


I stand a hundred feet (but I fall when I'm around you)

by kelleysohara



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2018-10-28 06:21:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 192,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10825545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelleysohara/pseuds/kelleysohara
Summary: Alex moves to Stanford from Berkeley the summer before senior year and has to navigate her way through a new school, new team, new friends, impending graduation and Kelley O'Hara.





	1. Every Girl Is A Little Gay

**Author's Note:**

> I'M BACK

Starting at a new college is hard for anybody, starting at a new college just two and a half weeks before senior year starts is borderline horrific, for Alex Morgan, she was about to experience the complete and utter chaos firsthand. The car stopped and Alex huffed from the backseat which was met with an eye roll from her mom and the repeated words.

“This was your decision.”

Half true; the situation hadn’t been entirely Alex’s fault, she had wanted to leave Cal for a while and after too many whiskey sours and a rather harshly worded email to her soccer coach, Alex was left with no choice but to leave to avoid the embarrassing reality that would hit her once fall arrived. Stanford was a good fit for Alex, the soccer program was one of the best in the country, the classes were always highly rated, lecturers with so much experience that it would be hard for them to not open their students’ eyes to a whole new perspective and opportunities; Alex was still yet to be convinced by it, moving to a near rival didn’t exactly excite the brunette. Alex let her head fall back against the headrest and sighed, she could see her dad standing impatiently outside the car, waiting for her to gather up the courage to actually admit this was going to be her home until graduation. Taking one last deep breath, Alex unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the car, instantly turning her nose up at the surroundings. Pam walked up behind and let her hands fall on her daughter’s shoulders as she hugged her youngest close to her,

“You’re sure about this honey? There was always UCLA-” Pam’s words were cut off by a vehement protest from Alex who then laughed as turned and hugged her mom properly.

“We’ve talked about this; UCLA sucks.”

“Melissa went to UCLA.” Mike spoke up from where he was lifting another of Alex’s bags out of the trunk; Alex rolled her eyes at the mention of her former high school best friend.

“I went to school with Melissa; there’s a reason she went to UCLA.” Alex chuckled earning confused looks from her parents in response, the intended purpose of the joke going over their heads. Freeing herself from her mom’s grip, Alex walked over to her bags and started tapping her fingers against the handle of her suitcase as her dad lifted the last box from the car and placed it atop of the pile of two. He shut the trunk and locked the car, Alex tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, the nerves of finally being at Stanford as a student were beginning to settle in and they were doing everything in their power to make Alex want to hotfoot it back to Cal without so much as a second thought. The apartment building stood before her, it was an old fashioned building but the brick work looked good and it didn’t strike Alex as somewhere that was going to collapse during the night as she slept.

“I wonder what your roommates are going to be like? Oh I hope they like you sweetheart.” Pam gushed, her hands moving to rub Alex’s shoulders comfortingly as the trio, armed with bags and boxes edged towards the apartment.

“They’re a bunch of soccer players’ mom; I don’t think they’ll be murderers.” Alex grinned, eliciting a smile from her dad but a glare from her mom who responded with a finger wag and a

“That is not funny Alex.” Her mom scolds.

Alex thought it was funny. Alex led the way upstairs until she arrived on the second floor at the apartment on the left, she could hear a playlist of the latest top 40 songs coming from inside; at least they’re not some of those weird people who hate music. Looking behind her at her parents who nodded encouragingly, Alex lifted her hand and knocked on the door, yells of ‘turn the music off’ and chants of ‘you answer the door’ were heard until the door flew open and Alex was greeted with a tall girl with her long blonde hair swept up into a ponytail and a toothy smile.

“Hi, you must be Alex? I’m Julie.” The girl held her hand out for Alex to shake, which she did. “Hi, you must be Alex’s parents, it’s great to meet you – come in!” Julie stepped aside allowing the three to enter the apartment, Alex smiled softly as she walked into the apartment, glancing over to Julie once more – Alex thinks she could like Julie. Walking into the living room, two other girls were stood in the kitchen, glasses in their hands whilst laughing over something. “Brian, Leroux – this is our new roommate!” Julie snapped her fingers grabbing the other girls’ attention as she brushed past Alex, the two girls placed their glasses on the counter and walked over to meet their new teammate. The lankier girl held her hand out,

“Morgan Brian, call me Moe or Brian or anything really, just don’t call me Morgs – I hate it.” Morgan’s tone turned into an accusatory one as she turned and narrowed her eyes at ‘Leroux’. Alex shook Morgan’s hand,

“Hey, I’m uh Alex Morgan,” Alex closed her eyes and internally cursed herself for sounding so nervous, the other girl spoke up next holding her own hand out.

“Sydney Leroux, star striker.”

Morgan snorted from beside the forward, “Syd, you can’t be the star forward when you blazed a shot from three yards out.”

“Your pass sucked Moe; even Messi couldn’t have scored with it.” Syd rolled her eyes dramatically.

“Cut it out you two; let’s try not to scare Alex off before she’s even settled in,” Julie wagged her finger at the two friends as she let her hand fall on Alex’s shoulder. “Let me show you to your room, you’ll be sharing with me – it’s just down the hall.” Julie opened the door to a bedroom; looking over at Julie’s bed, she noticed the aqua colored spiral print comforter, fairy lights and at least a hundred Polaroid’s covering her wall. Two soccer jerseys hung on her closet and a clear storage box was neatly packed and sat at the foot of her bed; at least she’s tidy. “This is your bed, side of the room – anything you want it to be, it used to be Heather’s but she graduated a few months back. I’ll leave you to get settled in but don’t worry, I’ll only be in the kitchen keeping Moe and Syd from killing each other; just call if you need something.” Julie beamed as she excused herself from the room as soon as Syd’s voice began to rise. Alex dropped her bags onto her bed,

“Julie seems nice,” Pam commented letting the boxes down onto the floor, Alex’s hands hovered over her bags.

“Yeah, she does.” Alex mumbled half heartedly, the tears beginning to burn the corners of her eyes; Pam instantly noticed her daughter’s lip trembling.

“Oh baby, come here.” Pam laughed softly bringing Alex into a hug as she wrapped her arms around her mother as tightly as was humanly possible, eyes screwed shut as she forced herself to steady her breathing, not wanting to completely break down and start sobbing.

“This sucks mom; I feel like a freshman again.” Alex muttered as Pam brushed her hand through Alex’s hair to try and soothe her little girl,

“I know it feels hard now but your roommates seem like lovely girls and I have no fear that you’ll settle in quickly.” Pam tries to reassure her daughter. 

Alex nodded, she knew her mom was right but it didn’t mean it wasn’t still scary and upsetting now. Removing herself from her mom’s arms, Alex rubbed at her eyes before plastering on the fakest of smiles and batting her eyelashes, “Can you make my bed before you leave?”

Pam and Mike laughed as her dad began to rummage through the boxes for a set of bedding for Pam to use; “go and get acquainted with your roommates Alex; we’ll come and say goodbye soon.”

“Nobody says acquainted anymore mother,” Alex rolled her eyes exasperatedly but left the room nonetheless and headed towards the loud chatter coming from the kitchen. Seeing the three girls sat around the kitchen counter, Morgan and Julie were arguing and telling Syd various snippets of information as the dark haired girl tapped away effortlessly and quickly at her phone. Morgan was the first to notice Alex behind them shifting her weight from foot to foot.

“Alex, dude; I know you’ve only just got here but there’s a party tonight – the football players organized it but it’s for all sports teams and well us soccer girls ALWAYS go.”

Alex walked over to the counter and placed her palms flat against the cool surface, “I don’t know if you’re gonna be up for it but it’s a really good way to introduce yourself to the team and if things get awkward there’s so much alcohol around you – it’ll soon be forgotten.” Julie added, Alex thought for a moment. She knew she was going to have to meet her teammates anyway and a party sounds like the perfect way to loosen up and shake off every ounce of negativity and self deprecating feeling overcoming her thoughts.

“I’d love to, it sounds fun.” Alex nodded, adding a smile for effect. Pam and Mike walked out of the room not long after, arms out waiting for a hug from their daughter who responded accordingly, hugging both parents tightly, after promising to call and behave herself, Alex waved her parents off before shutting the door and turning around to find her three roommates standing in a line, smiling at Alex who raised her eyebrows in return. “Is everything ok?”

“Yup,” Morgan replied; popping the p. “We just wanna learn a little bit about Alex Morgan.”

And so, that’s how their afternoon was spent. Alex told the three of them everything from growing up in Diamond Bar to leaving Cal at the end of her junior year; her new friends lying on the floor laughing to the point where Alex thought they were going to throw up as she retold them of what the email sent to her coach read – it wasn’t that bad, honestly. Alex also learnt about the other three girls; she learnt that Julie was from Arizona, Morgan was from Georgia and Sydney was from Canada but always thinks of herself as more American than anything – oh and that all three have intentions to one day be US National Team regulars. Alex found it refreshing to actually have teammates who wanted to pursue soccer as a profession; most of the girls she played with back at Cal only played for something to do and had no interest in the sport after college had ended.

~

The girls spent the rest of their afternoon, watching an old Borussia Dortmund VS Bayern Munich game that Morgan had recorded because Morgan is literally obsessed with the German powerhouse that is Bayern Munich. Syd and Julie took it in turns to tease Morgan about her not so little crush on Thiago Alcântara, Morgan ducking her head and blushing whilst simultaneously threatening to punch the both of them. Alex had known the three girls for only a matter of hours but Stanford already felt more like home than Cal ever did, she could definitely see herself becoming best friends with her roommates in the near future. Once the match had finished, a game that had ended quite comfortably 3-1 to Bayern; Syd announced that they had a little under two and a half hours before they had to head over to Allie’s house, which she went onto explain to Alex that their entire team were meeting up there first before heading to the actual party, making it easier for Alex to start to get to know their teammates – also, nobody does pregame like Allie Long, apparently. Sitting on the bed, Alex rummaged through her suitcase to try and find something to wear – eventually deciding on distressed, white shorts and a loose black tank top, an outfit she would pair with a pair of strappy sandals that she not so subtly stole from her sister last summer. Choosing to sit on the floor now, Alex carefully straightened her hair, taking extra precautions to not burn her ear like she did the other day, Alex then did her makeup, mainly neutral shades and not that much – makeup and humid weather just doesn’t go together. After getting dressed, Alex stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom and tugged at her top to try and make it look less creased than it actually was, ruffling her hair; Alex separated it and let it fall over both shoulders. She left the bathroom, instantly walking into Syd;

“Whoa Alex, you’re hot.”

Alex blushed under the compliment, “Thanks Syd.”

“JJ’s got shots lined up in the kitchen; I’ll be out in a minute.” Alex nodded as Syd took her place in the bathroom, the forward walked into the kitchen to find eight shots lined up on the counter and two nearly empty liquor bottles off to the side, picking up one of the bottles

“Raspberry vodka?”

“Moe’s favorite; it’s actually pretty good.” Julie responded, Alex looked at the other bottle but she already knew what it was before she read the label, tequila – her personal favorite. Syd appeared in the kitchen a couple of minutes later, the shots were distributed and on Syd’s count, the vodka was downed first with the tequila quickly following suit. The mixture of alcohol burnt Alex’s throat as it went down, her eyes screwed shut as she forced herself to not throw up from the sheer awful taste that the two drinks made. “Time to go to Allie’s!” Julie pointed to the door as the girls headed towards it; Julie linked her arm with Alex’s as she explained a couple of things about their teammates, and what stupid shit might happen tonight after a few too many drinks. During the six or seven minute walk, all Alex could think about was the nervous feeling hitting the pit of her stomach, she just wanted her new teammates to like her, to not come off as the weird kid she actually is – the last thing she wanted was to be alienated during her senior year, it’s tough being the new kid – especially when the majority of these girls have known each other since they were freshman three years ago. Walking up the house, the music could be heard blaring from all angles as well as various girls hollering. Alex stopped momentarily and took a few deep breaths to try and reassure herself and try to void the sickly feeling as Morgan pushed the door open; the music and yelling becoming significantly louder. Julie, her arm still hooked around Alex’s rushed in and with a few quick ‘hello’s’ and shouts of ‘let me get a drink first’ were all Julie uttered as she made her way through to the kitchen and pulled out two cups, pouring in some vodka and a mixer of both girl’s choice before shoving one of the cups into Alex’s hand, “let’s go and meet the girls. Don’t worry they’ll love you.” Julie smiled, the simple gesture doing a lot to reassure Alex as she took a sip of the drink. “I know the perfect people to introduce you to.” Julie put her hand in Alex’s as she calmly led the brunette over to two girls sitting on one of the sofas. “Tobs, Chris – this is our new teammate Alex, she’s my roommate.” Alex looked at the two girls, one girl had beautiful raven colored hair that complimented her grey eyes and the other girl had a similar hair color to Alex’s but was wearing a snapback.

“Tobin Heath and this is Christen Press.” The girl with the snapback spoke up first, Alex nodded.

“Alex Morgan; it’s great to meet you.” Alex nodded and smiled before instantly bringing the cup back to her lips to try and hide the blush on her cheeks, which she was definitely going to insist, was down to the bright lights of the living room. “So, what positions do you guys play?” Alex asked, feeling a little more confident.

“I’m a forward but Tobin’s a midfielder, she’s pretty good.” Christen answered and Alex didn’t miss the blush covering Christen’s cheeks as Tobin smirked in her direction.

Questions continued to be thrown back and forth, Alex squealing happily when she found out that Christen was from Palos Verdes; Christen and Tobin were pretty chilled out girls and Alex could really see herself getting on with both of them really well; Julie then took her over to meet a lot more of their teammates; she met Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris, Meghan Klingenberg who Alex found out was Morgan Brian’s best friend, she also met Alyssa Naeher and Whitney Engen before meeting the host of the best pregame Stanford has to offer – Allie Long; Allie was a tall midfielder with blonde hair and the kindest eyes, she was a really lovely girl who Julie explained that despite how much she loved partying – she also looks out for her teammates if they get too drunk and that if Alex felt like she was going to throw up or something to come and find her, Allie’s had plenty of nights where she’d nursed her teammates back from their awful drunken states. Alex actually found herself really enjoying her teammates’ company, everyone was nicer than she thought or maybe it’s just because she used to despise her teammates back at Cal – the world will never know. Julie had abandoned Alex around ten minutes ago to go and take part in a beer pong tournament that Ashlyn had claimed she was going to win easily and Julie Johnston was not about to give the goalkeeper the satisfaction. Alex had watched the competition for a couple of minutes when her drink ran out and she headed back to the kitchen for a refill, reaching out for the vodka, her hand touched that of another girl’s and when she looked up, Alex could’ve sworn in that one moment she felt her heart stop at the sight of who was standing in front of her. It was a teammate that Alex hadn’t met yet, or even seen for that matter, she had light brown hair that was loosely over her shoulders, a face of freckles that made her look a hundred times more attractive than she already was – if that was possible. The girl smiled and let the bottle go abruptly, Alex had to use her quick reflexes to curl around the bottle before it dropped and smashed against the counter.

“I’ve never seen you before,” the freckled girl said, narrowing her eyes at Alex who instantly felt unnerved under the other girl’s gaze.

“I-I’m Alex, A-Alex Morgan. I’m the new f-forward.” Alex groaned and stamped her foot like a toddler at how awkward and shy she sounded in that moment, the other girl didn’t seem to mind or if she did she didn’t show it.

“Well Alex Morgan. I’m Kelley O’Hara, defender extraordinaire and you’re really hot.” Kelley winked in Alex’s direction, before turning and reaching for a near empty bottle of tequila sitting on the counter. Kelley didn’t notice how flustered Alex was beside her, she definitely didn’t notice the way Alex’s hands gripped the counter with all the strength she could muster. Kelley turned back around and took a sip from the straight tequila in the cup before smirking in Alex’s direction, “Are you ok there Alex Morgan? You haven’t moved.” Alex knew full well that Kelley was enjoying seeing her blushing like a fool as she stared at her.

“I-I’m good,” Alex replied dipping her head and unscrewing the lid of the vodka and pouring some into her cup, she could feel Kelley’s eyes on her as she reached for a mixer for her drink, Kelley chuckled from her position.

“Can’t handle straight vodka? That’s cute,” Kelley commented walking closer to Alex. “So Alex Morgan; how are you liking Stanford so far?” Kelley’s lips brushed Alex’s ear as the forward’s knees nearly buckled underneath her as she took in the tequila mixed with spearmint? Peppermint? Whatever it was, it really worked on Kelley. Turning her head, Alex quickly downed the drink and let the cup drop against the counter, the alcohol immediately going to her head and giving her a whole load of fake confidence.

“Now that I’ve met you, I’d say Stanford was a pretty good decision.” Alex smirked, leaning in so her forehead was touching Kelley’s. “It’ll be even better if I see a lot more of you.” Alex watched as Kelley’s eyes closed and the defender sighed; satisfied with herself, Alex moved back and moved past Kelley, going in search of Syd who she last saw with Allie. Kelley watched Alex intently as she walked away, lips pursed as shook her head,

“Don’t even think about it O’Hara.” Tobin laughed walking up to the counter and reaching for a beer, Kelley chewed on the plastic cup in her hand,

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Heath.”

Tobin decided to humor her friend and nodded as she popped the top off the bottle and took a swig of beer, “Sure you don’t Kell. She’s probably not even gay.”

“Every girl is a little gay Tobs,” Kelley smirked to which Tobin rolled her eyes. “Maybe Alex Morgan just doesn’t know it yet.”

Tobin laughed as Christen approached the pair of them; her arm wrapping around Tobin’s waist as she leant over to grab a Smirnoff Ice, “What’s up with KO?” Christen asked looking between both girls,

“Kell’s got her eyes set on the new kid,” Tobin replied wiggling her eyebrows.

“Seriously Kell? She hasn’t even been here for an entire day yet.” Christen sighs, exasperated.

Kelley turned around and smirked at her two friends, the look of sheer determination flashed in her eyes, something that everyone was accustomed to seeing in Kelley O’Hara, when she wanted something or in this case, somebody – she would go out and get it, no matter how hard it was, she was also pretty confident and never let rejection deter her, if anything if she was rejected it just spurred her on further. That’s just how Kelley was as a person and for the most part, it suited her personality and made her so loveable that is stopped bothering her friends and romantic interests throughout college and if you were to ask Tobin – there have been a lot of them. The music shut off and everyone’s attention turned to a tipsy Allie and a more than just tipsy Sydney stood on the table, arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders to try and keep their balance.

“ALRIGHT LOSERS; WE’RE HEADING TO THE PARTY. IF YOU’RE A DESIGNATED DRIVER PLEASE DON’T DRINK, DON’T GET LOST, DON’T DROWN IN DWIGHT’S POOL AND HAVE FUN.”

Everyone hollered in response as many of the girls finished up their drinks and flanked to their roommates, they grabbed their jackets, made sure they had their phones and excited chatter was to be heard as everyone left the house heading towards the cars. Julie found Alex and once again hooked her arm through the brunette’s,

“We’re going to be going to the party with Emily Sonnett – she’s adorable, you’ll love her – Moe’s coming with us but Syd’s heading off with Allie – don’t worry if Syd doesn’t come home with us tonight because she’ll probably just be crashing here. Emily and Moe are both from Georgia so they’re pretty close and you’ll learn this soon enough. How are you enjoying it though? Is everyone as nice as you thought?” Alex knows that Julie’s quite talkative anyway but after having a few drinks she talks even more, she doesn’t mind though – Julie has such a calming, soft voice to listen to and she definitely doesn’t mind if the defender does a lot of the chatting tonight. Walking out to the range rover, Moe was stood with Emily – who quickly introduced herself and Julie was right, Emily is adorable. Moe was in the passenger seat with Alex and JJ in the back, music was blasting through the car, the windows down as Emily and Moe horrendously gave the other two renditions of what sounded like a Kanye song but honestly, who could be sure? It didn’t take long to arrive at the party and it was already booming, there were students congregating outside, flashing lights and music blaring from inside and beer bottles and plastic cups littering the grass outside. Getting out of the car, Alex took a moment to look around, the house was really nice, a lot nicer than what any of the footballers had back at Cal. “The football players are really nice guys, my boyfriend’s a football player – I’ll introduce you two,” Alex smiled at Julie as the pair walked into the house, the instant stench of beer hitting Alex in the face causing her to throw up a disgusted face, she wasn’t really one for drinking a lot of beer, especially not an excessive amount. After Julie announced she was going to find her boyfriend, Alex walked through the house, her teammates were spread out inbetween what she’d found out where various members of the track team, softball players, basketball players and others. Alex watched on amused as Emily talked Morgan into a game of truth or dare with the guys in one of the back rooms, Morgan rolling her eyes and finally giving into the request as Emily gleefully dragged Morgan through the crowd, unapologetically crashing into different people. Alex continued her walk to the kitchen to grab a drink when she saw Kelley standing in front of the counter holding out a cup to her, Alex furrowed her eyebrows as she took the drink.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna poison you, it’s the same drink you made back at Allie’s.” Kelley smiled, and Alex relaxed at the sight of the sincere grin on the defender’s face.

“Thank you,” Alex took a sip before holding the cup close to her chest. Kelley took a step closer,

“I’m guessing, JJ ditched you for Zach and Moe got dragged into something stupid by Sonnett?” Kelley raised her eyebrows waiting for Alex’s answer.

“You guessed right, I don’t mind though – I don’t want them to feel like they have to babysit me.” Alex shrugged as she took another drink, Kelley smiled, a glint of mischief flashing in her eyes before Alex’s attention was stolen away by one of the football players that Kelley recognized as Jackson Hunter,

“Hey pretty girl,” he slurred which only caused Alex to roll her eyes in return, one thing she can’t stand is drunk football players, especially drunk football players who try to hit on her. “Not seen ‘ya around here before.” Alex closed her eyes and cringed at the strong smell of beer on his breath. “Let me get ‘ya a drink.”

“I have a drink.” Alex deadpanned before taking a sip for effect. The gesture didn’t seem to affect the guy and he just insisted on moving closer until Alex’s back was pressed up against the counter, Alex just turned her head away and chose to focus on anything else – there was a group of four people sitting on the floor playing a card game, interesting but at least it took Alex’s attention off what was happening. When the Jackson’s lips hit Alex’s neck, that’s when the forward let out a strangled squeal and Kelley was quick to jump in and push the Jackson away.

“That’s enough Jackson, go and find a junior to sexually frustrate.” Kelley’s eyes narrowed and her jaw was clenched as Jackson shrugged and backed off easily before stumbling through the house. Kelley’s attention turned to Alex who was steadying her breathing, extending a hand to the forward. “Want to go outside for a bit, it’s kinda stuffy in here?” Alex nodded at the offer and slipped her hand into Kelley’s as the freckle faced girl led them through the house and out the back door onto the patio, choosing the corner furthest away from the door, Kelley sat down with her back against the fence, her cup in her left hand as she swished the liquid around; Alex nervously took a seat beside her, knees brought up to her chest with her drink beside her. The two fell into a comfortable silence, the beat of the music quieter from outside but still loud and the sounds of their breathing were all that could be heard for a moment until Alex tilted her head to the side to look at Kelley who had her eyes fixed straight ahead.

“… Thank you – for getting me out of that.” Alex said, her voice was barely audible but Kelley nodded,

“Jackson’s a dick; I didn’t want to see you suffer him when he’s drunk, I mean; he’s a dick when he’s sober but he’s worse when he’s drunk.” Kelley’s tone was bitter and Alex could’ve sworn she saw something flash in Kelley’s eyes but it was gone as quickly as it appeared.

“Still; thank you. I’m happy you were there,” Alex let her head fall against Kelley’s shoulder, the defender smiling a little.

“Couldn’t leave a damsel in distress could I?”

Alex chuckled and nudged Kelley’s knee with her own. “My hero,” Alex swooned before lifting her head to leave a gentle kiss to Kelley’s cheek.

~

After deciding they couldn’t avoid the party all night and especially since the garden was becoming an area filled with passed out soccer players and students running out to vomit; Kelley and Alex quickly ducked back into the house, their eyes scanning for their teammates before going to find something to do, they could’ve played beer pong but Alex sucks at throwing, they could’ve danced but on the recommendation of Christen who they bumped into on the stairs, Kelley is apparently a horrendous dancer – something she continues to protest, they passed a room and stopped in their tracks when they saw Emily and Morgan making out before Emily pulled back and fist pumped the air, and yelling drunkenly

“YOU OWE US DUDE”

“I don’t even want to know.” Alex chuckled continuing to walk through the house. If they were being totally honest, Kelley and Alex were completely over the party and ready for bed, something that happened to fall in their favor when Tobin and Julie approached looking for their respected person and asking if they could go home because they were beat. Julie went to grab Morgan and Emily whilst Tobin went looking for Christen and Alyssa.

“So, I guess I’ll be seeing you around Alex Morgan.”

“I’d say that is a possibility Kelley O’Hara.” Alex nodded in response before continuing to speak. “I think getting to know you is going to be a big adventure.” Kelley smirked and winked at Alex,

“You have no idea. I hope you’re ready.” Kelley leant forward and bopped Alex’s nose causing the forward to scrunch up her nose as Tobin came up behind her and wrapped her arms around Kelley’s shoulders from behind,

“Let’s go dude; bye Alex – good luck with drunken Moe.”

“Bye guys,” Alex waved and hugged Christen before the four left. Emily and Moe appeared at Alex’s side, Moe drunkenly dancing to the music still playing as Tobin’s words sunk into Alex’s head. Julie walked up,

“I was just saying bye to Zach – damnit I was gonna introduce you two.” Julie cursed when she remembered, if not slightly late.

“There’ll be other times JJ, let’s just go to bed.” Alex yawned as she followed the three out to the car.

Julie was right, Syd was crashing at Allie’s which ultimately meant Emily was crashing at their apartment. After taking her makeup off, tying her hair up and changing into her pajamas, Alex walked into the kitchen to find Emily and Morgan arguing over how to make Mac ‘n’ Cheese – apparently, it’s Moe’s favorite drunk food, it’s actually Alex’s favorite food in general and Emily was too slow to stop Morgan pouring so much pasta into the pan that they’re probably going to be eating it for the next few days.

She’s been here for half a day and already Alex thinks moving to Stanford was one of her better life decisions.


	2. Cal Sucks But Not As Much As UCLA

After waking up uncharacteristically at 6:49 AM; Alex found herself staring at the ceiling for fifteen minutes, trying to lull herself back to sleep but once she accepted that she was now fully awake and the chances of getting more sleep were thin; Alex pushed the comforter off of her and sat up, rubbing her face and tucking some loose hair behind her ear. Looking over at Julie, the blonde had her face buried in her pillows and the comforter brought up so high that you could just see the top of her head peeking out. Alex swung her legs over the bed and let them fall against the hardwood floor of the bedroom, initially shivering at how cold it was beneath her before powering through and standing up, tiptoeing over to the door, Alex opened it and walked out closing it over softly, Alex made her way into the kitchen and rubbed the sleep out her eyes as she stopped at the counter where the empty bowls from the Mac ‘n’ Cheese earlier that morning were still on the counter. After deciding against putting them in the dishwasher, Alex started to hand wash the bowls and shot glasses from last night as quietly as she could before drying them, putting them away and turning around to make some coffee. Leaning against the counter, Alex could only begin to wonder what kind of state Morgan was going to wake up in – and if she’d even remember the fact she spent over an hour crying because Emily tricked her little drunken head into thinking the dinosaurs were coming to get her. Emily was lying on the floor, crying from laughing so hard at the sight of Morgan curled up in the arm chair, blubbering and trying to formulate a plan to run away from the dinosaurs before they found her. After pouring some coffee into a cup, she heard footsteps coming from down the hall; turning around, Alex took a sip of coffee as Emily came into her view,

“Morning Alex,” She grinned taking a seat at the counter, “You made coffee? Where have you been all my life?” She asked, letting her head rest on her hand as Alex turned around to make some coffee for the defender,

“Is this not normal? Does Julie or Morgan not make coffee?” Alex turned around and placed the mug of coffee on the table before sliding it across to Emily who gratefully accepted it.

“You’re kidding right? JJ and Moe are never awake long enough to make coffee – usually they wake up with five minutes to get to class. Sometimes, I have to come by here to wake Moe up to make sure she actually goes to class because that kid will sleep until noon if she could.” Emily explained before taking a drink of the coffee, Alex nodded, her own hands curling around the mug.

“Good to know; I usually wake up pretty early so I can make sure they get to class.”

“You’re exactly what they need; especially after Heather graduated.” Emily responded, her voice becoming significantly lower towards the end and Alex was sure not to miss the nervous glint in Emily’s eyes. “So, once dumb and dumber wake up – the girls’ usually head to a waffle house not far from here to get breakfast, it’s something we’ve been doing since freshman year, usually to just hang out but mainly because their breakfasts are a hungover dream; you in?” Alex thought for a moment, taking a sip of coffee to fuel her thinking, then her stomach rumbled and Emily laughed from opposite her. “I take that as a yes?” Alex blushed,

“Yeah, it sounds great. What time does everyone usually get there?”

“Like 9 AM, we’re really not a team for waking up early unless we have to but food is usually a good way to wake us up.” Emily continues to explain as she takes a sip of coffee.

Alex listened as Emily continued to explain certain things about the team, usually it was anything other than soccer and more about who the girls were as people, their personalities and stories from the last few years that had Alex laughing as she came to terms with the fact there were a lot of drunken debauchery that happened on this team. As Alex was listening, she couldn’t help but allow herself to zone out now and then and to think back to last night, more importantly Kelley O’Hara; Alex is a tough kid, she can handle herself well and especially during similar situations that have occurred with guys like Jackson but for some reason, seeing the way Kelley clenched her jaw and the way her voice had an underlying harsh tone, something about it sent shivers down the back of Alex’s spine, also, letting Kelley get her out of that situation when Alex knew that if she had a few seconds to regain her composure she could’ve handled the situation herself, there was something about the concern and want to get Alex out of there was something Alex appreciated more than she could ever form in words. Emily was in the middle of retelling a story about a 3 AM pickup game during last November when doors could be heard opening and the sounds of feet padding against the wooden floor had the two girls turning their attention to the hallway where Julie was trudging sleepily and Morgan was practically crawling as she was clutching her head. “God, you’re such a lightweight.” Emily commented as Morgan let herself drop in the seat, head in hands as she grumbled something incoherent, Julie rubbed Alex’s shoulders and smiled as she mumbled out a tired “good morning.” Before reaching for some coffee and sitting down beside the forward. Morgan looked up, eyes fluttering closed every now and then as she clutched the back of her head.

“I’m not talking to you Sonnett. I had a nightmare that dinosaurs were actually ‘gonna eat me.” Morgan groaned, reaching for the bottle of Advil on the counter and fumbling around with the lid to unscrew it, an action that she was struggling to complete until Emily swiped the bottle from her hand and unscrewed it with a lot more ease, taking two and handing them to her friend whilst Julie handed her a cup of coffee she had gotten up to get for her. Morgan took the painkillers and drank some coffee, the conversation beginning to flow a lot easier now that everyone was a lot more awake. Alex had never had a morning like this at college, usually she’d wake up, do her own thing, now here she was actually laughing and having real chats about whatever nonsense came to mind. Emily’s attention was on her phone, as teal nails tapped away at an accelerated speed,

“Team’s awake; we should probably get ready to leave.” Emily spoke without lifting her head; Julie nodded “Yeah guys, nobody wants to get there last.”

“Why?” Alex asked, slightly confused about a hinted race to the waffle house.

Julie smirked, “you don’t want to know.” And Alex really didn’t, she stood up and placed her empty mug carefully on the side before walking down to her room, she looked through her suitcase having still not completely unpacked, that’s reminds her – she should probably spend the rest of the day unpacking her stuff and making her side of the room look more homely. Pulling out a pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt, Alex stretched and let her eyes fall over to her phone; she picked it up and ignored the messages from her friends, eyes scanning over a particular message.

I miss you –

The number on her phone wasn’t saved, but Alex recognized the number immediately and felt uneasy, her thumb hovered over the screen as she thought whether she should reply or whether to not give them the satisfaction. Ignoring the message, Alex just locked her phone and set it down on her bed as she continued to look through her bag, her hands shook as she picked up her hairbrush, her mind still focusing on the three words, I miss you – a simple phrase that shouldn’t have Alex feeling the way she did, she didn’t deserve to feel hurt by the words anymore.

“Hey, do you mind if I use the bathroom first?” Alex jumped at the sound of Julie’s voice behind her, whipping her head around with wide eyes, Alex quickly shook her head.

“No, no – you can use it first.” Alex responded breathlessly, Julie didn’t notice the deer in the headlights expression from Alex as she moved to grab clothes from her closet. Once Julie had left the room, Alex sat down on her bed and unlocked her phone again, she thought carefully about what she wanted to reply with, screw you seemed too nice, she could say I miss you too – it wouldn’t be too far from the truth. Eventually Alex settled on a response,

You don’t deserve to miss me – Alex

Alex set her phone aside again and once she heard the lock open on the bathroom door, Alex grabbed her stuff and walked out of the room, passing Julie on the way as she walked into the bathroom to get ready for the morning. Showering, dressing and brushing her teeth; Alex felt her eyes beginning to drop, the effects of waking up so early starting to catch up with her. After tying her hair up into a ponytail, Alex walked back into her room, checking her phone to see if there was a reply, there wasn’t but the message had been read. Alex tried to ignore the niggling feeling and made her way into the kitchen where she was met with Morgan clinging onto Emily, seemingly doing everything in her power to annoy the other girl and by the look on Sonnett’s face, it was definitely working.

“Let’s go; Tobin and Christen have already arrived,” Emily tried to push the three towards the door, accidentally pushing Alex’s back too roughly as the forward barreled into the back of Morgan, before apologizing rashly and letting her cheeks turn red as the girls made their way downstairs to Emily’s range rover which she learnt from Sonnett herself that it was a present from her parents at the end of her freshman year of college for not quitting; Alex wishes she could get a car for not quitting Cal two years earlier than she did. Morgan was reeling off names of the teammates that had already arrived, but Morgan was chilled out about the fact that as long as they arrived before Ashlyn, Ali, Meghan and Whit – it would be worth it, Alex didn’t know why but Emily and JJ hummed in agreement, smirking and chuckling at the prospect of beating the defensive roommates. Sonnett parked the car and killed the engine, leading the four girls to get out of the car,

“Can you see it?” Julie asked Morgan who was scanning the parking lot,

“Nope.” She replied whilst holding her hand up to high five a disinterested Sonnett, who complied anyway. Julie linked her arm with Alex’s as the four headed towards the restaurant, JJ excitedly waving at Christen who was seated by the window. Alex could see Tobin sitting beside Christen on her phone and wondered if Kelley was with them. She wasn’t sure why but the prospect of seeing Kelley smiling in her direction was enough to make this day better. Walking into the restaurant, the smell of freshly made waffles had Alex’s mouth watering, if they smelled this good – Alex could only begin to imagine how they tasted. Julie led Alex to the table, Alex feeling slightly deflated when she didn’t see Kelley but instantly perking up again when Tobin waved her over to the empty seat beside her, Alex walked over and sat down, taking in Tobin’s appearance, she was wearing the same snapback she had on last night and was wearing an oversized grey hoodie,

“S’up Morgan?” Tobin nodded towards the forward who raised her own eyebrows in response.

“S’up? Really Tobin?” Alex raised the question to which Tobin shrugged in response but Alex could see Christen glaring at the back of the midfielder’s head,

“Christen hates when I say it,” Tobin answers; Alex laughed but didn’t offer up a reply; Julie was sitting opposite Alex beside Alyssa, Allie and Syd were sat by the window with Emily taking up her position by Morgan and taking great amusement from teasing her best friend over her hungover nature. Julie leant across and let her hand fall on Syd’s arm.

“Syd, are you ok?” Julie asked, she’s seen Sydney Leroux hungover plenty of times since she met her, but after three years of parties and becoming a drunken mess, the striker had actually become quite a pro at handling the headache and sickly feeling that comes with a hangover. “Syd,” the striker lifted her head and pulled a face of disgust.

“Hungover,” she mumbled half heartedly. “Allie made me drink things, horrible things.” Sydney shuddered at the memory of Allie Long throwing repulsive concoctions into her hand throughout the night.

“They were not that bad Syd. I’m fine.” Allie sang, leaning closer to whisper in Syd’s ear as the striker jumped away and glared with all the anger she could muster in her tired state.

“Don’t whisper, you know I hate the sound.”

Allie shrugged and picked her glass of juice up, “I know you do.”

Ali and Ashlyn walked in eight minutes later, with Meghan and Whitney following them as Meghan gestured wildly as she retold Whitney a story from last night. Ali stopped at the table and let her shoulders drop. “I told you we’d be late!” She scolded Ashlyn, who rolled her eyes,

“You guys suck,” smiles appeared on the faces of the majority of the girl’s teammates.

Alex rubbed the back of her neck as Tobin leant over and explained it to Alex; “We have this thing, if we have to anywhere, a party, pregame, dinner or sometimes team meetings at Becky’s house the last to arrive have to do a forfeit of the team’s choice and usually we’ll conspire to get here to make the defense turn up last because they’re the best to give forfeits to.”

Alex nodded as the team all leant closer, words were exchanged and ideas were thrown into the mix, some were instantly rejected whilst others were carefully considered. Christen suggested they get four spoonfuls of; coffee, cocoa powder, the contents of a teabag and cinnamon and make them choose one to eat blindfolded or with someone else’s hands covering their eyes. Alex thought the idea was actually pretty good for a team who had barely slept the night before. Christen and Tobin left the table to go and set it up; Morgan was being hugged from behind by Meghan, Ali and Ashlyn were happily talking away to Julie and Syd whilst Whitney and Alyssa were in a deep conversation until Christen and Tobin returned and explained what was happening with Emily taking her position to cover Ali’s eyes first as she picked the spoonful of tea, probably the best of the four. Whitney was next and she chose the coffee which despite the look on her face, shrugged and informed the rest that it didn’t taste that bad, Meghan chose the cocoa powder and everyone had a laugh watching Meghan Klingenberg choking on the powder as it blew through the air as she hit her chest four times to try and avoid ‘dying’. Ashlyn got stuck with the cinnamon powder and ended up in a rather similar position to Meghan, she was pissed off and spent the next ten minutes whilst orders were being placed, sulking in her chair. Alex kept looking out of the window to the parking lot, she could understand a forfeit being given to players that were the last to arrive but Kelley hadn’t turned up yet and so wouldn’t that mean she should be getting a forfeit to? Alex questioned Tobin on it who laughed and shook her head,

“Nah; Kelley’s immune to the forfeits,” Alex gestured for her to explain further. “She’s just Kelley, she gets away with a lot on this team, it’s just who she is.”

It’s just who she is, Alex was beginning to wonder just who Kelley O’Hara actually was. Alex wasn’t given much time to think about it though when a body sat in the chair beside her and leant in close to brush their lips against her ear, “good morning Alex Morgan.” Alex tilted her head to the side to find a wide awake Kelley grinning at her goofily,

“Morning Kelley,” Alex’s voice was significantly lower but her eyes scanned over Kelley’s face, she had a familiar glint of mischief in her eyes that Alex was starting to think was permanently there. Attention turned to soccer, they still had a few weeks yet until they had to really start thinking about it, but the team were still excited nonetheless, Alex was brought into the conversation when questions were thrown at her about Cal, Alex answered as honestly as she could, she left out a few details here and there because she didn’t want to tell these girls everything just yet. Throughout her talking, Alex could feel Kelley’s eyes on her and she had to force herself to steady herself before she spoke not wanting to give the defender the satisfaction of making her nervous in her presence. The conversation then turned to a suggestion of a pickup game down on Maloney Field later that evening; Tobin and Allie were the most excited, both having missed playing soccer the most during the summer, Alex zoned out of the conversation, if she missed any details out then she was sure Julie would fill her in on them later. Her phone buzzed on the table beside her hand, and flicking her eyes down, she sighed when she saw the number and picked up her phone, unlocking it and reading over the message.

Don’t deserve to miss you? Alex you can’t control how I feel when I think about you, I’m sorry for the way things ended. –

Alex rolled her eyes, they sure as hell weren’t sorry when Alex found out what had happened, it took losing her and ruining her last few months at Cal, it took so much more than it should’ve to realize that they completely screwed up.

You made me suffer, if you felt anything for me then you wouldn’t have let me fall the way I did – Alex

Alex locked her phone and turned her attention to the chipped maroon nail polish on her left thumb, she began to chip at it further, a nervous habit she’s had for so many years, ever since she stumbled upon the realization that soccer was only one part of her life and the other part included wanted to be a girly girl like her sisters, a night of fun with them had led to Jeri painting her nails in a purple nail polish – a color she wore everyday for bordering on two months, when she had her first date at the age of fourteen – she was waiting in the living room when the nerves began and she subconsciously started chipping away at the dark purple colored polish, feeling better about everything when she pulled off pieces, since then the habit has stuck, hence why she is always wearing nail polish.

“Are you ok?” Kelley asks

Alex was brought out of her thoughts by a hand on her shoulder, turning her head she smiled at Kelley

. “Yeah,” she breathed out slowly, “I just miss my old friends is all.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie because Alex did have some really good friends back at Cal and it’s going to be difficult to navigate her senior year without them, after all, they spent a lot of their time together imaging what their graduation would be like, now they were going to do it without her.

“I get that; it must’ve been hard to leave them.” Kelley said, Alex nodded but didn’t add anything else. Their food arrived, and Alex could’ve sworn she nearly melted at the sight of the food, it all looked so good. Tucking in, Alex was just about to eat a mouthful when a hand moved in front of her and Kelley swiped a piece of bacon from her plate, but before Alex could even protest, Kelley had already eaten the foodstuff and was smiling at the forward gratefully. Alex just shook her head and turned her attention back to her breakfast, trying hard to hide the smile threatening to form. Kelley leant back in her seat, her arm subconsciously moving to wrap around the back of Alex’s chair as the defender struck up a conversation with Whitney and Morgan, catching snippets of what they were saying, it mainly involved something about Kelley sneaking into a frat party tomorrow night, to which Whitney was trying to talk her out of it bringing up

“Do you remember what happened the last time you tried to sneak into a frat party Kell?”

“That wasn’t entirely my fault Whit; it was going well until I realized the window was higher than two foot.”

Kelley was smirking as she shuffled down further in the seat, her arm brushing against Alex’s as the forward shivered slightly as she drank the remainder of her coffee.

~

Once they were back home, Alex had excused herself to take some time to actually unpack her stuff before she resorted to spending the next year living out of cardboard boxes and creased clothes. She started with her clothes, choosing to tip the contents of her suitcase and bags onto the bed and sorting her clothes into piles before putting them away, organized with pants on the bottom, shirts in the middle and sweaters on the top shelf, folded precisely and neatly, not that she cared about that stuff… After hanging up her jackets and hoodies, Alex stopped in the middle of the room and let her face drop at the three boxes of stuff on the floor, she pulled one onto the bed and opened it, it was all of her books but the fairy lights from her old room were on top, Alex has always been obsessed with fairy lights, she pulled them out and sat cross-legged on her bed as she started to unravel them, she furrowed her eyebrows as she carefully tried to untangle a knot in the lights.

“Hello Alex Morgan.” Alex dropped the fairy lights, jumping at the sound of the voice, she lifted her head up and looked over at Kelley stood leaning against the doorframe of the bedroom, arms folded and her bottom lip between her teeth. Alex couldn’t help but feel happier that it was Kelley who was here, Kelley pushed herself off the door and walked into the room stopping at the side of Alex’s bed and nodding towards it, Alex taking the hint and shuffling across to make space for Kelley to climb onto the bed and sit beside her, they sat in silence as Alex reverted back to untangling her fairy lights, Kelley taking it upon herself to begin on the other end to make the job easier. “These are pretty, like you.” Kelley commented curling a part of the light set around her finger, Alex felt her cheeks heating up as she mumbled out a feeble thanks. For the most part, they stayed quiet but occasionally one of them would look up and glance at the other, careful not to get caught. Once they were untangled, Alex stood up to put them up on her wall: Kelley holding the lights out whilst Alex tacked a particular part in place, once she was done she turned around to look at Kelley.

“How does it look?” Alex asked, hoping the lights were straight and secure in place. Kelley smirked whilst also not so subtly checking Alex out,

“Looking good, hot stuff.”

“I meant the lights,” Alex mumbled even though she definitely knew that Kelley knew that. Kelley and Alex together helped unpack the rest of the boxes – it took longer than it would have because Kelley kept picking up various items, studying them before asking Alex a million questions.

Morgan appeared at the door, “It’s time to leave guys, and everyone’s heading up to Maloney field.”

Alex nodded before looking down at her outfit, “let me just get changed.” Morgan gave her a thumbs up before heading back down the hall yelling Emily’s name. Alex hopped off the bed and headed to her closet to grab a pair of shorts and an oversized Cal shirt,

“I didn’t think I’d be getting a show when I arrived,” Alex whipped her head around and narrowed her eyes at Kelley before replying with a “you aren’t, get out please.”

Alex didn’t miss the pout on Kelley’s face as the defender made no effort to move from her position on Alex’s bed; Alex just rolled her eyes and grabbed her clothes and walking across the hall to the bathroom instead. She changed into the clothes and tied her hair back into a ponytail using the hair tie on her wrist, she tucked some loose hairs behind her ear before padding back into the bedroom and pulling out a pair of Nike’s from her wardrobe and sitting on the floor, putting them on – noticing that Kelley had now left her room, feeling a lot sadder about that than she should considering she’s only known the girl for less than a day. Standing up, Alex fumbled around her training bag for the piece of material, pulling out the pink piece of prewrap, she rolled her eyes at how that stupid superstition has stood from being a kid, but anyway, she put it on and pushed it back onto her head before leaving the room and walking into the kitchen. Julie and Morgan were sitting at the table, trying to battle out in a game of bottle flip with their water. Emily and Kelley were sat on the couch, Sonnett had her arm around Kelley’s shoulder and was talking quietly to which Kelley would offer up a couple of nods in response.

“You guys ready to go?” Alex’s voice brought everyone’s attention to her as Emily stood up, swinging her car keys around her finger.

“Yup, let’s go dudes.” Emily and Morgan raced out of the apartment after the midfielder had yelled shotgun. Julie followed, adding that she should probably go and watch them before they fall down the stairs or something. Kelley stood by the door, grinning as she waited for Alex.

“You are going to get mercilessly teased for this you know?” Kelley tugged at the Cal t-shirt,

Alex shrugged. “I’ll probably join in.”

“I like you Alex Morgan.” Kelley commented as the pair left the apartment and followed the yelling coming from the stairwell.

~

Walking onto Maloney Field as a Stanford player was a weird feeling for Alex, she’d played here so many times during her collegiate career but knowing this field was going to be her home field actually ignited a feeling in Alex that she didn’t think she could feel anymore, happiness – she was even happier when she approached her teammates who were laughing and yelling as they passed a number of balls between each other. After everyone had arrived and were standing around, “captains?”

“Tobin and Ali are captains,” Christen announced, looking up from her phone for a brief second. “Only because the rest of you suck,” arguments ensued, as did the sarcastic comments. Alex was flicking her eyes around,

“Just wait until all the players are back, our captain’s on vacation until next week.” Kelley said to Alex. “Things get really chaotic when all of us are together,”

“I can’t wait,” Alex smiled turning to look at Kelley. Teams were chosen; Tobin’s team included; Alyssa, Kelley, Meghan, Christen, Allie and Alex and Ali’s team was; Ashlyn, JJ, Syd, Moe, Whit and Emily. Tobin’s team were stood in a circle, Kelley’s arm was wrapped around Alex’s waist as she and Tobin exchanged tactics on how to beat the other girls, apparently playing dirty is key and by the way Kelley was winking, it was definitely Kelley who thought up the idea. Tobin and Meghan kept glancing over to the other team to try and make out what was being said but Ali had the whispering down, she’d make one hell of a captain one day. As the teams separated out, Tobin nudged Alex’s shoulder.

“Your shirt sucks by the way,” Alex just laughed and joined Christen up front, the timer started on Whitney’s phone – only because she was the only one who could be trusted to stop the game when it was supposed to be, the game started and Alyssa threw the ball out to Christen who had ran to the right side, she brought the ball down and skipped over Moe’s challenge as though she wasn’t there. Christen ran to the edge of the box before sending a ball to the back post, the ball had sailed way over Alex’s head but Allie was running in behind her and managed to divert the ball off of her left foot and watched as it slid under Ashlyn’s body into the back of the goal.

“YEAH ALLIE.” Syd yelled before realizing they were on opposing sides, “ACTUALLY IT WASN’T THAT GOOD.” Everyone knew Syd was lying though, even more so when the striker started laughing as Ash threw the ball forward to Julie. The game restarted with JJ sending out a pass to Emily who crossed the ball to Morgan before the midfielder took the ball down and slid past Meghan who ended up on her ass laughing as Moe passed the ball for Syd to calmly pass into the goal. Alex stood off to the side, even though it was just a pickup game and it shouldn’t mean anything, Alex couldn’t help but feel like she had a point to prove, to show her teammates that she was actually good enough for their team. Alyssa passed the ball to Tobin who nutmegged Whitney before passing it out to Kelley, Christen and Alex ran forward towards the box, Sonnett marking Alex as Kelley sent a long ball in Alex’s direction, she stopped it on her chest and brought it down, easily turning past Emily and with a swing of her right foot sent the ball soaring into the upper 90, the ball hitting the back of the goal before Ashlyn had even dived for it. Alex didn’t even know how to react but her eyes met Kelley’s and they ran towards each other, Alex hooking her arms around the defender’s neck as Kelley caught the forward and swung her around, the both of them laughing as Alex’s feet hit the pitch again. Alex was still laughing when she looked into Kelley’s eyes and saw a glint of something other than mischief in her eyes, Alex let her head drop onto Kelley’s shoulder before Kelley let her go and Alex high-fived the rest of her team. The buzzer sounding on Whitney’s phone signaling halftime. Alex tightened her ponytail as she walked over to the side of the pitch where Julie handed her a bottle of water that she gratefully accepted, she opened it and took a drink when she felt somebody beside her, and Kelley slung her arm around Alex’s shoulders and took the bottle from her hand to take a drink herself.

“Yes Kelley, please help yourself.” Alex rolled her eyes, Kelley just smirked in response.

“Nice goal Morgan,” Tobin commented walking up behind the pair, “not bad for someone who spent three years at Cal.”

“You know by insulting Cal, you’re not bothering me.” Alex responded, raising her eyebrows at the midfielder.

“I know Alex; I just like to remind you that Cal sucks.”

“Not as much as UCLA though.” Tobin and Alex said at the same time, staring at each other for a second before laughing at the synchronicity. Morgan felt a raindrop hit her arm and when she looked up at the sky, it had changed significantly to dark skies and a multitude of clouds, the rain started to fall, light at first but in the space of two and a half minutes it was absolutely pouring down and the girls were soaked through, their t-shirts and pants sticking to them as they huddled on the side.

“Game over!” Allie announced trying to shield her hair from the rain.

“Its a little rain Allie, it’s not gonna kill ‘ya.” Meghan laughed.

“Yeah, we can totally finish the game.” Ashlyn agreed, until a clap of thunder and a flash of lightning hit causing self confessed Emily ‘I’m scared of nothing’ Sonnett to scream out in fear and cling to Morgan like a small child would cling to their mother, Morgan slipped on the wet turf beneath her feet and the weight of the defender, the pair hitting the ground with a loud thump and groans. “I take it back; we can’t finish the game because Sonnett’s a scared-y cat.” Ashlyn laughed, slipping her arm around Ali’s waist as Emily sat up, arms folded and pouting as she huffed out that she wasn’t scared. Christen and Tobin cleared up the balls and put them away as the team headed back to their houses, Julie had her arm linked through Alex’s as they followed Morgan, Emily and Syd back to Emily’s car. As soon as they reached Emily’s car, the defender remembered that she left her keys on the bench, she started racing back to the field leaving the rest shivering and internally wanting to punch Emily for keeping them in the rain longer than they wanted to be. Kelley and Tobin walked into the parking lot, the defender skipping over to Alex

“You were going to leave without saying goodbye to me?” Kelley asked her hand over her heart as she feigned offence.

“Of course not Kell, how could I do such a thing?” Alex smirked, Kelley, Alex and Julie talked until Emily came back with their car keys.

“I’ll see you later Alex Morgan,”

“See ‘ya later Kelley.”

Once they were home, everyone rushed to their rooms to get changed into something warmer, Alex chose worn out sweatpants and an oversized Cal hoodie – maybe she should get some Stanford stuff, also, why did she bring so much of her rival’s clothing with her? These are the questions that Alex is too tired to answer and instead, choosing to eat the Mac ‘n’ Cheese and sitting on the couch as Syd put Mean Girls on because why the hell not?

Day one down, two hundred and something to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feed my ego! leave comments, kudos, whatever you want


	3. There Are Worse Things I Could Be Doing Than Sitting In The Rain With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK LET ME GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT - I DON'T JUST TAG PEOPLE IN THIS STORY FOR THE SAKE OF IT, OK? THERE ARE LITERALLY 3 CHAPTERS OF IT UPLOADED AND THE STORY HAS BARELY BEGAN SO STOP MOANING FOR THE SAKE OF IT? GOOD, THANK YOU. 
> 
> also; can we talk about that Portland/Seattle game, I nearly died three times, oh and can we talk about the loml Kelley O'Hara scoring?

Alex is awoken from what was a deep slumber by a loud scream of pain followed by echoing laughter coming from down the hall. Alex lifts her head from the pillows and pulls her arms out from under where her head had been, instantly letting out a string of curse words when she realized her arm had gone dead throughout the night, she struggled to lift her arm up to massage it until the feeling came back, sitting in bed she continued to rub her arm as she looked over to the empty bed beside her own, looking down at her phone, 9:42 AM, that’s pretty late for Alex, she didn’t go to bed that late, right? Once the feeling in her arm returned, Alex clambered off her bed and walked through the apartment, stretching and yawning as she did so until she reached the kitchen and was met with yells of ‘you suck!” and “no, you do it!” Alex wasn’t awake enough for this, walking towards the counter, Alex saw Emily sitting at the counter, ignoring the noise. “Do you even spend time in your own house?”

“I sleep there, sometimes.” Sonnett grinned. “It’s just, Moe’s here and she keeps me from doing stupid shit. Do you know Moe used to be my roommate?”

Alex shook her head, grabbing her coffee and sitting down beside Emily who explained further.

“Tobin used to live here, but she used to do what I do now – she spent so much time over at Christen’s apartment, sometimes JJ wouldn’t see her for like a week because she’d just choose to be with Christen and Kelley. In the end, Moe and Tobin just decided to switch, it was easy to do then I switched with Alyssa at the beginning of last year.” Alex’s eyes trailed over to Christen and Tobin who were sitting in the corner of the living room, something she hadn’t noticed when she first walked in, in fact she hadn’t noticed Allie, Alyssa or Meghan here either, but that would explain the noise.

“They’re really close? Tobin and Christen?” Alex spoke up, turning her head back to Sonnett who nodded sending a glance over to the pair.

“Oh yeah, they’re so in love with each other it’s disgustingly cute.” Emily feigned throwing up, “they won’t tell each other though, they’re both too stubborn to admit that they’re

more than friends. Aside from Ali and Ash, they’re the second most married couple on the team.” Alex agreed with Emily, she had noticed little things since she’d met the pair, in fact when she first met them they were sitting on a couch together with Christen’s legs swung over Tobin’s, Alex did at first assume they were dating.

Julie walked up to the counter and smiled, “good morning Alex, I would’ve woken you up earlier but you looked really peaceful.”

“Don’t worry, thank you for letting me sleep.” Alex replied kindly, before taking a sip of her coffee. “So what’s going on?”

“Nothing, usually some of the team will just come over and hang out, we actually don’t have anything planned for today.” Julie shrugged as she walked over to grab a cup of coffee. “Oh wait, some of our other teammates are coming back today – you can come and meet them tonight, everyone was going to hang out at Allie’s. I can’t believe I forgot that, Alyssa has literally just told me. So, Cheney’s coming back and so is ARod, there’s somebody else, I can’t remember.” Alex just let JJ talk, until the defender shrugged and turned her attention to her coffee. It was only then did Alex forget she had to call her parents, she promised she would after a couple of days to let them know she was settled in, actually she was doing it so her mom stopped worrying about her.

She excused herself before walking back into her bedroom and grabbing her phone, quickly finding her mom’s number and calling. Pam answered on the fourth ring,

“Alex, sorry, I would’ve answered earlier but I thought you were Jeri.”

Alex laughed as she shuffled back on her bed until her back was touching the wall, “I am so telling her you said that.” Alex swore she could hear her mom rolling her eyes on the other line. “I just wanted to call you, and tell you about what’s happened.”

“In the last day? You hardly called me when you were at Cal. I like this, sweetheart.” Alex shrugged in response until she realized her mom couldn’t actually see her,

“I know mom; I’m sorry I never called you that much.”

“I never said it was a bad thing Lex, I just always assumed you were off having fun.” Her mom reassures her, the cheerfulness still in her voice.

“Yeah,” Alex sighed. “Something like that.”

The call continued for another ten minutes; Alex telling her mom about meeting her teammates, how they were all really nice and insisting that Alex was comfortable around them – no matter how many times the brunette said it, her mom took way too long to accept it. Alex talked to her mom about the pickup game and she could almost feel the smile of pride on her mom’s face as she told her about the goal she scored yesterday, it was one of the best goals she’d scored for a while. It took hearing her dad call for her mom three times before Pam sighed and told Alex she would talk to her later as she had to go and help her dad to renovate the patio; Alex didn’t mind, at least they were finally renovating it after talking about it for nearly two months. Alex flicked her eyes up to her messages app and saw three messages; she knew two of them were from her best friend back at Cal and the heavy feeling returned as she guessed who the third message was from. Opening the app, she knew she was right as she read over the next message in the thread;

I felt so much for you, so much that it took me months to be able to put my feelings into words. I never wanted to hurt you, I still love you –

I still love you. They should be the four most comforting words for Alex to hear but all the forward can do is scoff as she rereads the message, twice; three times. Alex knows deep down at that the message is genuine, that they honestly mean every word that is written there but Alex is bitter, she’s never usually one for holding grudges because she’s far too kind to hate somebody for unrealistic periods of time but this was different, she was in a bad place as it was and she was definitely in an unforgiving mood that day, and the following week, even three months down the lane – she wasn’t even beginning to notion the thought of forgiving them.

I understand that. I’ve always known that but I remember what I said when I found you, I told you I hated you and for the minute I still do. – Alex

“Alex Morgan, what a wonderful morning this is.” Alex let her phone drop in her lap as she turned to the door and saw Kelley, before turning her head to look through the blinds and out of the window where it was continuing to pour down,

“Hardly wonderful,” Alex mutters in return.

Kelley walked into the room and stopped in front of Alex, placing her finger under Alex’s chin she lifted the forward’s face up so they were looking at each other, “I wasn’t talking about the weather, but seeing as you were – rain is a beautiful thing.” Kelley shrugged,

Which Alex immediately disagreed to “rain is not that great Kelley, it makes my hair all frizzy and I get really cold.”

“You’re only saying that because you’ve never experienced being in the rain with me.” An idea flashed through Kelley’s head as she took Alex’s hand in her own and before Alex could even process what was beginning to happen, Kelley was dragging a pajama clad Alex who was wearing puppy slippers through the apartment past their bewildered and questioning teammates, down the stairs at such an accelerated speed that Alex was convinced she was going to fall before Kelley pushed open the building door and dragged Alex out into the freezing cold rain, the downpour soaking through her t-shirt within a matter of seconds.

“I have no idea what you’re doing but could you have let me get dressed first?” Alex asked, wrapping her arms around herself to try and keep her body temperature from plummeting into the minuses – it was August, that was hardly going to happen but still. Kelley stood in front of Alex, watching as the forward was shivering and trying her best to send a heated glare in her direction.

Kelley unzipped her jacket and took it off before stepping closer and wrapping it around Alex’s shoulders as the forward put her arms in,

“Thank you,” she mumbled softly as Kelley held out her hand.

“You’re gonna love the rain Alex Morgan, I promise you that.” Alex was completely unconvinced.

Alex hadn’t liked the rain in the twenty years she’d been alive and she was sure she wasn’t going to like it now, but the confident expression never left Kelley’s face as she kept her hand stuck out anticipating Alex to take it, she did. They walked hand in hand down the road, Kelley with a look of determination on her face as they turned a corner and reached an open space, soaking wet grass shaded by a number of trees lined up together around the side of the area. Alex remembers driving past here when she first arrived, it was sunnier then and there were a load of students lying and laughing with their friends, it looks a little depressing now if she was being honest.

“Let’s go Alex Morgan.” Kelley ran ahead pulling Alex behind her as they ran onto the grass, Alex instantly cringing at the way her slippers squelched in the wet grass, the material doing nothing to protect her feet from the horrendous weather. Kelley stopped in the middle and turned around; taking Alex’s other hand in her own as she narrowed her eyes,

“What do you actually have planned, and should I be worried?”

“What do you seriously think I’m going to do?” Kelley asked, laughing as she spoke. Alex raised her eyebrows and Kelley nodded. “Yeah, you probably shouldn’t answer that.” Alex looked up at the clouded sky, it looked menacing in the sense that she was going to come back to haunt Kelley’s dreams if she died from a lightning strike whilst they were out here, Jeni’s right, Alex is overdramatic. “Just look at it Alex, it’s beautiful.”

“It’s rain.” The forward deadpanned. “It’s cold, wet and makes me want to go back to bed.” Alex noticed her words didn’t do anything to deter Kelley’s facial expression or the way that she was staring up at the sky with a lazy smile on her face.

“If you’re too cold, we can go back?” Kelley suggested, her eyes still not meeting Alex’s. Alex sighed, the rain wasn’t so bad, she was still pissed off and wet but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

“I suppose I can stick around for a while.” Alex shrugged, Kelley smirked knowing she’d won this round as she led Alex over to a bench that had been for the most part been shielded by the trees. The pair sat down, Alex sat sideways and cross-legged with Kelley sat beside her normally, they were sat in silence for a minute, the rain hitting Kelley’s arms and Alex’s legs as Alex pulled Kelley’s jacket further around her, the distinct scent of peppermint was still there, and it was intoxicating although Alex will forever insist spearmint is better. “So, you like the rain, why?” Alex asks, the laughter from Kelley is melodic as the defender looks to her forward.

“I grew up in Georgia, it rains a lot, and I was never a kid for staying inside until it stopped. Sure, I got sick a lot from ignoring my mom when she told me to come inside but I was imaginative – I once pretended I was a soldier battling in un-ideal conditions, I set up an obstacle course in the garden and played out for hours to save the country I love.” Kelley explaining looking over to Alex who was struggling to stifle her laugh, “Don’t laugh,”

“I was admiring the creativeness,” Alex protested to which Kelley nodded.

“Of course you did Alex Morgan.” Kelley added in mock agreement. The pair resorted to their comfortable silence again, the rain was slowly beginning to let up as the first signs of the sun were visible beneath the clouds.

“I’m sorry I dragged you out, you can blame me when you’re sick for the next week.” Kelley turned to face Alex who was still slightly shivering; her hair sticking to the sides of her face, Alex shook her head.

“I may’ve overreacted, there are worse things I could be doing than sitting in the rain with you.”

“Remember that when you’re sick in bed with a horrible cold.” Kelley chuckles.

“You’re in the rain too, you’re gonna get sick.” Alex retaliated to which Kelley scoffed,

“No I won’t Alex. I’m immune to illness, I’m immune to everything this world has to offer!” She gestured wildly as Alex rolled her eyes and muttered out,

“So I’ve heard,”

It took Kelley all of three minutes for an idea to spring to her mind and for her to grab Alex’s hands from her lap and pull the forward up and start running around the field like a dog, zipping in and out of trees and jumping on the strategically placed benches until Kelley slipped on a particularly wet piece of grass and fall over, bringing Alex down with her, the forward landing on top of the defender with a thump and a loud groan of pain escaping Kelley’s already parted lips. Alex rolled onto her back and tilted her head to look at Kelley who had her head resting on her hand as she looked Alex up and down, again not as subtly as she wanted to, wait; Kelley’s never been subtle about anything in her life.

“You’re just full of bad ideas aren’t you?” Alex’s voice was laced with a thick sense of fondness, a tone she didn’t even realize she could still talk in. “Now I’m definitely going to get a cold,” Alex whined, pushing herself off the grass she held her hand out for Kelley who took it and also stood up. “Can we go back now?” Alex asked, Kelley nodded but didn’t let her hand go as the pair walked back to the apartment, inside and up the stairs in silence; the mud was covering both of their shirts, Kelley’s jeans and Alex’s legs. Alex pushed open the apartment door and walked in, all eyes falling on the pair of them as confused looks were shared.

“Someone had a good time,” Tobin commented smirking at Kelley first and Alex second. “That’s quick even for you Kell-” Tobin wasn’t given a chance to finish as Christen hit her in the stomach, causing her to cough before immediately shutting up under the intense stare of the raven haired girl. Alex blushed as she ducked her head, easily embarrassed by the comment as she hurried off towards her room; she grabbed some clothes out of her closet and laid them on the bed as she heard footsteps behind her.

“Alex, are you ok?” Kelley asked placing her hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“I’m fine.” Alex’s answer was short, but she wasn’t mad.

“Tobin didn’t mean it you know? She’s just got no sense of boundaries, don’t believe what she said.” Kelley’s voice for once was laced with something other than unprecedented confidence, and it was something that Alex couldn’t quite put her finger on. Alex spun around, her breath getting caught in her throat as she found Kelley closer to her than she expected, she shook it off though.

“I’m not bothered by what Tobin said, I know she was joking.”

“What’s up then?” Kelley asked, her hand curling around Alex’s wrist gently causing the forward to tense under the touch. “Are you sick? Did I do something?” Alex hated the sound of insecurity in Kelley’s voice and forced herself to calm down before smiling at Kelley,

“I’m fine, honestly, I’m just really cold.” Alex’s voice was as confident as she could make it, Kelley didn’t look like she believed her but let it drop. “You need to change, you’re gonna get sick Kelley.” Alex moved past the defender and walked to the closet, she started looking for some clothes.

“No Cal stuff Morgan. I’m not a traitor like you.” Kelley deadpanned; Alex looked over her shoulder and wiggled her eyebrows. She pulled out a pair of black joggers and an old Vancouver t-shirt from a vacation her family took when she was fifteen, the shirt was three sizes too big for her but it was the nicest one she’d seen, red with the Vancouver skyline in the background. Kelley caught the clothes and raised her left eyebrow at the t-shirt. “Canada?”

Alex hummed, “yeah, you didn’t want to be a college traitor so be a country one instead.” Alex grinned playfully as she grabbed her own stuff and headed into the bathroom to get changed into something warm and dry. She changed into her fresh set of clothes and was walking out of the bathroom whilst tying her still damp hair up into a bun using the black hair tie on her wrist; she walked into Kelley who was walking out of room.

“Your clothes are really comfortable,” Kelley commented, to which Alex nodded as the pair walked into the living room where the majority of their teammates were still congregated. Alex sat at the end of one of the couches, beside Alyssa as Kelley made herself comfortable on the floor between Alex’s legs, her head leaning back against the edge of the couch.

“Has Cheney’s flight got in yet? Or ARod’s?” Kelley asked Tobin who shook her head,

“Nah, they’re not getting here for a couple of hours.”

“What about Mewy? I’m surprised that Sonnett has coped this long without her.” Kelley directed a glance over to Emily Sonnett who glanced up from her IPad that she was playing on with Morgan, once Emily realized what had been said she narrowed her eyes at Kelley.

“I do not spend my whole life waiting around for Sam.”

“No, just the majority of it.” Tobin laughed, everyone finding Sonnett’s obsession with Sam Mewis amusing.

~

Tobin and Christen left an hour later with the intention to rush to the airport to meet Cheney and ARod, or in other words Tobin begged Christen to take her to the airport so she could be reunited with her best friends and because Christen adores the idiotic midfielder, she couldn’t say no. Allie and Meghan left with Alyssa twenty-five minutes after Tobin and Christen left, Allie wanting to tidy her house before everyone came around that evening. Syd had gone to go and nap, Julie was doing the dishes, Emily and Morgan were squished together on the armchair despite having the choice of two couches to sit on, Emily and Morgan had ‘Say Yes To The Dress’ on and offered up quite possibly the worst commentary, they didn’t hold back either, Alex had never realized just how opinionated the two Georgia natives were. Kelley was still sitting on the floor, but her head was leaning against Alex’s leg as the defender struggled to stay awake, her phone in her hand, slowly beginning to slip and Alex was just anticipating the moment it hit the rug. Her own phone buzzed on the arm of the couch, she looked down and read the reply in the thread.

You know I don’t blame you for hating me? I know if I did what I did to you, I would hate you so much. I just know you Alex; you’re not the type of person who can stay mad about this forever. Was I the reason you left Cal? If I was, I want to apologize again, I’m sorry. –

Was I the reason you left Cal? Partly,

Alex wouldn’t say that the reason for her downing a whiskey sour as she sat on her bed in her empty room with tears threatening to spill as her fingers hovered over her laptop was entirely their fault, a lot of things had happened during junior year alone that had Alex minutes away from dropping out.

You weren’t my only reasons for leaving, for a long time; you were my only reason to stay. – Alex

Alex knew she shouldn’t be opening up like that again, not to them, they don’t deserve it but the pain in her chest still elicits a slither of love from time to time, of course it does. Alex was completely and utterly head over heels for them.

“Alex?” Kelley’s sleepy voice allowed the forward to flick her eyes down, “you look sad, you alright?” Alex nodded in response to the question but her eyes were fixated on her phone as she debated deleting the message before they saw it, god knows it takes them ages to read their messages anyway. Kelley sat on the couch beside Alex, reaching over and swiping her phone before Alex could grab it.

“What are you doing?” Alex questioned as Kelley placed hers and Alex’s phone on the table, she turned to Alex and explained –

“Whatever is on your phone is obviously putting you into a bad mood and it’s not good for you.” Alex was going to argue but sighed when she realized she didn’t care as much as she thought she did. Julie walked into the room, her jacket on her arm.

“Hey, I’m going to see Zach for a little while, don’t worry I’ll be back before we head off to Allie’s.” Julie announced

“Have fun JJ,” Kelley laughed, wiggling her eyebrows for effect as Julie rolled her eyes at her defensive partner.

“Shut up Kelley.”

Julie left and Alex noticed that Morgan and Emily had fallen asleep, Morgan was lying so awkwardly that whilst she was sleeping had Emily in a headlock, an action that the defender didn’t seem to mind or at least hadn’t noticed from within her slumber. “Brian and Sonnett – the life of the party,” Kelley’s voice was muffled from the way she was leaning against Alex’s shoulder. “Can we watch a movie?” Kelley asked pulling back and stretching her arms above her head,

“Sure, what do you want to watch?” Alex asked, ignoring the wide smile that appeared on Kelley’s face.

“The best Disney princess movie of all time – TANGLED” she yelled before Alex quickly shushed her, nodding towards Emily and Morgan who stirred but didn’t wake up.

“Ok two things; one, let’s watch it in my room and second – Tangled is not the best Disney princess movie, it’s obviously Beauty and the Beast.” Alex said getting up, Kelley quickly following as she disagreed with Alex.

“No, Tangled has amazing songs, Pascal is literally a girl’s best friend, Rapunzel is such a pretty princess and she hits Flynn with a frying pan – OH AND FLYNN IS SO SARCASTIC.”

“Beauty and the Beast is a story about acceptance, being yourself no matter how oddly you may appear to everyone else, it’s allowing yourself to fall in love with the person, glancing past their looks to find what’s inside – because that’s why you fall in love, everything else is only a bonus.” Alex sighed as she walked into her room and ducked down by the end of her bed to retrieve her laptop, “but I suppose I can be up for watching Rapunzel hit Flynn with a frying pan.” Alex smiled cementing Kelley’s victory in this particular round as Alex climbed into her bed, putting her laptop down and turning it on before finding Tangled. Kelley slid into the bed beside Alex, shuffling down until she was lying down with the comforter brought up to her chin. Alex felt her cheeks flush with color as she readied Tangled, she sat back before hitting play and their attention turned to the laptop as the movie began. Alex was secretly enjoying Tangled a lot more than she cared to admit; she did love the sarcastic nature of Flynn and could pinpoint similarities in his personality and Kelley’s. She laughed and turned to look at Kelley who hadn’t made any sort of sound in ten minutes, Alex chuckled softly when she saw Kelley asleep, hair in her face and lips parted, soft snores escaping her lips. She looked peaceful; Alex paused the movie and closed her laptop before carefully leaning over Kelley to place her laptop on the bedside table. A nap wouldn’t be such a bad idea and shuffling down further, Alex wrapped herself in the comforter and fell asleep, her head on Kelley’s shoulder seeing as the defender was lying on most of her pillows.

“You go and see what they’re doing,” Syd interjected whilst pointing at Emily,

“Why?” Sonnett whined, “They could be having sex.” Syd and Morgan snorted in response,

“Yeah, says the Queen of being caught – it’s nothing you’ve never seen before.” Morgan stuck her tongue out childishly leading Emily to offer up a wide selection of curse words as she sauntered off down the hall towards Alex’s room. Emily stopped outside the door and lifted her hand to knock but stopped and instead took hold of the door handle, closed her eyes and mumbled out.

“Please just be sleeping.” Emily pushed the door open and sighed in relief when she saw the pair of them asleep. Walking closer, Sonnett did debate whether she should just nudge their shoulders or softly say their names but that’s not who Emily is and so the defender leapt onto the bed, landing on the pair who jolted upright, breathing uneven and wide eyed as they stared at Emily whilst trying to get their bearings.

“What the fuck Sonnett?” Kelley asked, scowling at the blonde who shrugged in response, a smile threatening to form as she glanced between both girls.

“Wake up; we’re heading to Allie’s soon.”

“Fine,” Kelley muttered, “get out.”

Emily placed her palm flat against the right side of her chest, “I am offended you don’t want me to stay O’Hara.”

“Your heart is on the other side dumbass,” Kelley rolled her eyes poking the general area in which Emily’s heart was, that didn’t seem to knock the smile off the defender’s face though, clearly finding the situation amusing, or maybe she was just a goofball – scientists haven’t figured it out yet. Finally, after struggling to pull Emily off the bed, the blonde conceded and left but not before reminding them they had ten minutes to get ready before they had to leave. Kelley was stood in the middle of room, her hair disheveled as she chewed on her thumb nail whilst formulating something to say to ease the budding awkwardness between the pair. Alex, who hadn’t yet moved from her bed chose to pick at the loose threads of her comforter, now whilst sleeping in the same bed is something that Alex is accustomed to doing a lot with friends, there was something about the situation that made her feel uneasy? That’s the wrong word, maybe confused?

“Thanks for letting me sleep; I didn’t really get a lot of it last night.” Kelley finally spoke up, scratching the back of her neck nervously.

“I didn’t really have a choice,” Alex laughed. “You were asleep long before I’d noticed.” Kelley turned and smiled at Alex, the tension beginning to thin out as Alex hauled herself out of bed, “so do I need to get dressed for Allie?” Alex asked not really wanting to change out of her comfortable clothes.

“Nah, it’s just hanging out, everyone will be dressed comfortably.” Kelley replied, Alex nodded as she rubbed her arms feeling goosebumps appear, her room wasn’t cold though. She tried to think less of it as she followed Kelley out of her room and to the kitchen.

“They’re alive, come on kids – JJ’s meeting us there.” Syd announced shoving the pair towards the door as the gang left to go downstairs, but not before Alex ran back to grab hers and Kelley’s shoes – she wasn’t making that mistake twice. The walk to Allie’s house was mainly showcasing what kind of immature arguments Emily and Morgan get into, whilst adding into the mix the possibility that alien life does in fact exist. Alex and Kelley’s arms brushed against each others as they walked, they could hear music coming from the house as they approached, it wasn’t as loud as the first night but it was still loud enough.

Walking through the house; Alex stopped by the door as a tall girl approached Emily to which the defender latched onto her in a massive bear hug, “MEWY”

“Jeez Sonnett, I’m right beside you.” Sam laughed forcing Emily to stand up; Emily blushed as she mumbled out a feeble apology before turning to Alex and allowing the glint of energy to return to her eyes.

“Alex this is my best friend, Sam Mewis, Mewy, the giraffe of the team-”

“I’m not a giraffe.” Sam huffed out;

Emily winked “you keep telling yourself that Mewy.” Alex didn’t even get a chance to talk before Emily was dragging Sam away, the midfielder looking over her shoulder apologetically but Alex shrugged, she didn’t mind – they had a whole year together to get to know each other. She looked around the downstairs of the house, spotting Tobin standing with two girls she didn’t recognize – they must be Cheney and ARod and so Alex approached them, Tobin noticing her and waving her over. Once Alex approached, Tobin introduced her to Lauren Cheney and Amy Rodriguez, who admittedly were two of the nicest girls Alex thinks she’s ever met and it was obvious that the bond the two of them shared with Tobin was something special. Alex stayed to talk to the three of them for a little while before Christen walked into view and Tobin quickly excused herself, to which Cheney rolled her eyes as ARod mumbled out about how much Tobin was in love with the forward. Alex walked through the house some more, she offered up simple greetings to her teammates, she wasn’t exactly sure what she was doing but once she heard the bubbly laughter that belonged to Kelley, she found her body pulling her towards the backyard where Kelley was taking great pleasure in making Meghan, Ali and Ash laugh with whatever she was saying. Alex stayed by the door, not wanting to pull Kelley away from her conversation but on the other hand still finding herself wanting to be reasonably close to the defender.

“GUYS, COME ON WE’RE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE.” Allie’s unmistakable voice could be heard from inside, bringing the attention of the team to her. The team didn’t seem to argue and instead all made their way into the living room, Ali and Ashlyn greeted Alex as they walked past, Kling doing the same. Kelley walked over to Alex,

“What movie is it?” Alex asked, even though it felt like a stupid question to her.

Kelley pretended to think for a moment, “If I know Allie as well as I think I do it’s either going to be She’s The Man or a horror movie,” Alex froze up, she despises horror movies, Kelley noticed the change in Alex’s expression. “If it’s a horror movie, don’t worry I’ll protect you.” Kelley took Alex’s hand and pulled the other girl into the living room running and falling in the beanbag chair whilst also pulling Alex down so that she was essentially sitting on Kelley’s lap. Alex blushed, closing her eyes to avoid looking at anybody but when she heard the first notes of the credits to The Conjuring,

Alex’s hand fumbled around to find Kelley’s, eyes screwed shut now. “I don’t like this.”

“I told you, I’ve got you.”

Sure, Alex spent the entire movie with her hand covering her eyes, squealing and chewing on her bottom lip to the point where she thought it was going to bleed, but Kelley stayed true to her word, holding Alex and warning her when a particular scary moment was approaching, having watched this movie an unhealthy number of times before and in that one moment, Alex Morgan couldn’t have been more grateful for Kelley O’Hara.


	4. I Study Pretty Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANY GUESSES WHO THE MYSTERY PERSON FROM ALEX'S PAST IS? LEAVE GUESSES DOWN BELOW BECAUSE YOU MIGHT FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 5

The next week and a half flew by in a whirlwind; from team bonding days that in all honesty caused more problems than they were worth – a tip, never take Meghan Klingenberg bowling. Alex finally got to experience what is was like to have a proper Stanford training session – which admittedly were so much tougher than what she had been used to but she found herself enjoying her soccer again; she met the last few members of the team including longtime captain Becky who epitomized everything that a captain should be. She psyched herself up for her classes, pulling out her books and spending her lazy evenings reading over various chapters to try and refresh her mind before classes officially started again. Alex found herself fitting in with her roommates more than she ever thought she would; Alex and Syd found themselves waking up the earlier of the four and would often spend an hour and a half in the gym before going to grab some coffee and Alex allowing Syd to inform Alex on all the ridiculous situations that some of their teammates had found themselves in over the years – apparently if you give Morgan and Emily any flavor of Schnapps they suddenly find themselves thinking their immune to the law – hence the November holding cell incident of sophomore year, Alex doesn’t think she’s laughed so much and she can only imagine what kind of chaos her senior year is going to bring based on her new friend’s previous history. Julie and Alex loved going for drives, driving was one of the many things that calmed Julie down as she explained to Alex the first time they found themselves heading down the coast, JJ explained that when she’s stressed or in a bad mood she just has to hop into her car and spend the next couple of hours allowing herself to think things over carefully in the presence of some beautiful scenery. With Morgan, Alex and the midfielder find themselves waking up at ungodly hours and trudging sleepily into the living room together to watch soccer games, Morgan used to do it with Syd but the striker eventually realized she valued her sleep over watching soccer games she could probably catch up on after the first signs of daylight have hit but Morgan prefers to watch them live and Alex doesn’t mind waking up early that much. Alex woke up on the Friday morning with the intention to spend the day getting ready for classes to start on Monday, having decided she wanted her weekend to relax, sitting up, Alex looked around the room, it was pitch black despite it being nearly 9:45 AM, Julie was still asleep in the bed bedside her, her left arm and leg hanging out from under her own covers with her hair sprawled out in all directions, as quietly as she could as to not to disturb the blonde, Alex swiped her phone from the bedside table and left the room, carefully closing the door over. Alex walked through the apartment, into the kitchen and pulled a mug down from the shelf and started to make herself some coffee, all the while Alex was still trying to rub the sleep from her eyes as she leant against the counter in her still sleep ridden state. Arms wrapped around her waist from behind causing the forward to jump and scream out in unfeigned fear, spinning around and coming face to face with

 

“You scared the shit out of me Kelley.” Alex scolded, still feeling her bottom lip quiver at how fast her heart was beating. “What the hell are you even doing here?”

 

“I left my keys here last night and I went for a run before and everyone was still asleep when I got back and realized I didn’t have them,” As Kelley explained, Alex found herself noticing the sweat dripping down Kelley’s forehead and her earphones hooked around her neck.

 

“Right,” Alex started to feel her heartbeat return to reasonably normal pace. “How did you even get in here?” She asked, wondering whether Morgan forgot to lock the door last night,

 

“You have a dodgy lock on that window,” Kelley pointed in the general direction of the window overlooking the fire escape, “it was easy to jostle and open.” Alex narrowed her eyes at the window, “I didn’t mean to scare you,”

 

“You didn’t scare me.” Alex protested turning around to avoid Kelley seeing the blush rising on her cheeks.

 

“Sure I didn’t Alex Morgan; you just scream because it’s fun, right?” Alex tried to ignore Kelley as she continued to make her coffee, “can you make me one?” Kelley asked, moving so her chin was resting against Alex’s bare shoulder.

 

"Yeah, sure." Alex sighs 

 

“Thanks babe,” Kelley kissed Alex’s cheek before turning and heading down the hall, and Alex was grateful that she did so Kelley didn’t see the heat rising to her cheeks or the way her left hand absentmindedly moved to rest against the spot where her lips had just been. Hearing footsteps, Alex quickly turned her attention back to the two coffees she was making, she had just finished them when Kelley appeared at her side and took one, Alex smirked at the mug in Kelley’s hand as the defender walked into the living room and made herself comfortable on the couch, Alex walked in and sat at the other end, crossing her legs and still sending a smirk in Kelley’s direction.

 

“What?” She finally asked, narrowing her eyes at the forward who took a sip of coffee for effect, Alex didn’t reply though forcing Kelley to look down and once she realized what Alex was looking at, she rolled her eyes.

 

“Really funny Alex,” the forward shrugged and smiled at the Cal mug in Kelley’s hands, “how much Cal stuff do you actually own?”

 

“That’s not mine.” Alex laughed, “When my parents took me to Cal in high school I had my sights set on going there and so my parents spent so much money buying a load of stuff, my dad actually bought the mug – I just brought it here with me.”

 

“What did your parents say when you told them you wanted to leave?” Kelley asked, curious about how Alex could just up and leave to a new college just before the biggest year of their lives. Alex fell quiet for a moment, leaning over to put her mug on the table,

 

“They weren’t happy.” Alex spoke up, choosing not to look at Kelley and instead let her fingers tug at the bottom of her t-shirt, “I mean, I went home for Christmas last year and on Christmas Eve no less, I finally gathered up the courage to announce over dinner in front of my parents, sisters and Grandparents that I wanted to leave Cal and go somewhere else – you have no idea how close I came to ruining Christmas.”

 

“Did they yell at you?” Kelley asked, Alex shrugged

 

“Sort of, my dad’s voice was raised but he usually raises his voice when he’s surprised so I couldn’t tell if he was shouting at me or not, my mom just sat at the table looking between me and my dad – I looked at Jeri and literally tried to beg her with my eyes to get me out of this, she was the only one I told about not being happy at Cal – she didn’t exactly understand because I didn’t tell her everything that was going on but she was the one who persuaded me to tell mom and dad before Christmas.” Alex brought her knees up to her chest as she hooked her arms around them, choosing to look at the TV at the front of the room. “Dinner ended pretty early, everyone was inside so I went outside, I have a tree house in the garden that I’ve had since I was seven, I was up there for about an hour when Jeni and Jeri climbed up and sat with me, I just remember crying and telling them everything that had happened – once they knew everything they understood why I wanted to leave.” Alex stopped talking again, sighing and dragging a hand through her hair. Kelley was desperate to know what had happened, what god-awful thing had happened to Alex to leave her with no choice but to leave but she forced herself to not ask, Alex was slowly beginning to open up – she could wait until Alex was ready to tell her. “They helped me explain to our parents why I wanted to leave and why it was important I did, they didn’t tell them everything that had happened but they slowly started to accept it and in the end it was more a case of ‘if you’re happy we’re happy’.”

 

“Did you always know that you wanted to come to Stanford once you left?” Kelley asks, cocking her left eyebrow.

 

“I knew I wanted to stay in California, so yeah, I guess I knew.” Alex finally looked over to Kelley; a smile was breaking out on the freckled girl’s face.

 

Kelley teases, “You made the right decision; you just made it three years too late.”

 

Alex rolled her eyes but inside, she found herself once again agreeing with something Kelley O’Hara said. The distant sound of whining that it was far too early to be awake could be heard as Morgan and Syd sleepily stumbled into the kitchen, making sloth-like movements towards the coffee because Sydney Leroux and Morgan Brian cannot function at all without coffee, ok, they can’t exactly function with it but that’s another issue. Morgan reached the living room first, throwing herself down in the armchair sideways and swinging her legs over the side, only for Syd to walk in and push them out of the way causing Moe to stumble as Syd sauntered past, a smug grin on her face as she took up home on the couch by the wall – how no coffee was spilt in that passage of movement is surprising.

 

“So children, what are we doing today?” Morgan asked, feeling a little more awake now.

 

“I heard Mewy and Sonnett were planning a day without you, I suggest you crash it.” Kelley replied, Morgan gasped well tried to, she had a mouthful of coffee and ended up coughing and spluttering and ending up spitting it over her bare legs. “Smooth Moe, really smooth.” Whilst ignoring Kelley, Morgan left the coffee for a minute and focused on what she’d just heard,

 

“Who told you they were avoiding me? Not that I care.” Moe shrugged, trying and failing to play off her hurt.

 

“I just heard it, can’t remember who from.” Morgan nodded at the response, she claimed to not care but from the scowl on her face she definitely cared that her best friends were abandoning her, after heading to the bathroom to clean up the coffee,

 

Alex and Syd turned to Kelley, “You were kidding right?”

 

“No, Emily’s just missed Sam a lot and wanted a day alone with her.”

 

“You couldn’t have lied to soften the blow?” Alex questioned, Kelley shook her head

 

. “That’s not my style Alex Morgan.” Alex nodded and looked down at her lap before mumbling out quietly “good to know.”

 

Syd turned the TV on, flicking through the channels as she and Kelley struggled to decide what to watch, “what about The Bachelor?” Syd suggested whilst Kelley rolled her eyes,

 

“Syd that show is full of conceited girls who’d do anything to go on TV.”

 

“Kell, you’re the worst person to watch TV with, you’re worse than Allie and she’s really bad.”

 

Alex zoned out of the conversation and was instead sat swapping between different apps, bored out of her mind, there’s only so many times you can look through the same photographs of puppies until you admit you’re not actually going to get one. A notification appeared at the top of the screen and Alex immediately opened her messages to read the next one,

 

I was the reason to stay? What changed your mind and why did you never tell me? –

 

Alex sighed and tapped out three replies, hating each one of them, the first sounded too desperate, the second sounded too bitter even though she still was and the third just didn’t make any sense. She eventually settled on her fourth, after rewording it twice.

 

How was I supposed to ask you to tell me to stay when I could barely look you in the eye? The only reason I changed my mind is because I mixed common sense with my last shred of dignity. – Alex

 

JJ walked into the living room, stopping at the couch and leaning over the back of it inbetween Alex and Kelley. “Why can I hear Moe in the bathroom crying about how sticky her legs are and also wishing that Mewy was still in Boston?”

 

“Captain Kindness over there told Moe that Emily and Sam were spending the day together without her and she spat out her coffee over herself,” Syd told the defender, her eyes staying glued to the TV.

 

“Captain Kindness?” Kelley raised her eyebrows. “I’ve been called Captain in a lot of situations, never Captain Kindness though.” Kelley wiggled her eyebrows at JJ causing the defender to roll her eyes and playfully punch the freckled girl’s shoulder.

 

“You’re gross Kell,” JJ laughed, “I second it!” Syd held her hand up,

 

“You weren’t even paying attention Sydney.” Kelley sighed exasperatedly. Syd turned around, “I didn’t have to look to know what you meant Kelley.” Morgan walked back into the room, dressed for the day but still sporting a pout, “I text Sonnett – you’re such a liar Kell.”

 

“I know but I never said I was telling the truth, you just assumed. So, you gonna go and meet them?”

 

“I am now; Emily thinks it’s really funny how gullible I am.”

“Well yeah, you’re the best person to trick, I could literally tell you that Thiago Alcântara was being traded to LA Galaxy and you’d believe me.”

 

“IS HE?”

 

“My point exactly,” Kelley smirked as Morgan’s shoulders dropped, “Ok, ok, maybe I am gullible but you – you suck Kell.” Kelley nodded and faked wiping tears from her cheeks. “I’m hurt Moe, genuinely hurt.” Morgan flipped her off before telling the rest of the girls she’d catch them later and leaving. Julie took up house on the armchair, after making sure no coffee had been spilt, “So, what are you two planning on doing today, apart from watching TV?”

 

“I think I’m going to head to the library for a couple of hours, I could do with making sure I’m ready for classes on Monday.” Alex answered, feeling a little bit like a nerd. “We literally have Heather 2.0, this is incredible.” JJ laughed, “She was always studying in her spare time, she’s really intelligent and it took us ages to figure out why, but have fun studying – Syd what’cha planning on doing today?”

 

“Avoiding the fact I have two days of freedom left before classes,” Julie nodded “so basically the opposite of Alex.”

 

“You got it JJ.” Syd gave Julie a thumbs up despite not having her eyes leave the TV, too engrossed in The Bachelor to miss even a second. “What’re you doing Kell?” Julie asked, the freckled girl looked at Alex before replying, “I’m gonna head to the library too, I need to stop slacking off; especially this year.” Both Syd and JJ turned to look at Kelley in complete disbelief,

 

“Kell, do you even know where the library is?”

 

“Have you ever stepped foot into the library?”

 

Kelley rolled her eyes as she settled back further into the couch, “yes I do know where the library is genius and I have gone to the library, I might’ve been lost but I’ve still stepped foot in there.” Kelley turned to Alex, “So Alex Morgan, can I come to the library with you?” Alex wasted no time in telling her she could, happier at the prospect of not spending a few hours in the library alone and bored. Kelley left ten minutes later with the promise that she would meet Alex at the library in an hour; Alex was staring down at her phone, the sound of it having stopped her from heading to the bathroom to go and get dressed.

 

You didn’t have to look me in the eye, I wanted you to stay, and I just realized it too late. If I could turn back time I would’ve yelled it from the rooftops. –

 

They wanted her to stay, a heavy feeling hit the pit of Alex’s stomach as she tightened her grip on her phone. “It’s not worth it,” she muttered locking her phone and throwing it on her bed without even of entertaining the notion of replying to it.

 

~

 

Alex made sure she had her books and her notebook ready, as well as the fluffy Belle pen her sister bought her from Disneyland last year, she’s obsessed with Beauty and the Beast, ok? Cool. After getting showered and dressed, Alex pulled her hair back into a ponytail and brushed her teeth before walking back into her room, slipping her phone into her pocket, she grabbed her books, her arm instantly beginning to ache at the weight of the textbook, already starting to regret wanting to study, Alex walked through the apartment waving bye to JJ and Syd who were now both enthralled in the next episode of The Bachelor. Alex rolled her eyes, smiling as she headed down the stairs; once she was outside the building she looked around, racking her brain for where the library was, she knew it was a five minute walk or so? She headed left before turning around and heading right once she realized she was walking in the wrong direction. Once she arrived at the library, Kelley was leant against the wall waiting for her,

 

“Hey Alex Morgan,” Kelley grinned pushing herself off the wall and walking towards Alex, “hey Kell.” The forward smiled following Kelley into the library, it was empty aside from what looked like three people, there may’ve been more upstairs but hey, at least it would be quiet. The pair walked to a table and sat down, Alex spread her books out across the table when she noticed Kelley sitting back on the chair and her legs on the table, “I thought you were studying?” Alex asked, narrowing her eyes at the defender. “I am studying Alex,” Kelley stated matter-of-factly.

 

“Are you doing it telepathically?” Alex asked, trying not to sound sarcastic. Kelley smirked, “also what do you study?” Alex asked, realizing she didn’t have a clue. Leaning forward, Kelley moved until her face was inches from Alex’s,

 

“I study pretty girls.” Kelley spoke with the upmost confidence, seemingly enjoying Alex squirm under her gaze. “That’s not a major Kelley,” as soon as she said the words Alex wanted to climb under a rock, it was obvious what Kelley was trying to do and Alex responded with probably the stupidest thing she’s said in a while. Kelley moved back, reverting to her previous position as she offered Alex a shit-eating grin. “Since you’re so curious, I’m a science major, with a little bit of technology thrown in.”

 

“Isn’t science hard though? I sucked at it in school.”

 

“I love science, I used to pull wild experiments when I was a kid – I nearly burnt the house down a few times.” Kelley leant forward again and picked one of Alex’s books up, “and how can you say my majors hard when you’re studying political economy? That’s like a whole different language to me. Are you a genius Alex?”

 

“I wish,” Alex laughs feeling calmer as she reaches for the book but Kelley’s too quick and moves her hand away, accidentally smacking herself in the chest with the 400 page book, wincing as the impact of the book hit her. “Can I have my book back?” She asks but Kelley shakes her head, “Nope, if you study you’ll be ignoring me and I am not about to let that happen.”

 

“Come on Kell, I really need to study.” Kelley didn’t budge though and placed the book on the empty seat beside her. “Cats or dogs?” Kelley asked, Alex looked at her confused. “What?” Alex asked,

 

“Cats or dogs, which do you prefer?”

 

“You’ve known me for two weeks and now you want to play 20 questions?” Alex retaliated, Kelley just raised her eyebrows causing Alex to sigh and answer anyway “dogs,”

 

“Good; Barcelona or Real Madrid?”

 

“Barcelona, are you mad?” Alex asked, feeling a strong love towards the Catalonian team. “I was just checking, that could’ve been the question that destroyed our friendship.”

 

“Since when were we friends?” Alex questioned, feeling more confident in herself and pushing her books to the side. “Since you said you didn’t mind sitting in the rain with me, even though you hate the most beautiful thing this planet has to offer.”

 

“Rain is not the most beautiful thing, but yeah, I suppose that’s when I realized we were friends too.”

 

The morning continued on the same way, questions being thrown at the other – some serious, others ridiculous such as; if I turned into a zombie, would you let me eat you? One guess to who asked that one. Alex had to bite her lip to avoid laughing as Kelley was told to be quiet otherwise she’d be thrown out by a middle-aged woman dressed like she was stuck in the 60’s, looking oddly familiar to Miss Trunchbull. The clock hit 12 PM, Alex hadn’t studied, her books long forgotten about as she found more of an interest in getting to know more about Kelley O’Hara. “Whoa, we’ve been here for nearly two hours. I’m hungry; can we go and get food?” Kelley whined, letting her head fall on the table as she bat her eyelashes at Alex. “Sure, where’d you wanna go?”

 

“I have an idea, let’s go, it’s a bit of a drive though?” Kelley was unsure, Alex nodded gathering up her books, including the one that Kelley purposely wouldn’t return to her. “That’s fine; it gives me more time with you.”

 

“Oh Alex Morgan, you’re going to make me blush.” Kelley fanned her face, “shut up” Alex groaned pushing the defender towards the exit. They walk in relative silence; their arms bumping as they walked towards Kelley’s apartment building to retrieve her car, as they approached the building, Kelley walked ahead and stopped at a black Civic. “This is your car?” Alex asked surprise evident in her tone, the car making her feel intimidated. Kelley unlocked the car and stood with the driver side door open, looking over the top of the car at Alex. “Are you going to stay there all day?”

 

“I’m coming,” Alex hurried to the car and got in putting her books on the back seat. She put her seatbelt on and asked the next question, “How did you get this car?” Alex looked around in awe; the car looked practically brand new. Kelley turned to the forward whilst reaching to grab her shades. “I’ll tell you the story one day.” Kelley replied, a flash of hurt? Anger? In her eyes but Alex couldn’t be sure because as soon as Kelley had said it she had her shades on and turned on the ignition. Kelley turned the radio on, a selection of Whitney Houston songs beginning to play leading Alex to tilt her head to look at Kelley who was tapping her hand against the steering wheel as she mouthed the words to How Will I Know. “You’re just full of surprises.” Alex laughed; Kelley stopped at the lights and tipped her glasses forward so that she was looking directly at Alex. “Don’t pretend you don’t love it.”

 

“I mean, I could use some new blackmail material.” Alex teased, Kelley already had her response, “there is no problem with loving Whitney, she was a goddess.” Kelley turned her head and started to drive again leaving Alex shaking her head fondly, a goofy grin on her face. They’d been driving for half an hour when Kelley pulled up outside a diner, “this place is so good; Tobin and I stumbled upon it like a year ago, we never told the team about it – the only other people that know are Press and Lyss and now you.” Kelley turned to Alex and smirked, “let’s go.” Kelley killed the engine before getting out of the car with Alex quickly following suit, both walked into the diner.

 

“Yo Kelley!” Alex watched as Kelley approached a waiter, “Matthew, dude it’s so good to see you again.”

 

“No Tobin this time?” Matthew asked, looking past Kelley at Alex who was shifting her weight from foot to foot. “Not this time, I still want my usual booth though.” It seemed like a demand, but the smile and light in Kelley’s eyes made the request sound softer, Matthew smiled and handed Kelley two menus as Kelley turned around and laced her fingers with Alex’s as she led them both to a small booth at the back of the restaurant. Alex slid in after Kelley and looked through the menu. “It all looks so good,”

 

“I told you.” Kelley smiled glancing up from the menu for a minute, her shades now sat on top of her head. “I want everything,” Alex whined.

 

“This place has that effect on people,” Kelley commented, eventually Alex decided on just a normal burger and fries, Kelley ordering the same. “So, your usual booth, do you really come here that often?” Alex asked.

 

“Yeah,” Kelley laughed. “One time, Tobs and I snuck out of training forty minutes earlier to get here before the evening rush, we got in trouble for it but hey, the food was worth it.”

 

“You’re unbelievable,” Alex stated shaking her head. Kelley leant forward, “everybody loves a rebel Alex, especially a cute one – like me.”

 

“So modest,” Alex sighed.

 

Their food arrived ten minutes later and Alex nearly melted at the sight, it smelt so good and looked even better, Kelley was leaning back as she laughed at Alex’s reaction. “I know you’re laughing at me, stop it.” Alex was smiling though as she reached for a fry and started munching on it. Their conversation ceased whilst they ate, both just choosing to savor the food and the time spent in each other’s company. Towards the end of their meal, with Alex just munching on the last few fries she had left, “I was supposed to be studying today Kell.”

 

“You’ve only just caught onto that?” Kelley wondered, reaching for her drink. “No, I already knew that, I just, why wouldn’t you let me study?”

 

“Studying is for nerds Alex.” Kelley laughed leaning back, “classes haven’t even started yet – I just thought it would be fun for us to hang out before classes start.”

 

“You say that as though once they start we’re never going to see each other.” The words stung as Alex said them but Kelley was quick to interject and reassure the forward that’s not what she meant. “I just mean, with training and classes, I’ll probably be napping a lot of the time.” Kelley finished explaining and Alex nodded, “I get it. Also, I’m not a nerd.” Alex protested causing Kelley to laugh, “You only just caught onto that? Wow Alex, you’re slower than I thought.”

 

“Shut up.” The forward grumbled throwing a fry at Kelley who caught it and ate it. They paid for their food, despite Kelley wanting to pay for both of them and headed back towards the car. Alex looked out of the window, eyebrows creased as she realized she didn’t know where they were going. “Hey Kell; where are you going?” Alex asked, Kelley smiled as she looked over to Alex,

 

“I never said the day was done Alex Morgan,” Kelley turned left, Alex turned on her phone, opening the thread and glancing over the message, her thumb hovered over the screen as she tried to figure out what to reply with;

 

That’s the problem. It’s too late, maybe this was how it was supposed to end. – Alex

 

Kelley pulled up and turned the engine off; Alex looked up and out of the window. “You drove us to the beach?”

 

“Yup, the beach is awesome, let’s go.” Kelley grinned nudging Alex’s shoulder. The pair climbed out of the car, they headed down to the beach but Kelley took hold of Alex’s hand and pulled her in the other direction. Kelley headed towards some rocks and climbed up, Alex tightening her grip on the defender’s hand to be careful not to slip, Kelley led them up to the two highest rocks and sat down pulling Alex down to sit beside her. They fell into their comfortable silence again, knees knocking against each other as they stared out at the water, there were a couple of surfers heading towards the water, Kelley let her head fall against Alex’s shoulder.

 

“You know, I’d never surfed until I moved here and now I love it.”

 

“I’ve never surfed once in my life,” Alex laughed thinking it sounded slightly absurd that she grew up within half an hour of a beach and never once tried to surf even though all her friends did and could do it pretty well.

 

“You grew up here? How have you never surfed?” Kelley asked a twinge of shock in her voice. Alex shrugged, “I guess I was always doing other stuff. I played soccer, softball, volleyball – I never had any time to surf.”

 

“I’m going to teach you one day.” Kelley spoke confidently, looking up at Alex, “I’m going to hold you to that Kell.”

 

“You wanna know why I love the beach so much?” Kelley asked, Alex lifted her head and nodded at Kelley, “yeah; tell me.”

 

“It started when I was a kid; my family went to Florida for vacation and we spent a day down at the beach but I kept sticking to my mom’s side, I don’t know why I was so scared but the sand and the water always struck a fear in me, I was sitting on the blanket with my book whilst my mom was reading hers, my sister walked over and held her hand out and I remember her saying come on Kell, I’ll show you that the beach isn’t scary. I didn't want to go but I trusted Erin more than my brother, so I held her hand and for the first ever I actually stood on sand – usually I got my dad to carry me around the beach and I remember laughing at how soft it was, and the way my feet submerged in this golden heaven I guess, she led me over to my brother and we sat on the sand as they let me help them build a sandcastle that by the end was actually taller than me – not that it was hard, I was like six and then we went running into the water, I was on Erin’s back because I was scared I was going to get dragged under because of how small I was – we ended up splashing Jerry so roughly that he fell into the water laughing. It might not be the greatest story on the planet but that was the first time I realized the beach wasn’t as scary as I thought it was and as I got older I always found myself begging mom and dad to take me back. I just, it’s my happy place aside from a soccer pitch.” Kelley looked at Alex who was staring at the defender intently, hanging off every word that Kelley said. “Sorry, I guess I started rambling.”

 

“No, no. I think it’s cute. It’s really sweet how your favorite memory of the beach is with your family.” Alex smiled, letting her own head fall on Kelley’s shoulder. They stayed on the beach for over three hours, just pointing out various objects they could find, laughing over their own memories, Alex thinks she could sit and listen as Kelley told her stories of her childhood for the rest of her life, she found herself never wanting to see the smile leave Kelley’s face, she was adorable in the way she’d stop halfway through a story as she tried to remember what happened next. “I think we should head back, it’s nearly six.”

 

“Seriously?” Alex asked a bewildered expression on her face. Kelley laughed and stood up, “yeah; let’s go.” Kelley took Alex’s hand and led her down from the rocks and back to the car. They drove back, jamming out to whatever song came onto the radio and bad singing ensued as Kelley tripped over the lyrics leading Alex to burst out laughing to the point where she was dragging her hand across the cheeks to wipe away the tears. After pulling up outside Alex’s apartment building; Kelley killed the engine and turned to Alex. “Thank you for today, what we did was a thousand times better than being stuck in the library trying to concentrate on politics.”

 

“Well yeah, only boring people spend their days in the library – especially BEFORE classes start.”

 

“Ok, I get it. I’m a nerd.”

 

“I wasn’t going to say it!” Kelley exclaimed, holding her hands up in defense “but now that you mention it, you’re kind of a nerd.” Alex nodded, not feeling offended in the slightest at the freckle faced girl’s comment.

 

“So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Alex asked, Kelley threw her shades back on. “That can be arranged,” Kelley smirked as Alex climbed out of the car. Kelley turned the radio up and blew a kiss to Alex before starting her car again and driving off, only then did Alex remember that she’d left her books on the backseat, Alex just shrugged, political economy was the last thing on her mind anyway. Alex walked into the building and up the stairs slowly, feeling tired from the day. She opened the door and walked in,

 

“DUDE WE THOUGHT YOU DIED.” Morgan yelled as soon as Alex came into view. Julie and Syd were sitting in the kitchen; two wine glasses in front of them a bottle in the middle. “You’ve been gone for like eight hours.”

 

“Sorry,” Alex scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. “Kell and I lost track of time.”

 

“In the library?” Julie asked, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. Morgan sent the defender a look as if to say ‘you really don’t think they’ve been in the library all this time?’

 

“We didn’t stick around in the library too long; we got some food and went to the beach.” Alex shrugged as though it was nothing. “I TOLD YOU” Syd yelled pointing at JJ, “I knew they wouldn’t be studying.”

 

“I’ll be back in a minute, I’m just going to get changed – what are we doing tonight?”

 

“Wine and trashy TV shows,” Syd cheered raising her glass to Alex who smiled widely, “sounds like my ideal night.”

 

“That’s my girl,” Syd laughed taking another sip of wine as Alex retreated down the hall. Alex walked into her room and grabbed some comfortable clothes from her closet, tying her hair up in a ponytail as she got changed, she was sitting on her bed pulling on a pair of pink fluffy socks covered in tiny unicorns because Alex Morgan is a massive child, she was so deep in thought that she didn’t notice her phone light up beside her but once she did, she picked it up fully expecting to see a goofy selfie from Kelley to remember the day by but what she got was a reply from her message before, Alex read over the message twice, her grip tightening on the device as she studied the words carefully,

 

This wasn’t happening.

 

I don’t believe that for a second and neither do you, this isn’t how it’s supposed to end. Can I come and see you? We need to talk face to face. –

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i just leave you on a cliffhanger? yes, yes i did


	5. You're An Athlete

Alex pushed herself backwards until her back was pressed against the wall, her phone in her lap as her eyes continued to scan over the message as if the more times she looked at it, the words would change into something that didn’t send panic through her veins or send her heart rate soaring to the sky. Alex let her phone drop beside her on her bed as she put her head in her hands, taking several deep breaths to bring back some sort of normal rhythm to her breathing that was accelerating at a speed the forward just couldn’t keep up with, this was not happening, she was not going to be coming face to face with anybody from Cal for a while, let alone them. She could reply back with no, it would so simple to text them back and say they can’t come and see her, but the rational side of Alex’s brain was working in overdrive as to convince the forward that she can’t avoid fixing the issues she left back there, she knows she needs to see them, sort out what happened, maybe even end properly on good terms. Alex also knows she needs to do it before Stanford face Cal later on this season, god knows what Alex would do if she saw them again. “Alex, hey, are you coming in?” Syd’s question started Alex who snapped her neck towards the door wearing the expression of a deer in headlights, “yeah,” the forward laughs “I got distracted, let’s go.” Alex hopped off her bed and walked with Syd into the living room, taking up position on the couch beside Julie as Syd walked in handing her a glass of cheap white wine, Morgan was once again in her favorite armchair, wine in one hand and wrapped in a penguin blanket, Syd was sprawled out across the couch by the wall doing her best effort to keep her wine glass steady on her stomach, Julie and Alex were in similar positions; both curled up to their ends of the couch with their hands curled around the bottom of their glasses as the opening credits to The Bachelorette started, “Syd; I’m beginning to sense a theme in your favorite shows.” Alex commented, Syd looked over to her roommate and smiled,

 

“What can I say? I’m trash for self absorbed guys and girls who’ll do anything to get a date.” And so that’s how their night was spent, laughing, offering up ridiculous advice that even the dumbest of people wouldn’t take, three bottles of wine later and the girls were all but crashed on the couch; Alex’s eyes were dropping as the forward struggled to keep her eyes open, Julie had fallen asleep forty-something minutes earlier, her head in Alex’s lap. Morgan had somehow managed to shuffle around so far in her sleep that she was practically lying upside down in the chair, eyes closed and mouth open. Syd was lying in the same position she started the night, the glass being held by her index finger curling around the bottom, it was going to drop soon enough but Alex was in no position to go and take it from her before it hit the floor. Alex let her head fall and her eyes close, drifting off into a never-ending nothingness as her thoughts began to cloud her mind, the message continuing to plague her as she slept. What the hell was she going to do? When the girls’ gradually started awake the next morning, Syd’s phone rang causing groans to escaped the lips of the tired soccer players as Syd answered and pushed her phone to her ear before mumbling out a sleepy “what the hell do you want? It’s too early.”

 

Alex stretched as Julie sat up and followed suit, both girls smiling at each other as they continued to listen to Syd mumble out replies to whoever was on the phone, “what time? Ok, I can’t believe you’re making me put on pants.” Syd let her phone fall onto her stomach as she turned to find two sets of eyes waiting patiently, “that was Allie, the team’s heading out to breakfast – you in?” The two nodded, and after waking up Morgan who was dazed to say the least, the four were dressed as they hauled themselves downstairs towards Julie’s car. Alex calling shotgun before Morgan and the midfielder pouting for the entire car ride from the backseat, choosing to kick the back of Alex’s seat to vent her frustration, an action that Alex found adorably annoying but she’d never tell Moe that. After being given the wrong directions by Syd, twice they arrived at the waffle house. “I don’t understand why you needed directions; we’ve been coming here for three years.” Syd sighed dramatically as she stepped out of the car, choosing to question JJ on her horrendous sense of direction before Cheney saw them and told them to stop arguing.

 

“Syd, I never drive here; I’m always in the backseat half asleep. So shut up, you literally have no argument here.” JJ threw an award-winning smirk over her shoulder as Syd grumbled before kicking stones out of her path as she walked into the restaurant first, making a b-line for Allie. Julie headed for Alyssa, Morgan tripped on the rug at the front of the restaurant and fell awkwardly into the empty seat beside Meghan, Alex took the seat beside Tobin, “hey Tobs; where’s Press?” She asked pointing towards the empty seat by the window that is usually occupied by the raven haired girl. “She’s not there?!” Tobin gasped whipping her head around to the empty seat, Alex from her position wanted to face palm at the idiocy of her friend, “but seriously, she’s in the bathroom.”

 

“God, you’re so weird.”

 

“Who’s weird?” Christen asked, walking back up to the table and greeting Alex with a hug from behind. “Tobin,” Alex answered smiling up at the forward; Christen laughed. “I know she is, I don’t know why I put up with it.”

 

“You love me, that’s why.” Tobin smirked pushing herself over so that she was sitting in Christen’s usual seat, her feet set on her original chair. Christen walked up to Tobin, staring down at the midfielder. “Move, you were literally just sitting there.”

 

“I think I like this chair more, I get a better view.” Tobin smirked causing Christen to roll her eyes at her, “Tobin, move.”

 

“Make me,” the older girl challenged lifting her head to stare intensely into the forward’s eyes, Christen smirked as she leant down until her lips were inches away from Tobin’s. “If you move, I’ll kiss you.” The words that escaped Press’ lips were so soft that Tobin nearly didn’t catch them, but she did and her heart felt it was going to explode as she timidly nodded and slipped back into her own chair with ease as Christen sat down, turning and letting her legs fall over Tobin’s thighs. “Where’s my kiss?” Tobin asked, narrowing her eyes. “Sorry babe,” Christen smiled shyly as she leant forward and kissed Tobin’s cheek “there.” Tobin pursed her lips as she glared at the girl in front of her, “that’s not funny.” She scolded pushing Christen’s legs off of her own, Christen just laughed and leant forward hooking her arms around Tobin’s neck. “Like you said Tobs; you love me.” Christen sang into the brunette’s ear and despite her annoyance, even Tobin couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she held the arms that were currently wrapped around her.

 

“Two days before classes start; I can’t say I’m excited.” Sam whined whilst trying to balance a sugar packet on the edge of her empty mug, “I’m with Mewy, I don’t want to wake up at 9 AM.” Morgan agreed smacking the sugar packet with more ferocity than she intended as the packet went flying and hit Allie in the jaw. Sam turned to Morgan, “You say it like you actually wake up, the number of times that Sonnett’s had to go and physically drag out of bed is astonishing. I’m surprised you haven’t been kicked off the team for your grades yet.”

 

“One; rude, two; I don’t like you.” Morgan retaliated; jutting her bottom lip out like a child. Sam rolled her eyes, “You’ve got worse banter than Alyssa and she’s pretty bad.”

 

“It’s true,” Alyssa cut in, not even disagreeing with the statement as it was a 100% correct. The rest of the team had arrived within twelve minutes of each other, Ali and Ashlyn had fully expected a forfeit until the team looked at each other wide-eyed and with the fact that 65% of the team couldn’t keep their eyes open, they decided to let the defense off this time, a feat they knew wasn’t going to happen again. As the team placed their orders, Alex was struggling to concentrate on whatever Whitney was saying, not that she was trying to be rude but the couch isn’t as comfortable as her bed and she hardly slept, you know? With everything on her mind. “Good morning Alex Morgan,” A voice all too chipper whispered in her ear, Alex turned as Kelley sat down, the sun having been out for the majority of the morning had Kelley’s freckles even more visible than they usually were, adding a sense of innocence to quite possibly the least innocent team member. “Hardly.” Alex replied after a minute. Kelley’s face dropped as moved closer to Alex, pulling her hand away from where her head had been resting on it, the forward jolting forward as the unsteadiness, she looked at Kelley fully and found the defender furrowing her eyebrows as she seemingly stared into Alex’s eyes as if she could read what was on her mind, once she conceded she couldn’t, she just asked what was wrong instead. Alex did debate just telling Kelley everything in that moment, until she realized this wasn’t a problem that anybody else could help her solve.

 

“We drank a lot of cheap wine last night and crashed on the couch – I had a really bad night’s sleep.” Alex answered as genuinely as she could hoping Kelley would buy it, she seemed to but Alex was too tired to think about the possibility of her not.

 

“GUYS.” The team fell silent at the sound of Becky’s voice as she and Cheney stood at the top of the table, side by side with similar serious expressions on their faces. “First of all; I haven’t seen you that much since I got back, but you know that for a lot of this team, this season is your last as a Cardinal.” Becky stopped for a second, feeling sad herself knowing that in the months to come, she will no longer be captain to this bunch of idiots that as much as she doesn’t want to admit it, the idiots she knows she’d be lost without.

 

“Are you really giving us an emotional captain speech at 10:30 in the morning, at a waffle house?” Syd asked, leaning forward as she raised her eyes at the blonde. Becky raised her own left eyebrow, “if you don’t shut up I’ll make you run laps around the parking lot.”

 

“There are cars out there Rebecca, I could get run over.” Syd deadpanned, Becky smirked.

 

“Do you think that will change my mind?” She asked, Syd gasped and pointed at her captain. “You’re evil, but I’m gonna shut up.” Syd’s voice trailed off as she leant back, leaning against Allie’s left side. “As I was saying,” Becky narrowed her eyes at Syd; “this is the last season for a lot of us, and I want this to be our best season yet. We’ve won and we’ve lost but that’s just soccer as a whole, I know we have some of the most talented players in the country on this team and I refuse to let us go out anything less than champions. I know we can do it, you know we can do it, as long as we stick together, work hard – not party as much.” Becky glared at Kelley who smirked and held her hands up,

 

“I still turned up to training,” Kelley retaliated, laughing. “You were hungover and refusing to do anything but sit in the stands whilst holding your head?” Becky countered, “Hey. I still turned up.”

 

“I know this year can and will be our best, got it?”

 

Choruses of ‘hell yeah’ ‘the championship is ours’ and an awful rendition of the Stanford fight song was yelled out, bringing a whole load of unwanted attention to the team who at that current moment couldn’t have cared less.

 

“DON’T FORGET; WE’VE GOT A TRAINING SESSION TONIGHT.”

 

“Wow Becky, I swear you just plan to ruin our day on purpose.” Meghan rolled her eyes as she walked past the blonde. Becky shrugged, “I’m the captain, and I can ruin your day as much as I want.” Tobin walked up behind Meghan, wrapping her arms around the defender’s shoulders from behind. “She’s right Kling, either that or she’s just pissed off because she needs to get laid.” Tobin turned her head to Becky whose cheeks were turning bright red as she spoke, “I’m going to make you run ten laps Heath.”

 

“You totally asked for that Tobs,” Christen laughed walking out behind the two girls. Alex was halfway to the door when she turned around and noticed Kelley was still sitting at the table, twirling a straw around her fingers with a disinterested expression on her face. “Hey Kell, you coming?” Alex waited for a response,

 

“You wanna go for a drive?” Kelley asked, disregarding Alex’s question. Alex quickly replied, “Sure.” Kelley nodded and stood up walking around to Alex.

 

“Don’t forget training Kelley.”

 

“Not a chance Cap,” Kelley saluted Becky with a grin on her face, leading the captain to roll her eyes. Alex and Kelley left the restaurant, Alex signaling to a waiting Julie that she was heading off with Kelley, Morgan yelled and fist pumped the air as she yelled shotgun, despite the fact that Syd was already in the backseat and not planning on moving. Alex walked around to Kelley’s car and got in, “you left your books in the car.” Kelley stated as she pulled out and started driving, her window down, and right hand on the steering wheel and her left against the side of the door, her head leaning against it. “I know, I realized as soon as you’d driven off.” Alex laughed slightly but stopped when Kelley didn’t react. “Kelley, are you ok?”

 

“I’m fine,” the answer was short but Alex didn’t ask any further questions, choosing to instead fiddle with the bottom of her jacket. “So, Notre Dame on Thursday – you excited for your first game?”

 

The question took Alex by surprise, she thought Kelley wasn’t in a talkative mood, glancing over she could see Kelley’s eyes firmly on the road as she drove, Alex answered. “I’m really excited. I don’t think I’ll play though – Christen and ARod will play, right? Or Syd?”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure; Paul’s been watching you in training, you’re good and haven’t you scored like seven goals against Notre Dame?” Kelley questioned, “Or is it Washington?”

 

“No, it’s Notre Dame. I got a hat-trick against them last season.”

 

“We watched that game from our hotel, we were in Florida – all the girls were crammed in mine and Press’ room. You were on fire that game, you could’ve scored six or seven.” Kelley commented, still refusing to meet Alex’s eyes which was a good thing as the defender didn’t see the blush rising to Alex’s cheeks. “You’re definitely going to play, Paul’s not going to overlook your record because you’re the new kid.”

 

“What about you? Will you play?” Alex asked; Kelley shrugged.

 

“Probably, or he might play Meghan and play me against Minnesota.” Kelley replied, noting the quick turnaround in fixtures between Notre Dame at home on Thursday and playing Minnesota the following Friday. The conversation fell away for a while, Kelley just concentrating on driving and Alex looking out of the window to try and rack her brain for wherever they might be heading. “Hey Kell?”

 

“Yeah,” Kelley said, taking another left turn. “Where are we going?” Alex asked; “see for yourself.” Kelley answered as she pulled up, Alex looked out the window. “Los Trancos Open Space Preserve, you’re taking me hiking?”

 

“I’m taking us hiking, don’t you want to?” Kelley asked, grabbing her shades from the dashboard. “I want to go,” Alex bit her bottom lip to avoid saying ‘because I want to spend every waking second with you.’ – She wasn’t that desperate, yet. They both exited the car, Alex waiting for Kelley to lock her car and walk around, the first few yards were walked in silence, Kelley’s hand brushing against Alex’s as though to ask permission to hold it despite it becoming a normal occurrence during their time together. “Hold my hand Kell,” Alex mumbled softly. Kelley intertwined their fingers, not remotely caring that she was caught out by the forward. They headed off down the trail, it was a particularly sunny day, perfect conditions you know? Kelley’s odd mood from the beginning of the car ride had finally ceased and Alex was relieved to find the careless smile on her face as she ran ahead, dragging Alex behind her as she spoke a mile a minute about whatever ridiculous idea came to her mind,

 

“No Kelley. No, you cannot try and blow up your apartment.” Alex deadpanned, Kelley pouted like a toddler trying to melt Alex’s resolve. “That’s not going to work, I have sisters Kell – they used that on me for years, especially to take the wrap for something they did.” Kelley shrugged as she stepped closer to Alex, she edged closer until their lips were less than inches away from touching. Alex closed her eyes as she tried to settle her nerves, “Race ‘ya!” Kelley yelled before taking off running, Alex’s eyes grew wide. “KELLEY” Alex took off chasing after the defender, weaving in and out of various gates and trees, jumping over fallen tree branches before she fell and bumped her head – it happens more than you think. Kelley wasn’t slowing down for anyone, despite Alex’s groans and shouts for her to stop running for a damn minute. Kelley did stop, after a solid nine minutes of running, resting her back against a fence as Alex slowed to her run to barely a jog as she finally caught up to Kelley, she leant forward her hands on her knees as she struggled to catch her breath. “Damn Alex, I thought you were fast?” Kelley asked, stifling her laughter at the sight of Alex Morgan nearly dying in front of her.

 

“I – am fast. Y-You had a ten second – head start.” Alex panted, waving her hand around. Standing up straight, Alex glanced over at Kelley who had her head tilted to the side, a lazy grin on her face. “What now? I hadn’t realized you we’re going to make me run your version of the pacer test today.”

 

“I want to show you something, let’s go.” Kelley’s voice was softer as she took Alex’s hand again and looked around to make sure nobody was around before hopping over the fence waiting for Alex to follow suit, “I’m not jumping over that, knowing me I’ll probably break my leg.”

 

“I’ll catch you if you fall,” Kelley sang causing Alex to roll her eyes. “If you let me fall I swear to god I will kill you.” Kelley rolled her eyes, “so overdramatic Alex, gosh.”

 

Alex climbed on the fence and was about to climb off in the same way when her foot slipped, eyes wide as she went tumbling straight into Kelley’s arms, the forward looked up, cheeks tinted red with embarrassment. “Told you I’d catch you, you’re so clumsy.” Kelley let Alex stand up, the forward grumbling incoherent words as they rejoined hands and Kelley led them to a path leading up a hill. “You made me run and now expect me to walk up a hill. Do you want me to collapse during training?”

 

“You’re an athlete Alex,” Kelley turned and raised her eyebrows. “I never said I was a good one.” Alex argued back, trying to hide the smile as Kelley (slowly) led them up the hill, Kelley rubbed her thumb across Alex’s knuckles as she held her hand, sending shivers down Alex’s spine at the touch. The walk up took the longest twelve minutes of Alex’s life and as she saw the summit in sight, she swore her legs were going to give way at any second earning another overdramatic teasing from Kelley. Jogging the last leg of the hike, Kelley stopped at the top as Alex spun around taking in the view, Kelley watched as Alex’s grew wide in awe and amazement at the surroundings, “this is incredible.” Alex breathed out, her eyes scanning over mountains, beaches, and the water in the distance sharing the same color as the bright blue sky. “How did you find this?” Alex asked, her eyes focusing on the forest around her that looked tiny, making Alex feel like a giant. “I found it one night,” Kelley explained. “I’d had the worst day and just drove for a while when I arrived here. I just walked around, it was dark and I only had my phone to light the way, I found the fence I jumped over but there was a sign that stated no entry, something about it being dangerous but seriously, how bad could it be? That was two years ago and it’s standing pretty sturdily. If I have a bad day, I’ll usually drive out and sit on this hill, and just reavaluate every single one of my life choices.”

 

“Now who’s the dramatic one?” Alex teased, poking Kelley’s cheek. The defender playfully rolled her eyes as she walked towards the edge of the hill and sat down, gesturing for Alex to do the same. “It is a beautiful view. Have you ever brought anybody else here?”

 

“As in Tobin and Christen or as in somebody I was dating?” Kelley questioned the vague question from Alex. The forward shrugged and tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, “both” she answered nervously, not wanting to know the answer. Kelley nodded,

 

“I’ve never brought Tobin or Christen or any of my teammates for that matter. I once brought a girl here, she was beautiful, and we lay together for a couple of hours.”

 

“Oh,” Alex dropped her head to look at her lap. Kelley felt a pang of hurt hit her chest before she laughed and leant over to whisper, “you know I’m talking about my dog?” Alex turned her head, “Seriously?” Alex asked making Kelley laugh. “Yup, you’re the only other person I’ve brought here, or at least the only other person I’ve wanted to bring here.” Alex felt her heart soar at the words as she reached for Kelley’s hand, placing it in her lap as she tangled her fingers with the freckled girl’s.

 

“Thank you.” Alex spoke after a short silence, “what for?” Kelley asked, her eyebrows creased. “I don’t know, not thinking I’m the weird new kid or bringing me here out of everybody else or I don’t know.” Alex shrugged.

 

“I never realized how sappy you are.” Kelley’s voice was full of surprise as Alex turned to swat her shoulder. “You ruined the moment.”

 

“That’s my style Alex. I agree though.” The end of the sentence becoming serious, they went silent for a while, just sitting, hands held as they watched the sun move across the sky as though somebody had kicked it the way a player smacks their laces through a soccer ball in the 90th minute with only hope in their heart for some bad goalkeeping. “I’m going to a party tonight,” Kelley announced, Alex nodded, “trying to sneak into a frat party?” Alex asked,

 

“How did you know about that?”

 

“I overheard Whit a couple of weeks ago.” Alex answered causing Kelley to roll her eyes, “that was one time – maybe twice, ok I had a record five successful times last year.” Alex and Kelley laughed. “It’s not going to start until like eight, training will be over – do you want to come with me? I don’t really want to sit there on my own, it’ll be boring without anyone.”

 

“Why are you going though?” Alex asked, wondering why she’d go if she didn’t want to. “One of the girl’s on the track team, it’s her birthday – we’ve been friends since we were kids, we met at a soccer camp in Texas.”

 

“Oh, I get you.” Alex said, finally understanding. “So, you want to come? Or do you want me to sit there alone, wishing I had somebody to talk to?”

 

“You know, I would’ve said yes before you tried to guilt me. So yes, I’ll go with you.”

 

They spent over two hours just sitting at the top of the hill, pointing out people walking into the forest as Kelley put on the scariest, lowest voice possible, about how she was going to eat them, steal the children and use them as her minions, “Oh my god Kelley stop!” Alex waved her hands around as she tried to stop herself from laughing to the point where she thought she was going to throw up. Kelley looked down at her phone, “we should probably head back, training starts in an hour and Becky will physically strangle me to death if I make both of us late.”

 

“God, you say I’m dramatic.”

 

“You haven’t seen Becky when she’s pissed off.” Kelley countered as the pair started to retreat down the hill, hand in hand and back to the car, after making sure Alex didn’t trip over the fence again. During the drive back, Kelley was singing and dancing wildly, receiving unnerving glances from people in cars next to her, leading Alex to face palm an absurd number of times at the goofball beside her.

 

~

 

Alex got back to the apartment with twenty minutes until training, giving her at most ten minutes to get ready – and Syd and Moe let her know that, by trying to rush her as she pulled her socks on and her shirt over her head, nearly tripping over her phone charger strewn across the floor. Syd was continuously knocking on the door as Morgan frustratingly counted down by the second. Pulling open her bedroom door rashly, Syd nearly fell into the room as Alex stood, ready for training. “Ready, and it took me seven minutes. Let’s go.”

 

“See Moe, this is what happens when you don’t get distracted by your phone,”

 

“See Syd, this is the look I give you when I don’t care.”

 

Alex watched Syd and Moe and wondered just how the hell the two of them were actually friends. Syd and Moe continued their discussion as they headed to the field, JJ and Alex walked behind them, Julie’s arm linked through Alex’s as the pair rolled their eyes at the bickering and to an extent, teased them but every time they were caught and glared at. They reached the field with a little over two minutes to spare, nearly all their teammates were standing around, some passing a ball between themselves. Alex stopped and scanned the area looking for Kelley and furrowed her eyebrows when she came up with nothing, until she remembered what Tobin had said;

 

She’s just Kelley, she gets away with a lot on this team, it’s just who she is. Paul walked onto the field and the team stood around, his eyes scanned his team until he turned to Tobin. “Where’s O’Hara?” He asked the midfielder, Tobin from her position in-between Ashlyn and Christen shrugged. “Don’t know Coach, I haven’t seen her since this morning.” Paul rolled his eyes but nodded and sent his team off warming up, Alex jogged over to Tobin and Christen

 

“Hey Alex; you left the restaurant with Kelley, do you know where she is?” Christen asked leaning down to tie her loose lace. Alex answered, “We spent most of the day together, she dropped me off at my apartment about half an hour ago – she told me she’d see me here.” Alex looked between Christen and Tobin. “Does she do this a lot, you know? Being late to training?”

 

“Sometimes, it happened a lot last year, but she promised Coach she would try harder this year.”

 

“HEATH, PRESS, MORGAN – IF YOU DON’T START WARMING UP YOU’RE RUNNING LAPS.” Paul’s voice boomed from the sidelines as the trio quickly ran to get involved in the warm up, not wanting to run the wrath of Paul Ratcliffe. The team warmed up before they were sent off into drills, Alex pairing herself with Syd because forwards have to stick together, Alex didn’t believe that for a minute. Twenty-five minutes into the training session, Kelley walked onto the field looking as confident as ever. “Nice of you to join us O’Hara.”

 

“Hey Coach,” Kelley smiled but Paul just looked down at the defender, “twenty-five minutes late O’Hara – you know what that means, if you’re quick you might be done in time for the scrimmage at the end of the session.” Kelley saluted Paul and headed off to run twenty-five laps, a lap for every minute she was late. Alex followed Kelley’s figure running around the side of the pitch, until she was out of sight and Paul’s voice brought the attention of his team. Kelley must’ve been on her eighteenth lap when Paul called her over, Alex was passing a ball in her group of Tobin, Christen, Syd and Julie – her attention firmly not on the ball and instead on the defender looking up intently at their Coach as he spoke sternly, she couldn’t hear what was being said but she imagined it wasn’t an appraisal. The ball was passed to Alex by Christen, the ball rolling at least twenty yards away due to the brunette’s lack of concentration. “Alex?” Christen grabbed her strike partner’s attention, who looked up as Press pointed to the ball. “Oh, got it.” Alex jogged after the ball and retrieved it, sending it to Syd’s foot. The whistle blew and Kelley joined the rest of the team, sliding up beside Alex.

 

“Where’ve you been?” Alex asked in hushed tones, wanting to avoid getting caught. Kelley winked, “I’ll tell you one day.”

 

“You say that a lot.” Alex deadpanned, Kelley smirked “you have a lot to look forward to then.” Alex opened her mouth to speak but no words came out, signaling that was the end of their conversation. Teams were picked for the scrimmage – Alex and Christen were forwards on one side with ARod and Syd on the other team, mainly for Paul to study his starting strike partnership for the game on Thursday. Alex knew this was her chance to impress her coach, Christen walked over and let her hand fall on Alex’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry about trying to impress Coach – he already knows you’re good, it’s just a game, just relax.”

 

“Thanks Press,” Alex smiled, Christen grinned widely as she jogged over to her starting position. Christen’s right, this scrimmage meant nothing. Alex was playing against Kelley, likewise with Christen playing against Tobin – the four of them especially wanting to impress each other, not that they were competitive and liked showing off… The whistle blew and ARod passed the ball back to Ali who sent a long ball sailing over the majority of the other team’s heads, Syd chested it down and played it across to Allie who at first was going to shoot at Ashlyn but saw Kelley out of the corner of her eye, she sent the ball down the flank for Kelley to run onto and send a cross looping over Ashlyn’s reach and for Syd who had raced into the box to head it into what was practically an empty net, despite Emily reaching to stop it. 1-0, and it was such a good team goal – to Alex’s dismay of course. Ashlyn and Meghan rallied their team, yelling as the ball was thrown out to Christen to restart the game. It’s just a game, it’s just a game, it doesn’t mean a thing – Alex kept repeating the words in her head, willing herself to stop taking it so seriously, who cares if her team loses 8-2? They’re all the same team at the end of the day. The game restarted and Christen sent the ball back to Cheney who skipped over a pretty tame tackle from Morgan and headed straight for the box, Cheney had a look of determination on her face signaling only one thing – she was going to shoot, she did and it was palmed away by Alyssa but only within Alex’s reach who stole the ball from under Whit’s foot and spun around, lashing it into the bottom left corner without a second thought. Turning around, Cheney ran over and hugged the forward, Alex hugged her back before hugging Christen. “I told you if he knew you were good – you’re amazing when you just relax.” Alex leant into Christen’s side, appreciating the raven haired girl’s words. She high-fived the rest of her team before a hand curled around her wrist and spun her around, “I think that’s just cemented your starting position on Thursday,” Kelley grinned, Alex blushed. “Maybe,” Alex shrugged before jogging back to her position, Alyssa throwing the ball out to ARod. The scrimmage continued for another fifteen minutes, the final score ending 3-2 to Alex’s team, Christen and Cheney getting the other two goals with Moe getting the second for the others.

 

“Good session today goals, keepers – great saves during the scrimmage and as for the scorers, five well thought out, and well taken strikes. Now onto your recovery – do with that what you will, we have four more sessions before our game on Thursday.”

 

The team nodded as Paul left them, Alex headed over with Tobin to grab their water, they were talking about Alex’s goal when Alex’s water was stolen from her hand by Kelley who drank some before throwing some more over face to cool herself down, “you really need to get your own stuff.”

 

“That’s not my style Alex, you know that.” Kelley grinned handing the bottle back to Alex, when the forward turned around Tobin was looking at her whilst shaking her head and smirking. “What?” Alex questioned,

 

“Kelley’s obsessed with you, it’s like she can’t get enough.” Tobin laughed, eyes glancing between Alex and Kelley who was talking to Ali and Christen. Alex raised her eyebrows as she folded her arms and turned to Tobin, “just like you and Press then? Everyone knows you two are essentially a married couple.”

 

“Are not, Chris and I are friends.” Tobin insisted but even could see through the midfielder so clearly that she might well as been a window. “She’s hot though, right?” Tobin asked, although her tone said ‘please agree so I don’t seem crazy.’

 

“Yes Tobin; Christen’s hot and if you don’t admit you like her – someone’s going to steal your girl away.” Alex smirked as she walked past, brushing Tobin’s shoulder. “She’s not my girl,” Tobin muttered but even she didn’t believe it. Alex started heading away from the field when she heard Kelley call her, stopping, she turned around as Kelley approached her. “Come in the ice bath with me?” She asked, adding the puppy dog eyes for effect even though she knew Alex had become immune to such persuasion. “Go in it yourself,” Alex responded. “I get bored on my own,”

 

“Kell; half the team are heading to get in the ice bath, you won’t be on your own.”

 

“Yeah but, none of them are you.” Kelley swung back and forth on her heels; Alex knew she was seconds away from having her resolve melt, “Please Alex.” Kelley stepped closer, taking the forward’s hand in her own. “Fine.” Alex grumbled, she wasn’t angry, more annoyed that Kelley had such an effect on her. A toothy grin appeared on Kelley’s face as the pair headed inside, Alex already dreading the prospect of an ice bath, if there’s one thing she hates more than everything else – she was about to get into it. Kelley walked in, Alex dragged behind wanting to delay the happening as long as possible, “it’s only ice Alex, it’s not gonna kill you.”

 

“It might.” Alex knew the argument was weak, Kelley just smiled though and pulled off her sweat drenched training top, revealing the black sports bra and the abs that Alex despite trying desperately hard, could just not tear her eyes away from, her eyes scanned up and down, her neck aching as Alex reached up to massage it. Kelley was standing in front of her, eyebrow raised and hands on her hips. “Like what you see?” She whispered lowly, Alex snapped her head up so that she was eye to eye with Kelley. “Leave me alone,” the forward mumbled causing Kelley to laugh as she walked into the training room but not before shouting over her shoulder; “don’t even think about ditching me in there!”

 

Alex knew she couldn’t if she tried, after discarding her own shirt; Alex grabbed a towel and begrudgingly walked into the training room, Kelley waving her over to her. Alex walked around and stood by the bath, “It’s not that cold, honestly.” Kelley tried her best to convince Alex, she knew she was going to have to do so holding her breath and bracing herself, Alex stepped into the ice bath, immediately shivering and regretting every single one of her life choices as she moved until her right side was pressed against Kelley’s left. Alex was shivering, lips quivering as she wished the time would just hurry up – even though it had been thirty seconds at most. “Hey Alex, look at this puppy video.” Using her quick thinking, Kelley shoved her phone into Alex’s hands as the forward watched a two and a half minute video on a Golden Retriever puppy during his first visit to the beach, Alex was so engrossed in the video, aw’ing and melting at the sight of the cute dog, completely forgot that she was in the ice bath, stopped shivering and focused all of her energy on trying not to tear up at the puppy getting splashed gently. After the video ended, Alex realized what Kelley had done and felt her cheeks heating up, although she hoped Kelley thought it was from her being cold – Kelley knew it wasn’t, handing her phone back to the freckled girl Alex smiled. “Thank you,”

 

“I told it wouldn’t kill you.” Kelley whispered, nudging Alex’s shoulder with her own. They stayed in the bath for another five minutes; Kelley doing anything she could to engage Alex in a conversation to keep her mind off the ice, Kelley told Alex about the time Emily fell asleep in the ice bath and ended up with a cold, citing it could only have happened to Emily Sonnett. After finally deciding to call time, Alex quite literally leapt out of the bath, grabbing her towel and wrapping herself in it. “Seriously Alex, anyone would think you were cold.” Kelley smirked wrapping her own towel around her neck as they walked back into the locker room, realizing they were the only two left in there. Alex sat on the floor, leaning against the bench. “You know when you say I’ll tell you one day?” Alex asked, Kelley hummed in response from where she was rummaging through her bag for her shirt. “Are you ever going to tell me?” Alex questioned, Kelley looked up from her bag, smiling at Alex.

 

“Yeah Alex, I’ll tell you one day, I promise.”

 

“They better be good if you’re going to make me wait so long.” Alex teased, Kelley smirked, “it’s me – of course they’re going to be good.”

 

“You’re so modest Kell, really.” Alex spoke with a sarcastic twinge to her voice. “I’m going to ignore the sarcasm,” Kelley smiled as she pulled her shirt over her head. As Alex grabbed her own shirt out of her bag, she stood up and turned around,

 

“Today was fun, what to have planned next?” Alex asked, flicking her eyes over to Kelley. Kelley thought for a moment, “a whole world of adventures, you in?”

 

“With you? Yeah, I guess I am.” Alex and Kelley shared similar lovesick grins, not that they’d ever admit that’s what they were. Alex and Kelley, once they were dressed headed out, walking back towards their apartment, well Alex’s apartment as it was closer. “You never told me why you get upset when you’re on your phone?” Kelley spoke; Alex wasn’t sure if she was just speaking her thoughts or if she intended to ask the question. Either way, Alex froze up as she pulled on the hem of her shirt, “Alex?” Kelley stopped walking and turned to face her, “is it bad?” Kelley asked, her tone made her sound unsure if she wanted to know the answer or what. Alex shrugged,

 

“I just have a lot of unfinished business at Cal.” Alex answered honestly, “I left without a lot of warning. I mean I told my friends and the team that I was leaving, but I never told them why you know? I didn’t want them to feel guilty.”

 

“So it was their fault you left?” Kelley questioned, starting to piece together Alex’s past.

 

“Not all of them, maybe two people.” Alex shrugged, “it just seems that now I’m here, my past wants back into my life.”

 

“Are you going to let it?”

 

“What’s with all the questions?” Alex countered, her voice a lot harsher than she intended. “Sorry, it’s just – I don’t know if I want my past to try and ruin my future and the whole situation is really stressful at the moment – honestly, spending time with you is keeping my mind off it a lot.”

 

“I understand, I’m not going to force you to tell me but hey, if it gets too stressful for you – you know I’m going to be around, right?” Kelley’s voice was genuine and Alex nodded, “I know that Kell.” Kelley brought Alex into a hug, the forward letting her head nuzzle into the defender’s neck as she wrapped her arms around Kelley. “I’ll see you later.” Kelley said as she let Alex go,

 

“Later? More time with you,” Alex grinned playfully causing Kelley to roll her eyes, “the party you idiot and you know you love it. I’ll come and pick you up in about three hours?”

 

“I forgot about that, and sounds good, I’ll be ready.” Kelley waved as Alex entered the building and headed up the stairs, her phone vibrating in her pocket as she reached the apartment. Swinging open the door, Syd and Moe were lying on the couch eating popcorn whilst Julie was sat on the floor with her notebook and laptop in front of her. Shutting the door, “hey Al, you gonna join us – we’re watching Beauty and the Beast.”

 

“Is that even a question, of course I am.” Alex laughed dropping her bag in the hall and walking into the living room, stealing some popcorn from the bowl Morgan was holding and throwing herself down in the armchair, ready to watch her favorite movie when she remembered her phone, pulling it out of her pocket, her eyes scanned over the text.

 

I’m heading to Stanford; I’ll be there in an hour. We’re going to talk about us. –

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lied, the mystery person of Alex's past will be in the next chapter. oh, also, did i just leave you on another cliffhanger? yes i did.


	6. Something About Stitches

Alex swore in that very moment she felt her heart break all over again, this was not about to happen, this was not about to ruin her day, she was not about to come face to face with them. She felt her grip loosening on her phone as she found herself struggling to focus on anything, the words on the text, the way JJ was typing away on her laptop or the way Syd and Morgan were offering up commentary on the movie, the movie – this has been Alex’s favorite movie since she was merely five years old and she chose it for a movie night with her sisters. “All I’m saying Moe is that you wouldn’t find me falling in love with a beast.”

 

“Syd, I don’t mean to be rude but did you even look at your last boyfriend?” Moe was walking a thin line with the question but she was still smirking nonetheless. Julie looked up from her laptop for a brief moment, a smile gracing her lips as she waited for an offended Syd to offer up a damning comeback. Syd stared at Moe, her hand hovering over the bowl of popcorn, an emotionless expression on her face, the twelve seconds between Moe’s words and Syd’s reply were deafening but after hearing the striker’s reply of “could’ve been worse; at least I wasn’t dating Gaston.” Laughter filled the room, Alex’s included for the time-being as allowed herself to forget about what could possibly happen within the next fifty-six minutes. Moe whined when her hand fumbled around the empty bowl, flicking her eyes over to Syd who still had over half a bowl in her lap. “Syd, stop eating my popcorn and eat your own.” Syd shared a glance with Morgan and the TV before smirking, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Moe just groaned and tried to reach over to grab some popcorn out of the striker’s bowl except just like on the field, was too quick and held the bowl above her head. Alex stood up and swiped the empty bowl from Morgan’s hand, “I’ll make some more.”

 

“You’re the best Alex.” Morgan smiled gratefully, Alex just walked into the kitchen and grabbed some more popcorn, waiting for it to be done; Alex could hear Syd and Morgan singing along to the lyrics of Belle, despite how much Alex loved them – they were horrible singers. Once the popcorn was ready, Alex grabbed the bag, cursing when she burnt the inside of her pinky finger on it whilst she was empty the contents into the blue, plastic bowl. “Yo Morgan, where’s my popcorn?” Alex heard Morgan ask from the living room, Alex grabbed the bowl and padded over to the couch handing it to Morgan but not before grabbing a handful and reverting to her previous position on the armchair, her legs swung over the side. Her attention turning back to the TV, “JJ what are you doing?” Morgan asked after a while, her attention moving from the TV to the frazzled blonde sitting on the floor, pen behind her ear as she ripped a piece of paper from her notebook and scrunched it up, throwing it in the general direction of the trashcan but missing it by a mile. “Wedding planning,”

 

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

 

Julie looked at the bemused expressions on her friends’ faces before laughing, “Not my wedding you goofs, I’m sorting out the table planning for my sister.” Syd, Alex and Moe felt their heart rates begin to return to a normal pace, “how come you’re doing it?” Moe asked, before popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. “My sister’s stressed out with everything else, I offered to do this for her and now I don’t want to get married.”

 

“You could hire a wedding planner; I mean Zach’s going be a professional player right? You’ll be loaded.”

 

“It’s not about the money Syd,” Julie huffed, taking hold of her pen as she began to jot down random wedding guests names. “Speak for yourself; if I’m not rich when I’m older I want a refund on my entire existence.”

 

“You’re ridiculous,” Morgan laughed, successfully stealing a handful of popcorn from Syd’s bowl despite having a near full bowl within her own grasp. Finally, the attention turned back to the movie, Syd singing the words to Be Our Guest – despite mixing up two verses, Moe took it upon herself to perform Beauty and the Beast, dancing and sliding across the wooden floor in her penguin socks. Alex knew she had less than half an hour to decide whether she wanted to go and face her past. Her phone vibrates again on the chair beside her; Alex instantly brings her phone to her and breathes a sigh of relief when she sees the contact gracing the top of the screen.

 

Which shirt do you think says I don’t really want to be here but happy birthday dude? – Defender Extraordinaire

 

A photo of two extremely similar t-shirts were attached, one white and one grey. Alex rolled her eyes and sent back a reply, telling the defender to choose the grey one because it brings out her eyes more. The movie came to an end, with Alex having made her decision; standing up from the chair, “I’m heading out for a little bit guys,” the three girls didn’t seem to be remotely interested; Syd and Moe sitting beside Julie as they tried to help with the planning, but judging by JJ’s expression – they weren’t helping. Alex just shrugged but as she stared at the white apartment door, her feet became frozen in the spot, she tried to trick her brain into moving but no matter how much she tried, she just couldn’t make her legs move. “I thought you were heading out Al?” Syd asked after a thirty seconds of watching Alex immobile, “I am.” Alex answered, “You know you have to walk over to the door to leave?” Syd asked, Alex mumbled a response “shut up Syd.” before finally hauling herself over to the door, she left the apartment and slowly, even slower than Moe’s sloth-like movements of a morning began making her way down the stairs, a bubbling sense of anxiety filling her chest with every step. Alex pushed open the building door, her phone vibrating again in her hand, twice. Alex’s eyes scanned over the messages;

 

Stop flirting with me Alex Morgan. – Defender Extraordinaire

 

I’m here. I don’t know where I am. –

 

Alex didn’t reply to Kelley’s text but sent a reply to them, telling them to follow signs for the library and that she’d meet them there. Alex had no idea why she was doing this, she’s knows it’s a bad idea, she knows she shouldn’t allow herself to think with her heart, not again. Alex stopped walking when she saw the library ahead of her, her hands waved in front of her as the forward tried to psych herself up, if there’s one thing that’s working in Alex’s favor, it’s that since she left Cal – she now has a backbone, she’s not as weak and gullible as she was before she left, she knows that this in her own hands and if she stands up, keeps her mind solely focused on getting to the bottom of what happened without letting her heart take over for a mere second, she had this in the bag. “This is ridiculous.” Alex muttered as she walked over to the library, she scanned the parking lot to try and recognize the Jeep, she knew they’d still have it, they’ve had it since their sophomore year when they took Alex, who was a junior on their first date and instead they were stuck on the side of the highway for over an hour when it broke down, despite the check engine light flashing for twenty minutes before. Alex stopped and looked closely, there were not a lot of cars around and that should’ve made it easier but in all honesty, Alex thinks she was skipping over similar cars to avoid her eyes landing on theirs. Alex walked closer to the entrance of the library, backing up until she was leaning against the red bricked wall, eyes looking down at the ground. “Alex,”

 

The moment she heard her name, Alex’s entire body froze up, “Alex. It’s me.”

 

“I know.” Alex’s tone was rough, her voice harsh as she lifted her head up so that she was looking at her, their eyes staring into each other’s, blue eyes staring in the greenish, grey that Alex once spent an entire twenty minutes describing, they let their eyes fall over each other. She hadn’t changed so much, her jawline was a lot more defined than it had been before the summer, but her blonde hair was still swept up in the tangled top knot that Alex used to roll her eyes at, claiming she didn’t see the point when she’d just spend an hour brushing her hair out once the day was over. The Cal shirt she was wearing was clearly worn out, it hung off her tall frame and as Alex looked closer, her jaw dropped. “That’s my shirt.” She pointed accusingly, “why do you have my shirt?” Alex asked, her voice becoming raspier the more annoyed she became. The blonde smiled sheepishly, tugging at the collar of the shirt. “You left, I wanted something of ours.” She shrugged. “Whatever. You wanted to talk, there’s a coffee shop around the corner.” Alex spoke, finally tearing her eyes away from the younger girl, Alex started walking with the blonde following at least three paces behind – knowing that walking with her was completely out of the question. Alex fought the urge to turn around and take hold of her hand like she used to, pulling the blonde closer to her as they’d walk down the road, and waiting for the moment that she’d wrap her arms around Alex’s shoulders from behind and place a gentle kiss to the back of her neck. Voiding herself of the thoughts, Alex pushed open the door and walked in, making her way to a couch at the back of the shop and throwing herself down, at least she hasn’t slapped her yet. Alex watched as she stood in the queue ready to buy them drinks, Alex rested her elbow on the back of the couch, head leaning against the palm of her right hand as she stared at the blonde, watching the way she was biting down on her thumbnail, obviously trying to avoid looking at Alex – instead choosing to glance at anything else, even the back of the head of the guy in front of her, just so that she wasn’t staring at Alex with the love and hurt in her eyes. Alex shuffled until she was sitting cross-legged, reaching to grab three sugar packets from the table, juggling them as she tried to keep her mind off the thoughts clouding her head. A cup was placed on the table in front of her, as the blonde sat on the other side of the table, a similar position to which Alex was sat. “You wanted to talk, talk.” Alex spoke bitterly as she took the lid of her cup to pour the sugar in from the packets she’d previously been messing with.

 

“I’m sorry.” She said causing Alex to scoff and roll her eyes as she emptied the first packet into the cup. “Three months after I left and you’re finally apologizing? I suppose I should be grateful.” Alex huffed as she emptied the following two in and started stirring the coffee. “I know you’re mad at me.”

 

“Mad doesn’t even begin to tip the iceberg Hannah.” Alex let her name roll off her tongue like the sound of name didn’t taste bitter. “Do you have any idea what you did? How much you hurt me?” Alex asked, placing the lid back on her coffee and bringing the cup to her lips. “I know what I did was stupid.” Hannah mused, “I never wanted to hurt you.”

 

“So, you thought leaving me wouldn’t hurt?”

 

“I never said that, and I never left Alex – you did.” Hannah responded causing Alex to whip her head around to face the girl. “That’s rich. You want to know why I left.” Alex narrowed her eyes before continuing to talk not even giving Hannah a chance to reply. “I left because I was faced with waking up every day knowing I would have to see you, have to think about what happened, how much you hurt me, I had to watch you laugh with our teammates whilst I sat off to the side trying to stop myself from crying in front of everyone, I left because you left me with no choice.” Alex stopped herself before she talked herself into an onslaught of public tears. “Alex, please,” Hannah tried to reach out to the brunette but Alex shuffled backwards, just out of her grip. The conversation fell silent, Alex sipping on the coffee as the question she wanted to ask her swirled around in her head, she needed to know, and she wanted to know. “Why did you want to leave without telling me?”

 

Hannah dropped her head at the question; she knew she’d have to answer it eventually, she knew Alex deserved to know, but she knew that if she told her why she wanted to leave Cal – she’d only break her ex girlfriend’s heart further. Hannah put her drink on the table, “if I tell you; you need to remember that I loved you and it wasn’t supposed to happen.” Hannah started, her voice wavering towards the end as Alex forced herself to look at the blonde, to see the tears filling the grey eyes, dulling them to a point where they were anything above black. “You remember what we talked about, the day of the USC game last year?”

 

~

 

_“I just don’t see why this is a big deal.” Hannah huffed letting herself fall back on her bed, staring at the ceiling instead of her girlfriend stood at the front of the room. “Hannah, we’ve talked about this.”_

 

_“No Alex, I’ve talked about this – you’ve never offered up any significant response. Why can’t we just tell your family we’re dating, it’s been two months.”_

 

_“Hannah, babe.” Alex walked around and sat on the edge of the bed, her hand moving rest just under the blonde’s ribcage. “My family have no idea I’m gay, I’m not saying it’s a big deal but I want to tell them myself in person before I bring you home and announce that we’ve been dating since Halloween.” Alex spoke, trying to reason with the younger girl who was still having none of it; Hannah rolled her eyes and avoided looking in Alex’s direction._

 

_“You promised you’d tell them at Thanksgiving,” Hannah pointed out, Alex sighed. “I would’ve but my Aunt was in that car accident, remember?”_

 

_“That was four days after, Alex – you’re just making excuses. Are you ashamed of me?”_

 

_“You’re kidding right?” Alex asked, her voice tired and annoyed at the prospect of Hannah even thinking that. Hannah sat up, forcing Alex to drop her hand back down to her side, “No I’m not kidding. Why else would you continuously put off telling your parents if it’s ‘not a big deal?’” Hannah’s voice was beginning to rise, signaling that they were heading into the argument Alex had tried so hard to avoid during this trip – she does not need this with just hours to go before the USC game. Alex stood up and walked back over to her own bed. “Alex, this is stupid – if you’re so desperate to hide me away forever then just tell me, I’m not going to waste my time dating you.”_

 

_“Stop overreacting, you’ll give yourself a nosebleed.” Alex muttered, eyes fixated on her phone where she was texting Hope. Hannah huffed as she stood at the end of Alex’s bed, arms folded and glaring at her._

 

_“Alex, if you don’t tell your family before Rachel’s birthday on Saturday, I’m breaking up with you.” Hannah said, facing Alex with an ultimatum. Alex dropped her phone to the side and sat up, staring up at Hannah._

 

_“You can’t just force me into telling my family something so important on a timeframe.”_

 

_“I just did,” Hannah replied bitterly. “I am sick of hiding. Remember when Jeri came to visit last week, I heard you saying you were single – even though I already knew you would, it fucking hurt, ok?”_

 

_Alex sighed, “Hannah…” The brunette tried reaching out to her girlfriend who instantly backed off. “No, I’m not going to let you get yourself out of this with sex or whatever you wanted. I’m fucking serious, three days Alex.”_

 

_Alex could only sit and watch as Hannah left the room, slamming the door behind her. Three days, that wasn’t going to happen._

 

~

 

Needless to say, thanks to Cal’s two starting forwards not speaking to each other, the chemistry of the entire starting eleven crumbled and Cal fell to a humiliating 5-0 loss.

 

“So? I didn’t tell them and you didn’t break up with me. What’s your point?” Alex questioned, raising her eyebrows towards Hannah who was dragging the back of her hands across her cheeks to wipe away the tears. “Remember how you called me, confused and on the verge of tears when you told me your parents had ‘figured out’ you were gay?” Hannah brought up the situation, the midnight phone call that had a sleepy Hannah trying to calm down a hysterical Alex who must’ve thought of ten different theories on how her parents finally figured it out, bordering from maybe it’s because I play soccer, and love soccer to what if it’s because I always used to choose hanging out at one of the guys’ house to watch the Premier League instead of going on dates like my sisters. Hannah talked to Alex for nearly four hours until the tears had subsided and Alex drifted off to sleep, clutching her phone until Hannah finally realized she was asleep. “I’m sorry Alex; you need to remember I was really pissed off…” Hannah’s voice trailed off as the realization hit Alex causing the older girl’s eyes to widen. “YOU?” All eyes fell on the pair, causing Alex’s voice to soften as tears clouded her vision. “You told my parents I was gay? Behind my back, you’re the reason?”

 

“Let me finish; it was the night of Rachel’s birthday and I was drunk, not that drunk but still – I messaged Jeri and told her. I regretted it as soon as I sent it but then she replied, and I couldn’t help myself – I told her everything, about us, about your best friends who were actually your girlfriends, how the time you broke your arm when you were sixteen was not because of a bad fall when you were playing volleyball but because you slipped off the roof at your ex girlfriend’s house whilst you were drunk. I didn’t mean it but you were avoiding me and I was so mad at you, and myself. I never meant for it to happen.” Hannah stopped talking and let her gaze fall on Alex, the older was sat with tears falling down her cheeks, eyebrows furrowed as she stared at Hannah’s face. “W-Why?” Alex’s squeaked out, “W-Why would you do that to me?”

 

“I was angry Alex, I’m sorry.” Hannah bit the inside of her cheek, the anger bubbling inside Alex’s chest and the fury igniting every vein in her body was too much as the older girl stood up.

 

“You took away the hardest, most important moment of my life because you were mad? You listened to me cry over it for hours, promising me it would be ok and that my parents still loved me even though you knew it was your fault? That’s why you wanted to leave Cal isn’t it? You couldn’t face me after what you did, here was me thinking I’d done something to make you want to leave but it was you – it was always you.” Alex’s voice regained its usual composure as she pieced together everything from her last few months at Cal – and you think you have the audacity to be mad at me for leaving Cal? Are you out of your mind? The only reason I stuck around at Cal until the end of the year was you, leaving you was the hardest thing I thought I was ever going to do but it turns out, you’ve just made it a thousand times easier. To think I even felt guilty, screw you Hannah.”

 

By this point, Hannah was bawling her eyes out, she knew this was going to happen, she knew Alex was going to be angrier than she’d ever been before. Alex stood up, Hannah leaping up too as she grabbed her ex’s wrist, Alex spun around. “Don’t even think about trying to stop me leaving, I thought I might be able to forgive you for nearly leaving without telling me, but this, this is unforgiveable.” Alex spoke harshly, yanking her wrist out of Hannah’s grip. “I really fucking hate you.” Alex spat, turning and walking out leaving Hannah Wilkinson behind, without a second glance. Alex stormed down the street, back towards the apartment, she was ignited with unprecedented rage at what had just happened, Alex was completely out of it in the sense that she couldn’t tell if she wanted to cry and or punch the nearest thing to her, so she did neither. She just let herself fall numb as she rushed to get back to the apartment, she started running, and her legs ached the faster she ran, she ran until she ran into somebody. “Alex?” Kelley’s voice brought the forward out of her daze, Alex, for the second time in the space of ten minutes found herself crying in front of somebody as she threw herself into Kelley’s arms, holding the defender as tightly as she could with her eyes screwed shut as she tried to stop the tears spilling out of her eyes. Kelley felt unnerved at the sight of a visibly heartbroken Alex, thinking back to what she said just a few hours ago – she mentioned about how her past from Cal was stressing her out, maybe the situation was worse than Kelley assumed it was. The feel of Alex’s tears hitting Kelley’s neck had the defender feeling angry, so unbelievably pissed off at whatever or whoever had upset her this much. “Hey, Alex hey, let’s go to your room and talk for a bit ok?” Kelley suggested, feeling nervous, she was so used to trying to make people laugh when it came to seeing someone she cared about upset, but Kelley had a feeling a whole load of dark humor wasn’t going to fix this. Kelley felt Alex nod against her neck and took that as her cue to lead the forward into the building and up the stairs, their hands connected as Kelley walked ahead, Alex dragging her feet up the stairs, scuffing her shoes against the boarding. Kelley pushed open the door, and looked in first – Julie was the only one in the living room, still in the position on the floor with her laptop in front of her. “Hey JJ,” Kelley grinned. “Where’s dumb and dumber?”

 

“Gone to get food,” Julie smiled looking up from her laptop. Alex walked into the apartment and waved silently at Julie who suspected something was up and from the look on Kelley’s face begging her to let the freckled girl handle it, Julie nodded and said she’d catch them later. As Kelley tugged Alex down the hallway and into her room, she shut the door over. “Can you have a conversation with your eyes with everyone or is it a defender thing?” Alex asked, brightening up a little remembering a conversation entirely spoken through eye contact between Kelley and Emily last week. “It’s a KO thing.” Kelley smiled as Alex sat on her bed, kicking her shoes off and bringing her knees up to her chest, a tension beginning to fill the room again. Kelley stands by the door, debating over two things to say to Alex, either she can question her on what happened or just try and make her laugh from the off, even if she’s convinced it’d be a bad idea. “Kelley, stop standing by the door.” Alex’s raspy voice fills the room; Kelley pushed herself off the door and made her way over to the bed, sitting down close to the forward but not too close. “You want to talk about it?”

 

“Not really,” Alex mused, “you don’t have to go to the party tonight – if you’re upset.”

 

“No, no,” Alex turned to Kelley “I want to go, I think that’s exactly what I need – I need to have fun and who better to have to fun with than you?”

 

“I’m not arguing with that,” Kelley smirked, “I am pretty fun.” Kelley wiggled her eyebrows causing Alex to roll her eyes. “Again with the modesty Kell.”

 

Alex and Kelley fell back into their normal routine of Kelley saying something stupid and Alex rolling her eyes, three thumb war battles later, Alex pulled her hand away. “No Kelley, I’m not playing with you anymore, you’re going to break my thumb. I should probably start getting ready anyway,” Alex pushed herself off the bed and headed to her closet, pulling out a pair of jeans and struggling to decide between two shirts; one was a forest green tank top and the other was a lace up grey t-shirt, “the grey one,” Kelley smirked pulling it out of Alex’s grip, to which the forward raised her eyes. “You’ll look hot,”

 

“So I don’t look hot now?” Alex challenged, Kelley was up for the challenge too. “Do you really want me to answer that?” Kelley laughed tugging at Alex’s shirt that had coffee spilt down. Alex didn’t give the Kelley the benefit of answering and just took her clothes into the bathroom, hearing Kelley’s laughter until she’d locked the bathroom door. Alex started the shower running and pulled off her stained shirt and clothes before stepping into the shower. This is good; she needs a night where she can forget every single one of her problems.

 

Twenty minutes later and Alex is sat on her bedroom floor, hair now dry as she struggles to decide what to do with it. “Leave it down, it looks cute.”

 

“But it’s really hot out, and my hairs really long.” Alex argued, glancing over to Kelley who was lying on Alex’s bed. “I don’t want to spend ages doing anything with it though,” Alex sighed.

 

“Just leave it down Alex, it looks fine.” Kelley laughed standing up from the bed and taking up position on the floor beside the forward. “Are you sure you want to come? I’m fine with battling a beer pong tournament by myself.” Kelley let her chin rest on Alex’s shoulder. “Or I don’t have to go; I could make up an excuse.” Kelley added and Alex tried to ignore the feeling of blissful happiness that filled her stomach at the thought of Kelley blowing off the party to spend the night with her, even if she is depressed as anything right now. Alex waited a few seconds before replying simply with, “We’re going. I want to see you drunk.”

 

“I can handle my alcohol pretty well, thank you.”

 

“That’s not what Emily or Tobin says,” Alex laughed standing up as she pulled her shoes on. “Or Press for that matter, she told me about the time you passed out in the bathroom and when Tobin went to use it in the middle of the night, she tripped over you and banged her head against the cupboard – something about stitches?” Alex watched as Kelley offered up a sheepish smile to try and take the attention of her flushed cheeks. “It’s Tobin’s fault, she made me drink way too much and then was stupid enough not to turn the bathroom light on.” Walking into the living room, Syd and Moe had returned and the candy on the table had Alex shaking her head. “You guys are going to crash at like 9 PM, you know this right?” Alex asked sticking her head in-between Morgan and Sydney. “I think you’d give Paul a heart attack if he saw all this.” Alex laughed picking up a packet of skittles before throwing them up in the air where Morgan swiped them and dropped the packet in her lap. “They’re going to have a heart attack if they eat all of that.” JJ commented, still on her laptop but the wedding planning had been tossed aside for the time being. “Where are you two going?” Syd asked, struggling to grab the skittles out of Morgan’s grip. “A birthday party that we’re going to be late for, later guys.” Kelley threw a wave over her shoulder as interlocked her hand with Alex’s, the forward not missing the smirks and knowing glances from her three roommates as she was pulled out of the apartment. They headed downstairs and left the building, “so, what’s this girl’s name?” Alex asked as the pair started walking towards Kelley’s apartment to retrieve her car. “Taylor, she’s actually really nice – you’d probably like her.”

 

“I should hope so; I don’t want to turn up at the party of a girl I might hate.” Alex replied. “Ok genius, don’t be like that.” Kelley smirked unlocking her car and getting in with Alex following suit, “I’m going to leave my car at Ash’s – Taylor’s house is only five minutes away from there.” Kelley explained as she turned the ignition and pulled out. Alex’s phone vibrated in her pocket.

 

Alex I’m sorry, I really am. I know what I did was beyond forgivable, but you have to know I never meant what I said – I loved you, I still do. –

 

“Fuck off,” Alex huffed throwing her phone over her shoulder; it hit the back seat before bouncing and hitting the floor. Kelley glanced over at Alex who was staring straight ahead. “Alex, hey, what’s happened?” Kelley asked moving her right hand off the steering wheel and taking hold of Alex’s left hand, “is it the same thing that upset you before?” Kelley asked again. “It’s nothing, she’s not worth it.”

 

“Aren’t I the one supposed to reminding you whoever it is isn’t worth it?” Kelley asked, bringing a hint of a smile to Alex’s lips. “Trust me Kell; I know she’s not worth it.” Alex insisted, letting their joined hands fall to hanging in the middle of the two front seats. “Is she an ex?” Kelley asked after a couple of right turns. Alex sighed and let her head fall against the window, “yeah, the biggest mistake of my fucking life.” Alex huffed angrily, Kelley nodded nervously, wanting to avoid taking her eyes off the road for the fear of finding Alex on the verge of tears again from the way her breaths were becoming shakier. Kelley took a sharp left turn that had Alex jolting forward at the ferocity of the turn, “what the fuck Kell? Are you trying to get us killed?”

 

“Sorry,” Kelley smiled sheepishly, glancing between the upcoming red light and Alex sitting beside her, hands flat against her chest. “We’re going to take a detour.” Kelley stated driving down a dimly lit street before pulling up, rather quickly in front of a bar. “There’s going to be alcohol at Taylor’s party, why are we at a bar?”

 

“I want to talk,” Kelley responded turning the engine off. “And you think a loud, stuffy bar is the best place?” Alex asked, “oh god no, but they have alcohol.” Kelley laughed stepping out of the car with Alex quickly following. Kelley locked her car before reaching for Alex’s hand as Kelley walked into the bar, Alex was right – it was loud and stuffy. Kelley led Alex to the bar where she was waved over by a dark haired girl, “Hey Casey,” Kelley leant over the bar to ruffle the girl’s hair despite her protests and thinly veiled attempts to stop Kelley, leading the defender to start laughing. “Four shots?” Casey asked, noticing Alex standing behind Kelley. “You know it kid,” Casey turned around to grab the drinks as Kelley turned to Alex, the forward had a look of apprehension gracing her features as she looked around the bar, Casey came back with the shots and told Kelley they were on the house because they’re pals – whilst making sure her boss wasn’t in sight as she said it. “Now I know why you came here,” Alex’s voice was teasing as they held two shots each and headed towards a table at the back of the bar. “That is so not the reason I came here,” Kelley replied in mock offense, “it was part of the reason.” She added bringing a grin to Alex’s lips as they sat down. “You know I can’t hack shots right?”

 

“I remember, the first time I saw you I saw you reaching for a mixer instead of drinking the vodka straight.” Kelley smiled fondly as lifted the first shot to her lips, the vodka tingling against her lips as she waited for Alex to follow suit, Alex resisted at first but Kelley kept her gaze on the forward until she realized there was no backing out of it and picked the shot up, Kelley took hers with so much ease whereas Alex thought her throat was on fire, there’s a reason she will hardly ever drink shots. They took the second before pushing the glasses away, “I hate you.” Alex glared at Kelley who smiled goofily in response. “You love me,” Kelley laughed dragging out the words, “and you’ve been spending too much time with Tobin, go away.” Alex laughed pushing Kelley’s face away from hers. Kelley grabbed Casey’s attention from their table and yelled for two beers, “I thought we were going to the party?” Alex asked, not minding so much that she was in the bar anymore, “we are, technically it isn’t starting until 9 and it’s like 8 now, we have time – I turned up at your apartment nearly two hours before I said I would, remember?”

 

Not really, Alex was too focused on crying her eyes out at the new revelation she’d been dealt. Casey appeared at the table and placed two beers down, this time Kelley wasn’t getting away without paying because Casey’s boss was stood a table down from theirs. Alex sipped on her beer slowly, “how do you know and Casey know each other?” Alex asked and Kelley nearly chokes on her beer, forcing herself to swallow and Alex thinks she doesn’t want to hear the story, she swears she does not want to hear that they dated or hooked up or god knows what. Kelley took another sip of beer for effect before turning to Alex. “I was drunk in sophomore year, like really drunk to the point of blacking out when I stumbled to what I thought was Ali’s house, it wasn’t by the way – it was Casey’s and I kind of threw up on her doorstep and passed out – when I woke up she was standing above me glaring at me, like if looks could kill glaring at me. I tried to fumble out an apology when she started laughing and told me it’d make for blackmail one day – we’ve been friends since.” Kelley finished talking and Alex is staring at her like she’s gone insane, Kelley can’t say she blames her. “That is really not what I expected you to say,” Alex speaks in disbelief. “You thought we dated didn’t you?”

 

Alex didn’t answer the question as she chose to instead bring the beer back to her lips, “There’s no need to be jealous.” Kelley mumbled moving closer until she was able to press a kiss to Alex’s cheek. “I wasn’t jealous.” Alex argued, “Ok – so the bitchy expression and the initial daggers you sent to Casey were nothing?” Kelley spoke amusedly, poking Alex’s cheek until the forward swatted her hand away. “It’s ok to be jealous, I’d be jealous if it was you.”

 

What was Alex supposed to do with that comment?

 

~

 

They drank two more beers each before they stumbled out of the bar, Kelley had her arm hooked around Alex’s neck as they walked to the car, Kelley fumbling around for her keys for a good minute when she finally pulled them out but Alex was quick to take them from her, despite Kelley’s protests. “No way, I do not trust you to drive like this.”

 

“I’m not drunk.” Kelley insisted but her hazy eyes and lopsided smile told Alex everything she needed to know, “y-you’ve drank the same as me.” Kelley reminded the forward, Alex sighed, she was right. “How far is Taylor’s? Or do we get an Uber?”

 

“We’ll be quicker walking to Taylor’s than the time it would take for an Uber to get here.” Kelley mumbled, leaning up so that her head was resting against Alex’s shoulder, the forward sighed and conceded that they were going to be walking for a while, she pocketed Kelley’s car keys and the pair began walking down the street, careful to not get run over as Alex tried and failed the majority of the time to receive actual directions to Taylor’s house. Alex was calm, as long as she found Ali’s house she knew she’d be in a good position, even if they don’t make it to the party – they’ll make it to somebody’s they knew. “Kelley, stop – you’re going to get yourself killed.” Alex deadpanned pulling the defender back onto the sidewalk for the fifth time, raising her hand shyly to the driver who had to slam on his brakes to avoid knocking Kelley down. The breeze was beginning to speed up, signaling night had all but completely fallen as the wind blowing in Kelley’s face began to sober the defender up, a lot more to the point where she was actually giving Alex directions that made sense rather than ‘look for the trashcan that Tobin threw up in because she couldn’t handle tequila.’ - Like seriously, how was Alex supposed to know where that was?

 

After thirty minutes of walking, twenty minutes of listening to Kelley ramble on drunkenly, despite insisting she wasn’t drunk, and ten minutes of Alex freezing her ass off in the wind, they’d made it to the party in one piece. Kelley tucked her hand into Alex’s as she walked ahead into the house, “drinks first, find Taylor second.” Kelley spoke aloud, as she bumped into various girls and guys, unapologetically whereas Alex mumbled out a few feeble apologies here and there as Kelley reached the counter and grabbed some vodka, making sure she found a mixer for Alex’s. She made the drinks and handed Alex’s hers, “let’s go and find Taylor, if I know her well enough – she’ll be outside trying to compete with the guys in some sort of keg competition.” Kelley smiled fondly, rolling her eyes as she and Alex made their way outside, she was right, and of course she was. From what Alex could see Taylor was tall and had blonde hair reaching just past her ribcage.

 

“YO LOWTON; TRYING TO COMPETE WITH THE GUYS AGAIN?” Kelley yelled over, her voice significantly louder than the music coming from inside, her voice reaching that of the birthday girl’s ears as she smiled, waved and jogged over. She walked over and messed up Kelley’s hair, “you know me O’Hara. I wasn’t trying to compete, I was winning all the way dude.”

 

“Of course you were kiddo,” Kelley laughed returning the favor and ruffling Taylor’s hair. “Happy birthday by the way, how does it feel to finally be legal?”

 

“That I can now feel less guilty about waking up hungover in somebody’s backyard? It feels pretty fucking good.” Taylor smiled before turning and noticing Alex, “hey, I’m Taylor.”

 

“Alex,” the forward replied as Kelley slipped her arm around Alex’s waist. “Well Alex, it’s lovely to meet you. Welcome to my house, enjoy the party-” She was about to continue when she heard a smash from inside, “Excuse me you two.” She smiled apologetically, before running into the house. “DE LUCA IF YOU’VE BROKEN SOMETHING I WILL KILL YOU.”

 

“Taylor seems nice,” Alex commented taking a sip of her drink. “She’s pretty cool, she was my best friend at camp, we’re pretty similar girls.”

 

“O’Hara, long nice no see buddy,” Kelley’s attention turned to the epitome of all cliché frat boys. “There’s a beer pong tournament happening downstairs now, you in? You know if you play we’ll destroy the other team…” He spoke, trailing off at the end when he saw Kelley trying to hide her smirk; she turned around to Alex though. “You don’t mind if I play right?” She asked, “You don’t need my permission Kell.” Alex smiled softly, “I know, I just wanted to make sure.”

 

“I want you to play; I want to see if the rumors are true.” Kelley grinned at Alex’s words and downed the rest of her drink. “Let’s go dude,” Kelley pat the guy on the back but not before he turned around and introduced himself to Alex, his name was Adam and according to him, yes; the rumors are true. Kelley kept her hand in Alex’s as they headed down to the basement where a roar of cheers was heard as they descended the stairs. “KELLEY”

 

Kelley let Alex’s hand go for a second, Alex almost whining at the loss of contact as she walked over to hug a group of guys, all who started instantly singing her praises and essentially but rather badly trash talking the other team. Kelley waved for Alex to walk over, she did and Kelley with her signature smirk asked. “Do I get a good luck kiss?”

 

“No, but if you win I’ll kiss you.” Alex leant closer, her lips brushing Kelley’s before she leant back and positioned herself against the wall to watch the contest unfold. A blonde girl, Hayley stood next to Alex and the pair started to talk, Alex later finding out that she was Adam’s girlfriend, before making Alex blush when she asked if she was Kelley’s, Hayley handed Alex a beer as they cheered for Kelley’s team, laughing at the banter and after a couple more drinks joining in with the trash talking much to Kelley and Adam’s amusement. Kelley made three shots in a row and was triumphant in practically defeating the other team. Adam stood behind Kelley with her hands on her shoulders, “make this and you’re a legend O’Hara.” Kelley scoffed, “I’m a legend now Johnson.” Alex, from her position laughed and rolled her eyes again at Kelley’s lack of modesty that wouldn’t usually be, but was so damn attractive on the defender. Kelley narrowed her eyes as she threw the ball up and caught it. “Do you think she’ll make it?” Hayley asked, letting her head fall against Alex’s shoulder, Alex looked over at Kelley who caught her gaze and winked. “Yeah, yeah she’ll make it.” Alex answered. Kelley took the shot and made it with so much ease; that was celebrated by Adam pushing a plastic cup of tequila into her hand with chants of down it echoing around the dingy basement and everyone knows Kelley O’Hara is not one to shy away from a challenge. Hayley and Alex stood off to the side, talking and drinking at a much slower rate than everyone else. Sometime later, Kelley stumbled over to Alex and slipped her arms around Alex’s waist, nuzzling her face into Alex’s neck. “A-Air, d-drink” Kelley stammered.

 

“You want another drink and to go outside?” Alex asked for clarification. She felt Kelley nod and excused herself from Hayley and took Kelley upstairs, they walked into the kitchen as Alex grabbed two empty cups whilst Kelley looked around before swiping a near full bottle of tequila from the counter and pushed Alex out of the house and down towards the bottom of the garden away from the noise. They sat down, cross-legged as Kelley drunkenly tried to pour some of the liquor into the cups but ended up spilling a lot over the grass, Alex took the bottle from Kelley and set it beside her as they raised their cups to whatever nonsense Kelley was cheering to before drinking it in one, the alcohol burning Alex’s throat as it went down, she coughed and winced at the taste, leading Kelley to laugh. They drank and drank until the bottle was empty and discarded off to the side; Alex let the alcohol go to her head pretty quickly and cringed at the pain in her head as Kelley brought her down until her head was in her lap as she gently stroked Alex’s hair. “You really can’t handle it can you?” Kelley asked, laughing as Alex mumbled out an incoherent response. Alex spoke up again a few seconds later, her voice still muffled by Kelley’s jeans. “What did you say babe?” Kelley asked rubbing Alex’s back and forcing the forward to sit up, Alex lifted herself up but not without holding a hand to her head to try and numb the banging headache she was getting.

 

“… She told my family I was gay, she told them about all my girlfriends. She stole that from me and I’ll – I’ll never get that back Kell!” Alex’s voice rose with every word as did the tears clouding her vision that Kelley couldn’t decipher from her being drunk or genuinely upset. “I loved her Kell, she was the best girlfriend I – I ever had and she – she did that!” Alex cried out slamming her hand against the grass. Kelley just listened, watching as Alex struggled to wipe away her tears before another onslaught began. Alex tried to say something else but Kelley was quick to shush her and bring her into a hug, Kelley sighed and closed her eyes as Alex’s tears subsided, she’d never met this girl but Kelley was already a hundred percent sure she was going to kill her. “Can I stay with you?” Alex’s question was quiet but Kelley smiled,

 

“Yeah, yeah – let’s go back to mine.” Kelley stood up and held Alex’s hands as she brought the forward to her feet, holding her when she stumbled, wrapping her arms around Alex’s waist, she led her back to the house catching Taylor’s attention and telling her they were leaving, she waved before being dragged away to enter a dancing competition. Kelley pulled her phone out of her pocket and called an Uber, knowing she couldn’t exactly remember where her car was parked and it was way too far to walk. Standing outside the house, Alex leant against Kelley, grabbing hold of Kelley’s free hand as she mumbled out how tired she was. “I know babe, we’ll be home soon ok?”

 

“Ok, do you dogs have accents?” Alex asked, Kelley rolled her eyes, “yeah Alex; I think my dog secretly sounds like Beyonce.”

 

“I think mine sounds like Ronaldo. I don’t know, he seems Spanish.”

 

“Ronaldo is Portuguese you goof.” Kelley corrected, holding Alex closer to her as she felt the forward begin to fall asleep against her shoulder. Luckily, the Uber arrived within the next ten minutes, Alex fell asleep in the Uber, face squished unattractively against the window as Kelley made sleepy small talk with the driver, but mostly her gaze was on Alex, Kelley found herself smiling like a fool at the girl beside her. “You two are cute; it’s nice to know love still exists in young people.”

 

Kelley didn’t even argue,

 

Once they arrived back at Kelley’s apartment building, she tried and struggled to pull Alex from her slumber but once she did, Alex was grumpy and refusing to move. Kelley stood with her hands on her hips, “Get out of the car Alex. Alex, seriously, come on, we can go to bed.”

 

“BED”

 

Kelley flinched at the sound of Alex’s yell as she clumsily climbed out of the car, taking instant hold of Kelley’s hand as the defender waved to the driver and led her into the building, up the stairs and to the door. Kelley yawned as she pushed open the door; it was way past midnight now so she wasn’t surprised when she saw the living room empty with the lights off. Not bothering to turn the lights on, Kelley led Alex to her bedroom and sat the forward down on the bed as she walked to her closet and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt before throwing them on the bed beside Alex, she walked over and stood in front of Alex. “Hey, put these on ok? I’ll be back in a minute.” Kelley walked back and grabbed her own clothes before exiting her room and heading to the bathroom to get changed and throw her clothes in the laundry, Kelley walked through the apartment to the kitchen to find the plastic bowl Christen keeps under the sink for when Tobin’s had too much to drink, she grabbed it and walked to the fridge to grab two bottles of water before heading back to her own room. “Kell?” A sleepy voice pulled the girl’s attention away. “Hey Press, did I wake you?”

 

“No no,” Christen said with a wave of her hand, “I was just getting up to use the bathroom. What’s with the bowl and water?” She asked, feeling a little more awake.

 

“Alex is in my room, she’s pretty drunk.” Kelley explained and Christen nodded in understanding.

 

“Ok, night Kell.”

 

“Night Chris,” Kelley smiled before slipping back into her room, Alex’s discarded clothes were covering her floor as the defender chuckled at the sight of Alex asleep, limbs hanging out of the bed, hair flying in all directions, and lips parted. Kelley walked over and let the bowl drop in front of the bed, she took a few sips from one of the bottles of water, before placing them both on the nightstand. She pulled back her covers and climbed into bed, careful not to stand on Alex as she lay down in bed, pulling the covers over the both of them. Kelley leant over and kissed the side of Alex’s head, “night Alex. Please don’t throw up in my room.” Kelley fell back against her pillows and closed her eyes, her arm over Alex’s stomach, drifting into a sea of nothingness, but warmth from the girl she was holding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THAT (i'm kidding you might've)
> 
> also, i'm like literally obsessed with hannah wilkinson


	7. I Like Soccer Players

Kelley woke up before Alex the following morning, she opened her eyes and took a brief second to remember it was Alex beside her asleep and not some random girl, those days were over. Kelley carefully moved around her bed until she was able to stand up from her bed, turning around and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes for a brief moment; before she walked over to Alex and gently shoved her back further, only because if Alex shuffles across the bed another inch she was going to make contact with the floor. Kelley slowly hauled herself out of her room and down the hall; she lifted her head to find Tobin stood in front of her, swinging back and forth on her heels. “So, Chris says Alex is in your room?” Tobin asked, a smirk making its gradual way onto the midfielder’s lips. “Wipe that smirk off your face immediately Heath.” Kelley grumbled walking past Tobin to go and grab some coffee, “How else am I supposed to react? Isn’t this what you’ve wanted since you met Alex?” Tobin continued to press the situation and Kelley wishes Tobin would revert back to her old style of keeping her mouth shut, the question caused Kelley to sigh though, she turned around to look at Tobin whilst running a hand through her hair. “I thought I wanted that Tobs; it turns out I care too much.”

 

“You care about her? Like seriously, girlfriend kinda care?” Tobin asked, the surprise was evident in the midfielder’s voice as Kelley shrugged, biting down on her nail. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves Tobin. She was just really drunk last night, so I brought her back here.”

 

“Did you or did you not fall asleep with your arms around her?” Tobin asked, raising her eyebrows as Kelley turned around to pour herself a cup of coffee. Tobin took Kelley’s silence for a yes and started laughing. Kelley spun around, holding the mug in her right hand. “You’re the worst.” She deadpanned as she walked into the living room, taking up position on the couch but Tobin wasn’t done, and she slid across the floor and threw herself over the side of the couch beside Kelley causing the defender to roll her eyes. “You’re not going to hurt her are you?” Tobin asked her tone a lot more serious this time. Kelley scoffed, “What do you think I am Tobs? – Wait don’t answer that.” Kelley dismissed the question with a wave of her hand. “Tobin. It’s too early in the morning for us to be having a serious talk, can you just drop it?” Kelley asked, her eyes pleading with Tobin’s. Tobin nodded just as Christen trudged into the living room and sat down on the other couch, Tobin instantly moving to sit down beside Christen and wrap her arms around the raven haired girl, “morning Tobs” Christen leant back into the midfielder’s touch. “How’s Alex?” Christen asked Kelley who was staring at the wall ahead of her. “Asleep, I’m going to check on her.” Kelley placed her mug on the table, Tobin didn’t miss the glare that Kelley sent her as the defender headed down the hall and slipped back into her room. Alex was sitting up, one of the bottles of water in her hand with her other hand clutching her head. Kelley padded over to the bed and let her hand fall on Alex’s knee, “how do you feel?” Kelley asked softly as Alex shook her head in response. “It hurts.”

 

“Your head or what you told me?” Kelley questioned; Alex lifted her head and Kelley sighed at how glazed over her eyes were, the defender sat on the bed in front of Alex. “Both.” Alex breathed out shakily, “my head hurts the most though.”

 

There’d been a question that Kelley had wanted to know the answer to since last night, “who is she? Is she a soccer player..?” Kelley asked and Alex nodded in response, “you’ve played against her before. It’s Hannah Wilkinson.” Alex laughed bitterly, the name making Alex want to punch the nearest wall. Kelley furrowed her eyebrows, “Hannah?”

 

“Don’t act so surprised,” Alex muttered. “I’m not, I just – yeah, I am surprised.” Alex looked up and chuckled softly at Kelley’s confused expression. “You want to go into the living room, I have coffee?”

 

“Have I ever told you how much I like you?” Alex grinned slowly moving off the bed, “No, not as often as I want to hear it.” Kelley answered; Alex looked over her shoulder “you’re ridiculous.” Alex walked into the living room and took a seat on the couch, Tobin was smirking at her. “Good night Morgan?” She asked wiggling her eyebrows for effect. Alex leant forward, “I’d tell you Heath but then I’d have to kill you.” Alex smirked back as Tobin fumbled for a response before she pouted and leant back into Christen’s side, the forward lifting her head up from her phone and smiling down at Tobin who was looking up at her through her eyelashes. “What’cha doing Press?”

 

“It’s a surprise,” Christen whispered leaning down to leave a lingering kiss on Tobin’s cheek. “Morning Alex, how’d you feel?” Christen asked turning her attention to her strike partner, Alex shrugged. “I don’t feel so bad; my head just hurts a lot.”

 

“Seriously Chris; you’re not going to tell me what this surprise is?” Tobin interjected, eyebrows furrowed as she tried to reach for the older girl’s phone. “Tobin stop,” Christen stared down the midfielder but the look didn’t stop and tried once more to grab the phone when Christen stood up leading Tobin to face plant the couch, Christen stood above her grinning down at Tobin. The midfielder looked up, “you suck so much Press.”

 

“Shut up Tobin; just sit up.” Christen chided as Tobin did what she told and Christen retook her seat on the couch. “It’s a surprise babe; you’ll find out what it is soon enough.” Christen laughed but wanting nothing more than to kiss the pout off Tobin’s lips, she blushed as she turned back to her phone and continued to type away as Kelley handed Alex some coffee to which she accepted gratefully, Kelley hopped over and threw herself on Christen’s lap, earning a groan and a roll of her eyes from Christen as Kelley looked down at her phone before whispering in Christen’s ear. “You know about it too?” Tobin asked sulkily.

 

“Tobs,” Kelley looked over Christen’s shoulder. “It was our idea you goof. That reminds me, I have to go and pick up my car.” Kelley snapped her fingers as she stood up and walked around the back of the couch pressing a kiss to Alex’s head. “Tobin Heath, you best look after her.” Kelley warned before scurrying off to her room. Alex watched Kelley go, a lazy smile on her face until she was out of sight. “Uh Morgan; what’s up with O’Hara heart eyes?” Tobin laughed leading Alex to whip her around to look at the midfielder before grabbing her head when a sharp shooting pain hit. “Who’s got O’Hara heart eyes?” Alyssa asked shuffling into the living room before stretching and sitting down on the couch. Alex tugged her bottom lip between her teeth as Tobin answered, “Alex.”

 

“You’re only just noticing this now Tobs?” Alyssa raised her eyebrows. “The heart eyes have always been there.” Alyssa added, Alex looked between both girls. “Excuse me, no they haven’t.”

 

“You keep telling yourself that Alex; don’t worry, we tease Tobin over the way she is a sucker for everything Christen does.”

 

“Who’s a sucker for everything I do?” Christen asked lifting her head from her phone for a brief second, Tobin stared Alyssa down but even that wasn’t going to deter the goalkeeper. “Tobin.” She smirked in Tobin’s direction, Christen locked her phone and set it beside her, “oh that? I know.” Christen leant over and wrapped her arms around Tobin’s neck, hugging the brunette close to her. “Don’t worry Tobin; I think you’re cute.” Christen kissed the side of Tobin’s head. Kelley appeared in the living room, dressed and ready to go and retrieve her car. “You should probably call JJ or something; they might think you’re dead.” Kelley told her handing her phone to Alex, it was unlocked and Alex rolled her eyes at the background picture of Kelley being tackled by two dogs. “I’ll be back later guys.” Kelley waved over her shoulder, the car keys in her hand. Alex scrolled through Kelley’s contacts until she found Julie’s number and walking into the kitchen, she called it and only waited two rings for the defender to answer.

 

“Kelley? Have you seen Alex?” Julie’s voice was full of concern. “It is Alex; I left my phone in Kelley’s car.”

 

“Alex,” Julie breathed out the biggest sight of relief. “We thought you died, you’re going to have like sixty missed calls on your phone – what happened?”

 

“I was a slightly drunk, I just crashed here.” Alex shrugged, sticking her tongue between her teeth. Alex swore she could see Julie rolling her eyes on the other line, “you know Syd suggested we send a search party out for you?”

 

“I didn’t need a search party; I was with Kelley for the entire night anyway.” Alex laughed. “What happened to Moe and Syd? Did they crash from eating all the candy?”

 

“Moe crashed at eight holding a packet of skittles that ended up all over the floor and Syd fell asleep around nine but woke up around midnight.”

 

“Sounds like a fun night, how’s the wedding planning?” Alex questioned hoisting herself up onto the counter, “oh don’t even start me on that. That’s the last time I ever do something nice for my sister; also, how was your night? It must’ve been fun…”

 

Smiling, “Yeah; it was pretty good.”

 

“I know you’re hiding details from me and I’m going to find out what they are. I’ll see you when you’re home?”

 

“Yeah, love you JJ.”

 

“Love you too Alex.”

 

The call ended and Alex held her phone in her hand, the phone vibrated in her hand and almost as a reflex, Alex glanced down and let her eyes scan over the text from the unknown number – even though she knew she shouldn’t have,

 

Kelley. You promised I could see you again, you owe me babe. –

 

Alex placed the phone on the counter wordlessly, she hopped down and stalked off back to the bedroom to gather up her clothes, she wasn’t going to let this get to her, but she also wasn’t going to be in the apartment when Kelley got back. She carefully folded her clothes before holding them under her left arm as she pulled on her shoes, looking in the mirror, Alex looked like the definition of the morning after, mascara and eyeliner smudged, hair disheveled in such a manner that Alex knew she was going to spend an hour trying to brush out – honestly, she knew she was going to forget all of that in favor of her bed and sleeping until she felt better. She walked back into the living room and announced to the three that she was leaving and that she’d probably not see them for the rest of the day but she’d see them at training tomorrow, trying to forget the fact that tomorrow was Monday which meant classes were starting. Tobin and Alyssa waved back, their attention remaining on the game of FIFA they were currently battling in, Christen was the only one who noticed a trace of something on Alex’s face and she wanted to question her on it but Alex looked anxious and determined to leave so Christen let it drop but not before giving her a hug and reminding her she could call her if something was up, Alex sighed knowing that Christen noticed something. Alex left the apartment and walked out of the building before heading back to her own, she checked her pockets for her own phone when she remembered Kelley had it; she can go a day without using it. She walked into her building and up the stairs, once she reached her apartment and after waving to one of the younger girl’s on the team she pushed open the door and walked into the apartment where she had barely walked over the threshold when she was brought into a hug by Julie, who was holding her so tightly Alex was convinced she was going to suffocate. Alex hugged her back but then reminded the defender that she needed to breathe; Julie let her go and stood back. “I’m so glad you’re ok,”

 

“I told you I was. I wouldn’t have done something stupid.” Alex reminded her, “yeah.” JJ laughed, “Sometimes I forget you’re not Syd.”

 

“Who’s not Syd?” Morgan asked walking into view. “Alex dude, you’re home and alive.”

 

“You’re very observant Moe.” Alex quipped eliciting a smile from Moe as the midfielder grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. “I’m going to get a shower guys, what are we doing today?”

 

“Cry over classes starting tomorrow!” Moe announced, sitting at the counter. “Of course we are,” Alex laughed as she headed off down the hall to the bathroom.

 

~

 

The next three days passed in a blur, between classes and training and getting ready for their opening home game against Notre Dame; everyone hadn’t seen each other as much as they’d like, except for training but Paul had been on edge for the past few days and training sessions were tough as all he did was yell and call his players out on the littlest thing. “Maybe he hasn’t gotten laid in a while.” Tobin suggested as she, Alex and Christen headed towards the field for their final training before the game tomorrow night. “That could explain his mood swings.” Tobin added as she took a sip from the water bottle in her hand. “How realistic is that though Tobin?” Christen asked stealing the bottle for a drink herself, “it’s plausible,” Alex mused. “I mean come on; the guy has been slowly killing us since Monday. Something must’ve pissed him off.”

 

“What’s pissed who off?” Meghan asked running up behind Tobin and bringing her favorite midfielder into a headlock that had Tobin trying and failing to scramble free from. “Paul,” Christen answered moving so that she was stood in the middle of Alex and Meghan. “Tobin thinks his mood swings are because he needs to get laid.”

 

“I agree,” Meghan responded raising her left eyebrow at Christen. “Why else would he be such a pain in the ass?” Meghan asked and nobody missed the glistening twinkle in Tobin’s eyes as she bit down on her bottom lip to avoid saying what she wanted to respond with, that didn’t stop her though “maybe if he got-”

 

“Tobin don’t, I don’t want the nightmares.” Christen squealed, throwing up a disgusted face causing the midfielder to laugh as they approached the field. They dropped their stuff and jogged onto the pitch, all splitting up and heading off to various different teammates. Tobin heading off to Cheney and ARod, Christen finding JJ, Meghan finding Morgan and Emily and Alex finding Ali and Ashlyn; Alex snuck up behind Ashlyn and leapt onto the keeper’s back, nearly sending her flying forward in the process as Alex leant over Ashlyn’s shoulder and smiled, “you’re lucky you’re cute Alex.”

 

“A compliment from Ashlyn Harris, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Alex laughed draping her arms over the keeper’s shoulders. “Her brother’s flying in to watch the game tomorrow before he has to head back home.” Ali answered,

 

“That’s so cool Ash,” Alex grinned, “here we go.” Ali spoke lowly as Ash turned around with Alex still clinging to her back as Paul came into view. The entire team headed towards the sideline as they tried to decide what mood their coach was in. Paul looked around and sighed as he put his hands on his hips, “Where’s O’Hara this time?” His question was directed to Kelley’s three roommates who all shrugged, Tobin and Christen exchanged a couple of mouthed words until Christen vehemently shook her head. “We haven’t seen her Coach.” Tobin replied leaning into Christen’s side as Paul rolled his eyes, “right, warm ups; NOW.” Alex hopped off Ashlyn’s back and jogged over to the rest of their teammates with Ali; Becky took over directing the rest of the girl’s – instructions that were met with snarky comments from a frustrated Sydney Leroux and threats of running laps until the the moon came out from their Captain. It’s hardly a good thing for the team to be in such low spirits with just over twenty-four hours before they play. Ten minutes of warm ups were then met with balls being distributed and teammates flanking to their best friends, Alex headed towards JJ when her wrist was tugged gently and she was met with Christen. “Be my partner?” She asked, her eyes glancing over to Tobin who was rolling her eyes, “yeah sure.” Alex nodded before sending a shrug over to Julie who understood and instead grabbed Morgan before Sam could. “Is everything ok? Usually you’re with Tobin…”

 

“It’s nothing,”

 

“Is it what you were shaking your head at when Coach asked about Kelley?” Alex asked dropping the ball to her feet and letting her right foot fall on top of it. “You saw that huh? It’s nothing; she’ll be over it by tonight.” Alex passed the ball to Christen, “hey; are you mad at Kell?” Christen asked juggling the ball for a few seconds before sending it back. Alex sighed and stopped the ball, apart from a few choice words here and there and Kelley giving Alex her phone back, they hadn’t really talked but Alex was chalking it down to being tired. “No, no of course not,”

 

“I know you’re lying.” Christen looked up. “You’ve been acting weird since Sunday; you left pretty quickly after you called JJ.”

 

“PRESS, MORGAN YOU’RE NOT HERE TO JUST STAND AROUND CHATTING.” Paul’s voice boomed from close by, “go and join Heath and Klingenberg.” Alex flicked the ball up before throwing it towards the sideline and jogging over to the other two who were waiting. “Kling, you’re in the middle first.”

 

“Why?” The defender whined, “I’m always in the middle – stop discriminating against me because I’m short.” Meghan glared at Tobin who just pushed her into the middle anyway. Tobin flicked the ball up and sent it over Meghan’s head for Alex to chest down before passing it through the defender’s legs to Christen. The aim of the drill was for Meghan to try and retrieve the ball from any of the three but let’s be real, she was never going to get it with Tobin and Alex looping balls nearly six foot high over the defender’s head, and taking amusement from it. After ten minutes of trying as hard as she could to take back possession, the whistle was blown and Meghan was relieved to finally be done with such a stupid idea for a drill. The next drill was set up with four teams of five; five attackers and five defenders, again the objective – the defenders had to steal the ball from the attackers, simple really, not simple when Tobin was practically killing the defensive team all on her own with six or seven tricks a minute. Tobin slid past Emily leaving the defender to fall on her ass and huff out as she stared at the sky. “I should be grateful we have you Tobs but can you just not?” Sonnett muttered before standing up.

 

“O’HARA.”

 

Kelley stopped walking and let her shoulders slump when she heard Paul yell for her, here we go again. Kelley shuffled over to her coach and stood in front of him, arms folded and waited for the verbal beating she was sure to receive this time. “This is the sixth time in the last two weeks you haven’t turned up on time?”

 

“I know.”

 

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Paul questioned, intensely staring down at his defender who maintained confident under his gaze despite her mind running a mile a minute. “Not particularly,” Kelley shrugged, scratching away at the label on her water bottle, “can I just go and run my laps now?” Kelley asked, Paul conceded and sighed before telling her twenty-seven minutes. Kelley shrugged and took off running. “RIGHT, PHASE OF PLAY GIRLS. SORT YOUR OWN TEAMS OF TWELVE OUT.” Paul shouted over, the current drill stopped and the players’ began setting up the next one. On one side; Ali, Emily, Meghan and Becky with Morgan and Cheney in front as the defensive midfielders with the Tobin, Mewy, Allie and JJ being thrown in midfield with Christen and Alex up front – simple, the defense had to stop the attack. Tobin and Allie were gesturing wildly as they offered up three different sets of tactics, Alex looked over as Kelley jogged around the side of the pitch, a scowl set firmly on her face, or was it a look of determination? No, it was without a doubt a scowl. “Don’t worry about her,” Christen whispered into Alex’s ear and bringing her striker partner’s attention back to the game in hand. They set themselves up and once the game began, Emily Sonnett decided to use her unconventional methods of distraction instead of defending to try and put Christen off whilst Becky glued herself to Alex’s side to not give the forward a chance at goal, unfortunately for the two center backs that gave Allie a free reign and she took it, running through the defense and slotting the ball into the empty goal. “You four better not defend like that tomorrow.” The blonde chimed as she took her hair out of her ponytail and redid it, just as messily. “She’s got a point,” Meghan accorded. “Don’t act like this is on us, you and Ali didn’t help.” Sonnett rolled her eyes overdramatically for effect. “Are we really going to argue over this?” Ali questioned, her gaze falling on her defenders. “It’s a training exercise; there is no need for us to take it so seriously.”

 

“Speak for yourself Kriegs; I think Becky’s ‘bout to kill someone.” Emily nodded towards their captain who was glowering in the general direction of her teammates. “I wouldn’t worry; she’ll probably just make Syd run a hundred laps to feed her anger.” Meghan interjected.

 

Kelley was on her fifteenth lap when Paul waved her over; she stopped in front of him with her hands on her hips as she caught her breath. “What lap are you on?” He questioned her. “Fifteen.” Paul nodded at Kelley’s answer, “ok; you can stop now. Sit there, we’re going to talk after training.” Kelley didn’t argue and walked up until she was sitting in the stands overlooking her teammates. Kelley knows she needs to stop this, she had enough warnings about her misbehavior and lack of commitment last year and after promising to leave all that stuff behind, she’s started her senior year in the exact same way. Apparently the threats of being kicked off the team hadn’t sunk into her head yet, she remembers the nights of being asked by Christen why she was like this. Did she have an answer then? No. Does she have an answer now? Not a chance. “O’Hara, your commitment is really going to affect you this year.”

 

Here we go.

 

“I thought I was waiting until after training was over for this?” Kelley asked, pulling her hair out of its ponytail and letting her hair fall down her back. Paul ignored the irritable tone in Kelley’s voice and just stood up straight to look at Kelley who was sitting five rows up making it near impossible for the conversation to happen without the rest of the team overhearing, not that Kelley cared if they did or not. “Also, you said it would affect me last year but here I am?” Kelley tugged her bottom lip between her teeth as she studied Paul’s expression; she knew she was one sarcastic comment away from getting benched for tomorrow, even if Paul’s not announcing the team until the end of training. Paul continued to ignore her and turned his attention to his team and told them to finish the session with a ten minute scrimmage. Paul took this as his opportunity to approach Kelley and sit on the row lower to the defender. “We had a conversation similar to this in this position last year Kelley. You promised you’d start this year on a new page, forget what happened last year.”

 

“So? I lied; it’s not the first time.”

 

“Drop the attitude O’Hara.” Paul scolded, leading Kelley to roll her eyes as she leant back. “I’ve cut you so much slack over the years, especially last year. What happened between your sophomore year and junior year?”

 

“A lot.” Kelley muttered, “I know I’m screwing up, I’ll try harder.”

 

“I’ve heard that before Kelley, I’m waiting to see this so-called effort.”

 

Kelley knew she couldn’t argue, all of her promises haven’t yet been fulfilled in any sense of the word; she knows she’s walking a thin line, she knows her Coach has put a lot on the line for her when other coaches would’ve had enough with her already, Kelley thinks Paul’s basing it on her potential to be a star one day and that’s why she’s still here, but she also knows it’s going to work two ways, she needs to start putting the effort in. “Kelley you know I have faith one day you’re going to be a star, you know?”

 

“I know.”

 

“But you’re not going to make it professionally or become a national team member if you continue to slack off; I might accept it now but you and I know for a fact it’s not going to be accepted after graduation.”

 

“You must think I don’t know that.” Kelley mumbled leaning forward, “Kelley, you’ve got a week to sort it out – your attitude, commitment, whatever’s going on with you.”

 

Kelley knew the ultimatum was coming; she expected it to come earlier than it had to be fair, Paul stood up and sent her one last look before heading down the stairs to the sideline to end the session. Kelley sighed and tugged at her hair, closing her eyes and taking three precise, shaky deep breaths as she calmed her racing mind. She opened her eyes and stood up before heading down the stairs to join her teammates, making a b-line for Tobin who opened her arms out for Kelley to fall into, Tobin whispered a few things into her ear that had her nodding, Tobin kissed Kelley’s forehead as Paul informed the team of the starting eleven; Ashlyn was getting the start in goal, something she was eternally grateful for so that her brother could see her play, Paul rifled off the rest of the rest of the team until he got to the two starting forwards; Christen and Alex, Alex’s head shot up when she heard her name, Christen wrapped her arms around Alex’s shoulders and whispered in her ear, Alex laughed and leant back into the raven haired girl’s side. Paul dismissed the team, “I told you he wouldn’t overlook your record.” A voice startled Alex as she turned around and found a sullen looking Kelley standing beside her. “I guess you were right,” Alex offered her a small smile as she folded her arms; the awkward tension was still between the pair. “It sucks you’re not starting.” Alex spoke, an apologetic tone in her voice. Kelley shrugged, “I never expected it.” The pair fell silent until an idea came to Kelley’s mind, “you wanna go for a drive with me?”

 

“Yeah, I’d love to.” Alex nodded, a smile appearing on Kelley’s face at the response. “Let’s grab our stuff and go.”

 

“I refuse to go with you until I’ve showered.” Alex deadpanned causing an overdramatic sigh to escape the freckled girl’s lips. “Fine.” Kelley sent Alex a smirk over her shoulder, causing the forward to roll her eyes as they headed down to the locker room. Alex and Kelley showered and changed and whilst Alex was tying the laces to her Nike’s, Kelley was leaning against the wall swinging her car keys around her finger trying hard to try and hurry her up, but the way that Alex was knowingly tying her shoes agonizingly slowly was only fuelling Kelley’s annoyance. “I know what you’re doing Alex, so quit it and hurry up.” Kelley chimed in; Alex stood up and threw her sweatshirt over her head, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She grinned as she threw her bag over her shoulder and walked towards Kelley, taking hold of her hand as the pair exited the the locker room and headed down across the field towards Kelley’s car. Alex got in as did Kelley who instantly reached for her shades. “It’s not even sunny Kell.”

 

“I know, but I look cool; right?” She raised her eyebrows as she turned to Alex. “Yeah sure, you look really cool.”

 

“I’m sensing sarcasm,” Kelley replied as she turned the engine on and pulled out. “Me sarcastic? Never.”

 

Kelley tried to hide the smile on her face, it faded pretty quickly though and the next question was the reason for it, “why’ve you been ignoring me since Sunday?”

 

“I have not.” Alex protested weakly, “you have; a couple of words here and there constitutes something’s been up considering how close we are.” Kelley murmured, Alex sighed and leant back choosing to stare out the window as she avoided any and all eye contact. “Alex, I’d rather you just tell me instead of pretend nothing’s up.”

 

“It’s nothing; it’s stupid really.”

 

“I guarantee whatever it was isn’t stupid.” Kelley encouraged as she took her hand off the steering wheel and letting it fall on Alex’s knee. The forward knew there was no way of getting herself out of this and exhaled deeply. “When I used your phone to call JJ; before you say anything I wasn’t snooping through your phone or anything, the message just came through whilst I was still holding it…” Kelley’s grip on the steering wheel tightened whilst the the concentrated expression on her face turned to that of being essentially a death glare. Kelley knew Alex was struggling to continue speaking so she did it for her, “it wasn’t anything important. It’s just a girl I met at a party. She’s no one important.” Kelley tried to explain, but Alex didn’t believe a word of it, not that she had any reason in the world to be jealous, it’s not like she’s Kelley’s girlfriend. Kelley knew she wasn’t getting anywhere, “That’s why you were mad at me? You’re jealous.”

 

“I’m not jealous.” Alex drawled, Kelley pulled up for a minute and turned to look at Alex; leaning over to pull her hand away from her face and letting her finger falling under her chin to turn her face towards her. “It’s ok to be jealous you know?”

 

“No it’s not; it’s stupid.” Alex pointed out, “I have no reason to be jealous of you or anybody you’re with.”

 

“I’m not with her, I never was.”

 

“But the text?” Alex furrowed her eyebrows, Kelley chuckled. “She was just a girl I met at a party, she was drunk and was convinced something happened which it didn’t by the way; she broke up with her boyfriend and she’s after fun.”

 

“You’re not going to see her?” Alex questioned, still wary despite the explanation. “God no; she’s not my type. I at least like my girls to you know, not be straight.”

 

“What is your type?” Alex asked, feeling a weight lifted off her shoulders. Kelley moved back and started to drive again. “Hot.”

 

“Really Kell? Your type is hot?” Alex mused, feeling the urge to roll her eyes for probably the thousandth time since she’d met Kelley. “Alright, what’s your type?” Kelley asked, glancing over to Alex for a brief second. Alex sat back and thought for a minute, all of her girlfriends in the past didn’t have much in common; except for the fact they were all soccer players, maybe that’s her type. “I like soccer players.” Alex smirked, not missing the way the heat rose to Kelley’s cheeks, leaning over Alex whispered. “Especially defenders,” She nipped at Kelley’s earlobe.

 

“You’re going to get us killed.” Kelley mumbled, her knuckles turning white from the way she was holding onto the steering wheel. Alex laughed and leant back knowing she’d successfully got under the defender’s skin. Realizing where they were, the beach was in plain sight as Kelley pulled up and parked the car, Kelley and Alex hopped out of the car, the forward taking Kelley’s hand as they headed down to the beach, heading straight for the rocks again. Kelley had fallen quiet quickly, and Alex sensed something was up. Kelley sat down and pulled Alex down beside her, “What was Paul saying to you?” Alex asked, Kelley answered with a bitter laugh. “The same old, complaining about my attitude and lack of commitment,” Alex could sense the hurt in Kelley’s voice. “I’ve got a week to sort it out.”

 

“Or what?” Alex asked, wrapping her arms around Kelley’s shoulders and letting her head rest against her arms. “He didn’t say, I mean, I’ll probably get kicked off the team.”

 

“Kelley!” Alex exclaimed, “I never realized it was that bad. I don’t want to lecture you but you seriously need to pull yourself together.”

 

“Don’t worry; you’re not the first to lecture me on it. Christen and Tobin do it all the time, so does Becky.” Kelley let out a heavy sigh, “it’s just difficult,”

 

Alex didn’t know what to do with Kelley’s last vague comment and decided it would be for the best to just let the situation drop. “I hope you score tomorrow.”

 

“Why?” Alex questioned, “You can dedicate your goal to your favorite defender.” Kelley jested. “I think Sonnett would appreciate that, thanks for the tip.” Kelley rolled her eyes as she nudged Alex, the forward just wrapping her arms around her tighter.

 

~

 

“GAME DAY.”

 

The shout was followed by Syd and Moe leaping on Alex’s bed, limbs tangled as the forward groaned and used her best efforts to shove her two idiotic friends off her, Alex reached for the fluffy purple cushion that had been thrown to the bottom of the bed during the night and started to repeatedly whack Morgan with it. Screams and raucous laughter followed as the three friends found themselves so caught up in the moment that they forgot two tiny details:

 

One; it was a little after seven in the morning.

Two; Julie was asleep in the bed across the room.

 

Or so they thought. “What the fuck are you guys doing?” A tired and pissed of Julie Johnston asked, arms folded and sending a glare in the direction of her three roommates. Syd stumbled backwards and Morgan fell flat against Alex as the three of them looked at the blonde. Syd and Morgan exchanged a smile, “you seriously forgot we did this to you on your first Stanford game day?”

 

“It was three years ago Syd, of course I forgot you did.” Julie stated as matter-of-factly. “We have to stick with tradition JJ, and its Alex’s first Stanford game day which means being tackled at an ungodly hour.”

 

“Seven in the morning is not an ungodly hour.” Julie deadpanned, “it is for Morgan.” Syd quipped receiving a glare from Morgan. Alex sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, “oh shit; it’s actually game day.” She mumbled once she was feeling more awake causing Morgan to laugh as she fell into Alex’s side. “Yeah, and you stole my starting spot.” Syd mock sneered before winking, “I’m kidding – you deserve it kid.”

 

“So, seeing as we’re awake. Breakfast?” Julie suggested and was met with a chorus of ‘hell yeah’ as the four of them raced into the kitchen in search of food, as if they weren’t eating pizza just five hours ago. Morgan wanted pancakes and Syd yelled for bacon and Alex just wanted a quiet morning. Julie ended up making both pancakes and bacon to satisfy both girl’s, who still ended up arguing over something completely different not five minutes later. “I hope that Kingsley girl isn’t playing.” Morgan huffed as she munched on a piece of bacon. “Who?”

 

“Paige Kingsley I think, last time we played Notre Dame she did nothing but kick the shit out of Moe for ninety minutes. I swear Moe spent more time clutching her ankle than she did playing.”

 

“It was rough, if she’s playing today I might just set JJ on her.”

 

“I’m not kicking the shit out of Kingsley, even if I do want to wipe the smug smirk off her fucking face.” The defender huffed sitting down at the counter, “I’m sensing a whole load of hostility towards her.” Alex added in, eyebrows rose as she drank some coffee. “Yup, isn’t there any player who makes you so pissed off?” Syd asked, Alex thought for a minute. “There’s a girl who plays for Utah, I think her names Lauren Adams or something like that – anyway, we played her last year and for the entire first half she was tugging my shirt and kicking me and then tried to start a fight with me when I fouled her. I wanted to punch her.”

 

“I can’t wait until we play Utah now,” Syd laughed. “I want to see you sucker punch her.”

 

“I’m not violent.” Alex deadpanned. “Of course you’re not, you just have violent thoughts and that’s completely different.” Syd rolled her eyes. Breakfast was over far too quickly, and the girls begrudgingly waved and went their separate ways to class, Alex was heading towards her International Relations Theory lecture when arms wrapped around her from behind, “Morning Alex Morgan.”

 

“Morning Kell, don’t you have class?” Alex asked as Kelley let her go and moved to walk beside her. “Not yet, I have a class at ten. I was going to sneak into yours.”

 

“Why the hell would you do that? What kind of sane person willingly goes to somebody else’s class?” Alex asked, the tone of her voice was filled with outrage and slight confusion. “The person who wants to spend the next hour annoying you.”

 

“Of course that’s the reason.” Alex muttered, “So what class is it?” Kelley asked stealing Alex’s book from her before Alex could even stop her. “International Relations? Sounds boring.”

 

“Nobody’s asking you to come with me,” Alex reminded her swiping the book back from Kelley and holding it to her chest again. Alex walked into the building with Kelley still on her heels as she headed into the class waving to one of the girl’s who sits in the row in front of her, Kelley followed Alex to her seat and sat down beside her. “Hey Alex,”

 

Turning around Alex smiled, “hey Drew, what’s up?”

 

“I heard we’ve got to do a presentation at the end of the month, we’ve got to present it to the entire class – it’s our first piece of graded work.”

 

“No way, he hasn’t mentioned it though?”

 

“I think he’s just going to spring it on us because he hates us.” Drew laughed bringing a smile to Alex’s face. Alex turned around to find Kelley staring at her, “What?” She questioned the defender who just shrugged and smiled as she let her head fall against Alex’s shoulder. “So a presentation? Does that mean you’ll be locked away in your room too busy to spend time with me?”

 

“Yes, unless you want to sit with me for hours as I stress over this stupid module?” Alex suggested opening her notebook, “Sounds fun. I’m in.”

 

“I was joking Kell; I’ll be really stressed.”

 

“That’s ok; I can make you laugh to relieve the stress.” Alex looked over to Kelley, “You’re serious aren’t you?” Alex asked for clarification. “Of course I am.”

 

“Don’t you have your own work to do?” Alex asked again, spinning her pen around her fingers. “Alex seriously? You think I don’t stay up all night the night before I have work due to do it?”

 

“That sounds like you,” Alex smirked. The lecturer walked in and Alex sighed, “here we go.” She muttered already feeling her eyes drop before he’s even opened his mouth.

 

“Alex, hey Alex, Alex Morgan, Alex, Alexandra.” Kelley repeated, whispering to not catch anybody’s attention as she poked Alex’s cheek as the forward trying and ultimately failed to concentrate on the PowerPoint presentation on the screen at the front of the room. “Pay attention to me,” Kelley mumbled, kicking the side of Alex’s leg with her left foot. “You know you can’t ignore me.” Alex sighed and dropped her pen onto her notebook page which was still blank by the way; she turned to look at Kelley. “Will you stop? I’m supposed to be listening.” Alex hissed, but that didn’t deter Kelley who just offered up a lopsided grin at the forward. “If you were listening you would’ve taken some notes by now.” Kelley informed her, to which Alex rolled her eyes. “I’m trying but somebody keeps annoying me?” Alex reached out and grabbed Kelley’s hand before she could poke her face again; Kelley awkwardly intertwined their fingers as she looked down at her phone. “Have we seriously only been in this lecture for twenty minutes? Why did you think studying this was a good idea?”

 

“Because it’s as far from something you’d take as humanly possible.” Alex jibed causing Kelley to gasp in mock offence but she fell quiet and allowed Alex to concentrate for all of five minutes before she was back whispering dumb shit in Alex’s ear trying to make her laugh; Alex had to stifle her laughter more times than she’d care to admit, trying to muffle her laughter into the sleeve of her sweatshirt. With Alex’s head resting on her arms as she struggled to stay awake towards the end of the lecture, Kelley leant over and wrapped her arms around Alex and let her head fall against her back as she closed her eyes. Once the lecture ended, Alex sat up and caused Kelley to jolt awake as the defender sat up and stretched. “I can honestly say that was the most boring hour of my entire life and I’ve been alive for for twenty-one years.”

 

“I told you not to come,” Alex reminded her again, packing up her stuff. “I know but at least I got to spend an hour with you instead of listening to Tobin yell at the TV whilst playing FIFA.”

 

“I’m touched, really Kell.” Alex replied, placing her hand over her heart. “Hey Alex, can I have a word?” Drew asked, Alex turned around and smiled. “Of course Drew anything.” Kelley walked down a couple of steps to wait for Alex but still within hearing distance, she’s a curious kid ok? “Drew, are you ok?”

 

“I don’t want to sound too forward or anything but – are you gay?” He asked, talk about not being too forward… Alex felt her cheeks flush as she tightened her grip on her books. “I am, why?” She answered, the conversation unnerving her a little. She watched as Drew’s face dropped but he offered her a sweet smile. “That’s too bad, I was going to ask you out but uh – you and – your girlfriend are cute.” He stammered nervously nodding towards Kelley who was walking back up to take hold of Alex’s hand noticing the forward’s awkwardness. “Yeah we are cute, sorry Drew we have to leave.” Kelley pulled Alex down the stairs as the forward waved back to him before they were out of the class and both started to laugh, Alex’s laugh was more forced and out of sheer embarrassment more than anything. “Oh my god; I feel so bad.” Alex bit the side of her lip as she winced at what had just happened, not being at all bothered by Kelley not correcting Drew. “That was funny, he was so awkward.”

 

“I was awkward, don’t make fun of him.” Alex chastised, causing Kelley to stop laughing, “Oh come on Alex; it was funny.”

 

“But he’s probably really embarrassed and oh, I feel so bad for him.” Alex sighed; she wished she could say that’s the first time that’s happened. “Hey, he’s a smart kid. He’ll bounce back.” Kelley promised walking in front of Alex who nodded, still unconvinced. “I’m going to head to class; I’ll see you at the game?”

 

“Of course, try not to fall asleep in your classes Kell.”

 

“No promises.” The defender replied as she brought Alex into a hug before heading towards the building doors.

 

Alex had four more classes that day, all of them gradually making her sleepier; maybe it’s a lecturer thing to have the dullest voice in the entire world. After practically racing out of her last class of the day, she text Tobin back and headed back to the apartment to rest for an hour before she had to get ready to head to the game. Walking across the street to her building, she entered and walked up the stairs before walking into the apartment. “Rough day?” JJ asked watching as Alex sleepily hauled herself into the living room and threw herself on the couch. “Boring, I’ve been on the verge of falling asleep since 9:30.” Julie hummed in agreement despite only having two classes today and being home since 11 AM. “Where’s Syd and Moe?” Alex asked reaching forward and grabbing the glass of water from the table. “Syd’s with Allie and Moe’s not back from her last class yet.” Julie explained, looking up from her laptop. “Communications will kill me one day.” She commented shutting her laptop and placing it at the end of the couch. “So, apart from classes; how was your day?”

 

“The guy who sits behind me asked me if I was gay and got embarrassed when I said I was because he was going to ask me out.”

 

“Oh my god,” Julie laughed. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.” Morgan’s voice traveled from the door where she was just coming in. “I felt so embarrassed,” Alex whined letting her head fall back against the couch. “Kelley had to pull me out of there before I said something stupid.”

 

“Wait, Kelley was in your class?” Morgan asked, tilting her head to the side in confusion. “Long story,” Alex waved her off. “I felt so bad.”

 

~

 

Standing in the locker room after warm ups and listening to Paul as he gave his team some last words of encouragement, with Becky following and rallying her team to cheers and another horrible rendition of the fight song. “You’ve got this,” Kelley walked in front of Alex, “I know.” Alex replied although her voice wavered. “Don’t over-think it, play like it’s just a scrimmage and remember, I want a goal from my favorite forward.” Kelley smirked leaning over to wrap Alex in a hug,

 

“Hey! I thought I was your favorite forward?” Christen asked, feeling offended. Kelley turned, “you're Tobin’s, let me have Alex.” Christen shrugged, feeling more than happy to be Tobin’s favorite, and by the blush creeping up Tobin’s neck – she was ok with the deal too. Kelley kissed Alex’s cheek before smiling and chasing after Syd to go outside and take their positions on the bench. Alex and Christen walked out and lined up behind Morgan who leant back and pointed Paige Kingsley out to Alex, “If she tackles me once I will kill her.”

 

“And Syd calls me the violent one.” Alex teased causing Morgan to roll her eyes as the teams walked out onto the field. The National Anthem played and with some last rousing words from Becky, the girls were ready and set for the opening game of the season. Notre Dame had won the toss and were kicking off first, kicking towards the right where the sun was unfortunately in Ashlyn’s eyes and probably would be for the entire first half. The game kicked off to a loud reception from the supporters as the number 9 for Notre Dame sent the ball out to the left flank, needing Ali to be on her toes as to not let her get the cross in. Ali waited and kept close to the winger until she was able to get her left foot in and knock the ball out of play for a throw in. The throw in was sent high into the box where Ashlyn leapt and grabbed the ball before the striker was able to get her head to the ball. Ash threw the ball out to Meghan who set off running down the left side, playing a couple of one-two’s with Tobin until she was able to send a floating cross into the box that Christen met but the header was so tame, it easily found its way to the Notre Dame keeper. Fifteen minutes in and Tobin stopped just over the halfway line before noticing Christen was struggling to rid herself of the defender who was sticking tight to her and instead looped a long ball in Alex’s direction who’d managed to turn away from her defender, Alex brought the ball down and turned running into the box, letting her right foot lash through the ball and watching as it slipped under the keeper’s body into the bottom right corner.

 

1-0 Stanford.

 

Christen reached Alex first and hugged the forward before she was being hugged and pulled in all directions by the rest of her teammates. Tobin had her arm around Alex’s shoulder as they headed back for the restart. “Debut goal, I’m impressed dude.”

 

“Don’t act so surprised, I’m pretty good.” Alex smirked as Tobin rolled her eyes and jogged back to her position. Alex didn’t miss Kelley’s wink in her direction as the referee blew the whistle. Twenty-seven minutes in and it was 2-0, Cheney sent in a corner from the far side that Julie got her head to at the near post, less than half an hour in and Stanford were practically controlling the entire game. The defense wasn’t allowing Notre Dame a kick and if they did, Ashlyn was on hand to palm away long distance shots. Three minutes before half time and it was three; Tobin bamboozling three Notre Dame players before turning and lashing a left foot shot into the roof of the goal. The whistle blew for halftime and the girls headed down to the locker room in high spirits, knowing that they’d all but won their opening game. Paul was quick to remind his team that despite their commanding halftime lead, they can’t let themselves slack off during the second half – reminding them one goal for the away team could completely alter the dimensions of the game. Still, the team were still buzzing off their lead as they retook the field for the second half, Cheney being replaced by Sam Mewis as the first substitute for either team. Notre Dame came out for the second half with a point to prove but no matter how hard they tried, they just couldn’t score and frustrations were beginning to show when Sam played the ball to Morgan who was running towards the box before she was harshly tackled and sent tumbling to the ground before screaming out in pain as she clutched her ankle, the player to blame – Paige Kingsley, of course. The team doctor’s headed onto the pitch to take a look at Morgan as Alex headed over to the sideline to take the bottle of water from Kelley’s outstretched hand and took a drink. No words were exchanged between the pair as they focused their attention on Morgan limping off the field whilst a substitution was signaled with Morgan not able to continue. Allie came on in Morgan’s place as the doctors continued to examine her ankle before settling on giving her ice for the swelling. In the seventy-fourth minute, Alex was substituted for ARod and the forward took her seat beside Kelley, watching out the rest of the game. Morgan was sitting beside her, she nudged her roommate’s shoulder. “Hey, how’s the ankle Moe?”

 

“Hurts; I really fucking hate that Kingsley kid.” She grumbled, sending daggers in the direction of Notre Dame’s number 11. Christen added a late fourth from a low cross from ARod and the game ended 4-0. Alex headed back onto the pitch to shake hands with the opposing players and referee before she was wrapped in a hug from behind by Tobin as the team headed down into the locker room. After listening to Paul talk, and call out some mistakes that only he could spot, Becky’s speech and getting showered and changed. Allie and Syd announced that they were having a team movie night at Allie’s house to celebrate the win, everyone agreeing and heading off to Allie’s. Kelley, Alex, Tobin and Christen walked behind everyone else, “that wasn’t a bad way to start the season.”

 

“If only all games were that easy,” Christen yawned. “I wish we could play Notre Dame every week, they roll over against everyone.”

 

“Hey!” Kelley interjected, “it’s not their fault they’re shit.”

 

Everyone made it to Allie’s and the team settled for watching She’s The Man despite Emily’s complaints that they’d just played a full game and now had to watch a movie about soccer, the comment that was met with a flying cushion to the face from Mewy. Alex and Kelley sat in the beanbag chair beside the couch that Tobin and Christen were curled up on, and if Alex and Kelley fell asleep five minutes in, that was fine. If Alex fell asleep with Kelley’s arms securely wrapped around her, they knew they would get teased for it.

 

They didn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't really have anything to say; so leave comments (i love reading them) and kudos and anything else!


	8. Seriously, Vampires?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really struggled to get this chapter to something i liked; i still don't think it's there but i think it's ok?
> 
> anyway, hmu on tumblr, i'm desperate for friends

Christen wakes up that next morning, the sun shining through the slits in the blinds she forgot to close last night, burying her head further into what she thinks is her pillow, she feels her ‘pillow’ move and a voice laced with sleep speak up. “Chris stop moving.” Christen sits up causing the other person to groan and when Christen properly opens her eyes she finds Tobin lying on her back staring up at her through barely open eyes. “What are you doing in my bed?” Christen asks, not even remembering falling asleep last night. “You were tired last night,” Tobin chuckled softly pulling herself up so that she was sitting with her back pressed against the wall behind the bed. “You begged me to stay here last night because and I’m quoting here ‘you’re really warm and cuddly’. If you’re that desperate I’ll just buy you a stuffed toy.” Tobin yawned as her eyes began to drop again. Christen pulled her hair out it’s sad excuse of a bun letting it cascade down her back as she tried to remember that conversation happening last night. “I don’t remember that, you’re lying to me but I’m too tired to argue.” Christen talked slowly, her words becoming more incoherent as she lay back down pulling the midfielder with her, not that Tobin was complaining. “I’m not lying,” Tobin mumbled into the back of Christen’s head, “you were just too out of it to realize you said it.”

 

“Lies Heath.” Christen whispered. “Sleepy time,” Christen yawned her eyes already closed as she felt Tobin hug her closer from behind. Tobin was eternally grateful to not have classes today, knowing she could just spend the next hour or so cuddled up to her favorite girl. In the living room; Kelley and Alyssa didn’t have the luxury of no Friday classes; Alyssa having three and Kelley having four, the pair were sat on the couches, eyes barely open as they waited until the last possible minute to leave the apartment to head to classes. Kelley’s books were thrown on the side of the couch as the defender lay curled up on the couch, wrapping her arms around herself as she struggled to keep herself awake. “How are you still tired? You slept through the entire movie last night and went straight to sleep when we came home?” Alyssa chuckled at Kelley drowsily reaching for the bottle of Gatorade on the table, and struggling to twist the top, Alyssa swiped it from her hands and did it for her before passing the bottle back to Kelley who slowly took a few sips. After placing the bottle back on the table and throwing the bottle top beside it, Kelley picked up her books, “I’m going to head to class, my buildings further away than yours.”

 

“I’ll see you later dude,” Alyssa waved before relaxing further in the couch, those extra six minutes before she really had to leave to head to her class were really important. Kelley left the apartment and headed down the stairs and out of the building to head to her first class of the day, although if she managed to actually survive it she’d be surprised. She let her feet drag against the navy blue carpet as she walked to her usual seat and let herself fall into it, her books unnecessarily slamming down on the table as Kelley instantly let her head fall onto her arms as she tried to ease the pain in her head by avoiding the bright lights of the lecture hall. The clicking of heels from the front of the room had Kelley screwing her eyes shut to try and drown out the noise as her lecturer’s strong Spanish accent and tedious voice echoed through the hall as Kelley tried and failed to listen to even a couple of the words. Her books were untouched beside her, her breathing shaky as she tried to soothe the ill-feeling overtaking her body, “Kelley!”

 

The defender jerked forward, lifting her head up with such force a sharp pain hit the center of her forehead as she narrowed her eyes to make out her lecturer standing at the front of the room holding a marker pen. “Come forward and answer this question if you’d rather sleep during this session.” Kelley sighed and pushed herself up, feeling her knees buckle at first but she maintained her balance as she slowly walked down the stairs until she’d reached her lecturer who handed her the pen. Kelley stood in front of the board, reading the question three times; “the question is; the dissolved oxygen level in natural unpolluted waters at normal temperature is found to be the order of? Kelley, work out the answer.” Her lecturer stood off to the side, arms folded and lips pursed as she stared down the defender. Kelley tightened her grip on the pen as she struggled to think clearly, her balance starting to fall off as she stumbled but regained her balance for a brief second. The lights in the room had Kelley tugging at the collar of her shirt as she took quick breaths to try and steady the shakiness. She lifted her hand up to start working out when she felt like she was going to faint, “Kelley; Kelley are you ok?” the Spaniard asked letting her hand fall on the senior’s shoulder. Kelley shook her head, and her lecturer’s face fell at the sight of the discomfort her student was in. “Go home Kelley.” She spoke softly, taking the pen from the defender’s hand as Kelley slowly made her way up the stairs to grab her books, swaying with almost every step at the pain radiating through her entire body. She held her books to her chest as she stumbled out of the lecture hall, the cool air from the entrance to the building hitting her face welcomingly, Kelley made her way home in fifteen minutes, so much longer than it would take due to her stopping every few yards or so to try and stop the urge to throw up, she pulled her phone from her jeans pocket and with trembling hands shot off a text to Christen

 

Where are you? – KO

Out with Tobs, why? – Press

No reason. – KO

 

Kelley sighed as she pulled open the door to the building and made her way upstairs, wanting nothing more than to fall into bed and sleep until she felt better. She ascended the stairs at a sloth-like speed until she was able to open the door to the empty apartment, she let the door slam shut behind her but regretting it when the sound radiated and only worsened her headache. Kelley dropped her books on the couch and reached for the bottle of Gatorade from the morning before slowly dragging herself to her room, opening her door and leaving it open as she trudged over to her bed and fell flat on it, her face hitting the cool side of her pillow as she cried out whilst clutching her stomach. She unlocked her phone as she moved so that she had one eye on the phone in her hand as she scrolled through her contacts until she found Alex’s, she called the forward hoping she’d answer. Alex was sat on her bed, typing away on her laptop as she tried to get a head start on her presentation for the end of the month, she was scrolling through previous lecture slides when her phone started ringing, she glanced down and saw Kelley’s contact, Alex furrowed her brow; she could’ve sworn Kelley was supposed to be in class. She hit answer and put her phone on speaker as she left her phone on the bed beside her laptop. “I thought you were in class,” was the first thing Alex said as she finished up typing her first slide. “Alex,” Kelley’s voice comes out as a strangled murmur instantly grabbing Alex’s full attention. “Kell; what’s up?”

 

“It – hurts,” she cried, Alex quickly moved to pick up her phone and take it off speaker before holding it to her ear. “What hurts? Where are you?” She questioned, feeling a lot more alert than she had been doing her presentation. “E-Everything.”

 

“Kelley, where are you?” Alex asked, her voice turning a lot sterner. “Bed,”

 

“Where’s Chris or Tobin or Lyss?”

 

“Out.”

 

Alex sighed and pushed her laptop away from her, “you want me to come around?” Alex asked already leaning over the side of her bed to grab her Nike’s. She could hear Kelley mumbling something that sounded like yes, “I’ll be there soon ok?” Again Kelley mumbled out a response. Alex ended the call as she dropped her phone on the bed and started tying the laces to her shoes, she stood up and grabbed her hoodie from the end of the bed and threw it on as she grabbed her phone and slipped it into her pocket. She spun around swiping her keys from her bedside table and headed out towards the door, leaving her presentation long forgotten about as she essentially tripped down the stairs because of the speed she was going at. She pushed open the door to the building with more force than she intended and sucked in a sharp breath when it bounced rather harshly, Alex convinced it was going to snap off its hinges, shrugging she pushed the door shut and headed down the road; she ended up jogging the short distance to the other building and took the stairs two at a time until she reached the apartment, when she realized the door was probably going to be locked but anyway, she tried to open it and to her surprise and gratefulness the door pushed open, Kelley must’ve forgotten to shut it properly when she got back. Alex walked into the living room noticing the books sitting in a haphazard pile on the couch; Alex padded through the apartment until she looked into Kelley’s room and found the defender curled up on her bed in a fetus position. Alex walked in and knelt down in front of her, brushing some hair out of her face as she continued to sleep. “Kell,” Alex whispered not wanting to startle her, “I’m here; wake up for a minute.” Kelley opened her eyes, dazed at first as she makes out Alex’s figure through her blurred vision; the tears still in her eyes from the pain she was feeling. “It – hurts,” Kelley’s voice wavered as Alex nodded sending the freckled girl a sympathetic smile. “Do you need anything?” Alex asked, bringing her hand to tuck some loose strands of Kelley’s hair behind her ear. “Drink.” Kelley nods towards the bottle sitting on the table; Alex reached up and took hold of the bottle. “Sit up Kell,” Kelley reluctantly pulled herself up so that she was sitting up, Alex gave her the bottle as she stood up and walked to Kelley’s closet. “Are you hot or cold?”

 

“Cold.”

 

Alex nodded and proceeded to pull out a pair of flannel pajamas from Kelley’s top shelf and took them over, “get changed.” Kelley nodded, too ill to even argue back or offer up a sarcastic comment that Alex is so accustomed to hearing. Alex left the room and walked into the kitchen to grab some water from the fridge and head back into Kelley’s room where she found her struggling to fasten the buttons on her top due to her still trembling hands, Alex walked over and placed the bottle on the table and moved Kelley’s hands out of the way to fasten them for her, at a much quicker pace and by the way that she was shivering, the sooner Kelley got back into bed under the covers the better. Alex moved past Kelley and pulled back the covers as the defender fell into bed, Alex brought the covers up to her chin. Alex was just about to leave the room when Kelley’s outstretched hand curled around her wrist and spun her around. “Stay with me?” The question was barely above a whisper but Alex caught it. “Do you really want to get me sick?” Alex retaliated. Kelley didn’t reply and instead just bat her eyelashes at the forward. Alex sighed and conceded, she kicked off her shoes and awkwardly climbed over Kelley to lie down at the far side of Kelley’s bed, so her back was pressed against the wall, and Kelley shuffles around until her face is buried in the soft material of Alex’s hoodie. “You’re warm.” The words are muffled but Alex manages to catch them; as Kelley wraps her arm around Alex, she knows she’s going to overheat sometime between now and when Kelley wakes up, she also knows she’s probably going to get sick at some point herself but she also knows she’s just going to have to suck it up. For the most part, whilst Kelley sleeps; Alex is just holding her as she scrolls through her phone, replying to texts, scrolling through Instagram rolling her eyes at the majority of the posts; she doesn’t hate people who flaunt their relationships, honest. Alex turns her phone off when it hits 20% and lets her phone drop into her lap as she looks down at Kelley, her hand absentmindedly moving to stroke her hair; she hears the front door open and close before Tobin’s voice sounding through the apartment, something that sounds oddly familiar to ‘I wasn’t the one who got cotton candy in their hair.’

 

“It was your fault Tobin, now I need to try and get it out.” Christen’s voice could be heard from down the hallway, as could her footsteps as they got closer. She stopped outside Kelley’s room, noticing the door was unusually open, she looked in her eyes met Alex’s. “Hey Alex; what are you doing here?”

 

“Kelley’s sick; she called me before.”

 

“So that’s why she was wondering where I was,” Christen said, her brain clicking. “If she’d have told me she was sick, we would’ve come home earlier. How long has she been asleep?”

 

“Like forty minutes.” Alex answered, “Ok well there’s medicine in the bathroom cupboard for when she wakes up. If you need to go just call one of us and we’ll take over.” Christen threw a wave over her shoulder as she closed Kelley’s door over. Alex pulled at the collar of her hoodie, starting to overheat from being clung to by a feverish Kelley who was breathing heavily as she balled up Alex’s hoodie in her fists before starting to cough, Alex sat up and rubbed Kelley’s arm for her to wake up, the defender was confused at first before her brain caught up, Alex reached over and grabbed the bottle of water before handing it to Kelley, after she took a few sips. “Did I hear Christen before?” She asked her voice hoarse from sleep mixed with the sore throat she was starting to get. “Yeah, her and Tobin have just got back. How do you feel?” Alex asked, moving her hand to feel Kelley’s forehead which was still burning. “Horrible-” was all Kelley could say before she entered a coughing fit that lasted a little over fifteen seconds before Kelley fell limp against Alex, her breathing insanely heavy as she clutched the water bottle tightly. “Chris says there’s medicine in the bathroom, do you want me to get you some?” Alex asked feeling Kelley nod against her arm. “You’re really warm though, I’m cold.”

 

“You have a fever Kell; you need medicine.”

 

“I don’t want you to leave, if you hug me long enough I’ll be better.” Alex found herself rolling her eyes at Kelley’s theory and ultimately did move away from the defender who fell against the pillows, whining at Alex’s loss of warmth. “I’ll be a minute Kell, just let me get the medicine.”

 

“It’s gross.” Kelley deadpanned. “It’ll make you feel better.” Alex tried to reason, still having not moved off the bed. “You’re worse than Christen.”

 

“I heard that!” Christen’s voice sounded from outside the room. “One minute Kell.” Alex reminded her as she hopped off the bed and headed into the bathroom, opening the cabinet and searching for the medicine, her eyes fell on the bottle of Tylenol; she grabbed it and closed the cabinet again before heading back into the room. Kelley was still lying down, eyes closed with the blankets pulled up around her, Alex padded over to the bed and shook Kelley awake, the defender groaning and trying to push Alex’s hand away. “You’re even more frustrating than normal when you’re sick. Sit up and take the damn medicine.” Alex’s voice was a mixture of softness and trying to be as demanding as she could. Kelley huffed and rolled over so she was facing her, “if I take it will you stop nagging me?”

 

“For a while,” Alex shrugged shoving the bottle into her hands. Kelley sat up and took two tablets from the bottle before taking them and drinking half of the bottle of water. “Happy?”

 

“Very, move over.” Alex took the two bottles from her and placed them on her bedside table before climbing back onto the bed and holding her arms out for Kelley to fall into. “Thank you for taking care of me,” Kelley yawned. “All I did was lie here whilst you slept, I hardly did anything.”

 

“Yeah but – but Christen and Tobin wouldn’t cuddle me if I was sick; they’re both afraid of getting sick.” There was a knock at the door and Christen looked in, “Kell; you should probably eat something otherwise you’ll feel worse.”

 

“I don’t want anything. I’m sick.”

 

“Yes Kell; we know you’re sick, just come and eat something ok?” Christen’s footsteps were then heard retreating down the hall. Kelley closes her eyes for another couple of minutes, trying to warm herself up when she sighs and finally admits she wants something to eat. After getting out of bed; Kelley clings to Alex’s side keeping her arms wrapped around the forward as they walk awkwardly into the kitchen, careful not to trip over each other as they walked. “I knew you were hungry.” Christen smiled over her shoulder, Kelley sat at the counter and started to shiver; Alex shed her hoodie and passed it to Kelley, relieved in the sense to finally take it off and allow her body temperature to return to normal, Kelley pulled the hoodie over her head and reveled in how soft was it as she wrapped her arms around herself. Tobin was sitting in the living room, FIFA on the TV. “Alex, how good are you at FIFA?” Tobin asked pausing her current game. “Good enough to kick your ass.” Alex quipped feeling a smirk make its way to her lips. “Prove it,” the midfielder challenged waving the spare controller in the air. Alex walked over to the couch and took the controller, sitting down beside Tobin as she quit her current game and set up a new game; the old classic; Arsenal VS Barcelona. “Best of three?” Tobin suggested kicking off, “you’re on.”

 

They play out the first game; Tobin winning 3-2 to a last minute (offside) winner, something that Alex won’t let go throughout the entire second matchup, the game that Alex wins comfortable 2-0. The final game, they stare at each other before they start it, trying to psych the other out. “I can’t believe you two are taking a video game so seriously.” Christen stated with an eye roll as she sat on the counter to get a better but still quite bad view of the TV. “It’s not just a video game Chris. It’s our livelihood.”

 

“Your livelihood is making sure you get a job Tobs.” Christen corrected, grabbing her phone from beside her. “What do I get if I win?” Tobin asked narrowing her eyes at Alex. “If you win you get nothing. That wasn’t part of the deal.” As Alex made sure to keep eye contact with the midfielder she started the game and got a three second head start. “Cheat.” Tobin muttered bumping her shoulder. They battled it out; the game for the most part was kept scoreless. “You’re going down Morgan.” Tobin told her trying a shot from twenty-five yards out that flew over the bar. Alex leant closer and whispered “isn’t that Christen’s job.” With the intention to try and put the midfielder off, it did. Alex wasted no time in stealing possession and scoring from a cross from the right with a header into the bottom right corner. The forward celebrated as Tobin sat beside her sulking at the TV. “You’re the worst. You cheated.”

 

“I never said I’d play fair Tobs.” Alex laughed as they played out the final minute or so, Tobin still sulking to the point where she’d pretty much given up on trying to equalize. The game ended with Alex the winner, obviously. “You’re the worst; I’m never playing with you again.”

 

“You’re such a sore loser.”

 

“Yeah, especially when I play cheaters.” Tobin smirked at her before jumping up and walking over to stand in-between Christen’s legs to try and annoy the raven haired girl. Alex dropped the controller on the couch and got up to go and check on Kelley who had been eating toast, the plate was empty and Kelley was lying on her arms as she smiled when she saw Alex approach her. “How’d you feel now?” Alex asked dropping a kiss to the top of the defender’s head. “Better,” Kelley mumbled; the lazy smile staying on her face. Alex spends another hour or so with Kelley asleep whilst curled up in her arms on the couch. Christen and Alex spent an hour talking about Tobin’s ‘surprise’ much to the older girl’s frustration at not knowing what it was. Tobin eventually turned her attention to her laptop and tried to do her work but spent more time looking up new pairs of cleats; complaining how she didn’t have enough money to buy them all. It was a little after 5 PM when Alex decided to head back to her own apartment, she’d grabbed her phone from Kelley’s room and was leaning over the couch finalizing plans to go shopping with Christen tomorrow when she sneezed twice, her eyes instantly finding Kelley’s as the forward sent her an ice cold glare. “I hate you.” Alex muttered but Kelley just shrugged. Alex waved over her shoulder and left the apartment just as Alyssa got back; they exchanged a quick few words – mainly just Alex informing the keeper that Kelley was ill before Alex was out of the building and walking back to her own. She headed up the stairs yawning and wanting nothing more than her own bed when she remembered she’d only done one slide of her presentation. Sighing, Alex opened the door and walked in announcing she was home; Syd turned around and tilted her head to the side, “you were out? We hadn’t noticed you’d gone.”

 

“I don’t know whether to be offended or not.” Alex spoke warily throwing herself on the couch before starting to cough. “Oh I’m going to kill Kelley.”

 

~

 

The following week and the team were getting in their final preparations for Minnesota that evening; and by preparations; Alex, JJ, Syd and Moe were lying on the couch avoiding any and all of their responsibilities as they re-watched Aladdin for the fifth time in the last two weeks; “don’t you think one of us should get up and change the movie?” Moe asked whilst throwing a skittle up in the air and missing her mouth by a mile. “Are you offering?” Syd asked yawning as she shuffled down further on the couch. “No I was suggesting, you do it.” Moe told her, throwing a red skittle at the striker. “Alex, you change it.”

 

“Ask JJ.” The forward waved dismissively, tapping away on her phone. “JJ’s asleep.” Moe informed her, Alex looked over and nodded at Julie actually being asleep. “Tough, guess you’re stuck watching this.” Alex grinned looking over at the pair who were becoming less interested in the movie the more it wore on. Syd was on the verge of falling asleep when her phone rang, she answered and the first words that came out of her mouth were “if you don’t stop calling me when I’m trying to sleep I will kill you Allie.” – Strangely, not the worst thing Syd had said this past week. “Oh come on. This isn’t fair, it’s practically child abuse. I swear to god if you make me drink anything like last time I will throw up in your closet.”

 

Morgan and Alex exchanged confused glances as Syd ended the call and dropped her phone, noticing the two staring at her with raised eyebrows in anticipation. “If I say Allie’s throwing a small party after the game would you believe me?”

 

“The last time Allie had a ‘small party’ nearly seventy people showed up. I don’t even think half of them came here.”

 

“What I want to know is how could Allie play a full game and still have enough energy for a party.” Alex interjected stretching her arms above her head. “She could be a vampire, she’s pretty pale, and that would explain the no sleeping.”

 

“JJ’s paler than Allie is; that’s not the reason Moe.”

 

“Before I moved in here I never used to have such weird conversations. Seriously, vampires?”

 

“You chose to be our friend which means you get to experience the weirdness.” Morgan smirked throwing her scrunched up skittles packet at the forward who smacked it away from her face with the back of her hand. “Yeah Alex, you kinda asked for this.” JJ’s sleepy voice sounded from the other side of the room, “don’t worry; you find a way to drown it out after a while.” Julie smiled in Morgan’s direction not missing the offended look from the midfielder. “Shouldn’t we be doing something more productive?” Alex asked, the time had just ticked past 2 PM and they didn’t have to head over to the field until at least 4:30. “I feel like we’re wasting valuable time to you know, do our work?”

 

“Heather 2.0 is back.” Syd grumbled, “We’re not nerds like you Alex.”

 

“I should be offended.”

 

“Don’t be, we loved HAO and she was such a massive nerd.”

 

“If I wanted to constantly be called a nerd I’d go and hang out with Kelley and Tobin.” Alex huffed, turning her attention to the TV where is was showing the title menu of Aladdin again. “Come get me when we have to leave I’m going to do some of my presentation.” Alex stood up and walked towards her room, she walked in and shut the door most of the way over before sitting on her bed and pulling her laptop to her. She opened up her laptop and immediately sighed; she scrolled through six pages of words that after a while began melting into a black nothingness; she began typing up her second slide before deleting it; none of it made sense anyway. She picked up her phone and sent a text to Kelley.

 

I’m bored out of my mind doing this presentation, wanna keep me company? – Favorite Forward

 

A reply came through just seconds later,

 

Look up – Defender Extraordinaire

 

Alex furrowed her eyebrows before looking up; Kelley was leaning against the doorframe waving her phone in the air. “How did you know I’d be bored?”

 

“I didn’t, but I wanted to spend time with my favorite striker seeing as she’s benched for tonight’s game.” Kelley stuck her tongue out childishly as she walked into the room. Alex rolled her eyes and pushed her laptop off to the side as Kelley made herself comfortable on the bed, lying down and looking up at Alex. “So, your presentation ruining your life yet?” Kelley asked nodding towards the open laptop and the blank slide she had open. “It’s killing me; it’s so boring.” Alex yawned moving so she was lying down with her head resting on Kelley’s stomach. “I’ve only done one slide and I’m already completely done with it. I’m just glad I still have two weeks before it’s due.” Alex’s voice was gradually becoming more tired as Kelley’s hand moved to brush through Alex’s hair. “What’ve you done today?” Alex asked poking Kelley’s leg. “Tried not to throw up at how disgustingly cute Chris and Tobs are.”

 

“Press’ big surprise is next week right?” Alex asked, becoming gradually sleepier. Kelley hummed in agreement, “yeah; it’ll be a year since Christen told me she liked Tobin, see what I mean? It’s disgustingly cute.” Kelley didn’t get a reply from Alex and when she leant over to look down and chuckled at Alex asleep. Kelley moved back and spent the next ten minutes on her phone before she found herself drifting off to sleep too, and it wasn’t long before the pair were completely out of it; Alex’s work being long forgotten. Syd and Moe played three rounds of; rock, paper, scissors to decide who would go and tell Alex and Kelley it was time to leave; the only reason being was neither wanted to move from the couch, Syd lost because rock crushes scissors and she made her feelings known as she stomped down the hall to Alex’s room and threw open her bedroom door, once she found the pair asleep an idea came to her mind. She slid across the wooden floor seeing s she only had her socks on and leant down so her lips were right by Alex’s ear, Syd whispered “boo,” causing Alex to jerk forward from the sudden sound, she completely lost her balance as she tried to sit up she ended up falling off the end of her bed and falling flat on her front on the floor, the sound causing Kelley to wake up, and the string of curse words that followed had both Syd and Kelley sharing a panicked look as Alex hadn’t moved from her position on the floor yet. Kelley knelt down beside Alex and let her hand fall on the forward’s back. “Alex, hey are you ok?”

 

Alex sat up, clutching her right side as she grimaced. “Shit Alex; I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Syd said with a remorseful tone. Alex shook her head, “I’m good. You just scared me you goof.” Alex tried to smile normally but she was still wincing from the pain; Kelley still had her hand on Alex’s back, “well we have to go.” Syd mumbled before running out of the room. “How bad is it?” Kelley asked tucking some loose strands of hair behind Alex’s ear. “It’s okay, it’s probably just the impact.” Alex stood up and walked over to grab her bag and throw it over her shoulder, “let’s go; you don’t want to get in trouble for being late now do you?” Alex smirked causing Kelley to roll her eyes as Kelley followed Alex into the living room. “Welcome to the club Alex,” Morgan sent a smirk over to Syd who just pursed her lips. “What club? What are you going on about?”

 

“The club in which Syd gives us stupid injuries because she’s a fucking idiot.”

 

“Don’t act like you didn’t twist my ankle when you decided to build a makeshift basketball court in the kitchen.” Syd reminded the midfielder who just shrugged in response.

 

“Seriously I’m fine.” Alex lied through her teeth, her ribs still killing from hitting the floor.

 

The girls left the apartment; Kelley and Alex walking behind the other three. “I know you’re lying about your ribs.” Kelley said quietly, not wanting the others to hear. “I told you, it’s fine it just hurts a little.”

 

“You’re such a bad liar, remind me to never rope you into one of my schemes.”

 

“What schemes?” Alex asked warily noticing the mischievous glint in the defender’s eyes. “You’ll have to ask Tobin.”

 

~

 

Alex took her position on the bench beside ARod; both girls laughing as they pointed out a sign in the crowd that was not so subtly aimed at Tobin; “I hope Christen doesn’t see it, she’ll probably rip it up.” Amy mused only fuelling their laughter further. The anthem played and the girls got ready for kickoff; Kelley jogged to the sideline to get a drink of water, she winked at Alex before throwing the bottle down and jogging back to position. “You and Kelley are worse than Christen and Tobin.” Amy chuckled. “Are not.” Alex protested feeling the heat rise up her neck as the whistle blew for opening kickoff. The game started off so much slower than the first game, most of the play being kept in the middle of the pitch. Both teams were struggling to set up a successful sequence of play, if the ball got so far as to either defense, it was easily dealt with and a long ball was sent forward. Twenty minutes in, Alex let her head rest against Amy’s shoulder. “Is it bad if I say it’s boring?”

 

Amy laughed before shaking her head. “No, I agree. It’s not the best game.”

 

“If I took a nap do you think Paul would notice?” Alex asked looking over towards their coach with Amy doing the same. “I think he’s about to fall asleep.”

 

“Who can blame him?”

 

Amy and Alex continued to talk and point out ridiculous signs in the crowd, laughing and rating the best ones out of ten. They end up spending the end of the first half warming up, but mostly they’re just lazily jogging up and down the sideline whilst their focus is maintained on the game. The 43rd minute and the first attempt of the game falls to Minnesota with a shot from twenty yards from their number 11 which Alyssa catches comfortably, the half came to an end and I think everybody was grateful. Alex waited until Kelley had reached her, the defender looking lost in concentration as she headed down to the locker room with Alex following. “Hey, we’re not losing.”

 

“Not helping,” Kelley sang sitting down and taking her hair out to redo it as Alex sat down beside her, letting her head fall back against the the wall. The halftime talk went something along the lines of

 

“Stop slacking off.” “Minnesota aren’t going to be a pushover.” And “we’re better than this.”

 

The teams retake the field and for the first fifteen minutes of the second half; the game is played in similar fashion to the first with limited attempts on goal, until with 25 minutes left; Allie is the first to react to a low cross from Ali from the right that Minnesota just couldn’t deal with. 1-0. Amy is subbed in for Christen just five minutes later after the raven haired girl is on the receiving end of a rather rough tackle; Christen sits beside Alex, rolling her ankle to try and relieve some of the pain. “How she didn’t get booked for it is a joke.” Alex said to her and Christen nodded vehemently in agreement. The clock continued to tick down, the one lead was comfortable for Stanford who seemed to running down the clock more than anything, but you can never sit back in soccer even for a minute and after being too slow of the mark, Kelley is forced to chase down the Minnesota number 8 and when Kelley knows she’s well and truly past her, she makes the biggest mistake of tugging her shirt from behind and sending the midfielder to the ground – the whistle followed as did the penalty kick. Kelley kicked the ball out of play in frustration before turning around to find herself being rewarded with a yellow card. Kelley wants to argue but Becky already has hold of her arm and is pulling her away before she talks herself into a sending off. Kelley stands outside the penalty area as the whistle blows and the striker takes it, sending Alyssa the wrong way and placing the PK into the bottom right corner. 1-1 with a little under three minutes left. Becky tries her hardest to rally her team, to find that last minute winning goal. The game restarts and Syd passes the ball back to Allie, who notices Tobin overlapping her but still decides to send the ball across to Mewy who takes on two Minnesota players before playing a through ball to Syd which has everybody on their feet as the striker smacks the ball against the post, it bouncing out and finding Tobin who had continued with her run in the right place at the right time to tap the ball into an essentially empty net. Alex turns around and wraps Christen in a hug as the Stanford girls celebrate what is possibly the game winning goal. As the time continues to run out; Alex and Christen are stood side by side, their arms around each other waiting to hear the final whistle, once it was blown there was more of a sense of relief from around Maloney Field; they really did nearly screw that one up. Christen headed off to find Tobin and Alex walked onto the field to find Kelley when Becky wrapped her arms around Alex from behind. “Don’t; Kelley’s really pissed off with the PK. Just leave her to calm down before she says something she regrets.” Alex nodded against Becky and she let Alex go, she shook other player’s hands when Syd ran up behind her and hugged her. “Will you please drive us to Allie’s?” She asked, leaning over Alex’s shoulder to look at her roommate. “Why can’t JJ drive her own car?”

 

“She wants to get drunk; you promised you’d be DD the last time.”

 

“Yeah sure; I’m too tired to drink anyway.” Alex answered dismissively, her eyes falling on Kelley who was being held by Tobin as the midfielder led her down to the locker room. “You’re the best, love ‘ya Morgan.” Syd kissed Alex’s cheek before yelling for Allie and chasing after the blonde. Alex headed down to the locker room; walking past Kelley who was leaning against the wall outside as Tobin continued to talk to her, always keeping a hand on her shoulder; Alex and Kelley shared eye contact for a brief second before Kelley looked back at Tobin, a sullen look on her face as she nodded to what Tobin was telling her. Alex walked into the locker room, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth, it’s nothing, just keep calm.

 

Forty minutes later and the girls are in the car screaming out Beyoncé lyrics as Alex drives them to Allie’s house. Syd is the most hyped up for a night of drinking, a major change of mindset since Allie originally suggested the idea; it’s amazing what playing a full ninety minutes of soccer does. Alex’s hands are gripping the steering wheel a lot tighter than she probably should be and the scowl set on her face is dampening the mood of Julie who’s sitting in the passenger seat. As Alex stops at the red light, JJ nudges her and questions her on what’s wrong; Alex shrugs and blames it on being tired. Alex pulls up and parks the car behind Sonnett’s. She gets out of the car and watches as Morgan races towards Sam and JJ and Syd race into the house, both screaming tequila. Alex pockets JJ’s car keys and shoves her hands into her hoodie pockets as she walks into the house; she heads to the kitchen to grab a cup of soda before walking into the living room and sitting on the couch, starting up a conversation with Cheney and ARod. Alex started explaining Christen’s surprise for Tobin to them; ARod calling it cute and gushing over how sweet it was whereas Cheney just laughed and warned a bypassing Tobin that she better brace herself for the amount of merciless teasing Cheney was going to give her, Tobin furrowed her eyebrows as Alex smirked at her. Cheney and ARod were eventually dragged away to keep score on the beer pong tournament because they were the least drunk, and Alex declined insisting she wasn’t moving from the couch. Alex finished her drink and placed it on the table before leaning back on the couch when she felt a body sit beside her. Turning her head, Kelley was already wrapping her arms around Alex and sighing. Alex turned fully so she could hug her and gently brush her hand through Kelley’s freshly washed hair. “What’s up? I thought you’d be killing everyone at beer pong?” A hint of a smile appeared on Alex’s lips. “I could’ve lost us the game.” Kelley muttered, still angry with herself. Alex sighed, “It wasn’t your fault Kell and we won the game.”

 

“I shouldn’t have brought her down. I knew what I was doing.”

 

“I mean Becky was there to cover you.” Alex spoke slowly, not wanting to piss the freckled girl off further. “See! Even you know I screwed up.”

 

“I never said you screwed up.” Alex reminded her, forcing Kelley to sit up for a minute. Alex looked closely and once she saw how glazed over Kelley’s eyes were, “how much have you drank Kell?”

 

“A lot,” she muttered. “I was pissed off, t-this is why Paul hates me – I’m not good enough.”

 

“Kelley stop, you’re overreacting. Come on.” Alex stood up and extended her hand to Kelley. “What are you doing?” The defender asked, “I might be staying sober but I’m not letting you be an emotional mess tonight.” Kelley took Alex’s hand and the forward led her through their teammates until they’d reached the ongoing beer pong battle. Tobin and Emily were facing off, both sharing similar determined facial expressions as Tobin flicked the ball up and caught it. “You’ve got this Tobs.” Meghan took the snapback off her head and ruffled her hair before placing it back. “Give me your best shot Heath.” Emily narrowed her eyes at the midfielder. Kelley stood in front of Alex, the forward’s arms draped over her shoulders as she held them watching intently as Tobin threw the ball sinking in the red cup before she shrugged. “Never challenge me Sonnett.” Money was exchanged and the losers of the bet were sure to make their feelings known.

 

All in all, the night continued on in the same way, bets were made and stupid competitions were won and lost; Syd also wrestled Ashlyn to the floor at some point but nobody knows why that happened. Allie was also greeted by her pissed of neighbors threatening to call the police, to which she waved and informed them if they didn’t want to suffer through endless college parties why the fuck did they decide to move here, everyone started to crash a little after 2 AM, “Kelley, you do realize what’s on the front of this hoodie right?” Alex asked an increasingly tiring Kelley as she wrapped her fingers around the strings of the hoodie. Kelley looked down and the realization hit her and clear as day, the imprint of CAL was there for all to see. “Shut up Alex.” The defender grumbled causing Alex to laugh as she wrapped Kelley in her arms; their eyes dropping at the sight of Mewy, Moe and Emily engaging in a card game only they knew the rules to just a few feet away from them.


	9. Kling's Gonna Die

Christen Press doesn’t do anything by half; in fact; she spends hours carefully planning out most aspects of her life, writing down her daily plans in the pale blue notebook, using the same black biro that she’s had since the beginning of junior year; she doesn’t like to start her day unknowingly, except that is exactly what she is making Tobin do today, after weeks of planning and researching; Christen was sure she’d come up with the perfect scavenger hunt for Tobin – she’d planned every clue out carefully, using riddles that showcased a hint of her sarcastic charm that Tobin adores, but as the striker was sitting in the kitchen with the sun barely risen on the Sunday morning, she had started to over think everything. “I’m really nervous. Should I be this nervous?” Christen began fretting as she tightened her grip on the blue and white travel mug of coffee in her hands, placing it down on the counter before picking it up again. “Yeah Chris; you probably should.” Kelley replied yawning, still half asleep and annoyed at her best friend for hauling her out of bed at 6 AM on a Sunday. “Kelley!” Christen chastised glaring down the defender, feeling panic rise in her chest; the last thing she wanted today was her best friend to start doubting her hard work. Kelley rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and took a couple of sips of her coffee to wake herself up, it didn’t happen but Kelley pulled through. “Christen,” Kelley reached over and took hold of one of the raven haired girl’s hands. “Are you seriously questioning whether Tobin Heath; the girl who stayed up all night with your flu-ridden ass the night before the NCAA semi-finals last year is not the same girl who you’re worried about not being completely in love with you?” Kelley’s voice was laced with sleep as she forced herself to keep her eyes open to see the realization hit the forward’s face and watch her cheeks heat up. “Yeah; you refused to come near me for the entire night.” Christen teased, “you were scared I was going to infect you.”

 

“You would’ve! Tobs had the flu all that next week.” Kelley reminded, “but seriously Chris; this is perfect, the sooner you two idiots admit you’re more than friends the better.”

 

Christen felt herself relax as she sent a smile over to Kelley who responded with a reassuring one of her own until it faltered slightly. “Are you sure you really want Kling handling the clues though? She’s probably going to mix them up somehow.” Kelley’s voice was wary, Christen shook her head. “No, no; Kling’s taking Emily and Moe with her, they’ve tricked Tobin into the premise of Tobin being the referee in one of Moe and Sonnett’s dumbass competitions.”

 

“But still; why couldn’t you have asked me or Alex or even Cheney and ARod?” Kelley continued to press the subject. “You and Alex know about it so Tobin’s obviously going to suspect something. Cheney’s spending the day with her boyfriend and Amy’s going shopping with Syd.”

 

“There still had to be someone more responsible than Meghan.” Kelley grumbled reaching for her near empty mug of coffee. “So, you’re going to the field at like three, right?” Kelley asked for clarification but her attention was falling on the loose thread from the sleeve of the hoodie she was wearing. “You’ve been wearing that hoodie for two days straight Kell; are you ever going to give it back to Alex?” Christen asked, bringing the travel mug to her lips to hide her smile. Kelley caught a glimpse of her face and mumbled out a feeble, and definitely not meant “shut up Chris.”

 

The best friends sat exchanging tired smiles as they finalized the plan; making sure everything was in place, despite Kelley’s willingness to change a lot of the ideas to something completely irrelevant and/or “Kelley that is literally the stupidest thing you’ve ever said and I’ve known you for three years.” After settling for Christen’s plan, despite the defender’s protests; the clock has just ticked past 8 AM; Christen has a fresh mug of coffee and Tobin is trudging sleepily into the kitchen yawning and making grabby hands towards Christen, well Christen’s coffee. “Not a chance Heath; make your own I’m heading out.”

 

“Me too; Kling, Sonnett and Moe will be here soon.” Kelley reminded her. “Get dressed and no snapbacks.” Kelley warned, wagging her finger at her best friend. “If I’m just going to stop Emily and Moe from killing themselves; why can’t I wear a snapback?” Tobin asked pouring herself some coffee; Christen froze up but realized she was eternally grateful to have Kelley and her quick comebacks. “Tobin, you never see referees wearing snapbacks; so you can’t either.”

 

“Fine.” The midfielder grumbled. “I’ll see you two later.” She waved as Kelley and Christen left the apartment.

 

~

 

Twenty minutes away and Meghan was sat on Emily’s bed, flicking through the twelve perfectly handwritten clues; studying them, despite Meghan already knowing the answers because she had a separate pile with the answers on if Tobin was stuck on one particular clue and they were starting to lose daylight. “I still can’t believe Christen is trusting you.” Emily laughed swiping the cards from Meghan’s grip, the older girl scrambling to take them back. “I can say this idea is so ridiculously Christen; it’s sickeningly cute.” Emily looked through the cards, rolling her eyes and pretending like she wasn’t finding the entire ordeal adorable. “Excuse me Sonnett; she’s trusting me because I can be trusted unlike you and Morgan.”

 

“That’s ridiculous. You lose everything, car keys, hotel keys, your ID – did you ever find that by the way?” Emily questioned leaning over the back of the bed backwards. “No, I had to get a new one.” Meghan huffed as she tried to reach for the index cards again, but Emily was quick to raise them above her head. “I’m reading through these and I love Tobin, like a lot that kid is one of my favorite people but even I don’t think she’ll be able to figure out these riddles.”

 

“What are you going on about, they’re not hard.” Meghan successfully pulled the cards from her defensive partner’s grip and read the first one out; “we’re ready to start the day; your favorite passage of play is always conducted in this oddly familiar way; where do you think you will find the present that’s forever on your mind?”

 

“See, it sounds stupid.”

 

“I’m telling Press you said that.” Meghan laughed, not missing the horrified expression on Emily’s face. “She’d kill me, then Kelley would kill me and Tobin would make sure I was dead.”

 

“You’re so overdramatic.” Meghan laughed, fanning her face with the index cards, Emily took them back with the words “you can’t be trusted to hold them.” Moe pushed open the bedroom door to announce her arrival but in typical Morgan Brian style she tripped on the rug and fell flat on her face leading to raucous laughter from the two defenders. Morgan sat up and huffed out, “laugh again and so help me god I will kill you.” Morgan warned the pair, Meghan shut up immediately but Emily couldn’t help laughing for another second or two leading Morgan to jump up and start chasing Emily around the apartment, Emily had managed to run into the kitchen freely when she was essentially tackled from behind by Morgan and sent tumbling across the floor, the index cards flying out of her hand and flying in all directions. “Shit, we’re fucking screwed.”

 

“What happened?” Meghan asked, hearing the commotion from the room. She walked into the kitchen and her jaw dropped at the sight of the cards thrown in all directions in front of her, Meghan turned to Emily and Morgan who were sharing similar sheepish smiles but their eyes showed nothing but fear. “Oh you two are fucking dead.” She deadpanned rushing to grab the cards, her face dropping when she realized that Christen had forgotten to number the cards, unusually. “I can’t remember the order, they’re not numbered; we’re dead.” Meghan shared a deer in the headlights look with her two friends who were still lying in the same position having not made an effort to move. “It can’t be that hard; they’ve got to follow along from each other…” Even Morgan wasn’t convinced but it was the best idea any of them had. Emily and Morgan shuffled closer as they started picking up the cards, they spent the next five minutes arguing over whether the clue involving food came before the clue involving Allie. Meghan threw the three cards she was holding down on the floor, “this is useless; we should just call Christen.”

 

“No way! She’ll kill me and Moe.” Emily vehemently protested the decision. “I’ll take the risk.” Meghan smiled as sweetly as she could as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and called Christen. The forward answered on the third ring, “Hey Meghan; what’s up?” Christen sounded a little frazzled, probably from stressing. Meghan put her phone on speaker and lay her phone flat on the floor. “Just a quick question; what would you do if we dropped the clues and mixed them up?” Meghan asked bracing herself for the answer. “WHAT?” Christen’s voice lowered when she realized people were looking at her. “What the hell have you done?”

 

“Nothing.” Meghan quickly answered which received confused looks from the two girls sitting in front of her. “It’s hypothetical.” Meghan shrugged and Christen’s sigh of relief could be heard on the other line. “Well, hypothetically if you three did anything to screw this up you’re dead.”

 

“Chris-” Moe smacked her hand over Emily’s mouth as Meghan squeaked out a nervous “good to know, see ‘ya later.” Before she ended the call and Emily licked Morgan’s hand to get it off her. “What do we do now?”

 

The girls had no time to think of a plan before the door opened and Tobin waltzed in, swinging her keys around her finger leading Moe to scramble the clues together, not caring about the order they were in and shoving them in her hoodie pocket. “You have two couches in here, why are you sitting on the floor?” Tobin asked looking between the bewildered expressions on her friend’s faces. “No reason; we should really get going; Moe’s been trash talking Emily all morning.” Meghan jumped up and pushed Tobin out of the door she’d only just walked through, turning around and making a cut throat gesture to the two Georgia natives looking guilty as sin behind her. “Don’t breathe a word; we’ll just wing it.”

 

“Oh yes, because when has ‘winging it’ ever gone wrong?” Moe rolled her eyes as she wrapped her arm around Emily’s shoulders as the four of them headed out to start the world’s worst scavenger hunt. Meghan and Tobin walked ahead, whilst Emily and Morgan walked behind trying to decipher which of the clues came first, “it’s that one; the passage of play one, I read that out before – that’s definitely the first!” Emily exclaimed feeling pretty proud of herself, Emily leant forward and shoved the clue into Meghan’s hands, “first one.” Emily and Morgan continued to sort through the cards as Meghan hands the clue to Tobin. “First contest; read it out ref.”

 

“We’re ready to start the day; your favorite passage of play is always conducted in this oddly familiar way; where do you think you will find the present that’s forever on your mind?” Tobin turned around with her eyebrows raised, “what is this?”

 

“A clue; figure it out.”

 

“Was this Christen’s idea?” Tobin asked, trying to ignore the heat rising up her neck as she clutched the yellow piece of card. “Just figure out the clue Tobs.” Meghan told her whilst backing up to lean against Morgan as the midfielder furrowed her eyebrows, “I don’t get it.”

 

“Think about it,” Morgan pushed. Tobin focused on the end of the clue, “where do you think you will find the present that’s forever on your mind? Soccer’s always on my mind?”

 

Meghan let out a sound of surprise, “Maybe you’re cleverer than I thought Heath.”

 

“So am I looking for a soccer ball or something?” Tobin asked looking between the three, “don’t ask us; this is your clue.”

 

Tobin scratched the back of her neck as she looked around the open field in front of her, glancing between all sides until she saw a soccer ball by one of the trees, she jogged over and flicked it up reading the taped on note. She jogged back to her friends and read it out, “Congratulations you’re on your way, time for clue number two.” Tobin looked at the cards in Emily’s hand. “What’s clue two?”

 

Emily and Morgan exchanged a nervous glance as they silently argued over which was the second clue; Morgan taking controlling and shoving a card into Tobin’s hand, the confusion etched on her face as undeniable.

 

~

 

Christen spent most of the day in the library, trying to study but she kept losing her concentration as she looked down at her phone and reveled in the fact that in less than an hour she would finally be telling Tobin that she loves her; maybe Christen’s making a massive deal out of it, but this is the woman that Christen loves more than she’s ever loved anyone before. Everybody knows how much they love each other, if the constant physical contact and lovesick grins weren’t enough for them or their friends, the shameless flirting was the biggest hint. Emily and Kelley are right, they are the second most married couple on the team after Ali and Ashlyn. Christen smiled as she let her pen fall against her notebook, the sound of her phone ringing bringing her out of her thoughts, Christen glanced down at her phone and smiled when she saw Kelley’s name gracing the screen; she answered the phone. “How are you holding up Press? Thinking of backing out yet?”

 

“You really have no faith in me do you Kell?” Christen asked, rolling her eyes at her best friend. “I do have faith in you Christen, just not when it comes to Tobin.”

 

“I’m offended,” Christen laughs closing her notebook over. “Do you think you can last another hour before heading to tell the love of your life just how much you love her.”

 

“You make it sound like some grand gesture Kelley.” Christen tugs her bottom lip between her teeth. “I mean, I know it is a grand gesture but I don’t know; Tobin’s just really worth it.”

 

“I’m going to remember this conversation when I’m toasting you two at your wedding.” And Christen could almost hear the smirk in her best friend’s voice. “That might be the only tasteful thing you toast to at Chris and Tobs’ wedding.” Alex interjected, causing Christen to laugh and Kelley to mutter an incoherent response, the sound of her swatting Alex’s arm could be heard on the other line. “Seriously though Press; you’ve been planning this for weeks and it’s going to be fine.”

 

“I know.”

 

“If I come home to find you two making out on the couch or even worse-” Kelley shudders on the other line for effect. “I’m moving out and moving in with Alex.”

 

“No you’re not!” Alex yells on the other line, “Thanks Kell; I just can’t wait to get it over with now.”

 

“Who says romance is dead?” Kelley quips making Christen roll her eyes again. “I have to go, Alex has made me actual human food.”

 

“As opposed to the non-human food we have at our apartment?” Christen laughs feeling the damning weight lifted from her shoulders during a five minute conversation with her best friend. “You got it Press; I’ll see you back at our apartment later with your girlfriend.” The call ends abruptly and Christen can only look down at her phone and chuckle softly as she lays her phone flat beside her notebook.

 

Five minutes away from the library; the gang of four are walking around aimlessly, trying to soothe a pissed off Tobin who has so far waded through a lake ten minutes off campus after Emily read the third clue wrong, twice, nearly got run over when Meghan was convinced she saw the snapback that Christen had left for clue five on the other side of the road as she pushed Tobin to go and retrieve it, taking no precautions to the car just inches away from colliding with the midfielder. “I said I was sorry.”

 

“Yeah; I would’ve appreciated it more on my deathbed.” Tobin scowled, turning around and glaring at the defender. “We’ve still only found the ball by the way.” Tobin reminded the three whilst juggling the ball as they walked down the street. “How long do we have?” Morgan asked quietly, “Press says to meet her in an hour; what if we just go to the restaurant now, I mean as long as Tobin and Christen end up at the same place who cares about the hunt?”

 

“I think Christen will care.” Emily spoke up, “she did spend like three weeks planning this.”

 

“You dropped the cards.” Meghan pointed out, “Moe tackled me.” Emily responded nudging the midfielder. “Where are they supposed to meeting anyway?” Moe asked rubbing her shoulder from where Emily not so softly ‘nudged’ her. “That burger place that Kelley and Tobin always used to sneak off to.”

 

“How romantic.” Emily mused. “Shut up Sonnett; I’m pretty sure the last date you had was in high school.” Meghan rolled her eyes as she shoved her hands in her pockets. Moe snorted, “Ok that’s cute; you think Sonnett’s ever actually had a date.”

 

“I had a date, once.” She replied, mumbling the last part. “Making out with people at parties don’t count.”

 

“It is if all your dates end up in make out sessions.” Emily grumbled, Moe wrapped her arm around the blonde’s shoulder. “What? All one of your dates?”

 

“When you three stop arguing over Sonnett’s love life; do you want to tell me where I’m supposed to be going?”

 

“Burger place; let’s move it, we’re running out of time.” Meghan ran up behind Tobin and swiped the ball midair from her, holding it under her arm as the four headed to the restaurant, meanwhile; Christen packed up her stuff and headed out of the library after admitting to herself she wouldn’t be able to sit still for ten more minutes. Christen left the library to head over to Maloney Field, knowing it would be empty for the day.

 

~

 

Christen sat down on the field, doing whatever she could to stop her legs bouncing up and down in anticipation, but mostly nerves, this was the boldest thing Christen has ever done; she even carried on dating her high school boyfriend for a few weeks longer until he broke up with her after she realized she liked girls but was too scared to break up with him; in the end she just gave up caring until he broke up with her. Christen doesn’t forwardly come out and tell people she loves them, she waits, but during a talk with Kelley exactly this time last year; Kelley set the realization on the forward that if Christen ever wanted to date Tobin she’d have to initiate it because there was no way Tobin would ever admit she had feelings for her, and after spending a restless night trying to think of any other solution, Christen sighed and accepted that if she ever wanted Tobin, she’d have to do it herself. Christen stared down at her phone, six minutes until Tobin should be arriving, the nerves were beginning to settle a little bit; maybe it was choosing to spend the entire day alone that had the forward feeling scared, well, a lot more scared than she knows she should be – it’s Tobin after all, Christen knows the midfielder isn’t just her best friend.

 

You got this CP!! – KO

Thanks KO, love you!! – Press

Love you too!! Not as much as Tobin though – KO

 

Christen rolled her eyes at the text and locked her phone before setting it beside her. She’d rehearsed the speech so many times in her head, she told it to Kelley so many times, each time was met with Kelley replying with the words; “Chris if you tell me this speech one more time I’m going to fall in love with you.”

 

It was the old classic, “you’ve been my best friend for so long but somewhere along the line I fell in love with you…” It was cliché and overused, Christen knew this better than anybody but sometimes cliché works and in this case, the cliché-r the better, everything she was going to say to Tobin was everything she’d wanted to say for a year but always bit her tongue before she could; it’s amazing what the fear of rejection can do to people. Christen was ready though; she promised herself she’d make her senior year one to remember and this was the first step she was taking.

 

Over at the restaurant; Tobin was leaning against the wall outside listening to Meghan chat on about whatever nonsense came to mind to try and run down the clock until Christen arrived. Tobin was nervous; she didn’t know why she was but she assumed something was up, the scavenger hunt and secrecy was clue enough but Tobin knew something bigger was going to happen once she was reunited with her favorite striker, Tobin just didn’t know what it was. “Kling I love ‘ya but shut up.” Tobin smiled to soften the blow, Meghan just shrugged and looked down at her phone. “Four minutes Heath; I hope you’re ready for this.”

 

“Why do I have a feeling the whole team knows about this but me?”

 

“Because they do you goof,” Meghan laughed ruffling the midfielder’s hair despite Tobin’s protests. “Seriously, you’re going to love Christen for this.”

 

“That could mean anything; just give me a clue Kling, anything.” Tobin wasn’t going to beg, but she wasn’t far off. “Not a chance Tobin; just wait, she’ll be here soon.”

 

“This isn’t fair; I’ve walked through a lake for this; I deserve a better clue.” Tobin huffed folding her arms and sighing. “I’m going to go; come find me later Heath.” Meghan wiggled her eyebrows before heading down the street, pulling out her phone to call Morgan. Tobin rolled her eyes as she watched until Meghan was completely out of sight.

 

Both girls were waiting at their respected places; both becoming irritated and nervous as time continued pass. They could accept being five minutes late, they could also accept being ten minutes late, fifteen minutes was beginning to push it, twenty minutes resulted in sighing and promising themselves they’d leave if they didn’t arrive in five minutes and after twenty-five minutes of being stood up by the other; their moods were drastically different; Tobin Heath didn’t get pissed off a lot, but when she did she would find herself seconds away from wanting to punch something and so after looking at her phone and realizing she’d been standing outside the restaurant like an idiot for nearly half an hour, she rolled her eyes and laughed bitterly. “I knew it,” she hissed before pushing herself off the wall, the ball under her arm; there was only one place she was going now. Christen on the other hand had volleyed between being nervous, increasingly worried and when the first signs of grey clouds floated above her head, she didn’t even try to stop the tears filling her eyes, she picked up her phone and called Kelley, the defender answering pretty quickly. “Yo Press!” The background noise eases as Kelley must’ve moved so that she could hear better, “I thought you and Tobin would’ve been making out now.”

 

“S-She-”

 

“Shit Christen, what’s up?” Kelley asked, feeling more alert to the disgruntled shakiness in her best friend’s voice. “She stood me up Kell.” Christen sighs, wanting nothing more than to run home and curl up in bed and cry. Kelley fought back the urge to roll her eyes and make a comment about how Meghan shouldn’t have been in charge of the hunt. “Do you want me to come and get you, or are you going to come home?” Kelley asks gesturing to Ashlyn to turn the music down because she can’t hear. “I-I’m coming home. I don’t think I can wait any longer.” The call ends abruptly, Kelley pulling the phone away from her ear and just staring at it. “What happened?” Alex asked walking over and letting her head fall on her shoulder. “I’m going to kill Meghan.” Kelley mutters. Not long after the phone call, Emily and Morgan walk into Kelley’s apartment laughing as they continue to eat their frozen yoghurt. Kelley is sat on the kitchen counter, Alex beside her with the defender glaring to the other two Georgia natives, eyes narrowed as she bites down on her lip to the point where she thinks she can taste blood. “Stop glaring at them, you’ll burn a hole in their faces.” Alex teases, leaning in to whisper in Kelley’s ear. “That’s the best they’re going to get.”

 

The door opens a couple of minutes later, and a sullen looking Christen walks in with Alex and Kelley instantly hopping off the counter to rush to the striker’s side, both hugging her. “Come on; let’s go and talk.” Alex softly rubs Christen’s shoulder, the looks from everybody else in the living room sharing confused glances. Emily and Morgan look at Christen before looking at each other, each shrugging and asking where Tobin is. Alex leads Christen into her room and sits her on her bed. Kelley shuts the door over and leans against it, arms folded as Christen finally does what she’s been avoiding since the field and starts crying before leaning into Alex’s side and mumbling about how she should’ve expected Tobin would back out, or if she realized halfway through what was going to happen and freaked out, Alex doing her best to try and reassure her that’s not the reason. Kelley was biting the inside of her cheek, the anger bubbling inside her, “this is ridiculous; you can’t think that Tobin would actually stand you up?”

 

“She did though!” Christen exclaims, “She left me there for nearly half an hour.”

 

A knock at the door brings the three girls’ attention, Kelley moves out of the way and opens the door as an enraged Tobin storms into the room. “What the fuck Press?!”

 

“W-What?” Christen asks in surprise, “What the hell are you doing here?” She asked regaining some composure and dignity. Tobin just laughs, “I should be asking you that! Why the fuck did you stand me up?!”

 

“Stand you up? I never stood you up, you stood me up!” Christen stands up and yells at her. Kelley climbs rather clumsily onto the bed and sits beside Alex. “I never stood you up, I followed your stupid scavenger hunt and all it got me was wading through a lake, and Kling nearly getting me run over but yeah, I’m the one who’s in the wrong.” Tobin rolls her eyes, “don’t you dare; don’t roll your eyes at me or place the blame on me.”

 

“I’m going to, what do you think you were trying to do?”

 

“Forget it; I was at the field for nearly half an hour, you stood me up. End of the fucking story.” Christen sneered moving to walk past Tobin when the midfielder stopped her, her facial expression was softer and now just a look of confusion. “You were at the field?”

 

“Yes Tobin. I was where I was supposed to be.”

 

“Kling said the burger place.” Tobin said shaking her head. Christen felt her anger start to fade away, “no, no; you were supposed to be at the field.”

 

Meghan’s laughter echoed from the living room. “MEGHAN FUCKING KLINGENBERG.” Tobin yelled, Christen following as the pair ran into the living room where the defender was staring up at them with a terrified expression. “Uh oh; Kling’s gonna die.” Emily whispered eliciting a laugh from Morgan as the defender looked up at Christen and Tobin with the fear of god in her eyes. “I WILL LITERALLY KILL YOU.” Tobin glared at her, and Meghan was convinced the midfielder was going to punch her until Christen placed her hand on Tobin’s shoulder to stop her. “What the fuck dude?”

 

“It was dumb and dumber, not me.” Meghan squeaked running over to Ashlyn and hiding behind the keeper as all eyes fell on Emily and Morgan, including Alex and Kelley who’d left the room not wanting to miss out on the action. “What the fuck did you two do?” Tobin asked, still seething but mostly because she’d gotten mad at Christen for nothing.

 

“Morgan tackled me, sorry dude.” Emily pat her buddy on the shoulder before moving to the other couch, “Emily let the cards fly out of her hand. Blame her.”

 

“Blame Kling!” Kelley interjected receiving a swift punch to the shoulder from Alex and an outraged “HEY!” From Meghan who was still hiding behind Ashlyn.

 

Tobin ran a hand through her hair, Christen sighed until realization hit her, “That’s why you called me and asked me what I’d do if you’d hypothetically mixed up the clues isn’t it?”

 

“This is gold; I told you not to trust dumb, dumber and the dumbest of them all.” Kelley chuckled. Tobin turned around to Christen, “so what was supposed to happen once I saw you?” Tobin asked, completely disregarding what had happened for the minute. Christen ducked her head, throughout all the chaos she’d forgotten what she’d intended to do and she could almost feel her courage forsaking her by the second. “I-It was, um – you know I’d feel better about this if our teammates were not in teasing distance.” Christen laughed softly, “Ok; let’s go and talk about it where we were supposed to.”

 

Sitting down on the field; Christen felt her courage slowly start to filter back into her veins as she looked over at Tobin who was lying on her back staring up at the sun which was beginning to set, her arm over her face as she squinted in presence of the bright sky. “So Press; shoot, what was it you wanted to talk about?”

 

“Us, you, me, what we’re doing.” Christen answered a little too quickly, and the answer had Tobin sitting up and brushing her hair out of her face as she studied Christen’s expression. “I don’t know; no wait, I do know. Don’t laugh at the cliché-ness; you’re my best friend Tobin and I can somewhere since we’ve been friends I um, I realized I loved you and um-”

 

Christen didn’t get a chance to finish the speech she’d been repeating in her head for weeks because Tobin had already cut her off with a kiss, “I don’t say it often Chris; but stop talking.”

 

If Christen and Tobin spent twenty minutes making out on the field where anybody could see them; they were more than happy with it, and when they walked back into the apartment hand in hand trying to hide their swollen lips, even though Kelley O’Hara is more than vigilant when it comes to her friends ‘activities’, she didn’t mention it – at least for ten minutes.

 

~

 

A week later and Alex was nervously pacing her room, index cards in her hand as she reread the first one again and again. Her presentation was in less than thirty minutes and she was slowly freaking out, this was worth 10% of her grade and even though it didn’t seem like much, with impending graduation, every single mark counts when it comes to the final grade. Alex sighed and looked down at the third index card in the pile (she numbered them, she wasn’t going to make the same mistake Christen did). Alex read over it in her head as she tried to make sense of the words she spent nearly four hours writing up yesterday. “Lex, you’re going to do fine.” Alex stopped pacing and turned to look at Kelley who was lying on her bed, “Did you just call me Lex?” The forward asked, Kelley sat up and tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, “I didn’t realize, sorry?” Alex shook her head and walked over to her bed, “no don’t be; I just haven’t been called it in a long time.”

 

“How long?” Kelley asked warily, Alex sighed knowing she was hinting at one person in-particular. “Yeah Kell; she was the last person to call me it.”

 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be bringing it up just before your presentation.” Kelley leant forward and allowed her hand to curl around Alex’s wrist. “You know you’re going to be fine? You’ve worked hard on this and even though I can’t understand any word of it, it’s really good.” Alex laughed and nodded, “thanks Kell; I just can’t wait for it to be over.”

 

“I wish I could sneak in again, but I’ll settle for waiting outside for you to be done.”

 

“With a hug when I talk myself into a fail?” Alex mused, feeling the weight fall back on her shoulders just seconds after Kelley had lifted it. “I thought I told you to stop acting so negative.”

 

“I’m sorry, I know; I know. I’m working on it.” Alex flashed the defender a smile as she looked down at her phone. “I should probably go,” Alex put her index cards into her pocket and grabbed her flash drive and phone from her bed. Kelley stood up and wrapped the forward in a hug, “you’ve got this Morgan.” Kelley kissed the side of her head. “I’ll see you after it?”

 

“You know it.” Alex smiled before leaving her room, accepting the chants of ‘good luck’ from her roommates as she left the building and headed over to her lecture. Her hands were beginning to feel clammy and start shaking as the anxiousness started to build up again. Alex closed her eyes and took two deep breaths as she pulled open the door to her class, “Hey Alex.” Alex let out a strangled squeal and jumped at the voice from beside her, “Sorry; I didn’t mean to scare you.” Opening her eyes, Alex looked to the side and plastered on a fake smile for Drew. “Hey, no; don’t worry. I’m just over-thinking this presentation.”

 

“You? You’re really intelligent Alex, you’re going to smash it.”

 

“Thanks Drew,” Alex knew she was being polite, honestly those were the first words they’d spoken to each other since the last awkward conversation they’d had. Taking her seat, Alex didn’t even try to stop the way her leg was bouncing or the way she was biting down on her bottom lip as the first presentations began; all of them having Alex scan the words of her own speech to make sure they were talking about similar things; it’s the little things that can only encourage her at this point. Drew was the last person to present before her, he spoke with so much confidence; Alex knew she didn’t have that confidence. “Oh god this is going to be a disaster.” Alex muttered tugging her hair out of her ponytail and letting her hair fall over the side of her shoulder.

 

You’ve got this superstar!! Smash it and we’ll celebrate at Cheney’s party ok? – Defender Extraordinaire

 

“Alex? Your presentation please.” Alex dropped her phone at the sound of her lecturer’s voice. “Of course,” Alex nodded. “Let’s do this.”

 

Apart from a few stammers here and there and having to repeat a line once or twice; Alex will count that presentation as a success. “You did good Alex; I knew you would.”

 

“Thanks Drew, it means a lot; honestly.” Alex smiled sincerely as Drew held the door open for her, they both walked out and Kelley stood up staying true to her promise of meeting Alex afterwards although the defender seemed less please to see Drew, even though she knew she had no reason to. “How was it?” Kelley asked, Alex grinned “better than I thought. Proud of me?” The forward asked, smirking.

 

“Extremely,” Kelly replied with the same tone opening her arms for a hug. Alex wrapped Kelley in her arms tightly, “We don’t have long until Cheney’s party. We should probably go.” Kelley reminded her, not so subtly glaring at Drew who sensed the awkwardness and told Alex he’d catch her later. Alex buried her head into the crook of Kelley’s neck and started laughing, “you’re unbelievable O’Hara.” Alex leant back, “You say I’m the jealous one; at least I wasn’t the one trying to blow Drew’s head up with my eyes.”

 

“I’m not jealous.” Kelley grumbled holding her hand out for Alex to take, “Kell; I think you’re forgetting a small detail, I’m gay remember?”

 

“I know,” Kelley huffed, “I’m not jealous.”

 

“Sure you’re not babe,” Alex laughed leaning over to kiss Kelley’s cheek. “So; what’s my prize for not fainting during my presentation?”

 

“You say I’m unbelievable.” Kelley rolled her eyes as the two left the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes or no for drama?
> 
> you know i hate people who expect you to lie to spare their feelings, like dude no i will upset you if i have to


	10. I Want To Hold Your Stupid Hand

Alex and Julie were sat on their bedroom floor, JJ was curling her hair or at least trying to because whenever she grabbed a piece of hair to curl, Syd was pulling the curlers out of her hand to ask her another pointless question, this time the question of choice was “are you sure Zach doesn’t know any cute football players?”

 

“I highly doubt Zach looks at his friends and thinks ‘oh my god you’re so cute, I know a girl perfect for you.” Moe snorted loudly, popping another piece of chocolate in her mouth. “If you carry on eating junk food, no one’s going to date you.” Syd huffed breaking a piece off and eating it. “Will you two shut up and start getting ready?” Julie turned to look at them all the while taking her curlers back from Syd and continuing with her hair. “I’m going to get ready.” Moe replied, rolling onto her back as she started scrolling through her phone. “Moe you haven’t even showered yet, and we have to leave in half an hour.” Alex reminded her, grabbing a packet of makeup wipes and throwing them at the midfielder, laughing and high-fiving Syd when the packet caught Morgan in the face. “If you’re going to start being violent; I’m out of here.” Morgan huffed pulling herself off the bed and heading towards the bathroom. Syd leant over again but this time didn’t touch the curlers but still proceeded to ask more pointless questions. “Do you think we could double date with you and Zach?”

 

“You need a boyfriend for that Syd.” Alex reminded her, looking at the striker through the reflection in the mirror. “You’re single too remember. I don’t see you trying to find yourself a girl.”

 

“She already has one; her and Kelley have been basically dating since they met.” Julie smirked as she finished curling her hair, except for two pieces. “We’re not dating; you two are the worst.” Alex whined standing up to walk to her closet to find a top to wear, trying hard to ignore Syd and Julie’s laughter. Alex pulled out an off-white tank and hums as she tries to decide between that and a striped t-shirt; all Alex knows is it’s far too humid out for the end of September and she wants to stay as cool as possible. Julie finished her hair and turned her curlers off before standing up and ruffling her hair; a scream was heard from the bathroom before Morgan came running in, hair soaked and clutching a towel around herself. “What’s happened?” Alex asked noticing the fear of god in the midfielder’s eyes. “There’s a spider in the shower. I can’t. This is the worst day of my life.”

 

“Really Moe? The worst day of your life because of a spider?” Syd tried to stifle her laughter as Morgan turned around to glare at her. “I’ll go and get rid of it, we can’t have our poor baby being scared.” Alex pinched Morgan’s cheeks as she ripped a piece of paper out of her notebook before heading to the bathroom; being the only one of three daughters to not be scared of insects of any kind comes in useful at times like this. She found the spider by the drain, “sorry little guy; Moe hates you.” Alex said before furrowing her eyebrows as she realized she was talking to a spider, she brought it onto the paper before opening the bathroom window slightly to let it out, she shook the paper before scrunching it up and shutting the window, throwing the paper in the trash as she walked back into the bedroom. “Problem solved,”

 

“My hero,” Morgan grinned wrapping her arms around Alex. “I’d hug you back but you’re soaking wet, go and get ready.” Morgan nodded and scurried off to her room. “Are you sure you can’t get Zach to hook me up; I think I need to get laid.” Syd asked again eliciting another eye roll from Julie. “I think everybody at this school knows you need to get laid Syd; you’re such a pain in the ass lately.”

 

“No I’m not,” the striker protested, “I don’t complain that much.”

 

“You threw an empty bottle at my head yesterday because I was talking too loudly.” Alex reminded her, “yeah and you complained throughout all of last night about what was on TV but you made no effort to change the channel.” Julie added. “Alright god; I get the point.” Syd grumbled, not wanting to hear any more of it. Alex pulled her t-shirt off and replaced it with the tank top, it fell so that the bottom of her black shorts were just about visible. “I’m just saying; I’m at a school with so many guys and not one of them want to date me; I’m hot, isn’t that how this shit works?”

 

“The lack of modesty in this apartment is shocking,” Julie piped up from the floor where she was rummaging for her lip gloss. “Syd where did you put it?”

 

“My bedside table,” the forward answered dismissively, still evidently deep in thought. Julie stood up and sauntered off to Syd and Moe’s room. Morgan ran into the room in just a bra and jeans before yelling at the top of her voice.

 

“ALEX CAN I BORROW A SHIRT?”

 

Alex and Syd jumped at the shrill sound of Morgan’s shout, both girls turning to look at Morgan who was waiting patiently with her hands on her hips, “yeah sure, go and look for one.” Alex answered smiling at her friend as Morgan slid across the floor to Alex’s closet and began sifting through her neatly piled shirts, not caring that she was making a mess of them. Julie walks back into the bedroom without the lip gloss but instead holding an already opened envelope. “Hey Syd; what’s this?” JJ asked bringing Syd to look at the envelope upside down from her position on the bed. “I don’t know, an envelope?” Syd answered back, the sarcastic twinge in her voice not going completely unnoticed. “A letter, about graduating next month?”

 

“What?” Alex furrowed her eyebrows. “I didn’t even know you could graduate that early.” Even Morgan had stopped looking for a shirt with their eyes falling on the forward who hadn’t yet moved from her position or offered up a response until, “you can graduate an entire year early Alex; graduating six months early is nothing special.”

 

“You’re actually going to do it?” Julie’s voice was full of surprise. “Syd you cannot be serious?” Julie’s voice started to waver and all she wanted to do right now was to rip up the letter and talk her friend out of it. “I never said I was going to do it; it was just a thought at the start of the year…”

 

“You’ve had nearly two months to tell us, and we wouldn’t have found out at all if JJ hadn’t found the letter.” Alex chided, pushing Syd’s legs across the bed so she could sit down. “Don’t overreact; I would’ve told you eventually.”

 

“You’re the last person I imagined pulling something like this; I thought it would be someone like Cheney honestly.”

 

“Cheney wouldn’t do it; she’s too obsessed with graduating with Tobin and Amy.” Alex spoke, pulling at the threads of Julie’s comforter. “Syd, why?” Alex asked leaning over to turn the music down further, “Why wouldn’t you tell us?”

 

“I hadn’t made my decision; there was no point upsetting you.” Syd’s voice was harsh but choked up at the same time. “No offence but you guys are kind of depressing me right now, and all I wanted was a fun night.” Syd rolled off the bed and stood up walking past Julie and taking the letter before heading back to her room. “Well shit, not the buildup to Cheney’s party I thought we’d have.” Morgan deadpanned holding up a sheer white top, “anyway; I can borrow this right?” She asked Alex who nodded, not lifting her head. “One of us should go and check on her, right?”

 

“Julie found the letter, she should do it.” Morgan said looking at the defender, Julie opened her mouth to argue but shrugged and admitted Morgan was probably right. The defender left the room and walked across the hall to Syd and Moe’s room; the door was open and she looked in on the forward who was talking on the phone, the conversation seemed to be nearing the end but JJ caught the words she did. “I don’t know mom; I thought it was a good idea at the time but after they found out ; they all looked so sad and it made me realize I want to graduate with them, I want to spend my senior year with them. Sometimes I don’t know what I’d do without them.” Syd turned her head and smiled at Julie before finishing up her call. “So, you don’t know what you’d do without us?” Julie asked, a hint of a smirk waiting to appear. “Shut up JJ,” Syd laughed feeling a weight lifted off her shoulder. “You know we weren’t going to stop you if you wanted to do it?” Julie asked, her tone turning serious again. “No, no I know that. I think I just wanted a reason not to go through with it and it turns out you three are.” Syd rolled her eyes; trying to act like she didn’t care but Julie saw through it, anyone could see through it. “Wait until I tell people the self-confessed Ice Queen has a heart after all.” JJ laughed bumping Syd’s shoulder, “Don’t be ruining my reputation now JJ.” Syd laughed, “Come on; let’s go and cheer the two Morgan’s up.”

 

After Morgan asking six or seven questions to make sure that Syd actually meant it when she said graduating early was out of the question; Morgan was satisfied and ready to leave, JJ called an Uber and whilst they were waiting the girls were sitting around the counter in the kitchen. Alex pulled the bottle of vodka towards her. “Blackcurrant? What happened to the raspberry one?” Alex asked looking down at the label. “They didn’t have it and this was the best of the ones they did have.” Julie explained, “The vanilla one was the worst; just looking at it made me want to throw up.”

 

“Vanilla vodka? That would be a new candle scent…” Syd thought aloud as Julie rather clumsily poured out four shots of the blackcurrant vodka before distributing them amongst her friends. “I suppose we should raise them to Cheney’s birthday.”

 

“Even though she’s not here?”

 

“Not important.” Julie waved away Morgan unenthusiastically before glasses were raised and a chorus of ‘happy birthday Cheney!’ Was sung out and the shot was downed with disgusted faces coming from it. “That’s awful, never buy it again.” Syd coughed pushing the shot glass as far away from her as she could. “It is really bad; there are some flavors you just don’t put into vodka.” Alex agreed, still feeling the distasteful effects of the shot burning the back of her throat. “Moe picked it out.” JJ nodded towards the midfielder who was staring at the label on the bottle. “Hey I just wanted flavored vodka; I didn’t know it would taste like shit.”

 

“Let’s move; the car’s outside.” JJ stood up whilst looking at her phone. The girls filed out of the apartment; Morgan yelling shotgun causing Alex and Syd to roll their eyes. The ride to Cheney’s house took twenty-five minutes; they decided to live further off campus and their house was probably the best house on the team. A two storey townhouse located near the city; the red brickwork enunciated the historic look the house; it was beautiful, full of character which according to Syd was the exact type of house that Cheney would move into. Walking into the open house, the music blaring and hearing Emily yell something pointless was exactly what they expected to walk into when they arrived. Alex is the first to find Cheney and hugs the birthday girl tightly. “Happy Birthday Cheney,” Alex grins. “Thank you,” Cheney smiles hugging her back. Cheney is tackled in a hug by Syd and Julie and Alex takes that as her cue to walk through the house until she finds Christen sitting alone on the couch, swishing her drink around her cup. “Hey Press where’s Tobin? Trouble in paradise already?” Alex teases but when Christen’s expression doesn’t change she falls serious, “Wait seriously?”

 

“There can’t be trouble in paradise when there’s no paradise Alex.” Christen deadpanned, sipping her drink. “Talk to me Press; what’s up?” Alex sat down on the couch beside Christen who sighed before turning to face her striker partner. “Every time I tell Tobin we need to talk she backs off; we need to decide what we’re doing.”

 

“I thought you already decided? Isn’t that what you were supposed to be talking about..?” Alex furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “It was. We didn’t exactly talk then and we still haven’t.” Christen explained, “Where is she? Is she mad at you?”

 

“No; Allie pulled her outside to play a drinking game.” Alex nodded, “You know you need to talk to her tonight, right?”

 

“I know; but it’s getting her alone and forcing her to talk about her feelings for once. It’s not exactly her favorite thing in the world.”

 

“It’ll have to become her favorite thing,” Alex smirked. “What are you plotting?” Christen asked warily, nervously tightening her grip on her drink. Alex shrugged and smiled at Christen, “I’m not planning anything.” Alex reassured her by lying through her teeth. “I’m going to get a drink; I’ll talk to you later if you promise not to be sad and sit alone all night.” Alex stood in front of Christen as the raven haired girl finished her drink. “I won’t, I’ll go and be a social butterfly.” Christen gave Alex a toothy smile as she stood up and walked into the kitchen. Alex walked through the kitchen and outside into the backyard, motioning for Tobin. “We need to talk.” She mouthed to the midfielder who nodded and stood up; Alex walked back into the house with Tobin following and walked into the downstairs bathroom with Tobin now cautiously following. Alex closed and locked the door before leaning against it, “Why have you locked us in the bathroom?” Tobin asked, shoving her hands in her pockets as she stood in the middle of the room. “Because I’m not cliché enough to have this conversation in a closet; but that’s not important.”

 

“What is important?” Tobin asked choosing to now lean against the wall, the entire distance of the room between them. “Why won’t you talk to Press about what you two are?”

 

“Did she send you to give me an intervention?” Tobin asked, her tone was bitter, “No she didn’t; but come on Tobs, she has a point.” Alex started to reason with her friend, “I know she does; I just hate talking about it.”

 

“What’s so bad about it? All you’re going to do is talk about you two, you do realize all Christen wants is for the two of you to actually admit you’re dating; she doesn’t want you to tell her every single thing you’ve bottled up during the years.” Tobin lifted her head, “You’re sure?”

 

“I’m pretty sure Tobin; trust me, it’s nothing to worry about.” Alex reassured her again, “I suppose I can go and talk to her.”

 

“That’s the spirit; try and look happier when you find her though.” Alex laughed pinching Tobin’s cheeks as she unlocked the bathroom door and opened it. “What’ve you two been up to?” Emily narrowed her eyes as she glanced between them. “Get your mind out of the gutter Sonnett.” Tobin laughed ruffling the defender’s hair. Tobin moved past the pair and into the kitchen before carefully cutting off Christen and Amy’s conversation. “Can we talk?” Tobin asked letting her head fall on Christen’s shoulder. Amy smiled and left the two alone, “What do you want Tobs?”

 

“Let’s talk, about what we should’ve talked about a week ago.”

 

Christen raised her eyebrows, “What’s with the sudden change of heart?” Christen asked, “That’s not important.” Tobin dismissed as she took Christen’s hand and led her outside where the previous group had dispersed and gone their separate ways. Tobin sat on the floor with Christen sitting beside her, knees pulled up to her chest as she waited out to see who would speak up first. “I know I’ve been avoiding this and I’m sorry for that.” Tobin spoke up first, slowly and quietly. “I know you hate getting over-emotional but seriously, I only wanted to talk about what we are because as much as I love being able to kiss you, I want to hold your stupid hand and take you on dates.”

 

“My hand isn’t stupid.” Tobin grinned goofily at the forward causing Christen to roll her eyes. “You’re ridiculous; so what about it?”

 

“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” Tobin asked turning to look at Christen and batting her eyelashes, “I might be.”

 

“If you are I will accept when you ask me properly.” Tobin chirped, “Stop being so difficult.”

 

“You best not be this mean to me when we’re dating.”

 

“We’re not dating yet!” Christen exclaimed before starting to laugh when she caught onto how stupid this conversation actually was; “Tobin will you just be my damn girlfriend?” Christen asked, frustration starting to seep into her voice. “That’s the nicest you’re going to be about it isn’t it?” Tobin laughed, “The answer is yes by the way.” Tobin added before leaning over and capturing Christen’s lips in her own. “Can we go and have fun now?” Tobin asked standing up and holding her hands out for Christen to take, “the last time you had fun you threw up in trashcan Tobs.” Christen reminded taking her girlfriend’s hands and standing up. The pair walked into the house and straight into Kelley who was holding a drink in her left hand as she scanned the surrounding area, “Looking for anybody in-particular Kell?” Tobin asked, grabbing a bottle of beer from the counter. “Have you seen Alex?” Kelley asked tugging her bottom lip between her teeth; Christen looked over Kelley’s shoulder. “She’s over there with JJ.” Christen turned Kelley around to find Alex and JJ sitting on the couch laughing, Kelley moved past her teammates as she let herself fall on Alex’s lap, Alex wrapping her arms around the defender as she continued listening to Julie’s story. “KELLEY I NEED YOU!” Emily stumbled into the living room, spilling half of her drink in the process. “Cheney’s gonna kill you for spilling that.” JJ rolled her eyes, “I don’t care; I need Kelley – because – Moe wants to play beer pong but Moe sucks and Kelley’s the best.”

 

“Ask Tobin,” Kelley replied letting her head fall on Alex’s shoulder. “Tobin’s a little busy,” Emily giggled turning and pointing at Tobin and Christen not so subtly making out in the kitchen. “Come on Kell; it’ll be fun.” Alex rubbed Kelley’s back, “Are you going to watch?” Kelley asked. “I wouldn’t miss it, come on.” Kelley stood up and huffed out to Emily that she owed her big time; Emily was already downing another drink and yelling ‘Mewy’ at the top of her voice. “Let’s go and show them who the best is superstar,” Alex whispered in Kelley’s ear as they followed the shouting and Morgan yelling ‘cheat’ at the top of her voice every other second. Kelley was pulled into Moe’s arms the second she came into sight before Meghan could grab her for her team. “Kelley’s mine, we’re both from Georgia that means we should be on the same team.”

 

“We’re in California Moe; it doesn’t count.” Meghan huffed but mostly from annoyance out of having to face off against Kelley instead of play alongside her. Emily placed a snapback on Kelley’s head backwards, laughing loudly as she stumbled backwards into Alex’s side. “What’s with the hat?” Kelley asked taking it off before placing it back on properly. “You look like such a frat boy.” Alex commented causing Kelley to smirk and walk over to her, “frat boy huh? Do you like frat boys?”

 

“I like girls.” Alex deadpanned knocking the hat, “But you looking like one is another matter,” Alex whispered against Kelley’s alcohol stained lips. “Go get ‘em champ.” Alex told her, and Kelley stumbled backwards still feeling her heart rate increasing at an alarming rate. “H-Hold my phone.” Kelley shoved her phone into Alex’s hand before pulling Emily to the table to start the game, thinking throwing herself in the game would ease the feeling of wanting to kiss Alex. Meghan started the game; missing the first cup by so far the ball hit Morgan, “Kling you suck so badly.” Allie laughed pushing her out of the way, Emily sank her first shot causing Meghan to groan as Allie handed her the cup of beer to drink. “You’re the worst Sonnett.” Meghan deadpanned chucking the cup aside. “At least I can sink a ping pong ball.” Emily grinned much to the defender’s annoyance. The game continued on with Moe, Emily and Kelley absolutely destroying Meghan, Allie and Ashlyn. Ali and Alex were standing off to the side pointing out small things, before laughing at the lame, drunken attempts – seriously, how Moe managed to get a ball lodged up in the ceiling is still bringing confusion to everyone. Ali and Alex made a bet on whether Ashlyn or Kelley would make the last shot first; they were the best players on either team and it was all coming down to this. “Do you ever think they take a drinking game too seriously?” Ali whispered leaning back against the wall, “What can we say Kriegs; they’re a competitive bunch.”

 

“You’re going down O’Hara.” Ashlyn smirked, a confident glint in her eye as she threw the ball up and down. “Yeah; so is Ali if Ash makes this.” Emily whispered to Moe before both girls started laughing, Morgan spilling her drink slightly. Kelley was just about to take the first shot when her phone started ringing in Alex’s hand; the forward looked down and saw her dad’s name gracing the screen. “Kell, your phone!” Alex shouted over the music. Kelley turned to look at her, “Who is it? I’m kinda busy here.”

 

“Your dad.” Alex replied and in that second she watched as Kelley’s face drained of color as the defender just stared at Alex not moving, “There’s a three hour time difference between here and Georgia; it’s like 3 AM over there. Why’s he calling?”

 

“Reject it; I’m busy.” The words came out harsher than Kelley probably intended. “Kell, it’s your dad. Just answer it, it could be important.” Alex held the phone out to Kelley who huffed and threw the ball down hard, “I forfeit.” She muttered as she snatched her phone from Alex’s grip and walked out of the room. Alex’s eyes following her all the way, “that was weird right?” Ali asked, wondering how a phone call could change her mood so quickly. “I think I should go and wait for her, something might be up.” Alex placed her drink down and walked out of the room scanning the area for the defender, and seeing the back of her head through the kitchen window. Alex cautiously walked out and stood by the door leading to the garden as Kelley paced with a scowl on her face as every time she tried to say something she seemed to be getting cut off on the other line. She pulled her phone away from her ear and sighed looking up to see Alex in front of her. “I told you to reject it.”

 

“I didn’t know, I just – if my dad called I’d want to answer it.”

 

“Your dad probably doesn’t diminish everything you do.” Kelley retorted as she walked to go back inside but Alex was quick to stop her. “Kell, what’s wrong?”

 

Kelley sighed, realizing she had no reason to be mad at Alex. “It’s nothing; just unresolved issues from before college started.”

 

“Are you sure? Kell, you don’t look ok.”

 

“Not the worst compliment you’ve given me.” The sarcastic twinge in Kelley’s voice was still there as Alex sighed, “Want to skip this? There’s a park not far away.” Kelley asked her tone softening up a little as she held out her hand; Alex shrugged and took hold of her hand as they walked through the house to the front door. “Where are you two going?” Becky asked, eyeing them suspiciously. “Off to witness a brutal murder Cap, we’ll keep you informed.” Kelley retaliated, winking at her defensive partner. Becky rolled her eyes, “don’t get lost or run over. We need you for Arizona.”

 

“I’m offended; we’re just soccer players to you aren’t we?” Kelley wiped a fake tear from her cheek. Becky just smiled and rolled her eyes again. Kelley pulled Alex out of the house; since night had fallen completely, the weather had changed and it was becoming chillier out; more expected as they head into October. The pair fell into a comfortable silence as a slightly disorientated Kelley stopped a few times to remember which way she was supposed to be going, neither of them were particularly drunk, they haven’t been since Taylor’s party; they find each other a lot more fun when they’re sober anyway. Kelley finally led Alex into the park and over to a bench hidden amongst some trees. Alex sat down pulling Kelley with her, the forward turning and crossing her legs as she looked over at Kelley who was looking up towards the sky. “So, it’s bad right?”

 

“What’s bad?” Kelley asked bringing her eyes down and looking over at Alex. “What happened during the summer?” Alex continued, “You don’t have to tell me, but if you did-”

 

“I’ll tell you one day.” Kelley cut her off, her facial expression faltering slightly. Usually Alex would reply with something sarcastic about Kelley always promising to tell her stories one day but there was something about this one that had an ill-feeling filling her stomach; Alex knew she wasn’t going to over-think what could’ve happened but she also couldn’t help but feel horrible about Kelley feeling hurt over something she couldn’t help with. “I’ll be waiting to listen,” Alex replied softly her hand reaching out to take hold of Kelley’s, their fingers automatically intertwining. “You forfeited to Ash; you know she’s never letting you live that down?”

 

“I’ve beaten her enough; I can let her have this one. She can celebrate with Ali.” Kelley wiggled her eyebrows causing Alex to start laughing as she blushed madly. Alex’s phone vibrated from her back pocket, she reached and pulled it out looking at the number at the top of the screen, and smiling instantly. Kelley noticed the change in mood. “Someone special?” Kelley asked trying to look over at who it was. “It’s just Hope, she was my best friend at Cal. I can’t wait until we play them so I can see her again.”

 

“Yeah and see-”

 

“I know.” Alex interjected, “Who knows, she might fake an injury to get out of it.”

 

“Does that happen a lot at Cal? I mean, I know they’re shit and all.” Kelley smirked, “It did actually; there was this one girl who graduated last year but she pulled out of the game against UCLA with a ‘hamstring’ injury just days before because she didn’t want to play against her ex girlfriend.”

 

“Don’t be thinking about pulling that on us Alex, we’ll need you.” Kelley noted, “You have Amy and Christen and Syd; they could cope without me, you know if I got injured in general.”

 

“Alex, seriously?” Kelley raised her eyebrows at the forward. “I know,” Alex sighed, “I’m working on it ok?”

 

“I know it’s hard to get out of the negative spiral that you’re on at times but seriously, you’re better than you think you are and we know it, and not just with soccer; you’re intelligent, beautiful, kind, funny and-” Kelley stopped talking when she caught sight of Alex blushing like an idiot in front of her, “You’re the most important person in my life.”

 

Alex’s eyes flicked down to Kelley’s lips and the defender had the exact same idea that she had, leaning over Kelley hesitated when her lips were inches from Alex’s, Alex gazed into Kelley’s eyes as she brought her hand up to tuck a few loose strands of her hair behind her ear. “Kiss me Kell,” Alex whispered against her lips and Kelley was more than happy to oblige until a shout came from nearby.

 

“EW DAN, THEY’RE GONNA KISS.”

 

Kelley instantly moved back as Alex dropped her head onto Kelley’s shoulder; the defender watching as two boys around eleven or twelve quickly ran off towards the entrance to the park. Kelley sighed, that was the chance. “So uh, I guess-”

 

“Yeah; it was probably a bad idea.” Alex cut her off, they wouldn’t be the words Kelley would use but she agreed nonetheless not wanting to add to any present awkward tension. “We should probably go back, JJ will be wondering where I’ve gone.”

 

“Yeah,” Kelley breathed out, “Maybe we should.” Alex and Kelley stood up, choosing not to hold hands or even speak as they headed back towards Cheney’s, those damn kids.

 

Walking back into the house; Kelley rushed to find Christen whilst Alex rushed to find Julie – both needing to tell their ‘person’ what nearly just happened. Kelley was the first to find Christen and ran over pulling on the striker’s arm practically ending her conversation with Ali. “Chris something just happened or nearly. I need you.” Ali took that as her cue to leave with Christen giving Kelley her full attention, “What are you talking about?”

 

“I nearly kissed Alex.” Kelley rushed out, dragging a hand through her hair as the words sunk into Christen’s head. “You did what?”

 

“I didn’t, I nearly did.”

 

“Why didn’t you?” Christen asked, letting her hand fall on Kelley’s shoulder to try and calm the shakiness in her best friend. “Two kids saw us and called us out. I wanted to kiss her Chris, like so fucking badly.”

 

“Ok; what did Alex say?” Christen asks and watches as Kelley’s face falls. “She said it was probably a bad idea; like great, I think I have feelings for her and she says it’s a bad fucking idea.”

 

“Whoa, you like her?” Christen asks, a hint of a smile on her face. “Tobin owes me money – wait that’s not important. Where’s Alex now?”

 

“I don’t know, JJ I think? Christen, what do I do?” Kelley asks, seconds away from starting to beg. “Calm down for one. Kelley, you’re drunk.”

 

“I’m not, well, not that much – I only really drank beer.” Kelley insisted but Christen wasn’t buying it. “Kell; you need to sleep on this, for all you know the notion of nearly kissing Alex might be clouding your judgment.”

 

“My head was pretty clear when I was seconds away from kissing her Press.” Kelley huffed folding her arms. “I’m looking out for you Kell; trust me.” Christen’s voice was soft as she brought Kelley into a hug.

 

Alex didn’t have to go looking for Julie when she reached the house because JJ was already heading towards her; “We need to talk.” Alex grabbed JJ’s arm and pulled her through the house until they were outside and Alex was sat on the floor leaning against the wall. “What happened?” Julie asked cautiously as she sat beside Alex. “I nearly did something stupid Jules.”

 

“It can’t be worse than anything Sonnett’s done tonight.” Julie quipped bringing a small smile to Alex’s face. “What’s up?” Alex’s head fell on Julie’s shoulder. “I nearly kissed Kelley, I mean, I told her to kiss me.”

 

“Honestly Alex; that kind of thing has been coming since you and Kelley met.” Julie mused, Alex lifted her head. “Come on Alex; it’s no secret that the two of you aside from Ali and Ash and Tobs and Chris are the two closest people on the team. Everyone just assumed you two would eventually realize you liked each other.”

 

“I don’t like her.” Alex replied causing Julie to tilt her head to the side, “Ok maybe I do, I don’t know. I forgot what it was like to have a crush on someone, who knows what this is.”

 

“Listen; you don’t have to label whatever it is you feel for Kelley, that’s not important right now. You said you told Kelley to kiss you, what happened?”

 

“Two kids called us out, and then I told her it was probably a bad idea but seconds before I wanted her to kiss me; I’m such an idiot.”

 

“No, no you’re not an idiot.” Julie reassured her, letting her hand rest on Alex’s knee. “You’re confused Alex, you’ve had a few drinks and you don’t know what you feel for her; its ok.”

 

“What if things become awkward between us?” Alex asked, biting down on her bottom lip. “Trust me Alex; you know how close Sam and Emily are right?” Alex nodded, “I’ll tell you the story later of what happened between them last year and you’ll realize that if the two of them can stay as close as they are; nearly kissing Kelley is absolutely nothing.” Alex raised her eyebrows as she heard Emily shout drunkenly from inside. “Seriously Alex; you have nothing to worry about, just talk to her or sleep on it and talk to her tomorrow, things are going to be fine.”

 

“Guys come on; Allie and Syd are making Cheney do shots because ‘the birthday girl has to be the sloppiest’.” Tobin ran out to inform them; Julie and Alex quickly stood up and followed. Julie stood by Christen and a hand pulled Alex to her to get a better view in front of Sam. Looking over, Kelley smiled at her and took hold of her hand as she turned her attention back to Cheney, Alex could feel Julie’s eyes on her and as she looked behind her she saw JJ mouth ‘I told you.’ She was right, of course she was. “Guys; this isn’t fair, you’re going to kill me.”

 

“Oh Chen, you really don’t have fun do you?” Syd laughed holding out the first shot to the midfielder, “drink it; it’s not gonna poison ‘ya.”

 

Chants of ‘drink’ started to echo around the kitchen as Cheney continued to resist the shot that Syd was seconds away from forcing down her. “Fine, if it’ll shut you up.” Cheney grumbled taking the shot from Syd and downing it before moving down the line and taking them on all on within forty seconds. She stood up and stumbled backwards springing Allie into action to keep her standing. “That was awful.”

 

“Yes but we’re so proud of you Chen!” Syd hugged her tightly, “Ok, now make me a normal drink.”

 

“Want to go and talk?” Kelley asked rubbing her thumb over Alex’s knuckles, “yeah sure,” Alex replied trying to ignore the nervous feeling bubbling in her chest as Kelley turned and grabbed two beers from the cooler and taking Alex outside; the weather beginning to warm up again as the clock hit 12:30 AM, or maybe it was later, no one was sure anymore. Kelley handed Alex one of the beers and twisted the top off hers. They sat in silence, neither one of them wanting to break it and bring up anything, not one thing that’s happened tonight. “You talked to Christen…”

 

“You talked to JJ and I know we talked about the same thing.” Kelley’s tone was proving difficult for Alex to figure out how Kelley felt about the whole thing. “I didn’t mean it; it wasn’t a bad idea, I just panicked.”

 

“You seemed pretty confident in your words.” Kelley retaliated taking a swig of the beer. “I wasn’t; Kelley seriously, I asked you to kiss me; of course I didn’t mean it.”

 

“Then what the fuck is it?” Kelley asked and now Alex knew how she was feeling, if it wasn’t frustration, she’d kick herself. “I don’t know,” Alex lied “Kell; just don’t be mad at me whilst I try and figure it out ok?”

 

“I’m not mad, I’m just – I really wanted to kiss you.” Kelley admitted, laughing bitterly at the end. “I wanted to kiss you too…” Alex admitted, surprised that she did. “But you and I both know it’s not going to help.”

 

“I know,” Kelley let her head fall against Alex’s shoulder. It wasn’t the talk either of them needed right now, but it went some way to comforting them as they tried to figure out what was going on.

 

~

 

4:30 AM and after Meghan spending fifteen minutes begging Becky not to tell Paul what happened, Morgan and Sam took Emily to the emergency room silently hoping that her fall just bruised her ego and not sprained her ankle like Emily cries out that she had. Emily Sonnett should not be allowed to make decisions that could in any way harm her, such as dancing on the counter where alcohol has been spilt the entire night. The rest of the team started to file out of the house and head home, all sleepily hugging Cheney and asking if her last ever birthday with all the Stanford girls had been one to remember, and a clearly drunk and teary-eyed Cheney nodded and in a choked up voice told her friends that it was her best yet. Amy and Tobin stuck around, choosing to comfort their emotionally drunk best friend, and possibly try to wriggle any good blackmail material out of the ordeal. Syd was asleep on the couch, and despite JJ and Alex trying to pull her from her crashed state, they knew it wasn’t going to happen. Allie told them she’d get to wake up and take her back to her house for the night, telling her it’d be for the best with the amount that the striker had drank. Julie and Alex, who were coming down and sobering up a lot quicker than their teammates didn’t even argue, too tired and just wanting their beds; Christen chose to leave Tobin with Cheney and ARod and found Alyssa who was also pretty drunk, after spending the night sitting with Ashlyn and drinking and talking about whatever came to mind; Alex offered to drive them back to their apartment feeling the most sober and more awake out of her and Julie. Christen latched onto Alex as she walked over to Christen’s car, taking the keys from her and unlocking it before getting in, she kept the door open as she waited for Kelley, Alex sat sideways, her legs dangling out of the car as Kelley walked out, her phone pressed to her ear. By the time Kelley reached the car, the call had ended and she told them what was happening with Emily, apparently the blonde klutz had just bruised her ankle and her ego after all. Kelley got into the car and Alex took that as her cue to shut her door and start the car before heading to Christen’s apartment first because it was easier. After twenty minutes of driving, and Julie freaking out when Alex ‘nearly’ ran two red lights they’d arrived in one piece at the apartment. Alex and Julie climbed out before handing the keys to Christen; Kelley wrapped her arms around Alex and nuzzled her head into the crook of the forward’s neck. “You ok?” Alex asked letting her head fall against Kelley’s. “I’m just gonna miss you.”

 

“You’ll see me tomorrow, and I literally live five minutes away.”

 

“I’ll still miss you.” Kelley mumbled feeling her eyes drop. “Go to sleep Kell; I’ll come and see you tomorrow ok?”

 

“Ok, love ‘ya.”

 

“Love you too.” Alex dropped a gentle kiss onto her forehead before Christen pulled her towards the building where Alyssa was sleepily holding the door open. Julie linked her arm with Alex as they headed down the street to their apartment. “I saw what you did.”

 

“What do you mean?” Alex asked looking at Julie and furrowing her eyebrows at the knowing look. “Kell said love ‘ya but you said love you; you mightn’t think it but it means something.”

 

“It doesn’t, you’re making it up.” Alex argued but the light blush covering on her cheeks was not from the chill of the early morning. “You’re the worst.” Alex grumbled but Julie was laughing and wrapping her arms around Alex in a hug. “You know I’m right Alex.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, my girls winning 6-2, i love stanning a team of winners (remember i said this when we lose to orlando)
> 
> anyway, hmu on my tumblr; redstarspress


	11. Stanford To World Cup Champions

Alex wakes up that next morning, groaning at the light seeping through the blinds as she screws her eyes shut to see if she can grab five more minutes but once she knows she’s awake for the day, she allows herself to properly begin to wake up and the smell of burning is what has her sitting up, eyes fixated on the closed bedroom door. Julie’s still sound asleep in the bed across the room, loose pieces of hair having fallen out of her bun during the night flying in all directions,

 

“Jules; Jules wake up.” Alex tries to keep her voice at a low level not wanting to talk too loudly this early in the morning. “JJ,” Alex says again, louder this time but yet the blonde continues to sleep through it. Alex pushes the comforter off her and climbs out of bed before softly padding over to the other bed and tapping Julie’s shoulder three times as she finally starts to stir,

 

“Morning,” She mumbles sleepily when she cracks open one of her eyes.

 

“Morning,” Alex repeats, “Can you smell burning?” Alex asks becoming increasingly concerned that it’s just her.

 

Julie sits up and rubs her hands over her face as she scrunches up her nose,

 

“Actually yeah; let’s go and check it out.” Julie answers, still feeling her eyes drop as she pushes herself out of bed and trudges down the hall down following Alex into the kitchen where they turn to find Morgan sitting at the counter eating a piece of toast.

 

The distinct stench of burning becoming clearer and almost bad enough to bring tears to the other two’s eyes.

 

“Moe, what’s happened in here?” Julie asked walking around to pour some coffee when she noticed a plate full of completely burnt toast, to the point where you could probably start a fire on it.

 

“I tried to make toast.” The midfielder answered tiredly,

 

“That’s what I meant; how do you burn toast this badly?” Julie questioned picking up one of the slices and testing it by dropping it on the counter, the resounding crack echoed around the kitchen as the toast broke in two. “You do know that breads costs actual money, stop wasting it all.” Julie added, Morgan shrugged,

 

“What are you doing home anyway? I thought you were going to stay with Emily.” Alex wondered as she poured the two cups of coffee for her and Julie.

 

“I was, but she’s so needy – you’d think she’d broken a leg or something, not bruised her ankle.” Morgan grumbles as she bites down on the toast.

 

“So, you left Sam to take care of her all night?” Julie asks accepting the cup of coffee from Alex,

 

“Uh huh; Em didn’t even notice, she was high on pain meds and fell asleep not long before I left. What did I miss last night?” Morgan asked finishing the toast and pushing her plate away.

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Alex could see Julie smirking in her direction and as much as the forward wanted to beg her not to tell her, she knew she was going to do and just tried to subtly nod as Julie burst into the story of everything Alex told her last night; Alex sat rolling her eyes at the over-exaggerated parts of the story,

 

“So you’re telling me you didn’t kiss Kelley because of two twelve year old boys? Alex, half of our teammates have made out with each other in front of coaching staff-” Morgan stopped abruptly, “Did you tell her about Emily and Sam?”

 

“I mentioned it, never told her the story.” Julie dismisses as she sips the coffee.

 

“It’s probably best; we don’t want to scar our little striker for life.” Morgan reached forward and pinched Alex’s cheek before Alex swatted her hand away.

 

The three turned to their attention to what their plans were for the day, with it being Saturday, the focus shifted to an unusual but welcomed weekend off aside from training, with preparations for the week going to be directed to the two games away in Arizona at the end of the week.

 

“How does it feel going home for the weekend, your parents are going to come out to watch right?”

 

“Yeah, of course; my sister said if she’s off work she will try and make it; I’m so excited to see them again.” The excitement in Julie’s voice was evident,

 

Morgan interjects, “I don’t like Arizona.”

 

“I don’t like you.” Julie chimed, her tone becoming more defensive. “You make fun of Georgia all the time!” Morgan exclaimed, “How is this any different?”

 

“I like my state.” Julie answered smiling over at Morgan. “I’ve never once said I like Georgia.” The look of offence on Morgan’s face brought laughter from the other two girls.

 

After half an hour of talking; the girls went their separate ways; Julie rushing to her room after remembering she had an assignment due on Monday and she was ‘like 60% done’ – Morgan and Alex didn’t believe her for a second, Morgan was the second to leave after she started to feel guilty about leaving Sam with a whiny Emily the night before and as promised; Alex headed off to find Kelley. Still brought down with sleep; Alex walked up the stairs to the apartment, pushing open the door, Alex waved to Alyssa who was sitting on the couch whilst on her laptop.

 

“She’s still asleep,” Was all the keeper said before her eyes focused back on the screen in front of her. Alex nodded and headed down the hall to Kelley’s room, she swung open the door and rolled her eyes at the defender wrapped up in blankets as she cuddled a stuffed dolphin, Alex has been in here plenty of times and she’s never once seen the toy. Alex carefully made her way into the room, careful not to wake the freckled girl up as she picked her phone up and made sure it wasn’t on silent and the sound was turned up all the way before she lodged her phone between the stuffed toy and Kelley’s ear. She moved back and pulled her own phone out of her pocket before calling her, the sound resonating through the room as Kelley jerked upright, her eyes landing on Alex as she glared through tired eyes.

 

“You’re not funny.” She muttered throwing the dolphin at the forward who caught it with ease. “I’m funny, you’re just too grumpy to see it.”

 

“You woke me up.” Kelley deadpanned causing Alex to shrug, “You should’ve been awake, and it’s like 10 AM anyway.”

 

“On a Saturday; it’s too early to be awake.” Kelley murmured lying back down and pulling the covers over her head.

 

“You called me at 6 AM last Sunday; don’t act like this is all on me,” Alex smirked making her way over to the bed and pulling the covers back to reveal a pissed off Kelley who tried to pull the covers but Alex’s grip on them were far too strong. “If you get out of bed I’ll buy you breakfast.” Alex tempted and she could only stand and watch as Kelley seriously considered the offer before she nodded,

 

“I can do that. Let me get dressed real quick.” Alex and Kelley swapped places with the forward lying on her bed as Kelley grabbed some clothes out of her closet, before running across the hall to the bathroom. Alex looked closely at the dolphin toy, she can tell Kelley’s had him for a while; it’s the subtle things such as the small rips in the toy, or the dark wash look to it, like Kelley’s spilt so many different liquids on it over the years; it was pretty cute even Alex had to admit it, but Alex will forever insist her teddy bear is still a better sleeping companion. Kelley slid back into the room, almost slipping on the wooden floor as she reached for her shoes.

 

“Kell; how long have you had this?” Alex asked holding up the toy, Kelley glanced up and smiled, “Since I was a kid, not sure; Erin bought it for me and I can’t really remember a time without it.”

 

“It’s cute,” Alex commented turning and placing the toy carefully on her pillow as she clambers off the bed. “You got ready quickly?” Alex acknowledged as she pulled Kelley’s covers up, smoothing out the turquoise floral bed sheet and comforter.

 

“You said you’d buy me food; of course I was quick.” Kelley grinned as she tied her laces. “Thanks for making my bed. Your need for everything to be tidy is really useful at times; I hope we live together one day-” Alex’s mind goes blank after she hears Kelley talking about wanting to live together, she’s so out of it she doesn’t hear the last of Kelley’s words. “Huh?”

 

“I said; I hope we live together one day; I’ll never have to tidy up again.” Kelley repeated, her eyebrows creasing as Alex bites down on her bottom lip,

 

“Oh yeah sure. I’ll just be your personal maid.” Alex quips turning to face Kelley who shrugs,

 

“I wouldn’t mind that; let’s go, I’m hungry.” Kelley reaches before her phone before taking Alex’s hand in her own and pulls the forward out of the room yelling bye over her shoulder to Alyssa and makes the keeper promise to have the majority of her assignment done by the time she gets back. “You’ll be lucky if I’ve done 30% by the time you get back.” Alyssa grumbles, pen behind her ear as she tries to focus on the problem on her screen. Kelley pulls Alex down the stairwell, “Stop making me run. I’m still going to get you food,”

 

“I’m hungry though.” Kelley whined stopping momentarily to turn around and tilt her head to the side as Alex rolls her eyes, “Kell, I’ve told you. I have two sisters, that doesn’t work.”

 

“You keep telling yourself that.” Kelley sniggered as she continued to pull Alex down the stairs and outside to her car, she dug around her pockets confused for a minute as she tried to look for her car keys, until she pulled them out of her back pocket, she unlocked her car and got in, “If you put those glasses on so help me god.” Alex warned stopping Kelley from reaching for the sunglasses; Kelley just laughed as she pulled her seatbelt on. “Don’t be a downer because you’re not cool.”

 

“I’m cool,” Alex protested to which Kelley rolled her eyes, “I’m cooler than Moe.” Alex shrugged, “Everyone’s cooler than Moe; that’s not a good thing.” Kelley grinned as she started the car and pulled out. Alex rolled her eyes as she allowed herself to settle back into the cool leather of the seats; Alex turned the radio on and rolled her eyes when Whitney Houston started playing; she should’ve guessed. “Don’t roll your eyes Morgan; you know better.” Kelley glanced over to her, before allowing her eyes to fall forward again as she continued to drive. Alex had no idea where they were going, in a sense she didn’t care because as long as she’s with Kelley she knows two things;

 

One; it’ll be an adventure.

 

Two; they’ll find their way eventually.

 

Let’s throw in a third; Kelley could drive down a never-ending road but as long as they’re together, Alex doesn’t care where they end up.

 

Kelley was busy, eccentrically mouthing the words to ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’ as she stopped at a red light, her hands falling from the steering wheel for a brief moment as she turned and took hold of Alex’s hand before yelling at the top of her lungs. “WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME.” Alex whipped her phone out and started to record Kelley as she resumed mouthing the lyrics and driving; the video was shaky but that was due to her laughter as she tried to maintain a neutral expression but the more time she spends with Kelley; Alex finds herself doubling over with laughter more than half the time and that is never a bad thing. After the song ends, the video stops and Alex’s phone is in her lap. Kelley turns and parks her car as Alex looks out the window, eyes widening at the restaurant that sits alone,

 

“It looks kinda sketchy Kell.” Alex comments warily taking in the dull outer appearance of the restaurant, who paints a building black anyway? Alex looked closely, either they were hipsters and had low lighting or Alex was going to maneuver a pitch black restaurant whilst fearing for her life that somebody was going to jump out with a knife. Alex was sitting so deep in frozen fear that she hadn’t noticed Kelley had gotten out of the car, opened her door and was standing in front with her arms folded and an amused expression on her face as she waited for Alex to break out of her concentrated state. Once Alex did notice, she took her seatbelt off and got out of the car, “Why do you always find the weirdest places?” Alex asks as she shuts the door, taking Kelley’s outstretched hand as she locks her car.

 

“This place isn’t weird.” Kelley forces, Alex isn’t convinced and finds herself dragging her feet across the ground as Kelley pulls her towards the restaurant. “If you don’t start walking properly, I will carry you in there.”

 

“How is that a bad thing?” Alex asks,

 

“Because; you’ll live with the fear that I will drop you at some point.” Kelley smirks,

 

“Now you’re scaring me more than this place.” Alex deadpans, glaring at the back of the defender’s head.

 

“That was the whole point, come on.” Kelley runs ahead leaving Alex with no choice but to run with her as they reach the door. Kelley pushes it open and forces Alex to walk in first, the forward visibly relaxing at the low lighting, noting in fact it was actually nicely decorated and not where college soccer players come to die. Kelley pulls Alex to a booth at the back of the restaurant, sliding in one side; Alex sits opposite but finds herself shuffling along until she’s all but sat beside Kelley. A blonde waitress appears at the table, a disinterested expression on her face as she clutches a notepad in her left hand; although she soon brightens up when she sees Kelley in the person at the table, completely disregarding that Alex is beside her.

 

“Kelley!” She exclaims gleefully, leaning down to grip the defender’s bicep, “I haven’t seen you in so long. I’ve missed you.”

 

“Yeah,” Kelley chuckles softly, “It’s been a while,”

 

“You promised we’d hang out more, you know; return to our former deal.” The blonde teases, a sultry smirk on her face as she bats her eyelashes at Kelley, the defender making no effort to stop her. “You still have my number, right?” She asks, leaning down further, “call me sometime,” She winks before realizing she’d forgotten her pen and rushes back to her station to retrieve it.

 

Kelley just laughs before she turns to face Alex who is looking dead ahead, a scowl on her face with her fists clenched. “Al, hey, you ok?” Kelley asks, not receiving an answer and so the defender waves her hand in front of Alex’s face; that does cause the forward to turn to face Kelley. “I asked if you were ok. You’re not though, are you?” Kelley’s smile falters at the stony expression on Alex’s face.

 

“It doesn’t matter.” Alex mutters, “I’ll be back in a minute.” She adds, not that particularly cares as she stands up and heads towards the bathroom. It’s only as Alex leaves, Kelley finally realizes what’s pissed her off and as she closes her eyes and sighs; she wishes she’d stop letting Alex find out about the girls’ she’s hooked up with in the past. Alex stands in the bathroom, staring in the mirror as she begins to let her mind wander; she knows she’s in too deep, she’s always known it but with the anxiety still settled at the pit of her stomach, the confusion over what she feels for the defender and realizing that there’s another side to Kelley than the goofy defender she adores is all screwing with her mind at the moment and she has no clue how to stop it. Splashing some water on her face, Alex sighs and pulls her hair out of its ponytail, letting it fall over both shoulders; she pushes her hair tie onto her wrist and realizes she’s spent way too long in the bathroom, she leaves. Eyes falling on Kelley who’s sitting and playing with two straws, a disappointed and possibly regretful look on her face, and it causes Alex to feel more hurt than she should be as she lazily makes her way back over to the table and slides in. She pushes her ill-feeling down and gently touches Kelley’s arm, the defender jumping and looking up at Alex hopefully; she was convinced that they would spend the rest of the morning in silence.

 

“I was starting to think you’d run out on me.”

 

“I was debating it, but I figured I was hungry enough to stick around.” Alex smiles, eliciting a small, tight-lipped smile from Kelley. “Hey, cheer up Kell. It’s ok.” Alex slowly rubs her arm to try and prove to the defender that she wasn’t as mad on the outside as she was on the inside. Kelley nods, and it’s starting to make Alex uncomfortable, she’s so used to her making a sarcastic comment along the lines of Alex being jealous and she was beginning to miss it. Alex leans closer and presses her lips to Kelley’s cheek, letting her lips linger against her cheek for a lot longer than she usually would. “Please cheer up, I’m sorry I got pissed off.” Alex lies, she’s not sorry, but at this point to get them to revert back to their usual selves, Alex would probably do anything. Alex takes hold of Kelley’s hand, loosely intertwining their fingers and that simple action brings a genuine smile to the defender’s face as she looks at Alex.

 

“Love ‘ya Lex.”

 

“Love you,” Alex smiles back, rubbing her thumb over Kelley’s hand as a waiter approaches the table to take their order; Alex initially sending Kelley a look but the defender just nods and gives her order, Alex would be lying if she said she didn’t feel grateful for Kelley choosing to get another server for their table. Alex gives her order, before the waiter whose nametag says Sam smiles and tells them he’ll bring their drinks. “Thank you,” Alex sighs letting her head fall against Kelley’s shoulder.

 

“I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” Kelley responds quietly turning to leave a kiss on the top of Alex’s head. Alex squeezes Kelley’s hand, but doesn’t respond verbally. Sam brings their drinks and Alex instantly starts sipping at her juice, “I know the roommates for Arizona State by the way.” Kelley speaks up, taking a sip of her drink.

 

“Oh I hope JJ’s my roommate.” Alex smirks, “She’s my favorite.” Alex quips causing Kelley to roll her eyes, “She’s not; she’s Alyssa’s.”

 

“Is it Tobin? Or Christen? Oh, I’d love it to be Syd,”

 

“Tobin and Chris are together, Syd’s with Allie.”

 

“Morgan? Emily? Sam? Meghan?” Alex continued to rifle off their teammates’ names even though Alex already knew that Kelley only brought it up because she’s her roommate.

 

“It’s me you idiot.”

 

“I know; I just wanted to annoy you.” Alex grins poking Kelley’s cheek, “I’ll room with you on one condition.” Alex narrows her eyes as Kelley raises her eyebrows. “Shoot,”

 

“You do not wake me up at 2 AM to ask me to go on a walk with you.” Alex uttered, Kelley sighed deeply. “I suppose I can let you sleep, on one condition.”

 

“Go on…” Alex trailed off, “I get the bed by the window.”

 

“Deal.” Alex nodded holding out her hand, the two shook hands. They knew neither would keep to their conditions; if Kelley woke up at 2 AM and asked Alex to go for a walk with her, Alex knew she’d go. Kelley also knows if Alex gives her puppy dog eyes, she’ll give up the bed by the window in an instant. Their food arrived whilst they were in mid-argument over whether pancakes or waffles were better; Alex watches and waits for Kelley to reach for her glass when she leans over and swipes a piece of bacon from her plate and starts chewing on it. “Alex, what the hell?”

 

“You always eat my food! Also, you stole a piece of bacon from me at one of the team’s breakfasts.” Alex stated matter-of-factly. “That was like a month ago; I can’t believe you’re still hung up on that.”

 

“Kell, there’s something you should know about me; I don’t hold many grudges, or look for revenge – unless there’s food involved.”

 

“I realized,” Kelley grumbled trying hard to hide the smile on her face. The conversation faded as the two focused on eating; Alex was finishing the last bite of her pancake when she felt something hit her cheek, looking down she picked up the piece of pancake that Kelley had thrown at her. “You’re such a child.”

 

“You’re such a grandma.” Kelley retaliated causing an offended gasp to escape Alex’s lips. “You know if I wanted to be insulted and teased; I could’ve spent the day with Syd.”

 

“You like me more than Syd,” Kelley told her. “Not at the moment I don’t.” Alex replied. Alex paid for breakfast after promising she would, the blonde waitress appeared again for the first time since she was at their table; her eyes were obviously fixated on Kelley, Alex rolled her eyes but Kelley stood up and held her hand out for Alex to take, the forward wasted no time in slipping her hand into Kelley’s as the pair left the restaurant, feeling a pair of eyes on them the entire time. “She’s got it bad for you.” Alex commented as she got into the car. “Is it my fault if I’m probably the best she’s ever had?” Kelley smirked getting into the car herself.

 

“But you’re not cocky though.” Alex rolled her eyes playfully as she pulled her seatbelt on. “I can’t be cocky if it’s the truth.” Kelley pointed out, “That’s just your opinion though,” Alex informed as Kelley pulled out and started driving, in the opposite direction to the apartments. “We’re not going home?”

 

“Nope; you’re stuck with me all day.”

 

“I spend too much time with you,” Alex pointed out, “No you don’t.” Kelley disagreed taking one hand of the steering wheel to connect with Alex’s as their hands loosely dangled over the console. “Plus; you love spending time with me, you can’t deny that I’m your favorite person.”

 

“My favorite person is actually Julie but whatever you say.” Alex chirped; Kelley didn’t miss the blush and smile on Alex’s face as she laughed slightly before allowing herself to focus on driving for a while. Kelley had a vague idea of where she was going, but also she just felt like cruising for a while to see where the road would take her. Alex looked out of the window and began to recognize where they were heading, “Kell, are we driving to Sunnyvale?”

 

“Yeah, I come here sometimes. You’ve been?”

 

“A few times; one of my friends from school moved here when we were fifteen, I used to get my dad to drive me out to see her. I haven’t been here for like six years though.”

 

“It’s not the best place in the world, but I don’t mind coming here once in a while.” The drive was another ten minutes before Kelley parked in the mall parking lot. “I guess we can just walk around for a while, yeah?”

 

Alex nods, “yeah that’s fine.” – Kelley could’ve suggested they jump off a bridge and Alex would probably have agreed to it. After getting out of the car, they walked hand in hand through the parking lot until Alex takes control and pulls Kelley towards an old clothes shop, vintage at its finest. Alex lets Kelley’s hand go as she begins to sift through the clothes, Kelley rolls her eyes but doesn’t mind following Alex and offering up vaguely useful advice on items that Alex shows her. Alex is looking through some sweatshirts when she pulls out one and holds it in front of Kelley who is looking down at her phone, smirking Alex says “Kell what about this, it looks good right?”

 

“Yeah; it looks really good Al.” Kelley doesn’t look up, “You sure Kell? I think this would look better on you.”

 

“Really – you’re the fucking worst.” Kelley replies straight-faced as she looks at the navy blue sweatshirt and CAL emblazoned in yellow in the middle. Alex starts laughing as she clutches the sweatshirt to her chest, “You wouldn’t have fallen for that if you weren’t on your phone.” Alex tells her as she hangs the sweatshirt back up. Kelley slips her phone into her pocket and walks up so that she’s standing behind Alex, arms wrapping around her shoulders. “Happy now?”

 

“I’m not unhappy.” Alex shrugs as Kelly leaves a feathery kiss to her neck, swallowing thickly Alex continues to walk with Kelley still latched to her as she looks through the jackets. After looking through the shop and finding nothing, except for spending five minutes stroking the owner’s cat, who unlike most of the cats Alex has encountered in her life, the ginger one sitting on the counter is definitely Alex’s favorite, purring and nudging Alex’s hand to continue stroking her. Eventually, they leave the shop and Kelley instantly reaches for Alex’s hand as she pulls her through the mall; both glancing at various shops but not choosing to enter them, instead they just carry on walking; Alex would talk about whatever came to mind, usually it was stresses over her classes that whilst she know Kelley doesn’t understand what she’s talking about, will always be on hand to calm her down, or reassure her that she can handle it, senior year wasn’t supposed to be easy after all. Senior year, it’s the mention of it that has Kelley falling quiet; it’s not like she forgot that it was her senior year, it’s more about what will happen once she graduates; will she keep her best friends? She knows she couldn’t live without Christen and Tobin, they’ve been a trio since freshman year; she knows she’ll have a hard time forgetting Emily and Morgan, Becky’s like her older sister – always getting her out of dumb shit she happens to get involved in, in fact, Kelley can’t imagine a life without all her teammates and that’s what scares her, but what scares her the most is imagining what she’d do if she didn’t have Alex; sure, she’s known the girl a month but Kelley’s is a firm believer in fate, despite Tobin’s eye rolls every time she brings it up; it doesn’t deter Kelley though, she knows she was supposed to know Alex in some way, she just hasn’t entirely figured out why yet. “You’re quiet…” Alex remarks, tugging Kelley’s hand to bring the defender out of her thoughts. “Do you believe in fate?” Kelley asks and Alex is confused by the question, and why Kelley’s asking but either way she thinks about it. “I guess; I believe everything happens for a reason, that’s sort of the same thing.”

 

“Answer this; there are so many other colleges here than Stanford; after you left CAL, why come here? Why not UCLA? Or Santa Clara? Or USC?” Kelley finishes and waits for Alex’s response. “Um, I guess; I don’t know, Stanford felt the best fit for me?” Alex wasn’t entirely saw what pulled her towards Stanford but now that Kelley had brought it up, she knew she was going to spend the rest of the day thinking about it. Kelley nods, seemingly satisfied with her answer, Alex wasn’t though, Alex was just confused now. Kelley pulls Alex into a surf shop, her eyes lighting up at the multitude of surfboards hung up around the shop. Alex lets Kelley’s hand go, and lets Kelley wander around the store like a kid in a candy shop. Alex stops by the door and watches as Kelley is now excitedly engaging in a conversation with one of the guys who worked there. She tried to focus but her mind kept falling back to Kelley’s question; after the hard part of telling her family she wanted to leave CAL, choosing which college to spend her senior year at came easy to her, Stanford was almost an immediate choice, her mind was firmly set on it but she never wondered why; she never thought about why Stanford University had such a pull on her, let alone understood the whole ordeal. “Hey, what’s up?” Kelley asks, standing in front of Alex who flicks her eyes to her. “I was just thinking,”

 

“Did it hurt?” Kelley asked in mock concern as she tapped the side of Alex’s head. “No but you will if you don’t stop that.” Kelley instantly let her hand fall to her side, “I was going to teach you to surf one day; I haven’t forgotten.”

 

“Yeah,” Alex smiled, “Neither did I.”

 

“Ready to go?” Kelley asked holding her hand out, Alex nods and takes the defender’s hand as they leave the shop. They continue to walk through the mall, in and out of different shops until they’re sitting in the food court with their drinks, Alex was laughing over something Kelley said when she felt a presence beside her. “Hey do I know you?” Alex snaps her head towards the guy, “Because you look just like my next girlfriend.” He winks, but Alex just stares at him blankly. “How long did it take to come up with that masterpiece?” Alex questions, a hint of sarcasm seeping through as Kelley studies the pair from across the table. The guy looks taken aback, obviously he’s never pulled that line on a disinterested girl, Alex looks at him; hair done (he’s probably spent longer on his hair than Alex took getting ready), muscles, natural smirk, dimples, if Alex was straight she might’ve thought he was hot. “What’s up dude? Have you never gotten that response before?” Alex asks, tilting her head to the side. “I-It’s fine; I’m Cameron.”

 

“Alex.”

 

“So Alex, never seen you around here before.” Alex rolls her eyes; such a cliché line, even if Kelley used a similar line on her the first time they met. “That’ll be because I’m not from here.”

 

“Oh really? Where are you from then?”

 

“Hometown or college; take your pick.” Alex sent a wink over to Kelley who instantly understood, she felt like having a bit of fun, and when has fun ever hurt anyone? “Both,” Cameron replied, stretching his arm across the back of Alex’s chair. “Hometown; Diamond Bar, currently at Stanford.”

 

“Senior?” Cameron asks and Alex nods. “Nice,” he whistles lowly. “So, you know you’re hot right?”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“What are you studying because you could study me,” Cameron winks and Alex could’ve sworn she was about to throw up, “No thanks; my major’s difficult enough. I don’t need a guy to make it worse.” Alex says, and Cameron’s eyes widen as he coughs before continuing. “So there’s this party-”

 

“Are you asking me out?” Alex interjects and Cameron nods, “As much as I’d love to which admittedly isn’t that much. I don’t think you’ll be able to have the type of fun you want with a gay girl.”

 

Kelley’s lost it by now, and is on the verge of wheezing as she struggles to control her laughter; Alex studies Cameron’s face, he looks horrified but she can’t tell whether it’s from the fact he flirted with a gay girl, got talked down by a girl, or because she’s actually gay – either way, she wasn’t that concerned as she stood up and pat his shoulder before whispering. “I wouldn’t tell your friends about this experience; it’s for your own good.” Alex offered him the advice as Kelley stood up, throwing her empty cup in the trash. “Sorry dude, better luck next time.” Kelley waved to Cameron before jogging to catch up with Alex. “That was the best thing that’s happened in days. He looked so defeated.”

 

“It was pretty good, I honestly thought I was going to start laughing and not be able to finish what I was saying.” Alex smiles as Kelley takes hold of her hand. “The poor guy; his ego must be crushed.”

 

“Maybe Cameron and Emily can hang out, bruised egos makes for a good conversation starter.” Alex spoke, although her attention had shifted across the way, her eyes fixated on somebody she didn’t want to see. Kelley stopped walking and followed Alex’s line of sight, instantly tensing up when her eyes fell on Hannah, “Alex, Al come on.” Kelley tried to pull Alex in the opposite direction but the forward’s feet were frozen to the spot. “Don’t let her notice you.” Kelley tried again, but still Alex wouldn’t budge, couldn’t move. It wasn’t Hannah who noticed Alex looking in her direction; it was the girl who was with Hannah. “ALEX!” The Berkeley sophomore comes running over and launches herself into Alex’s arms, Alex smiles as she hugs the blonde close to her, swinging the striker around before her feet touch the ground again. “Rach; I’ve missed you,” Alex smiled bringing the girl in for another hug. “Mate, it’s not right you being at Stanford; I miss my big sister.”

 

Rachel Daly, English born was Alex’s ray of sunshine at Cal; they first crossed paths in Rachel’s freshman year when she came running up to Alex nervously biting her nails as she desperately tried to find what class she was supposed to be in. Alex had calmed her down before taking her to her class, talking to her about the one thing Alex knew best – soccer or football if you’re as pedantic as Rachel. As soon as the first words came out of her mouth, Alex was surprised by how energetic and passionate Rachel was about soccer, speaking a mile a minute as her strong Yorkshire accent began being more pronounced – which had Alex struggling to understand, but now she’d say she’s pretty good at understanding her. Since, they first met; Alex had taken it upon herself to always look out for Rachel, the way a big sister would look out for their little sister. It had killed Alex so much to leave Rachel at Cal; she remembers she told Rachel and Hope, her two best friends alone a couple of days before she told the rest of her teammates because they deserved to know first; Hope had been shocked, hurt but ultimately supported Alex in whatever she chose; Rachel was a sobbing mess as she clung onto Alex and begged her not to leave, she nearly changed her mind. “I can’t wait until we play you; I can show you that your starting position is being done proud of.”

 

“I had no doubt you’d be a star Rach.” Alex smiles, still with her arms wrapped around the English girl. “I’ll come back and see you guys one day.” Alex promises, she’s unsure how much she means it but the way Rachel’s eyes light up, she feels more confident in the words. “Hi, Rachel Daly.” Rachel sticks her hand out to Kelley who shakes it, “Kelley O’Hara,” She answers with a grin. Hannah is standing in front of them, wordlessly looking between the three girls; she felt jealous at Alex hugging Rachel so close, “Are you Alex’s girlfriend?” Rachel asked Kelley who shares a nervous glance with Alex. “Why? Do you think we are?” Kelley asks, smirking at the striker. “Yeah, you guys are cute.”

 

“She could be; after all, she doesn’t lie to me, and she’s really considerate.” Alex smiles over at Kelley, the thinly veiled insult not going unnoticed by Hannah who shifts her weight awkwardly from foot to foot. “Hey Rach, I’ll Facetime you tonight ok?” Alex says, hugging her once more. “Ok, you better not fall asleep this time.” Rachel narrows her eyes, “No promises kiddo, love ‘ya.”

 

“Love you more,” Rachel smiles before waving at Kelley, “It was great to meet you; look after my big sister.”

 

“Always.” Kelley smiles, looking over at Alex with a lovesick grin. Rachel turns and pulls Hannah away, the New Zealander’s eyes on Alex until Rachel pulled her into a store. “So, aside from the obvious. Rachel’s a nice kid.”

 

“She is, I miss her a lot.”

 

“My heartstrings were pulled when she called you her big sister, fucking hell.” Kelley wasn’t going to get emotional, even if it was the cutest thing. “Yeah,” Alex laughs rejoining their hands, “I was really protective of her, and it felt good to have someone to look up to me like that you know? She came to me for advice, when she was upset, I was the big sister she never had and I was no longer the baby sister.” Kelley watched as Alex talked about Rachel, seeing her eyes light up. “You really care about her, right?”

 

“A lot.” Alex hadn’t realized she was crying until Kelley stepped in front of and wiped away the tears with the pads of her thumbs. “Rach and Hope; they were the two people who could’ve made me stay, leaving them hurt so much.”

 

“They don’t seem to blame you though; you’re always texting Hope and Rachel doesn’t seem to hold a grudge.”

 

“They don’t; once I told them why I was leaving, they understood and whilst it killed the three of us, we all agreed it was the best decision.” Alex adds, “Can we change the subject?” She asks quietly, and Kelley instantly nods. “Do you think if a Zombie bit a robot, he’d get electrocuted?”

 

“What the hell?”

 

“You said change the subject; it’s the first thing I thought of!” Kelley defended, but Alex just laughed – the nerdy side of Kelley was her favorite. They walk around the mall, twice before they choose to sit on a bench by the fountain, just basking in each other’s company and letting splashes from the fountain hit their arms. “Are you glad you got out of bed now?” Alex asks, kicking Kelley’s foot with her own. “I suppose, I like my sleep a lot you know? But I suppose I love you more.”

 

Alex’s heart feels like it’s going to burst as she tries to hide the grin threatening to burst onto her face, “I’m better than sleep.”

 

“Now’s who cocky?” Kelley asked amusedly as she tilts her head to the side. Alex shoves her shoulder playfully, “I’m kidding; we both know I’m the one with no modesty.”

 

“That’s just the tip of the iceberg Kell.” Alex smiles fondly, leaning down to let her head fall on Kelley’s shoulder, the defender’s arm instantaneously moving to wrap around her back. “Hey Al?” Alex hums to show she’s listening. “When we’re professional players; do you think we’ll win a World Cup?”

 

“We have to get called up to the full national team for that to happen,” Alex replied yawning as she closed her eyes, “but a World Cup sounds fucking amazing.”

 

“I want to win one with all our teammates at our side; Stanford to World Cup champions sounds pretty cool.”

 

“Cal to Stanford to national team to World Cup champions sounds difficult and I’m tired; can we go home and nap?” Alex asks, starting to zone out of the conversation as Kelley pulls her phone out to check the time, it was only a little after 1 PM, and they’d be home in thirty minutes and still have time for a two hour nap. “Yeah, let’s go and sleep.” Kelley stands up and tugs a sleepy Alex out and to her car. “If you stay awake for the whole ride home, I’ll buy dinner after training.” Kelley dangles the offer in front of Alex as the forward awkwardly tugs the seatbelt over her; after all she is sitting cross-legged in the passenger seat. “What if I want a lobster?”

 

“You don’t like it, good try though. How about sushi?” Kelley suggested, and Alex finds herself quickly agreeing whilst also forcing herself to stay awake; this is the version of the Hunger Games that didn’t make it to filming.

 

Kelley keeps glancing over at Alex who is really struggling to stay awake, she presses her foot down further on the gas because she knows how pissed Alex is going to be if she loses, even if it is over the dinner that Kelley would still buy, even if Alex fell asleep. Alex keeps pinching her arm to make sure she stays awake but she knows she’s fighting a losing battle; she’s going to sleep before they get back to Stanford. Kelley thinks for a moment, she has an idea to wake Alex up but she’s wondering whether it’s cheating; after she stops at a red light, she does it anyway and leans over the console to press a kiss to the underside of Alex’s jaw and Kelley can only watch as Alex’s eyes widen and she tries to cover her cheeks but Kelley can already see the blush forming. They make it back to the building in a little under fifteen minutes, “You did it! Sushi’s on me.” Kelley grinned stepping out of the corner. “You cheated.” Alex remarked, but Kelley was already shrugging, “I have no idea what you’re talking about; now about that nap?” Kelley asks but Alex is already running towards the building without a second look back. Kelley speeds after her, following her up the stairs as the two entered the apartment. “Yo Lyss; how’s it going?” Kelley asks looking over the couch. “Horrible, but that’s expected. How’s your day?” Alyssa asks glancing up for a brief second. “Fun, we drove to Sunnyvale but now we’re going to take a nap; if we’re not awake for training come and wake us up?” Kelley asks and Alyssa nods before Kelley is walking down the hallway to her room where she finds Alex sifting through her closet and pulling out a pair of shorts. “Help yourself, really.” Kelley rolls her eyes, “Shut up,” Alex mumbles “My jeans are uncomfortable,” Kelley shrugs and grabs her own pair of sweatpants from her bed and changes back into them before climbing into bed, moving until her back was against the wall. Alex leaves her jeans on the floor before walking over to the bed and climbing in beside Kelley. “You’re warm,” Alex chuckles softly as she tucks herself into Kelley’s side, “You’re hot but we don’t mean the same thing.”

 

“Kell; shut up.” Alex grumbles before wrapping an arm around the back of Kelley and balling up her shirt in her fist as she closes her eyes, falling asleep almost instantly. Kelley takes longer to fall asleep, she wasn’t as tired and so instead she starts running her hand through Alex’s hair, the forward mumbling and pulling Kelley closer, even though they were already pressed up against each other. Kelley takes a few minutes to watch Alex sleep, when she sleeps she looks like a child; so innocent, eyebrows furrowed at whatever she was dreaming about and lips parted, if she could describe it in a word it’d be adorable. Kelley does fall asleep, her head atop of Alex’s. Christen and Tobin are in Christen’s room, getting ready for training, Alyssa’s just finished tying her hair up in a ponytail when she knocks gently and opens Kelley’s bedroom door, trying to pretend that the two of them asleep curled up together isn’t really cute. “Kelley, Alex; it’s time for training, you guys have twenty-five minutes.” Alyssa says, ignoring Tobin’s request from before to wake them up at 3:55 PM, just to see them panic. “Kell,” Alyssa says a little louder, “We’re coming, we’ll meet you there.” Kelley replies, her voice thickly laced with sleep. Alyssa shrugs and leaves the room before waiting for Tobin and Christen so that they can head to training. Kelley doesn’t even remember Alyssa coming into her room. Which is when Kelley eventually wakes up and stretches, she is initially confused by the silence in the apartment but shrugs it off until she looks at her phone, it’s 4:01 PM. “Shit, Alex, wake up, we’re late for training!” Kelley shoves Alex until she wakes up, her dazed nature would be something Kelley would want to make fun off if they weren’t late. “Move it, training’s already started. I’ll wait for you.” Alex springs up and runs out of the room not even remembering she’s forgotten her shoes. Kelley stands up and rushes to get changed, as quickly as she can which resulted in trying to put her shoe on and slipping on the floor, her back colliding with the lightwood flooring. “Not a good start,” Kelley mutters standing up and throwing her shirt over her head as she grabs her phone and water and heads out of the apartment. 4:09 PM, she’s screwed, but what’s new? As Kelley approaches Alex’s building, the forward stumbles out, looking all confused but the panicked expression tugs at her heart, “It’ll be fine.” Kelley reassures her, Alex hates being late. The pair race to the field, breathlessly stopping when they arrive and Paul stares at them. “O’HARA, MORGAN; OVER HERE NOW!” Alex hangs behind Kelley as the pair approach their coach, “Explanation?”

 

“It’s my fault; we were sleeping and I forgot to set my alarm to wake up. It’s all my fault.” Kelley sighs as Alex furrows her eyebrows from behind her. “How many?”

 

“21.” Paul answers with a sigh as Kelley starts jogging, Alex having to run to catch up. “Why did you say it was all your fault?”

 

“Would you rather I throw you under the bus?” Kelley retorted, a slight bitterness to her tone, Alex doesn’t answer. “I thought so.” Alex hangs back, not in the mood to deal with Kelley when she’s in a bad mood. “Lex, I’m sorry, I’m not angry.” Kelley’s voice and facial expression softens when she realizes Alex is no longer beside her. Alex jogged faster so that she was level again, “What kept you two?” Ashlyn asked as the pair around to where she was stood. “Don’t Ash; we’re not all like you and Ali.” Kelley smirks, laughing when Ali blushes bright red. Alex and Kelley continue to run laps until Paul cuts them off after lap seventeen and tells them to get involved in the full-field scrimmage. Kelley is on the opposite side to Kelley and after the game kicks off, Kelley sticks tight as she can to Alex, holding her waist when marking her, not so subtly looking over her shoulder and when Kelley sees the ball heading her way, she breathes against Alex’s neck to put her off, it works when the ball completely bypasses the forward and lands at Sonnett’s feet. “I hope you don’t defend like this against Arizona State.”

 

“Of course not babe, they won’t give me as good of reactions as you do.” Kelley whispered, pressing a kiss just behind her ear before jogging away like nothing had happened. Alex hesitates just shaking her head at Kelley before jogging back to continue with the game.

 

After training’s over; Alex is starving and ready for dinner, she still needs to go back and get changed and showered and is not so subtly trying to tear Kelley away from talking to Morgan, she tries holding her hand, pinching her arm, leaning up to kiss the back of her neck but it’s when she sits down and starts pouting like a five year old that Kelley finishes up her conversation, laughs and tells her they can leave. “You know, you could’ve just said you wanted to leave.” Kelley quipped taking hold of Alex’s hand and leading her out of the field and back to her apartment, “Uh huh, I know you preferred my subtle hints though.” Alex winked and Kelley knew she couldn’t deny it. Walking into the apartment, ignoring Tobin and Christen’s knowing looks from where they were tangled together on the couch, SportsCenter on in the background. Alex walks into Kelley’s room and starts looking through her closet for clothes, “I know I left some stuff here, where is it?” Alex asks as she hears Kelley enter her room. “I don’t know, and stop leaving your crap in my room.” Kelley deadpans but Alex just hums and pulls out her Cal hoodie, “I don’t see you giving me this back, so shut up, you have no argument.” Kelley snatched the hoodie from Alex and held it close. “I like your hoodie, not the Cal thing; I almost unstitched it the other night when I was watching Cal against UCLA – they lost, so I cheered up a bit.” Kelley shrugs but still refuses to let the hoodie go. Alex pulls out a Stanford t-shirt of Kelley’s and finds the shorts she was wearing before. “I’m going to get a shower and then we can leave.” Alex heads into one bathroom and Kelley goes to the other, they’re showered and dressed with their still wet hair tied into buns in a little under twenty minutes. Kelley is wearing an old pair of Nike shorts and Alex’s hoodie, feeling warm and almost intoxicated by the smell of spearmint, even though peppermint will always win. They say bye to Christen and Tobin before heading out; Kelley choosing not to take her car as the sushi place they’re going to is only a ten minute walk away. Kelley swings hers and Alex’s hands bringing a smile to the forward’s face, whilst trying to make her laugh by making the worst jokes, so bad that the only thing you could possibly do was laugh at them. As they approach the restaurant, Kelley lets go of Alex’s hand and moves so that she can wrap her arm around Alex’s waist. “You look good in my clothes,” she comments so freely that Alex wonders whether she’d even realized she’d said it. Kelley doesn’t add anything else as she walks into the restaurant with Alex trailing behind her; it’s not too packed which can only be a good thing. They’re led to a table and sit down, “I’m sorry for making us late; I know you hate being late.” Kelley speaks after a moment of silence. “I don’t blame you, we were both tired.”

 

“You can be mad at me you know? I’m not going to hate you if you’re mad at me for anything.”

 

“I know,” Alex answers honestly, “I just; I feel like people always deserve a chance to explain themselves, what’s the point in getting mad over nothing?” Alex posed the question, Kelley shrugged. “I wish I knew, I get mad over the stupidest things.”

 

“What’s stupid to everybody else might not be stupid to you; don’t forget that.” Was the last thing Alex said on the matter as they both ordered their food, they sat closer together as Alex looked over Kelley’s shoulder to read through the group chat; all talking about Halloween, even though it’s only October 1st. “I think we should wear matching costumes for the Halloween party; Syd and Allie always plan this amazing night and it’s usually our favorite night, well that and our last party of the year.”

 

“What do you have planned?” Alex asked, unsure of what costume idea was giving Kelley the shiny glint in her eyes. “Sexy cop and criminal?” She suggested, sticking her tongue between her teeth. “Think again O’Hara.”

 

“Ok, what about-” But Alex cuts her off, “If you say anything that has the word sexy in it you can go alone.” Kelley just smiles and locks her phone. She leans up and nuzzles her face into Alex’s neck, “You’d make a cute cop.”

 

“Why aren’t I the criminal?” Alex asked, although she already knew what the answer was. “You’re too nice,” Yes; Alex has heard that before. The rest of their evening is spent with Alex making fun of Kelley for not being able to use chopsticks, despite showing her how to, three times no less, Kelley stealing bites of Alex’s food which ended in Alex rolling her eyes but not really caring in the end. They drink three glasses of wine each and the effects of the merlot goes straight to Kelley whereas Alex handles it better, although she does take amusement from the way Kelley’s smiling goofily and the blush covering her cheeks as she fumbles with Alex’s fingers to hold her hand across the table. How freaking adorable. Kelley pays like she promised as the pair leave the restaurant hand in hand as they head back to Kelley’s apartment, although the defender is tipsy and running ahead, fingers still laced with Alex’s, the forward trying to slow her and calm her down but Kelley’s ‘high on life right now’ as she unfortunately yelled in the face of an unimpressed middle-aged woman, Kelley just shrugged and stopped outside her building, Alex’s hoodie sleeves falling over her hands as Alex stops in front of her, before Kelley and Alex even have a chance to realize what’s happening, Kelley has Alex’s face cupped in her hands and she’s pressing her lips against the forward’s, the taste of their wine stained lips is the intoxication neither of them knew they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, come yell at me on tumblr; redstarspress


	12. That Girl Is All Hellfire

Alex pulls away first, her eyes still fixated on Kelley’s lips as the defender grins at her; both of them have wanted that for so long, but now that it’s happened, all Alex can think of is they were not supposed to be kissing, they shouldn’t, they talked about it; they admitted that for the time it takes for the both of them to figure out their feelings, kissing each other was off limits, but as Alex looks into Kelley’s eyes, she just shrugs and pulls her back in for another kiss. Kelley’s hands move to tangle in Alex’s still damp hair, before resting on the back of the forward’s neck as Alex wraps her fingers around the strings of her hoodie and tugs Kelley even closer, until Alex eventually let’s her brain catch up with her actions and she pulls away first, for the second time; lips parted as she tries to think of something to say but Kelley talks first, “I’ve wanted to do that for we-”

 

“We shouldn’t have done it.” Alex deadpans; unintentionally cutting the defender off, Kelley just tilts her head to the side, “But, why not?” She asked, her voice falling to just above a whisper as Alex tries not to look at the hurt expression on her face. “Kell; you know why.” Alex sighs as she lifts a hand to brush through her hair and bring it over her left shoulder. “We both agreed we needed time to figure out our feelings.” Alex adds her voice lowering as she speaks, although she still refuses to meet Kelley’s eyes. The defender huffs, obviously annoyed, “I know what my feelings are; well not really, but I know there’s something there.”

 

“I know there’s something here Kell, but I need to be sure.”

 

“Did you do this with Hannah? Did you put off kissing her until you were ‘sure’?” Kelley asks her voice gruff with frustration; deep down she knows she shouldn’t be bringing up Alex’s ex girlfriend when all she wants is to kiss her again. “Why would you bring that up?” Alex asks her hands on her hips as she begins to get angry. “She has nothing to do with this; we talked about this, we decided it was best not to act on anything.”

 

“How can I not act? Alex, it’s killing me not being able to kiss you.” Kelley goes to reach out and touch Alex’s arm but refrains at the last minute, instead choosing to fold her arms and stare down at the ground. “You think I haven’t wanted this? I’ve wanted this Kell, I just don’t think it’s a good idea; not yet.”

 

“When you finally figure your shit out, give me a call.” Kelley mutters as she turns and walks towards her building, Alex wants to call after her, she wants to stop her but she just sighs and lets her fingers hover over her lips, still burning from Kelley’s touch. Alex just lets her shoulders drop as she walks down the street, wanting nothing more than to just go home and go to bed; she knows that won’t be happening though, she walks up the stairwell once she’s back in her building and heads back to the apartment, opening the door and walking in. Alex furrows her eyebrows when she sees the living room and kitchen empty, she just shuts the door and walks down the hall to her room, she walks in and notices Julie sitting on her bed, typing away on her laptop; papers spread out beside her. “Hey, how was dinner?” Julie asks, smiling when she sees Alex enter the room, Alex just shrugs and kicks her shoes off before climbing into bed. “Alex, Alex hey; what’s happened?” Julie asks, concern filling her voice as she stands up from her bed and pads over to Alex’s and pulls the covers back. “Move up,” Julie mumbles pushing Alex as she sits on her bed cross-legged with Alex moving to sit so that her back is against the wall. “I’ve got it bad,” Alex sighs before feeling a lump in her throat as the first few tears start to fall from her eyes. “Did something happen at dinner?” Julie asks as she moves to lay a gentle hand on Alex’s arm, the forward nodding in response. “Talk to me Alex, I don’t like this.” Julie just watches Alex for a moment before her eyes widen, “did you kiss her?”

 

“S-She kissed me, and then I kissed her.” Alex answers her voice raspy. “Ok; what happened after?” Julie asks, her voice slowly starting to soothe Alex as the forward begins to relax and furiously drag at her cheeks. “I told her we shouldn’t have done it, she sounded hurt and I reminded her we agreed not to let anything happen until we’d figured out our feelings.” Alex hesitates, “She brought up Hannah, my ex girlfriend; she got mad and went upstairs to her apartment.” Julie listens and nods, “Ok, well it’s definitely best to let Kelley cool off because when she’s mad, that girl is all hellfire.” Alex looks at Julie who smiles warmly, her hand not leaving Alex’s arm. “You’re right, you two need to think clearly about where you are, what you want and what you feel; Kelley will realize she was wrong to bring Hannah up, and she’ll apologize when she sees you. As for you, I’m going to stop studying for the night and we’re going to eat ice cream and watch a movie. Syd and Morgan won’t be back for a few hours.” Julie stands up and holds her hands out for Alex to take, which she does and the both of them walk into the kitchen; Julie grabbing the ice cream from the freezer and two spoons before ushering the forward into the living room and sitting on the couch as Alex pulls the blanket from the back and throws it over them; Julie turns Netflix on and they settle on watching Clueless which Alex finds out was one of JJ’s favorite movies as a kid. The ice cream sits between the pair of them, and the tub is empty halfway through the movie as Alex begins to feel a weight lifted off her shoulders, and by the end of the movie she’s laughing and feeling close to her normal self. “I told you; ice cream and movies are the best when you’re upset.” Julie grins as she takes the empty tub and spoons to the kitchen. Alex follows, still wrapped in the blanket, “Thank you. I promise I don’t cry all the time.” Alex mumbles softly, “I know you don’t, you’ve been here for nearly two months and this is the first time I’ve seen you cry.”

 

“I feel like I should talk to Kelley.” Alex sighs as she sits at the counter, “That’s a bad idea, trust me. I’ll be surprised if Kelley hasn’t kicked off at Christen or Tobin yet; she needs to get her anger out before she’ll be ready to talk to anybody, especially you.” Julie says, but lets her shoulders drop when she sees the way Alex’s lip is quivering, “I’m sorry, don’t cry again. I just don’t want to sugarcoat it for you, it’s best you know what Kelley’s going to be like from me instead of her, if you talk to her she might say something she regrets and you haven’t known her as long as us; we can handle the angry outbursts.”

 

“What angry outbursts?”

 

Julie offers Alex a tight-lipped smile, “She’s told Christen she hates her and wants her to move out before now, she called Emily pathetic, she told me I’m an awful defender, and there have been others. We don’t take it to heart because we know once she’s calmed down she’ll be begging us to forgive her, we just ignore the comments usually.”

 

Alex’s eyes widen, “I never realized she was so angry, so hurtful.”

 

“Don’t worry,” Julie soothes her again, “We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time when Kelley was angry. Trust me, I’m saving you.” Alex just nods and lets her head fall, “You kissed her? How was it?” Julie asks and she lights up when she sees a smile break out onto Alex’s face as the forward gushes over how it felt, the taste of the wine on her lips, and Julie just smiles, she knows it won’t take long for her to figure out her feelings. Alex heads off to bed first, just after Syd and Morgan return home, Morgan returning home from a movie night with Emily and Sam but ending up having Sam referee a doughnut eating contest after Emily was convinced she was going to win, Syd comes in swinging bags around after spending the day shopping with Amy and Allie. “What’s up with our little striker?” Morgan asked after she was sure that Alex was in her room, although she hadn’t yet heard the door shut. “Yeah, she looks like she’s been crying; spill it Johnston.” Syd added, making herself comfortable on the couch. Julie sighs, she wants to tell them but there’s a niggling feeling in her stomach that if she tells their roommates, their friends; that in some way she’s going to be betraying Alex’s trust. “Alex and Kelley kissed,” Julie says before she can really stop herself, “Alex told her it shouldn’t have happened, at least not until they’d figured out their feelings and now Kelley’s pissed off.”

 

“The children kissed? That’s not what I expected.” Morgan spoke aloud, her eyes falling on the wall behind the TV, “She knows what Kelley’s like when she’s angry right? The whole hellfire thing…” Syd trails off, and Julie nods again. “I told her, I think that upset her more though – god, guys you should’ve seen her; she looked heartbroken.”

 

“Poor kid,” Syd sighs, “What’re you doing?” Julie asks Morgan who is typing furiously on her phone. “I’m arguing with Sonnett, I won that contest fair and square. She’s such a sore loser.” Julie rolls her eyes; in hindsight she should’ve expected that. Alex is lying on top of her bed, the bedroom door is still swung open from where Alex threw it open with more force than she intended at the time; she heard Julie explain what had happened and she was grateful, grateful for JJ so that she didn’t have to do it; knowing she wouldn’t have been able to say two words on the matter before breaking down again. Alex starts twisting the loose thread at the bottom of the t-shirt around her finger, somewhat so tightly that Alex could cut off the circulation in her finger, if she felt like it. Kelley’s Stanford shirt smells like peppermint, of course it does, Alex thinks all of her clothes smell like peppermint. Her phone buzzes from somewhere on her bed, and Alex is sat up and scrambling for it when she sees it poking out under her comforter, she grabs hold of it and notices the two messages on the screen; one is from Hope which she’s had for over an hour, the second is from Tobin and Alex’s shoulders visibly deflate; but at the same time she’s grateful it’s not Kelley texting her, she knows she couldn’t handle that right now.

 

You up for a quick pickup game? – Tobin

It’s nearly midnight… - Alex

You in or what? – Tobin

Yeah, sure, the field in ten minutes? – Alex

You got it kid. – Tobin

 

Alex shrugs as she stands up and goes to retrieve her Nike’s from where she kicked them off hours before, she pulls them on before swiping her phone and walking back through the living room. “I’m heading out; I don’t know when I’ll be back.” Alex says dismissively, not missing the worried look that Julie sends her, “I’ll be fine,” She mumbles as she leaves the apartment and heads down the stairwell, she heads out of the building and slowly starts to walk towards the field; she knows what Tobin wants, or at least she thinks she knows what Tobin wants; she has a pretty good idea, that still doesn’t stop the nervous feeling hitting the pit of her stomach as she walks through the darkened campus, the way she’s feeling; somebody taking her out with a sniper rifle would be the least of her worries. As she approaches the field she sees a figure juggling a ball, and if that wasn’t a giveaway, the snapback was. Alex walks through the barely open gate and down to the field when Tobin notices her and lets the ball drop to the pitch. “A pickup game cannot be conducted with two people Tobin.”

 

“So I lied to lure you here; it’s not the first time and won’t be the last.” Tobin answers back harshly and Alex nearly stumbles when she hears the tone of her voice. “Ok, I’m sorry,” Alex mumbles although at this point it was mostly to herself. Tobin sighs when she sees Alex’s sheepish expression in the floodlights. “I’m sorry, I’m not mad at you. I’m just pissed off.” Tobin tries to reassure her, and whilst Alex is still wary she nods and walks closer. “What’s wrong?” Alex asks, Tobin tenses momentarily but shrugging; “Got caught in Kelley’s wrath; even though she doesn’t mean it she says some horrible fucking things.” Tobin mutters, lashing the ball against the crossbar. “What did she say? Tobin tell me,” Alex wraps her hand around Tobin’s bicep. Tobin sits down on the pitch, gesturing for Alex to do the same, which she does. “She says I don’t deserve Christen, I’d never be good enough for her.”

 

“That’s horrible,” Alex can feel her heart wrench at Tobin’s words. “She says it like I haven’t spent nights thinking about that, why do you think I’d never admitted to Christen that there was anything there.”

 

“You know she’s wrong though,”

 

Tobin shrugs, “I know that. Still fucking hurts though.” The pair fall silent, the only sounds that they can confidently make out are the sounds of owls in the trees surrounding them, their breathing and the occasional distant screams from drunken revelers. “You did the right thing you know?” Tobin speaks up again; Alex tilts her head to the side in confusion, “Sticking to your guns and telling her you shouldn’t have kissed her, not until you’d figured everything out.”

 

“Why doesn’t it feel like that?” Alex asked a slight waver in her voice as she dropped her head. “Feelings suck, they’re going to; I think you know what you feel for Kelley but you’re just scared to admit it.”

 

“I’m not scared.” Alex protested weakly, lifting her head up at the moment Tobin raised her eyebrows at her; Alex rolled her eyes as she blinked back tears. “I like her, yes; but I’m barely over my last relationship Tobin, what if I hurt her?”

 

“Trust me Alex,” Tobin reached out to the forward. “If anyone hurts anyone, it’ll be Kelley not you.” Tobin murmured, wincing after she said it. “I don’t mean that – wait – it doesn’t matter.”

 

“Kelley’s going to hurt me?”

 

“No.” Tobin was quick to shake her head, “Not deliberately. I’d call it insecurity, but it’s different. I can’t explain it ok, but you need to be sure of your feelings before you try anything with her.”

 

“I will be,” Alex nods, feeling another weight set on her shoulders as she tried to process Tobin’s words. “Come on; I called you out for a game, let’s play.” Tobin cut the increasing tension by standing up and rolling the ball under her foot. Alex pushed herself up and stole the ball from under Tobin’s foot and started racing down to the other end of the field, Tobin chasing her down but Alex was running full speed ahead and was able to roll the ball off the underside of her foot into the open goal. Alex turned around; Tobin was standing in front of her trying to catch her breath. “You- You’re fast.” Tobin laughed before jogging to retrieve the ball. Tobin walked towards Alex, the ball under her foot; Alex tried to take it from her but Tobin was too quick and flicked the ball past her, “I can’t believe you’re going to make me work for this,” Alex grumbles before running after Tobin, shaking her head as she tried to steal the possession, even though Tobin wasn’t giving it up without a fight. Tobin ran to within twenty yards of the goal and took a shot, only standing and watching as it flew six yards wide of the right post. “Press would’ve scored that, come on Tobs.”

 

“Shut up,” Tobin laughed playfully shoving the forward. “It’s going to be ok, you know that right?” Tobin asked; suddenly falling serious again. “I know; doesn’t mean she’ll talk to me though.” Alex shrugs as she runs over to grab the ball. Tobin sighs.

 

The pair leave playing for a while, and instead they’re both lying on the field talking about whatever came to mind, “So this Halloween party; it’s a pretty big deal?”

 

“Oh yeah; it’s one of the best parties of the year, everybody goes all out.”

 

“Even you?” Alex questions, nudging Tobin’s shoulder, “I do actually; it’s the one time of the year I actually don’t mind being made to dress like an idiot.”

 

“You mean you don’t mind all the other times?” Alex asks, a teasing nature in her voice as Tobin rolls her eyes, “You’re lucky we’re friends.” She grumbles before tilting her head to look at Alex. “It’s probably really late, we should head back before Christen sends a search party out for me.”

 

“Oh, does that happen a lot?”

 

“More than you’d think.” Tobin grins standing up and holding her hand out for Alex. Alex takes her hand and stands up, stretching. “I’m tired; if you ever think of dragging me out this late again, you’re going to be in so much trouble.”

 

“Noted, you could’ve said no though.” Tobin reminded her, “I guess I just like you, count yourself lucky.” Alex smiles as the pair head towards the gate. They fell silent as they walked back to Alex’s building, the forward yawning and figuring it must be at least 2 AM now, maybe later. “Night Morgan,”

 

“Goodnight Heath.” Alex smiled sleepily before entering the building, “Where have you been? I was getting worried.” Alex lifts her head up and nods at Julie in front of her, “Tobin dragged me out to play some soccer, but we lost track of time.”

 

“Tobin, ok,” Julie mumbled before taking two strides forward and bringing Alex into a hug, leaving the forward confused as she hugged her back. “I thought you’d gone to see Kelley, you did leave kind of abruptly – one minute you were in bed and then-”

 

“Trust me, that is so not where I would’ve gone.” Alex told her, “Can I go to bed now? I’m so tired,”

 

“Yeah,” Julie laughed softly, “Let’s go to bed; Syd and Moe have been out for hours.” Julie linked her arm through Alex’s as they walked upstairs, both sleepy and wanting their beds more than anything; but Alex was grateful to have the friends that she does. Julie walked into the apartment first; with Alex slowly following, due to her undeniable tiredness right now. She kicked her shoes off and left them by the door before wishing Julie a goodnight, as the defender walked into the kitchen to get a drink; Alex made her way into the bedroom and pulled back her covers, climbing into bed and burying her head into her pillow. Alex closed her eyes, but she wasn’t asleep; she heard Julie come into the room, shut the door and get into bed, and even for a while afterwards; Alex still couldn’t sleep due to the thoughts flurrying their way through her head. Once Alex did fall asleep, it felt as though she’d only been asleep for a matter of minutes when she heard Morgan bounding into the room yelling for Julie and her to wake up because they had to leave for a team breakfast in twenty minutes and Syd and Morgan woke up late, or something that sounded similar. Alex and Julie both simultaneously huffed, “I wish they’d remind us we have team stuff to do, the night before instead of twenty minutes before we have to leave.”

 

“I agree,” Alex replied sleepily, hauling herself from the bed and stumbling to her closet, she was too tired to be getting out of bed at this time on a Sunday, she didn’t know what time it was, but she knew it was too early. “YOU TWO BETTER BE QUICK; WE NEED TO BEAT THE DEFENSE, PRESS’ ORDERS.” Sydney yelled from somewhere in the apartment, both Julie and Alex exchanged an amused expression. “Sometimes I forget Press is in charge of the forfeits,”

 

“I wonder what she’s going to do,”

 

“I guarantee it’s something that’ll piss Ash off.”

 

“That could be anything.” Alex laughed as she laid out her clothes on the bed. “I never realized Christen was such a badass.” Alex mumbled half-heartedly, “Oh god yes; don’t worry, it shocked us all the first time.” Julie chuckled as she headed to the bathroom. Alex walked over and picked her phone up, her messages were blank; she dropped her shoulders before searching through her messages and hovered over Kelley’s name; she wondered whether the defender would show up to breakfast.

 

“HURRY UP OR PRESS IS GONNA KILL ‘YA.” Emily yelled waving over the four girls ambling across the parking lot to the restaurant. Morgan ran ahead, Syd asked if Allie was inside and once she had her answer; Syd was also racing ahead wanting nothing more than to be reunited with the blonde midfielder. Julie linked her arm with Alex’s as they continued to walk at the same pace to the waffle house, “Are you ok?” Julie asked allowing her hand to rub over Alex’s arm carefully. “Yeah,” Alex breathed out, “I feel good.” She smiled at the defender as she leant into Julie’s side as they entered the restaurant and took up their usual seats. “I didn’t think you’d get out of bed.” Tobin commented, not meeting Alex’s eyes as she stared at Christen, “I’ll have you know, Syd left me with no choice.” Alex quipped winking at her roommate and watching as Tobin smiled before turning fully to face her. “You look awful.” Tobin laughed, before Christen slapped her arm, “Don’t say that; you’re the worst.” Christen reprimanded her girlfriend. “How are you Alex?” She asked, softening up her tone for her strike partner. “I’m ok, how’s Kelley?”

 

“A monumental asshole.” Tobin muttered under her breath receiving confused glances from both forwards. “She’s good, better than she was last night.” Christen answered, forcing a smile onto her face. “You gonna lecture us today Cap?” Syd questioned, watching Becky take a seat at the head of the table. Ali and Ashlyn walked in with Meghan and Whitney following, “Nice of you four to join us.” Sam smirked, pointing to Christen. “The floor is yours Press.”

 

“You guys suck so badly.” Meghan huffed, leaning over to pull on Morgan’s ponytail to piss her off. “Lay it on us Pressy.”

 

“Sit down, Cheney and I will be back.” Christen and Lauren stood up and headed off to get the forfeit. “We know you guys plan this, you know?” Ali rolled her eyes, pulling the beanie off Emily’s head, “Damn it, they know our secret.” Sam mumbled, turning around and smiling widely at Ali. “Love ya Kriegs.” Ali just rolled her eyes again as Lauren and Christen returned carrying two glasses of water each and placed them in front of the four empty chairs, a smirk on the forward’s face as the defense took their seats. “You’re making us drink water, what a hard task.” Ashlyn muttered, “Not so fast Harris,” Christen stopped her, “You’re drinking the water yes; but from the opposite side of the glass.”

 

“We’re what?” Meghan asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “Hold the glass Kling.” Christen remarked, folding her arms as Meghan held the glass up, “drink from the side furthest from your mouth; all of you.” Christen told them, smiling before moving to sit back down beside Tobin. Everybody else watched in undeniable amusement as more water ended up in their laps than in their mouths. “You’re diabolical, you know that Press?”

 

“I grew up with two sisters, of course I am.” Christen answered back with a shrug, Tobin’s hands in her lap as she played with her girlfriend’s fingers. “Can we order breakfast now, before I eat Mewy.”

 

“Eat Moe, she’s closer.”

 

“You’re ginger and lanky, I’d eat you.”

 

“Can we stop talking about cannibalism?” Allie huffed, “Oh somebody’s pissed off; who hurt ‘ya Long?”

 

“Life,” Allie whined letting herself fall onto Syd. “Why is everybody so depressed? It’s only October…” Meghan trailed off. Becky stood up, “really, all of us are depressed enough and now you’re going to talk?” Syd mumbled out the question, and if Becky heard it she didn’t mention it. “Arizona on Thursday; I’m guessing everybody knows the roommates by now, and flight details – remember, if you’re late you’re not playing, right?” Becky asked, the question directed to Emily and Morgan. “IT WAS HER.” The pair pointed at each other, “I don’t care – where’s Kelley?” Becky asked looking to the empty chair beside Alex. “She’s not coming; she refused to get out of bed.” Tobin answered, balancing a straw on top of a bottle of syrup. Becky nodded, “Oh ok, anyway – oh who cares, Paul will tell you this during training.” Becky gave up and sat back down. “She didn’t want to come?” Alex asked quietly, Tobin and Christen looked at each other and shrugged. “It’s nothing, she was just really tired.” Tobin offered Alex a smile, but Alex didn’t believe it for a second. Julie caught the way Alex’s demeanor changed and moved from her seat beside Alyssa and walked around to sit in Kelley’s usual seat. “It’s probably nothing,” JJ tried to reassure her, Alex nodded but just ended up sighing. Breakfast was eaten and the players went their separate ways.

 

~

 

Days passed, and Wednesday hit. The team had been tiptoeing around Kelley for days, scared to do or say anything that might piss off the defender further. Kelley had fallen back into her previous habit of deliberately turning up for training twenty minutes late, and not giving a damn if she was made to run laps instead of train. Alex was passing a ball between Ali and Emily when she caught sight of Kelley running her sixteenth lap, the defender stopping for a brief second and looking up; her eyes met Alex’s and the forward felt her heart wrench at the look of unprecedented anger in Kelley’s eyes before she started jogging again, brushing the forward’s glance off as though it was nothing. Paul blew the whistle and called the team over, Kelley stopping and walking over to Christen who draped her arm over Kelley’s shoulders and whispered something in her ear that had her nodding and smiling a small smile. Paul announced the team for the first game against Arizona State; “I can’t believe Kelley doesn’t train for days and still gets the start over me,” Meghan muttered to Morgan who shrugged, “We all know she’s Paul’s favorite player.” Morgan answered back. Alex clenched her fists, even though she shouldn’t care about comments like that, the hold that Kelley has on her is too much and it’s not like Kelley has to prove to anyone she belongs in the starting eleven. “How about you two shut up?! Maybe if you weren’t so lazy with the ball you’d be starting!” The words had left Alex’s lips before she could even stop them, the bewildered look on Morgan’s face and the raised eyebrows from Meghan had Alex biting the inside of her cheek, “You’re insulting me? New kid’s got a voice.” Meghan laughed bitterly, “You don’t get to be pissed off all week and then take it out on us.” Meghan continued, and Alex nodded. “I-I’m sorry,” she mumbled feebly before turning on her heel and walking away from the field, heading down to the locker room. She walked in and sat down on the bench, pulling a bottle of water from her bag and launching it against the opposite wall.

 

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?” Becky’s voice boomed through the locker room as she entered, Kelley following behind her, rolling her eyes with her arms folded. “Scrap that, I don’t give a fuck what’s wrong with you two but there’s a bigger picture here – like the team.” Kelley sat down on the bench and pulled her shirt up to her chin, eyes flicking over to Alex who was curled up, avoiding any and all eye contact with both of them as she tried to steady her breathing. “We leave for Arizona tomorrow and I’m not going to stand for both of you acting like children because you had some stupid fight, now you’re going to stay in here and sort it out.”

 

“We’re not children Rebecca, you can’t lock us in here until we kiss and make up.” Kelley growled, the emphasis on bitterness of the word ‘kiss’ seemed to be embedded in Alex’s brain of late. “I can Kelley and I will; sort it out.” Becky chided before turning and leaving the locker room, slamming the door shut behind her. “Unbelievable.” Kelley muttered, leaning forward to rest her arms on her knees as she glanced over to Alex who still hadn’t lifted her head. Alex felt her bottom lip quivering as she knew she would have to say something sooner or later or Kelley’s going to ignore Becky’s words and leave the locker room whilst leaving the cause of the tension unresolved. “Are you going to speak, it’s not like you to not have something to say.” Kelley’s voice was full of sass and a slight chance of hurt, “I’m sorry.” Alex sighed, digging her nails into her knee to try and focus her attention on the pain she was trying to cause herself rather than the way Kelley’s words were undoubtedly going to make her feel. Kelley scoffed, “You’re saying sorry? Is that supposed to help?”

 

“No,” Alex was quick to shake her head, “It’s not supposed to help, nothing is; you’re not going to let anything help this situation.” Alex grumbled lifting her head and staring straight ahead at Kelley. “You’re just going to carry this on; make me feel bad for as long as possible.”

 

“That’s rich,” Kelley shook her head, “You brought this on.”

 

“How many fucking times?!” Alex asked, standing up and feeling the anger instantly rush to her head. “We promised, we talked about it, we agreed it was the best idea. It doesn’t mean I didn’t want to kiss you!” Alex stopped, watching Kelley’s reaction as a flash of hurt appeared on her face but as quickly as it appeared it had disappeared and replaced with the stern expression she’d been wearing for days. “Tell me Kelley; just tell me what to do.” Alex pleaded, her voice a lot softer as Kelley sighed, her anger also beginning to fade. “I just-” Kelley turned to look at Alex, “I just want you to kiss me again, and mean it.” Alex took three large strides before she was directly in front of Kelley and pulling the defender to her, smashing their lips together in the messiest of kisses, hitting teeth and Alex poking Kelley’s side to stop the defender laughing. “Not the kiss I imagined in the movies but not bad,” Kelley commented as she leant back. “Says the girl who started laughing,” Alex argued, raising her left eyebrow. “Shut up and kiss me Morgan.” Kelley smirked before pulling Alex back to her by the waist and connecting their lips in a softer kiss.

 

“Are you two kissing and making up yet – OH SHIT YOU ARE; ASH YOU OWE ME.” Emily yelled letting the locker room door shut as the pair heard her retreating footsteps. Alex backed away and started laughing, feeling her cheeks heat up as she backed up until she was sitting on the bench again; Kelley quickly following and throwing herself down on Alex’s lap, the forward wrapping her arms around her. “You know this changes nothing right? We haven’t exactly solved anything.”

 

“I liked it better when you weren’t talking,” Kelley mumbled letting her head drop on Alex’s shoulder. “I know you do, I prefer it too; we have to talk about it eventually.”

 

“We’re roommates in Arizona, we’ll talk then.”

 

“You’re going to make out with me, don’t lie O’Hara.” Alex smirked, “I don’t hear you complaining.”

 

“I’m not, trust me.” Alex smiled, Kelley leant down to press her lips to Alex’s once more before the team came filing in; some still wary until they saw how close the pair were again, with Kelley making no effort to move from Alex’s lap. “Thank god you two aren’t fighting anymore,”

 

“Yeah thanks guys,” Ashlyn grumbled, “I owe Sonnett money now.”

 

“Stop betting on us.” Alex and Kelley replied at the same time.

 

Sitting the airport, waiting for the mid-morning flight to Arizona; most of the players were either on the verge of falling asleep, drinking coffee or so engrossed in their phones that they were unaware of their surroundings. Alex and Kelley were a mixture of both, Alex was sat in the chair opposite Christen and Tobin with a coffee from Starbucks in her hand as Kelley was curled in her lap, her phone in her hand as she tried to keep herself awake. “This is what happens when you decide playing FIFA until 5 AM was a good idea.” Alex laughed softly, running her free hand up and down Kelley’s back, “k-keep doing that, “Kelley yawned, nuzzling her face further into Alex’s neck. “You fall asleep and I’m not afraid to stand up and let you fall to the floor when our flight is called.”

 

“Is that any way to treat your favorite person?” Kelley asked, softly kissing Alex’s neck. “I would never drop JJ, what are you on about?”

 

“You’re ridiculous.” Kelley laughed, bringing a smile to Alex’s lips. “On the plus side, even though JJ’s hot as fuck; I don’t want to kiss her.”

 

“She is hot,” Kelley murmured in agreement, both girls looking over to Julie who was on Facetime to Zach with Syd who was definitely asking about cute guys. “You’re not hot though,” Kelley whispered to Alex, “I’m offended Kelley.” Alex poked the defender’s leg. “I was going to say you’re beautiful but if that’s the way you’re playing,” Kelley teased leaning down to kiss behind Alex’s ear, knowing that’s something to get her flustered; Alex tensed up, “I hate you.” She muttered, bringing the cup to her lips and taking a sip. “You drink weird coffee, it’s so bitter; coffee needs like eight sugars.”

 

“You’re just like my sister; she basically has a cup of sugar with a little coffee added for color.” Alex rolled her eyes, “That’s how it should be; sweet, like me.” Kelley grinned goofily, “Kell, a lot of words come to mind when I think of you but sweet isn’t one of them.”

 

“What does come to mind when you think of me?” Kelley asked, her voice teasing as she let her breath hit Alex’s neck, the forward closing her eyes and basking in the scent of peppermint. “I suppose you’re hot,” Alex shrugged nonchalantly, “You’re also pedantic, overdramatic, and an idiot.”

 

“Babe, that’s the nicest thing anybody’s ever said about me.” Kelley laughed, her fingers hovering over her heart. “Wait, what does pedantic mean?”

 

“You’re kidding me?” Alex narrowed her eyes, “Yes, I just like the annoyed look on your face; it’s hot.”

 

“Can you two stop being gross for a minute and listen up,” Becky spoke from behind causing Kelley to jerk forward and for the coffee in Alex’s hand to nearly go flying. “Rebecca, you have to stop doing that.” Kelley huffed, Becky shrugged before addressing the team. “Arizona is going to be so good.” Kelley smirked causing Alex to roll her eyes, even though she knew Kelley was right in every sense of the word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know if i like this chapter but i can only rewrite it so many times; i also found an old story i wrote about emily and kelley, good times tbh anyway; come yell at me over on tumblr; redstarspress


	13. My Mom Likes You

Alex had noticed something, flying with the team was not one of her favorite things in life; between Meghan and Emily yelling and disturbing everyone and being scolded in return, Ashlyn and Tobin sitting across from each other, their voices gradually rising as they talk and argue about surfing, before making plans, and the players who are sleeping are snoring; by the time the plane landed in Arizona and Alex was walking through the airport, she was pissed off and just wanted to sleep, although with the smirk that hadn’t left Kelley’s lips since the flight took off; Alex had a feeling that she’d have to put off sleep for a while longer. Kelley stumbled sleepily through the airport, her hand fumbling to find Alex’s, pulling it out her pocket and intertwining their fingers. “I’m tired, hotel and nap?” Kelley suggested and Alex found herself nodding before she’d even finished talking. “Sounds good,” Alex mumbled tightening her grip on Kelley’s hand. Finding bags was stressful, the ride to the hotel was too loud, and everyone felt the same; all wanting to just relax and not think about their early evening training session. “I swear if you’re late-”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Kelley cut Becky off with a smile, “Alex will make sure I’m there; won’t you?” Kelley asked turning her head; Alex looked up from her phone and nodded – hoping that’s the answer she wanted. Becky was seemingly dissatisfied, although she was smiling and rolling her eyes as she ran ahead to catch up to Paul calling her name. “What am I supposed to be doing?” Alex asked slipping her phone into her pocket as followed Kelley, “Making sure I’m on time for training,” Kelley yawned, “Hurry up, I want to sleep.” Kelley took Alex’s hand and dragged her to grab their bags before running ahead to find out their rooms. “Kell seriously, I can’t run whilst carrying my bags.” Alex whined chasing after her. Kelley slowed and waited until she was handed both hers and Alex’s room keys before heading to the elevator and sighing in relief when it shut before any of their teammates noticed. Kelley stepped closer to Alex, wrapping her arms around the forward; “I’m sorry,” she mumbled sleepily into the material of Alex’s sweatshirt. “What did you do now?” Alex asked warily, moving her hand to brush through Kelley’s hair. “For what happened on Saturday and everything else, I don’t like you being mad at me.”

 

“I wasn’t mad at you.” Alex shook her head before realizing Kelley couldn’t see her through her closed eyes, “I was mad at you; I shouldn’t have been, you were right.” Kelley’s voice was becoming harder to understand the more tired she became. The elevator doors opened and the pair dragged their stuff down to their room, Kelley opening the door and leaving her bags by the door before kicking her shoes off and climbing into bed. Alex let her bag fall to the floor as the door shut, “Don’t even think about it Alex.” Kelley told her, “Can you just not be you for a few hours and come sleep with me?”

 

“But my stuff-”

 

“A few hours.” Kelley repeated, and Alex made the mistake of turning to look at Kelley and how cozy she looked under the covers. Alex looked between her bags and Kelley once more before sighing and nodding, she kicked off her own shoes before shedding her sweatshirt knowing she was definitely going to overheat, she climbed onto the bed and lay on the side so that her back was pressed against the wall. She pulled the covers over her before watching Kelley who was struggling to keep her eyes open, “Stop staring at me,” Kelley mumbled; a small smile threatening to appear on her lips as Alex rolled her eyes and turned so that she was lying on her back and staring at the ceiling as Kelley pulled Alex’s arm up and wrapped it around herself. “Are you sure you’re not still mad at me?” Kelley’s voice was small, insecure if you must and Alex found herself sighing. She wasn’t mad per say, but she knew she would be honestly lying to herself if she said she wasn’t feeling different about everything; Alex knew she wasn’t able to describe how she was feeling over the entire situation in words and she didn’t want to try for the possibility of upsetting the freckled girl further. “I’m not mad at you Kell; but you know we have to talk about things.”

 

“I know; I’m not going to stop you, but can we have this conversation when we’re more awake?” Kelley wondered, moving her hand across Alex’s stomach to take hold of her hand as she curled up even further into Alex’s side, Alex nodded. “Of course we can Kell,” the forward mumbled softly as she turned to leave a gentle kiss on Kelley’s forehead before closing her eyes, hoping sleep would come easily, but who was she actually kidding? Alex forced herself to sleep, she forced herself to keep her eyes closed in the hope that sleep would finally come but after twenty minutes of silently hoping and listening to Kelley’s breathing even out, twice – Alex had all but given up completely on sleeping before training. Opening her eyes, she blinked a few times before her eyes adjusted to the light again, carefully reaching to pull her phone out of her pocket as not to disturb the girl lying beside her. She furrowed her eyebrows at the text from her mom;

 

We have a surprise for you Lex! Good luck tomorrow, love mom and dad. – Momma

 

Alex’s thumb ghosted over the screen as she debated replying and asking what the surprise was; she should be used to this by now, her parents have always taken her soccer career so seriously, for a long time when she was younger – her parents were more into it than her, with Alex leaning towards not wanting to play soccer for a professional living after college, even after high school but once she hit sixteen and realized that soccer was in fact what she wanted to do; her parents were more than just on hand with their unrelenting support for their youngest daughter as she battled through her first three years of college soccer, and the injuries and heartbreak that come with it. Alex will admit she hit the jackpot with her parents; they could’ve just as easily dashed her hopes and dreams to one day to be a senior national team regular call-up but instead they were always reminding her that her time would come, to not give up, to work as hard as she could for the things she wanted.

 

If it’s another watch party I’m gonna roll my eyes so much that they’re gonna roll back into my head. – Alex

 

Alex laughed slightly at the message; she did love her over-the-top parents at times. She looked at the time, she had an hour and a half before they had to meet for training, and Alex knew by now that she wasn’t going to get to sleep so she decided to leave Kelley asleep and proceed in unpacking her stuff, or at least the important stuff. She carefully and very slowly hauled herself out from under the covers and slid off the bed before brushing her hair out of her face and grabbing her training bag; that’s the most important stuff, right? She lifted the bag onto the other bed, knowing that this bed will probably stay empty for the duration of their time here. She began looking through it, this was the fourth time she’d checked her bag today, she was always worried she’d forget something important, like her cleats for example – although it wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened. Her phone vibrated on the bed beside her bag, and Alex picked it up before smiling at the reply to her message.

 

Alex I’ve told you, one day you’re going to say that and your eyes are going to roll back into your head. Trust your mom. – Momma

 

I do trust you mom, I’m still gonna say it though. – Alex

 

Alex felt arms wrap around her from behind. “You said you’d sleep,” Kelley murmured into her back, Alex locked and dropped her phone back onto the bed. “I tried, I couldn’t sleep.” Alex shrugged as she turned around and smiled at Kelley. “You could’ve stayed asleep; we don’t have to leave for a while yet.”

 

“The bed was cold and you weren’t there.” Kelley yawned, her voice still laced with sleep. “Although now I can think of something more fun to do,”

 

Alex rolled her eyes, but didn’t respond and Kelley sighed. “Or we could talk about what’s going on…” She trailed off, much less enthusiastic about that option. “I know you don’t want to talk about it Kell, so I won’t force you.” Alex offered her a smile before loosening herself from Kelley’s grip, grabbing her phone and heading over to sit on the other bed again. Alex was scrolling through her social media when Kelley climbed on the bed and sat so that she was essentially straddling Alex. “You ok there?” Alex asked, glancing up to look at the defender before refocusing her attention on Rachel’s latest Instagram post. Kelley leant over so that her forehead was resting against Alex’s. “Hi,” she breathed out slowly, Alex scrunched her nose up at the distinct scent of peppermint, “You’re pretty.” Kelley smiled closing the gap and capturing Alex’s lips in her own. Alex melted into the kiss as she dropped her phone onto her lap and brought her hands up to rest on the back of Kelley’s neck, playing with the loose hairs that had fallen out of her bun. Kelley nipped Alex’s bottom lip effectively being the reason that Alex’s lips parted, Kelley let her hand rest on Alex’s hipbone, where her shirt had ridden up for a matter of seconds before Alex started laughing and dropped her head. “What?” Kelley questioned her, lifting her head back up so they were looking at each other. “I’m ticklish,” Alex blushed but her expression quickly changed once she saw the mischievous glimmer in Kelley’s eyes. “No, Kell I will kill you.” Alex’s words fell on deaf ears as Alex scrambled to get off the bed before Kelley could grab her; Alex was quick but Kelley was quicker and within seconds the defender had Alex pinned to the bed, a smirk on her face as she started mercilessly tickling Alex’s sides causing the forward to fall into a fit of laughter. “Y-You’re – the – worst.” Alex spoke between laughs as she tried to catch her breath and stop Kelley’s hands. Once Alex had finally stopped Kelley, her lips were parted and she was breathing heavily. “God, I really hate you.”

 

“No you don’t,” Kelley mumbled before leaning down and connecting their lips once more. “I’m pretty sure I do.” Alex insisted once she leant back. “Pass me my phone,” Alex held her hand out and Kelley sighed exasperatedly. “I can’t believe you stopped kissing me for your phone.”

 

“I love my phone more than you.” Alex quipped as Kelley dropped her phone into her hand; Alex leant up and kissed Kelley. “Thanks babe,” Alex unlocked her phone and opened the group chat from some of her old teammates at Cal; she was scrolling through the conversation. “Why are you still in a group chat with them?” Kelley asked, looking over Alex’s shoulder as she pressed a gentle kiss to Alex’s neck. “They’re still my friends Kell.”

 

“Still, what if you give away all our secrets to success?”

 

“What secrets?” Alex teased, nudging Kelley and turning around. “Funny Alex,” Kelley rolled her eyes, “You know we’re a better team than you guys ever were.”

 

“Again with lack of modesty,” Alex smiled leaning into Kelley as she locked her phone. “I’m tired now,” Alex yawned and Kelley laughed. “Seriously? Let’s sleep for a bit, I’ll set my alarm this time.” Alex just nodded and crawled under the covers, Kelley set her alarm for twenty minutes before they had to leave and got under the covers herself whilst pulling Alex to her, although the forward was already asleep by time Kelley looked down. The defender left a kiss on her forehead before closing her eyes, the pair of them basking in each other’s warmth as they slept.

 

~

 

Kelley and Alex did wake up, not on the first alarm though, but on the third leaving them with five minutes to get ready for training and hop-footing it downstairs with seconds to spare. “I’m going to assume you two are breathless from running,” Meghan was the first to acknowledge them. “What else would it be Kling?” Kelley asked, swinging back and forth on her heels whilst smirking. “Told ‘ya we’d be here on time Captain.” Kelley saluted Becky who just rolled her eyes, glancing up momentarily from her conversation with Julie. “You know it’s a shame you’re not playing tomorrow.” Kelley mumbled into Alex’s shoulder as she wrapped her arms around her waist. “And why’s that?” Alex questioned her, “You’d score more than Syd.”

 

“I heard that O’Hara,”

 

“She’s got a point Syd.” Morgan shrugged but instantly backed down at the ice-cold glare that the striker sent her. “Ignore her Syd; we all know Kell’s just trying to stay on Alex’s good side.” Sam laughed, eyeing the pair of them. “Shut up,” Kelley grumbled tightening her grip on Alex as the team headed out to the bus. Alex was walking down the aisle when Kelley pulled her down into the seat beside her, “You know; you need to stop assuming I’m going to sit with you,” Alex surmised, adjusting her position so that she was sitting on the seat properly. “Oh please, JJ’s sat with Becky and you love me.”

 

“Debatable as of now.” Alex replied matter-of-factly. “Stop lying, I’m your favorite person on this planet.”

 

“How many times, I like JJ more than you.”

 

“THAT’S TRUE.” Julie yelled from a few rows behind, bringing a smile to Alex’s face as Kelley rolled her eyes. “I LIKE YOU TOO ALEX.” Alex turned to Kelley and gave her a told you so look. Kelley just shrugged and brought Alex’s hands into her lap and started playing with her fingers. “You’re pretty.”

 

“You told me that before you idiot.” Alex grinned, nudging her shoulder. “I feel like I have to repeat it because you don’t know how hot you are.” Kelley added, holding Alex’s hand as the forward blushed bright red. “Damn you,” Alex muttered as she leant into Kelley’s side. The bus ride to the field was quick and painless and the majority of the team stood and watched as Morgan and Emily raced to the field, rolling their eyes but somewhat concerned when Sonnett managed to trip up over the ground and fall flat on her front. “Shit Sonnett; you good?” Meghan asked, running over with Sam and Morgan who was heading back. Emily sat up and noticed the blood running down her leg, “Oh that is gross.” Morgan shuddered instantly backing off. “You’ve dislocated your shoulder before and now you’re scared of a little blood?” Sam asked an amused expression on her face. “It’s so red and gross.”

 

“How are you a college student when the best adjectives you can come up with are red and gross?” Sam laughed, leaning down to put her hand on Emily’s shoulder as one of the trainers ran over to take over helping Emily. Paul was standing off to the side observing the situation, “You’re such an idiot Sonnett!” Syd yelled from in the midst of the team. “Why would you even challenge her to a race, you know how clumsy you are.”

 

“I’m hurt, stop telling me off.” Emily huffed standing up and walking into the stadium to get her leg cleaned up. Kelley took Alex’s hand in her own as the team headed out to the field, “I hope we’re on opposite teams,” Kelley whispered before nipping at Alex’s ear causing the forward’s cheeks to heat up as she playfully shoved Kelley away, “What? So you can play dirty again?”

 

“You act like I play dirty all the time, although I never once said I’d play fair.” Kelley smirked before leaning up and letting her lips linger on the spot behind Alex’s ear. “That’s my point,” Alex responded, pushing Kelley away before she turned around and kissed her. The team walked onto the field; Tobin immediately snatching a ball from the bag and juggling it, Christen stood beside her rolling her eyes as Tobin sent the ball looping through the air as it hit Alex and Kelley where their shoulders were touching and laughing at the offended reaction of her two friends. “Dude, what the fuck?” Kelley grumbled, flicking the ball up and launching it at the midfielder who let out a strangled scream as the ball caught her on the arm. “Can you two not be children for five minutes?” Becky’s voice came from behind them, “I know it’s hard for you Kell.” Becky grinned ruffling her defensive partner’s hair. “Just because you’re the captain, it doesn’t mean you’re any better. You make Syd run like forty laps because you can.”

 

“Syd loves me,” Becky chimed, “No I don’t, what’cha talking about Broon.” Syd appeared at the captain’s side, “You literally make me do the one thing I hate.”

 

“You’re worse than Ash saying she’s a keeper because there’s no running involved.” Becky rolled her eyes again, a common habit for the blonde when surrounded by her teammates. “WARM UPS.” Paul’s voice traveled through the stadium, “Fun’s over,” Kelley pouted as the team all began their warm ups. Alex jogged ahead of Kelley, starting up a conversation with Julie. “Have you and Kelley talked yet?” Julie asked, looking around to make sure nobody else was paying attention to their conversation. “We didn’t exactly-”

 

“You two made out again, right?” Julie raised her eyebrows, although her tone wasn’t as condescending as Alex expected it to be. “It’s just so hard to talk; every time I try to I freeze up because I have no idea what to say or I keep putting off talking about it.”

 

“Why are you putting it off though?” Julie asked with a bewildered expression on her face. Alex didn’t have an answer, and so she just shrugged and fell quiet. Why didn’t she have an answer? “When I figure it out I’ll tell you,” Alex shrugged. Julie looks once more at her before she calls Christen and runs ahead, not so subtly bumping Tobin out of the way. Alex looked over her shoulder and smiled at Kelley gesturing wildly as she told Morgan a story, Kelley caught Alex’s gaze and winked at her before shoving Morgan whilst laughing.

 

“I’m gonna kick your ass.” Alex whispered into Kelley’s ear as the team preferred for a twenty minute scrimmage to end the training session. “Are you actually going to be successful this time?” Kelley challenged, turning around to smirk at the forward. “Tell you what; if you stop me scoring you can do whatever you want.” Alex raised her eyebrows as Kelley swallowed thickly, “A-Anything?” Alex nodded and leant forward, until her lips were all but touching Kelley’s. “Anything you want babe,” Alex smirked pecking her lips quickly before she was running towards the sideline yelling Tobin’s name. Kelley was flat-footed as she just watched Alex’s figure. “You doing good KO? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost…” Whitney laughed walking up behind her. Kelley quickly nodded, “Uh, yeah; I just realized I need to defend for my life.” Whitney gave Kelley a confused glance but didn’t question her, putting it down to her O’Hara genes. The scrimmage started and Kelley was quick up the line to stick as tightly as she could to Alex, the forward knew this was coming. Kelley rest her hand on Alex’s waist as Cheney sent the ball low to her left foot. Alex controlled it, and was just about to turn Kelley and go racing down the flank when Kelley yanked her back, flooring her in the process. Alex looked up at Kelley, “What the fu-?”

 

“I never said I’d play nice, I’m winning this whatever way I can Morgan.” Kelley smirked before jogging away from her, Alex scrambled to her feet whilst shaking her head in disbelief. If Kelley wants to play dirty, Alex was more than happy to oblige. Although, Alex would now have to do it a goal down, with Sam just scoring. “YES MEWY,” Alex could hear Emily yell as the blonde ran the full length of the field to hug her buddy. Kelley smirked as she walked back, brushing past Alex. “Does the bet count if we win?” Kelley asked, her fingers curling around the hem of Alex’s training shirt, Alex felt the heat rising up her neck. “N-No, just If I don’t score.”

 

“It’s a shame; I have a lot of ideas floating around my mind right now.” Kelley purred, “You did mean it, right? Anything?”

 

“That’s what I said.” Alex nodded affirmatively, “Good.” Kelley kissed the corner of Alex’s mouth before Tobin yelled and sent the ball out wide to Ali. Kelley grinned and went back to marking Alex again. Kelley was stuck so tightly to Alex that the only shot that she could get off went so far wide it went out for a throw-in. “It’s a shame you don’t defend this well during actual games.” Alex huffed out, Kelley laughed and hugged her from behind. “Babe, if I wasn’t so cocky that would actually somewhat offend me.”

 

“You’re like the worst person to try and put off.” Alex deadpanned turning around as the shot from Amy flew high and over the goal. “I know; sucks doesn’t it?”

 

“Shut up Kelley.” Alex muttered as she tried to escape her and receive the pass from Cheney, but Kelley stuck her foot through Alex’s legs and kicked the ball in Emily’s general direction. “You’re running out of time,” Kelley sang in Alex’s ear before the forward was pushing her away. Alex stopped for a moment before an idea struck her and she jogged over to Syd and asked to switch sides so Whitney would be doing the majority of defending against her. Kelley laughed; she really thinks that’s going to solve all the problems. Kelley defended loosely against Syd as Cheney sent the ball from practically deep in the defense to Alex and before Kelley had time to think it through she was racing across the field and tackling Alex as she brought the ball down. Kelley went right through the back of the forward sending her down roughly as she hit the field, screaming out as she clutched her ankle. Kelley froze up, the team froze up as they looked between Kelley and Alex, and before she knew it; Kelley was kneeling down beside Alex, her hand on her side as she mumbled out her name but Alex’s eyes were screwed shut as she slammed her fist down against the pitch. “Kell what the fuck was that?!” Tobin shouted at her harshly but Kelley just shook her head. “Alex, I’m sorry,” Kelley mumbled out feebly as Christen and Syd surrounded her, Christen holding her hand as the trainers ran over, and Becky was pulling Kelley away but her eyes were fixed on Alex. “Kelley, what the hell was that?” Becky questioned her, her arm still on Kelley’s as the defender shook her head and closed her eyes. “I-I don’t know, I had a rush of adrenaline?” Kelley’s voice wasn’t filled with confidence. “I didn’t want to hurt her.”

 

“It’s a training game, why would you even tackle her?”

 

Because we made a bet,

 

“I fucked up ok?! Let me go and see her,” Kelley tried to pull out of Becky’s grip but the captain was stronger and held her back as Alex was helped to her feet, Christen talking to her before kissing her forehead. “That’s not a good idea right now kid,” Becky loosened her grip but Kelley’s eyes followed Alex as she sat on the sideline, eyes screwed shut as she bit down hard on her bottom lip, to the point where Kelley was sure she’d drawn blood. Kelley let her shoulders drop, what the fuck was she actually thinking?

 

The scrimmage ended quicker than Paul wanted it to, choosing to go over and talk to Alex to see how she was. Kelley was stood on the opposite side of the pitch, watching intently; Alex hadn’t even stood up yet, “What the actual fuck were you thinking?” Tobin appeared at her side, Christen at her other. “Tobin.” Christen chided, “No Chris,” Tobin shook her head. “Why would you slide tackle your own teammate?!”

 

“I DON’T KNOW.” Kelley shouted at the top of her voice, walking away from Tobin. Christen shook her head at her girlfriend, “I told you to let me handle it you idiot.” Christen then turned and ran after Kelley, reaching out to grab her hand and turn her around. “Oh Kell,” Christen sighed as she noticed the tears in her best friend’s eyes. “I fucked up Chris,” Kelley choked on a sob as Christen brought her into a hug. “It’s going to be ok,” Christen rubbed her back as Kelley cried into her shoulder. “I – didn’t want to hurt her.”

 

“How you feeling bud?” Morgan asked, throwing herself down to sit next to Alex with Julie doing the same on her opposite side. “What do you think?” Alex bit back, wincing at a sharp shooting pain in the back of her ankle.

 

“I can’t believe Kelley took you out, if you weren’t in pain I’d laugh.” Morgan smiled, nudging Alex’s shoulder. “Thanks, I think…” Alex trailed off but as soon as looked at Morgan she started smiling too. Alex let her eyes fall on Kelley who was stood in Christen’s arms, her body shook with sobs but Alex didn’t feel anything, she was angry, so fucking angry at Kelley for this. “So, what did the trainer’s say, you good or?”

 

“It’s going to swell up; they don’t know how bad it is yet.”

 

“So you’re definitely out for tomorrow?” Julie asked and Alex nodded solemnly, “I wasn’t even playing anyway.”

 

“Now you’re not even going to be our super sub.” Morgan pouted letting her head fall on the forward’s shoulders. “Sorry Moe, you’ll just have to cheer Syd on.”

 

“Yeah,” Morgan scoffed, “When she puts a shot wide from literally on the goal line.” Alex and Julie laughed. JJ and Morgan helped Alex stand as the forward limped across field and out to the bus, Alex clambered on clumsily and saw Kelley stood up leaning over the seat in front looking at her, but Alex just hobbled down the aisle and fell into the window seat with Julie beside her. Kelley sighed and sat down on her own, her eyes fixed on her hands in her lap. Her cheeks were red and her eyes still stung with the tears in the corner of her eyes, all because she wanted to win a stupid bet.

 

~

 

Alex was the last one of the bus, “You want to come hang with us; most of us are going to be in the chill out room as Kling calls it.” Julie offered and Alex was quick to nod, “Sounds good; help me walk?” Julie nodded and hooked Alex’s arm around her shoulders as she slowly led her into the hotel and straight to the room. Alex collapsed onto the black leather couch and let her legs rest across it, her shoes on the floor beside her. “Hey Morgan; how’d you feel?” Tobin asked walking in and making a b-line for her. “I’m fucking dandy; what’d you think?”

 

“I’m going to pretend like you’re not being a grumpy bitch because you’re injured.” Tobin smirked and sat down on the floor in front of the couch. “Sorry,” Alex mumbled but Tobin was shaking her head. “Don’t apologize dude, Kelley was out of order; what made her so mad anyway?”

 

“She wasn’t mad,” Alex sighed, “She was determined.” Alex caught Tobin’s confused look and explained further. “I made a bet that if she stopped me scoring during the scrimmage she could do whatever she wanted, and she took it too literally I guess?”

 

“Still, out of fucking order. You can’t put a tackle like that down to her spastic O’Hara genes, she looked pissed.”

 

Alex shrugged and let the conversation drop. “I TOTALLY FUCKING WON THAT,” Meghan yelled at the top of her lungs pointing her finger accusingly at Julie who was smirking at her. “You suck at pool, don’t yell because you’re making a scene loser.” JJ grinned widely as she challenged Morgan to a game, Meghan huffed and sent Julie a glare, to which the blonde flipped her off. Alex’s phone vibrated in her lap and she looked down, smiling at her mom’s contact but frowning immediately at the message;

 

We were going to keep it a secret but I’m too excited and your dad let me tell you, we’re traveling to the game to watch you play tomorrow! We can’t wait to see you baby. – Momma

 

“Alex, what’s up?” Tobin asked noticing the sad expression on her face.

 

You don’t have to come mom, I got injured in training and I’m not playing. – Alex

 

A reply was immediate,

 

Baby I’m so sorry, are you ok? You know we don’t mind if you don’t play we just want to see you, we’ve missed you. – Momma

 

It’s my ankle again, I don’t know when I’ll play but I can’t wait to see you and dad, I’ve missed you guys! – Alex

 

Kelley appeared at the door of the room, “Alex,” the name sounded foreign against Kelley’s tongue but she knew it was because she knew Alex would be pissed at her. “Can we talk?” She asked nervously wringing her hands together, Tobin looked up at Alex expectantly and she just nodded slowly, carefully moving herself off the couch; stumbling slightly as she put weight down on her ankle. “Mind that,” Alex said to Tobin as she dropped her phone into the midfielder’s lap. Alex limped out of the room and followed Kelley through the hotel, she had no idea where she was going but she hoped she’d get there soon because she couldn’t hop any longer. Kelley pushed open a door that led to a small garden at the back of the hotel, the defender sat on the nearest bench and Alex sat beside her; the distance between them was unfamiliar and felt wrong but Alex couldn’t sit any closer to her. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

 

“You ran across field to kick the shit out of me, but as long as you didn’t mean to hurt me; right?” Alex’s response was harsh and it pulled at Kelley’s heartstrings even though she knew Alex had every right in the damn world to be angry at her. “You did this over a stupid bet, damnit Kelley why would you do that?!”

 

“I just wanted to win,”

 

“It was a fucking bet. I didn’t think you’d take it so seriously, you know my parents were coming out to watch the game tomorrow, to see me play for Stanford in person for the first time?!” Alex’s voice rose with every word, and every word was that bit raspier. Kelley shook her head, guilt eating at her even more now that she knew about her parents. “Alex please, I didn’t mean it. I’m really sorry.” Kelley turned to look into Alex’s eyes; they were cold, harsh as they bore into her own. Alex scoffed, “I could be out for like three weeks you know?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Kelley mumbled leaning forward and putting her head in her hands. Alex just rolled her eyes and stood up, she hobbled back into the hotel wordlessly leaving Kelley to stare at her until she was out of sight. Alex made her way to the elevator and got up to her floor, she dug around her pockets until she found her key card but she carried on down the hall until she reached JJ’s room and knocked on the door. A few seconds later, Whitney opened and smiled at her. “Hey Alex; what’s up? How’s your ankle?”

 

“It hurts but I’ll live; can I ask you a favor?”

 

Ten minutes later, Whit was in Alex’s room and Alex was lying on the bed previously occupied by Whitney with her head buried in the pillows as she fought back sleep, she wanted to wait for JJ to get back to the room to explain why she was in here and thankfully for the forward it took a couple of minutes more before Julie was walking into the room. “Hey Whit I totally kicked Kling’s – Alex, what are you doing here? Where’s Whit?”

 

“I asked to switch rooms for the night; I’m still pretty pissed at Kelley. Is that ok?” Alex asked, she’d go back to her own room if she had to. “Of course it is, you know I love sharing a room with you.” Julie grinned widely as she made her way over to Alex’s bed and threw herself down beside her friend. “I love being roommates with you,” Julie mumbled as she wrapped her arms around Alex. “So, movie?”

 

“Of course,” Alex smiled feeling slightly more awake. It took Alex fifteen minutes to fall asleep with Stick It playing on the TV. Julie chuckled softly and climbed off the bed, she pulled the covers over Alex and kissed the side of her head. “Sweet dreams Al,” Julie made her way across to her own bed, pulling out her phone to Facetime Zach; quietly of course.

 

“YO IT’S TIME FOR DINNER.” Tobin yelled through the door, knocking twice as Alex stirred before opening her eyes to find JJ sitting on the edge of her bed pulling on a pair of Nike’s. “Hey, how’d you sleep?” Julie asked as Alex pushed the covers off her. “Good I think, I feel a bit better.”

 

“I’m glad,” Julie smiled as Alex sat up, wincing at the pain in her ankle. She looked down, “Shit Alex; we need to get some ice on that.” Alex looked down at her ankle and felt ill at the sight of the swelling and the yellow bruise starting to form. “I’ll go and grab some, you want to go downstairs and I’ll meet you?” Julie asked heading to the door, “Yeah; thanks JJ.” Julie left the room and Alex pulled one of her shoes on, before standing up and hobbling to the door, making sure she had the room key before slowly making her way downstairs. Alex had made it to the door when Julie walked up to her holding a bag of ice, “Come on.” Alex used Julie to lean on as they made it to the table with Becky, Whit, Ashlyn and Ali. Julie knelt down and positioned Alex’s foot comfortably against the ice, looking at her apologetically when she flinched at the coldness. “Damn Alex, that looks painful.” Ash pulled a face at her ankle. “It is, it hurts like a bitch.” Alex grumbled. Alex told JJ what she wanted to eat, and Julie went to get it for her before grabbing her own dinner. “Thank you, you’re the best.” Alex smiled as JJ sat down beside her, Alex leant over to kiss her cheek. Alex looked to the door where Kelley was walking in, dragging her feet across the carpet behind Christen, Kelley looked over to Alex and for a split second caught the forward’s eyes before Alex was turning and laughing at something Ashlyn said. “Don’t worry, she’s not going to stay mad at you forever.” Christen reminded Kelley as they joined Tobin, Morgan, Meghan, Emily and Sam. Dinner was largely uneventful, except for Ashlyn trying to be cool and lean back in her chair as she checked Ali out and falling backwards and hitting the floor. “You’re an idiot,” Ali’s voice was filled with so much fondness though.

 

“I’m so amped for this game tomorrow,” Ashlyn grinned running ahead through the hallway as she wrapped her arms around Whitney, “You’re gonna get a goal, right buddy?”

 

Ali just rolled her eyes as she hung back with Alex and Julie. “How can you roll your eyes but still look completely in love with her?” Julie asked, “If Zach acts like an idiot I literally want to kill him.”

 

“She’s in love,” Alex sang nudging Ali’s arm. “It’s cute, you two are endgame.”

 

“I think so too, I never thought I’d meet my soulmate in a locker room at Stanford.” Ali chuckled softly as she stopped outside her room. “Uh Ash, we’re in here babe.” Ashlyn turned around and looked up, “Oh shit yeah, night Whit.” Ashlyn hugged her before saying goodnight to JJ and Alex before following Ali into their room. “Let’s get you back to bed, you need to rest your ankle.”

 

“Yes mom,” Alex teased, but she was definitely grateful for Julie taking care of her.

 

Alex woke up that next morning and sighed; game day sucks when she’s not playing. “Morning sunshine, how’d you feel?” Julie asked walking over to the bed and pushing a cup of coffee into Alex’s hands. “Thanks, I feel good. My ankle doesn’t hurt as much, how are you? It sucks that you’re on the bench.” Alex took a sip of coffee, “I don’t mind; Whit and Becky are going to boss the defense as usual.” Julie grinned, Alex admired her positivity, it was one of her favorite things about the defender. “Get dressed and we’ll head to breakfast.” Julie smiled at her before standing up, “Oh; are you still mad at Kelley?”

 

“Not so much,” Alex responded. “I feel bad for being a bitch.”

 

“She kicked the shit out of you, I think it was justified Al.” Julie laughed, “Still; I should probably talk to her. I don’t need her taking her anger out on some poor Arizona freshman.”

 

“That poor freshman won’t know what’s hit her if Kelley gets her,” Julie laughed as Alex pulled herself out of bed and finished her coffee before she grabbed some clothes for the day. She quickly headed to the bathroom to get ready, well as quickly as she could as she balanced on one leg. After limping out of the bathroom, “You need crutches you know, you can’t just limp everywhere.” Julie commented as she held the door open for the forward. “I’m going to go and see the trainer’s before breakfast anyway.”

 

“I’ll meet you down there,” Julie nodded as they took the elevator down, both going in opposite directions. Alex headed off to find one of the trainer’s and she was in luck. “Morning Alex, how’s the ankle?”

 

“Better, I was just wondering; I really can’t walk on it that well-”

 

“Would these help?” Alex nodded quickly holding out her hands for the crutches, she leant against them, “Let’s take a look at your ankle,”

 

Five minutes later and with a couple of stumbles, Alex headed into breakfast, “You look like Bambi on ice,” Tobin laughed as Alex nearly fell again. “I feel like it Tobs.” Alex mumbled but smiled at her buddy nonetheless. Alex stopped in the middle of the room, scanning the tables for Kelley. “She’s in her room, she said give her fifteen minutes; I’d suggest going up.” Tobin offered, figuring that’s who Alex was looking for. “Thanks,” Alex gave her a smile before turning around and heading to the elevator, pushing the button; she leant against the left crutch, not realizing that it wasn’t completely flat in the ground and she fell sideways hitting the floor, “Oh you have to be fucking kidding me?” Alex huffed, looking around to make sure she was alone and no one had witnessed the embarrassing moment. She pulled herself up and limped into the elevator pushing the button. She leant back against the wall, her teeth grazing her bottom lip as she figured out what she was going to say to Kelley. The doors opened and Alex was about to walk out when she looked up and Kelley was stood in front of her, not looking at her but at the crutches, “I’m sorry Alex,” the doors were about to shut when Alex threw one of the crutches in the way, Kelley stepped into the elevator. “Stop apologizing Kell, I’m not mad anymore.”

 

“You’re not?” Kelley asked, looking unsure as the doors shut again and Alex hit the ground floor. “No, I figured there was no point, even though you fucked my ankle up.”

 

“I really didn’t mean it,” Kelley mumbled; her voice small as she scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. “I know, but that is seriously the last time I ever make a bet with you.” Alex laughed, eliciting a smile from Kelley. “Seriously Kell, we’re good. I promise.” Alex hobbled out of the elevator first, “Come here then,” Kelley pulled on one of the crutches as Alex followed her around to a corner, almost adjacent to the dining room. “I missed you last night, Whit’s one of my favorite people but-”

 

“If you’re going to kiss me, just do it.” Alex cut her off and Kelley wasted no time in cupping Alex’s cheeks and kissing her. “Be my roommate again?” Kelley mumbled against Alex’s lips. Alex pulled away and nodded, “Of course,” she kissed her again before they headed into the dining hall. They joined up with Tobin, Christen, Julie, Emily, Sam, Morgan and Meghan. “Just admit it Moe; you totally have a crush on me,” Meghan wiggled her eyebrows as she stretched her arm over the back of Morgan’s chair. “In your dreams Klingenberg. If I’m going to date any of you, I’d date JJ or Alex.” Morgan grinned stealing a piece of toast from Meghan’s plate. “What about dating me?” Alex asked, letting her crutches fall to the floor as she sat down in the middle chair between JJ and the one Kelley had sat in. “I’d date you or JJ if I had to, you’re both hot.”

 

“So I’m not hot enough for you? One; rude, and two; fuck you.” Meghan grumbled pulling the other half of her toast out of Morgan’s hand and munching on it in a frustrated manner. “Don’t beat yourself up Kling; Moe wouldn’t have a chance with either of them,” Tobin interjected, “HEY” Morgan yelled in a lame ass protest, “Oh please, you know I’m right.”

 

“How do you put up with her?” Morgan asked Christen who shrugged, “She’s ok; I’m not dating her for her lack of brain power anyway.” Christen smirked tapping against Tobin’s head.

 

~

 

Alex was sat in the locker room, groaning as she stared down at the boot for the sixth time in the past five minutes. “I swear I don’t need this dumbass thing,” Alex huffed as Kelley stopped dancing whatever top 40 track that was currently playing. “It’s not so bad, stop looking at it.” Kelley lifted Alex’s face up so that they were looking at each other. “Also, you can pull it off.” She smirked, “Not helping.”

 

“I’ll just ignore the blush on your cheeks then,” Kelley grinned before leaving her lips lingering on Alex’s cheek for a few seconds too long. “Shut up, go and dance; I liked that view.” It was Alex’s turn to smirk and for Kelley to blush before mumbling something along the lines of ‘gotta give the lady what she wants.’ And if Alex chose to record a minutes worth of footage, Kelley didn’t notice.

 

We’re in the stands, we’re so sad you’re not playing sweetheart but we can’t wait to see you after the game! – Momma

 

Attached was a picture of her mom and dad dressed head to toe in Stanford gear, Alex chuckled and shot back a text about how they’ll be hard to miss when she goes looking for them. “What’cha laughing at Morgan?” Kelley asked, sitting down beside her; Alex locked her phone and turned to look at Kelley. “You,”

 

“Rude,” Kelley scrunched her nose up and Alex just really wanted to kiss her. “You’re cute.”

 

“You’re pretty, like real pretty.” Kelley grinned, leaning forward to leave a kiss in the same spot she always does behind Alex’s ear. As kickoff approached both Paul and Becky gave a rousing pep talk to the team before Alex was walking, still badly but without the aid of crutches outside to the bench but not before turning to Kelley. “Go get ‘em tiger.”

 

“I always do,” Kelley winked at her causing Alex to roll her eyes before she turned around and walked out to the field and sat on the bench beside Julie. “Have you seen your parents yet?” Alex asked her, “Nope but I’m pretty sure they might be near yours; apparently they were talking about their superstar daughter whilst dressed head to toe in Cardinal red…” Julie spoke teasingly and Alex blushed. “Oh my god,” Julie wrapped Alex in a hug. “It’s cute; they’re so supportive of their little injured striker.”

 

“Shut up,” Alex whined pushing JJ away, who was still laughing. The teams entered the field, the anthem played and opening kickoff began.

 

The first fifteen minutes were mainly a battle in the midfield for possession, Cheney dispossessing Arizona State’s number 8 in the seventeenth minute and with a look up she sent the ball out to the flank where Kelley was racing to meet it, she did and skipped into the box before crossing the ball to the back post where Amy was there to head the ball in just past the keeper’s reach. 1-0.

 

23 minutes in and it was 2-0; Tobin sending a perfectly struck free kick into the top right corner, the keeper really had no chance. 43 minutes in and it was 3-0, Whitney rising highest from Cheney’s corner to head in the third just before halftime. The whistle blew and the teams started to head for their respected locker rooms; Alex waited on the sideline for Kelley to reach her, when they did they slung their arms around each other. “How come you never assist my goals?” Alex questioned her. “You can’t head a ball to save your life Lex,” Kelley chuckled as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Plus; if we did we’d be battling Press and Tobs for the best soccer couple on this team and I’ll feel bad when we crush them.” Kelley grinned up at Alex like a fool. “You’re unbelievable.” Alex rolled her eyes as they walked into the locker room.

 

The second half started in the same manner as the first; a short-lived battle in midfield before another Stanford goal; this time a penalty that Christen puts away with ease before she’s turning around and being collided into by Tobin. 4-0. Morgan adds a fifth late on, finishing a low cross into the penalty area from Ali. 5-0 is how it ends and the girls are in high spirits as the final whistle blows. Alex stands up, Julie beside her. “Parents?” JJ asks,

 

“Parents.” Alex confirms. Alex and Julie are heading in the general direction Julie was sure her parents were when arms wrapped around Alex’s waist from behind. “Didn’t think you were going to see your parents without me, did you?”

 

“Actually, yeah.” Alex smiled at her before pulling her around and into a hug. “You played well superstar, I’m proud of you.” Alex left a soft kiss against Kelley’s forehead as the three headed over to their parents, and as they got closer Alex realizes just how obvious and out of place her parents seemed in a crowd full of Arizona State fans. “Alex!” Pam was quick to rush to her daughter and bring her into a tight hug, “Hey mom, I missed you too.” Alex laughed hugging her just as tightly before hugging her dad. “Mom, dad; this is Alex.” Julie introduced you after she’d greeted them, “And you obviously remember KO.”

 

“Of course, it’s lovely to see you again Kelley.” Kristi smiled at the defender, “Alex; it’s lovely to meet you.” Kristi smiled at her and Alex quickly nodded in return. “Likewise,” Julie and Alex introduced their parents properly to each other as the three hung back. “I think they’re getting on well,” Julie commented. “I think so,” Alex laughed as she leant into Kelley who wrapped her arms around her. Alex didn’t miss the glance in her direction from her mom at her and Kelley; she just shrugged at her mom and mouthed talk to you later. They couldn’t have much time with their parents but they both agreed to meet up for the second game on Sunday, they hugged each girl before letting them head down to the locker room. “My mom likes you,” Alex smiled as she took hold of Kelley’s hand. “She barely spoke to me,”

 

“Trust me Kell; she likes you,”

 

Back at the hotel, back in their room, back to sharing a bed. Kelley was straddling Alex’s hips. “Missed. You.” Kelley kissed her between words. “You’ve told me that Kell,” Alex chuckled softly; reaching over to tuck some hair behind her ear. “I mean it, last night sucked so much.”

 

“I won’t do it again, but don’t take that as a promise, ok?” Alex told her, before she was pulling Kelley in for another kiss, and another, and another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come yell at me on tumblr for deleting this and completely changing it - redstarspress


	14. Scouts Honor And All That

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back and i know it seems like forever but finals and college has been killing me, also i rewrote this chapter 6 times and i finally like it, i hope you enjoy it!

Alex couldn’t seem catch a break.

 

The night before, just when Alex had finally figured out what to say to Kelley; the pair were dragged into Emily’s room to watch a movie, Kelley answering for the pair and Alex shrugging and going along as usual. Alex doesn’t even remember what movie was playing, she figured it was a Disney one by the way Emily and Morgan were dancing and their off-key singing was resonating through the hallway to the point where Alex expected angry guests to bang on the door and tell them to keep it down, Kelley was also too enthralled in the movie to give a damn about anything else and so Alex found herself studying the defender, watching closely every time she laughed or clenched her jaw at a certain part. In fact, letting her gaze stick on the brunette for the entirety of the movie night was the only reason Alex wasn’t losing her mind over the niggling feeling of the conversation in the back of her mind. Alex couldn’t talk to her after the movie because as soon as they got back to their room, Kelley had all but crashed for the night – only staying awake long enough to wave Alex over to the bed. The following morning was even worse; Kelley had woke up with an unwelcomed amount of energy and Alex couldn’t get her to stand still for five minutes to talk, instead hanging back and watching as she bounced inbetween their teammates, annoying them as much as possible at 8 AM. The two hour bus ride to Tempe for the second game seemed like a perfect opportunity for them to finally talk knowing the majority of their teammates would be keeping to themselves or be asleep; wrong. As soon as they’d gotten on the bus, Tobin had yanked Kelley down beside her and waved her phone at her where, asking her to watch the Arsenal vs Spurs game with her, and Kelley being Kelley was not going to pass up the opportunity. Julie noticed the pissed off expression on Alex’s face that she wasn’t trying to hide and followed her to the back of the bus to question her.

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

“Bullshit,” Julie called her out almost immediately. “I thought you were going to talk to her?”

 

“I was.” Alex muttered folding her arms. “I just can’t get a damn minute alone,” Alex let her head fall against the window. Julie turned her head when she heard Tobin and Kelley yelling at the phone situated between the pair as they argued over the offside decision. “Being mad about it isn’t going to help; don’t you have an assignment that’s due on Tuesday anyway? Do that.” Julie said to her, the sternness in her voice sending Alex back to sitting in the kitchen as a tired kid after soccer as her mom pressed on about how she needed to do her homework otherwise she wouldn’t get into college; Alex was eight by the way. “You got it _mom_.” Alex grinned as she reached down and pulled her notebook out of her backpack, “Good kid; your mom would be proud.” Julie left Alex to go back to her seat and Alex turned her attention to the essay on International Politics she was halfway through writing, and started to plan out the final couple of paragraphs; carefully and slowly writing out the words to make sure that they were in fact readable. In all honesty, Alex found this particular theory fun; she’d always loved international affairs and knew that even if she hadn’t spent so long planning it out, she’d ace it anyway.

 

“What’cha doing?”

 

Alex jumped and whipped her head up to find Kelley kneeling on the seat beside her, grinning widely at her. “Finalizing my plot to annihilate all of mankind.” Alex spoke seriously, sporting a stony faced expression. “As long as I’m not one of the ones you kill, you do you.”

 

Alex rolled her eyes, “Do you want something?” She tried to ask it as nicely as she could but now all she wanted was to finish the tiniest bit of planning she had left. “Its halftime and I wanted to see my favorite striker.”

 

“Aren’t you cute?” Alex chimed leaning forward and resting her forehead against Kelley’s. “When we arrive, can we – can we talk?” Alex can feel the nervousness at the back of her throat but Kelley just shrugs and nods. “Whatever you want Alex Morgan.” Kelley leaves a gentle kiss on Alex’s forehead before she’s heading back down to Tobin asking a bit too loudly whether the game has kicked off again, receiving a not so subtle star socked foot to the back from a half asleep Syd and a ‘you totally deserved that’ from a slightly more awake Allie. Kelley just turns around and smirks at the pair before sliding back into the seat beside Tobin and refocusing her attention on the midfielder’s phone. Alex turned her attention back to her notebook when her phone lit up beside her,

 

_Who would you save in a zombie apocalypse? Me or Tobin? – Defender Extraordinaire_

 

Alex blinks before rereading the text and realizes that Kelley is doing anything to stop her from doing her work, but that’s just the usual.

 

_I mean if I had to choose between saving you or Tobin in a zombie apocalypse I would have to save Tobin 100%, defenders are replaceable. – Favorite Forward_

 

Alex smiles as she sends it before letting her eyes fall over the last paragraph of notes she has for her conclusion. Twenty minutes later and Alex feels pretty proud of herself for finishing the planning knowing she only has to type up three more paragraphs in the actual assignment and it’s done. She was shuffling her notebook back into her bag when she felt a body next to hers, looking over her shoulder. “I thought you were watching the game?” Alex asked Kelley as she sat up properly, the notebook finally in her bag. “Tobin’s phone died, the dummy forgot the portable charger back home. Now I want to talk to you.”

 

“Nice to know I’m second in line to the Premier League,” Alex scoffed but the smirk was threatening to form as she shifted in her seat to swing her legs over Kelley’s lap. “I mean, have you seen Harry Kane? That man is-”

 

“I do not need to hear you go on about him _again_. I listened to a twenty minute monologue on him when they played Man City.” Alex reminded Kelley, thinking back to lying sleepily on the bed as Kelley continued to pace her bedroom and talk about how god-like his soccer was. Kelley smiled and leant into Alex’s side, “Please; you know you enjoyed my rant.” Alex hummed in response, “As long as I never have to hear it again, I’m good.” Kelley fell silent for a moment before remembering and poking Alex’s side, “You said we had to talk? Can we talk now?” Kelley asked her and Alex looked around the bus, truth be told the majority of their teammates had fallen asleep and surely talking about it sooner rather than later could only be a good thing but still Alex found herself hesitating, she opened her mouth to reply but snapped it shut just as quickly, “I’d rather not risk you taking it badly.” Alex replied with a shake of her head. “Take it bad- Lex what the fuck are you talking about?” Kelley furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she thought over the words. Alex offered Kelley a small smile before shaking her head, she instead pulled her phone out of her pocket, within minutes she had the game streaming on her phone and handed it to Kelley, she could feel the defender’s smile without seeing it as Kelley shuffled around until she was uncomfortably lying against Alex with the phone in her hand. Truth be told, Alex wasn’t watching the game; but she was watching Kelley (again), she loved the way she got animated during soccer, even just watching it, although yelling at Alex’s phone in a fit of rage during the second offside call that definitely wasn’t offside was far too loud for their teammates’ liking, and the offended shout from Tobin was met with Kelley flipping her off without removing her eyes from the phone. Alex was beginning to doze off, her head rattling against the window as the driver didn’t seem to feel sympathetic to the group of tired soccer players he was driving.

 

Arriving in Tempe; the weather was humid, and Paul was lecturing his team on the training session they had later that afternoon that was met with audible groans and half-hearted protests from his team that just wanted to sleep away the day. “Shut up Tobin.” Christen huffed, rolling her eyes at her girlfriend. “Why don’t you just admit it huh?” Eyes fell on the pair, wincing at Christen’s unusually angered state as Tobin looked around, probably scanning the area for Ashlyn so she could hide behind her. “You don’t even have an answer – you know what? I don’t even care.” Christen threw her arms up in exasperation as she walked ahead to Julie and grabbed the defender’s arm, tugging her towards the hotel as the team looked on in confusion before looking back at Tobin who shrugged sheepishly before swiping her bag from the floor and chasing after the pair. “I will bet you twenty dollars Tobin said something stupid.”

 

“I’m not betting you on that because we all know Tobin said something stupid.”

 

“I’m a poor college student; I’m going to bet on the obvious _Alexandra_.” Ashlyn mumbled, pouting at the defender who just rolled her eyes and pushed the keeper towards the door. Alex grabbed her own bag and slung it over her shoulder before draping herself over Kelley’s shoulders sleepily, “don’t be getting tired on me now Alex Morgan.” Kelley smiled at her spinning around, to take Alex’s hand in her own as they headed into the hotel, taking the room keys, the pair decided to take the stairs because they couldn’t deal with Ashlyn yelling and planning to play detective to figure out what happened between Christen and Tobin. “So,” Kelley started but quickly hesitated, “We’re definitely going to talk about this?”

 

“We need to.” Alex answered back with an affirmative nod, to which Kelley silently agreed. “That’s cool…” She trailed off before offering Alex what she deemed to be a reassuring smile, although Kelley remembers the last time she had this conversation with somebody and the less said about that, the better. Kelley let her hand fall from Alex’s as she started to fumble with the hem of her sweatshirt, letting her mind race at a mile a minute, on the one hand its Alex and this conversation cannot be any worse than the last time she had it, at least Alex likes girls. Opening the room door, Kelley walked in and dropped her bag on the bed beside the window, her hands shakily gripping the strap of her bag. Alex shut the door and observed Kelley, and her lack of attention. Dropping her own bag on the other bed, Alex studied her again for a few more seconds before calling her name as she sat on the edge of the bed. “Kell, turn around.” So she did, and Alex’s eyebrows furrowed at the nervous expression taking over her face, the way Kelley had her bottom lip between her teeth, how she was avoiding looking directly at Alex, the way her fingers were still twisting the bottom of her sweatshirt. “Why are you so nervous?”

 

“You know I always tell you I’ll tell you stuff about me later?” Kelley asked ignoring Alex’s question. The forward nodded, “I’m going to tell you something that you haven’t asked me but it’s important.” Alex pushed herself further back on the bed so that her back was up against the wall. Kelley sighed before padding over to the other bed and sitting cross-legged beside Alex, her own back against the wall. Kelley reached for Alex’s hand, holding it, intertwining their fingers as Kelley got her thoughts in order. Alex stayed silent, not wanting to interrupt at any point, she had a small feeling that she knew what Kelley was going to tell her but she also was naïve to whatever she could be told. “I um, I wasn’t like this – no wait that’s not it. I mean, back in high school – uh, that’s not, ugh.” Kelley stammered out nervously as she closed her eyes to gather her thoughts again, but still Alex stayed quiet and did her best to reassure the freckled girl in any way that she could, usually just rubbing her thumb over Kelley’s knuckles to try and soothe the defender. “The first girl I properly dated – wait, we didn’t even date, but anyway she was my best friend, we were fifteen and we were at her house whilst her parents were away and obviously, what are two fifteen year olds going to do when they’re alone? We drank; a lot.” Kelley laughed slightly at the memory of her younger self drunk off cheap vodka. “She was the first girl I ever kissed, I mean I knew by then I liked girls because I’d always liked girls but once it happened I _definitely_ knew I liked girls.” Alex was watching over her, just listening as Kelley hesitated and remembered the next thing she wanted to say. “W-We were like that for nearly a month, just sneaking off and making out where we knew we wouldn’t be found but eventually I got tired of it? The sneaking around, not her,” Kelley was quick to add the final part. “I talked to her about it, I told her we should date and that I liked her but she shot me down immediately and told me I was more of an experiment to see if she liked girls.”

 

Alex chose now to speak up, “Do you think that’s what I’m going to do to you because I’m not, I swear-” but Kelley smiling cut her off, “I never thought you’d do it to me, but you always want to know stuff about me and this is kind of relevant.”

 

“So, can we talk about it now?” Alex asked, and with a slight hesitation; Kelley nodded. “Ok, I mean you know what I’m going to say so-” Alex started but she was quickly cut off by Kelley’s phone ringing, the defender gave her a sheepish smile before hopping off the bed and rushing to answer her phone, “Erin I’ll call you back soon I promise,” Kelley rolled her eyes at whatever was said on the other line before ending the call. Alex was about to continue when someone knocked on the door. “Guys,” both Alex and Kelley rolled their eyes once they heard Tobin’s voice. “Ignore her,” Kelley urged, “So I mean, it’s obvious what’s happening between us and I know it can’t go on like this forever-”

 

“I can hear Alex, open the door!” Tobin knocked harder. Kelley huffed and made her way over to the door, pulling it open and glaring at Tobin. “We’re trying to talk, go and annoy Ash; she’s the one playing detective anyway.” Kelley told her, not waiting for a response before she was shutting the door on the midfielder. “You’re saying you want to date?” Kelley questioned Alex who was now sitting on the edge of the bed, anxiously pulling at the loose thread on her jeans, but before the forward had a chance to answer; Tobin was banging against the door again. “Guys I fucking swear-”

 

“What Tobin?” Kelley opened the door again, “You’ll do what?” The defender asked cocking her eyebrow at her friend. Tobin opened her mouth but no response came out at first, “I screwed up man.” She conceded, running a hand through her hair. Kelley chuckled softly and pulled her into the room, “We know that dude, that’s what we were counting on.” Tobin wordlessly followed Kelley into the room and sat on the bed by the window whilst Kelley rejoined Alex, both of them staring at the guilt-ridden midfielder who was deep in thought. “Spill it Heath; what could you have possibly said that pissed Press off?”

 

“It came out wrong,”

 

“What did?” Alex questioned her, narrowing her eyes at the fidgety girl in front of her. “I kind of told her I didn’t want to meet her parents.” Tobin spoke slowly, her voice laced with regret until Kelley waved her hand in the air. “Hang on Heath; you’ve met Press’ parents.”

 

“Not as her girlfriend,”

 

“What’s the difference, they love you.” Kelley pushed the subject further, “I was with you when we met with them; last time I checked they looked like they were seconds away from making you an honorary Press anyway.” Ignoring Kelley, Alex decided to ask her exactly what happened to make Christen angry, or at least frustrated. “She thinks I’m not serious about us anymore, because I don’t want to see them again.”

 

Kelley started laughing, “You really have pissed her off, and you’re in _so_ much trouble.”

 

Tobin groaned and put her head in her hands, “I know that guys. What do I do?” She asked, ignoring Kelley’s smug gaze and instead focusing on Alex who would definitely offer up reasonable advice. “Tobs you do the right thing, you apologize like any other idiot would when they said something stupid to their girlfriend.”

 

“She won’t even talk to me, Julie won’t let me into their room and I’m pretty sure I heard Christen tell me to fuck off.” Tobin mumbled and Kelley laughed again, taking pleasure in Tobin’s discomfort, like any good friend would of course. “Why don’t you want to meet them?” Alex asked her, choosing to ignore Kelley again. Tobin blushed and laughed anxiously as she twisted the ring on her finger “… Her dad scares me,” and those four words were all it took for Kelley to double over as she clutched her stomach from laughing too hard. “I – you’re – this is so funny – I can’t believe you’re scared of her dad.” Alex looked at Kelley and she was convinced the defender was about to throw up from laughing, she rolled her eyes before turning back to Tobin. “Make her talk to you. Tobin, listen,” Alex hit the Kelley’s thigh to shut her maniacal laughter off before climbing off the bed and sitting beside Tobin. “You can half-heartedly knock on their door and ask to talk to Christen or you can bang on the door and demand to talk to her until her and JJ are left with no option, don’t hide away and wait for it to blow over, trust me.” Tobin looked up at Alex before glancing over at Kelley who was nodding in agreement, and it didn’t take long for the midfielder to concede and agree as well. She stood up and awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck, “Ok; I can do this – uh, thanks guys.” Tobin quickly left the room, stumbling over the carpet as she did and as soon as the door was shut again, Kelley and Alex’s gaze both fell on each other again. Alex offered Kelley a small smile before standing up and shuffling over to her back to pull out a hoodie because despite the humidity outside, the hotel room they were in was the coldest thing Alex thinks she’s experienced in a while. Throwing the hoodie on, Alex didn’t have much time to react before Kelley had her hands on Alex’s hips and was pulling the forward into a rushed kiss, Kelley had balled up the material of Alex’s hoodie in her hands as she nipped Alex’s bottom lip, a short gasp escaping the forward’s lips as Kelley slid her tongue through Alex’s merely parted lips, Alex’s hands flew to Kelley’s cheeks and cupped them, she smiled when Kelley nudged her nose with her own before the ringing of Alex’s phone had the pair jumping apart, breathlessly looking at each other, loose strands of hair falling over their faces as Alex shakily pulled her phone out of her pocket, half grimacing; half smiling at the caller ID on the phone; Alex loved Hope, a lot but the kid had really bad timing. Sliding her thumb across the screen, “Hey Hope,” Alex tried to steady her voice and even out her breathing as quickly as she could, Hope snorted on the other line. “Did I catch you at a bad time?” And Alex is almost certain she can hear the smirk forming on the keeper’s lips. “I was running,” Alex shrugged nonchalantly. “What, your tongue across another’s girl’s lips?” Hope started laughing and Alex clenched her jaw, she hated how well Hope actually knew her. “Did you want anything in-particular?” Alex asked her, “No; I just wanted to talk to you, but you’re busy so I’m going to let you get back to your amorous activity but you owe me a call later.” Hope laughed and Alex rolled her eyes, “Yes, fine; you got it Solo.” After ending the call, Alex tossed her phone on the bed and looked at Kelley who had reverted back to her nervous state.

 

“Kelley,” Alex walked closer to her, “I want to-” Alex was cut off by Kelley’s phone ringing again and this time the forward didn’t try and hide her annoyance, not at Kelley but the amount of disturbances. Kelley groaned, “I swear nobody ever calls me,” She muttered out as she walked past Alex and picked her phone up from the bed, “No fucking chance.” Kelley hissed rejecting the call immediately and launching it at the perfectly plumped pillows at the head of the bed. “I can’t be dealing with them right now; I swear they only ever call me when they want something-”

 

“KELLEY.” Alex yelled, the defender quickly shutting up as her eyes widened. “Maybe this is a bad idea, maybe, I’m not sure-” Alex abruptly stopped as she desperately tried to gather her thoughts but in the nervous state she was, that was proving a harder task than she anticipated. “We’ve been in here for nearly forty-five minutes and we still haven’t talked, between Tobin screwing up and everyone choosing now to call us, it’s like somebody’s telling us that this conversation isn’t even worth having-”

 

“Alex shut up.” Kelley deadpanned, essentially cutting her off mid-rant. “I just want to date you,” Alex mumbled out feebly, dropping her head and letting out a heavy sigh. Kelley didn’t catch the words, and told Alex to repeat them. Alex’s head snapped upwards as she looked Kelley dead in the eye. “I want to date you.” Alex spoke as clearly as she could, and Kelley was convinced she felt her heart stop for a second, even though she knew that was the obvious end result, hearing the words fall from Alex’s lips were the equivalent to Kryptonite for the defender. Kelley tried to hide the smile threatening to form as she walked over to Alex, letting her right hand rest on Alex’s hip, “When we get back to Stanford.”

 

“What?”

 

“When we get back home, I’m going to take you on a real date.” Kelley smiled at her, and Alex furrowed her eyebrows. “Seriously?” She wondered and Kelley couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you questioning me Alex Morgan?”

 

“Kinda,” Alex shrugged. “We’re really going to do this?”

 

“Yes _dumbass_ , I’m going to take you on a date and we’ll go from there.” Kelley’s voice was laced with a thick sense of fondness as she intertwined her fingers with Alex’s. Alex was about to reply when someone knocked on the door again, and by someone, it was Tobin, again. Alex nodded towards the door and more enthusiastically than before the pair walked over to the door; Kelley pulling it open as Alex draped herself over Kelley from behind. “Yes?” They wondered simultaneously. “She still won’t talk to me, JJ told me she was on the phone with her mom and now I really don’t know what to do. Guys help.” Kelley looked over her shoulder at Alex, her eyes flickering with a hint of an idea formulating in the freckled girl’s brain, Alex watched closely before nodding – almost certain she was thinking the same as Kelley. “You owe us Heath, for saving your ass and your relationship.” Kelley muttered as Alex turned and swiped one of the room keys from the table before following the other two down the hallway. “Please don’t do anything stupid guys,” Tobin pleaded with them as Kelley and Alex stopped just before they headed left down towards Press and JJ’s room. “When have we ever done anything stupid?” Kelley asked, challenging Tobin (slightly). “I can’t speak for Morgan, but Kell you once smashed Cheney’s window, you ended up in hospital having to get stitches in junior year, what about that time you convinced Emily that she was being chased by a shark? Sonnett ended up with concussion for two weeks after she face planted my surfboard.” Kelley started laughing, “She was the one who believed it, not me.” She held her hands up in surrender, “My point stands, don’t screw this up.”

 

“You have little faith Heath.”

 

“I have good reason,” the older girl mumbled back before heading off in the opposite direction to go and find Cheney and ARod. Kelley turned to Alex, who was spinning the room key around her fingers, “So, what’s the plan?”

 

“I thought you had a plan?” Alex asked, quizzically. Kelley laughed nervously, “I don’t know? I guess we should talk to Press.”

 

“Thanks Captain Obvious, did it hurt thinking that one up?” Alex teased, adding an over-dramatic eye roll for effect. “Do you want me to take you on a date?” Kelley shot back but Alex just laughed, “Please; you’ll take me on a date anyway.” And Kelley was blushing, of course Alex was right. Alex pulled Kelley’s sleeve as the pair headed down to their room to talk to Christen. Alex knocked on the door and shuffling from inside the room came before JJ’s voice shouted through the door. “Tobin I fucking swear if it’s you again I will- oh sorry, hey guys.” Julie smiled as she opened the door. “Hey Jules; can we talk to Christen?” Alex asked and JJ nodded letting them in the room. “I’m going to find Alyssa for a bit, I’ll be back later.” She left and Kelley and Alex walked further into the room and smiled at Christen who was staring at the TV, rolling her eyes at the movie that was showing. “Hey Pressy,” Kelley grinned diving on the bed and curling into her best friend’s side. Alex sat at the end of the bed, turned half inwards so she was able to face Christen. “Did Tobin send you two?”

 

“No,” Alex and Kelley answered a little too quickly, Christen laughed bitterly. “I can’t believe her, why doesn’t she want to meet them? It’s not like they’re strangers because they like her-” Christen stopped talking when she caught the shared glance between the brunettes. “Tell me why she doesn’t want to meet them?” Christen asked, a stern tone to her voice. Alex and Kelley stared at each other, a staring contest to see who tells her, only because rock, paper, scissors would’ve taken too long. Alex bit down on her lip and Kelley blinked before internally cursing herself; Alex smiled smugly and shuffled down so that she was lying half on, half off the bed as Kelley mumbled out incoherently the reason. Christen stared her best friend down and Kelley sighed before repeating the words louder. “She’s scared of your dad,” Kelley honestly tried to say it with a straight face but even she couldn’t help chuckling at the absurdity of the reason, Alex quickly joining her. Christen hesitated as she mulled over the words before even she was laughing. “God, why is Tobin such an idiot?”

 

“Says the one who’s dating her.” Alex pointed out and Christen agreed, the striker standing up and brushing a hand through her hair. “So where’d she go?”

 

“Cheney and ARod,” Alex smiled at her.

 

~

 

Game day was always Alex’s favorite, even if for the next couple of games she had to play cheerleader to her teammates. “The red one goes better with the boot,” Kelley commented picking up the maroon colored hoodie and throwing it in Alex’s face. Alex held it in her arms before narrowing her eyes, “This isn’t even mine, is it?” She spun around clumsily, almost losing her balance as she looked at Kelley who was smirking at her. “It’s mine, you look better in my clothes anyway.”

 

“Is that why you steal all of mine? So I have no choice but to wear yours.” Alex let the realization hit her as Kelley tapped the side of her head. “You’re a clever one Alex Morgan.” Kelley smiled at her before continuing to get ready for the game. Alex threw the hoodie on before taking a seat on the bed, her phone vibrated beside her and with Kelley rushing around the room trying to find her left cleat; Alex’s eyes scanned over the message from her mom.

 

_Are you busy after the game? Your dad and I would love to take you out for dinner, we’ve missed you! You can bring a friend if you’d like. – Momma_

 

“FOUND IT.” Kelley shouted proudly, holding the cleat high in the air from where she was knelt down on the floor. Alex looked between the defender and the message, “Kell?” She coughed and suddenly the defender’s attention was on her, offering a hum in response as she threw the cleat in the bag with the rest of her stuff. “What are you doing after the game?”

 

“Nothing?” Kelley answered, unsure over whether that was the right answer or not. “Why?” She turned around and walked over so that she was standing in front of Alex. “My parents want me to go to dinner with them after the game, they said I could bring a friend and I need you to go,” Alex looked up at Kelley, who had her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why do you need me to go?”

 

“So they won’t spend the entire time asking me questions, _please_.”

 

Kelley thought it over for a moment, Alex’s thumbs hovering over the screen as she awaited Kelley’s decision. “I’ll go, I like your parents.” She answered with a shrug; Alex nodded as she was already typing out a reply to her mom, Alex could feel Kelley’s eyes on her and maybe that’s the reason why the forward somehow managed to misspell the word ‘great’ three times. Kelley lifted Alex’s head up and left a chaste kiss on her lips before standing back up straight, feeling smug at the light blush covering Alex’s cheeks. “What was that for?” Was all Alex could ask, Kelley shrugged as she swiped her sweatshirt from behind where Alex was sitting, “A player needs her good luck kiss.”

 

“You’re not even starting,” Alex reminded her as she stood up and tucked her phone away in her pocket. “Way to crush a girl’s dreams Morgan.” Kelley replied, feigning offence as she placed her hand over her heart. Alex just shrugged and walked towards the door, pulling it open and grinning Morgan and Meghan across the hall who were just leaving, Kelley walked out of the room, her hand hovering over her bag as she tried to remember if she had everything, well that’s at least what Alex thought she was doing. The four headed down the hallway, three turning right to head to the elevator, and Kelley absentmindedly turning left and not realizing until Meghan called her out. “Wrong way dumbass,” Kelley stopped, spun around and dragged her feet against the carpet to catch up with her friends. “Hold this,” Kelley said to Alex as she handed over her bag, leaving Alex with almost no choice but to actually hold it as the defender leapt onto Meghan’s back, taking the shorter girl by complete surprise as Meghan let out a strangled scream. “I hate you,”

 

“You already took my starting position; I should be the one hating you dude.” Kelley chuckled, wrapping her arms loosely around Meghan’s shoulders. The four took the elevator down and walked out to join the majority of their teammates standing outside the hotel, and Alex immediately ducked out of the flailing arm of Emily Sonnett to join Tobin and Christen, who since Tobin embarrassingly admitted she was scared of Christen’s dad, had been attached at the hip, with Christen proceeding to use any opportunity she could to tease her girlfriend about the entire situation, Tobin dreading the fact that she was never going to live it down. “So you two finally talked?” Julie asked, sliding up beside Alex and wrapping her roommate in a hug, “We did,” Alex nodded back; her gaze falling on Kelley who was calling out Emily on the bullshit story she was telling Morgan, Sam and Meghan. “We’re going to go on a proper date when we get back, and go from there.”

 

“You’re so happy, you’re practically glowing A-Morgs.”

 

“I hate that nickname,” Alex pouted but JJ just laughed and hugged the forward tighter. “I am happy though; I’m glad we finally talked. Even if Tobin nearly fucked the whole thing up…” Alex trailed off switching her gaze to the dazed midfielder who was looking puzzled, “What did I do now?”

 

“Nothing babe, you did nothing,” Christen reassured her but the smirk was obvious.

 

Walking into the stadium for the game against Arizona, Kelley was stuck to Alex’s side like glue; always needing a hand or an arm to be in touch with the forward and whilst Alex found the action quite endearing she was confused by the sudden need for permanent physical contact as opposed to Kelley usually just loosely intertwining their hands, following the team onto the field; Alex stopped at the sideline, Kelley who was completely out of it walking into the back of the forward. Alex turned and stood in front of Kelley, “Hey” she soothed brushing flyaways behind her ear. “Is everything ok?”

 

“Your parents definitely like me right? I know we’re not even dating yet but what if they hate me after tonight, how are you going to tell them we’re going to date?”

 

Alex furrowed her brow before laughing softly, “You’re worried about that? Kell, my parents think you’re sweet and after tonight they’re going to love you I’m sure.” Alex let her hand rest at the back of Kelley’s neck as the defender nodded, although the expression on her face still showed her worrying. “Kell, trust me. Scouts honor and all that.” Alex grinned; Kelley looked up and raised her eyebrow. “You were in the scouts?”

 

“For twenty minutes until I cried and begged my mom to come back from the parking lot and take me home,” Alex laughed remembering how her seven year old self sat in the corner and begged for her mom. “You’re the cutest person I’ve ever met,” Kelley mumbled before leaning forward and pressing her lips against Alex’s. “O’HARA I’M NOT GOING TO WAIT TO START THIS WARM UP ON YOUR TERMS.” Paul’s voice boomed across the field, Alex stepped aside as Kelley rolled her eyes and jogged over to join the rest of the team. Paul handed off the warm up to the other coaches and joined Alex on the sideline, for the majority of the time that both teams were out warming up and the stadium was beginning to fill up; Paul was talking with Alex, mainly about her ankle and how she’d be having a scan once they were back at Stanford, but the question was etched on Alex’s face; it was so obvious that Paul was answering it before the forward could ask. “How painful is it?” He asked, gesturing to Alex’s ankle. The forward shrugged, “It’s not as bad as it was.” She answered honestly, sure the pain flared up every now and then but it was nothing she couldn’t handle. “Are you worried you won’t be able to play the match against Berkeley?”

 

“That obvious?” Alex laughed, digging her hands into her hoodie pocket. “No, but I know how much revenge matches can mean for players, you’re not the first to transfer and be desperate to prove a point against their old team. It would’ve surprised me more if you didn’t think you had a point to prove.” Paul chuckled and even elicited a smile from Alex. “The scan will show us more, but if you feel good – I’ve only got minimal doubt that you’ll miss the game against Cal.” Alex nodded, feeling better about the situation, and turning around she smiled when she saw Kelley looking over in her direction with a focused expression on her face. “HARRIS, HEATH STOP GOOFING OFF.” Paul yelled at the pair who were using their girlfriends’ as human shields from the bottles of water they were squirting at each other.

 

Back in the locker room, the music was blaring and Syd was challenging everyone to try and take her title as the best dancer on the team, and Morgan really did try but the kid is far too lanky and when she dances it looks like she has ten too many limbs. Kelley ducked out of the ongoing dance battle taking over the middle of the room and let herself fall onto Alex’s lap. “So this date you’re taking me on-”

 

“No chance; it’s a surprise Alex Morgan.”

 

“Oh come on, Kell, you know I hate surprises.” Alex pouted and nudged the defender’s shoulder but Kelley was quick to shake her head. “You don’t hate them, you just choose not to enjoy them because you’re paranoid I’ll do something dumb.” Kelley remarked, eliciting a scoff from Alex. “I’ve seen your track record Kell. I have reason to be paranoid.”

 

“You have to stop believing everything Tobin says about me,” Kelley rolled her eyes playfully as she let her head fall on Alex’s shoulder. “So Cheney’s window?”

 

“That is true, but I was drunk and Sam dared me.”

 

“The stitches last year, what actually happened?” Alex wondered. “It was a slight mishap,” Kelley shrugged whilst twirling a piece of Alex’s hair around her index finger. “I fell out of a shopping cart and cut my head.”

 

“What the fuck?”

 

“It was Em’s fault,” Kelley accusingly pointed her finger at Emily who smiled over at the pair, completely obvious to the conversation in hand. “She pushed it too hard and it toppled over.”

 

~

 

The game had kicked off; Alex was sitting at the end of the bench with Kelley beside her, the defender loosely intertwining their hands as she focused on the game, to say the girls were confident would be an understatement; it’s not that they had big egos, well some of them do but with their recent record against Arizona; the chance of a loss was slim – which is how the team deflated when the home side took a shock lead in the 7th minute thanks to a bottom corner header from a corner kick. Becky yelled at Emily who in turn pointed the finger at Meghan who shrugged and seemed to be blaming Alyssa for not diverting it out of play. “This sucks,” Kelley mumbled leaning back against the bench as the defense finally managed to stop arguing with each other and focus their attention on the restart. Stanford were being played off the ball at every opportunity, the Arizona pressure was unrelenting and neither were the attempts on Alyssa’s goal; and with every hit the keeper took, the bench winced as Alyssa gradually took longer to get up every time. “They’re killing us.” Kelley muttered. 27th minute and less surprisingly the score was 2-0, the home side’s pressure had paid off. The girls looked dumbstruck at the fact they were 2-0 down, it’s the first time that had happened for nearly eighteen games; and the team looked completely lost as both Becky and Tobin tried to rally their teammates, the only response coming in the 39th minute when Christen hit the post from a shot from 25 yards out. The halftime whistle blew and the team headed down to the locker room in a tense silence, the sounds of heavy breathing and cleats tapping against the floor were the resonating sound until Paul cleared his throat, and after asking what the fuck that first half performance was, he tried to do his best to lift his players’ morale for the second half. “I can’t believe we’re gonna lose our unbeaten record to this group of losers,” Kelley rolled her eyes leaning forward, and Alex knew better than to reply. Kelley was pissed off and Alex was not planning on making it worse.

 

“Guys listen, we score the next goal and we’re in.” Becky reminded them, “2-0 is the most dangerous score in soccer, and everybody knows this. We’ve got this!” The captain’s voice rasped through the locker room, and unlike before the halfhearted murmurs of agreement were met with resounding cheers and yells of ‘we got this’. The team retook the field, with Sam going on to replace Moe who threw herself down on the bench beside Alex who was in the middle of her and Kelley. “I swear opposition players just love to kick you,” Alex laughed nudging her roommates’ shoulder. “Don’t, it’s like they all have it out for me.”

 

“Not just you,” Kelley pointed out; nodding over to Tobin who was down on the pitch slamming her fist against the turf as she clutched her ankle. “We’re doomed if Tobs’ is injured.” Alex murmured and Moe and Kelley were quick to nod in agreement. Lucky for the team, Tobin seemed able to continue although for the next ten minutes she moved slowly and gingerly and made a couple of short passes as she tried to ease the throbbing pain in her ankle. Three attempts in quick succession fell to the girls’ and all three opportunities were spurned; Sam put a shot way over the bar, Emily put a header wide and Christen missed what could be described as an open goal. “I’m starting to think this isn’t our day,” Morgan mumbled feebly; shifting so she was leaning up against Alex. “You’ve only just caught onto that Moe,” Alex laughed but the laugh was empty and to be honest, a little sad. Arizona added a third goal in the 78th minute and the game, if not already was won at 3-0, and the girls just couldn’t wait for the final whistle to be blown to end the quite humiliating defeat. Once it came, the bench was silent and in shock at the result – this was definitely bottom of the list of how they expected this game to go, “Hey, I’m going to go and find my parents; I’ll meet you out here?” Alex offered Kelley a small smile but the defender just grunted in response and walked onto the pitch to make a b-line for Tobin; Alex hesitated upon moving as she watched Kelley drape her arms around the midfielder as Tobin lazily let her body fall into that of her friend’s. Kelley was talking to her, the conversation completely one-sided as Tobin offered up a nod here and there at what the defender was saying to her. Just before they were headed down to the locker room, Kelley left a kiss on the top of Tobin’s head. Alex wrung her hands together and Paul nodded at her before heading down to talk to the team, Alex’s mind snapped back to her parents, she called her mom and asked where they were, and after following her directions; she smiled when her parents came into view. She slipped her phone into her pocket and wrapped herself in her mom’s arms, sighing as Pam ran her hand through her daughter’s hair. “That was a tough match to watch,”

 

Alex scoffed, “Yeah, tell me about it.” Alex hugged her dad as Pam asked about Kelley’s whereabouts. “She won’t be long, I think.” Alex mumbled, “How is your ankle kid?” Mike asked gently tapping the boot with the toe of his shoe. “Fine, I have to have a scan once we get back home but Paul seems to think I’ll be able to play against Cal.”

 

“Show them what they’re missing?” Mike asked, laughing when he saw the competitive nature flash through his daughter’s eyes. “Of course dad, you know me.”

 

“You really are your father’s daughter,” Pam spoke with an eye roll; although her voice was laced with fondness over how close the two still were, even with their youngest being away at college. Alex talked to her mom, but diverted the conversation away from relationships and classes for the time being at least; Alex knew she was going to have to answer questions about it later, and she definitely chose later. Kelley came into view fifteen minutes later, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt with her still damp hair cascading over her left shoulder. Alex shifted her position slightly at how effortlessly beautiful Kelley always looked, especially to her. The defender reached the family and Alex laughed before walking forward and gently pulling a piece of tape that had stuck onto a few strands of hair, “I told you to stop getting dressed near Tobin; she just throws it anywhere.” Kelley smiled up at her, both forgetting they were in the company of Pam and Mike momentarily until the older woman cleared her throat and Kelley greeted them,

 

“It’s Pam and Mike, don’t worry about being formal around us. It’s like you’re family already.” And there was a twinkle in Pam’s eye that Alex caught, and in that moment she realized that her mom had known all along, her dad on the other hand was clueless, but he’d find out eventually and probably accidentally. “Your dad and I found a nice Italian place not far from here, stop lagging behind you two,” Pam hurried the two girls up, Kelley instinctively reached for Alex’s hand but Alex was hesitant on taking it. “I’m pretty sure your mom knows and I am taking you on a date in a few days, so hold my damn hand Morgan.” Kelley stuck her hand out again and Alex complied, intertwining their fingers as though it was the most normal thing on the planet, which for them, it was starting to become that.

 

Sitting in the restaurant; Kelley and Alex beside each other opposite Pam and Mike. “How are classes going?” Pam asked, directing her gaze to her daughter who immediately shrunk.

 

Alex avoided her mother’s gaze for as long as she could, “Alex,” her mom’s voice had a slight hint of accusation in it, “Technically I’m not failing.” Alex shrugged. “It was a couple of D-‘s” Alex winced when she saw her mom suck in a sharp breath. “What did I tell you about slacking off? It’s your senior year-”

 

“I know, I’ll try harder. Please change the subject. Interrogate Kell,” Alex sent a smirk to the defender who just rolled her eyes, and Pam wasted no time. “So Kelley; tell us about yourself, where are you from?”

 

Kelley continued to answer some basic questions, until Pam asked about her family and Kelley tensed up, she was as stiff as a board as she glanced over to Alex. The forward instantly reached for Kelley’s hand and laced their fingers together, a gentle reminder that she didn’t have to answer anything she didn’t want to; Alex watched Kelley and she was almost certain she could see the defender’s mind working a mile a minute as she thought about whether she actually wanted to answer the question. In all honesty, Kelley didn’t want to seem rude and she thought by declining to answer the question, even if she did so politely (which she would anyway), she didn’t want Pam and Mike to pity her for assuming she had a shitty home life, which she did but hardly anybody even knows about that. Kelley coughed slightly and decided to be mature, she still loved her family, just strongly disliked them. Kelley smiled and proceeded to talk about her family with unprecedented grace and happiness, even throwing in a few childhood memories that had the three Morgan’s laughing heartily at the O’Hara family. Alex was surprised, she knew that it was all an act and by the way Kelley’s jaw was clenched throughout, she could tell she hadn’t talked about her family openly for a while, and whatever had happened was so far from being unresolved. Alex dropped her head, whilst Pam and Mike were still engaged in the story Kelley was telling them over one of Jerry’s soccer games back when they were younger. Alex used her free hand to trace a pattern into Kelley’s jeans, she knew the fake laughter was hurting her and she wanted to remind her that Alex was there, that the forward was always going to be there. Once Kelley had finished her story, ending the current conversation over her family; “Alex, you fell quiet; are you feeling ok?” Mike asked, Alex nodded but didn’t lift her head so Kelley did that for her. The two girls looked into each other’s eyes for seconds; “I’m ok,” Kelley mouthed to her, Alex was unconvinced and Kelley just wanted to kiss her to prove her point but figured it was probably a bad idea. Alex eventually smiled at her parents to reassure them she was fine, and that it was just her ankle playing up that was the reason for her quietness.

 

“So girls; any romantic interests?” Mike took over the questioning and Pam nodded in approval of her husband’s question.

 

Kelley and Alex turned away, both desperately trying to hide the blush on their cheeks. “Who is the girl Alex?” Pam questioned, “It’s uh – it’s nobody, I’m blushing because I’m hot.” Alex knew it was a weak lie, she knew her parents wouldn’t believe it for a second but she hoped they were dumb enough to, just this time at least. “Alex darling, we might be old but we’re not stupid.”

 

Alex turned to look at Kelley who was smiling at her in the way that made the forward’s heart soar, the way Kelley would smile so widely that she’d scrunch her nose up and Alex found it the sweetest thing, it was so endearing. Alex sighed and looked over at her parents. “You’ll meet her one day, and I know you’re going to love her.”

 

“Good, I never liked that Hannah; what an awful girl.” Pam shook her head; Alex grimaced at the mention of her ex girlfriend. “I know you will have learnt from that, and I’m sure your next girlfriend will be someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.” Pam continued and Alex smiled widely. “Mom, you have _no_ idea.” Alex mumbled feeling Kelley’s smile radiating around her. The food arrived, and Alex was thankful for the questions to cease for a while. Inbetween courses, Kelley had practically pulled Alex to the bathroom, in fact she hadn’t given the forward any choice and as soon as the door shut; Kelley had a handful of Alex’s hoodie in her hands and was kissing her with such force that even Alex couldn’t escape the soft groan that escaped her lips. “You know,” Kelley chuckled pulling away for a mere second. “If this next girlfriend you’re talking about isn’t me I will be so disappointed.”

 

“You better make sure this date is the best date I’ve ever been on then,” Alex shrugged, smirking at the freckled girl. Kelley narrowed her eyes at Alex, “Is that a challenge?”

 

“Do you want it to be?” Alex asked, humming as she let her fingers dance along Kelley’s exposed collarbone from her sweatshirt being too big for her. “I mean, the last time you challenged me to something, I did this.” Kelley laughed slightly as she nudged the boot on Alex’s foot. Alex rolled her eyes, “Unless you plan on breaking one of my bones during the date, I think you’re good babe.”

 

Kelley looked at Alex like she had the fucking stars in her eyes; Kelley knew she was falling for the girl in front of her and that should scare her, that should fucking terrify her but watching the way Alex is smiling at her, like they’re the only two people who mattered in the world had Kelley experiencing a feeling she hadn’t felt in so long and it was everything the defender wanted and more. Alex noticed the way Kelley seemed to be drifting out of the conversation and linked her hand with hers. “Come on, we can’t be giving my parents the wrong idea.”

 

“I wouldn’t mind that…” Kelley trailed off and despite walking behind Alex, she was sure she could see the forward rolling her eyes. “You’re lucky you’re cute O’Hara.”

 

“So you admit I’m cute?”

 

“Shut up,” Alex grumbled but she felt the heat rising to her cheeks nonetheless. They retook their seats at the table and avoided her parents’ knowing smirks and curious eyes. Alex moved her chair closer to Kelley’s as they listened to Pam talk about what Jeni and Jeri had been getting up to in the last few weeks, as if Alex didn’t text her sisters at least once a day, in response to them checking up on her of course. “So Alex, is this girl someone on the team?” Pam raised her eyebrows and Alex groaned before dropping her head onto her arms. “Oh my god mom, leave it alone.” She whined, not wanting to revert back to this particular topic of conversation. Kelley laughed and leaned over, letting her hand rest against Alex’s thigh. The defender’s subtle reminder that she was there, that she was always going to be there and Alex could not have been more grateful, even if her mom was persistent on finding out who her ‘secret but not so secret’ crush was – much to Kelley’s amusement of course, and Alex’s internal frustration as she angrily munched on a breadstick to avoid answering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me on tumblr: beckysauerbrunns
> 
> feed my ego, kudos & comments are welcomed.


	15. Die Paper Die? How Poetic

“Come on Kell,” Alex whined for the 700th time that day, it wasn’t but for Kelley that’s what it felt like. “Kelley, come on, please.” The defender sighed and stopped walking before turning around to face the forward who was staring at her with her head tilted to the side, “For the last time, no.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Fuck off Alex.” Kelley deadpanned as she grabbed the box out of her trunk and shoved it into Alex’s arms. Kelley then proceeded to grab another two boxes from her trunk and place them on the ground by her feet as she closed the trunk and locked her car. “Why won’t you just tell me where we’re going?” Alex asked but Kelley just ignored the question, if she had to listen to Alex ask her about their date another time today she was going to turn around and kick her bad ankle. Walking up the stairs to Kelley’s apartment, Alex continued to press the subject, asking where it was, what time of day was it, what day was it, what did she need to wear but Kelley wasn’t budging. “You’re the worst person I’ve ever met.” Alex grumbled pushing past Kelley to walk into the apartment first. She drops the box onto the counter and spins around to look at Kelley ambling into the apartment, and into the kitchen to place the boxes down. “Just give me _one_ clue.”

 

“It’s during the day, there, there’s your clue.” Kelley waved Alex away dismissively but not before looking up and smirking at the forward until their attention turns to the hallway where they hear footsteps approaching and Tobin and Christen come into view, hair tangled and messy, and clothes wrinkled – definitely from where they were balled up and thrown across the room. “Good afternoon,” Kelley grinned wiggling her eyebrows at her two friends. “Fuck off Kelley.” Tobin muttered reaching behind her to lace her fingers with Christen’s. “What’s in the boxes?” Christen asked as she sat at the counter and tapped against the side of the box. “Decorations,” Kelley answered taking a seat beside Christen, “For Sam and Ash’s party on Saturday. Allie wanted us to dig through them and get rid of the broken ones before we take them around.”

 

“Why can’t she do it?” Tobin asked looking behind her as she grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. “She’s busy, she’s got to go and buy as much alcohol as she can and I’m also ninety percent sure she doesn’t want to.” Alex hopped up onto the counter and started sifting through the box she brought up and picked up a banner covered in a thin layer of dust. She tilted her head to read the words ‘Champions’ in Cardinal red, “Do you guys get rid of any decorations or are you just optimistic we’ll win another championship this year?”

 

“Both,” Christen and Kelley answered in unison. “We have so many birthdays on this team; there is actually no point in us throwing this stuff away.”

 

Alex nods as she continues to pull out various decorations until her eyes land on a photograph at the bottom of the box. Alex digs deep and pulls it out and lets her eyes linger on the picture. “Are you guys wearing UNC uniforms in this?” Alex laughs as she hands the picture to Kelley. Christen and Tobin quickly flank to her and look over her shoulder. “That was two years ago, we lost a longstanding bet to them losers and this was our punishment.”

 

“Longstanding bet?”

 

“We have a shootout every-time we play each other and loser has a forfeit; that was the first time we’d lost to them in like ten years.”

 

“Tobin missed the crucial penalty.”

 

“I did not,” Tobin mumbled feebly; feeling her cheeks heat up as she remembered the junior in goal who was definitely her type. “She practically kicked the ball into her arms; she should never have been allowed to take a PK again.” Kelley huffed as she leant back in the chair and folded her arms. “As you can tell,” Christen laughed softly as she pinched the photograph from the defender’s grip. “Kelley is still a little bitter over what happened.”  Tobin walked around and stood behind Kelley. “KO, dude, get over it.”

 

“No way!” Kelley exclaimed, “I had to have sixteen showers after I wore that ugly jersey, I can still feel it on my skin.” Kelley shuddered as she spoke, eliciting an eye roll from Christen, Tobin and Alex. “Kell, just please help me sort through these?” Alex changed the subject holding out a ‘happy birthday’ banner towards Kelley. The defender at first didn’t respond with anything other than raising her eyebrows but eventually just gave up, sighed and took the other end of the banner and started looking through to see if it was ripped or just too old to use. Christen and Tobin left the pair alone after a few minutes, reminding them that Alyssa won’t be home until late because Julie had talked her into going to a restaurant with her, Zach and one of Zach’s teammates’ – she wasn’t happy about it but she’d do anything for Julie. Alex was leaning against one of the boxes filled with usable decorations, eyes beginning to droop as she watched Kelley blow up a yellow balloon, “Tired?”

 

Alex yawned but shook her head, “Wide awake,” she mumbled out feebly; realizing that Kelley wasn’t going to believe that for a minute. She tied the balloon before hitting it up and smacking it across the kitchen so it landed in the sink and stood up. “It’s only five, we can take a nap.”

 

“Are you tired?”

 

“No,” Kelley shook her head. “But I can think of something that’ll make me tired.” She winked at Alex but the forward was quick to shake her head. “Don’t even think about it.”

 

“You’re no fun.” Kelley stuck her tongue out. “I know, I’m a real bore. I’ll be in your bed, asleep; tidy this up before Press’ head explodes at the mess.” Alex waved her hand dismissively as she sleepily trudged off to Kelley’s room. She kicked her Nikes’ off and slid across the floor to the bed before climbing in and lying down facing the wall. Alex twirled the rose gold band around her finger multiple times until she heard Kelley, not so subtly crash into the bedroom. “Seriously Al? Can’t you just put your shoes neatly?” Kelley’s voice had a hint of annoyance but Alex knew she didn’t mean it, and instead found herself closing her eyes and covering her mouth with her sweatshirt sleeves to muffle her laughter. She tried hard to make sure she looked dead to the world as Kelley slipped under the covers; she let her arm rest across Alex’s side as she buried her head into Alex’s shoulder blade. Alex tried to even out her breathing to trick Kelley, but she wasn’t sure if it was working but even then; Kelley didn’t seem to notice as she started talking. “Last year was different; I was a mess, I still am. You-” Kelley yawned before continuing to speak. “You make things better.”

 

Alex flipped around and looked a wide-eyed Kelley straight on. “You’re such a sap.” Alex laughed slightly. “I thought you were asleep?” Kelley mumbled; feeling her own cheeks heat up as she ducked her head. “Couldn’t you have spilt details about the date though?”

 

“Shut up Alex, go to sleep.” Kelley mumbled pushing the forward’s face away from her as she turned to lie on her back. Kelley had barely had a chance to get comfortable lying on her back when she felt Alex pull her arm and lift it up and around the forward’s body and hear her say, “Can’t sleep without you.”

 

And in that moment, Kelley knew her life was about to be turned upside down by Alex Morgan.

 

“Kell, Kell, Kell, Kelley.” Alex continued to jab Kelley in the side whilst forcing herself back into the heavy sleep she had been enjoying until Kelley’s phone began to incessantly ring on the table beside her. “Answer your fucking phone.” Alex huffed out, rolling over and holding a cushion to her ear to drown out the noise. Kelley sleepily and rather awkwardly reached for her phone off the nightstand and slid her thumb across the screen without opening her eyes as she held the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

 

Alex sighed when Kelley jolted upright, rushing out words as she stumbled out of bed and looked around the room for her ID and shoes. Alex removed the pillow from her face and sat up, watching as a still dazed Kelley tried to tie the laces to her shoes whilst holding the phone between her ear and shoulder. “You think I’m running late because I like it? How about you shut up, I’ll be there soon.” Kelley rolled her eyes as she ended the call and finally her eyes met Alex’s who was still staring at her with a bewildered expression. “I’ll explain later, I’m sorry.” Kelley hopped up and grabbed her ID off the nightstand before quickly kissing Alex and leaving the room with no further explanation. Alex reached over and grabbed her own phone, checking the time and when she realized it was only a little after seven, she had to wonder where Kelley was heading in such a rush; it obviously wasn’t soccer related, at least she doesn’t think it is. Alex got out of bed and stretched before slipping her Nikes’ back on and walking through the apartment, it was empty; she couldn’t hear Tobin or Christen and after checking the note taped to the refrigerator, she wasn’t going to see them for a while. Alex grabbed the two boxes of decorations and headed out of the apartment and down the stairs before heading back to her own building; timing it perfectly when she saw Julie and Alyssa pull up outside. “How was dinner?” Alex asked. “Not bad,” Alyssa shrugged. “Thanks JJ. Is anyone home?” Alyssa asked Alex who shook her head, “Tobin and Christen have gone to get food and Kelley rushed out before, don’t question me.” Alex flashed the keeper a small smile before turning to her roommate. “Can you take me to Allie’s? I need to take these decorations.”

 

“Let’s go,” Julie smiled and waved to Alyssa as she headed down the street. Alex put the boxes on the backseat before getting into the passenger side. “So, KO rushed out. What’cha do A-Morgs?” Julie asked, smirking at Alex as the forward shuffled down further in her seat. “I wish, she just said she’d explain later and she was sorry.”

 

“Maybe she just forgot she had to do something?” Julie offered, but out of the corner of her eye she was watching Alex who was sulking like a small child. “Yeah, maybe.” Alex shrugged and signaled the conversation was over when she turned the radio on and watched Julie’s lips turn up into a smile when Beyoncé started playing. For the rest of the drive, it was windows down with Alex and Julie yelling the lyrics to different hits, and laughing when either of them messed up the lyrics or mashed two songs together. Alex and Julie had one box each as they walked up to Allie’s house, the door swinging open. “I saw you two through the window,” the midfielder smiled at them as she stepped aside. Alex reached the kitchen first, “You can tell it’s Ash’s birthday.” She laughed when she caught sight of the amount of beer and liquor on the kitchen counter. “You think that’s bad? Syd open that door.” Syd pulled open the door and it was stocked to the ceiling. “Even between all of us, that will kill us.” Alex deadpanned as she set the box down on a spare space on the counter. “That’s nothing compared to what we had last year. Last year, three of us ended up in hospital and three ended up in jail…” Syd trailed off. “Let me think; Ash, Tobs and Kell ended up in jail for the night and Em, Kling and Moe ended up in hospital? Okay, Emily was definitely the one who fell off the roof, Kling definitely banged her head slipping on spilt vodka – what did Moe do?”

 

“Emily crashed into her.” Allie answered, smiling and laughing at Alex who was looking between the pair wide-eyed in disbelief. “So, jail?” Alex furrowed her eyebrows; and Syd, Allie and Julie all started laughing; “Ash bet Tobin that she could kick her ass at basketball, at the park not far from here and Tobin when she’s drunk is the cockiest person I’ve ever met and she was never going to back down; so some of us followed them to watch them play, and Tobin won but Ash wouldn’t agree with it and long story short – they started fighting – and I mean, Ash punched her and Tobin hit back.”

 

“BLACK EYES FOR DAYS.” Syd interjected, and Allie hummed in agreement. “Exactly. They got arrested and spent the night in jail.”

 

“How did Kell end up there?”

 

“Argued with the officer, talked herself into getting arrested.” Allie continued to explain. “Ash’s birthday is always the wildest, so much shit happens. Emily always seems to be involved when it gets wild; apart from falling off the roof, the stuff between her and Sam happened that night.”

 

“Do you know what happened yet?” Syd asked Alex who was now sitting at the counter. Alex looked over to Julie who seemed to remember that she was supposed to tell Alex what happened. “I forgot, you tell her.” JJ pointed at Syd who shrugged and finished eating the chips she was in the process of eating. “Okay Morgan, you have a lot to learn.” Syd smirked at Allie before Allie grabbed the forward’s arm and led her over to the sofa before Syd and Allie started retelling her the story of last year, and argued about who was telling it just seconds in.

 

“Long story short; Emily broke up with her girlfriend the day before Ash’s birthday and spent the first few hours of the party hiding and moping until Sam came back from Boston and Emily hadn’t seen her in a week and was literally clinging to her for ages, they got drunk, hooked up.” Syd wiggled her eyebrows, whilst Allie took over. “Em sobered up pretty quickly after what happened, Sam just passed out and didn’t seem bothered at all. Emily was a mess though, climbed onto the roof and when Moe found her and asked her why she was up there, she got startled and fell off.”

 

“And that’s why she and Moe ended up in hospital, Em crashed into her when she fell off the roof.” Syd finished explaining and all eyes fell on Alex who was just letting all of the information sink in.

 

 

“Do they ever talk about it?”

 

“At first, Emily was scared to even be around Sam; she was an actual trainwreck but eventually Kell and Morgan just locked them in the locker room after training until they talked and now they’re back to normal.”

 

“Last year sounded so eventful.” Alex acknowledged. “We’re hoping to top it this year.”

 

“What could possibly top that?”

 

“You and KO could hook up.” Allie shrugged nonchalantly, stealing the chip out of Syd’s hand. “I’d pay to see that.” Syd added and all eyes fell on her until she realized. “Gross; not like that you idiots,”

 

“How are we supposed to know? You haven’t had a boyfriend since freshmen year.”

 

“I’m over college boys.” Syd huffed as she began to angrily munch on the chips. “You can’t be over something you never had.”

 

“Hey JJ?” Syd smiled sweetly, “Fuck you.” She growled lowly as she threw the folded up bag of chips at the blonde’s head. Julie caught the bag and opened it up, herself starting to eat the chips whilst smiling smugly at Syd. Talk turned to what else happened during Ash’s birthday last year when Alex continued to feel her phone vibrate in her back pocket. After the fourth time, Alex took her phone out of her pocket and read the four messages from Kelley within a minute of each other.

 

_I got home and you’re gone? – Defender Extraordinaire_

 

_Dude, where are you? – Defender Extraordinaire_

 

_Where’d you go?? – Defender Extraordinaire_

 

_I need to talk to you. – Defender Extraordinaire_

 

The last message sparked the forward’s interest. “Hey JJ, can I borrow your car? I have to go.” Alex asked, batting her eyelashes at the blonde who eyed her suspiciously in return. “Please,” Alex added. “I’ll take you home when I take Syd home.” Allie offered and Julie conceded after that and handed over her keys. “You better not hurt my baby.”

 

“I’ve driven your car before.” Alex reminded her. “Does Zach know that you treasure your car more than him?” Syd asked her and Julie nodded. “He knows.” Alex left the house and drove back towards campus, and pulled up outside Kelley’s building. She’d barely had time to kill the engine before she noticed Kelley casually leaning against the building doors. Alex smirked slightly as she rolled the window down and called out to the defender. “Because leaning against the door doesn’t look sketchy at all KO. It also doesn’t look cool.”

 

“I’m actually pretty cool.” Kelley retorted, winking at Alex as she pushed herself off the door and headed over to the car. “You look like a lost toddler, not a good look if you ask me.” Alex shrugged as she rolled the window back up and climbed out of the car. “JJ knows you have her car right? Because I know for a fact she’d rather you took Zach without telling her over this baby.” Kelley spoke up, raising her eyebrows as she looked between Alex and the car. “I’m not trying to ruin the mood here, but you said we needed to talk? Are you finally telling me where you’re taking me on our date?”

 

Kelley’s head snapped up as she rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. “Funny you should say that.” The defender laughed nervously. “But I’m not talking about this here, come on.” Kelley started to walk back to the building without so much as a glance back towards Alex, which leaves the forward jogging to catch up with Kelley who is miles ahead of her and walking into her apartment with Alex still on the half-landing of the stairwell. Walking into the apartment, Alex waves to Alyssa who is emotionally invested in an episode of Narcos as she absentmindedly types away at her laptop to finish an assignment. “You’re going to hate me for this.” Is all Kelley says as Alex enters her bedroom, she stops abruptly and raises her eyebrows in anticipation for what Kelley was going to say next. “You know it doesn’t sound promising when a conversation starts with you’re going to hate me.” Even the tongue-in-cheek comment didn’t bring any sort of reaction from Kelley and Alex felt uneasy about what she was going to say; she had several possibilities flooding her mind that she didn’t hear Kelley talking, only watching her lips move. “What?” Alex asked finally bringing herself back to reality. “Sorry?” The forward offered with a light shrug. “I’ll stop zoning out, I promise.” Alex slid across the bedroom floor and made herself comfortable on Kelley’s still unmade bed. She waved her hand for the defender to join her and Kelley did, although more reluctantly than she usually would’ve. Kelley sat across from Alex, choosing to take great interest in the annoying patch of paint on the wall that is a different color to the rest; and she’s blaming Tobin entirely for not being able to tell the difference. Kelley sighed, she knew it would be better to say it outright and that’s what she did. “I’m going to D.C. for four days; I have to go for a research trip, I leave on Monday but I’ll be back on Thursday; I know I should’ve told you but I was so distracted.” When Kelley opens her eyes, Alex is looking straight back at her. “Alex? Come on, say something.”

 

“Did you manage to forget you were going across the country for a few days?” And it’s not what Kelley expects Alex to say, and the badly hidden smile is another thing Kelley was surprised to see. “You’re not mad at me?”

 

“I’m annoyed you forget to tell until now, when I’m guessing you’ve known for a while; but no, I’m not mad.” _Lies, Alex was feeling a whole manner of emotions that she couldn’t describe if she even tried._ “Hey, I promised I wouldn’t keep the baby out too long, you know what JJ’s like.” Alex grins as she stands up; she flashes a wide and overly faked smile to Kelley before she’s out of her room in the blink of an eye. She’s deep in thought that she doesn’t even see Christen and Tobin coming back into the apartment, both holding grocery bags. “Alex? Are you okay?” Christen asks, noticing the deeply concentrated expression on her strike partner’s face. “What? Oh yeah. I’m fine. I have to go, bye guys.” Alex rushed out quickly moving past the pair and out of the apartment into the hallway. Tobin looks over at Christen who still has her eyes on the door. “Ten dollars that Kelley screwed up.”

 

“No.” Christen responds as she whips her head around. She walks into the kitchen and drops the bag on the counter. “Put those away, I need to talk to Kell.”

 

~

 

Friday morning started louder than Julie and Alex would’ve cared for, the clattering of pans, music blaring from what they were guessing was Syd’s phone and the raucous laughter and distinctness of Morgan’s accent as she yelled through the paper thin walls of the apartment had woken the pair up a mere twenty minutes before they had to, but twenty minutes extra sleep would’ve been worth it. “Guys, what the fuck?” Alex’s raspy voice cut off the arguing as Syd lowered the pan in her hand from where she looked like she was going to hit Morgan with it. “You couldn’t have let us sleep for just a little longer.”

 

“I wanted pancakes.” Morgan huffed out, folding her arms and pouting like a child. “Make me coffee and I’ll make you pancakes.” Julie’s voice caught all three off guard as she entered the kitchen, a sleepy smile on her face as she pointed to the coffee machine. “You’re my favorite teammate, have I ever told you that?”

 

“ _You’re my favorite teammate, have I ever told you that?_ ” Syd repeated at a higher pitch, whilst rolling her eyes at the back of Morgan’s head. “Syd, one more thing.” Morgan walked over and leant in to whisper something to the forward when she yelled at the top of her lungs. “IT’S GAME DAY.”

 

“Yeah, sure, it’s game day. You have class remember, don’t miss it.” Julie reminded her, turning back to her roommates with a cup of coffee for her before she slid another cup slowly across to Alex.

 

“Whatever, _mom._ ”

 

The talk of classes caused Alex’s eyes to widen. “Oh, I am so fucking screwed.”

 

“What?” Julie asked looking over at Alex. “I have a test today; I forgot to study for it.” Alex laughed slightly, “Oh god. A D- is going to look so great.”

 

As if forgetting she had a test was bad enough, Alex got distracted by a phone call from Jeni and ended up having to sprint across campus to make it in time for the beginning of class. “Nice of you to join us.” Her lecturer’s shrill voice called her out as she tried to sneak to her seat where a test was already waiting for her. Alex looked over her shoulder to find her lecturer’s eyes still firmly looking down at her laptop screen, and so the forward just sighed and made her way to her usual seat, dropping her books and pulling out a pen to begin writing, five minutes later. “Please be easy,” She mumbled as quietly as she could.

 

_Good luck A-Morgs!! Don’t give Syd the satisfaction of you failing. – JJ_

 

Alex smiled at her phone and rolled her eyes as she walked out after the test,

 

_It could’ve been worse, tell Syd things come easy when you’re naturally intelligent. – Alex_

 

Alex had barely looked up from her phone when she saw Kelley in the near distance talking to Christen. She really wasn’t in the mood for this today, and she’d actually planned avoiding seeing Kelley until she absolutely had to for the game. Alex had spent too long just stood in the middle of campus that the other two had finally noticed her and left the forward with no choice but to go over, after all she could hardly pretend she hadn’t seen them. “Hey guys, I can’t stay to talk because I really have to get to class.”

 

“You don’t have a class now.” Kelley corrected her and Alex glared, but softened her expression quite quickly. “Then I’m going to the library, bye.” Alex ducked her head and continued walking leaving Christen and Kelley sharing a confused glance. Alex continued to shake her head for the rest of the walk to the library after figuring she had at least two papers that were only half completed and due sooner than she’d like them to be.

 

It took all of fifteen minutes and a coffee for Alex to be completely over the theory paper she had added two words to since she last had it opened. “I know you’re trying to ignore me.” Alex jumped at the voice before spinning around and finding an unusually sullen Kelley leaning casually against the bookshelf. “A-Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” Alex asked disregarding the previous comment as she brushed her hair behind her ears. “Canceled, how’s the paper going?” She asked, laughing slightly at the words typed underneath the latest paragraph. “Die paper die? How poetic.”

 

“Yeah,” Alex breathed out. “It’s stressing me out a bit.”

 

“Are you too mad to spend the rest of the morning with me?” Kelley asked, hopping up and sitting on the desk, completely ignoring the horrified expression on the librarian’s face. Alex looked between Kelley and the computer and felt her annoyance melting away almost immediately. “What do you have in mind?” The forward asked already saving and logging off. “I have a few ideas.” Alex gathered up her books and followed Kelley towards the exit. “I missed ‘ya.” Kelley smirked over her shoulder already reaching for Alex’s hand. “Don’t push it.” Alex grinned back allowing hers and Kelley’s fingers to intertwine. After throwing her stuff on the backseat and getting into the car, Alex questioned Kelley on where they were going. “We could blow the rest of the day off and go to San Francisco?”

 

“You are aware of the game tonight, right?”

 

“We’ll be back in time.” Kelley reassures her,

 

“No.”

 

“Fine,” Kelley conceded. “We’re going one day though.”

 

“I don’t doubt it,” Alex smiled shifting and letting her head rest against the window. “When are you going to let me drive your car?”

 

“Not a fucking chance!” Kelley’s response was definitely a lot louder than she expected. “Nobody drives my car.”

 

“Why? I’m a better driver than you.” Alex retaliated, Kelley scoffed. “You are not a better driver than me-” and Alex jolted forward in that moment when Kelley unexpectedly swerved to avoid an oncoming red car from the right. Kelley pulled up seconds later, and Alex finally caught her breath again. “You were saying?”

 

“Their fault, it’s give way to the left.”

 

“Right,” Alex corrected and Kelley looked at with her head tilted to the side. “It’s give way to the right Kell.”

 

“You’re still not driving my car.” Kelley deadpanned. “So, breakfast?” She suggested and Alex was nodding before she’d even finished the question; after saying she’d make breakfast; Julie and Morgan got so distracted by a Bayern Munich game recorded from the night before that the thought of food slipped their minds. “Turn left here,” Alex pointed towards the left, momentarily lifting her head from her phone. “Why?” Kelley asked, “Just do it Kell.” After following Alex’s directions for the next ten minutes they ended up at a restaurant that for once, Kelley had never been to before. Walking in, Alex instantly scanned the restaurant for who she was looking for when Kelley noticed someone first. “HAO!” And before Alex had a chance to ask; Kelley was sprinting to the other end of the restaurant and hugging another girl. Alex gave up looking for her friend and walked over to the two. “Alex, meet my Irish soul sister.” Kelley grinned wider than Alex had seen for a while. “Give it up with the nickname KO. I’m Heather, Heather O’Reilly. I graduated from Stanford last year.”

 

“You’re Heather? My roommates talk about you all the time. I’ve heard a lot of good stuff.”

 

Kelley turned into a kid in a candy shop in Heather’s presence, bouncing around her, pulling on her arm and asking a billion questions. “When are you coming back to watch us play? The girls would love to see you.”

 

“I was actually coming back tonight, thought I’d stick around for a while.”

 

“Wait, seriously?”

 

“What other reason would I not be in Boston and be this close to the old stomping ground?” Heather asked as though it was obvious. “I can’t believe you’re coming back, Ali is going to lose her shit when she sees you.”

 

“Keep it a secret dummy. I don’t need you ruining the surprise.” Heather ruffled Kelley’s hair and could only laugh when the defender tried and failed to escape her grasp. “My lips are sealed, dude, I’ve missed you so much.”

 

“I’ve missed ‘ya too kiddo, but I have to go – I left Dave in the car. It was great to meet you Alex; look after this kid; she’s special to me.” Heather smiled at Alex before hugging Kelley once more and leaving. “So, that’s who Syd and Moe keep comparing me to?”

 

“Yeah; she was, she was – okay, you know the way everyone always has that one friend who you’re just closer to? That was HAO; like Tobin has Cheney, Christen has Julie, Kling and Moe have each other, Emily has Sam, Allie has Syd – you get the point. When HAO was graduating last year, I was a wreck; I was a mess during her last game, after the final whistle I just ran over to her and didn’t let her go for so long.” It was the first time that Alex had sensed any sort of vulnerability in Kelley and the forward had no clue what to say, but luckily for her, Kelley did and that word was breakfast. “So, does Heather play professionally?” Alex asked as they waited for their food. “The Breakers. She was the fourth overall pick, we all watched it from our hotel in Florida, I always knew the chances she’d get a club close to here was small but I was still hoping.”

 

“You really do miss her, don’t you?”

 

“A lot, it’s like when my sister went away to college; having HAO go across the country, it felt like that all over again.” Kelley looked at Alex sadly and as though she wanted to say something else but stopped herself and the food arrived not too long later, letting the conversation cease for a while.

 

“What do you think we should be for Halloween?” Kelley asks after a short silence, staring over at Alex as she forward chews on a piece of pancake. “What? Halloween isn’t for like two weeks.”

 

“Regardless.” Kelley waves Alex’s comment away. “Ash is going to drag Ali into dressing up in something stupid, Press is obsessed with the idea of couple’s costumes; usually Em and I would dress up similar but I told her to do it with Moe this year because I want us to go together.”

 

“Are you insinuating by the time Halloween arrives I’ll be your girlfriend?” Alex questions her, putting her fork down and giving the defender her full attention. “Why?” Kelley asked leaning forward and smirking at Alex. “Want me to be?”

 

“Don’t get cocky; I never said such a thing.” Alex stated with an eye roll. “I’ll ask you out if you want me to,” Kelley shrugged as she sat back, “But not today. We haven’t even been on a date yet.”

 

“Speaking of-”

 

“Friday.” Kelley responded quickly, cutting Alex off before she’d finished asking. “I get back from D.C. on Thursday so I’ll take you out Friday.”

 

“I’m going to miss you next week,” Alex mumbled half-heartedly as she let her head rest against her arm. “Are you?”

 

“Of course.” Alex smiled at Kelley. “Who else will I be able to do this to?” Alex asked as she swiped the last piece of bacon from Kelley’s plate and started eating it, and Kelley just rolled her eyes in return. “You never answered my question; what should we be for Halloween?”

 

“As long as the costume has actual clothes, and doesn’t have the word sexy in it. I’ll let you choose it.”

 

“Buzz Lightyear?”

 

“No.”

 

“R2-D2?”

 

“Fuck off.” Alex muttered. “Albert Einstein?” Kelley suggested but that just received a look that could only be described as ‘hell no’. “You have to come up with better ideas.”

 

“They were good!” Kelley defended. “Fine, fine. I’ll think of something else.”

 

After listening to Kelley rifle off the worst Halloween costume ideas Alex has ever heard for the last hour, they’re finally coasting down the road, the radio blasting, and feeling their responsibilities for the day just evaporate into the warm October air. “So, Allie says last year you got arrested on Ash’s birthday.”

 

Kelley chuckles softly and turns the music down. “I don’t remember much of it, I remember at first sticking up for Tobin because Ash punched her first and next thing I was in handcuffs being pushed into the car beside Tobs. It was a bit of a blur, still is.”

 

“Last year sounded like a wild night.” Alex merely acknowledged. “Senior year, everybody knows this year will be worse.”

 

“Allie and Syd said the same. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a night close to that before.”

 

“You’re in for a treat.” Kelley smirked as she pulled her sunglasses down and slipped them on. “Don’t get arrested Kell.” Alex spoke with a more serious tone. “No promises,” Kelley laughed in return but after seeing the stern expression on Alex’s face she held her hand up, “Fine. I promise.”

 

~

 

That night, they play at home to Oregon State and it’s the most comfortable win on the year. After admitting the defeat against Arizona was their poorest display of the season, they felt collectively that taking the field for this game should be led with the air of having something to prove, if not to the fans, themselves and Paul; it was to prove that they could bounce back from a surprising defeat.

 

So that’s what happened,

 

6-0; Christen with a hat trick, Emily with a header, Sam with the fifth and Syd with the sixth.

 

~

 

If you could describe what Alex and Julie’s bedroom looked like with half of the girls crammed in getting ready for Ash’s birthday, there were three spots of floor that could be seen from standing upon either bed. And to get out, you had to jump in the three spots before jumping over Syd and landing in the hallway without breaking a bone. “Someone is going to break their neck doing that.” Julie stated holding the mascara wand in her right hand as Morgan was the next person to brave hopping over Syd and land in the hallway. “Well if Syd moved, it’d be easier.”

 

“My apartment, fuck off.”

 

“I live here too.” Morgan reminded her. “Both of you shut up; Ali turn the music up!”

 

“As you wish!” The defender yelled across the room before switching the music up. The rest of the time was spent with eight different girls getting dressed in one room because Syd and Moe’s room was that messy you couldn’t see the floor beforehand. “Where’s Ash anyway?” Alex asked Ali as they all huddled around the kitchen as Julie and Syd messily poured out some shots. “A bar not far off campus, it’s some lame tradition that her, Tobin, Whit and Kling have; it happens on all their birthdays. Don’t ask.” Ali laughed as she grabbed two shots and handed one to the forward. “I just hope she doesn’t get arrested like last year. they pregame for what seems like hours and when it’s finally time to head over to Allie’s, 50% of the girls can barely stand up. “This was a bad idea.” Ali acknowledges watching as Morgan and Emily trip up on the floor as they hold a bottle of beer each and giggle incessantly at something that definitely isn’t that funny.

 

The next hour so passes in a complete blur and Alex is in the living room dancing with Christen, both their drinks sloshing around and spilling out as Tobin and Kelley watch on amusedly. Kelley and Tobin are roped into playing beer pong because is it really a party if a heated game of beer pong doesn’t take up a good proportion of party time. Alex and Christen choose to stay away from the game and by Sonnett’s outraged yelling not fifteen minutes in; they realize just how right they were to stay away. After a while, the girls ascend the stairs. “Remind us to never play a game with Em again,”

 

“She’s such a sore loser.” Kelley laughs as she joins Alex’s side after stumbling and swaying a little too much to fight off Alex’s concern for how drunk the defender was. “Whoa Kell. That’s enough.” She pulls Kelley to sit on the couch beside her before rejoining her conversation with Christen and Amy. “Alex, hey Al, Alex, Alex Morgan.” Kelley continues to poke Alex’s cheek as she speaks to the point where Alex whips her head around. “What Kelley?”

 

“Do you bet I can dance on the counter better than Emily?”

 

“No, don’t you fucking dare.” Alex chided but Kelley is grinning like an idiot and waves to Emily before shouting. “RACE YA.”

 

“Oh god.” Amy laughs nervously. “This can’t end well.” The blonde turned around fully to watch as Emily and Kelley shoved past their teammates and climbed the counter bashfully. In the process; four bottles of beer and a near empty bottle of tequila was knocked off the counter and smashed on the floor much to Allie’s dismay as she tried to drunkenly scold the pair, but ended up forgetting what she wanted to say halfway through and turned back to Tobin instead. With each other’s help, Kelley and Emily stood up straight, laughing and holding onto each other for dear life. Alex was gripping the cup in her hand as tight as she could; she watched as Kelley waved to Christen to turn the music up louder, if that was actually possible; it was already blaring so loudly that the team should be expecting noise complaints anytime soon.

 

It all happened in a blur, one second Kelley and Emily were throwing their best dance moves down and second; an ambulance was outside the house taking both Emily and Kelley to hospital. “I’m blaming Ash!” Christen called as Kelley, still in a drunken daze waved to Alex to get her to walk over. “Why the fuck am I getting blamed?!” Ashlyn yelled, beginning to slightly sober up now that she was outside. “Your birthday is always the wildest babe,” Ali laughed softly as she kissed the keeper’s cheek. Alex walked over to Kelley, “I won, right?” The defender tilted her head to the side all the while giving Alex a lopsided grin with the effects of the vodka still in full effect. Sam joined the forward and was dragged beside Emily who had sobered up quicker and was now clinging to the midfielder’s arm as she cried about the pain in her head. Alex sighed, still feeling annoyed that Kelley actually proceeded in doing the dumbest thing she could, but still, she sat by Kelley as the defender continued to talk her ear off until they’d arrived at the hospital. Even after being checked for signs of concussion, fractured bones and treats for the cuts on her face that had stemmed from landing on the broken glass on the floor. “Are you mad at me?”

 

“No,”

 

“Yes you are.” Kelley sighed; finally beginning to sober up and register the throbbing pain in her head. “Kell; do you even have any idea how fucking stupid that was?”

 

“I do now.” She muttered in response, sitting up with her legs dangling over the side of the bed as she looked at Alex who was sitting in the chair. “At least you’re in a better condition that Em.” Alex sympathized, giving up on even lecturing Kelley on being stupid, or at least attempting to. Kelley held her hand out, and Alex was over and sitting beside Kelley almost instantly. “You still wanna date me? Even though I’m dumb.”

 

“It’ll take a lot more than this to put me off, _dumbass_.”

 

~

 

It was 3:24 AM when Kelley woke up and shifted out of Alex’s arms to begin getting ready to meet with the rest of her class before going to the airport. Alex had refused to leave the apartment last night, wanting nothing more than just be with Kelley before she had to deal with having four days away from her, they’d barely slept; they spent their time talking and switching from watching animal videos on YouTube for the last few hours, and Alex still wasn’t asleep which is why it wasn’t a surprise when Alex was roused from the ‘sleep’ she was in by Kelley kicking her suitcase as she struggled to find her clothes in the still dark room. “Just turn the light on Kell.”

 

“You’re awake?” Kelley’s tone was full of surprise, and a hint of frustration that she’d woken Alex up when she hadn’t meant to. “I was never asleep.” Alex replies, sitting up as Kelley makes it to the light switch and flicks it on. “When do you have to leave?”

 

“Twenty minutes, I probably should’ve been awake earlier.” Kelley laughed slightly; running a hand through the messy knot in her hair as she finally spies her sweatshirt and leggings on the back of her desk chair. “Don’t do something stupid in D.C.” Alex softly chides her and Kelley looks over at her with offence all over her face. “I have no idea – wait, never mind.” Alex and Kelley laugh softly for a minute. Kelley forgets about getting dressed for a second and walks back over to the bed, sitting down in front of Alex who is still wearing her Stanford sweatshirt that she ‘borrowed’ last night but has no intentions of giving back. “Hey,” Kelley grabs Alex’s attention and smiles at her warmly. “I’ll miss you.”

 

“I’ll miss you too, duh.” Alex mumbles out, the strange sensation building in her stomach; sure, it’s four days but without Kelley by her side every day annoying the fuck out of her Alex knows it’ll feel like forever. “I lo- I’ll call you every night okay? Don’t miss me too much.” Kelley smirked but the realization that she nearly said what she had has her panicked for a moment. “Get dressed Kell.” Alex pushes her gently and Kelley complies, but not before stealing a kiss from her favorite forward.

 

Alyssa, Christen, Tobin and Alex are sleepily standing in the living room as Kelley hauls her suitcase out into the hallway. “Have fun Kell, but not your type of fun.”

 

“Thanks Tobs,” Kelley answers in monotone before laughing and hugging her friends. She hugs Alex once more and kisses her forehead. “I love ‘ya Lex.”

 

“Love you too.” Alex smiles and finally lets her go. Kelley waves before leaving the apartment with four minutes to meet up with everyone on campus. “She’ll be okay; it’ll be Thursday before you know it.” Christen reassures Alex and hugs her from behind. “It’s four days? It’s not that big of a deal.” Tobin shrugged, still tired from being woken up, and just like that; Alex and Christen turn around and reply simultaneously.

 

“Shut up Tobin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took so long, and i'm so sorry but it's been a stressful time. i hope it's worth the wait though, as usual comments & kudos are always appreciated
> 
> come yell at me on tumblr for this taking too long: beckysauerbrunns


	16. It's Not What I'd Call Romantic

At first; Alex was fine with having Kelley in D.C. because if anything, the defender talked to her more being over 2000 miles away than when she was just down the road in her own apartment. Every time Alex looked down at her phone, there was a string of texts, a Snapchat, a missed Facetime call, or any other form of contact – Kelley always forgetting about the three hour time difference, and forgetting that Alex was either in class or back in training now that her ankle was nearly healed. That was the first two days, once Wednesday hit; Alex was getting bored and missing the defender like mad, she missed Kelley turning up outside the lecture hall or the library swinging her car keys around her finger and grinning before asking Alex to blow off whatever she was doing so they could spend the day together, training sessions were also quieter without Kelley and her dumb antics.

 

Julie spent the morning that they didn’t have class with Alex, they got food and talked about anything, Morgan chose to challenge Alex to five games of FIFA in between their afternoon classes, and after training; the four roommates headed out to Chipotle. “Morgan, stop it.” Julie scolded the midfielder as she folded napkins into airplanes and sent them soaring across the restaurant. “Yeah Morgan, you’re not five.” Syd added, smirking over at the brunette. Alex was sat opposite the beginning to bicker pair, zoned out of the conversation completely as she stared down at her phone where the only notification was from a group chat with her old friends that she was yet to begin reading through. “The more you stare at it-”

 

“I know,” Alex laughed softly as she cut Julie off and turned to look at the blonde, she locked her phone and pushed it to the end of the table. “Hey, have you guys decided what you’re going to be for Halloween yet?” Alex asked as the other three stopped talking and looked at the forward. “I completely forgot Halloween was this month.” Julie shrugged.

 

“Kell’s been talking about it since October started. She said you and Allie plan an amazing night?”

 

“You bet we do; Allie goes crazy over Halloween; the decorations, the puns, the drinking, her house gets turned into a mad haunted house. Last year it was all about zombies but this year we were thinking about either insane asylums or turning it into a slaughterhouse. Either way,” Syd grinned smugly. “This will be the best one yet. Last Halloween, we’re going all out.” She pointed her fork at her friends and laughed maniacally. “Beware.”

 

“Are you sure you didn’t come from an insane asylum.” Morgan asked, her face paling as she visibly freaked at the option of having the house turned into an insane asylum – having not recovered from watching Grave Encounters just a few weeks ago. “Grow up loser. The movie wasn’t that scary.”

 

“Emily printed off a picture and made it into a mask, I cried so hard when I woke up and saw her sitting in the fucking corner.” But that just made the teasing worse, Syd was the worst; she was laughing so much she couldn’t stop crying as Morgan just sank further into her seat. “You guys are the worst.”

 

“We know. Let’s go.” Syd stood up, momentarily forgetting that Morgan had stretched out and let her legs rest across Syd’s lap and the force and Morgan not having enough time to catch herself ended with her landing on her back on the floor with a loud thump – grabbing the attention of some of the other diner’s. “Oh shit.” Julie gasped looking between Morgan and Syd who hadn’t yet moved from their positions. “Paul’s gonna be pissed you broke his middy.”

 

“Sorry Moe,” Syd became a lot more sheepish as she held her hand out and helped Morgan stand up.

 

The group headed out and headed home. The time just ticking past 11 PM when they finally got back to the apartment, “I’m hungry; do we have any food?”

 

“You’re kidding, right?” Julie questioned but Morgan and Alex were already by the cupboards, opening them and letting them slam shut when they couldn’t find anything they wanted to eat. “Are you too hungry to answer your phone?” Syd asked, holding up Alex’s phone from where it was ringing. “I’ll look at it in a minute.” Alex shrugged as she stole a chip from the bag Morgan had found. “It’s Kelley.” Syd swung the phone around before answering the incoming Facetime call and having Julie immediately flank to her side. “Hey dude, how’s D.C.?”

 

“Been arrested yet?”

 

Alex skipped through the apartment and swiped her phone from Syd’s hands and the wide smile that burst onto her face at seeing Kelley could possibly have been seen from space. “I guess that’s our time over, we’ll talk to you later KO!” Julie yelled as Alex was already retreating down the hall towards her bedroom. “What if I wanted to talk to JJ and Syd?”

 

“Do you?” Alex asked her hand still on the door handle. “I’d rather talk to you.” Alex just smiled and made her way over to her bed before she collapsed onto it, sitting up as she let her phone rest against her knees. “How was today? Was it good?”

 

“It was so good-” and for the next ten minutes, Alex listened to Kelley rifle off everything she did that day, including the research which Alex tried to understand (really she did) but couldn’t get her head around, when Kelley stopped talking; she started laughing. “I’m surprised you hadn’t shut me up by now.”

 

“I was listening; I didn’t want to cut you off.”

 

“My day wasn’t _that_ interesting. You could’ve cut me off.” Kelley laughed again, “I think I’m happy I’ll be home tomorrow, I miss your pretty face.”

 

“You’re looking at me now, _dummy_.” Alex reminded her, shielding her face with the oversized sleeves of her hoodie. “Through my phone, at 2 AM with two other girls sleeping in the same room; it’s not what I’d call romantic Al.”

 

“I’ve missed you. Everything’s weird without you constantly by my side, annoying me.” Alex sighed heavily, “If this trip wasn’t worth thirty percent of my grade-”

 

“You wouldn’t have gone, I know.” Alex cut Kelley off softly, smiling through the phone. “You’re back tomorrow anyway, so it doesn’t matter anymore.”

 

“Unless the flight gets delayed, or canceled.” Kelley shrugged, her face turning up in disgust at the possibility of that happening. “I swear to god if you’ve jinxed it-”

 

“You’ll kill me. I know.” Kelley started laughing and it took all of three seconds before Alex was laughing too. Julie poked her head past the door, “Oh – you two are still talking.” She smiled sheepishly but Alex could see her eyeing her bed. “Go to sleep JJ. I should probably sleep anyway, busy last day tomorrow.” Kelley spoke up before Alex could respond. “Thanks KO. You’re the best.”

 

“I know,” Kelley grinned smugly and Alex just rolled her eyes in return. “You know what time my flight gets in, right?” Alex nodded in response. “Okay, love you.”

 

“Love you Kell, and actually go to sleep.” Alex told her, sternly looking at the defender who saluted in return. “You got it kid.” Kelley ended the call and Julie walked into the room, “You’re doing that thing again.” Julie stated as she walked over to her bed. “What thing?” Alex asked, putting her phone on charge and climbing into bed. “Smiling like a loved up fool.” JJ laughed as she got into bed and switched the lamp off. “Night Alex,”

 

“Night JJ.” Alex breathed out.

 

~

 

A solid B+, not bad for someone who didn’t study.

 

Alex was feeling smug as she exited the lecture hall, her folders and graded test paper in her left arm as she scrolled through her phone until her eyes landed on an incoming text from Kelley.

 

_Flight has been delayed :( – Defender Extraordinaire_

 

Alex felt her good mood falter as she typed out a reply, telling her it was okay, but she really did jinx it last night. Shrugging it off, Alex wasn’t going to let the flight delay ruin her good mood, Kelley would be here soon, and that was all that mattered to her. Walking out of the building and across campus, Alex was completely zoned out to her surroundings that she nearly missed hearing the all too familiar voice. “I drive for nearly six hours and you don’t even say hey.” Alex spun around so quickly that her folders nearly fell out of her arms at the sight of her older sister. “This isn’t real.”

 

“I was definitely real when I left the house at 6AM to drive here.” Jeni laughed as she approached her younger sister, arms open and this time, Alex did drop her folders as she wrapped her arms tightly around her sister. “I missed you.” The forward mumbled out, holding onto Jeni and hardly wanting to let go of her. “I know you haven’t seen me since you ditched Cal for Stanford-” Alex got the hint and let Jeni go, still smiling. “So, lunch?”

 

“Yes please,” Alex smiled in response as she picked up her folders and followed her sister to her car. “B+, you’re starting to slack _genius_.” Jeni chuckled as she caught sight of the test paper. “I got a B+ without studying for it, don’t tell mom.”

 

“Not telling mom about your grades, I’ve missed these days.” Jeni smirked and only laughed when Alex blushed. “My grades were never that bad.” Alex defended but Jeni just hummed and disagreed. “You spent junior year with mom convinced you were an A student when you were barely scraping C’s.”

 

“I got away with it, didn’t I?” Alex smirked as she got into the car, Jeni scoffed. “Barely,”

 

After talking Jeni into going to get sushi for lunch, the pair were sitting at a table. “So, kid; mom says there’s a girl.” And the smirk on Jeni’s face is wide, and Alex can feel her cheeks heating up a lot. “What is it with you and falling for your damn teammates Alex?” Jeni laughed, obviously enjoying her sister’s embarrassment, because honestly; that’s what being a sister is fun for. “I don’t do it intentionally.” Alex tried to argue. “So you admit it, who’s the girl?” Jeni continued to press the subject and Alex wished, for her own sanity that she’d just give it a rest. Looking up, Alex caught sight of the grin on her sister’s face and groaned. “You already know, don’t you?”

 

“Mom told me; Kelley, right? Defender? Looks at you like you have the stars in your eyes?” Jeni winks and Alex sighs, this isn’t the end. “Are you two actually dating? Have you kissed her? Did she ask you out? Oh my god, have you two had sex?”

 

“JEN!” Alex yells too loudly and ducks her head when eyes of diners fall on her, but her sister finds it the most amusing thing. “I’m messing you, stop getting so wound up.” Jen leaves over and ruffles Alex’s hair, “But seriously. You two dating?”

 

“No.”

 

“Why?” Jeni asked, “Mom and dad are convinced.” Jeni continued but Alex shakes her head. “We’re going on a date tomorrow, but she’s in D.C. now, research trip…” Alex trails off as she looks down and finds another text from Kelley.

 

_Flight got canceled :( – Defender Extraordinaire_

 

Jeni kicked Alex’s ankle under the table, “what’s up?”

 

“Nothing; just, Kelley’s flight got canceled.” Alex locked her phone and looked up, starting to pick at her sushi, “You’re smitten.” Jeni acknowledged. “What?” Alex asked looking up. “With Kelley, you’re smitten. I’ve never seen you like this, it’s funny.” She continued to explain. “I’m not smitten with anyone, who even says that anymore Jen?” Alex bit back, smirking at her older sister and feeling a little better. “I once got my flight canceled last minute and was stuck in New York just before Christmas – your favorite holiday, and you weren’t this disappointed.” Alex knew Jeni was right but she was not about to give her that satisfaction, so she didn’t reply, instead she just turned her attention back to her food.

 

~

 

Alex spent the rest of the day with her sister, after all, she did drive six hours and missing two classes wouldn’t be the end of the world, right?

 

“Don’t make me wait two more months until I see you again.” Were Jeni’s parting words as she hugged Alex tightly, leaving a gentle kiss on her forehead. “I won’t, tell Jeri I miss her and mom and dad. Don’t miss me too much.” Alex tried to keep her voice steady and her words spoken in a joking manner but every time she says goodbye to any of her family, she can’t help but finding herself missing them before they’ve left. “I have work early, let me go Lex.” Jeni laughed and pried her sister off of her. “I love you, behave yourself.”

 

“Great. Now you sound like mom.” Alex rolled her eyes, “I love you too though. Text me when you’re home?” Alex held out her pinky and despite the childishness of it, Jeni hooked her own pinky around the brunette’s. “I promise, go and have fun with your friends, but work hard.” Alex nodded and waited until her sister’s car was out of sight before turning around and walking straight into Tobin. “Dude; I haven’t seen you for ages, with KO not here, you’re hardly around.” Tobin shoved her hands in her pockets, but she did have a point. Unless she had to be outside, she was at home, doing work, spending time with her roommates. After a minute, Alex noticed that Tobin was dressed up, “Date?”

 

“Yeah,” Tobin laughed looking down before back up. “Chris has been really stressed lately so I’m gonna take her out. Has Kell told you any more about her flight? She hasn’t text us since telling us it was canceled.” Alex shook her head, “No; that was the last thing she said to me.” Alex looks down at her phone but the only notification is a Snapchat from Syd. “Enjoy your date, I should get home.”

 

“Later Morgan.” Tobin throws a smile over her shoulder before she’s off on her way again. Alex figured since she skipped out on her afternoon classes, the only way for the guilt to fade would be to spend the next few hours in the library, catching up and working; she knows for a fact she isn’t going to get away with high grades without studying for the rest of the year. She grabs a cup of coffee, waves to the younger and much nicer librarian on her way upstairs and sits at a desk, turning the computer on and carefully planning out what assignments she hasn’t finished, which are due first and what tests she has coming up that she definitely has to study for. Once she’d finally figured it out, and had the first of three word documents open; her phone vibrated from where it was lying on the desk and as Alex glanced down and saw the incoming Facetime call; she sighed, and swore that Kelley only interrupts her when she’s trying to do her work.  Alex accepted the call nonetheless and smiled when she saw Kelley’s face light up, but the next thing Alex noticed. “Kell, why are you still in the airport?”

 

“We haven’t left.” She answered, “Our lecturer thinks he can get us another flight today but it’s nearly impossible.” Kelley yawns and repositions herself in the seat; Alex looks towards the screen and realizes she is not going to be finishing her assignments anytime soon. “So, anyway; how was your last day in D.C.?”

 

“It was mainly stuck in a conference room all morning as we had a lecture. I’m pretty sure I fell asleep.”

 

“Kell.” Alex gave the defender a stern look. “I can copy up the notes.” Kelley reminded her, shuffling around again as she let her head rest against her hand. “This is so boring; I just want to come home. It’s 11 PM and it feels like we’ve been stuck here forever.” Kelley complained, the tiredness in her voice starting to make an appearance. In the background, hums of agreement from the rest of the students on their trip were heard. “Tell me you’ve had a better day than me.”

 

“I have.” Alex smiled and set her phone up leaning against the computer, her assignments long forgotten about as she told Kelley about her day. Kelley was in the middle of talking about Halloween after Alex had casually brought it up when her concentration pattern changed and she shut up and listened to her lecturer, but Kelley did mumble out a quick ‘love you’ before ending the call; Alex wasn’t that concerned, it must’ve been important and so she took the lack of distraction to actually get on with her work. Kelley didn’t talk to her for another few hours and by that time; Alex had completed two assignments and called it a day, she gathered up her things and left the library, walking across campus and almost getting knocked down by a group of drunken frat boys on their way to a party, she also nearly tripped over the sidewalk as she crossed the road but she made it back to her apartment in one piece either way. “Disney or 90’s classics?” Morgan asked as soon as she walked through the door. “There is a right answer!” Syd called out from where she was sitting by the shelf of DVDs. “At this moment, 90’s classics.” Alex shrugged finally connecting that they wanted to watch a movie. “I told you Moe; us strikers stick together. Love ‘ya Al.”

 

“Love ‘ya too Syd.” Alex laughed as she placed her books down on the side and walked over to the couch, stealing some popcorn out of the bowl beside Julie. “Clueless or 10 Things I Hate About You?”

 

“Clueless!” The three yelled unanimously. They do end up watching 10 Things I Hate About You before all four pass out in the living room; halfway through, the third movie of the night which was Toy Story, the four are all huddled up on the same couch, limbs tangled and the empty bowl upside down a few feet from the couch. Its Julie who wakes up first and tidies up the living room before waking the rest up and telling them to go to bed, to which Syd protests that she isn’t tired but Morgan is already dragging her down to her room. Alex stands up and stretches, “I’m not as clueless as the rest of the team you know?”

 

“What?” Alex asked, pulling her hair out of its ponytail. “What you and Kelley have. I’ve seen Kelley for the last three years, through the good times and the bad but you bring out a side to her I’ve never seen, it’s a compliment.” Julie’s quick to add. “You’re having a positive impact on her, and I know you fell for her – that’s been obvious for weeks. I just don’t want to see either of you get hurt, KO wants to date you but she’s not been in a relationship since she came here. Just, just,” JJ started to struggle for the words she wanted to see and all the while she was thinking, Alex’s eyes never left her face. “Don’t expect a lot, it’ll take time.” Julie smiles softly before she’s heading off to the room leaving Alex standing by the couch with more questions than answers at that point. Alex does eventually head to the bedroom, checking her phone for anything but it’s only a text from Jeni to tell her she’s home and a few Facebook notifications. The forward spins around but Julie is fast asleep, the blankets pulled up to her chin, and so Alex concedes that she’s not going to be able to question her on it tonight. She pulls back her own covers and climbs into bed, and sleep takes over her almost immediately.

 

~

 

“Are you sure this is a good idea? You’ve only been back for an hour, you’re tired and if I haven’t mentioned it already; it’s 4:30 AM in the fucking morning.” Christen chides, hands on hips as she stares at Kelley moving around the kitchen, her backpack slung across the counter. Kelley sighs and turns around to face her best friend. “Chris; I never said it was a good idea, I just said it was an idea.”

 

“How much sleep have you had?”

 

“Four hours.” Kelley answers back with a shrug, “give or take an hour.” Kelley flashes Christen a smile as she finishes pouring coffee into the travel mugs. “Press, this only happens a few times a year and I know Alex is going to love it.”

 

“If she gets out of bed.” Christen rolls her eyes as she sits at the counter and watches Kelley brashly move around the kitchen. “You underestimate my abilities Chris.” Kelley smirked before laughing and zipping her backpack up. “If you’re going to lecture me can you make it quick,” Kelley stood across from Christen at the counter but the forward shook her head. “I’m not going to lecture you; it’s actually a cute idea. I wish Tobin would wake up that early to do it.”

 

“Wake her up; you wake up in the middle of the night.” Kelley suggested. “I wake up because you’re so loud.” Christen retaliated, but smiling nonetheless as she felt her annoyance fade away. “I’ve never seen you like this,”

 

“Alex is different.” Kelley responded nonchalantly. “Exactly Kell.” Christen sighs softly, “Alex is different. Out of all of the girls I’ve ever seen you with, none of them are like her, they’re trashy and rude and Alex is one of the nicest girl’s I’ve ever met. The last time I saw you like this was-”

 

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Kelley growls, pointing at Christen and scowling. “I wasn’t going to say it.” Christen continues, her own tone turning a little harsher. “I know you feel something for Alex but you haven’t dated anyone since then and I don’t want you to go and fuck things up, what if it doesn’t work out – you hold a grudge Kelley. It’s harder dating a teammate than having an ongoing fling with a girl on the swim team for a few months.” Kelley’s features softened and the defender sighed heavily, taking a seat at the counter. “You and Tobin, Ali and Ash-”

 

“Ali and Ash have been dating since they met, Tobin and I have loved each other for years. Remember, you only met Alex in August; it hasn’t even been two months since that party at Allie’s.” Christen’s tone isn’t accusatory, it isn’t condescending, it’s calm and it’s getting through to Kelley; Christen is the only person Kelley would let talk to her like this, about this. Christen is Kelley’s soulmate, because sometimes your soulmate isn’t the people you date but your best friend. People you instantly connect with and fall in love with the friendship you create. “I care about both of you. I don’t want to see either of you hurt.” Christen leant over and took Kelley’s hand in her own. “Don’t screw this up.” And Kelley shakes her head. “I won’t. I can’t.”

 

“Don’t fall asleep at the wheel, have fun and I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” Kelley mumbles and smiles as Christen heads back to bed, but Kelley doesn’t move from the counter. She fiddles with the straps of her backpack and realizes that everything Christen said was right, but that wasn’t going to stop her tonight. Standing up, Kelley slung her backpack over her shoulder and grabbed the two mugs and her ID, she swiped her car keys from the counter and she was out and ready to go and wake up Alex without giving her a heart attack. She got in her car and reveled in the beauty of her favorite thing before driving the short distance to the other building. She slowly walked into the building, taking a sip of the coffee in the turquoise patterned travel mug, remembering that Alex had staked claim to the purple one the last time they used them. She walked up the stairs and stood outside, she knew if Alex was asleep she’d be in such a deep sleep that she wouldn’t hear a text, but she didn’t want to risk scaring her so she chose to call her, waiting until the last possible minute to end the call before Alex could answer. She used Morgan’s key to walk into the apartment, silently reminding herself to thank Emily for swiping it from Morgan’s pocket the night before. Kelley closed the door over and dropped her backpack to the floor and kept the two mugs as she walked down the hall and slowly opened the door, Alex was sitting up scrolling through her phone, still looking brought down with sleep through the light on her phone screen. Kelley opened the door fully, “Morgan I swear if you’ve come in to complain about Syd’s snoring again, just bring a pillow and sleep on the floor.”

 

“I’ve shared a room with Syd, her snoring doesn’t really bother me.” Kelley smirked leaning against the doorframe as Alex snapped her head upwards. Her phone dropping out of her hands as she looked at Kelley, almost in disbelief that the defender was here and not in D.C. “Don’t scream,” Kelley warned as she walked into the room and put the two mugs on the nightstand. She sat on Alex’s bed, before looking over at Julie. “Don’t worry, she’s actually dead to the world when she sleeps.” With that Kelley pulls her head away from the sleeping blonde and kisses Alex, it’s quick and soft and Alex whines when Kelley moves back causing the defender to laugh. “I know, but I’m not getting involved in a heated make-out session with JJ right over there. Also, we have to go.” Kelley stood up and handed the purple travel mug to Alex before picking her own back up. “I suggest wearing something warm.” Is all she says before she leaves the room. Kelley is knelt by her backpack five minutes later when Alex walks out in leggings, Nike’s and a thick hoodie, and Kelley finds herself staring, “Like what you see KO?” Alex smirks and Kelley swallows thickly before standing up. “You wish Morgan.” She throws a green/red plaid blanket to Alex who catches it with her free hand as she takes another sip of coffee. She picks her backpack up and throws it over her shoulder before pulling her car keys out of her pocket. “Let’s go, we’re on a schedule.”

 

“Why did you drag me out of bed in the middle of the night?” Alex asked as they left the apartment. “I promised I’d take you on a date, didn’t I?” Kelley shoots back as the pair walk down the last couple of steps in the stairwell. “In the middle of the night?”

 

“Have you ever been on a date at 5 AM?” Kelley asks again as they exit the building and head over to the Civic. “No, of course I haven’t.” Alex answers back, a slight hint of sarcasm in her tone but that was because of the fact she was woken up and hadn’t finished the coffee yet. “Good.” Kelley smiles over the roof of the car. “I wanted to be the first.” And it’s those six words that has all of Alex’s built-up annoyance beginning to fade away as she gets in the car. “Where are we going?” She asks and Kelley tilts her head to the side as she starts the engine. “You’ll find out.” Kelley then turns fully to face Alex. “I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too.” Alex mumbles out as she brings the mug to her lips. Kelley just rolls her eyes playfully as she turns her attention to the road and starts driving, peaking Alex’s interest as the forward chooses to spend the majority of the drive staring out of the window, but still managing to blush like a lovesick fool when Kelley pulls her hand out of her lap, intertwines their fingers and lets their hands rest over the console. Kelley and Alex talk mindlessly about what’s happened since Kelley’s been away, Alex recalls what happened in Tuesday’s training session in more detail; the moral of the story, don’t challenge Ashlyn Harris to any sort of competition, and even more so when you’re Meghan Klingenberg and there’s an obvious height difference. As Kelley gets closer to their destination, Alex jolts forward when she finally recognizes where they’re heading. “I can’t believe you.”

 

“What?” Kelley laughs heartily as she watches Alex’s face continue to light up like a kid in a candy store. “You’re taking me to San Francisco for a date, in the middle of the night?”

 

“Only because it was too late to book flights to Paris.” Kelley shrugs with a straight face, but she’s thinking, and she’s thinking really far ahead when the word ‘honeymoon’ swirls around her head. “You’re ridiculous but I love ‘ya for it.” Alex teases as she leans over and lets her lips brush over Kelley’s cheek, the defender insisting she isn’t blushing and blaming it on the stuffiness of her car, Alex humors her; of course. “I also shouldn’t have expected anything other, this date just sums you up.” Alex speaks up again soon. Kelley flicked her eyes over and her expression showed nothing but full-blown offence. “No, I mean; it’s adventurous. Just like you.”

 

“Oh,” Kelley hummed. “In that case, you’re right.”  

 

They drive for a while, until Kelley decides she’s had enough driving and parks the car, just in a short walking distance of where she wants to be in less than an hour’s time. “Are you going to tell me why we had to be here this early, nowhere is open Kell.”

 

“Who said we were going inside?” Kelley asks with a smirk as she clutches her backpack and Alex has the blanket folded in her arms. The defender locks her car and walks around to Alex, taking her hand in her own and marveling in how stupidly perfectly their hands fit together. “What are we actually doing here so early?”

 

“Stop asking questions.” Kelley turns around and watches the smile falter on Alex’s face. “You’ll find out, it won’t be long.”

 

“Will it be as long as I had to wait for this date?” Alex asks, her familiar sassy personality beginning to shine through again. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?” Kelley asks, already knowing the answer. Alex answers with a dramatic and dragged out ‘no’, but Kelley’s attention is firmly on pulling Alex in all directions until she finds where she’s looking for. She leads them to a grassy, rocky, whatever it is; Alex feels her shoes getting dirtier with every step she takes, but her issue with her shoes are soon forgotten when she sees where she’s been led. The Golden Gate Bridge in all its glory is right in front of her, illuminated by the sky beginning to ascend into daylight. Alex is so lost in the magnitude of what she’s staring at that she doesn’t feel Kelley pulling the blanket out of her grip, instead she just stands and stares out; smiling at the sight in front of her; no matter how many photographs she’s seen or how many times her family have taken trips to San Francisco, she’s never seen the bridge like this before and it’s so beautiful to her, so much so that she’s rendered speechless by it.

 

“Like it?” Kelley’s voice finally brings Alex out of her self-entered trance and she turns around to find Kelley looking up at her smugly, knowing full-well that this would be the forward’s reaction, even though the view isn’t even the reason why they came up here. “Kell,” Alex breathes out slowly. “It’s beautiful.”

 

“I thought you’d say that. Sit down.” So Alex does, they sit with their knees touching and are silent for a moment. Alex is still staring out across at the scene in front of her, and Kelley who has seen many a San Francisco sunrise finds herself looking at Alex; entranced at the way Alex scrunches up her nose when she catches sight of a building, or the way she sighs contentedly. “Stop staring at me.”

 

“I wasn’t staring, although I’m starting to think my mom lied when she said I had to go to a museum to see art.”

 

“That was cheesy and you know it.” Alex deadpanned as she turned around to face Kelley, but the redness on her cheeks stated otherwise. Alex shuffles closer to Kelley and lets her head rest against the defender’s shoulder, finding comfort in the sweatshirt she was wearing, and that damned scent of peppermint that intoxicates the forward every single time. They talk about soccer for a while, mainly the next game against Cal that Alex is fighting hard for, Alex talks about how her ankle is feeling great, and that the added spice of playing against her former team gave her the motivation to work hard and get back from this injury quicker than she usually would. “I hope I play that game.”

 

“Why?” Alex asks her, “So I can kick the fucking shit out of Wilkinson.” Kelley spits the name as though it’s venom. Alex doesn’t offer up a reply, and Kelley is quick to notice. “She deserved to lose you after what she did.” Kelley offers up, and Alex nods but she’s sighing every other second as she presses her palms into the blanket underneath her and Kelley regrets bringing the subject up, but luckily for her, it’s time for the sunrise so Kelley taps Alex’s hand and points across to the sky through the bridge and Alex’s face lights up immediately at the array of magical colors taking over the sky in deep purples, bright oranges and soft pinks descending into dark. The sunrise doesn’t always look like this, sometimes it’s just quick and full of yellows and slight oranges but then a morning like this hits, and the colors in the sky are so beautiful that fathoming the words to describe it doesn’t come easy. “This is what you woke me up for.” It isn’t a question, it’s a statement and Kelley finds herself smiling as she utters out a small ‘yes’ in response. “Maybe dragging me out for a date at 5AM wasn’t the worst thing in the world.” Alex says softly, her eyes never leaving the sky, and if Kelley stood up to take a picture of Alex staring at the sunrise, that was okay too. They stay sitting for a while, until the first signs that the city is becoming busy in the morning rush are heard and that’s when they decide to pack up and go to get breakfast.

 

They’re walking for a while when they stop outside a quaint breakfast place, so much so that it looks out of place in a street of sky high buildings but before Kelley can even ask whether this was the place, Alex was dragging her by the hand inside, not that Kelley would’ve argued on the subject in the first place. They sit towards the back of the restaurant, opposite each other but Alex wasted no time in reaching across to loosely lace hers and Kelley’s hands together. “There’s an arcade not too far from here, can we go?” Alex breaks the silence first and Kelley’s looking up giving her a bemused look and raised eyebrows. “You’re an actual child.” Is the only thing she says. “So” Alex continues, “Is that a yes or no?”

 

“Yes Alex. I will fulfill your childish need to go and play arcade games that nobody ever wins at.”

 

“Let me guess, you tried and failed over a hundred times as a kid to get something out of the claw machines?” Alex is struggling to hold back her laughter, but she can’t help laughing when Kelley grumbles out a response. “Babe, I was actually pretty good at the claw machines.”

 

“Don’t rub it in,” Kelley rolled her eyes. “I was going to say I’ll win one for you, but fine.”

 

“Can you win me Stitch?” Kelley asked, and Alex just laughed. “Sure babe, I’ll win you Stitch.”

 

Alex sends off a quick text to Julie to tell her where she is and who she’s with – in case they decide to send out a search party for her, like they nearly did the last time Alex disappeared during the middle of the night.

 

~

 

After breakfast and five minutes of persistent begging; Kelley gives in and heads over to the arcade Alex was talking about, and watching the smile burst onto her face at the sight of the venue; Kelley realized she’d happily lose every single game if Alex’s smile never left her face, and for the first three games that’s what she does; Kelley could’ve easily kicked Alex’s ass at basketball but she missed the last three throws stating that the kid beside her was putting her off giving the forward a comfortable win in the end. Kelley could’ve easily won at Pac-Man but she didn’t, and she could definitely have won at the soccer game towards the back of the arcade. “Stop doing that.” Alex deadpanned after Kelley conveniently let in the third goal during the game of air hockey. “What am I doing?” She questioned, “Losing on purpose.” And Kelley didn’t even mind that Alex called her out, neither did she argue the case. “You want competitiveness?” Kelley smirked at the brunette opposite her. “You’re on Morgan.”

 

The game heated up almost immediately and within a minute; Kelley was back on level terms in the game. “This is my Kelley.” Alex laughed as she let in the third goal in about forty seconds, and the defender froze up at the words, and in that instant; Alex slotted in the fourth goal and wasted no time in celebrating and bragging to Kelley, and that’s when it hit Kelley. “You put me off!” She exclaimed, “I never said I’d play fairly, I just wanted you to actually play.” Alex shrugged before smiling sweetly at Kelley who just laughed and walked around to Alex. “So, claw machines? I believe I was promised Stitch.”

 

“I promised nothing.” Alex smirked but headed over to the claw machines anyway. “I haven’t played these since I was a kid. I hope I’m not too rusty.”

 

“I bet you get it first time.” Kelley shrugged, standing beside Alex as she tried to get a Stitch for her loveable dork of a teammate. Alex did get the toy the first time around, and Kelley refused to let go of it, parading it around like it was the best thing in the world. “Kell, put the damn toy down and eat.” Alex shook her head at Kelley trying to eat her lunch with one arm still tightly wrapped around the toy. “Kell. I will take it off you.”

 

“Fine,” she mumbled and placed the toy on the chair beside her and started to eat lunch. “So, was this your plan all along, the date I mean.”

 

“San Francisco, yes. Waking you up at a stupid hour? No.”

 

“Why then?” Alex questioned her, “Because after my flight was canceled I was pissed off, I felt like if I didn’t take you out on a date today you’d get mad at me so as soon as I got back, I decided to just do it because if I fell asleep I knew I’d sleep for the whole day.”

 

“I wouldn’t have minded…” Alex trailed off. “It’s not your fault that your flight was canceled.” But all Kelley did was shrug in return and not voice a response.

 

After lunch, the pair left the arcade with Alex finally convincing Kelley to put the toy in the car so she wasn’t carrying it around for the rest of the day. After that, they headed down to the pier and spent the next couple of hours weaving in and out of people, taking stupid pictures to send to their friends and when they ended up at the beach, Kelley fell quiet and instead of talking Alex’s ear off about anything that came to mind, she let the forward talk and Kelley just watched her, watched the way her hands moved and her arms flailed as she talked about whatever it was, if anything the defender had zoned out and couldn’t help but feel her heart soar at the girl in front of her; Christen’s right, Kelley hasn’t felt like this for a while, in fact, the defender had almost forgot what it felt like to feel something like this for anyone, it should scare her, it should make Kelley want to run away and not look back, but Kelley can only feel herself being pulled closer to Alex, so much that the thought of ever leaving her would break her heart a million times over. Alex was in the middle of talking more about her sister’s visit when Kelley leans forward and captures Alex’s lips in her own, cutting her off. The kiss was short and sweet but as Kelley leans back, Alex is smiling goofily at her. “You were saying?”

 

“I forgot.” Alex frowned, creasing her eyebrows as she tried to remember what part of her story she was up to, and Kelley was no help. “We should head back, we have training in a couple of hours.” Kelley stood up and extended her hand to Alex who took it and stood up. Kelley started walking but Alex didn’t move, instead she pulls Kelley closer to her and kisses her, stronger than before and she certainly doesn’t care about the two five year old boys standing near them making disgusted sounds at two people kissing and calling out that ‘kissing is gross’. “Today was the best date I’ve ever been on; even if you did wake me up in the middle of the night.”

 

“It wasn’t too much? I haven’t been on a date in a while.” Kelley’s voice was small and she felt nervous as she scratched the back of her neck. “Kell, hey; it was perfect. It was fun and that’s how I like my dates, and I’m not just talking about the activities.” Alex smirked waiting the twenty or so seconds for Kelley to realize what she’d meant and once she did, Alex was convinced Kelley’s smile couldn’t get any bigger. “Your cheeks are gonna hurt, stop smiling so much. You look like a chipmunk.”

 

“Is this how you treat your dates?” Kelley asked in mock offence. “Only the ones I love most.” Alex grinned as she took Kelley’s hand in her own and they headed back to the car. “If I lie down on the pitch and sleep during training do you think Paul will kill me?”

 

“If he finds out I’m the reason why you’re tired then he probably will.” It was said in a joking manner but the hint of seriousness was loosely laced in Kelley’s tone. It’s not that things had been bad during training, but there were still unresolved issues.

 

Driving back to Stanford; Alex recorded six videos of Kelley singing different Queen songs; including Bohemian Rhapsody which Alex has now claimed to be her favorite and best video for blackmail, to which Kelley cockily replied. “You only hate me because you could never do it.” To which Alex doesn’t even argue. “Kell, you looked like you were about to pass out after singing it, I’ve never seen your face so red.” Alex continued to tease her favorite defender. “You only had to ask.” Kelley smirked and this time it was Alex who took a few seconds to catch on and once she did she hid her face behind her hands and groaned. “Damnit Kelley.” And the defender’s laugh resonated throughout the car only making Alex blush more.

 

They arrived back at Kelley’s apartment building with just under an hour and a half before training. They got out of the car and Alex walked around, “I don’t care if I’ve said it enough but today was worth the long wait.”

 

Kelley wanted to ask her, the question was on the tip of her tongue but as she looked at Alex, saw the way the forward was looking back at her, Kelley’s confidence faltered and she swallowed thickly before nodding. “So does that mean I get a second date?”

 

“We’ll see.” Alex shrugged and smirked and Kelley thought, sure, she could wait to ask Alex to be her girlfriend. “So, can we go upstairs so I can nap?”

 

“I was thinking the same thing.” Kelley hummed in agreement as she and Alex entered the building and headed upstairs to the apartment; Kelley had only just opened the door when two people seated on the couch turned around and Kelley swore she felt her heart stop at the sight of her parents. “Oh shit.” She muttered, her hand instantly dropping out of Alex’s. “Kelley.” Dan O’Hara stood up and turned to face his daughter, scowling at her. “Kelley, sweetheart; we need to talk.” Karen continued, her voice and facial expression softer than that of her husband’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual, comments & kudos are always appreciated and hit me up on tumblr, i answer everything!


	17. I'm Attracted To My Sidekick

Kelley is silent; she looks between both of her parents, carefully avoiding staring too long before ducking her head and feeling the urge to kick out at Christen’s shoes placed neatly near the door. “Kell, did you hear us?” Her mom’s voice is gentle and calming, everything she’s been used to but she knows it won’t last for long and that’s why the defender’s go-to reaction is to scoff and finally bring her head back up to look at them. “I heard you.” The words come out harsher than she intended to and her mom looks taken aback, before letting her shoulders drop as she realizes there is a reason that this is the first time they’ve seen each other since the end of July. Alex’s hand brushes against Kelley’s and that’s when she remembers that the forward is actually beside her, and turning around all Kelley can do is offer her a sad smile. “Do you mind?” Her voice is soft, unlike the way she spoke to her mom, and Alex just nods. “I’ll just go and hang with Syd for a while.” Alex starts to lean in before thinking better of it and just turning and heading back down the stairwell. Kelley watched her go before turning around, arms folded and staring at her parents waiting for them to spill the real reason that they’re here. “Why haven’t you spoken to your Aunt? The wedding is only a month away Kelley.”

 

“Let me think.” Kelley replied, monotone and straight-faced. “That’s right. I have no intentions to go back to Georgia.” Kelley in the process of speaking walked into the apartment and threw herself down in the armchair, taking more of an interest in the chipped teal nail polish on her left thumb. “You’re really going to disappoint Drew on his wedding day? You two were best friends growing up.” Karen’s voice was filled with hurt, but Kelley could see right through her; she wasn’t hurt over the possibility of Kelley not being there for her cousin. “I’m sorry mom, by not going am I ruining the perfect family dynamic we have going on? Even though everyone knows we don’t fucking have one.”

 

“Kelley!” Dan immediately berates his daughter, and Kelley is quick to stand up and stand in front of her dad, her face turning red as she scowls heavily at him. “What?” She questions him. “You want me to spend a weekend in Atlanta and pretend that everything between us is fine, when it’s fucking not. There’s a reason I left and you know exactly what it is. I’m fucking happy here.” Kelley manages, unbeknown to her but she’s able to keep her voice at a steady and level register, matching the same hard facial expression of her dad as the pair stare at each other, each waiting for the other to say something. “That’s enough you two.” Karen finally steps in and pushes the pair apart. “Kelley, you’re coming to this wedding, you know when it is. I expect you to be there.” Unlike with her dad, Kelley finds herself listening to the soft raspiness of her mom’s voice and nodding slowly. “Fine.” She mumbles, refusing to look up. “I’m bringing a date.” Is the last thing she says to her parents before she leaves them and heads down the hallway to her own bedroom.

 

It’s at least twenty minutes later when her bedroom door swings open and Christen stands in the doorway, a nervous look in her eyes and a sympathetic smile on her face. “I just saw your parents; does your dad ever look happy anymore?”

 

“Not since he realized just how much of a disappointment his daughter is.” Kelley shoots back, throwing the small plush soccer ball against the opposite wall. Christen walks into the room, but not before closing the door over and joining Kelley on her bed. Christen hesitates upon speaking, she knows more than anyone just how much of a touchy subject Kelley’s family can be, she’s seen the defender at her worst when it came to them, the July night when Kelley turned up at her house still sticks out. “I just don’t get it.” Kelley’s the first to speak up again. “My mom thinks the wedding is going to solve everything, but she can’t take back what she said that night, neither can my dad – even though I’m sure he doesn’t want to. I don’t want to have to spend the weekend pretending we’re the perfect family she wants us to be.” Kelley’s voice is tired, her eyes glistening with the hurt the last three months have brought her. “Are you going to take Alex?” Christen asks, moving her hand to brush Kelley’s hair out of her face and behind her ear. “At least she’d give you a reason to avoid your parents, not Erin and Jerry though; I know you miss them.”

 

“What if she says no?” Kelley asks and Christen inadvertently laughs before biting her lip to stop herself. “I’m sorry; but Alex won’t say no, unless she already has something planned.” Christen goes on to explain. “How can you be sure?” Kelley asks, narrowing her eyes. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”

 

“… I fucking hate this.” Kelley mutters but the crack in her voice doesn’t go unmissed. “I’ve got you; I’ve had your back throughout all of this.” Christen tries to soothe her, but deciding words are pointless now she just wraps her arms around her best friend, like she spent the harder nights in LA doing.

 

Eventually, Kelley feels okay enough to not feel like crying but there’s still the underlying anger in her veins and Tobin and Alyssa know the wrong word will set her off and spend the next twenty minutes skirting around her, only saying one or two words before it’s time to head across to training. Kelley walks ahead, lost in her own head as Maloney Field comes into view. Alex is walking with Julie, the defender finally hearing the last remaining details of her date when Kelley walks past her without so much as a glance. “Kell?”

 

“Leave her; she’s in a bad mood.” Christen’s voice comes from behind as she gives Alex a small smile. “Her parents?” Alex asks and Christen looks surprised for a minute but just nods before hanging back and waiting for Tobin to catch up to her. Alex watches, squinting slightly to find Kelley standing in the middle of Emily and Morgan, there’s a smile on her face but by the look of it; Emily is seeing straight through her. “I have been waiting for this game all season. You’re going to kill them all on your own.” Alex turned around and rolls her eyes at the smirk on Tobin’s face. “Oh sure, I’m going to singlehandedly score seven goals and keep a clean sheet, I’m a real one woman team.” The sarcasm is dripping from her voice but the flash of competitiveness in her eyes doesn’t go unmissed by the midfielder. “I wouldn’t put it past you, the scoring I mean. You’re hopeless in goal.” Tobin wraps her arm around Alex’s shoulders. “You’re not much better.” It’s a lame argument but it’s all Alex has. Kelley is off to the side alone now, juggling a ball to herself and Alex finds herself staring, but not the heart eyes she usually finds herself giving Kelley, but concern, she just wants to go over and talk to her, ask her what happened, she wants her to not be closed off.

 

It’s halfway through the fourth training drill when Kelley swipes the ball from Alyssa’s hand and spikes it as hard as she can before she starts yelling at Ali, and it’s completely out of the blue, except Ali doesn’t flinch, she barely even responds; she just lets Kelley shout at her and once she’s done she has the shorter defender by the arm and she’s talking to her, calmly and it’s not long before Paul’s calling for her and Kelley’s dragging her feet across the pitch until she’s beside him, and Alex is watching everything until the pass from Syd hits her and she drags her eyes away from the scene. Alex’s focus falls on the ball settled at her feet and she takes a swing and doesn’t even react when the ball sails over Syd’s head and the striker makes a huge deal about storming across the pitch to go and retrieve the ball from the wayward pass, Alex takes this as her excuse to turn around and notice that Kelley’s no longer talking to Paul, in fact, she’s no longer in sight. “She’ll be in the locker room.” Alex jumps at Ali’s voice and the defender is smiling widely at her but the lost look in her eyes is noticeable. “She sometimes does this, she hasn’t done it as often since she met you but sometimes she’ll flip out during training.” Ali says with a shrug, as though before this seemed to be a regular occurrence. “She’s not the greatest at controlling her emotions.”

 

“Is that why you didn’t flinch when she shouted at you?” Alex’s question was voiced carefully, and Alex didn’t dare look up. “I could see it coming, for a few minutes before she was scratching at her wrist, she does that to try and calm herself down but I could see it wasn’t working, I knew she’d flip soon.” Ali let her hand rest on Alex’s shoulder momentarily, “You should go and talk to her.”

 

“But-” Alex started to protest but Ali was already being called back over by Becky. Alex watched her go with furrowed eyebrows, before turning and looking over towards the touchline where the subtlest of nods from Paul gave Alex the answer she didn’t realize she was looking for. Alex slowly walks across the field, well aware of the majority of her teammates’ eyes on her as she walks over to Paul, slowing down as she approaches him but he doesn’t even bat an eyelid as Alex walks past him and down into the locker room. There are bottles of Gatorade and water thrown across the room, Kelley’s bag is thrown towards the door and she is pacing the full length of the room, clenching her fists and releasing them every few seconds or so. Alex slowly walks in and Kelley stops when she sees her, “I don’t want to talk about it.” She says as she sits down, leaning forward on her arms as she stares straight ahead, her breathing starting to steady as she closes her eyes. Alex doesn’t move, she feels at a loss for words, well, she has twenty questions swimming in her head but she can’t ask any of them. When Kelley does open her eyes and says something, it’s not what Alex expects. “Want to be my wedding date?” It’s really not what Alex expects, and Kelley goes onto explaining when she catches the confusion etched on the forward’s face. “My cousin’s wedding is in a few weeks, and I have to go. I need a date.”

 

Alex doesn’t want to answer the question, she really doesn’t want to talk about the wedding; she wants to know what happened with Kelley’s parents, she wants to know why Kelley flipped out, she wants to know why she can see the hurt in her eyes. “Okay.” She answers, “I’ve never been to a wedding. It could be fun.” Alex shrugs and she slides across the locker room and sits beside Kelley. “I know you want to know what happened, but that’s it; they came to talk me into going to the wedding and we fought, _again_.” Kelley laughs bitterly and there’s something about the way she says it that has Alex realizing there’s an entirely different side to Kelley that she’s almost too scared to delve into, and remembering back to what Ali was saying about Kelley scratching at her wrist, Alex looked at the now dried blood on her wrist, and the scratches that were still there. “We need to go and get our costumes. Halloween is in two days after all.”

 

“You have them?” Alex asked, she tries to keep her voice free of nerves but the glimmer in Kelley’s eyes can only spell out trouble. “They better be tasteful.” Is all she says, and Kelley laughs. “You’ll love them, I promise.” Kelley leans over and kisses Alex’s cheek before she stands up and goes to grab her bag.

 

“I promise Al, you’re going to love them.” Kelley laughs as she walks into the shop, her hands covering the forward’s eyes, but all Alex does is scoff when Kelley abruptly stops and Alex bangs her knee against a metal bar. “Fuck off Kelley.”

 

“Not my fault.” She lets her hands fall from Alex’s eyes and watches the realization dawn on the forward’s face. “You’re kidding me.” She deadpans but Kelley just shakes her head, “You’re seriously telling me our Halloween costumes are Batman and Robin?” Alex’s voice is high-pitched and in disbelief as the costumes hang in front of her. “Let me guess, I’m Robin?”

 

“You’re not cool enough to be Batman.” Kelley grins as she takes down the Robin costume and hands it to Alex. “I thought you were going to get a couples costume.” Alex huffs as she walks towards the dressing room. “Al,” Kelley chuckles as she settles herself in a chair. “Have you ever seen Batman?” Her tone suggestive as she talks and she hears a faint “Shut up” as Alex pulls the curtain across. Alex struggles to put the costume on, falling forward and hitting the wall of the dressing room a number of times before she stands in front of the mirror with the mask in her hand. In all honesty, Alex should’ve expected Kelley to end up choosing a costume like this. She sighs and puts the mask on, laughing at how stupid she looks before she’s pulling the curtain across and stepping out in front of Kelley. “Well?”

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more attracted to you.” Kelley manages to say with a straight face, but Alex can see her trying hard to stifle her laughter. “I’m attracted to my sidekick; Batman would’ve taken an interesting turn if this was actually the case.” Kelley continued and Alex just rolled her eyes as she walked over and sat down in the defender’s lap. “We’re going to be the best dressed couple there.” Kelley purred, nuzzling her nose against Alex’s jaw. Alex stands up, “Go and put the costume on Kell, seeing as you’re _cool enough._ ” Kelley doesn’t make any effort to move, instead she just smirks up at Alex, letting her hand rest on the forward’s hip, tracing invisible shapes across the fabric of the costume. “Get your mind out of the gutter KO.” Alex tells her, scrunching her nose up before laughing and swapping with Kelley and sitting in the chair. Alex is scrolling through her phone when she hears the (worst) impression, “I’m Batman.”

 

“Oh my god.” Is all Alex can utter at the sight of Kelley dressed as Batman. “So, how do I look?”

 

“I am speechless.”

 

“I do have that effect on girls.” Kelley chuckled as she copied Alex’s previous action and threw herself down in Alex’s lap, the forward’s arms instantly wrapping around her. “What happened with your parents? I know you talked about the wedding but – why don’t you talk about them?” Alex asked, the question was slow and hesitated halfway through wondering whether it was even a good idea to bring it up. Kelley sighs and lets her face nudge against Alex’s neck as she mumbles out an incoherent answer. Alex runs her hand up and down Kelley’s back, “It’s nothing, they hate me and I hate them.” And it’s not the answer Alex was looking for but hearing the tiredness in Kelley’s voice as she spoke Alex figured that as the best she was going to get.

 

~

 

“You’re going to kill them.” Morgan shrugged as the three roommates walked across campus, the sun beating down on them as they headed to their respected afternoon classes. “Don’t get me wrong, I love your confidence Moe; but no.” Alex shrugged, laughing as she put the straw to her lips. “Why not? They haven’t won any of their last six games.”

 

“You know that, how?” Syd asked, eyebrows creased as Morgan smiled. “I overheard Alyssa and Tobin talking about it. Heath is rooting for you to destroy them, you know.”

 

“I know.” Alex replied, “It’ll be weird to play them though, right?”

 

“Awkward.” Alex shrugged, “I practically left those girls without a reason why. Only two actually know the real reason I left.”

 

“What are you going to do about Hannah?” Syd asked, ignoring Morgan’s pleading eyes for her to not bring up the Cal forward. Alex laughed slightly and stopped walking, turning around to face her two friends. “I don’t have to do anything about her, I think Kell has that one covered. See you guys later.” Alex threw a wave over her shoulder, and headed towards her final class of the day, feeling tired and not wanting to suffer through another hour at all. During the rest of the walk to her class, Alex silently hoped that Kelley would text her or turn up beside her and ask her to blow off class even though Alex knew agreeing would be the worst idea she could possibly come up with, she was desperate to not spend an hour listening to her lecturer struggle to convey his point whilst simultaneously forget how to use his laptop. When Alex had her hand on the door to her class, she knew she was going to have to suffer through the hour whether she liked it or not.

 

She walked into the room and dropped her folder onto the table, neglecting to notice the cup of coffee already where she sat, it took her a further ten seconds to study it, and to realize that it was in fact still hot. Turning the cup around, she saw a smiley face scribbled on it, it was slightly smudged and Alex didn’t even need time to think before she realized who had left it there.

 

_You have the grossest coffee order. – Defender Extraordinaire_

 

If Alex had any suspicions left, they were confirmed in that single text. Alex didn’t have a second to respond when a harsh, rough voice filled the room and Alex spent the next fifty minutes trying to focus on the lecture notes in front of her, but she’d be lying if anything actually went in. The empty coffee cup was on the table beside her, and she kept looking at the smiley face, it was a simple drawing but it made the forward unprecedently happy.

 

“BOO!”

 

Alex didn’t flinch and instead turned around, tilted her head to the side and said with the least amount of enthusiasm she could, “Oh Kell, you scared me.”

 

“Liar,” Kelley muttered but still stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Alex lazily, letting her face nuzzle into the forward’s neck.

 

~

 

“IT’S FUCKING GAME DAY.”

 

“Do you think she’s psyched?” Julie asked leaning over to Alex who responded with a simple shrug. “Let’s test it.” Julie didn’t contest her and Alex proceeded in grabbing Morgan’s attention. “Moe, who are we?”

 

“Stanford.”

 

“I can’t hear you.” The forward sang, tilting her head to the side to let it rest on Julie’s shoulder. “We. Are. Fucking. Stanford.” Morgan punctuated every word, leaning closer to Alex as she did so. “Are you sure?” Alex continued to press her, at that moment Sydney had walked into view. “Syd! It’s fucking game day!”

 

“I don’t care what day it is until I’ve had coffee.” She dismissed her. “It’s fucking derby day!” Morgan exclaimed, hopping up onto the counter and smiling gleefully over her shoulder, batting her eyelashes in Alex’s direction. “Alex is gonna score a hattie and we’re all going to get sloshed in true Halloween style.” A crash from the opposite side of the kitchen had three sets of eyes on Syd as she turned around slowly, a sheepish smile on her face. “How long do you think-”

 

“SYDNEY RAE LEROUX IF YOU DON’T ANSWER THE DOOR THIS SECOND I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.”

 

“It’ll be until Allie kills me…” Syd finished, trailing off as she let her eyes linger on the door. “Syd, what the fuck did you do to her?” Alex asked, trying hard to stifle her laughter at the color continuing to drain from the striker’s face. “We have a game today right? Also, our Halloween party is tonight and I promised Allie I’d spend the morning helping her and a few others set up and I may have overslept?” Syd offered, cringing at the loud knocking coming from the door and Allie’s colorful use of curse words. “SYD!” Morgan hopped off the counter and walked up to the door, she looked back at the three roommates before pulling open the door and allowing a raging Allie Long to storm into the apartment, Syd screamed before ducking behind and pulling Alex’s arm in a way it just wasn’t meant to be pulled. After sneaking a look at Allie who was standing with her hands on her hips and staring down Sydney with as much ferocity as the midfielder could at 7:30 AM. “Syd.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Do you know how long I have been awake? Do you know how long I have been cutting out decorations? Do you know how many times I’ve tripped over the tangled spiders web?”

 

“No, but you’re going to tell me, right?”

 

“Damn fucking straight.” Allie huffed, “Since 4:30 AM, for two hours and at least ten. You are so dead.” Allie deadpanned and Syd tried to stand up, too quickly and smacked her head into Alex’s back, not only sending the brunette jolting forward but Syd stumbling into Julie. “Oh god, I can’t even be mad at you because you end up doing something stupid.” Allie’s voice was lifted off the initial annoyance and built-up frustration, and instead the blonde was starting to struggle to hide her smile. “Just come and help me decorate before I ship you back to fucking Canada.”

 

“Anything for you _princess._ ” Syd quipped, sticking her tongue out, and enjoying watching Allie tense up. “You’ll regret that _sunshine._ ” Allie replied, a spring in her step as she tugged on Sydney’s sleeve and pulled her to the door, the striker turning around and mouthing kill me as Allie pulled her out of the apartment. “Princess? Sunshine?”

 

“There’s a story, I promise.” Julie chuckled as she stood up to put her cup in the dishwasher.

 

~

 

The locker room was loud, the players were bouncing around, all psyching themselves up for the most anticipated game of the season. Syd had been in control of the music since she got into the locker room, bumping Ali out of the way, and turning the music up so loud it was resonating off the walls. “Come on Al, smile.”

 

Alex looked up from her phone to find Kelley stood in front of her, head tilted to the side with her hand outstretched towards her. “Dance with me.” Kelley suggested, and Alex didn’t even think about declining the offer, figuring to herself that she needed something to get her hyped up, and if dancing like a fool was to be it, she would give it a shot. She left her phone on the bench and placed her hand in Kelley’s, allowing the defender to pull her up and snake her arm around Alex’s waist, pulling her in ever closer. Kelley knew this was potentially her chance to ask Alex to be her girlfriend, after all, in Kelley’s mind, there was nothing better than being able to rub that simple fact in Hannah’s face, not that her intentions were all for the defender being as smug as she could be. “Alex-” Kelley starts but the forward is already being pulled away by Syd to dance in the middle of the locker room as they scream out the lyrics, the wrong lyrics, but still the lyrics to the current song. Kelley turns her head to find Christen shaking her head in her direction, “do it.” She mouths and Kelley nods, and so Kelley ducks between Syd and Alex and grabs the brunette’s hand, pulling her closer to her, “Alex.” Kelley states but the forward can’t hear her over the music, and so Kelley tries twice before to grab her attention and drag Alex out of the current conversation she was having with Tobin. “ALEX WILL YOU JUST BE MY GIRLFRIEND?!” Kelley shouts as the music cuts off, and the defender immediately shrinks under the smirks and knowing glances of their teammates. “Smooth KO.” Sonnett laughed, Alex hadn’t yet replied and was instead still looking in Kelley’s direction, slack-jawed and a whole lot of confusion etched on her face. “I’ll give you an answer after the game.” Alex shrugged, lifting Kelley’s head up and smiling.

 

It was all smiles before kickoff, especially for Alex to be reunited with Hope and Rachel, the latter wasting no time in racing towards and crashing into Alex when she finally spotted her amongst the Stanford side. Alex stumbled backwards and tried to keep her balance as she adjusted her position and caught the blonde. “Fraternizing with the enemy, Rach haven’t you learnt?”

 

“Shut it Solo.”

 

For a brief second, Alex allowed her eyes to close and listening to Rachel and Hope bicker like children took her back to Berkeley, it took her back to sitting in the locker room as the pair would argue over each other’s accents and use of vocabulary. “Red doesn’t suit you.” Alex was back and realizing that Rachel was tugging the collar of her jersey and throwing up a look of distain towards the cardinal red she was sporting. “Your accent doesn’t suit you.”

 

“Fight me Solo. Hey Al?” Rachel tapped against the brunette’s shoulder, “go easy on us, we all know Solo’s losing her touch.” Rachel teased, “How many games has she been your roommate for Hope?” Alex asked, “the last four away games.” The keeper muttered.

 

“I say we just kill them.” Tobin suggested as the team stood around in the huddle, “We’re definitely not doing that.” Becky shot down their star midfielder. “What we are going to do is use Alex to drag the defense out of position…” Becky went on to explain that using Alex would free up opportunities to Amy and Syd. “You’ve got this Morgan.” Tobin encouraged, slinging her arm around Alex’s shoulders. “Thanks Heath.” Tobin had jogged away and Kelley was beside Alex immediately. “Stop looking at her, she’ll put you off.”

 

“I’m not looking at her.” Alex pouted, watching as Hannah absentmindedly nodded in response to what Steph McCaffrey was saying to her as she redid her hair into a ponytail. “Kiss me Alex.”

 

“What?” Alex asked, snapping her neck towards Kelley who was giving her a lopsided smile, “Nothing. Just wanted you to stop staring at her.” Kelley shrugged and Alex’s features softened, “Uh, yeah, thanks Kell.” Alex furrowed her eyebrows, giving one last glance to Wilkinson before focusing on the game which was seconds from kicking off.

 

The game started off as a cagey affair, neither team venturing too far into the others’ box, a few rough challenges that epitomized the nature of a derby game, Tobin being the first and second recipient, and Syd being charged into and knocked to the ground roughly within the first fifteen minutes. Paul was standing on the sideline, his hands cupping his mouth as he continued to scream a number of instructions at his team, his eyes scanning all areas of the field as Berkeley refused to give up possession, despite the lazy tackles and man-to-man marking from the midfield. A corner to Berkeley.

 

“WATCH THEM!” Alyssa yelled at her teammates, her hands in the air as Berkeley’s number 11 jogged over to take the corner, out of the corner of her own eye, Alex could see Kelley stuck to Hannah’s side like glue, not giving the forward any space to get past her. The corner swings into the box and it bounces around the area until Becky sticks her foot out and sends the ball soaring out of play for a throw-in. “Great job Em.” Alyssa places blame on the junior defender, scolding her for not marking Daly better. Emily turns around to say something but Becky is already pushing her away, “save the arguing for halftime.”

 

It only takes until five minutes later when Cal take the lead, and it’s McCaffrey who scores from a through ball from the midfield, and it’s Kelley who is wound up the most by the goal, she narrows her eyes and sets her sights, she’s pissed and she’s about to unleash it. Tobin is tackled and takes her time getting up, before setting the ball down, her eyes scanning her teammates making their way into the box, until she spots Alex and gestures for her to join her. “Stay on the wing.” Alex doesn’t question her and does so, she stands on the left side, her left heel placed on the sideline, and Tobin keeps her focus forward, barely even looking in Alex’s direction as the referee sorts the wall out. The whistle blows, and Tobin sends a loop pass out wide to Alex who brings it down and skips past the right back before sending a cross into the box, slipping as she does so, leaning on her elbows, she watches as Syd leaps above the defender, and heads the ball downwards into the corner before Hope Solo can stop it, and Tobin is heading straight to Alex with a smug smile on her face. “I never said you had to score.” And Alex is hugging her before their teammates catch up and celebrate the equalizer with them.

 

Kelley’s at fault twice within the next eight minutes, tackling Rachel Daly twice and conceding two free kicks that Alyssa got fingertips on to send over the bar. In the 38th minute, the worst happened, the play froze as Kelley slid in and sent Hannah Wilkinson tumbling across the field, a scream of agony heard from every stand as Kelley dropped her head, she knew what was coming, Paul knew what was coming, everybody there knew what was coming. Kelley didn’t respond when the red card was shown, instead she just looked at Hannah and seemingly shrugged before heading towards the sidelines, Cheney wrapping her arm around her shoulders and giving her some rushed advice until she got to the sideline, ducking past Paul and hugging Christen quickly, Christen pulled Kelley down to the locker room and didn’t appear again before halftime. Halftime came and the score was level, Alex slowly exited the field, her eyes trailing over Hannah as she limped off the field with Steph’s help, holding her arm. “She probably fucking deserved it.” Syd shrugged from beside Alex as the pair headed into their own locker room. “Still, when Kell said she had it covered, that’s not what I expected.”

 

“Clearly, you don’t know Kelley as well as the rest of us. This is normal, she once did it to the girl Emily was after last year.” Syd laughed slightly, “She’s like an overprotective sister, or in your case, an overprotective girlfriend.”

 

Kelley was nowhere to be found at halftime, and Christen wasn’t up for spilling where she’d disappeared to. Changes were made at halftime, Amy was subbed for Christen, Sam was subbed for Morgan and Allie was pushed back into defense to cover the left side that Kelley had left a gap in. The second half begun in the same way the first half ended, Berkeley on top once again. The defense was being tested from all angles, Becky heading away cross after cross, Alyssa commanding her backline and penalty area with more ferocity than she had since the season started. Alex had two attempts on goal saved by Hope in the space of four minutes, and as time drew on, tensions grew higher, shots became rushed and were sent high and wide, and tempers grew shorter, more so when Alex had to wrap her arms around Syd’s shoulders and drag her away from the referee before she also got a red card. “I know, but dude, chill.” Alex whispered in her ear before pushing her away. Minutes after dragging Syd away from arguing, Alex finds herself in the exact same situation, if you substitute the referee for Hannah Wilkinson. It’d been brewing, Alex knew it wouldn’t be long until her bottled up emotions in the lead-up to the game got the better of her. Which is why it came to not so many of her teammates surprise that after Hannah had yanked Alex back by the back of her jersey, her hand gripping the fabric like she did when they celebrated Berkeley goals together, it was that one gesture that caused the forward to snap. She spins around, her jersey falling easily from Hannah’s grip, and she’s seething, she’s glaring and she’s seconds away from shoving the New Zealander to the ground in a fit of rage. “What the fuck is your problem Wilkinson?!”

 

Hannah isn’t ready to back down either, “Oh please. You used to love it when I gripped your jersey.” She reaches forward and bunches the hem of Alex’s jersey in her hand, and Alex’s breath hitches in her throat. Hannah lifts her head, staring into Alex’s eyes. “Just. Like. This.” She punctuates every word, and Alex doesn’t dare react for a second, she flicks her eyes down to see a perfectly manicured hand, red nails digging into the jersey fabric and Alex suddenly loses it, she shoves Hannah backwards and watches as she falls to the field, staring at her in surprise as members of both teams surround the pair. “Fuck you.” Alex spits,

 

She’s lucky to get away with just a yellow card.

 

Alex is subbed out for Julie in the 70th minute, and she’s in no mood to listen to Amy asking her what the fuck that was about. She brushes the forward aside and sits at the end of the bench, head in hands, not wanting to watch the remaining minutes of the game for anything. Stanford win the game in the dying minutes, Tobin unleashing a shot that hits the bottom right hand corner with the clock ticking into the 88th minute, but Alex feels numb, she doesn’t care, she’s supposed to, but she can’t. She walks back onto the pitch, walking straight to Hope and hugging her, sighing heavily. “It’s over.” Is the only thing she says to Alex, and it should be relief? “You didn’t punch her, that’s a win kid.”

 

“Tell me. Why doesn’t it feel like that then?”

 

“It does, you just need to let yourself realize that, go and celebrate with your teammates.” Hope shrugs, “don’t feel bad, not many people save Tobin’s shots.” Alex smiles, “thanks Solo,” are Alex’s parting words, and both of them know the two words mean more than just a simple acknowledgement.

 

~

 

The girls are celebrating the hard-fought win in the locker room when Heather O’Reilly appears at the door, and Ali loses her shit. Alex only ever understood that when it came to Ali and Heather, it was something about, _right side, strong side_. “HAO dude, we thought you’d gone back to Boston?” Tobin laughs wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Surprise?” Is all the graduate can offer back. “I wouldn’t miss derby day, I’m your leading scorer in this fixture.”

 

“Heather O’Reilly, queen of never letting people forget how great she is.” Becky smirks before leaning in for a hug. “You’re sticking around for Halloween, right?”

 

“My costumes in the car, I couldn’t miss the best Halloween party on campus.”

 

“I swear HAO, you’re going to be loitering around campus when you’re thirty.” Ashlyn jokes and Heather bites back, “I’ll meet you there Harris.” The team cracks up at the comment, even Ashlyn, not caring that HAO shot her down. Alex finds herself laughing too, she’s starting to realize just why all of her teammates actually do love Heather O’Reilly.

 

Kelley appears at the door long after most of their teammates have left to go home and get ready for the party, Alex is standing with her back to the door, taking her time, waving Julie away when she offered to wait for her, Alex knows why she’s waiting, she’s hoping that Kelley will turn up at some point. “I’m sorry.” Alex jumps and turns around, freezing when she does see Kelley, and the defender looks beaten, guilty, but mostly sad. “I didn’t say kick the shit out of her Kell.” But before Kelley can respond, Alex speaks up again, “But, thanks. It turns out she did deserve it.” Alex scoffs, but eventually feels a smile tugging at her lips at how good she felt shoving her to the ground, or maybe it’s the relief of not getting herself sent off.

 

Alex barely has another second to think before Kelley’s hands are on her waist and she’s kissing her with force, as though every single one of her frustrations are being let out in those seconds that followed. Alex doesn’t stop Kelley when her tongue slips past Alex’s lips, in fact, Alex doesn’t fight against it. She lets Kelley pull her shirt over her head, and shivers when her fingertips dance across Alex’s abdomen. Alex takes control momentarily, swapping their positions and leaning down to leave a trail of kisses along Kelley’s jawline and exposed collarbone before biting down, hearing Kelley suck in a sharp breath and let out the softest, shuddering moan was exactly what Alex needed to hear, and so she smirked before blowing over the bite mark, back and forth until Kelley dropped to her knees in front of Alex, her hands running across her thighs as she looked up through her eyelashes, almost as though she was waiting for permission from Alex, who offered it in a simple nod. Kelley reached up and took one of Alex’s breasts in her hands, squeezing and digging her nails in, causing a moan to escape Alex’s lips. Kelley felt Alex’s muscles twitch as she ran her fingertips over her stomach, tensing when she got closer to the top of Alex’s underwear. Kelley continued to pepper kisses all over Alex’s torso, occasionally sucking on her perky breasts, before she reached for the waistband of Alex’s underwear, Kelley pulled her to the edge of the bench. She looked up at Alex as she began to slowly tease the shorter girl by placing kisses on the inside of her thighs. Alex leaned all the way back against the lockers trying to control her breathing, literally dripping with anticipation.

 

“Please.” Alex begged.

 

Kelley placed her lips on Alex’s most sensitive spot, sucking gently through the fabric of her panties, tasting the girl for the first time. “God you’re so wet.”

 

Alex’s breath hitched as she felt Kelley begin to pull down her underwear, eliminating any barrier between the two. Alex let out a loud gasp as she felt Kelley’s warm tongue begin to lick her folds, her hands rubbing Alex’s inner thighs. Kelley looked up and watched the taller girl throw her head back and writhe in pleasure as she continued to suck and lick her. Alex felt like she had no control over her body, she craved the other girl’s touch and found herself reaching down to grab Kelley’s hair to keep the contact.

 

Kelley held Alex’s hips down as she continued to kiss and lick. Kelley’s heart raced and her muscles clenched knowing how turned on Alex was and that _she_ was the one making the girl squirm with pleasure. She took a long lick at Alex’s centre before breaking contact and working her way back up to face Alex who slowly opened her eyes.

 

“You taste so amazing.” Kelley said as she licked her lips and reached her hand down and slowly entered Alex, one finger at first, quickly followed by another. Alex instinctively pushed down into Kelley’s hand, consuming her as fully as possible. Kelley’s thumb began to rub Alex’s sensitive spot as she continued to work her fingers in an out, curling them ever so slightly while alternating fast and slow paces, all while she kissed her hungrily. Kelley could tell Alex was almost there when she grabbed Kelley’s hair and muffled her screams into her shoulder. Kelley gave a few final thrusts, before she felt Alex’s walls clench around her fingers and collapse breathlessly into her arms.

 

After a few seconds, the defender regained her focus and looked at Alex who laid still, her eyes still closed, her face flush, her mouth slack jawed as she tried to come down off her high. Kelley smiled with satisfaction as she placed her hand on Alex’s cheek and gently kissed her on the lips. Alex’s eyes slowly fluttered open, and she smiled lazily at Kelley. “Yes.” Was all she said, and started laughing when she took in Kelley’s confused reaction. “Yes Kell, I’ll be your girlfriend.”

 

“I think I need another shower,” Alex mumbled, standing up as did Kelley, who stayed silent until Alex reached the door and turned around, smirking at her. “Are you coming?”

 

Kelley has never run so fast in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can only apologise for being MIA for nearly a month, my personal life is a real mess right now and I lost inspiration for a while, 
> 
> KELLEX IS RISING ONCE AGAIN (thank you Allie Long)


	18. I Don't Want To Talk About Sonnett Now

If there was an award for the best decorated Halloween house; Allie Long would have won, hands down.

 

Adorned with coffins and tangled webs, the porch turned into the graveyard of Morgan’s worst nightmares and cosplaying zombies doing their best to strike fear into passing students, sober and drunk. “Moe, get out of the car.”

 

“No, nope, not happening. Sonnett’s probably out to get me.” Morgan shuffled further into the corner of the backseat of Julie’s car. “You’re being ridiculous.” Syd deadpanned, hands on her hips as she continued to stare the midfielder down, “It’s a party, Em’s probably already too drunk to even acknowledge your presence, now, get out of the car – scared-y cat.”

 

“Shut up.” Morgan mumbled, before meeting Syd’s gaze and huffing out a string of curse words before she clambered unattractively out of the car, standing beside her roommate, she folded her arms and glared. “Happy?”

 

“I’m not unhappy.” Syd responded as she shut the car door. “ _I’m not unhappy._ ” Morgan imitated, her voice rising to an annoying squeak as she followed Syd into the house, sticking close to her friend’s back as she scanned the area for a bucket of blood hanging above her head, knowing Emily, she had probably spent the last week watching every horror movie known to man. “You coaxed her out, I owe you Syd.” Julie grinned walking over, a drink in her hand and two bottles of beer that she thrusted into Syd and Moe’s hands. “Has anybody seen Alex?”

 

“Or KO?” Christen asked, joining into their conversation as she appeared at Julie’s side. “I haven’t seen her since the end of the game.”

 

“Maybe they ditched?” Morgan suggested, although her eyes were trailing off every angle of the living room as she spied any signs of a prank about to be pulled on her. “I doubt it, Kell usually loves Halloween.” Christen shot the suggestion down, as she glanced down to her phone again. “I just don’t want her to be driving drunk, or something stupid.” Christen added before excusing herself to go and find Tobin.

 

~

 

“I swear. I won’t be long.” Kelley used her thumb and forefinger to grab Alex’s chin and force the striker to look at her. “If I’m not back in twenty minutes, go to the party and I’ll meet you there. Okay?” Kelley continued to gaze into Alex’s eyes until the forward rolled her own and conceded, nodding. “Fine. Twenty minutes Kell.”

 

“That’s my girl.” Kelley offered Alex a lopsided grin before clumsily leaning forward and leaving a kiss on her cheek, before still dressed in her Halloween costume, she left the apartment and headed down the stairwell, hoping she can make it over to Paul’s office within time, she had a pretty clear idea what he was going to lecture her on, sure, the red card wasn’t the best way to go about events considering she is essentially still on probation over last season, and she just doesn’t seem to making any progress; even when Kelley thinks she is starting to get somewhere, she does something reckless like getting an uncalled for red card, just because, as much as she hates to admit it, she is jealous, still. She is walking across campus, holding her hand up for three high fives from her favorite football players as she heads towards Maloney Field, her heart starting to beat that little bit faster, she would be lying if she wasn’t at least a little nervous about how this conversation could go, after all, Kelley has always been one to just expect the worst, at least that way, she would never end up disappointed.

 

The feeling was the same; walking into the office and sitting in the uncomfortable, worn-out chair situated in front of the desk. Kelley readied herself for the ear-bashing she was sure to receive, but when Paul stayed quiet, just leaning back in his own chair. Kelley peeked over at him, and raised an eyebrow at his almost, relaxed demeanor. “Coach-”

 

“Why?” He cut her off, the question vague but the defender knew exactly what he meant, and so she sighed. “It was a moment of madness.” Kelley shrugged, “I just hate her.”

 

“So, that makes the challenge perfectly fine? You could have caused her a serious injury, an ACL? You could have broken her leg, O’Hara.” Paul narrowed his eyes, trying to see if he could bring a reaction from his emotionless star, but still Kelley remained stony faced, not giving up any sign of empathy in what she did. “You’re on probation Kelley. You need to start watching yourself. What happened to ‘I’ll do better’?” Kelley rolled her eyes; she didn’t want to revisit that conversation in the slightest. “You promised me that you wouldn’t jeopardize things and put everything on the line, anymore.”

 

Still, Kelley remained quiet, “You’re suspended, two games.”

 

Now, Kelley was outraged, and she wasted no time in questioning the decision. “I’m suspending you for the second game. I don’t need your attitude and lack of commitment in my team, you either take the suspension, or I will further the consequences.” Paul’s tone showed no sign of loosening up on the punishment, and after staring down her coach for another minute; Kelley huffed and begrudgingly accepted the suspension. “Take this as your final warning Kelley. This _is_ your last chance.”

 

Kelley wanted to bite back, reminding her coach that she was on her sixth last chance in the last six months, but figuring that wouldn’t help matters, and she nodded and accepted the suspension and warning. She was just about to leave when his voice caught her one last time. “I’ve put a lot on the line for you, don’t make me regret this.”

 

Silently, Kelley left the office and headed outside into the brisk Halloween night air, her gaze falling on Alex standing not too far away from her. “How did you-?”

 

“What did he say?” Alex asked, cutting her girlfriend off. “I’m on my last warning, _again_. I’m suspended for two games, you know, the usual.”

 

Alex would be lying if she said she hadn’t noticed the change in Kelley’s entire demeanor, and Alex could only stand and watch as Kelley bypassed her and moved to sit on the back row in the stands, Alex followed and sat beside her. “I knew what I was doing…” Kelley trailed off, reaching over to take hold of Alex’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “I just wanted her to feel some of the pain she caused you, it was stupid though.” She continued, and Alex didn’t dare interject, until she did. “Kelley, look at me.”

 

Kelley kept her gaze fixated on the field in front of her. “Kell…” Alex soothed, tugging her hand until she finally turned to face her. “It was stupid, don’t get me wrong, it was reckless, but I know that’s not you.” Alex tried to steer the conversation in a different direction but Kelley scoffed and before she could tell Alex that she didn’t know, Alex continued to speak. “Want to hear an embarrassing secret?”

 

“Always.” Kelley said, a hint of a grin threatening to form. “That first night, my first night here, I knew exactly who you were.” Alex admitted, a blush rising up her neck, “I thought you were cute, so when my old roommates would watch other games, mainly Stanford games so that they could talk shit about you guys, I would spend the whole time focusing on you…” Alex trailed off. “Not just because you were cute!” She is quick to add, “Your soccer, I watched the type of player you were, so I know exactly what type of player you are, and yesterday wasn’t you exactly, it was you being stuck in your own head.” Alex shrugs before she laughs slightly, “I told you it was embarrassing, and if you tell anyone I swear to god.”

 

“You thought I was cute?” Kelley wonders, raising her eyebrow incredulously. “Really Kell?” Alex sighs in exasperation. “That’s the only thing you’re focusing on.” Alex is rolling her eyes when Kelley leans over and presses a gentle kiss to her cheek. “Thank you.” She mumbles softly, before standing up, Alex knows Kelley doesn’t have to burst into a speech of gratitude for her to know she’s grateful, and when Kelley reminds her that they have the best party on campus waiting, Alex doesn’t object.

 

They turn up, a good hour and forty-five minutes later than expected, and before they go in, Kelley stops and turns to fix Alex’s mask. “You’re definitely the hottest sidekick, I’ve ever had.”

 

“Had a lot of sidekicks, then?”

 

“I walked into that, didn’t I?” Kelley chuckles as she watches Alex roll her eyes, “You’re my favorite though.” She reminds her, her lips brushing Alex’s jaw before she leads her girlfriend into the house. The music is resonating off the walls when Kelley ducks and dodges flailing arms and red solo cups before she finds Christen, and finally the pair are free to walk over, and when Christen notices, the first thing she does is swat at Kelley’s shoulder. “Where have you been?”

 

“I got held up.” Kelley replies, proudly as she smirks at Christen. “I don’t believe that for a second, hi Alex.” Christen smiles over. “Sonnett’s looking for you.” Christen tells Kelley and points towards the basement. “Go.” She pushes Kelley away, and the defender looks over her shoulder but Christen continues to shoo her away until she’s out of sight, and Christen refocuses her attention on Alex. “So, Alex,” she starts, a knowing smile on her face as Alex walks into the kitchen to get a drink, her strike partner following her. After Alex grabs herself a drink, she hoists herself up so that she’s sitting on the kitchen counter. “So, Christen.”

 

“Hey Al?” Christen starts, putting her drink to her lips to avoid the sly smile desperate to show. “After the game, I forgot my sweater in the locker room…” Christen trails off and looks at Alex’s face as Alex chokes on her drink and begins spluttering, her eyes growing wide and her face turning bright red under her mask. “… Oh my god…” Is all Alex can coherently say. “I heard that a lot as well,” Christen laughs. “Listen, as long as you didn’t do it in my locker, I’m good.”

 

Alex groans and downs the rest of her drink in one. “Honestly, I’m glad it was you and not someone like Ash or Syd, I would never hear the end of it.”

 

“Hear the end of what?” Speak of the devil; Syd appears at both girls’ side, a devious smile on her face. “Al! I thought you were a no-show!” Syd exclaims, slurring slightly as she wraps her arms around her roommate. “I wouldn’t miss tonight Syd.”

 

“That’s my girl.” Syd grinned widely, before stumbling backwards slightly. “Sonnett’s got something planned for Moe, want to come and watch?” Syd suggested, and Alex and Christen were quick to follow Syd downstairs into the basement where, as usual, a heated game of beer pong was taking place with Ali winning, much to Ash’s surprise on the other team and Kelley and Tobin’s undeniable smugness. “Babe, you’re killing it…” Ash trailed off, in surprise as Ali sunk another ball. “Close your mouth babe, and drink up.”

 

~

 

Alex was walking through the house when a hand grabbed her own and pulled her stumbling into a bathroom, but before she could scream; Kelley pulled the mask off and her hair fell over her shoulders, “Hi.”

 

“You scared me, fuck you.” Alex huffed, folding her arms and trying to maintain an annoyed stance, although it was useless when Kelley uttered her next words. “That’s the plan babe.” Kelley reached behind her and slid the lock across the door. “The last thing I wanted is Sonnett running in-”

 

“I don’t want to talk about Sonnett now.” Alex told her, her eyebrows creasing as Kelley backed her up against the bathroom wall. “You’re probably right,” Kelley mumbled pulling the mask off Alex’s face and dropping it, hesitating, Kelley let her gaze travel to every inch of Alex’s face, “You’re – you’re beautiful.” Kelley was mesmerized, unable to take her eyes off Alex’s piercing blue eyes that seemed to be forever staring into her soul, “Will you just kiss me.” Alex breathed out, her hand finding Kelley’s waist and pulling her closer to her until their faces clumsily bumped together, causing the pair to start laughing, Kelley’s laughs subsided first and she refocused her attention, using her thumb to gently trace the bottom of Alex’s lip before Alex took over and was the one to kiss Kelley first. Wrapping her arms around the back of her neck, Alex fumbled to find the zip of the Batman costume, after fumbling around she finally caught the zip and pulled it down. Kelley took over and moved to leave open-mouthed kisses along Alex’s jaw, sending Alex weak-kneed at the contact. Kelley struggled to pull the Robin costume, and was fumbling around in the dark for a prolonged period of time; Kelley’s lips made their way back up to Alex's and Alex quickly deepened it. Their tongues fought for dominance but once Alex bit Kelley’s bottom lip, Kelley let her be the dominant one. Kelley’s hands found their way back around to the back of Alex’s bra as she expertly unhooked it before slowly moving their way around to her breasts.

 

Kelley started kissing the newly exposed skin. She started right above the breast and kissed down the center roughly knowing there will be a mark in the morning. Alex ran her hands under Kelley’s shirt, quickly discarding it. Alex reconnected their already swollen lips before moving down her neck. Her hand wandered on Kelley's inner thigh, ‘accidentally’ rubbing past Kelley's center. "Al" Kelley moaned out.

 

Alex’s hand moved under Kelley’s sports bra and gently squeezed one of her nipples before removing it completely. Her hands focused on squeezing and twisting both nipples while she positioned one of her legs in between Kelley’s. "God damn it, Alex." Kelley groaned. Alex’s leg applied more pressure to where Kelley needed her most, meanwhile her mouth found its way to one of Kelley’s breasts, sucking and biting the newly exposed skin. "Stop. Teasing." Kelley gritted through her teeth.

 

"Just tell me what you want, Kell." Alex smirked before pushing her leg against Kelley’s center with even more pressure.

 

"Fuck me. I want you to fuck me." Kelley moaned out.

 

That's all Alex needed. She took her time moving down Kelley’s body making sure to kiss or touch every bit of skin before reaching her waistband. Alex hooked her thumbs under the bottom half of the costume and slowly pulled it down leaving her girlfriend only in lacy underwear. "Damn." Alex whistled, stifling her own laughter at how stupid she sounded when she saw the pure beauty of her girlfriend.

 

She started kissing her way back up her legs making sure to give her inner thighs special attention. "Alex, inside me now." Kelley said while she gripped the counter harder.

 

Alex bit down on the lacy material and pulled off the last piece of clothing. She moved back up and positioned herself over Kelley’s center. Kelley moved her hands into Alex’s hair and forced her head closer to where she needed her most. Alex slowly licked the entire length of her center before entering her tongue. She repeated this until Kelley was moaning continuously. Alex pulled her head back a little bit and slid her hand into place. She slowly entered one finger before pulling out completely. Seeing how wet Kelley already was, she went back in with two fingers which almost caused Kelley to tumble off the edge.

 

"Faster. Please." Kelley begged while her fingers dug into Alex’s back.

 

Alex picked up her pace and soon Kelley's hips were bucking in rhythm with her movements. Alex knew Kelley was close so she applied pressure with her thumb and that did Kelley over. Kelley’s hips bucked off the counter and her back arched. "Alex, Jesus Christ." Kelley moaned out while Alex continued to pump in and out of her until Kelley was down from her high.

 

Alex slowly pulled her fingers completely out before licking them clean. She climbed her way back up to meet Kelley’s face.

 

"That was amazing." Kelley sighed out and crashed their lips together.

 

Kelley’s knee applied pressure to Alex’s center and felt how wet she was. "Now it's your turn." Kelley smirked before flipping them again.

 

Kelley roughly kissed down her body, paying special attention to her breasts.

 

"N-now who's the tease?" Alex stuttered out.

 

When Kelley and Alex stumbled out of the bathroom, they bumped into Emily who was scanning the surrounding area, a beer in one hand and a cup of tequila in the other, when she caught sight of both of their red faces, and Alex panting, she smirked. “Al, you really do make a good Batman.” She said to her, and Alex furrowed her eyebrows, “What – what do you mean?” Alex turned to Kelley. “Shit…” She trailed off when she realized Kelley had pulled on the Robin mask by mistake. “Shut the fuck up Sonnett.” Kelley warned her, but Emily was already on her way. “ASH, SYD, JJ GUESS WHAT?!” She yelled across the room before sliding across the floor to their group of friends standing by the back door.

 

After swapping their masks, Kelley intertwined their fingers and led Alex into the kitchen and started making them both a drink whilst Alex pulled herself up to sit on the counter again. “Al, babe,” Kelley handed Alex her drink and stood in between her legs, resting her arms on Alex’s thighs. “Hey guys.” Julie approached them, standing beside Ash and Syd who were swinging back and forth on their heels and smiling smugly. “Are you having a good night..?” Ash trailed off, resting her arm on Syd’s shoulder, Alex blushes madly and leans forward to whisper in Kelley’s ear. “She had to tell sixty-six percent of my apartment, didn’t she? Remind me to kill Em in training.”

 

~

 

“Is it just me or is anyone else totally over this party?” Cheney yawned, falling sideways to lie against Amy’s shoulder, whilst hums of agreement followed, “We could just bail?” Tobin suggested, looking over Christen’s shoulder. “If you think I’m leaving my house to get trashed by these animals, you are – completely right, let’s go.” Allie stood up, earning a whimper of protest from where Syd had been lying, half asleep for the last ten minutes.

 

“Pick-up game?” Tobin suggested, hopefully as she bat her eyelashes toward Allie. “We haven’t had a pick-up game for ages, let’s do it!” Ash hollered, and the entire team followed Tobin and Allie out of the house, but only to the porch. “Who’s the least drunk?” Becky asked, looking around her staggering and yawning teammates, not able to immediately decipher who was sober enough. After deciding who was the best to put their lives in; Ali, Cheney, Amy and Whitney were the four most sober, despite Kelley and Emily’s continued complaints over being called too drunk, until both Morgan and Alex pulled them back and stifled their complaining, for the time-being.

 

After all arriving to Maloney Field; and settling for a pick-up game whilst still in their costumes, something Ali, Christen and Julie whined at, pointing to their heels that were more than just unsuitable. “Go barefoot.”

 

“You’ll stand on my foot.” Ali huffed, glaring at Ash. “I’ll be in goal, sweetheart.” Ash reminded her, and Ali blushed in embarrassment at the realization. “Oh, whatever.” She waved Ash and her laughter away as she kicked off her heels. “Captains?” Christen asked, “ME!” Kelley yelled, her hand still in Alex’s as she pulled her girlfriend to the front. “Alex is my co-captain.”

 

“Fine, Becky, you’re the other captain.” Christen pointed to the team captain.

 

Teams were chosen, and the game kicked off; it was a spectacle to say the least, with a fire-fighter out-juggling and dodging a lame attempt at a tackle from Harry Potter, and with Ash as the Huntsman in goal; Amy scored from a low cross flashed across the area from Sam. “This is the weirdest pick-up game I think I have ever been a part of.”

 

“This is nothing.” Morgan laughed, patting Alex’s back as the game restarted. The game continued; Tobin scoring, Sam scoring, Julie scoring and Emily somehow managing to score from nearly forty yards out from goal, the scores level at 2-2. Alex caught the long ball sent forward from Kling, she fakes out Sonnett and runs down the flank, lifting her head momentarily to see Kelley racing into the area, being chased down by Sam; Alex races to the edge of the box and lifts a cross into the box, and at the same time; Kelley stumbles and starts falling forward but still, somehow managing to get on the end of a diving header past Alyssa.

 

“Batman scoring a diving header, you don’t see that every day.” Alyssa chuckled as she turned around to retrieve the ball. Kelley skipped over to Alex and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s waist, burying her head into her shoulder, holding her tightly. “I always knew we made a great team.” Kelley mumbles, turning her head and kissing Alex’s neck.

 

“Well, I do have the best partner.” Alex grins loosening her grip and changing to wrapping her arm around Kelley’s shoulder.

 

The intensity of the game falls after that, and changes to the majority of the girls battling against each other in a ‘who can show off the most’. – It was not a complete surprise that Tobin was winning from the get-go.

 

After giving up, the girls sat on the field together, most sober now and talking about whatever bullshit came to mind. “Allie, do you think your house is on fire by now?” Syd asked, lying down with her head in the blonde’s lap. “If it is, I’ll set you on fire.”

 

“It was Tobs’ idea to come down here, actually you agreed to bail on your party.” Syd reminded her, “Shut up Syd.”

 

Talk turned to their next game away in Florida, Alex zoned out, not deliberately, but still, and instead her focus turned to playing with Kelley’s fingers that were still intertwined with her own, whilst Kelley was talking to Morgan.

 

~

 

After managing to stay out until just after 3AM, the girls all went their separate ways; except for Alex, who didn’t get much of a choice when Kelley pouted and asked her if she would come back with her, although, Alex would not have said no. Following Alyssa into their building, Kelley and Alex kept gazing over to the other and giving each other sleepy smiles, as they walked up and through the stairwell, and once they got to their apartment; Christen and Tobin were already scouring the cupboards for food, and Alyssa was quick to call it a night, bidding a goodnight to the rest of the girls she headed down to the hallway to her room.

 

Kelley and Alex were the next pair to head off to bed, though neither Christen nor Tobin heard them, both too busy fighting over the box of cereal in the cupboard. Kelley shrugged and walked ahead, stumbling sleepily into her bedroom, Alex followed, already pulling her mask and the top of her costume off, overheating in the warmth of their apartment. Alex walked into the room, and found Kelley already lying down on her bed, face first still dressed at Batman. “Kell, Kell, get up and get changed.” Alex laughed softly, nudging Kelley’s leg, but still the defender didn’t stir. So, Alex rolled her eyes and walked over to Kelley’s closet pulling out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts and throwing them at her, raising her eyebrow when they landed on the back of her head, but still, she didn’t stir.

 

Alex got changed silently, walking in the bathroom to finish her night-time routine, or at least as much of it as she could, she tied her hair up into a bun and washed her face before walking back towards the kitchen, laughing when she caught the argument from the kitchen between Christen and Tobin over cereal and “no Christen! I am not going to watch another stupid rom-com with you; I don’t care if I’m drunk!”

 

Christen and Tobin were curled up together on the couch, two boxes of cereal between them and Tobin’s outstretched hand waiting for the remote control that Christen wasn’t going to give up anytime soon. Alex grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator before Christen and Tobin noticed her and told her goodnight, Alex walked back down the hall and back into the room.

 

Closing the door over softly, Alex padded across the room, kicking a pair of shoes aside, she set the bottles down on the bedside table and climbed into bed, kicking Kelley’s foot with her own. “Kell, wake up and get changed, now.”

 

“God, fine, _mom._ ” Kelley responded absentmindedly causing Alex to raise her eyebrows. “That’s one nickname, I’m really not feeling.”

 

Kelley jumped up, and whipped her head around, smiling sheepishly. “I guess – I’m uh,” she didn’t even finish before she clambered unattractively out of bed. “Can you forget I just called you mom?”

 

Alex just laughs and grabs one of the bottles. Kelley gets changed and slides across the room, swiping the bottle from Alex and taking a sip. “You know, I brought two bottles for a reason.” Alex nods towards the unopened one, “I know,” Kelley grins, but doesn’t elaborate.

 

“When are we leaving for Georgia?” Alex asks, leaning over to take the bottle back from her girlfriend. Kelley stiffens momentarily, having tried to push the upcoming wedding to the back of her mind, almost to the point where she had forgotten it, “Uh.” Kelley shrugs, “Friday morning.” She answers back shortly, her eyebrows creasing as she kneels down, grabbing her laptop from under her bed. She sits towards the other end, opening it and starting to scroll through the flight details. “Friday morning, and we come back on Monday afternoon. Thank god, I get out of my morning classes.”

 

Alex nods, she had barely heard any of the details with Kelley always pushing her away and telling her that she would sort it, not that she seemed in any way willing to sort out anything that involved her family. Kelley closed her laptop and placed it back on the floor before shuffling back to the other end of her bed, and wrapping her arms tightly around Alex’s waist, and burying her face into her shoulder.

 

Alex jumps when the door swings open and Christen bounds in with Tobin hot on her heels. “Tell Tobin she is completely irrational and the most annoying person on this fucking planet!” Christen exclaims,

 

“Uh, yeah, what Press said.” Alex smiles wearily, “Why don’t you two just watch Toy Story?” She suggested, figuring them fighting was still over the TV.

 

Christen and Tobin leave after that, both yelling about Toy Story.

 

Kelley sits up and leans forward, capturing Alex’s lips in a kiss, “I love you Al.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wasn't the best chapter; but it was mainly a filler, still, I hope you enjoy it! the truth begins to come out, in the next few chapters, maybe not all, but some of it at least; next stop, the wedding from hell


	19. I'm Still Gay

Kelley and Alex don’t talk about it.

 

In fact; for the entire week, they seem to bypass each other, aside from the occasional; “Hey, sorry, I’m really busy.” Or communicating during training, the pair, especially Alex seemed to be doing their best to avoid each other.

 

It had thrown Alex for a loop to hear Kelley tell her that she loved her, especially when Alex was barely even conscious of her own feelings, and choosing to ignore her feelings and react in typical Alex Morgan style; she closed off and did whatever she could to stay out of Kelley’s way, until Thursday night, when Syd had finally had enough of Alex’s god-awful mood.

 

“Alright, Morgan.” Syd dropped her magazine onto the side of the couch and turned to face Alex fully, the other forward sitting comfortably in the armchair with her laptop rested on her knee. “Spill it.” Syd continued, peaking Alex’s interest, she looked away from her laptop. “You have been in the worst mood since Halloween, what’s going on?” Syd asked. Alex sighed, knowing that eventually somebody was going to pick up on her mood, and force her to spill – she just hoped it would be someone less nosy than Syd.

 

“… It’s,” Alex started but quickly stopped, furrowing her eyebrows, in all honesty, this was the first time she had thought about what happened in a day or two, and she frowned when she remembered how Kelley’s face fell when Alex didn’t offer up any sort of reply to the confession. Alex sighs when she remembered the realization dawning on Kelley’s face and how she stammered out a useless continuation before disappearing out of the room, and ending up asleep in Christen’s empty bed for the night. “Alex, babe, you okay?” Syd asked finally noticing the distant look in her roommate’s eyes. Alex leans forward and puts her laptop on the table. “Kelley told me she loved me.” Alex admits, swallowing thickly as she rests her elbows on her knee, rubbing her hands over her face in a frustrated manner. “I haven’t spoken to her all week, what the fuck am I supposed to say?” Alex groans, yanking her hair out of its bun.

 

Syd doesn’t reply, instead she stares, slack-jawed at Alex. “No way!” She exclaims. “KO fell in love! This is fucking amazing!” Syd jumps up, “And she fell in love with you!”           

 

Alex raises her eyebrows, staring wide-eyed at the striker. “Uh, calm down?” She meekly suggests, and Syd does just that, but still bounces her knee excitedly as she retakes her seat. “Syd, I need advice, not an overreac-”

 

“Do you love her?” Syd interjects, her tone falling serious, and Alex hums before closing her mouth and shrugging. “I don’t know how I feel.”

 

“Are you going to break up with her?”

 

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Alex shoots back, sending Syd wide-eyed. “Okay Morgan, chill out. I only asked, but going on your reaction, I have my answer, figure out yours.” Syd stands up, swiping her magazine and heading off towards the hallway when Alex shouts her back. “Did you just give me _actual_ advice?!”

 

“Don’t sound so surprised!” Syd chuckles as she pushes open the door to hers and Morgan’s bedroom.

 

Alex slumps back in the armchair, a brooding expression on her face as she thinks about what Syd told her, but that lasted all of five seconds when her phone vibrated beside her.

 

_I’ll pick you up at 6:30. – Defender Extraordinaire_

 

Alex dropped her shoulders; even the texts seem forced. “Get your shit together, Morgan.” Alex muttered before shooting back a simple ‘okay’ in response. Not wanting to dwell any longer, Alex figured after a good night sleep; she would be able to coherently figure everything out.

 

Yet, three hours later; Alex is still tossing and turning and being told in sleepy mumbles to stop or sleep on the couch by a drowsy Julie opposite her. Closing her eyes, Alex tried to force herself to go to sleep,

 

_“This is ridiculous.” Alex huffed, she stormed up the stairs, opening the door to Kelley’s apartment and walking down the hall._

 

_Opening the door, Kelley was sitting up, her back against the wall, scrolling absentmindedly through her iPad, turning around at the sound of her door, she furrowed her eyebrows – “Al, what are you doing here?”_

 

_“I can’t sleep and it’s all your fault!” Alex barked, folding her arms and giving Kelley her best glare at 4AM. “You just had to tell me you loved me! Now I can’t think straight.”_

 

_“No offence, but thinking **straight** isn’t exactly your thing” _

 

“Alex!” Julie screeched, whacking her with a pillow, causing the forward to jolt upright, and cringe when she heard her phone alarm going off. “It’s five o’clock, will you switch it off?” Julie begged, Alex nodded and yawned before sleepily scrambling for her phone and turning her alarm off. Julie pads back over to her bed, gets back in and is asleep before Alex can even say a word. Stretching, she gets out of bed and leaves the room before she starts her morning routine, and by morning routine; she sits on the couch with coffee and procrastinates getting ready until the latest she possibly can.

 

Finally, just as the time ticks past 6:30, the rest of her roommates slowly trudge into the living room to give her a hug, before Julie and Morgan head back to bed and ask not to be woken up until five minutes before their classes start. “Don’t let it ruin your weekend,” Syd tells her, leaning against the back of the couch, yawning.

 

Alex nods, “I won’t, she has enough with being around her family for the weekend.”

 

Syd gives her a hug and heads back to bed for a while, and Alex heads downstairs, walking out of the building; Kelley is parked outside, still in her car, scrolling through her phone. “Let the fun begin.” Alex mumbles sarcastically, walking around to the trunk, opening it, she lifts her suitcase in before shutting it and getting into the car. Kelley just starts the car and pulls out, without even acknowledging Alex’s presence. It takes Alex all of two minutes of silence for her to crack, “Are you going to ignore me all weekend?” She asks, and rolls her eyes when Kelley scoffs in response. “I don’t know, you seemed pretty good at it this week.”

 

Alex goes to argue but stops herself, admitting to herself she definitely deserved the snappy response. “Okay.” She starts, “I’m sorry for ignoring you.”

 

Kelley scoffs again and Alex can feel the annoyance building up. “Kelley, I’m fucking apologizing here. Ignoring you was stupid, will you forgive me?”

 

Kelley takes a minute to mull over the apology, keeping her eyes fixed straight ahead, until she sighs, still refusing to verbally accept it, she reluctantly holds her hand out, pouting like a petulant toddler as she did, and Alex can’t help but laugh as she places her hand in her girlfriend’s.

 

“Promise me some-something.” Kelley says after a short while, her voice cracking. “Anything,” Alex immediately replies, squeezing Kelley’s hand.

 

“Promise me that no matter what; this weekend won’t change what you think of me.” Kelley doesn’t dare look at Alex, for the simple fact that if she did, she knew she would crack and letting people see her weak was something Kelley simply tried to avoid at all costs. Alex’s face falls, and she tries to ignore the beginnings of a panic settling in the pit of her stomach, hesitating, she does eventually reply, promising her.

 

They check in, and are sitting in Starbucks when Kelley gets up and offers to get them both coffees, “You really do love me.” Alex says flippantly causing Kelley to turn around, frowning at the choice of words,

 

“Too soon?” Alex asks, regretting saying it, even more so when Kelley just rolls her eyes, ignoring her.

 

They arrive in Georgia just before noon, and Kelley’s mood had not improved one bit, not that Alex expected to, especially when they were less than an hour from the hotel they were staying at, Kelley was tense at seeing her parents again, and Alex was struggling to bite her tongue, so she stopped and asked the question she had been dying to ask for the last few hours.

 

“What did you mean?” She bursts out, capturing her girlfriend’s attention, Kelley hummed in response, looking up from her phone. “When?” She questions,

 

“When you made me promise that I wouldn’t change what I thought of you. Why would I?” Alex digs her hands into her pockets to avoid fidgeting nervously, and drops her head to avoid becoming nervous under Kelley’s gaze. “I meant what I said, things might be said, just don’t change what you think of me.”

 

“That was – vague.” Alex frowns, not exactly satisfied with her answer. “Exactly,” Kelley offers her a small grin before pushing herself off the wall and leading Alex out of the airport and over to a Range Rover. A girl gets out the car, and Alex recognizes her from pictures stuck on the inside of Kelley’s locker. “Erin,” she drops her suitcase and speeds up before she is able to throw her arms around the girl. “There’s my favorite sister, I’ve missed you.”

 

Kelley tenses before quickly relaxing again. “I know.” She mumbles out, “You must be Alex, hey, I’m Erin. I’m the best of the O’Hara siblings.” Kelley rolled her eyes as Erin struck up a conversation with Alex,

 

“You haven’t seen me in four months and you would rather talk to my girlfriend?” Kelley asked, a pout forming as she narrowed her eyes, Erin looked over Alex’s head and smirked. “I’m not talking, I’m interrogating.”

 

“Just get in the car, Erin.”

 

“Anything for you, little one.” She replies, flipping Kelley off as she walks back around to the driver’s side.

 

Over the next hour or so, Erin proceeds to interrogate Alex on everything from why did she move college in senior year to what her favorite animal was, and every single thing in-between, not wanting to leave any stone unturned on who her little sister’s girlfriend might be, even if Kelley protests a few of the questions, apologizing to Alex and blaming Erin’s lack of boundaries being caused by being dropped on the head when she was six months old.

 

Erin thinks she could like Alex, and Alex thinks she could get along well with Erin – much to Kelley’s dismay, and expertly hidden happiness.

 

“Get out of the car Kelley.” Erin stood by the open back door, arms folded as she stared down her sister from where she was refusing to leave. “Come on, when has Kelley O’Hara ever been one to back down from a confrontation?” Erin tried again, trying to coax Kelley out of the car with something she knows would get the glimmer back in her eyes. “I’ll buy you a drink.”

 

“Three drinks?”

 

“Two drinks.” Erin coughed, “It will no drinks if you don’t get out of the car.”

 

Kelley took her seatbelt off and reluctantly stepped out of the car, Erin smirking as she did so, “It works like a charm, every single time.” Erin nodded towards Alex, who just shook her head laughing as she retrieved their bags. “Sometimes Alex, alcohol will work better than sex.” Erin winked, ducking and dodging Kelley’s spin and flailing arm expertly. “Like, I said, we have a loving relationship.” Erin grabbed Kelley and pulled her close, hugging her tightly; Erin tightening her grip to pacify Kelley’s attempts to scramble free. “God, you’re just the worst.” Kelley mumbled curling her hand around Erin’s to try and loosen the elder’s death grip.

 

“I knew I heard your dulcet tones.”

 

The scrambling came to a halt, both O’Hara’s turning their heads and breaking out into huge grins before simultaneously screaming out their cousin’s name at the top of their lungs. Kelley finally snaps free from her sister’s arms and races over to the similarly aged guy, hopping on his back and hugging him – Alex doesn’t think she has seen Kelley so happy before. Kelley starts excitedly and wildly chatting away to her cousin, talking about everything, but mostly football, her voice jumping a decibel every time she remembers another significant detail; Drew just laughing and hanging on to every word the defender told him. “Can you see why they are best friends?” Erin asked, nudging Alex’s shoulder. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kelley so –”

 

“Happy?” Erin suggests, and Alex nods in agreement, “Happy.” She repeats. Kelley _almost_ forgets about Alex’s presence for a second, until she finally meets her girlfriend’s eyes and pushes Drew’s shoulder and nodding over to the brunette he hasn’t seen before. After introductions are made and Drew has managed to shake his cousin off his back, for the time-being, Kelley tenses up again, shrinking back and leaning against the car, zoning out and shaking her head. “They aren’t here.” Drew tells her, peaking Kelley’s interest. “They aren’t arriving until later, you’ve got a few hours.” He continues, watching, anticipating as Kelley narrows her eyes, silently arguing with herself until, she squeaks out a simple, okay, in response. With one hand on her suitcase, she holds her other hand out for Alex’s, “There’s no going back now.” She mumbles, adding an eye-roll for effect. Alex takes her hand, rubbing her thumb over Kelley’s knuckles in a soothing manner.

 

Once the pair are in their room, Kelley pulls a sweatshirt on and heads towards the door, “I want a drink.” She calls out over her shoulder. “It’s not even noon yet.” Alex responds, looking up from her phone and her position on the bed. “Actually, it’s 12:01.” Kelley corrects, pulling up her sleeve and pointing to her watch. “Kell, come here.” Alex waves her girlfriend over, and after trying to resist; the defender huffs and pads across the room until she’s sitting on the bed opposite Alex. “Are you going to say what you’re biting your tongue on, or are you just going to stare at me?”

 

Alex mumbles out a thinly veiled attempt at an insult towards Kelley, she hesitates but eventually just asks. “What happened between you and your parents?”

 

“I left.” Kelley replies, offering Alex an overly-exaggerated fake smile, “I know.” Alex tells her, “Why?”

 

“I couldn’t stay there.” Kelley continued, feeling slightly smug at how internally frustrated Alex was getting at her vague answers.

 

It wasn’t so much because Kelley didn’t want to tell Alex, hell, a good part of her wanted to sit there for the next few hours, pouring her heart out (truthfully) at what happened during the summer, why she so desperately had to get the hell out of Georgia, but still, she hesitated, the events had been plaguing her for months, if she wasn’t so stubborn and angry about anything, she knew she would have been the first to suggest they sit down and talk through it calmly, like adults – but Kelley unfortunately just had to be the smaller version of her dad in almost every sense. “You’re not going to tell me, are you?” Alex asked, though sounding defeated, she had just settled for being clueless until Kelley told her.

 

“I will, one day.” Kelley tells her, and Alex stands up. “Come on, I suppose noon isn’t too early for a drink.” Smiling, Alex swipes their room key from the table and heads to the door, Kelley hot on her heels.

 

“Do you miss them?” Alex asks, swirling the whiskey ginger around her glass, “I miss how things were.” Kelley responds, “Not just what happened in the summer, you know something happened last year, right?” Kelley swivels and glances at Alex. “I do,”

 

“… I didn’t know at that moment that my entire life was about to crash and burn.” Kelley laughed bitterly, biting down on the straw in her drink, “I let it get too far then, but what happened wasn’t my fault…” Kelley was essentially talking her thoughts aloud at this point and Alex was struggling to follow due to her girlfriend jumping from different times, hoping that one way they would connect in her own head. “I don’t get it.” Kelley turned to face Alex, the glass slipping slightly before Kelley curled her hand tighter around it.

 

~

 

“This is fucking ridiculous, who even has rehearsal dinners anyway?”

 

“Most people, Kell.” Alex looks up from where she’s sitting on the floor, her curlers in one hand, pointed straight at Kelley who was yet to move from her nest of water bottles, sweatshirts, blankets and wrinkled choices of dress for the dinner. “Can’t you just choose something to wear, and get dressed?” Alex pushed, glancing up at the clock on the wall. “I’d rather watch you.” Is Kelley’s response, her voice muffled by the collar of Alex’s hoodie. “I’m flattered, really, but get dressed.”

 

“We could just skip.”

 

“Kelley, that’s not your best idea.”

 

“What was my best idea?” Kelley asks suddenly intrigued and flipping positions so that she was lying on her stomach at the foot of the bed. Alex dropped her head and groaned, “Now, is really not the time.”

 

“Was it when I asked you out?” Kelley ignores Alex’s obvious annoyance, “That was a good idea, wasn’t it? Al? Babe?”

 

“Sweetie, I’m going to say this with all the love in the world; shut the fuck up.” Alex turns and narrows her eyes at Kelley, her grip on the curling iron tightening. “Does that mean you love me?” Kelley asked, a mock hopefulness to her voice, wiggling her eyebrows until she brought a small laugh from her girlfriend, who in turn just proceeded to drag Kelley’s name out at an annoying register until the defender complied and agreed to get dressed.

 

“You know my cousin’s fiancée is a bitch, rig-?” Kelley’s words get stuck in her throat when she walks out of the bathroom, stopping abruptly as she catches a glimpse of Alex, albeit, her girlfriend had her back to her, but still, Kelley doesn’t think she’s ever seen Alex look so beautiful. “Right what?” Alex asks turning around and tilting her head to the left at Kelley staring at her, slack-jawed. “Are you okay?” Alex asks wearily, narrowing her eyes, “You look – um, hot?” Kelley suggests, the playfulness returning to her tone and her eyes.

 

Figuring two can play this game. “Really?” Alex slides across the room, “I picked it out for you,” Alex traces her fingertips along Kelley’s jaw, Kelley swallows thickly. “Um – uh, yeah, um, good job.” She replies meekly, rolling her eyes at her nervous stammering. “Good job?” Alex hums, “Not really the reaction I was hoping for,” Alex lets her fingers dance along Kelley’s exposed collarbone, her eyes never leaving her girlfriend’s, until Kelley finally manages to regain some of her composure, and when she does she grabs Alex’s wrist, breathing in deeply when she catches the smirk on Alex’s lips. “That’s the reaction I was hoping for.” Alex smiles gleefully, noticing the way Kelley’s eyes darkened with lust. “Are you going to kiss me or do I have to do that-?” Alex is cut off when Kelley leans forward and smashes her own lips against Alex’s, softly shaking her head when Alex gasps and squeaks at the sudden contact.

 

“BREAK IT UP YOU TWO!” Erin yelled before banging against the door, “I fucking hate her.” Kelley mumbled against Alex’s lips before leaning back, smirking and reminding her girlfriend; “We aren’t finished.” She padded across the room and opened the door, her smirk dropping at the sight of her older sister. “You know you’re happy to see me Kell.”

 

“Hardly.”

 

“Liar,” Erin shrugs, “damn Alex; looking good. How did Kelley manage to get you to go out with her again?” Erin asked as Kelley sent another wayward attempt at a slap over the top of Erin’s head when she ducked. “Okay lovebirds, we need to go because otherwise, you’re going to get skinned alive by Drew’s girl.”

 

“What a lovely picture, I didn’t need in my head.” Kelley mutters, but cheers up when Alex slots her hand into hers.

 

They walk downstairs and outside to a waiting Uber, “I was going to make you ride with the wicked bitch, but I wanted you to still have a girlfriend after by the time we got there…” Erin trails off, wincing as she awaits Kelley’s reaction. “What does she have to do with anything?”

 

“Oh… You’re going to see.” Erin chirps back.

 

Arriving at the restaurant, Erin hopped out of the car and looked around anxiously, before running as fast as she could in heels towards the restaurant door. Alex and Kelley followed, “Any sign of your parents?” Alex asked, scanning the immediate area where a few guests were grouped together, with drinks in their hands and seemingly engaging in what looked like a pleasant conversation. “I don’t think they are here yet,”

 

Erin was standing by the bar, and Kelley was just about to head over to join her when a voice from behind had her frozen to the spot. “Kelley?” The voice repeated, and slowly but surely, still tightening her grip on Alex’s hand, she turned around and came face to face with the girl who was overly fake-smiling, clearly more interested in Kelley’s hand joined with somebody else’s over the defender. “… What are you doing here?” Kelley doesn’t even try to hide the disdain in her voice, “Is that any way to talk to me, really Kell?”

 

Kelley scoffs, but doesn’t reply, instead her eyes overlook the girl and find Drew walking in, “As much as I would not love to stay and talk to you, I’m leaving now.”

 

“Who was that?” Alex asks, waiting until Kelley’s facial features soften again. “My ex girlfriend.” Kelley breathes out, pinching the bridge of her nose as Drew approaches them. “Why is she here?”

 

“I was waiting for this; she’s actually best friends with Chelsea.”

 

“Gross.” Kelley responds, “I can’t believe this, Drew,” Kelley punches his shoulder.

 

~

 

“Mom and dad are here,”

 

“Thanks for the update.” Kelley nods at Erin, before focusing on the drink in her hand again. “Jerry’s with them…” Erin trails off, knowing hearing their brother’s name would peak her interest. “Come on Kell, you do know we’re stuck at a table with them all night?”

 

“… No, but I’m not surprised…” Is Kelley’s answer, Alex, meanwhile, hops off the stool she was sitting on and stands beside Erin. “Babe, she has a point, you can’t avoid them forever.”

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?” Kelley wonders, trying to see if she can use her childish nature in her favor, but Alex isn’t having any of it, and instead the forward just furrows her eyebrows and waits until Kelley concedes and downs the rest of her drink, she reluctantly follows the two girls to the table, and hides the panic settling in the pit of her stomach well enough that Alex doesn’t question it on the few occasions she looks behind her, mainly to check that Kelley hasn’t run off in the opposite direction. Both, Dan and Karen stand up to greet their daughter, and Alex can feel Kelley’s tension radiating through the room when her mom pulls her into a hug, and as much as she wants to reject it, Kelley sucks it up to try and keep her mom’s idea for a picture perfect family alive for the time-being. Kelley, ignores her dad completely though and sits at the table opposite him and pulls Alex into the chair beside her.

 

They try to not acknowledge the ever-building awkward silence, the siblings look around, having a silent conversation amongst themselves as to decide who is going to be the first to break the silence, but their conversation is cut short when it’s Karen O’Hara who actually breaks the silence, her attention turning to Alex, “So; Alex, you’re dating Kelley, yes?”

 

“… Yes,” and Alex is convinced she can see Kelley stifling her laughter in her peripheral vision. “Yes,” she repeats, louder and more convincing this time. “Is she treating you good?” Karen continues, and Alex nods so quickly, she is convinced that her head would roll off her shoulders at one point. Alex’s nerves begin to ease when she feels a hand resting on her thigh, and she doesn’t have to look twice when she notices the gold band to know it’s Kelley’s hand – momentarily forgetting that she’s sitting next to her girlfriend, and it wouldn’t be anybody else’s hand.

 

Alex shrinks back into her chair, glancing sideways and following Kelley’s eyes until she figured out who she was looking at, and she would be lying if she wasn’t at least a little irritated that Kelley was focusing on her ex girlfriend, but that soon stopped when Kelley jolted forward, trying to play it off coolly as she glared at Erin, but the elder just shrugged and nodded towards Alex.

 

“Are we seriously not going to talk about what happened..?” Jerry asks, which is immediately met and shot down with Karen, Erin and Kelley simultaneously raising their voices and telling him no. “Can’t blame a guy for asking,” he holds his hands up, surrendering in the process. Karen focused her attention on Kelley and looked to be ready to ask her something when luckily for the defender; her Aunt approached the table, taking the attention away from her, momentarily at least.

 

“Kelley? Kelley, I haven’t seen you in so long. How are you?” The older woman gushed, skipping around the table until she was able to bring the defender to her feet and into a hug, all the while; Kelley feeling her parents’ stare burning into her back, silently begging her to just, not be herself, but since when has that ever been her style.

 

“I’m still gay,” Is Kelley’s response, and she can almost feel the chokehold that her dad would probably want her in after the answer, metaphorically of course. Her aunt stumbles back, coughing before humming as she regains her composure, smoothing imaginary wrinkles in her dress. “I should imagine, mom told you that, right?” Kelley bats her eyelashes, envisioning an overly-fake version of herself that to anyone who knew her, would be the most obvious lie she has ever told.

 

Her aunt, laughs nervously, eyes widening and closing every so-often, before scurrying away to more family, without another word.

 

Satisfied, Kelley retakes her seat, smirking at the blank stares on her parents’ faces, seemingly not at all affected by the rumors that were bound to travel around the restaurant floor over the next few hours.

 

Sending a wink over to Alex, the family, minus the girlfriends’ fall into a rhythmic conversation, as they eat and drink, with Alex and Kelley sitting back, talking about whatever came to mind and face-timing their friends, anything they could do to avoid facing facts; even if Alex was uneasy at finding out, there might be more to what she assumed was just an escalated argument between Kelley and her parents.

 

Food has been eaten and emotional speeches have been made, with tears shed at the father of the bride tearing up at how grown up his little girl is becoming, and the chorused laughter at Drew’s best friends tearing into him, leading to barely a dry eye in the house at how perfectly well the pair were suited.

 

Alex leans forward, her head against the palm of her hand as she watches the drunken adults trip and stumble but laugh and hold each other lovingly as they sway to the music resonating through the dance floor, despite never being the best dancer; Alex’s legs itched until the point where she brashly swiveled in her chair, nearly knocking the wine glass out of Kelley’s hand, and rushed out the words. “Will-you-dance-with-me?”

 

Kelley brings her glass to her lips, furrowing her eyebrows before taking a sip, making Alex wait an unnecessary amount of time for the response. “I don’t dance.”

 

“Make an exception!” Alex’s voice rises with every word, attracting unwanted attention. “… If you loved me you would…” Alex knows it’s a low blow to use it against her, but she really wanted to dance with her girlfriend, even if it meant going against Kelley to get it.

 

Kelley frowns, but it’s gone within a few seconds as she places the nearly empty glass on the table, she continues to hum and debate giving Alex the one dance she wants, much to her girlfriend’s displeasure at the time-taking.

 

“… One dance.” Kelley concedes, sighing and pushing the chair away as she gets to her feet. “You’re the best.” Alex grins and leans over, letting her lips brush against Kelley’s cheek.

 

Alex leads them both out to an empty space in-between Kelley’s drunken Aunt and her third husband and two completely sloshed friends of her cousin from college. Kelley sighs, feeling the burning sensation that somebody is watching her, and by somebody, she knows exactly who it is so she doesn’t necessarily have to turn around to confirm her suspects, but she does anyway, and she’s sat at the bar, a drink in her hand and her nostrils flared, glaring straight ahead above Kelley’s head and to Alex.

 

Kelley spins and presses her hand against Alex’s hip, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers.

 

Alex initially panics, not expecting Kelley to be the one taking the lead here, but soon relaxes when she feels Kelley’s thumb rubbing across her knuckles as the pair slowly begin to glide across the floor, keeping in close proximity to the other as the Kelley hums the tune of the song just loud enough for Alex to hear her. “I thought you didn’t dance?”

 

“I don’t.” Kelley replies, but the beginnings of a smile begins to play on her lips, “I just know how.” At the moment, Kelley spins Alex before pulling her back in and holding her tightly, and Alex’s heart swoons at the protective hand around her back from her girlfriend. “Who taught you?”

 

“You’re asking too many questions…” Kelley trails off, but Alex holds firm and the defender sighs before answering, much to her dismay. “My dad taught me when I was little; I’d stand on his feet whilst he danced around the living room with me.” Kelley frowns again at the memory before she spins Alex again and back. They continue to sway side to the side as the song gradually comes to an end, and after failing with an attempt to get Kelley to dance with her for the second time, after Alex left for a minute to head to the bathroom; Kelley walks across to the bar, hands pressed flat against the counter. Looking to her right, she rolls her eyes at the girl beside her, ordering her own drink, she turns. “I miss you.”

 

“Well, that makes one of us.” Kelley scoffs, glancing over to her ex again. “Kell, I want to apologize.”

 

“Only a year too late.” Kelley continues to scoff, taking hers and Alex’s drink from the bartender she turns around to Ann and sighs.

 

“Unless you have something meaningful to say to me, I really don’t care what you have to say.” With a smile, Kelley starts to slide past the other girl but Ann steps in front of her, and sighs, softening her facial expressions as she takes the drinks from Kelley’s hands and places them both down on the bar. “Kelley, babe, I was so stupid…” Ann trails off, lifting her hand and caressing the defender’s cheek as Kelley stiffens at the touch. “I should never have hurt you, I knew I made a mistake, but I was too – too proud to admit it.” Kelley blinks rapidly, lifting her head to see if Alex was in sight, she tries to ignore the way Ann’s forefinger is under her chin and trying to force her to look at her, eventually her finger drops but Ann doesn’t leave, and instead she brings up Alex. “So, you have a new girl, _Stanford_?”

 

Kelley tries to ignore the feeling of her knees wanting to buckle when she hears the stupid age-old nickname. “D-Don’t call me that.” Kelley weakly protests, beginning to feel her head spinning, she tries to push Ann away from her, and grab the drinks but she’s frozen to the spot when Ann grabs her waist, and surges forward but stops just before their lips can meet, “If you don’t have any feelings for me, move away.” She mumbles out, her chapped lips moving but Kelley can barely hear a word, and when the defender doesn’t move back; Ann closes the gap between them, and Kelley squeaks slightly at the way Ann’s chapped lips feel against her soft ones.

 

The kiss lasts all of fifteen seconds, and when Ann leans back, she’s satisfied and is sporting a smug smirk as she leans across and swipes her drink from the bar. “I knew it,” is the last thing she says to Kelley before she turns around and walks away as though none of that had just happened.

 

Alex is frozen, slack-jawed and hurt, she tries to get herself to move, to walk away, to turn around but before she can even process everything that’s happening in her head; Kelley turns and finds her, and from Alex’s point of view, she looks pretty pleased with herself, which doesn’t help the burning sensation of hurt and anger filling her stomach, but instead of choosing to flip out just yet; she shakes her head and plasters a fake-smile on her face as she walks through the tables and reaches Kelley, taking the drink from her. “Thanks babe,” she leans over and kisses Kelley’s cheek. The pair walk back to the table, where the rest of her family have rejoined, they sit down and all split off into different conversations; Kelley and Alex spend some time facetiming; Tobin and Christen again, and well, Christen focusing the phone on the USWNT vs. Brazil friendly on the TV. “Come on, I want to show you something.” Kelley leans over, letting her lips brush against Alex’s ear, she stands up and leans over Jerry’s shoulder, looking between both her siblings. “Cover for me.”

 

“What if we don’t?” Jerry questioned her. “I’ll punch you, got it, bro?”

 

“Clear as day.” He saluted her, Kelley and Alex snuck out of sight, walking through the back of the restaurant towards a staircase out of view from everybody else, “Hey Kell?” Kelley hummed in response, “What’s the deal with you and your ex?” Alex asked, forcing herself to stay calm and straight-faced. Having not expected that particular question, Kelley stumbles on the first step, cursing under her breath before composing herself to answer, though, she takes the entire time it takes the pair to walk up the stairs to actually answer it. “Nothing, she’s just a bad part of my life.”

 

“Okay…” Alex trails off not believing that for a second but continuing on to see how far she can get before Kelley shuts her off completely. “Why were you staring at her at the table?”

 

“I wasn’t staring.” Kelley tells Alex, glancing back at her girlfriend over her shoulder. “I was glaring at her,”

 

“Oh yeah,” Alex retorts; laughing bitterly. “Is that why you only looked away when Erin kicked your shin?”

 

“I wasn’t staring – god, Alex, do you really think that?”

 

“Give me a reason not to.” Alex tries to sound bitter and confident, but ends up with her voice wavering and shrugging, “If you want to.” Despite it, Kelley just starts laughing and brings Alex closer to her by waist, nuzzling her face into her neck. “You know, you’re actually really hot when you’re jealous and I do remember, we had some unfinished business…” Kelley starts softly by kissing at her neck but Alex shudders instead of shivers and pushes her away. “I’m not in the mood.” Alex shakes her head and gets free from Kelley’s grip before walking back down the stairs, scoffing and feeling uneasy at how Kelley’s continuing to pretend nothing happened, it’s not that Alex expects her to come out and admit it straight, but still, the thought is making Alex sick to her stomach. “Hey Erin,” Alex quickens her walk until she reaches the elder O’Hara sister. “I – I don’t feel uh – too good, I’m going to go back to the hotel.” Alex stumbles over her words, blinking back the tears in her eyes, Erin’s eyes widen at the state that Alex seemed to be declining into, “Alex, are you okay?” Erin reaches out to grab Alex’s arm as she closes her eyes when the first few tears start to fall down her cheeks. “I-I’m fine, I just – I’m not good, I have to go.” Alex quickly rushes out of the restaurant and stops on the edge of a sidewalk, holding her arm out for a cab.

 

Alex has calmed down by the time she’s in her room, she’s changed and sitting in the middle of the double bed, Kelley’s hoodie on and her fingers were curled around the neck; Alex had her eyes screwed shut as she tried to get the vision of Kelley and her ex kissing, but no matter how hard she tried, every-time, the picture came rushing back. Alex, lies down and tries to start to drift off into a sleep, and she feels like she’s been asleep for all of five minutes when the door opens and Kelley’s flat-footedness comes to light as it sounds like a stampede of elephants walking through the room. “Al, Al, are you awake?” The smell of vodka and whiskey hit Alex in the face, and caused her to flutter her eyes open. “Hey babe, Erin said you didn’t feel good. Are you okay?”

 

“No,” Alex responds, flipping over and turning her back on her girlfriend, but Kelley wasn’t done there, she slipped off her shoes and climbed into bed behind Alex, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend’s waist, but Alex moves onto her back brashly and Kelley flails before falling off the side of the bed and landing awkwardly. Alex wasn’t even phased as Kelley stumbled to her feet, stumbling and swaying due to the alcohol in her system. “Alex? What the fuck is up with you?!”

 

Alex sits up, brushing her hair out of her face. “What the fuck is wrong with me?!” She yells in Kelley’s face, pushing the blankets off her and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. “I should be the one asking what the fuck is up!” Kelley’s eyes widen as she backs off, noticing the anger in Alex’s eyes. “W-What’s up?” Kelley asks, swallowing thickly and not wanting to set Alex off further, “You don’t fucking know?!” Is what she screams back, standing up and barging past Kelley, knocking the defender’s shoulder as she walked around the side of the bed. “How could you fucking kiss her?!” Alex spins and points an accusatory finger at her girlfriend. “Do you even have any idea how that makes me feel?!”

 

Kelley’s frozen, again, all she can do is stand and watch as the tears continue to pour out of Alex’s eyes as she roughly drags the hoodie sleeves across her cheeks, not to any avail but she’s a sobbing mess by the time Kelley manages to haul herself across the room to stand in front of her girlfriend, and to grab her hands away from her face. “Babe, babe I’m sorry.”

 

“… N-No – you d-don’t expect me to for-forgive you.” Alex stammers out, trying to pull her hands out of Kelley’s but begrudging the fact the defender is stronger than her. “H-How could you?” Alex growls as she finally wins and breaks away from Kelley, stumbling backwards slightly, still slightly intoxicated herself. “It was nothing,” Kelley shrugs, “I didn’t have time to react, I don’t even like her!”

 

“Oh, okay, that makes me feel a thousand times better.” Alex scoffs bitterly, the tears beginning to stop and being replaced with a new layer of unprecedented anger. “I don’t care if you don’t fucking like her Kelley!”

 

Kelley knows she shouldn’t say it, but she finds herself getting even angrier, and the moment she says the words she immediately regrets it. “… You’re overreacting.”

 

Alex nods, but she doesn’t say anything, she just walks through the room, scrambling around various surfaces for her phone and pushing past Kelley at every opportunity she gets. “Alex…” Kelley tries to reach for Alex, because quite frankly, the pacing was annoying her.

 

“Let me go, I’m leaving.”

 

“Leaving?” The panic starts to show on Kelley’s face, “for the night,” Alex mumbles, turning away from Kelley.

 

Kelley sits down on the edge of the bed, head in her hands and growls lowly, “This isn’t fucking fair,” she mutters. “It was just a stupid kiss Alex, you’re overreacting! How is this any better than what you have been doing to me all day?!” Alex’s hand slips off the door handle, and she turns around, intrigued to see how the fuck Kelley can possibly swing this around on her. She folds her arms and waits for Kelley to regain her composure, and when she does, the defender stands up and walks closer. “How do you think it’s fair for you to constantly say to me – _oh, if you loved me you would_?” Kelley stays remarkably calm which begins to freak Alex out, “The way you reacted when I told you I loved you made me regret it instantly… Now, all you do is use the fact I love you is to twist my arm into doing things, you did it tonight – to get me to dance with you.”

 

“... Telling you I loved you; that was the biggest fucking mistake of my life.”

 

Alex can feel a fresh onslaught of tears building up in her eyes, and she turned and opened the door, not forgetting to slam it after her when she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an update that didn't take an entire month to be written and posted? i'm shocked too, people... also, Kelley's a dick, I know, that was the point
> 
> come hit me up on tumblr; leahgaltons (I take prompts, one shot ideas, answer your life's thoughts and everything in-between)


	20. I Cried At The Bachelor

Alex stands outside the door, but no matter how much she wants to walk away, go and get some air and calm down, she doesn’t, she can’t move for the life of her and when the anger starts to flow through her veins again, she swallows her pride, and sticks the key in the lock, opening the room and storms back into the room. Her arms are folded and she has a cold expression on her face as Kelley finally looks up from the bed, her eyes are wide until she furrows her eyebrows in confusion; not expecting to see Alex again for the night. “Did you mean it?” She asks bitterly

 

“Did I mean what?” Kelley shoots back, “Don’t play dumb with me Kelley, did you mean what you said?” Alex asks, a testing tone to her voice that told Kelley to not go about causing another argument tonight, especially not if she wants to start tomorrow still with a girlfriend. “You _know_ I didn’t mean it.” Kelley replies, her head dropping in utter shame, and anger at herself for even saying that to Alex in the first place, when Alex doesn’t reply; Kelley looks up expecting her girlfriend to rush to her, and then letting each other apologize and they would be fine but she’s met with nothing but sheer anger and hurt flashing across the blue eyes she has come to adore. Alex nods, accepting Kelley’s words but showing no noticeable change in her mood, instead, she pads around to the opposite side of the bed, and sits down, “I’m going to sleep,” she mumbles, not even caring if Kelley catches the words; she just needs a lie down, “S-Should I go?” Kelley asks, her voice unusually small, she waits until she hears Alex mutter an ‘I don’t care’ in response. Kelley doesn’t leave, but she does choose to lie on the floor.

 

Neither of them sleep that night; with Alex fighting back the urge to cry at 3:45AM, and Kelley regretting almost every single one of her actions from the night before, and when the both of them finally get up; they are in absolutely no mood for a wedding, in fact, Kelley gets up and leaves the room almost immediately and doesn’t return for bordering on an hour, Alex doesn’t notice how long she has been gone at first, she’s sitting on the bed, throwing her phone into the air and catching it, spinning it, and throwing it down on the bed in frustration, she’s frustrated because she can feel her initial build-up of anger start to cease, she’s supposed to be mad, she’s supposed to want to throw shit and scream until her throat prevents her from screaming anymore, at least that’s what she thinks she’s supposed to feel, but instead she just feels like a fool. She thinks back to the first time she kissed Kelley, and what followed; Tobin’s words ring in her ear, causing an uneasy feeling to bubble in the pit of her stomach.

 

“ _If anyone hurts anyone, it’ll be Kelley not you._ ”

 

Alex is confused, and hurt, and she hates it all.

 

Kelley returns to the room, shuffling in, her eyes are red and puffy and she has her bottom lip tugged between her teeth, those are the first things Alex notices but she doesn’t bring them up, she barely keeps her gaze on Kelley for longer than two seconds before she’s standing up and walking past her and into the bathroom, fighting against herself, she doesn’t want to back down and accept it, she is many things but she is not a pushover; if Kelley wants her back, then she’s going to have to work for it. They get food separately, they get ready separately; Alex taking over the bathroom, they don’t see each other until Alex is dressed and back in the room, “C-Can we pretend everything is okay? Just for the wedding.” Kelley’s the first to finally speak up, and Alex spins, nodding quickly. “Of course.” She mutters, and Kelley seems satisfied with the answer. They don’t see anybody until they reach the lobby of the hotel; Erin and Jerry are waiting for them; Karen and Dan too; and Alex reluctantly slips her hand into Kelley’s, taking the defender by surprise as they approach the O’Hara family. “You two look like shit, have you even slept? Or are you just hung-over?” Jerry wonders, taking in the pair’s tired eyes,

 

“I bet we still look better than you.” Kelley shoots back, the playfulness returning to her voice and her eyes. “Hey!” Jerry protests, his arms out wide, “I look great.”

 

“You look _okay._ ” Erin joins in, joining forces with Kelley to tease their brother. “Now, now you three, it’s not the time or place, let’s go.” Karen cuts off their banter before it escalates and ushers the four of them to the car, where Erin’s boyfriend and Jerry’s girlfriend are already waiting for them. They split into two cars; Alex sits by the window, thankfully and chooses to spend the drive to the church staring out of the window, but Kelley’s hand inadvertently brushes her thigh every few minutes and it sends a shiver down the back of her neck, and she hates it, at this point, Alex is hating the fact she can still feel anything instead of complete emptiness. After the fourth time it happens, Alex reaches over and wraps her hand around Kelley’s, she doesn’t look in her direction but she also doesn’t let her hand go until they arrive at the venue. They arrive at the church to the news that Drew hasn’t arrived yet, and panic begins setting it; Karen immediately thinking the worse thinking her nephew has bolted, left the state, maybe even the country, to which Kelley offers up a completely unhelpful and sarcastic response,

 

“Chelsea’s already here,” Kelley tells Drew when he and his best man arrive, racing up to the church breathlessly. “W-What?!” He exclaims, his eyes widening as Kelley stifles her laughter. “I have never seen you this nervous.” Kelley continues to amuse herself with her cousin’s ragged behavior, “You’re annoying.” Drew punches her shoulder, lightly before running into the church. The guests begin to enter the church and take their seats; Alex sits in-between Erin and Kelley, and she feels Kelley’s eyes on her, staring at her, and her heart rate starts to speed up and so she hisses at Kelley to knock it off without bringing any unwanted attention to them, especially from Erin who is beginning to notice the small but subtle differences between the pair from last night to now, and especially when she notices the distance between where they are both sitting.

 

~

 

The wedding is a beautiful ceremony, there are tears in everybody’s eyes as Drew stumbles over his vows, holding Chelsea’s hands and looking at her with so much love in his eyes, Chelsea almost breaks down in tears as she recites her own, rubbing her thumbs over Drew’s hands, she smiles and pulls him close, and after their first kiss as man and wife; Drew bursts out in his own goofball way. “LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!”

 

~

 

That’s exactly what happens, the guests arrive at the reception, and mingle with each other, catching up and introducing themselves; Alex’s hand is loosely intertwined with Kelley’s but the pair are talking to different people, barely even gazing in the other’s direction. Erin swoops in when Alex is alone, casually resting her arm around the younger’s shoulders, “Let’s talk.” The ominous words have left her lips and she’s leading Alex away before Alex even realizes what’s happening. They weave in and out of tables, dodge guests and manage to make it out of the room and into the hallway in one piece. Erin paces the hallway, once, twice until she stops and leans against the wall; watching Alex who is yet to move, her hands pressed into her sides. “She told me what happened.” Erin’s the first to break the silence, “If you’re going to take her side, which I know you might – I mean she is your sister after all, can you just make it quick.”

 

“I love Kell, I do, but what she did was wrong; I just want to know how you’re feeling.” Erin pushes herself off the wall and approaches Alex, “I should be angry.” Alex admits, “I am angry, I guess, but I don’t feel angry.”

 

“That’s understandable.” Erin says softly, “I’m not trying to influence how you handle this, or even plead Kelley’s case; but you know, she does hate herself for what she did, she doesn’t want to lose you.” Erin awaits Alex’s reaction and is satisfied when the brunette nods, Erin gets ready to go back to the reception when Alex catches her elbow and causes her to turn around. “W-What’s the deal with Kell and her ex?” Alex asks and she can feel Erin tense, and intake a sharp breath. “She broke Kelley’s heart.” Erin tries to play it off, but the hurt in her voice only further fuels Alex’s intrigue. “Listen, I don’t think I should be the one telling you – ask Kelley.”

 

“If I ask Kell, I’ll be waiting until I’m dead for her to tell me, I promise I won’t tell her you told me,” Alex knew she sounded desperate, but she just wanted, no, she needed to understand. “So, Ann and Kelley, they have – uh – they had this thing going on from when they were fifteen up until last year, it was on/off-” Erin is cut off when Alex holds her hand up, thinking back to a conversation between herself and Kelley in Arizona, the first girl she kissed, fifteen years old, experiment, the words were coming back and Alex wasn’t convinced, until she put the pieces together. “Was Ann, the first girl Kelley ever kissed?” She asks and Erin looks surprised, she raises her eyebrows raised as she starts to ask why, until Alex shakes her head, claiming it’s not important. “What happened between them?” Alex questions, “Ann broke her heart, not to be dramatic but she destroyed Kelley in the space of a few days, and that’s why she screwed up so much last year – I know it doesn’t seem like that could be the reason why but it was, even I don’t know why Kelley reacted the way she did, she jeopardized so much.”

 

“… It just doesn’t seem, never mind, how did she break her heart?”

 

“She had been playing Kell for months, and Stanford were days away from playing in a college cup match against USC; she broke up with her out of the blue, and Kelley went on to concede the winning PK and got herself sent off because her head wasn’t right, that was the start. It wasn’t the first time Ann broke up with her because she was bored, Kelley just loved her too much, so much that she was blinded by how awful she is.” Erin stops talking when she catches Alex staring down at the floor, “You know you’re good for her, she talks about you all the time. She really cares about you.”

 

“I know.” Alex mumbles, “Thanks Erin.” Alex turns and rushes back into the reception.

 

Kelley and Alex avoid each other for most of the night; but at the order of Erin, they dance together once just to keep the suspicious glares from Dan and Karen making an appearance. “I’m sorry.” Kelley says, not letting go of Alex’s hand after they finish dancing. “I know.” Alex replies, her words are less harsh but they are still filled with a bitter undertone, she might feel bad for Kelley after finding out what happened between her and her ex, but that doesn’t mean she was ready to just forgive and forget.

 

The rest of the night consisted of bad dancing, endless drinks and absurd family secrets being spilt, with the hopes that everyone was too drunk to remember them the following morning.

 

The following morning arrives and Alex and Kelley are both grateful that their flight back is in the morning, neither wanting to stick around and keep up their ‘everything is fine’ charade any longer, they needed space from each other; or Alex needed space from Kelley, either way, neither of them have ever been this grateful to get back to school. Kelley says goodbye to her siblings, and nods in response to her parents; Alex takes a little longer, being gracious. “Don’t be a stranger.”

 

“I don’t think I could,” Alex smiles, overly-fake but Karen doesn’t seem to pick up on that. Erin watches them, a worried expression on her face, silently begging they manage to work this out.

 

The flight home is tense, between the obvious tension between Kelley and Alex, the screaming four year old behind them and the fact that both of them are somehow running on hangovers and two and a half hour sleep, it was essentially the flight from hell; and Alex has never been so grateful to see the tarmac. They grab their bags and silently walk through the airport but are stopped when Alex hears her name being screeched before hearing a familiar voice shout “Oh my god Moe! You sound like a dying cat!” It doesn’t take long for Alex to find her three roommates, and especially not when she notices the sign that Moe is holding above her head, and in purple glitter, ‘WE MISSED YOU GUYS’ is visible for the pair to see, and so they quicken their pace and Alex leaves her bags before the three of them can tackle her and Kelley in a hug, the defender still holding her bag and ending up falling backwards and tripping over it, landing on her back with Morgan falling and landing on her stomach. “We have only been gone two days guys.” Alex laughs, opening her arms for Sydney to hug her, and for the first time since they left; a genuine smile appears on Kelley’s face, and it causes an uneasy feeling to build in Alex’s stomach. “How was the wedding?” Julie asks when she _finally_ helps Morgan and Kelley up, “It was – good.” Alex shrugs, although her answer was hesitant. “It was nice to be back home,” Kelley also shrugs. “Kelley O’Hara happy to be back in Georgia?”

 

“Shut up,” she laughs, shoving Morgan’s shoulder as the five head out to Julie’s Range Rover.

 

Putting on a united front; Alex comes to find out that she is better at lying than she thinks she is as she makes up a ridiculous string of events that happened over the weekend – although, they are certainly believable when their friends remember that Kelley was at the forefront of the majority of her lies; and for a brief ten minutes, it’s almost like the memory of the weekend was completely forgotten. Julie looks through the rearview mirror, her gaze falling on Alex and something rubs the defender the wrong way, sure, Alex is laughing and telling them about their weekend but something’s missing and Julie couldn’t quite put her finger on it, she makes a note to ask her about it later.

 

“How was the game?”

 

Alex switches attention to the game that the pair missed out on over the weekend against Georgetown, and Sydney flies into a fit of rage about how the ‘dumb-fuck of a center back kept throwing her to the ground at every chance she got’. They had won the game, but Syd was _only_ keen on focusing on the negative aspect of the game including swiveling awkwardly in the front seat to expose the foot long bruise on her ribcage that she had to remember the game by, and she slapped Morgan’s hand away when the brunette tried to poke it at it. “Practice was so quiet without you KO.” Julie shrugged, glancing once again at the couple sitting in the back seat. “We really missed Paul yelling at you.”

 

“He _loves_ me really, I’m his star.”

 

“SHUT UP!” Syd exclaimed, a look of disdain on her face. “Dude chill, it was a joke.” Kelley stifled her laughter and watched as the striker furrowed her eyebrows, “Really Kell? A joke?” Syd wondered, and Kelley waited for a second before scrunching her nose as she laughed. “No, I was being serious.” Syd turns and huffs as she throws herself back into the seat. When they finally arrive back at the apartment; Alex is grabbing her bags and slinging one over her shoulder when Julie curls her hand around the forward’s bicep, gently tugging her away from the trunk of the car,

 

“KO, where is your car?” Morgan asked, “Press picked it up for me on Friday?” Kelley replied, although she didn’t sound sure herself, but that was all Alex heard when Julie tugged her away from the other three. “How was the weekend?”

 

“I told you?” Alex laughs nervously, her grip on her bag strap tightening evermore. “Al, even you’re not that good of a liar.” Julie folds her arms, and Alex purses her lips, desperate to not spill what really happened, she needed to tell someone, but she was not going to tell Julie when Kelley was in ear-shot of them, after all she didn’t feel like breaking up a fight. “It’s really nothing, it was a good weekend, I just didn’t sleep much…” Alex trailed off and usually she would laugh at the disgusted face that JJ would pull, but JJ’s expression remained stoic – there was no way she believed a word of it, Alex rolls her eyes as she realizes sharing a room with the defender had caused her to pick up on more than one of her characteristics – much to her dismay of course.

 

~

 

Alex has the day to herself, thankful that for the time being Julie seems to have let the subject go, although subconsciously she knows that JJ hasn’t let it go entirely and she is probably going to want to talk about it when Alex is on the verge of falling asleep tonight, and sure that the two across the hall have crashed to save either one barging in, but still, Julie seems to be acting off to how she would normally act – for one thing, she’s a lot less subdued to whatever fuckery Morgan and Emily (who turned up sometime between Alex going for a nap and waking up) were getting into, in fact; Julie hadn’t really spoken and had resorted to responding in grunts and subtle nods of her head, and spent the majority of the day with her head buried in her text book. It wasn’t until Ali sent a text to the group chat reminding them that they were going to dinner at their house that evening, and Julie and Alex were in their bedroom, looking through their closets for something to wear. “JJ,” Alex’s voice is unusually small. The blonde turns and nods in response, “You’re right. You _were_ right.” She swallows thickly as she awaits her response and Julie smiles softly. “I like where this is going, what happened?” Julie’s smile falters when she catches the sullen grey flashing across her blue eyes, “What did you do?”

 

“I didn’t do anything!” Alex protests, “Okay, what did Kelley do?” Julie waits and Alex hesitates before shaking her head rapidly, standing up and trying to leave the room but Julie is quicker and she wraps Alex in her arms, “Whatever it is, it’s okay, I’m sure of it.” Julie soothes and Alex inadvertently scoffs, “This isn’t fine JJ! It’s so far from fine!” Julie lets her go and Alex spins around to face her, and she falls silent, she opens her mouth to admit what happened but she can’t, and instead different words tumble out, and they’re jumbled up and Julie doesn’t seem to understand any of it at first. “Slow down,” She puts her hand up, stopping Alex’s rambling abruptly. “Kelley kissed someone else.” The words are slow and clear and Julie pretends she doesn’t hear them at first, mainly because she knows if she heard them right, she was ready to go and storm over to the other apartment and flip her shit. “I don’t know what to do…” Alex trails off, starting to pace the room. “I do know what to do, I should break up with her, right? But I can’t, I can’t, I can’t hurt her Jules, because I care more about her stupid feelings than the fact she kissed her ex-girlfriend!” Alex’s voice rises with every word, but she doesn’t stop pacing. “I’m stupid! Tobin warned me! Why didn’t I listen?!” Alex continues to thrash her arms about and Julie lets her, she was in no way going to try and talk her down whilst she was raging. “She told me she loved me JJ, what kind of dumbass does this to someone they ‘love’?”

 

“Kelley loves you?”

 

Alex stops and faces her friend, “That’s all you heard?” She questions, her eyebrows furrowed, and Julie offers her a sheepish smile in return before taking two strides and stopping in front of her. “What do you want to do?” Julie asks her and Alex takes a second to think, “I want Kelley to grovel for my forgiveness.” She replies and JJ ignores the harsh and bitter undertones in her voice. “Why aren’t you two ready – wait, Al, why are you crying?” Syd’s jaw drops when she catches the few tears falling down Alex’s cheeks and her strike partner is quick to pull her hand across her cheeks to get rid of them. “Allergies.” Alex replies, her voice slightly hoarse from the continuous yelling she did. “It’s November?” Syd reminds her, confused. “ALLERGIES SYD.” Alex shouts but the brunette is smiling and Syd accepts it, rolling her eyes. “Sure, whatever you say Morgan.”

 

“I didn’t say anything.” Morgan’s voice can be heard from nearby. “Not you, dumbass.” Syd mumbles, glancing over her shoulder.

 

Twenty minutes later and they are ready and heading over to ‘ _the best senior house’_ yes the name idea was Ashlyn’s. They arrive the same time as Allie, Tobin, Christen and _Kelley_. The death glare that Julie sends the freckled woman doesn’t go unnoticed by Alex who jabs the blonde in the ribs. “Don’t make a scene; I don’t need the team knowing.” Alex warns her and holds her hand up when Julie tries to protest, “ _Please,_ for me?” Alex pleads and Julie nods, linking her arm with Alex as they walk over to greet the other four. “Did you miss me?” Alex makes a scene of throwing her arms around Tobin, and swaying the both of time side to side, forcefully. “I did – you actually score from my through balls.”

 

“It was one pass Tobin,” Syd huffs, folding her arms and overdramatically rolling her eyes. After entering the house, the eight of them split up and Alex doesn’t have to turn around to know that Kelley is following her, she also doesn’t have to turn around to know that Christen is watching the pair of them. “You told JJ.” It isn’t a question and it takes Alex by surprise as she walks into the kitchen, she tightens her grip on one of the bottles of beer, Kelley patiently waits for a response, also reaching for a bottle of beer. “You told Press.” Comes Alex’s response and Kelley simply shrugs. “She’s my best friend, I needed her.” Kelley simply says and Alex finds herself scoffing again, but she doesn’t respond. “I’m sorry Al.” Kelley tries to reach across to take her hand but Alex backs off and Kelley retracts her hand. “I didn’t mean it – I just, I couldn’t stop it.” Kelley meets Alex’s eyes, and for a brief second Alex almost forgives her until she regains her composure and she straightens up, putting the bottle to her lips and taking a long sip. “Couldn’t or didn’t want to?” Alex inquires, and Kelley falls silent again, and Alex is just about to leave when she spots Amy and Ali together, until she hears them, and she tries desperately hard to not let the pull of ‘I love you’ have her running straight back into the defender’s arms. “ _I love you_ doesn’t fix anything.” Alex says to her before she’s walking through the house and slipping easily into the conversation with Amy and Ali; both of who are happy to see her back. The plan whilst at the house was to watch the USMNT in a friendly against Costa Rica and with just under an hour until kickoff; Ashlyn and Alex were in the kitchen, Alex sitting on the counter watching as Ashlyn finished cooking their dinner of spaghetti Carbonara; “I didn’t know you could cook.” Alex acknowledges, looking over the keeper’s shoulder, Ashlyn turns around and points the wooden spoon at the forward. “I am a woman of many talents Alex,” Ashlyn winks and brings a small laugh from the brunette. “Hey Al, what’s up with you and KO?”

 

“Nothing.” Alex’s reply is too quick for the keeper’s liking and Alex knows it when Ashlyn raises her eyebrows incredulously. “You two are usually joined by the hip, what’s up?” Ashlyn turns the stove down and turns around, facing her with her arms folded and Alex begins to shrink under her friend’s gaze. “I’ll kick KO’s ass if I have to,” Ashlyn shrugs, a smirk playing on her lips and whilst shaking her head; Alex reminds her that she wouldn’t. “I know but the sentiment was there.” Ashlyn replies and gestures for Alex to join her, “Taste this, and then tell Ali I’m the better-”

 

“Tell Ali you’re the better what, _babe_?” Ali joins the pair and Alex stifles her laughter. “Nothing love.” Ashlyn leans forward and kisses her quickly.

 

The house is quite big, the living room is also pretty big but when the entire team are piled in the room together, they’re almost sitting on top of each other, but their focus shifts to kickoff for the USA, and over the loud and obnoxious yelling of Sonny and Kling who were arguing over who was the more patriotic of the pair, Tobin and Ashlyn offering up sarcastic commentary and the USA going a goal down after 3 minutes – which surprisingly doesn’t come as a shock to the girls, the plates are piled high on the table as the USA continue to find chances missed, and opportunities to level the score go array. “This is bullshit!” Kelley and Tobin shout in unison when a stonewall penalty kick appeal is waved away by the referee. The half comes to an end with the USA still losing by 1-0. Alex shuffles further back against the wall and pulls her phone out of her pocket, yawning as she replies to a few texts and checks her social media when she feels Kelley move closer to her, “What can I do?”

 

“Not kiss your ex-girlfriend?” Alex suggests, slightly bitterer than intended but it doesn’t deter Kelley, “I could say I’m sorry a thousand times-”

 

“Please, Kelley, just don’t.” Alex stops her, “I don’t want to hear you apologize again. I just – It’s going to take a lot more than this.” Alex tries hard to keep her voice low and level and to avoid looking in Kelley’s direction, and Kelley sighs heavily, she can see Alex biting down on her bottom lip and the blood coming through and she hates herself even more, “Come with me, _please_.” Kelley begs, holding her hand out as she stands up. Alex looks up at her, confused more than anything but Kelley doesn’t change her facial expression and Alex finds herself giving in easier than she would have liked; she takes the other girl’s hand and Kelley leads them out of the room and through the house until they are sitting on the patio outside, at the table, ignoring the empty glasses and empty bottles of beer. Alex curls up in the chair, hugging herself as she shivers, and Kelley notices so she sheds her jean jacket from over her hoodie and holds it out to Alex, who hesitates upon taking it first, leading Kelley to furrow her eyebrows but Alex just takes the jacket and slips it on, reveling in the warmth it was giving her, and ignoring the scent of peppermint and the perfume that _usually_ has her head spinning. “Erin told me she told you about her…”

 

“She also told me you don’t want to lose me,” Alex huffs, “I don’t, but that’s not my point.” Kelley tells her, “She caught me off-guard.” Alex just scoffs and she is just about to leave to go back and watch the game when Kelley’s next words stopped her. “She has this – this psychological hold on me, she has since we were fifteen.” Alex lifts her head and nods for Kelley to continue, “I – I – um, she played me for years, she chooses when she wants me – usually it’s when there’s another girl, she tries to ruin any chances of me moving on.” Kelley continues to stumble over her words. “I thought when we actually dated things would change – but she was still, _Ann_ – it was weirdly controlling, when she broke up with me, it screwed me up…” Kelley trails off, and drops her head, and in the space of a few seconds; Kelley’s shoulders start to shake violently as she sobs, and it causes Alex to completely freeze up; this is unknown territory, also, she’s pretty useless at comforting people. She debates running in to get Christen, or Cheney, someone who would know the right words to say. “I – ruined – everything.” Kelley manages to choke out in-between sobs, and Alex swallows her pride to get up and kneel down in front of Kelley, gently prying her girlfriend’s hands away from her face, and her heart breaks at how broken the freckled woman looks, “I just – I screwed up Al.”

 

“Yeah,” Alex laughs slightly, “You really did.” She says without a hint of bitterness in her voice, instead draws circles into the denim of Kelley’s jeans as the defender takes deep breaths to control her crying and regain an ounce of composure. Alex is about to say something when the cheering from inside the house cuts her off, “We’ll finish this later, okay?” Alex asks and waits for Kelley to nod slightly, so the forward leans up and presses a soft kiss to Kelley’s cheek before she heads back into the house, but not before stopping and turning around. “Are you coming?” She asks Kelley who was yet to move, “I’ll just be a minute.” She replies her voice hoarse from the sobbing and Alex nods, and continues walking back into the house.

 

~

 

Throughout the week; Kelley and Alex are on slightly better terms, but still barely say two words to the other, in fact; much to their teammates’ surprise; both girls focus harder on their assignments and studying for finals than they had since school started, and both are on fire in the training sessions before Friday evening’s home game against Colorado. Even Paul is surprised by Kelley complete switch in her attitude towards soccer, she’s turning up earlier for sessions, sometimes when Paul finally arrives in time for practice to begin; Kelley has already been out on the field juggling a ball for around ten minutes; he doesn’t question what changed, but silently hoped it would continue. Alex was on fire in front of goal, making shot and after shot, sending stinging effort after effort past Ashlyn and Alyssa before they even had the chance to dive for it.

 

They beat Colorado 4-0.

 

They celebrate with an early night and promises to meet up for breakfast on Saturday morning.

 

~

 

“The college cup third round is next week-” Becky isn’t given a chance to finish what she was saying when the team starts hollering, all more than a little excited and hyped about reaching the third round of the tournament for the first time in two years, even Becky cracks a smile at her teammates, “We’re going to win it this year, guys.” She says determinedly, “hell yeah we are!” Kelley yells above everybody else, “the college cup is our tourney!”

 

“Berkeley have won it since you last made it to the semi-final.” Alex reminds her, and Kelley pulls a disgusted face. “You got lucky.”

 

“We won 5-0 in two consecutive rounds.” Alex informed her, “Exactly, they got lucky; you were their striker; they suck this year.”

 

“They suck every year.” Emily joined in on the bashing, soon the entire team have taken over the waffle house and joined in on bashing every other team in the third round of the tournament. “GUYS!” Becky whistled and grabbed their attention, “This wasn’t even my point,” she laughed and watched as the yelling and insulting died down to the point where everyone could finally hear themselves think again. “I think we can win it this year.” She simply shrugged, “I know you guys want it this year more than ever, it’s our last chance after all…”

 

 

“We’re going to win it.” Tobin spoke up, balancing her fork on top of her empty glass. “This is the best team we have had, nobody’s injured this time.” She says, pointing to Allie and Sam who share identical sheepish smiles, with both their central midfielders getting injured within the space of three days of each other; Sam with a concussion and Allie with a torn hamstring, the squad had to be shuffled and Paul lost his mind when he put Tobin in as a defensive midfielder for their first round game against Notre Dame, it’s fair to say, that defeat was a horror show from start to finish. “This year is different guys.” Tobin turned to Christen and smiled, “Tobin’s right, it’s – this is our last college cup run…”

 

“It’s 11AM, I am not in the mood for getting emotional.” Syd deadpanned, looking between her teammates. “That’s because you don’t have an emotional bone in your body.” Ali huffed, discreetly wiping at her cheek, thinking about how this was the best chance she has ever had to be on the field when they win something. “I do so!” Syd protested, folding her arms. “I cried at the bachelor.” She adds, and the team erupts into a fit of laughter, if there was ever something said that absolutely described Sydney Leroux in the best way – that was it. The conversation flowed easier after that, with the team in better moods, all excited for the upcoming first round match against Auburn in Florida this coming Friday. After the breakfast had finished, the team all went their separate ways; except for Alex, Christen, Julie and Tobin who were all heading back to the library to get some studying in for finals in just a few weeks. Once they were there and set up at a table towards the back; Alex tried desperately hard to focus on her books, on politics but she felt eyes on her and she was right when she glanced up to find Christen looking at her, but Alex couldn’t determine what her mood was; she didn’t look mad, but then again, Alex had only seen her angry once and she didn’t look the same as that, but she also didn’t look hurt, she looked, fine, but even without being a genius; Alex knew something was bothering her, so when Alex leaves the table to go and get some coffee; she isn’t surprised when Christen follows her. “Spit it out Press.” Alex huffs, her annoyance starting to seep through, but Alex is taken aback when Christen just hugs her and mumbles that she’s sorry.

 

“Why are _you_ sorry?” Alex asks, hugging the other striker back. “I love Kell, like, I seriously love her but I’m sorry she hurt you.” Christen leaned back, laughing slightly as she blinked away the tears in her eyes. “I warned her; I told her I didn’t want either of you to get hurt – she told me she couldn’t hurt you. I guess – I should have warned-”

 

“Tobin warned me.” Alex interjects and takes in the bemused expression taking over Christen’s features. “After I kissed her, the first time, Tobin dragged me out of bed during the middle of the night and she warned me, told me that if anyone hurts anyone; Kelley would hurt me.” Alex shrugs, though she reverts back to her nervous habit of biting her nails. “I guess that was my first sign, I just – actually, can I ask you something?” Alex asked as she and Christen grab their coffee, and sit down at one of the tables. “Anything, what’s up?” Christen is stirring her coffee when Alex asks her the question. “How did you know you loved Tobin?”

 

“… I just knew.” Christen smiles when she looks up, but it falters slightly when she sees the unimpressed look on Alex’s face. “I mean, I guess, it was the small things she did that made me really happy, like when she remembered my coffee order, or she knew that classes were getting me down, she would always try to make me happy when she could see I wasn’t, just those things that friends would do for each other – they made me happier when Tobin did them than if JJ or Ali did them for me, not that I didn’t appreciate them!” She rushes to add, “It’s just, when Tobin did it; it was different.” Christen bites down on her bottom lip, “I’m sorry that probably doesn’t help – wait – do you, do you love Kelley?” She asks and Alex’s eyes widen, “What? No, don’t be stupid, I don’t love Kelley, I mean, I love Kelley but I don’t you know, _love_ her.”

 

“JJ’s right,” Christen acknowledges, “You’re a terrible liar Alex.”

 

“Is it really that obvious?” Alex questions, choosing to not to keep the charade up, the whole team probably knows they both love each other. “Sort of, I mean, if you ignore Emily, Sam, and Kling – them, who probably wouldn’t notice if an earthquake hit in the middle of night, most of the team have caught on.” She explains, “When did you know?” Alex asks, prodding Christen for an answer. “When Kelley returned from D.C. and the first thing she wanted to do was take you out on a date, she hadn’t slept much, she was running on pure adrenaline but you were the most important person to her in that moment. That’s when I, guessed. So, when did you know?”

 

“I don’t know if I do, I know I like her, a lot, but I don’t know if its love.”

 

“What changed? What got you thinking it could be love?”

 

“When I got Kell to agree to dance with me at the rehearsal dinner…” Alex trailed off, her face heating up as she smiles at Kelley taking the lead, “You got Kelley to dance?” Christen’s tone is surprised more than anything, “I mean, she dances, but I have never once seen Kelley slow dance with anybody.”

 

“She made an exception.” Alex smiles, “I guess, it just sort of hit me, or maybe it was just the wedding fever, it was probably the wedding.” Alex tries to brush it off as though it’s nothing, “it’s okay.” Christen reminds her softly, reaching across and holding Alex’s hand. “Isn’t it too fast? I’ve only known her for a few months.”

 

“I’ve known Tobin since I met her at our first training session, and as Kelley and Ali like to remind me, apparently I looked at her then like I had been in love with Tobin all along. I mean, I spent the majority of my freshman, and sophomore year turning up for training and having at least three of my teammates sneak up on me when I was looking at Tobin and asking me ‘what was up with the Heath-heart-eyes?’” Christen rolls her own eyes, “I didn’t, I mean, I liked staring at her, but that was it!”

 

Alex just starts laughing, “I’ve never seen you this flustered over Tobin before.” She says to her and Christen blushes further before gently knocking her own ankle against Alex’s under the table. “We should probably go back,” Christen says standing up and grabbing her drink, “You’re probably right, back to politics,” She pulls a disgusted face as she stands up and follows Christen out and back to their table. Christen slips back into her seat beside Tobin as the midfielder leans over to kiss her cheek, and Alex smiles, looking down, maybe Christen is right.

 

~

 

The four go their separate ways after spending another two hours studying; or Tobin decides to call an end to the studying when the sun starts to set and the midfielder can no longer keep her eyes open. Alex and Julie take a detour on the way home to go and get some ice-cream after JJ complains that her throat is beginning to hurt, which Alex just rolls her eyes at, citing that Julie doesn’t need an excuse for them to go and buy some ice-cream. Tobin and Christen walk up to their apartment, walking in they say hey to Alyssa who is watching football whilst studying herself. “Dinner?”

 

“You’re going to cook?” Christen asks, surprised by the offer. “Don’t seem so surprised, I can be chivalrous.”

 

“That’s – that’s not the meaning of the word chivalrous, but good effort babe; and yes, dinner sounds great; I’m just going to see KO, okay?” Tobin nods absentmindedly as she sifts through the cupboards looking for something to cook, but even Tobin knows it’s probably going to end up being pasta because that’s the only thing she has been successful at cooking since living away from home. Christen walks down the hall and knocks on the door to Kelley’s room, and when she doesn’t get an answer; she opens it slightly, figuring the defender probably crashed when she was studying, but to Christen’s surprise; Kelley isn’t in her room. “HEY LYSS?! IS KELL HERE?” Christen shouts through the apartment. “SHE SAID SHE LEFT HER PHONE IN THE LOCKER ROOM, SHE LEFT TO GO AND GET IT.” Alyssa shouts back, and Christen shrugs, realizing she would just see her when she got back, but it isn’t until she spots her hoodie on the edge of Kelley’s bed does she roll her eyes, “Damnit Kell, stop stealing my stuff.” She mumbles to herself, entering the room and walking over to retrieve the item of clothing; when she lifts the hoodie up though she finds Kelley’s phone on her bed and she furrows her eyebrows, looking down at the phone lying on the bed; she picks up the phone, rolling her eyes at the cracked corner of the screen, it’s definitely Kelley’s phone, but Christen gets confused when wondering why Kelley would lie, until her phone flashes again with a message received nearly fifteen minutes ago.

 

_I love you, Stanford. –_

 

Christen’s eyes widen when she reads the message, knowing there is only one person who gave Kelley the nickname Stanford. “Oh my god, oh shit.”

 

Christen, still with the phone in her hand runs through the apartment, ignoring Tobin’s calls, and Alyssa’s, she runs down the stairwell at full-speed almost going flying into the door, she yanks it open with much more force than she should have before she runs down the street and spots Julie and Alex walking towards their apartment complex. “ALEX, JJ.” Both girls stop and turn, smiling when they see Christen rushing towards them, “Hey Press; what’s up?” Alex asks, and Christen stops in front of them, waving her hand around for a second to catch her breath, but when that alludes her; she shoves the phone into Alex’s hand and the forward reads the text from the unknown number. “I don’t get.”

 

“It’s – Ann – that’s her – number” Christen manages to get out through breaths, but Alex and Julie exchange a confused look before turning back to Christen and for Alex to hand over the phone. “Christen – I – we’re not following.” Alex smiles nervously; not understanding why Christen is panicking, not yet catching onto the fact.

 

“It’s Kelley – she’s gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another month, another update; this story (and my others) are probably going to take more time to be updated now because i'm back in college and life is stressful guys,
> 
> also, I rewrote this chapter 4/5 times and I still don't think I love it? but who knows, maybe my own opinion can be changed


	21. Did You Just Say Bad Gay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so fucking sorry... it's been 4 months... i have no words... please forgive me oh my gosh
> 
> i don't even know how this hiatus came about but to everybody who's been on at me to update (i'm looking at you Kim because i know you're reading this) it's finally here and this cliffhanger has been a long one, huh? i'll try and stay up to date with my updates now :)) thank you for sticking with it though!

“I – uh – Christen we’re not following. What do you mean? Where’s Kelley gone?” Alex asks, furrowing her eyebrows before glancing sideways to Julie who just shrugs.

 

“I don’t know!” Christen exclaims throwing her arms up in despair. “I got back, she had left her phone and gone, no one knows – not me, not Alyssa or Tobin.”

 

Julie and Alex exchange nervous glances and Alex tries to ignore the way her heartbeat violently starts to beat faster, so fast that at one point, Alex thinks her heart might burst out of her chest; Alex closes her eyes, trying to will herself to calm down and stop the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes from falling. Alex stamps her foot petulantly before opening her eyes again and the directions are flowing out of her mouth before she can stop them.

 

“Get the team and ask them if anybody’s seen her, send half of them out to _anywhere_ Kelley would go and JJ, can I borrow your car?” Alex asks holding her hand out to the blonde.

 

“Where are you going?” Christen asks as Julie digs in her sweatpants pocket looking for her car keys.

 

“Where I think Kelley might be.” Alex answers albeit distractedly as Julie hands the keys to her.

 

Alex doesn’t waste anymore time before she’s getting into Julie’s Range Rover, starting the engine and driving, not even glancing through the rearview mirror back to Christen and Julie who are watching until the Range Rover is out of sight. Christen turns to Julie; opening and closing her mouth as she furrows her eyebrows before pulling her phone out of her pocket, opening the group chat and sending a message to the rest of the team and within five minutes; the team had all left their apartments, the library, their food and were splitting up and looking for their lost teammate.

 

Alex sighs; tilting her head to the side as she tightens the grip on the steering wheel to the point where her knuckles begin to turn white, her phone is swinging in her free hand where she’s gripping it with her thumb and forefinger hoping that it’ll just vibrate any second and Kelley will tell her she’s safe and not done one of the twenty stupid things from the top of Alex’s head. Alex has a strong feeling she knows where Kelley’s run off to thanks to something she told her a few months back. The signs start to come into view so Alex turns off and drives down the side road until she stops at the entrance; the sign (if not muddier than it was last time) showing the one place Alex is _sure_ Kelley’s at. Alex killed the engine and got out of the car, shutting the door and locking it before entering Los Trancos and pulling the collar of her sweatshirt up further around her neck as she started walking. Alex glances down to her phone, ignoring the only notification being from Julie asking if she’s had any luck yet. Alex walks the initial hike before placing her palms flat against the wooden fence and jumping it with less of an issue than she had last time where she fell into Kelley’s arms. Facing the hill causes Alex’s shoulders to drop but she climbs it anyway, wiping away beads of sweat from her forehead with her sleeve as she reaches the top and spies a figure sitting close to the edge and _really_ Alex doesn’t need any confirmation because she knows it’s Kelley just by the back of her.

 

“I’m guessing you’re having a bad day?” Alex’s voice is loud enough to cause Kelley to flinch, jump up and turn around to face Alex; only then does Kelley begin to relax. “The whole team’s worried about you, Christen is panicking.”

 

Kelley nods and stuffs her hands into her pockets. “I needed space.” Kelley replies, a vague explanation.

 

“She – Christen showed me the text…” Alex trails off, unsure of whether this is the right way to bring it up or not or if it’s just going to send Kelley running away again. “She’s really got you stuck, hasn’t she?” Alex asks and ignores the feeling of jealousy hitting the pit of her stomach. “I get it though, Hannah was the same-”

 

“You don’t have the first clue what this is like!” Kelley bursts out, cutting Alex off. “It’s nothing like what Hannah did to you!”

 

Alex stumbles backwards from the sheer force and harshness in Kelley’s tone, Alex takes a deep breath, closing her eyes so she can calm down because the last thing she plans to do at this moment is engage in _another_ argument. Flashes of remorse appear in Kelley’s eyes for a second before she’s scowling again and avoiding Alex’s eyes.

 

“You’re right.” Alex concedes, pursing her lips as she waits for Kelley to lift her head and meet Alex’s eyes, confusion etched over her face. “I have absolutely _no_ idea what this feels like, I haven’t had to go through something like this.”

 

“Comforting.” Kelley scoffs,

 

An idea, it may be a bad idea but an idea nonetheless strikes Alex immediately and she’s quick to cross the grass so that she’s standing in front of Kelley. Kelley’s eyes are glassed over when she meets Alex’s eyes and Alex has to keep herself from crumbling as she holds her hands out, palms facing upwards. Kelley takes the hint and places her hands in Alex’s. The idea comes from something that Alex used to have to do in elementary school when arguments ensued among her friends and herself and her teacher would have them join hands, take deep breaths and just let go of the issue. It’s not the most mature of ways to let go of something as awful as this but it couldn’t hurt to give it a shot and Alex’s brain functionality isn’t at an all-time high at the moment so really, this is the best she has.

 

“Let it go.”

 

“Singing a song from Frozen is the last thing I want to do right now.” Kelley grumbles,

 

“That’s not what I meant…” Alex trails off hoping Kelley will get the hint second time around. “She can’t control you if you don’t let her.”

 

“This is weird.” Kelley mumbles, still weighed down.

 

“It worked when I was seven.” Alex counters.

 

“… She destroyed half of who I was, you know? It’s hard to go back to being who I was and _everyone_ knows it…” Kelley trails off with a sigh, letting go of one of Alex’s hand and allowing their still joined hands to fall in-between them. “I might just win an award for being the _worst_ girlfriend.”

 

“We’re still dating?” Alex asks in mock-surprise causing Kelley to stutter and immediately backtrack until Alex has to stop her from speaking by placing her free hand over Kelley’s mouth. “It was a joke-” Alex starts but stops when Kelley glares at her “- too soon?” Alex teases nudging Kelley in the ribs with her elbow. A clap of thunder above them causes Alex to let out a strangled squeal, “We’re going back.”

 

Kelley doesn’t argue and instead lets herself be dragged back through the National Park and to Julie’s Range Rover. Alex stands outside the vehicle first as she texts Christen to call the mass search off and that the both of them are heading home now. Kelley holds her hands out for the keys, snapping her fingers until Alex rolls her eyes and hands her the keys. Alex is scrolling through the constant incoming messages in the group chat, reading through them; mainly there’s an overwhelming sense of relief that Kelley hasn’t done something completely stupid until Alex gets to Syd’s message.

 

“Tell KO she’s a dick.” Alex reads the message aloud, not realizing she has at first until Kelley tilts her head to the side, momentarily taking her eyes off the road.

 

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Kelley asks, stifling her laughter as she focuses on the road again.

 

“I would never-” Alex protests weakly. “- Syd said that.”

 

Kelley just laughs slightly, choosing not to come up with a witty comeback for once as she relaxes into the driving seat, loosening the death grip she has on the steering wheel. They drive in silence for a short while, the rain continuing to beat down against the windshield, a bolt of lightning shoots through the sky causing Alex to flinch and that’s when Kelley notices just how terrified of thunder and lightning she is.

 

“So… we’re still dating?” Kelley trails off, her voice edging to a low whisper.

 

Alex closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Only because I didn’t officially break up with you.” The harshness in Alex’s voice causes even Alex to grimace at, she hadn’t intentionally wanted to sound so mad about it. “Kelley, you kissed another girl.”

 

“I know but-” Kelley starts but Alex whips her head around quickly and stares at the side of Kelley’s head.

 

“Don’t; don’t even try to soften the blow of this.” Alex grumbles holding her hand up. “I might be too stubborn to break up with you now because deep down I know I’m stupid enough to forgive you eventually but _we_ are so fucking far from being okay, I don’t know what it’s going to take, how long it’s going to take or any of that, I just know I can’t forgive you yet. We might still technically be ‘dating’ but I can’t honestly say you’re my girlfriend without picturing you and _her_.”

 

The conversation falls dead at Alex’s words; Kelley swallowing thickly and turning her head, focusing intensely on the road as she tightens her grip on the steering wheel again, so tightly that her knuckles start to turn white as Alex shrinks back into the passenger seat, staring down at her locked phone to try and busy herself from the increasing awkwardness. The drive back to campus seems to take forever but Alex has never been so grateful to see her apartment building in the near distance. Kelley stops the car outside and Alex is jumping out, breathing in the slightly gross air feeling a weight lifted off her shoulders as Syd notices her from where she’s standing with Julie just inside the apartment lobby. The door opens as Kelley climbs out of the car, shutting the door and locking it before rounding the vehicle and walking up to Julie wordlessly handing over the keys.

 

“Are you okay?” Syd asks reaching forward and bashfully hitting Kelley in the forehead as she tries to feel her temperature. “You scared us so much, we were so worried about you.” Syd rushes out, wrapping her arms around Kelley’s head as she pulls the brunette into her chest. Kelley response is muffled. “What was that?” Syd asks letting Kelley have some room to breathe.

 

“You called me a dick in the group chat.” Kelley repeats, clearer this time as Syd laughs loudly.

 

“I meant it in a loving way.” Syd reassures Kelley who decides to let it go and just humor the striker instead. “You’re a dick and that’s why we love you.” Syd insists as she kisses the top of Kelley’s head, letting her go just as Tobin and Christen come into view.

 

Christen rushes ahead when she sees Kelley, wrapping her best friend in the tightest of hugs, speaking a mile a minute as Tobin catches up to everybody.

 

“Oh my god-” Christen breathes out. “- You had me so worried, KO. Don’t do that again.” Christen (mildly) scolds her.

 

Syd wraps her arms around Alex’s shoulders from behind, resting the side of her head against Alex’s. “Let me guess-” Syd starts and Alex tears her eyes away from Kelley and Christen. “- You two talked and didn’t get anywhere?”

 

“Am I really that obvious?” Alex asks before rolling her eyes. “We did sort of talk though. Tell me something Syd; was I stupid to not break up with her as soon as it happened?”

 

Syd slowly lifts her head and looks straight ahead, straight faced and tight-lipped as Alex watches her, she can practically see the cranks turning in her roommate’s head as she tries to come up with a comprehensive answer to the question.

 

“I don’t think I would have broken up with my boyfriend if he did it, I’d be super pissed but I don’t know. Why, do you think you should have?” Syd asks letting go of Alex and turning her around so that they’re face to face.

 

Alex shrugs, pulling at a loose thread on her sleeve. “I’m just so stupid, Syd. I care more about Kelley’s feelings and not wanting to break up with her instead of putting space between us and thinking clearly about what the fuck I want to do.”

 

The other striker sighs, a sad smile on her face as Alex bites down on her thumb nail, her gaze on everything but Kelley, despite her girlfriend looking over in her direction. “Al, you’re not stupid, you’re hurt and – oh my god!” Syd exclaims suddenly, ignoring the way Alex’s eyes grow wide at the volume change.

 

Syd grabs hold of Alex’s arm and pulls her out of earshot of the rest of their teammates. “You love her, don’t you?” Syd asks although she’s pretty sure that’s the reason why and she doesn’t actually need Alex’s confirmation.

 

“I wish everybody would stop saying that.” Alex grumbles crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t love her.”

 

“Yeah you do.” Syd shrugs in response, “You just haven’t realized it yet.”

 

Alex rolls her eyes, clearly not falling for Syd’s claim. Alex is _pretty sure_ she knows what it feels like to be in love and even if she was to fall in love with Kelley, Alex is pretty sure she’s not going to realize she’s in love with her when she’s so angry and so hurt – on the other hand, she knows her striker partner has a really good point, Alex being so reluctant to break up with Kelley, assuming they are eventually going to work through what happened, does that not mean she loves her? Or she at least has somewhat strong feelings for Kelley. All Alex does know for sure is the next few weeks are going to absolutely destroy her, probably Kelley too.

 

~

 

Alex is in the library the following day, she has her laptop and her textbook spread out in front of her, her paper is loaded onto the screen but untouched since she opened the file, instead, Alex is leaning back in the chair, balancing a highlighter on the tip of her finger as she procrastinates to the best of her abilities. The only reason Alex is in the library instead of the apartment is because at 8AM this morning on Alex’s day off; Morgan, Syd and Julie decide to have the loudest argument over cereal Alex thinks she has ever heard – it also doesn’t help that when Morgan shouts, her voice travels through walls. Yawning, Alex closes over her textbook and leans back in her chair, struggling to keep her eyes open when she feels a body throw themselves down in the chair beside her, jolting her awake; Alex glances to the side and raises her eyebrows when she spies Tobin.

 

“You do know this is a library, right Tobs?” Alex teases earning an eye roll in response from Tobin.

 

“I know, shocker.” Tobin shoots back laughing a little. “I just came to check on my buddy…” Tobin trails off scratching the back of her neck as Alex narrows her eyes.

 

“Why?” Alex asks shuffling around in the chair and bringing her knees up to her chest.

 

“KO’s a mess, Al so I was wondering how you’re doing.” Tobin grimaces as she says it and Alex can feel the tugging in her chest as she maintains her straight-faced expression and tight-lipped smile.

 

“I’m okay.” Alex shrugs. “I feel like I have to make a decision right now but I can’t even think straight – don’t even laugh.” Alex grumbles pointing her finger at Tobin when she sees the smile tugging at the corners of Tobin’s lips. “I just don’t know what to do? It also doesn’t help that Press, Syd and Julie keep telling me I’m in love with Kelley; I just don’t understand what I need to do? I need time but I also need to know now because I can’t let the both of us carry on hurting in whatever the hell this is.” Alex breathes out shakily when she finishes her rambling, glancing up to Tobin to decipher her reaction.

 

“You’re in love with Kelley?”

 

“Are you actually – why is that _always_ everybody’s first question?!” Alex groans, raising her voice a little louder than necessary.

 

Tobin holds her hands up, “Sorry I just – it’s a pretty big deal.”

 

“I don’t even know if I am.” Alex mumbles, “When did you first know you loved Christen?”

 

“… I didn’t _know._ One day it just sort of hit me that I was in love with her.” Tobin explains. “I knew I liked her but I didn’t even know what love was before her and I don’t even remember falling in love with Chris; it’s just like it happened overnight and I didn’t realize.”

 

Alex is too busy staring past Tobin to realize that her friend has finished what she was saying. Tobin snaps her fingers in front of Alex’s eyes pulling the striker out of her daydreaming haze. Alex sits back, her hand entangled in her hair as she looks at Tobin.

 

“If you didn’t realize you were in love with Press, how can I even begin to realize I’m in love with Kelley?” Alex asks and her voice shrinks with every word. “I don’t want to accept I love her and then decide to break up.”

 

“You know I can’t give you all the answers, right?” Tobin asks and Alex is quick to nod in response.

 

“I didn’t expect you to, I just needed to talk to somebody who wouldn’t try and sway my decision. JJ keeps telling me I deserve better, Syd’s useless and just talks about love all the time if she isn’t distracted by something irrelevant and Morgan is never around to actually talk to.” Alex drops her hands into her lap. “I can’t talk to Christen because I know Christen knows what’s happened between Kelley and her family but Kelley is _still so_ reluctant to tell me.”

 

“I know what happened between Kelley and her family.” Tobin has said it before she realizes and as far as hoping Alex hadn’t heard her; Tobin’s screwed because Alex looks up to meet the midfielder’s eyes, eyebrows raised. “I found out by accident-” Tobin continues, holding her hands up in surrender. “I was on Facetime with Christen when Kelley got to her house and she forgot to end the call and I _know_ I probably should have done it but I didn’t and I heard Kelley tell her everything.”

 

Alex leans back in the chair, propping her legs up on the table in front of them. “Is it bad?” Alex asks,

 

Tobin licks her lips before nodding. “Yeah, it’s bad.” She breathes out,

 

Alex sighs, “That’s what I was afraid of.”

 

 

Tobin leaves just under an hour later and Alex leaves fifteen minutes after Tobin, giving up on writing anymore of her paper because her heart and mind just were not close to being in the right place to even begin to write about financial concern issues of global warming. Alex is walking through campus, her bag slung over her shoulder when she hears footsteps running up behind her before Syd and Ashlyn are at her sides.

 

“Let me guess, you’ve come to ask me about Kelley?” Alex asks although she’s pretty certain that’s the reason why.

 

“You told her?!” Syd and Ash shout at each other, pointing accusing fingers. “I didn’t tell her, you told her!”

 

“We’re just worried about you two…” Ash trails off, slinging her arm around Alex’s shoulders. “We didn’t come to ambush you though, we’re going to buy decorations for Teamsgiving because Ali hates the ones we had last year.”

 

“Teamsgiving?”  Alex asks raising her eyebrows at the keeper.

 

“It’s like Thanksgiving but for us.” Ashlyn replies in a ‘duh’ tone and really, Alex should have guessed that’s what it meant. “We have one every year either the day before or two days before actual Thanksgiving because usually we’ll go home for Thanksgiving but we might be into the quarterfinal of the championship after tomorrow so we won’t be able to and it’s _kind of_ too late to book flights now.”

 

“We’re not trying to rush you but can you hurry up and figure out what you’re doing about your relationship; thanks babe.” Syd kisses Alex’s cheek before dragging Ashlyn by the arm and running ahead towards the keeper’s car.

 

Alex stares at them for a second before muttering a string of cuss words and storming back to the apartment building, pulling open the door and not giving a damn when it slams behind her. She stomps up the stairs, pushing open the apartment door and grumbling as she slams it, storming through the apartment and to her room, dropping her bag onto her bed and falling face first onto it, burrowing her face into the pillow as she lets out a muffled scream of all her frustration. Alex hopes nobody comes to disturb her, she can’t be dealing with Julie asking her what Kelley’s done now before reiterating that she deserves better, she doesn’t need Morgan and her attention span of a toddler, she just needs peace and quiet and five minutes alone to think.

 

“Are you okay?” A voice asks when her bedroom door opens and it’s not the voice Alex expects to hear.

 

Alex flips herself over so she’s lying on her back as she glances forward at Christen who is stood by her door, her hand on the door handle. Alex opens her mouth to say she is but she’s already spilling out everything that’s on her mind before she can stop herself.

 

“No, I’m so fucking sick of everybody rushing me, trying to tell me what I deserve or thinking they know better than me. I’m _sorry_ I’m not rushing into a decision over what to do about this but if it was them in this position then I’m pretty fucking sure they wouldn’t want to be rushed either, I’m just – I can barely even think clearly and I feel like everybody’s mad at me for keeping Kelley in the dark and keeping her feeling really upset because I don’t want her to feel like that, I’m not a complete monster! It just feels like they’re treating me like I’m the bad gay.”

 

“Did you just say bad gay?” Christen asks, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

 

Alex blushes when she realizes she’d mixed up gay with guy. “What? No, of course not.” She denies as she drops her head.

 

Christen enters the room, closing the door over but staying standing by the door. “She’s okay, Al.”

 

Alex sits up, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

 

“She’s upset, of course she is but so are you but she’s not incapable of getting through the day and I know maybe Ash or Syd have been exaggerating how she’s doing and I told them not to because that was the last thing you needed. KO knows you need time and she’s dealing with that, she’s finding stuff to keep herself busy and she’s willing to give you all the time you need, you need to know that. She doesn’t want you to rush it and nobody else does either.” Christen explains, letting the words sink in to Alex.

 

“I want to see her.” Alex speaks up in response, tugging at a loose thread of her comforter. “I just _want_ to be with her but I’m worried it’s going to cloud my judgment. I want to see her outside of soccer but away from everybody.”

 

“She’s at the field now.” Christen smiles. “She said she just needed to get out of the apartment and that’s code for ‘I’m going down to the field, don’t tell anybody.’ Go and see her, what harm could it _actually_ do?”

 

That’s exactly what Alex does; she ignores the niggling voice in the back of her head telling her this is just going to fuck with her emotions and she makes it down to the field, pulling the hood of her hoodie further over her head as she shoves her hands in her pockets after entering the field. It doesn’t take long to find Kelley; she’s over the far side of the field juggling one of the balls. Alex takes her time crossing the field but when she does finally reach Kelley; her initial reaction is to steal possession of the ball from her.

 

“What are you doing here?” Kelley asks, rather surprised by her girlfriend’s presence.

 

“… I came to see you.” Alex murmurs in response, pulling her hood down as she leans back against the fence. “Last time I checked there wasn’t a rule against that.”

 

“There isn’t-” Kelley is quick to shake her head. “- I just didn’t think you’d want to.”

 

“I’ve been doing a pretty good job of that lately, avoiding you?” Alex grimaces as she asks the question. “I just needed time to think about everything.”

 

“And?” Kelley asks, there’s hope in her eyes and Alex feels bad knowing she’s going to crush the hope.

 

“And, I don’t fucking know what to think so if you have any options on how I’m supposed to feel just tell me.” Alex sighs tiredly.

 

The hope in Kelley’s eyes vanishes with every single one of Alex’s words as she drops her gaze to the floor, Kelley laughs nervously. Alex waits for a response that doesn’t come and instead she slides down the fence, sinking down to sit down with her knees pulled up to her chest.

 

“Just – just tell me why you kissed her or she kissed you.” Alex pleads with Kelley, the defender nods, moving to sit down beside the striker, their shoulders touching as they stay silent for a few seconds. “Do you think she’s always going to have this psychological hold over you?” Alex asks nervously, feeling her chest ache at what answer Kelley could possibly give her.

 

“I hope not.” Kelley mutters, scoffing. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I know you are.” Alex sighs, “That’s what’s making it harder. I know how sorry you are”

 

Alex lets her head fall against Kelley’s shoulder, the two of them easily falling back into silence as they think about what either of them could possibly say to make this situation slightly better than it is but nothing is coming to mind; there is only one thing Alex knows for certain from this and it’s the fact she’s going to do anything to not end up breaking up with Kelley because she knows for a fact that would destroy her more than taking time to accept and forgive her for what happened. Is Alex being stupid? Probably, but Alex would take being stupid and _probably_ acting foolishly, she can’t explain it just yet but she knows there’s a reason why she’s so reluctant to just end their relationship and as much as she hates to admit it; everybody’s right.

 

~

 

“How the fuck can we win without you Becky?!” Emily shouts, jumping to her feet when Becky limps into the locker room after practice, holding ice to her ankle as she drops onto the bench.

 

“Thanks Sonny.” Ali and Whitney speak up, looking up from their bags.

 

Emily smiles sheepishly before dropping her head. “You guys know I’m right, Becky’s our best defender.”

 

Meghan holds her hand up to protest but Emily completely ignores her so Meghan just turns to Morgan and mutters something about ‘biggest fan’ before masking it with a cough; Emily _pretends_ not to have heard it.

 

“Chill out Em, you’re starting to sound like Kelley with Alex.” The second Allie says it; she sucks in a sharp breath, immediately regretting it especially when the locker room falls silent, so silent that you could hear a pin drop. “I mean-” Allie is already backtracking when Kelley spies Alex looking at her out of the corner of her eye.

 

“Don’t you mean she’s starting to sound like Alex with me?” Kelley teases,                   

 

“You should be _so_ lucky.” Alex laughs throwing her pair of clean socks at Kelley’s back.

 

Half of the team start to look at each other, shrugging and wondering when Alex and Kelley had returned to some sort of normality but in the end, everybody seems pretty relieved that Alex and Kelley are no longer treading on eggshells around each other which meant the team had to do the same to make sure they didn’t say or do something that would offend or set either teammate off.

 

As the team starts to filter out of the locker room; Kelley stays and looks up when out of the corner she sees Alex standing up and zipping up her bag. She turns around and catches Kelley’s gaze, smiling slightly.

 

“Think that fooled them for a while?” Alex asks, wincing at how strange it sounds.

 

“I think so – Allie did whisper in my ear calling me lucky so I guess.” Kelley shrugs as she zips her own bag up. “You do know I love you, right?”

 

“I know.” Alex nods in response as she places her bag over her shoulder. “I just need a little more time, I promise, just a few days.”

 

“Anything you need,” is Kelley’s response as Alex leaves the locker room.

 

 

“I need your help.” Alex says into the laptop screen when the call finally connects.

 

“You have ignored my texts for the last two weeks and now you want _my_ help, I should say no.” Hope replies, exaggerating her eye roll. “What’s up, Morgan?”

 

“I don’t know what to do about Kelley.” Alex sighs, quickly pulling her hair up into a ponytail.

 

“This is because she kissed her ex, right?” Hope asks, cocking her left eyebrow as Alex’s jaw drops slightly.

 

“How did you-?”

 

“Hannah.” Hope interjects, clenching her jaw at her teammate’s name. “I’m telling you, she knows everything.”

 

“I don’t even want to know who told her but yes, that’s exactly it.” Alex huffs out, rubbing her hands over her face. “I know I want to be with her, and yes I know I’m probably an idiot for not breaking up with her but I’ve been hurt like this once before and I don’t know if I can carry on being with Kelley knowing this feeling won’t go away for a while; what if _never_ goes away? Am I an idiot?”

 

“Yes.” Hope replies without looking up from the textbook in her lap. “Don’t give me that look.” Hope warns looking up from the textbook and to her laptop screen. “You’re thinking too much about it, you gave everything away when you said you know you want to be with her.”

 

“How is that giving everything away, I gave nothing away.” Alex protests crossing her arms over her chest and focusing on Hope trying to stop herself from laughing, this was supposed to be a serious conversation.

 

“Al, did breaking up with Kelley _ever_ cross your mind, even once?” Hope asks, fully interested in the conversation now, becoming the person Alex _needed_ to talk to.

 

“I – not really.” Alex concedes, “I don’t want to lose her, I never did – _oh that’s what you meant_.”

 

“I don’t know much about you two together but I do know you love her – and seriously, stop giving me that look. I’m just saying you love her and you told me she loves you and that’s why you’re trying so hard to fight for this, to work through it, to not end up breaking up with her. It won’t be easy, you’re still going to hurt and it’s going to take a while for Kelley to regain your trust but I don’t think breaking up is an option and you know that better than anybody. Is that what you wanted to hear?” Hope asks at the end of her rambling monologue on love.

 

Alex is speechless, but she’s smiling and she realizes that Hope is right (it wouldn’t be the first time).

 

“You’re the best.” Alex sighs gratefully. “I owe you one, big time.”

 

“I’m holding you to that, I’ll text you later; I have a test tomorrow.” Hope blows a kiss into the camera before disconnecting the call and Alex falls back onto her bed, feeling lighter and like every single weight of the planet has been lifted from her shoulders.

 

 

“You choose to get injured two days before we play Auburn, you suck so much Becky!” Emily calls out to the bench as she jogs onto the field to warm up for their third round match of the NCAA Championship.

 

“Yeah, Becky, great timing.” Kling adds, smirking in their captain’s direction as she jogs to catch up with Tobin, slinging her arm around the midfielder’s shoulder.

 

“I didn’t _choose_ to get injured, dumbasses.” Becky grumbles as she leans back on the bench, crossing her arms and watching the rest of her teammates warming up.

 

“You haven’t taken your eyes off KO since she walked onto the field.” Christen whispers into Alex’s ear, nudging her striker partner’s shoulder. “Are we _finally_ seeing the return of O’Hara-Heart-Eyes?” Christen asks, amused by the lovesick grin on Alex’s face.

 

“Shut it, Press.” Alex mumbles, blushing crimson as Christen laughs.

 

The team continue through their warm-ups before reentering the locker room and Cheney, flanked by Becky (who throws four pairs of dirty socks at Emily and Kling to shut them up) give a rousing team talk as Cheney pulls the captain’s armband up onto her bicep. Paul is going through some last-minute tactics when Kelley sits down beside Alex and nudges Alex’s leg with her right foot before pointing down to the bandage on her ankle. Alex has to twist uncomfortably on the bench to see what Kelley’s written messily on the tape but she smiles when she makes it out. It’s AM followed by a heart and Alex resists the urge to call Kelley out on her cheesiness and instead holds her hand out, palm up as she reveals the writing on the inside of the tape on her wrist.

 

“That says JJ.” Kelley deadpans and Alex starts laughing.

 

“Underneath it.” Alex twists her arm so Kelley can read under where JJ scrawled her name in red pen.

 

KO is written followed by number 19 and Kelley doesn’t even try to hide the joy on her face as she takes hold of Alex’s hand, bringing her hand to her lips and kissing Alex’s knuckles before standing up and sliding back across the locker room, nearly slipping in her socks as she sits on the floor and pulls a different pair of cleats on. Alex feels satisfied as she pulls herself to her feet, smiling across the locker room to Tobin who mouths ‘we got this’ before Paul is clapping his hands and gesturing for his team to leave and line up.

 

Auburn were never going to turn up in California and be pushovers; that much was obvious and it seemed like history was about to repeat itself from last year when Auburn knocked Stanford out in the second round when they take the lead in the fifth minute of the game; Ashlyn kicking out at her goalpost when their striker buries a header into the bottom left corner.

 

“We suck.”

 

“Nice motivation, Sonny.” Sam states with a roll of her eyes as she walks past the center back to regroup for kickoff again.

 

Emily’s observation isn’t far off actually, during the first half; Stanford are completely and utterly outplayed by Auburn, they’re overturning possession easily, they’re not getting forward into Auburn’s penalty area, they’re making half-assed tackles that have Paul tearing his hair out on the sideline. All in all, they look dead and buried and ready to say goodbye to the cup when the halftime whistle blows. Christen and Alex take their time walking off the field; Alex dragging her hand through her hair as she and Christen exchange a nervous look as they walk into the locker room with Paul already yelling at the majority of his backline. Sitting in the corner of the locker room has its advantages; Alex can see every single one of her teammates and everyone looks completely dejected, tired and in no way ready to go out for the second half and fight for a place in the quarterfinal.

 

“It was an easy save!”

 

It’s Emily shouting that drags Alex out of her self-entered trance. Alex looks up, eyes widening when she spies Emily and Ashlyn standing in front of each other, looking ready to fight.

 

“If you’d cleared the cross earlier we wouldn’t be having this conversation!” Ashlyn shouts back, nobody seems fazed by the shouting going on, and so it continues for a few minutes more before both of them are backing down and the team is just filtering out ready for the second half.

 

“It happens, if we’re really stressed we just shout it out and we’re usually good after that.” Kelley explains waiting for Alex when she notices the confusion etched onto the striker’s face. “That’s why nobody was bothered, it doesn’t happen a lot but sometimes there’s just so much built up frustration that it’s easier to just shout it out.”

 

Kelley wraps her arm around Alex’s shoulders as they walk back onto the field reminding Alex that they got this and she’s going to get her girlfriend a goal – Alex doesn’t believe her for a second. The second half kicks off and surprisingly, Kelley’s right. The team start the second half better than the first with two shots on the Auburn goal from Christen and Cheney come within three minutes of the second half starting. Just because the team look better and have regained the ability to cross into the opposition’s half and put attempts on frame – it doesn’t mean any good comes out of it. The clock is ticking into the 75th minute and they’re still 1-0 down to Auburn and for all of their good effort in the second half, the Auburn keeper is having a better game. Substitutions have been made and Alex is partnered by Syd now, after she came on for Christen a few minutes ago. It’s obvious that Auburn are sitting back on their goal lead, playing defensive soccer and thwarting any forward play from Stanford. Tempers are fraying and it’s not helping anybody.

 

Kelley tackles the Auburn winger and takes off running down the left side; Alex, followed by Syd both run into the penalty area awaiting the cross; it’s a low cross along the goal line, it’s missed by every Auburn defender and Alex manages to slide and stick her right foot out, diverting the ball past the helpless Auburn keeper, the ball nestling into the bottom corner. Alex scrambles to her feet, high-fiving Syd as she runs to the sideline and into Kelley’s open arms, wrapping her arms so tightly around her girlfriend; fingers gripping the back of her jersey, fingertips pressed into the number 19, Alex’s face burrowed into Kelley’s shoulder as their teammates flank to them, all engulfing Kelley and Alex in a hug but Alex would be damned if she was to lose her hold on Kelley during the celebration. Their teammates let them go and Kelley releases Alex from the hug, holding her hand up for a high-five and intertwining their fingers as they grin at each other whilst walking back for the restart.

 

78th minute, 1-1.

 

As the time runs into the 87th minute of the game; all the team can hear is Paul’s screaming to get forward on the sideline and the subs on the edge of the sideline, screams of encouragement as they hold onto each other watching as the game filters to the end of regulation time. Cheney tackles the Auburn midfielder before sending the ball forward to Morgan, she spins past another Auburn midfielder before sending a through ball to Syd, she takes the ball and skips past a half-assed tackle from the Auburn defender before the second defender in the penalty area grabs the back of her jersey, hauling her to the floor as the crowd, team and players in Cardinal red on the field scream for a penalty kick.

 

It’s given.

 

Stanford has the chance to win the game in the dying moments and book their place in the quarterfinal.

 

Syd picks up the ball once she’s back on her feet and throws the ball to Cheney who catches it as she walks into the penalty area and sets the ball down on the spot. With a quick glance over to the bench, the rest of the team is standing there, holding their breath as Cheney backs up from the ball and waits for the referee’s whistle. Alex and Syd stand on the edge of the penalty area together, watching closely as the referee blows the whistle and Cheney takes the PK, slipping and hitting it against the inside of the right upright before it hits the back of the net. Cheney is tackled to the ground by the team; all relieved that when the PK hit the post it didn’t just bounce out back into play, it was a heart-in-mouth moment for sure.

 

Auburn look completely dejected when the game restarts with Stanford leading 2-1 and Stanford are running the clock down until the referee blows the whistle, game over, Stanford are in the quarterfinals for the first time in three years. Alex shakes the hands of the opposition, hugging and high-fiving her teammates as she walks across the field; she jumps on Ashlyn’s back as the keeper parades her around the field before they head down to the locker room, where the celebrations are still ongoing.

 

“THREE WINS FROM BEING CHAMPIONS, BABY!” Kling and Emily yell above the noise in the locker room.

 

~

 

Alex is looking around Allie’s house for Kelley, she’s checked every room in the house but she can’t find her until Ali takes her arm and out to the backyard pointing up to the roof.

 

“Go into Allie’s bedroom, don’t worry, it’s empty and climb out of her window; that’s where some of us go when we need to think because apparently we live for the possibility of falling off the roof and breaking bones.” Ali laughs as she takes a sip of her drink.

 

Alex thanks her before walking back through the house and ascending the stairs, walking through the hallway until she gets to Allie’s room; she pushes the door open and walks into the bedroom noticing that Allie’s bedroom window is in fact open. Alex looks out of the window and notices a figure sitting on the roof with their knees pulled to their chest.

 

“You know, I’m pretty sure there are safer places to think.” Alex comments as she climbs out of the window, shaking as she places her feet flat on the roof. “Why are you out here anyway, I thought you’d be hamming it up with everyone?” Alex asks as she sits down beside Kelley, their shoulders touching as Kelley wordlessly takes hold of Alex’s hand.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Alex looks to Kelley, raising her eyebrows as she waits for an elaboration on the apology that doesn’t come.

 

“Why?” Alex asks unsure if she wants to know what Kelley’s done now.

 

“The wedding, the kiss, telling you I regretted telling you I love you because I don’t, I do love you, Al and I was stupid to even say that even if I was mad. I’m just – you deserve someone who won’t screw things up as much and I want to be that person but-” Kelley comes to an abrupt stop, and Alex wonders if this is the moment Kelley’s going to spill the truth to her, except it isn’t. “I’m not going to stop until I make it up to you, you know that right?”

 

“I know.” Alex smiles at her girlfriend, squeezing her hand reassuringly. “You know it’s not going to be easy for me to completely forget what happened and the hurt of it all isn’t going to fade straight away so I need you to be patient with me, okay Kell?”

 

“I promise.” Kelley whispers turning her head to face Alex. “Thanks.”

 

“For what?” Alex asks twisting around to rest her head against Kelley’s shoulder.

 

“You _know_ what.” Kelley replies and she’s right, Alex knows exactly what.

 

“You guys know there’s a party going on?!” A voice shouts from the window causing Alex and Kelley to jump, Alex’s footing slipping slightly as Kelley reacts faster to wrap her arms around her girlfriend’s shoulders. “Come on, Ash and Tobin have made another dumb bet.” Emily gestures for the pair to follow her.

 

Alex and Kelley walk across the roof, crawling back through the window and landing in Allie’s bedroom, hearing the shouts and the hollering from downstairs.

 

“I’m so going to crush you, Ash!”

 

Kelley and Alex turn to each other, wearing similar grins. “Here we go again.” They chuckle in unison.


	22. At Least You're Not Dressed Like Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really fucking sorry... so sorry... don't hate me... kellex is still endgame... bye...

_Teamsgiving or who can create the best Thanksgiving themed drinking game._

 

It wasn’t an exaggeration. Alex had heard rumors of what Teamsgiving was going to be like and after hearing it from at least five of her teammates; Alex had come to the conclusion that Teamsgiving (aside from the food) consisted of one thing and one thing only – Ashlyn’s basement full of alcohol and Thanksgiving themed drinking games. Teamsgiving was created by the seniors of three or four years ago that had been passed down through the team and aside from the day of drinking; it was just a day when the entire team did nothing but team based activities including a 5AM game that Tobin, Amy and Lauren planned just to see how annoyed the rest of their teammates would be by them rudely interrupting their sleep and hauling their tired asses out of bed and down to Maloney Field at an ungodly time of the morning.

 

“I skip a day of classes for you to drag me out of bed in the middle of the night; you’re treading a thin line Cheney.” Syd grumbles rubbing the sleep out of eyes as she nearly trips over her untied shoes. “My mom bought me these pajamas, if you get them dirty you have Sandi to deal with.”

 

“Finally!” Allie exclaims from behind the striker. “That’s the uncool-est thing you have ever said, Syd.”

 

“Said Syd.” Emily laughs loudly, the delusion from being waken up four hours before she usually would taking its toll on Emily who is in the process of finding almost everything ten times funnier than it is.

 

The sun hadn’t even risen which left Tobin and Alyssa wandering through and up to the control room to try and turn the floodlights on; Kling was lying face down on the field, fast asleep with her hand clutching her left cleat as the rain soaked pitch soaked through the short defender’s pajamas. Becky, Lauren and Amy were sitting on the bench taking absolutely no notice of their teammates; having gone through so many of these early morning games, waking up this early didn’t seem to faze them anymore and they just rolled with it. Most of the team were still in bed which left Ali and Christen to go and round them up, not as cruelly yanking their blankets off them and instead being softer in their approach to wake up the stragglers. Ashlyn and Kelley were goofing off, engaging in something that only the pair of them understood as Whitney trailed after the pair of them to make sure they didn’t injure themselves doing something obscenely stupid. The floodlights turn on for approximately two and a half seconds before shutting off whilst a bang is heard and a long string of curse words seconds later.

 

“I think we broke the floodlights!” Tobin screeches, “How did we break them?! What did you do, Lyss?!”

 

“You sat on the button, Tobin!”

 

“We _really_ need to stop sending them two up there. Every. Single. Year.” Lauren grumbles adding in an eye roll for extra effect.

 

Tobin and Alyssa leave the control room and start making their way down to the field again, still engaged in an argument over who broke the floodlights and playing best of three; rock, paper, scissors to see who has to tell coach that the floodlights are broken three days before their quarterfinal game. By the time Tobin and Alyssa have reached the field and Tobin’s been left with the short straw of having to be the one to come clean about breaking the floodlights; Christen and Ali are dragging Morgan, Sam and Julie towards the rest of their teammates. Morgan and Sam yawning and weakly protesting.

 

“You broke the floodlights, _again_?” Christen asks Tobin when she reaches the midfielder and let’s go of Sam’s pajama sleeve causing the midfielder to stumble slightly before waking up fully and making a b-line for Emily.

 

Ali drops the large duffle bag she’s got over her shoulder onto the bench earning raised eyebrows from Alex. Ali catches Alex’s expression and smirks before holding her hand up. “I call being captain!”

 

“Me too!” Kelley screeches ducking Ashlyn’s flailing arm as she runs to the center circle to stand opposite Ali. Both Ali and Kelley choose their teams before Christen walks to meet them and takes a quarter out of her pocket as the team gather around. “Heads.” Ali calls out narrowing her eyes at Kelley who responds by swaying side to side and grinning like a fool at the other defender.

 

It’s heads.

 

Kelley’s smile drops. “Every fucking year.” She grumbles, 

 

“You know the drill, KO.” Ali smirks pointing to the duffle bag; Kelley grumbles as she storms over to the sideline to retrieve the duffle bag, groaning when she lifts it up because of the weight of it.

 

Alex doesn’t know whether to be intrigued or scared by the contents of the duffle bag but her (worst) fears are confirmed when the first thing Kelley pulls out of the back is a turkey costume. After that, pilgrim costumes are pulled out and lastly a pumpkin pie costume. All of Kelley’s team audibly groan at the costumes before Ashlyn grabs the pumpkin pie slice costume and Kelley grabs the turkey costume and they start putting it on. The rest of the team grab at the pilgrim costumes and start clumsily pulling them on, all complaining throughout about how stupid they look and how this isn’t fair.

 

_Allie definitely doesn’t take pictures of them to use as blackmail._

 

“At least I can cross playing soccer dressed like a pilgrim off my bucket list…” Alex trails off forcing a smile onto her face as she breaks into a jog onto the field, nearly tripping over the dress that is three sizes too big for her.

 

“At least you’re not dressed like dinner!” Amy shouts across field as she points to Kelley who was struggling herself, wriggling around and trying keep her balance as she nearly trips over the costume.

 

Christen and Amy (slowly, really slowly) trudge over to the center circle; Christen squealing when Tobin tosses her one of the soccer balls, batting it away instead of catching it. Christen glares in Tobin’s direction as she scoops the ball up before placing it down on the center circle. Tobin yells go, Christen not hearing her and instantly losing the ball to Amy.

 

“I know I say this every year-” Becky starts, pushing Emily off her shoulder where the younger defender is struggling to keep her eyes open. “- But we really should just play this game after the sun has risen.”

 

The game isn’t as lively as they usually are, there are barely any attempts at showing off to each other and there is absolutely no chance that anybody breaks out into more of a slow jog to even get an attempt on goal and from an outsider’s view the group of teammates look like zombies, ambling across the field chasing the ball which is rolling at a snail’s pace along the wet turf.

 

“This was a terrible idea.” Allie yawns as she passes the ball into Moe’s feet. “I should be in bed.”

 

Moe’s not fully awake and her coordination is extremely off when she swipes the ball with the inside of her right foot and sends the ball spiraling across the field to the sideline where Kling is still sitting, struggling to tie the laces to her cleats in her still-sleepy state so the defender definitely doesn’t notice the ball heading in her direction until Tobin yells at her name at the top of her voice causing Kling to finally (slowly) lift her head just as the ball makes clean contact with her face, and boy, does she make a huge deal out of her busted nose.

 

“Oh shit.”

 

“What the – oh my god – there’s blood!” Kling screams out when she places her hand against her nose. “What the fuck, Moe?!”

 

“It was Allie’s stupid ass pass!” Moe exclaims ducking out of view of her friend, not wanting Kling to come after her, even if it was her pass that caused this.

 

“I don’t know what I did but I didn’t do it!” Allie suddenly exclaims in reply, realizing Moe’s comment was aimed at her in the first place.

 

Allie and Moe start arguing whilst Lauren and Ali try and help Kling, including Tobin who waltzes over, the ball tucked under her arm and pushes against Kling’s nose to test if it’s broken – that doesn’t go down well.

 

“Comfy.” Kelley mumbles wrapping her arms around Alex’s waist from behind as the defender rests her head against Alex’s back. “You’re comfy.”

 

“For the record – not your worst compliment.” Alex replies, resting her own arms over Kelley’s as she tries to stay upright the more Kelley leans into her body. “Are you actually asleep?” Alex asks and she waits for a response that doesn’t come. “You’re _really_ asleep.” Alex mumbles, laughing slightly at her girlfriend’s expense. Alex crosses her ankles to try and keep her balance because Kelley when she’s sleeping becomes a dead weight and Alex’s back is paying the price.

 

“Jeez Kling, how much blood can one human being produce?” Moe asks, turning her nose up at Ali helping to try and stop the nosebleed. “That’s so gross.”

 

“Wait-” Tobin holds her hand up “- nobody actually stopped the game, right?” She asks and everyone looks between each other, shrugging. “Game on!” Tobin throws the ball back onto the field as Alex jabs Kelley in the ribs to wake her up.

 

“Oh that’s fine.” Kling grumbles. “I’ll just sit here and bleed out whilst you guys play a game of soccer, no, seriously it’s fine.”

 

The game continues four players down; Allie and Moe too engrossed in their argument continued from before; Ali and Kling the other two not involved. Alex chases after Tobin trying to steal the ball from the midfielder, they’re both laughing and everything just feels like it’s on the up, if only just for now at least.

 

Nobody wins the game and it ends after around an hour and a half of watching Tobin, Emily, Kelley and Allie try to outdo each other with tricks. Alex is sitting down in the stands, legs dangling over the row in front as she pulls her hoodie further around her to try and keep herself warm. Kelley finally gives up on trying to win the battle of who can be the biggest showoff and jogs over to the stands and walks up the stairs until she’s at the row Alex is sitting on; she walks through and sits down in Alex’s lap, Alex’s arms immediately wrapping around her girlfriend.

 

“You’re really comfy, you know that?” Kelley muses burrowing her face in Alex’s shoulder. “I have an idea; let’s sneak off and go and take a nap.”

 

“Sounds – actually it sounds perfect.” Alex pushes Kelley off her and stands up as the pair sneak off down the other side of the stand to avoid being seen. “We’re all going to Ali and Ash’s later right?”

 

“Yeah, everybody usually gets there about eleven? We’ll just sleep for a few hours.” Kelley shrugs holding out her hand for Alex to take.

 

Kelley and Alex are walking through the campus; the sun just starting to rise and it casts a beautiful light over the campus and Alex has never been awake enough to appreciate just how pretty the campus looks in the morning because she’s either barely awake or she’s rushing through campus to try and make it to class on time. It’s Kelley’s phone ringing that snaps Alex out of her daze; Kelley stopping as she pulls her phone out of her pocket, her face dropping before she answers it, holding a finger up to Alex as she takes the call, walking away and off to the side. Alex shoves her hands into her hoodie pocket as she watches Kelley, or she watches Kelley’s facial expressions and judging by how unhappy she looks, it’s not going to take a genius to work out she’s probably talking to her parents.

 

The thought of Kelley talking to her parents causes a ball of anger to settle in the pit of Alex’s stomach. Alex doesn’t have a clue what went on between Kelley and her parents but she knows it’s bad; most of the team know it’s bad and anybody who can make someone feel as awful as Kelley feels is bad, but when it’s her own parents who have done something to make her feel like this – that by itself just doesn’t sit well with Alex and she’s dying to know what happened if not just so that she can give Kelley’s parents a piece of her mind. Kelley sighs before she ends the call and pockets her phone again, walking across to rejoin Alex and hold her hand; wordlessly starting to walk again and head towards her apartment. Alex wants to ask what that was all about but she also knows she should let Kelley tell her in her own time.

 

“… My parents are coming for Thanksgiving.” Kelley laughs bitterly, using her free hand to pull her hair out of its ponytail. “Of course they’re coming for Thanksgiving.” She scoffs as they reach the building.

 

“You’re going to see them, aren’t you?” Alex asks warily. “Maybe things have changed?” Alex suggests despite the fact she’s blatantly ignoring how she truly feels about Kelley’s parents.

 

“I doubt it.” Kelley chuckles dryly as she opens the door and walks into the apartment. “They’ll probably come down, lecture me and make me feel like a horrible daughter, stay for the game and leave again.”

 

Alex doesn’t reply, she doesn’t know how she’s supposed to reply because just because she’s dating Kelley it doesn’t mean she’s entitled to give her honest opinion on Kelley’s family life, it’s not her place but luckily for her; Kelley seems to change the subject swiftly when they reach her bedroom, falling flat on her bed, sighing and holding her arms out for Alex to join her. Alex kicks her shoes off as Kelley does the same before climbing into bed and collapsing into the defender’s arms.

 

“What happened?” Alex has asked the question before she can stop herself leading Kelley to just sigh.

 

“Let’s just say-” Kelley stares up at the ceiling, scowling. “They weren’t there for me when I _really_ needed them and we haven’t recovered.”

 

Alex wants to groan about how that doesn’t help but she also needs to calm down and remember that she can’t exactly force Kelley to tell her about what happened in the summer if she isn’t ready, she already knows it’s bad and she doesn’t want to jeopardize their relationship again by trying to force Kelley into spilling everything about the summer and what happened with her ex – although Alex would be grateful if she never had to hear anything about Ann ever again. Alex (reluctantly) lets the subject drop completely after that; she’s already feeling sleep come over her as she snuggles further into Kelley’s side, eyes closing almost immediately.

 

 

“Al, Al, Al, come on, we need to get up now.” Kelley whispers in Alex’s ear, expertly ducking when the forward lifts her hand to try and slap Kelley away from within her slumber. “That’s mean, come on love.” Kelley leans down and kisses Alex’s jaw which gets a small response but it doesn’t wake her up. “Are you always this hard to wake up?” Kelley asks brushing a few strands of Alex’s hair behind her ear.

 

“When Tobin fucking Heath wakes me up at 5AM you bet I am.” Alex grumbles pulling at Kelley’s t-shirt and trying to pull her girlfriend back down so that she can sleep. “Let me sleep you demon.” Alex huffs flipping onto her right side and burrowing her face in the pillow trying to block out Kelley’s attempts to wake her up.

 

Kelley sits back, pursing her lips wondering how she’s going to wake Alex up, when she spies the answer. Kelley leans over to her bedside table and grabs the water bottle, she sits back and opens it before squirting it in Alex’s direction; stifling her laughter as she continues to do it, the water going everywhere as Alex squirms, dragging her sleeve across her face.

 

“I know what you’re doing and you better knock it off before I kick your ass.” Alex mutters covering her face with her arms as she desperately tries to fall back asleep, resentful and annoyed that Kelley has woke her up now giving her no choice but to try and pretend she’s asleep to avoid getting up.

 

“Alex…” Kelley draws out, leaning over and trying to pry her girlfriend’s arms away from her face. “Come on – we need to get up.” Kelley laughs struggling when Alex flips onto her back, frowning as she breathes out.

 

“I’m awake.”

 

“I can see that.” Kelley laughs leaning down and pressing her lips against Alex’s quickly before deepening the kiss slowly.

 

That’s when it happens.

 

It all comes flooding back in an instant; the wedding, seeing Kelley kiss her ex, the way Alex felt her chest ache and how choked up she felt, feeling that horrible feeling of not being able to breath and Alex can’t handle the way her stomach drops so she pushes Kelley away, sitting up and swinging her legs over the bed to stand up when Kelley’s hand around her wrist stops her. Alex doesn’t dare look back, she’s frozen but Kelley’s grip on her wrist doesn’t loosen.

 

“Al, what’s up?” Kelley asks and Alex has to fight back the urge to scoff at how she possibly couldn’t have a clue. “Hey…”

 

Alex shakes her head and stands up, her wrist falling from Kelley’s hand as she turns around to face her girlfriend, smiling at her. “Nothing, you’re right, we should get ready to go to Ali and Ash’s.” Alex says to her, pushing down the hurt to the pit of her stomach to try and hide her true feelings. “I’ll meet you there.”

 

Alex _cannot_ leave Kelley’s room quick enough; running a hand through her hair as she walks through the apartment, sighing deeply as she tries to get rid of the damned image that’s seemingly instilled in her mind forever. She’s so deep in her thoughts she doesn’t realize she’s walked into Tobin until Tobin grabs her arm and spins her around.

 

“Dude – you don’t look good.” Tobin frowns when she notices just how deep in thought the forward is. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing.” Alex lies, glancing down to the floor. “I was just leaving to go home and get ready to go to Ali and Ash’s – that’s all.”

 

Tobin is about to try and drag the real reason from Alex when she spies Kelley out of the corner of her eye and even though Tobin isn’t a genius; she can put two and two together and let’s go of Alex’s arm letting Alex walk out of the apartment without a look back. Alex’s head is spinning as she leaves the building to walk across the street to her own; on one hand she feels stupid, she’s the one who was insistent that they could work through this and so Alex should have seen this coming and on the other hand she still feels stupid, she just feels like an idiot for thinking the effects of the events at the wedding wouldn’t still leave her reeling. Alex is so deep in her thoughts that she doesn’t even register she crossed the street and made it to her building, she was so out of it she probably wouldn’t have noticed if there was a car coming unless one knocked her down.

 

“Why am I so pathetic?” Alex groans as she walks into her room; heading straight for her bed so she can fall and burrow her face in the pillow, which she nearly does until another voice speaks up.

 

“What happened?” Syd asks, looking up from where she was lying on Julie’s bed; a bag of chips beside her as she glances up from her phone.

 

Alex furrows her eyebrows. “Why are you in here?”

 

“Chilling – now what’s up?” Syd asks sitting up, dropping her phone to the bed and dusting down her shirt. “Come on – you did not just call yourself pathetic for a reason; come to your favorite roommate and tell me all about it.” Syd holds her arms out, raising her eyebrows when Alex doesn’t immediately move. “I’m waiting.”

 

Alex moves this time; walking across the room and sitting on the bed beside Syd as Syd wraps her arm around Alex’s shoulders.

 

“Alex, babe, I love you but I’m not a mind reader so you’re going to have to tell me what the problem is.” Syd lets her head rest against Alex’s shoulder and glances upwards at her strike partner.

 

“I thought I could handle this; take it one day at a time but I can’t and I was stupid for ever thinking I could.”

 

“What happened?” Syd asks, a softer tone to her voice this time as she pulls Alex closer to her so she can give her an-almost side hug.

 

“She kissed me – I ran away. I couldn’t even look at her, Syd. I couldn’t get the image out of my head.” Alex sighs and Syd frowns. “I screwed up when I thought I could handle this.”

 

“First of all – you didn’t screw up so shut the fuck up before I slap you.” Syd threats and the threat is so empty that it brings a small smile to Alex’s lips. “Second – just because you’re hurt it doesn’t make you pathetic or a screw up. It makes you human.”

 

“You didn’t see her face, Syd. I’m pretty sure I just crushed her.” Alex sighs, leaning forward and running her hands through her hair. “I’m also certain that Tobin knows what’s up which I’m not sure if it’s comforting or not.”

 

“Kelley is tough, trust me, we’ve seen Kelley at her _ultimate_ worst so you haven’t crushed her completely. Second, Tobin knowing could be a good thing because she’ll be on both your sides and she can help, she’s pretty good with advice but I know you know that.” Syd leans forward, so her shoulder bumps against Alex’s. “I also know that even though it feels shit now and you don’t think you can ever stop feeling like this – don’t look at me like that – I’m telling you, it’s going to get better.”

 

“I wish she’d tell me.” Alex grumbles, dropping her head and turning to look at Syd. “What happened – she’s so reluctant and I just feel it’d go a long way to explaining a lot of things.”

 

“She will tell you. I don’t know when she’ll tell you because she’s tried so hard to close off that chapter of her life completely and I know it’s going to break her all over again when she does explain so that’s a heads up to expect tears and to be really careful – she _will_ tell you though.”

 

“I hope so.” Alex mutters.

 

~

 

Alex and Syd go to Ash and Ali’s together because Alex honestly can’t face being around anybody else and the thought of having to come up with a bullshit reason why she ran out on Kelley when Kelley asks her is making her sick because she knows for a fact that Kelley is going to see straight through whatever lie she comes up with but she also knows she’s going to upset Kelley if she tells her the truth – basically, Alex can’t win whatever option she decides to go with but when Syd thrusts a bottle of beer into her hands, she tries to push the impending situation to the back of her mind; it doesn’t work but it was worth a shot.

 

Kelley trails into the house behind Tobin and Christen, hands stuffed into her pockets and her head down. She knows she’s done something, that much is obvious as far as she’s concerned but for the life of her she can’t remember what she did to upset Alex, it’s not like she’s desperate to walk down that path again, she’s hurt Alex once and as far as she’s concerned, that’s the only time she’s going to hurt her if she can help it.

 

“Lighten up and go and talk to her.” Christen urges, already having spotted Alex as she pushes Kelley, not hearing Tobin’s sharp intake of breath as she does.

 

“I – fine.” Kelley concedes easily as she slowly drags her feet across the floor as she makes her way into the living room, she sits down on the couch beside Alex, putting her feet on the couch as she brings her knees to her chest, instantly closing herself off and ignoring Ali telling her to at least take her shoes off by arguing back that Ash does it. “What did I do?” Kelley asks and she hates how small her voice is, how scared she sounds.

 

Alex copies Kelley and pulls her own knees up to her chest. “Nothing.” She answers and it’s not exactly a lie, Kelley _didn’t_ actually do anything this time. “I didn’t – I shouldn’t –” Alex stops, closing and opening her mouth as she turns her head to face Kelley who hasn’t taken her eyes off her girlfriend since she sat down. “You didn’t do anything; this ones on me.”

 

“What is?” Kelley asks and Alex sighs, already glancing up towards the ceiling of the living room. “Tell me, please.”

 

“I panicked. I couldn’t get the image out of my head.” Alex knows it’s a vague response, she’s barely explained anything but she knows she’s going to break down if she goes into further detail, not that she needs to; Kelley immediately catches on and she’s shuffling backwards, putting more space between the pair.

 

“If you’re going to break up with me; can you just do it?”

 

“Do you always think of the worst possible scenario?” Alex asks and she’s deadly serious, gripping the blanket that’s been thrown over the back of the sofa with incredible strength.

 

“Tell me that doesn’t sound like the start of a breakup.” Kelley shoots back and she’s struggling to keep her emotions in check at this point.

 

“I – I don’t want to break up with you.” Alex replies, leaning back and closing her eyes just wishing there was a way to skip to the part where everything was normal again and they weren’t having conversations about breaking up.

 

“But you’re going to?” Kelley interjects and she doesn’t sound surprised, she doesn’t sound shocked, her voice is so eerily calm that Alex wishes she would just start crying or something to make it seem like she actually gives a damn.

 

The first time that Alex and Kelley met; Alex was enchanted by Kelley’s freckles and her over-confident attitude towards her despite having never properly met before; Alex was a fumbling mess and couldn’t come up with a witty remark to one of Kelley’s comments even if she had all night. Over just a matter of months, Alex knows Kelley somehow weaved her way into her heart, so much so that Alex can’t believe she’s actually doing this, all along she’s known it was the right decision but she couldn’t bring herself to do it – she doesn’t actually think this situation is real because Alex is sitting here, breaking up with Kelley because she’s doing what she thinks is right and Kelley isn’t even fighting for them.

 

“Why aren’t you fighting for us?” Alex asks and there’s anger in her voice as she turns to stare at Kelley with teary eyes.

 

“Trust me, I want to fight but I can’t, if I change your mind and we stay together then I know you’re going to end up resenting me and that would hurt more than this ever will.” Kelley explains it as though it’s the most obvious explanation in the world, not showing a single sign of emotion, she’s not on the verge of tears like Alex is, she’s just staring at the forward and shrugging, smiling ever so slightly. “I love you.” Kelley whispers and her voice wavers slightly as she leans forward and kisses Alex’s cheek, the simple gesture being all it takes for Alex to start crying.

 

Just like that, Kelley’s left her side and Syd’s placing her drink on the counter, crossing the room and throwing her arms around Alex in an instant.

 

“Why did I just do that?” Alex asks, her voice shaky as she grips Syd’s shirt tighter in her hands.

 

“You know it was the right thing to do, Al.” Syd soothes knowing it’s not much help to Alex now because there is absolutely no way that Alex is about to believe that’s just done the right thing when she’s heartbroken. “Come on; there is only one thing to do right now and that’s to get really drunk and spend time with her friends before everybody catches on to what’s happened.”

 

Alex doesn’t even argue when Syd stands up and drags her into the kitchen, starting to make her a drink that burns Alex’s throat when she drinks it.

 

~

 

Syd tells Julie and the blonde throws her arms around Alex from behind, mumbling in her ear, rambling and trying to avoid saying ‘I told you so’ because now just isn’t the time. Alex tells Morgan but Morgan’s beyond tipsy so Alex doesn’t think she even registers the news but that’s all Alex tells; she can at least tell her roommates because she’s absolutely certain that Kelley will tell Christen at least and she’s not entirely sure if that’s going to end badly for her or not.

 

Alex doesn’t tell Ali or Tobin but they both pick up on what’s happened when Alex and Kelley spend the next couple of hours in different rooms or as far away from each other as possible, really, it wouldn’t be that hard to figure out if you took a moment to just look at both Kelley and Alex.

 

“She hasn’t told Press.” Tobin murmurs, sliding up beside Alex. “She cares about you; you know that; don’t you?”

 

“I know.” Alex whispers, scratching her thumb against the marble countertop in the kitchen. “It’s not like I wanted to do it…” Alex trails off.

 

“I know you didn’t but it’s what you two need right now and who says you won’t be back together in a few weeks anyway.” Tobin shrugs, nudging Alex’s shoulder which brings a faint but noticeable smile to Alex’s face. “Don’t think of it as a breakup; think of it as ‘ _this is what needs to happen now._ ’”

 

“You’re rooting for us, aren’t you?” Alex asks when she starts to realize just what Tobin’s hinting at.

 

“You make KO happy; anyone who makes her happy is good for her. So yes, I’m rooting for you two.”

 

“I wish it was that easy.” Alex sighs

 

“Nobody said it can’t be.” Tobin says with a grin before she nods in response to whatever Emily asked her across the room. “Think about it, that’s all.”

 

Think about what?

 

Alex didn’t understand where Tobin was going with that and before she even had a chance to ask, Tobin had left her side and was jogging up behind Emily and slinging her arm around the blonde’s shoulder.

 

“Can you help me with dinner? Ash is – somewhere.” Ali waves her hands around as she scans the surrounding area for her girlfriend once more. “Lauren and Amy will be back in a minute – but yeah – Ash is avoiding helping.” Ali doesn’t notice that Alex barely moves and takes the subtle nod of her head as Alex agreeing to help.

 

Alex starts setting out plates, carefully and slowly laying them out across the counter as Ali finishes up cooking whilst they wait for Lauren and Amy.

 

“You’re quiet.” Ali acknowledges, and her voice is soft and gentle as she turns her head to face Alex. “Are you okay?” Ali asks and the question has Alex immediately shaking her head before she stops and starts nodding her head, confusing Ali in the process as the defender turns Alex around so that they’re facing each other.

 

“Why does doing the right thing hurt like a bitch?” Alex asks and how angry she feels surprises her.

 

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Ali asks warily, twisting and glancing over her shoulder to the living room where Kelley is lying across the couch, her legs in Christen’s lap as she listens to whatever Christen is saying to her.

 

“Yes.” Alex mumbles, dropping her head again when she hears Ali coo ‘ _oh sweetie_ ’ before Ali is at her side, wrapping her arm around Alex’s shoulders and trying to soothe the forward when she notices Alex’s bottom lip start to quiver again. “You know what the worst part is?” Alex scoffs, bringing her hand up to her cheek. “She wasn’t immature; she didn’t make a big deal and it makes it hurt even more. I hate that she chooses now to be mature.”

 

“A year ago and you would have gotten a big deal.” Ali muses “- she knew it was coming, I’m surprised you two managed to get this far before breaking up – I don’t mean it in a bad way, sweetie – but you know deep down that this was always going to happen, don’t you?”

 

“I – yes.” Alex concedes.

 

“I know it hurts, sweetie.” Ali sympathizes “but I also know that not many people would be able to do the mature thing and break up and even if it isn’t forever, you need this space more than you could ever realize. Okay, so now, you’re not going to cry about it for the rest of the day and we’re going to keep your mind off it and try to stop Ash falling off the roof because she thinks she can fly after a few more drinks, yes?”

 

Alex nods, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she looks at Ali. “You’re – thank you Ali.”

 

“I’ve got you, always, okay?” Ali reminds her, pressing a kiss to the side of Alex’s head as Lauren and Amy finally return to the kitchen from downstairs and the four help to set up the living room for dinner, Amy swiping the bottle of vodka from Emily’s hands despite the defender’s protests.

 

Alex sits beside Syd, who makes a slightly bigger deal than needed about sitting as far away from Kelley, Christen and Tobin as possible; ignoring the rest of their teammate’s wandering eyes and quizzical expressions that Syd shoots down with a hard glare. Alex tries to focus on her food, on anything, on the conversations around her but her stomach hurts and she desperately tries to avoid finding Kelley’s eyes because Kelley always comforts her, whether it’s just a glance, Alex knows a simple look from Kelley can be enough to relax her but she also knows she runs the risk of Christen blowing up on her, especially if Kelley’s told her; she couldn’t imagine how much Christen is probably going to hate her for hurting her; she knows how overprotective Christen can get of Kelley and though she mightn’t mean to upset Alex if she did, Alex would understand because it’s the exact same way that Hope used to protect her at Berkeley.

 

“Hey-” Julie smiles softly as she moves to sit beside Alex, leaning back against the wall “- are you okay?”

 

“Do you want me to lie?” Alex asks, her eyes glazing over as she shuffles around to rest her head against the blonde’s shoulder.

 

“I know it hurts.” Julie sighs. “You’re not alone, that’s one thing I’m sure of, so just wake me up tonight, if you need me.”

 

“What would I do without you?” Alex asks and there’s sincerity to her voice that she hasn’t used all day.

 

“You’re going to be okay.” Julie promises and for a split second, Alex finds herself believing her.

 

 

“Come on-” Christen whines “- you expect me to believe there isn’t something up? Kell, you and Alex are usually joined at the hip and today apart from for about ten minutes a few hours ago, you two haven’t even looked at each other.”

 

Kelley breathes out slowly, trying to calm herself and keep herself from getting angry at Christen’s constant pestering.

 

“Kelley…” Christen trails off

 

“Shut up!” Kelley exclaims, spinning around, her face inches from Christen’s. “Just – stop.” Kelley chokes out, tears filling the corners of her eyes as she stares at Christen; the realization that something has actually happened dawning on Christen’s face. “- Just let it go” Kelley cries.

 

Christen has seen Kelley in this kind of pain before; she was the one who was there holding her as she cried for hours; Christen saw the sunrise that morning, having not slept as Kelley lay across her lap having cried herself to sleep after nearly four hours of constant sobbing and broken pieces of information that Christen had to piece together herself. Kelley was a shadow of her best friend, she was destroyed by a girl and her own parents and Christen swore that night in the summer that she wouldn’t let Kelley get hurt like this again, she swore she would do anything she could to avoid Kelley getting her heart broken to the point where she considered going off the rails again.

 

“Chris?”

 

“Yeah, Kell?” Christen sighs sadly, focusing on the defender again.

 

“This sucks.” Kelley chuckles sadly and Christen hates how broken she sounds. “I knew it was going to happen and she did the right thing but this fucking sucks. I don’t even blame her, you know? I love her so much, Christen.”

 

Pulling her best friend into her arms; Christen kisses the top of Kelley’s head as Kelley takes multiple shaky breaths to try and resist the urge to start crying in front of everyone.

 

 

Alex isn’t drunk, but she sure as hell isn’t tipsy as she walks through the apartment, it’s a little after 1AM and Alex has class in less than eight hours but she’s already pretty sure she won’t be going to, she’s stumbling as she uses the wall to steady herself. Morgan grimaces as she watches Alex from the doorway, Syd and Julie still walking up the stairs. Julie makes it to the apartment first, eyes widening as Alex continues to stumble her way through the apartment as she tries to make her way to their room.

 

“She’s really – huh-” Morgan laughs warily

 

“She’s going to be okay.” Julie murmurs, if not to convince Morgan then to convince herself as she quickly follows after Alex, walking into their room and finding Alex sitting on the edge of her bed, leaning forward with her head in her hands.

 

“This is why you really shouldn’t agree to a bet with Ash that’s going to end in tequila shots.” Julie laughs.

 

When she doesn’t get a response, the smile drops from her face.

 

“Hey Alex?” Julie calls out when she hears Alex choke on a sob. “Oh sweetie.” Julie murmurs as she crosses the room to sit on the bed beside Alex.

 

Julie pulls Alex closer to her despite Alex’s initial reluctance; the striker falls into the blonde’s arms as Julie rubs her back to try and soothe Alex’s sobs but they show no sign of stopping. It hurts Julie to see Alex so broken and there are so many things she wants to say but they’re not going to be helpful in the slightest.

 

“It feels like my heart is – being – violently ripped out of my chest.” Alex huffs out.

 

“Thanks for that mental image, Al.” Julie tries to joke and it almost works when a hint of a smile ghosts over Alex’s lips. “I know it hurts; I’ve never been through this but I can only imagine how hard it is but you know that this is for the best, right?”

 

“I do.” Alex sniffles. “But I just want to run across the street and take back everything.”

 

“It wasn’t your fault to begin with.” Julie tells her.

 

That.

 

Alex really wishes she could stop feeling guilty over Kelley kissing someone else but having to see her girlfriend who loves her, or supposedly loves her go and kiss her ex-girlfriend – that’s something Alex can’t comprehend fully and she’s spent days and nights, mostly nights wondering just why she wasn’t good enough, wondering if it was her fault that Kelley kissed Ann.

 

“I can _see_ the cranks turning in your head – spill it.” Julie urges, nudging at Alex’s shoulder as Alex turns to face her roommate.

 

“I thought I had done something wrong… you know, because she kissed her. I thought she did it because I didn’t say that I loved her back.” Alex explains, gesturing as she tries to explain her thoughts, sobering up slightly as she thinks about it. “I thought she was trying to get back at me and it sounded stupid at first but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense? I didn’t think Kelley would be the one to get back at me in a cruel way and I still don’t think she is but it felt like that at first.” Alex stops, furrowing her eyebrows as she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth.

 

There’s a silence in the room as Julie mulls over what Alex has said and just when Alex tries to backtrack, thinking she’s said too much; Julie speaks up.

 

“I want to convince you and tell you that’s not the reason why but would you believe me?” Julie asks Alex and Alex responds by shaking her head.

 

“I don’t believe it so much anymore.” Alex shrugs, “it’s just – I believed it so hard at first and I couldn’t shake it off. I wanted to ask Kelley if that’s why she did it but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings and make her think that I always think the worst about her because I don’t, you know?” Alex pulls at a loose thread at the bottom of her sweater. “She told me the reason she didn’t fight for us is because she didn’t want us to stay together and for me to end resenting her – like fuck JJ – she chooses now to be fucking mature about things? I wanted nothing more than her to beg me not to do it and I know that’s stupid and Kelley did the right thing but – I –”

 

Alex stops, just stops, falls quiet.

 

“I love her.”

 

To say Julie’s not surprised by the confession is an understatement.

 

“I wish I could hate her.” Alex grumbles before reaching under her pillow and pulling out a clothing item, she holds the Stanford sweatshirt in her hands. “Stupid sweatshirt.” Alex mutters. “Stupid, me, stupid, Kelley, love, I hate this.” Alex know she’s missing seven verbs and an explanation but Julie’s happy to just continue to let her carry on; after all, at least her tears have subsided. “I think I pushed her into Ann’s arms.”

 

“How?” Julie asks, having moved back to sit with her back pressed against the wall.

 

“ _How do you think it’s fair for you to constantly say to me – oh if you loved me you would?_ Kelley said to me the night we had the fight about her kissing Ann, she said I kept saying that to her to twist her arm to do stuff for me, she said saying she loved me was a big mistake. I pushed her into her arms didn’t I?”

 

“That’s not true.” Julie instantly shuts her down.

 

“Give me one good reason how they aren’t connected?” Alex poses the question and the question effectively shuts Julie up for a good thirty seconds. “See?” Alex sighs. “I knew I loved her in Georgia and I should have told her then but I couldn’t. I loved Hannah and she screwed me over after knowing I loved her and I guess – I was scared to tell Kelley I loved her because I thought she would screw me over as well.” Alex frowns as she speaks. “I can’t deal with this, not right now.”

 

Alex moves to sit down on her bed again, leaning into Julie’s side, fidgeting with the hem of her sweater as she stares at the wall straight ahead.

 

“What if I’ve ruined the team dynamic? I am not about to force them to pick sides.” Alex mumbles out feebly, feeling Julie shake her head from where she’s resting her own head on the blonde’s shoulder.

 

“It won’t come to that, also, what they don’t all know won’t hurt them.” Julie reassures her.


	23. lack-of-teamwork makes the dream not work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to Kim because without her this chapter would not exist at all. she's been the best at collaborating on this story with me and I'm so grateful for her.

Alex didn’t ask them but during the following evening’s training session; Syd and Julie essentially become her bodyguards, keeping within a reasonably close distance to Alex, asking if she’s okay every five minutes and glaring at any of their teammates who look in Alex’s direction too long, it’s a ridiculous thing but Alex loves her friends for it.

 

In two days they play Penn State in the quarterfinals which can only mean one thing when Paul walks down towards the field; a notebook in his hands and a stern expression on his face – his team are about to be put through their paces a lot more than usual. Alex tries to erase the heavy feeling in her chest at Kelley not being at practice, trying to force herself to believe that she’s overslept or something else as innocent but when she notices that Christen isn’t there either; she feels like she can’t breathe and when Christen storms onto the field, throwing her bag to the sidelines without a care for anybody it might hit; Alex panics.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK, ALEX?!” Christen screams at her as she continues to stride towards the brunette, bypassing Tobin who couldn’t stop her girlfriend if she tried. “How the fuck did you think you could get away with telling KO that everything was fine when you were just planning to break up with her the entire time?!” Christen shouts at her, standing less than a foot in front of her.

 

So much for the team not finding out before the quarterfinal,

 

As if right on cue; Syd and Julie are at Alex’s side immediately; Syd with her arms crossed over her chest as she glares at Christen.

 

“I’m waiting.” Christen scowls “- that was your plan all along, right? To fuck with Kelley, do you even know what you’ve done?” Christen asks, spitting out her words.

 

The entire team fell silent at the sight of Christen, there’s an eerie and awkward silence budding around the field; Paul stands on the sidelines as if he’s torn between cutting up what could become a fight or just letting it continue knowing he’s at least there if it did turn violent. Julie has her hand on Alex’s arm and Syd’s standing just in front of the brunette. Tobin is standing near Christen but to be quite honest, she looks scared, everyone looks at least worried; nobody has ever seen Christen this angry before, half of the team didn’t actually know that Christen could become this angry.

 

Most of the team are looking in every direction but at Christen and Alex; the only people focusing on the scene on the field are; Christen, Alex, Tobin, Julie and Syd and Syd looks ready to slap Christen if she says another word.

 

“Kell is so fucking broken, you know that? She’s destroyed because of all this fucking false hope you gave her that you two could work through things?” Christen laughs bitterly. “You’re no fucking better – you are literally doing what Hannah did to you!” Christen screams at Alex.

 

Christen’s face softens the second after she says it, Alex’s eyes burn with the tears threatening to spill out and Syd’s had enough.

 

“How fucking dare you?!” Syd screams at Christen.

 

“Chris – stop.” A hoarse voice cuts off Syd before she blows up again. “Don’t yell at her, she’s done nothing wrong.” Kelley crosses her arms over her chest as she stares at Christen until Christen relaxes and backs away from Alex. Kelley glances over to Alex and smiles slightly before walking across to Christen and saying something to her that has Christen looking like she’s apologizing.

 

“Well. Fuck.” Kling breaks the silence. “I thought the fireworks were going to come after we beat Penn State.”

 

“Really, Kling?” Becky and Morgan huff as they turn to the short defender.

 

“We were all thinking it.” Meghan responds; holding her hands up in surrender. “I just had the balls to say what you’re all too scared of.”

 

“Shut up Kling.” Morgan mutters as she tosses the soccer ball in her hand in the direction of the defender’s head, smirking slightly when it hits her just above the ear.

 

“Al, hey Al, Alex.” Syd shakes Alex until she refocuses and turns her head to focus on the other striker’s face. “Are you okay?”

 

_No, Alex was nowhere near okay; she was running on less than two hours sleep, struggling to cope with assignments, essays and impending finals, her nerves were running out of control for the quarterfinal and oh – she’s still in the process of trying to deal with how much her heart aches._

 

“I’m fine.” Alex shrugs in response; pressing her lips into a thin line. “I knew it was coming, I just didn’t think it would be in front of everyone, you know?” Alex fakes the smile on her face, brushing off the wave of concern flashing across Syd’s face as the team gathers around Paul.

 

If awards were going to be given out for world’s most awkward training session; today’s session would have won without the slightest shadow of a doubt. Alex thinks Paul was close to tearing his hair out at the miscommunication, the strained relationship between Christen and Alex; Kelley being unable to put a tackle in or head a ball clear, and the underlying nerves throughout the team towards the upcoming game – it was awful, and that’s being kind.

 

“Dude-” Kling nudges Emily as they take a break. “- We are so fucking screwed for Penn State.”

 

“Lack-of-teamwork makes the dream not work.” Emily chuckles, finding her own joke a lot funnier than she really should because it was pretty bad. “I should go – I need to talk to KO.”

 

 

Alex doesn’t leave her room for most of the night; it’s the night before Thanksgiving and that’s one of her ultimate favorite holidays, she looks forward to Thanksgiving every year but she just knows that her mom is going to ask about Kelley and Alex isn’t sure she can keep her emotions in check but she also doesn’t want to tell the truth because she doesn’t want to have to start associating one of her favorite holidays with a bad memory, but in the process of constantly feeling like her heart is breaking; she finds herself studying and actually concentrating as she searches up lecture notes and concentrates on writing down all the stuff she’s missed during the past few weeks because she was skipping class just to nap with Kelley or go for drives with Kelley, or just do anything with Kelley.

 

“I thought you might need this.” Syd’s voice breaks Alex’s concentration as she enters the room and hands over the steaming cup of coffee to Alex who takes it, gratefully. “How’s studying?” Syd asks as she sits down on Alex’s bed, her own cup of coffee in her hand.

 

“It’s fine.” Alex croaks, not realizing just how bad her throat feels after the late evening crying session she had in-between studying. Alex takes a sip of coffee before pushing her notebook away from her. “I know I probably deserved Christen yelling at me today but when she compared me to Hannah – I – I promised myself I’d never treat someone like she treated me.”

 

“Christen was pissed and she was out of line, man.” Syd interjects. “You broke up with KO because it was the right thing to do; Hannah was just fucked up.”

 

Alex bites back the urge to defend Hannah, remembering just how screwed up her ex-girlfriend was (and probably still is).

 

“She’s okay, you know?” Syd breaks the silence again.”I talked to KO after you and JJ left and she’s doing _okay_. She asked how you were doing so I said you were okay.”

 

“I’m sensing a theme.” Alex jokes but the smile that graces her lips is gone in a second as though it was never there. “Do you know how many times I’ve wished I could go back to Georgia and just not leave Kelley’s side, make her feel like I loved her?” Alex licks her lips as she fumbles over her next words. “I think about it pretty much every single day. You didn’t see the hurt and anger in her eyes, Syd when she said telling me she loved me was a mistake. It was the same broken look that Christen and Tobin always described when they talked about Ann. _I did that to her_.”

 

“She doesn’t blame you.” Syd murmurs with a shake of her head. “I’m pretty sure she loves you more because of this, you’re doing what’s right for you right now and she’s okay to deal with that.”

 

“It doesn’t feel right.” Alex grumbles

 

“It is though, okay babe? Love you.” Syd leans forward and kisses the side of Alex’s head. “I’m pretty sure I can hear Moe in my room, I’ll be back.”

 

Syd doesn’t come back and Alex is pretty sure she’s fallen asleep so she returns to her studying, focusing on her laptop screen as hard as she can when her phone ringing from beside her causes her to jump. Glancing down, Alex feels a little happier when she notices it’s her mom calling her; she reaches for her phone before answering.

 

“He – Hey mom.” Alex coughs trying to erase the hoarseness from her voice. “What’s up?”

 

“Can’t a mom call her daughter to talk?”

 

A smile tugs at the corners of Alex’s lips. “Sure they can, but not when it’s nearly eleven at night and they’re going to see me tomorrow anyway – oh wait-” Alex starts to flip through her notebook “- Did I forget dad’s birthday?”

 

“Honey, your dad was born in June.” Pam laughs which causes Alex to stop in her tracks, her brain finally catching up. “I just want to make sure you’re okay, I know how stressed you can get this time of year.”

 

Alex resists the urge to reply back with ‘ _you have no idea_.’ Instead she asks something that she’s pretty sure she already knows the answer to but she just wants the confirmation, for what reason? She doesn’t know the reason, she’s just sure hearing her mom say it will make her feel a little better than she does.

 

“Mom, you _do_ like Kelley, don’t you?” Alex asks before she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth, waiting out her mom’s response.

 

“I like Kelley.” Pam responds. “Why do you ask, sweetheart?”

 

“Just making sure.” Alex chokes out, before masking how much her voice is wavering with a cough. “Thanks, mom. I can’t wait to see you and dad tomorrow.”

 

“Will Kelley be there?”

 

“I don’t know, we might see her but she’s going to be with her own parents for most of the day, I think.” Alex shrugs; that actually wasn’t a lie considering Kelley’s parents were going to be around tomorrow. “I’ll see if I can steal her away for five minutes to say hi. Tell dad I said goodnight, I love you two.”

 

“We’ll be there around eleven, I think, if I can get your dad out of the door before the football starts.” Pam laughs which causes Alex to laugh slightly. “Alex, remember, college and finals won’t define your life.”

 

Alex knows that’s the reason that her mom actually called, to remind her to not stress so much about finals but if she blanks out the word ‘finals’ hearing ‘college won’t define your life’ hits Alex straight in the chest and she feels as if she doesn’t end the call this second she’s going to just start crying and she’s done enough crying in the past couple of days.

 

“I love you, mom.” Alex sighs, not even smiling when her mom says it back; she just ends the call and drops her phone onto the bed.

 

“Don’t get me wrong-” Julie starts as she walks into the room, a glass of water in her hand “- and if I am wrong, tell me but if your plan is to ask Kelley to see you tomorrow and pretend as though you’re still dating in front of your parents when you’re really not then it’s dumb.”

 

“How long _were_ you eavesdropping?” Alex asks before throwing herself back, letting her head sink into the pillow.

 

“I wasn’t eavesdropping, I was just – you know, eavesdropping.” Julie replies with a small smirk. “I love you, Al but I seriously, _seriously_ don’t think it’s a good idea to do it but if you’re so sure that you want to do it, Kelley won’t say no.”

 

“I never – I – you know I haven’t actually told you what I was planning on doing.” Alex grumbles, sitting back up and closing her laptop before pushing it to the end of her bed.

 

“Okay, so, tell me that wasn’t one of the ideas?” Julie pushes, staring at Alex until Alex scowls.

 

“I don’t have the heart to tell my parents we broke up, I want them to still like her.” Alex admits, and really she admitted that a lot quicker than she would have liked.

 

Julie stays quiet for a second, thinking, furrowing her eyebrows before she meets Alex’s eyes again.

 

“If you broke up with Kelley, which you did, you would tell people you broke up with them but are you trying to tell me you’re going to get back together with her before your parents find out you two actually broke up?” Julie speaks slowly, as though she’s trying to process her own thoughts. “The next time you see your parents will either be the college cup or at Christmas, right?”

 

“Probably.” Alex replies, avoiding Julie’s eyes as she lies down again. “I don’t know, okay, I just said it because I don’t want to tell them the truth, I know it was stupid.”

 

“It’s not stupid.” Julie reassures her as the blonde walks over to her bed, placing her glass of water down on the table before climbing into bed, turning onto her side and glancing over to the brunette. “I think it’s maybe a bad idea but that’s just me – just don’t-” Julie frowns as she speaks. “- Never mind, goodnight.” Julie murmurs, flipping onto her other side and bringing her hair around to let it fall over her shoulders.

 

~

 

Alex knows she has no reason to be nervous; Kelley already agreed to keep up their relationship for the sake of her parents, in fact, Kelley didn’t even seem to question Alex when she asked her, just shrugging and telling her she’d meet her later before she left – on the other hand, Alex is a _terrible_ liar, there’s no doubt about it, she can’t lie to anybody and she’s scared that’s about to show, either that or she’ll become too nervous and crumble; spilling out the truth before she can stop herself. Her dad’s car is the thing to drag Alex out of her thoughts, smiling and waving as she stands on the sidewalk as her dad pulls up; not even having a chance to put the car in park before her mom is out of the car and walking around to bring Alex into a hug.

 

Alex relaxes a little as she wraps her arms around her mom, sighing into her shoulder but smiling nonetheless; she has missed them after all. She hugs her dad once he leaves the car, he presses a kiss to the top of Alex’s head.

 

“I missed you guys.” Alex mumbles leaning into her mom’s side. “How are Jeri and Jen?” Alex asks and she knows she’s trying to keep the topic of conversation on anything but her.

 

“They’re good; Jen recently got her promotion so she’s really excited about that, she moves just after Christmas and Jeri’s nearly finished all her preparation for Madrid in January.”

 

“Oh yeah-” Alex smiles slightly “- I forgot about that.”

 

“Now, where’s this girlfriend of yours?” Pam asks looking around for Kelley.

 

_So much for keeping the conversation off of herself_. Alex pulls her phone out of her pocket and holds a finger up to her parents as she texts Kelley asking her to meet her.

 

Alex lets her parents talk; only really interjecting into the conversation when she’s asked a question or it’s weird if she doesn’t have anything to say, especially when the topic of conversation turns to soccer and Alex starts to wish that Kelley would hurry the fuck up so that her parents can turn their attention to her instead.

 

When Kelley finally does turn up, Alex is verging on becoming annoyed but she refuses to let it show, maintaining her stoic expression as Kelley joins at her side, their shoulders brushing as she greets Alex’s parents; Alex dropping her head and looking down at her phone, only zoning in and out of the conversation.

 

“Sweetie, it’s Pam and Mike.” Pam smiles at Kelley, reaching forward to bring the defender into a hug as Alex glances down at the text from Syd.

 

_Do you feel as awkward as you look? – Syd_

 

Alex tilts her head back until she can just about make out her apartment, rolling her eyes when she sees Syd, Morgan and Julie with their heads out of the window looking down at her.

 

An elbow to the ribs is what brings Alex out of her thoughts and she scowls slightly when she realizes it was Kelley who hit her, when she tilts her head forward; her parents are looking at her in anticipation.

 

“What?” Alex asks, smiling sheepishly at the fact she was completely zoned out for around a minute.

 

“ _We’re going to breakfast with your parents._ ” Kelley replies, her voice so sickly sweet that Alex thinks she’ll end up with a headache if she has to spend the morning listening to Kelley talking like that.

 

Pam and Mike head back towards the car whilst Alex grabs Kelley’s arm, pulling her back towards her apartment whilst shouting that she needs to go back upstairs and talk to Julie; her parents buy it but Alex can’t see how. Alex stands just inside the door of the building, Kelley in front of her.

 

“Why did you agree to that?” Alex asks her, crossing her arms over her chest.

 

Kelley holds her hands up in surrender. “You’re the one who wanted to pretend we were still together.” The sweetness has all but evaporated from Kelley’s voice and in fact, unless Alex is hearing things; Kelley sounds cocky.

 

“Don’t you have your own parents to see?” Alex asks “- oh – that’s why you agreed.”

 

“No, I agreed because you’re the genius who came up with this idea and I’m just making it seem realistic.” Kelley shoots back, frowning which causes Alex to scowl again. “Come on, we can’t keep them waiting.” Kelley takes Alex’s hand and pulls her out of the building, despite Alex’s complaints.

 

Alex sighs as Kelley drags her out to the car. Julie was right, this _is_ a bad idea.

 

 

They drive to a small restaurant near the campus; Kelley and Alex making sure that the topic of conversation stays firmly on soccer because that’s the one thing that the both of them can talk about without accidentally slipping up on what’s going on between them; they talk about Penn State and who out of the remaining teams they would prefer to play in the final and for a split second; Alex closes her eyes and everything feels normal and that leaning across and taking hold of Kelley’s hand wouldn’t be weird – except it’s nowhere near normal and Alex hates herself, she hates how she’s blatantly lying to her parents because she doesn’t want to see their sympathetic looks when she tells them that she broke up with Kelley, she _doesn’t_ need to hear her mom sigh and reach for her.

 

Alex cried for what felt like hours when she finally spilt everything to her parents, told her that she had broken up with Hannah and told her every little detail and Alex swears she saw her mom crying despite her mom’s protests. Alex doesn’t think she can go through that again, and she definitely doesn’t want her parents’ opinions of Kelley scarred even though it might be stupid. Alex can feel Kelley’s eyes on her which is the reason that Alex keeps her line of sight trained straight ahead until her dad pulls up in the parking lot, turning the engine off. The four of them exit the vehicle; Kelley rounding the other side of the car and slipping her hand into Alex’s without warning her which causes Alex to flinch and nearly yank her hand out of Kelley’s until she remembers. The pair walk behind Alex’s parents; Alex glancing across to Kelley.

 

“Thank you.” Alex mumbles; her voice quiet but Kelley catches the words and nods, squeezing Alex’s hand in response as they follow her parents into the restaurant and to a booth towards the back.

 

For the most part; Alex and Kelley are able to keep up with the charade and after a while; everything starts to feel normal again, after pretending for nearly an hour, it starts to feel as though they’re not pretending anymore. Alex has her hand loosely intertwined with Kelley’s on top of the table, they’re laughing with her parents; talking about soccer and their plans after college; Kelley starts hamming it up with Mike when the topic of conversation turns to football and more specifically the game this afternoon but all in all, Alex’s smile as genuine as it feels; it doesn’t reach her eyes and her mom instantly notices.

 

Pam ducks out of her husband’s ongoing conversation about the NFL with Kelley and nudges Alex’s shoulder.

 

“Is everything okay, sweetheart?” Pam asks and there’s softness to her voice that instantly causes Alex to feel guilty for even thinking she could keep up with this lie for even just a few hours. “- You don’t look good. Are you sick?” Pam reaches for Alex’s forehead but Alex ducks, smiling at her mom.

 

“I’m fine, just stressed about things; you know me.” Alex tries to keep her voice as cheery as she can but she can already feel the tears burning the corners of her eyes. “I – I’ll be back.” Alex pulls her hand out of Kelley’s with slightly too much force that it causes Kelley to stop talking, turn around and look at Alex as she climbs out of the booth and heads towards the bathroom.

 

“I should go and see if she’s okay.” Kelley smiles at Pam and Mike before following Alex to the bathroom.

 

Alex is leaning against the counter, her hands gripping the off-purple colored countertop as she stares at her reflection in the mirror, laughing at how much of an idiot she looks; the tears burning the corners of her eyes are threatening to fall and Alex doesn’t have the strength to stop them. The door opens and Alex is already reaching up to dry her eyes when she notices it’s Kelley and not her mom who followed her.

 

“Are you okay?” Kelley asks, a sheepish expression on her face as she waits by the door.

 

“I’m fine.” Alex answers back, blinking rapidly to try and get rid of the tears still in her eyes.

 

“You’re a really bad liar.” Kelley chuckles as she enters the bathroom, letting the door shut behind her. “Seriously, what’s wrong?” Kelley asks Alex, forcing Alex to look at her.

 

“I – this was a stupid idea.” Alex admits, dropping her gaze to the floor. “I’m pretty sure my mom can see right through us or at least me. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this – I’m sorry, I just don’t have the heart to tell them, you know? They really like you and I don’t want that to change; my parents can hold a grudge…” Alex trails off, pressing the palms of her hands into her jeans. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Stop apologizing.” Kelley gently demands, moving to stand in front of Alex. “I agreed to this, okay? I like your parents and I’m not going to be a jerk of an ex, okay?”

 

“Okay.” Alex mumbles feebly, lifting her head, meeting Kelley’s eyes, and the next few seconds were a blur.

 

Kelley’s hand is on the back of Alex’s neck, pulling her in close, their foreheads touching before Alex is mumbling ‘kiss me’ against Kelley’s lips, so Kelley does. Alex’s hands are immediately at the base of Kelley’s ponytail, fingers wrapping around the loose hairs. The kiss lasts seconds before Alex is leaning back, eyes wide and lips parted as she keeps her gaze fixed on Kelley, the defender’s hands slowly retracting until they’re back at her sides.

 

“We – should-” Alex fumbles for the words.

 

“Yeah.” Kelley breathes out. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Kelley asks once more, biting down on her bottom lip so hard that Alex was convinced that she saw blood.

 

“I’m fine; I’ve got you, right?” Alex flashes Kelley a (slightly) fake smile as Kelley nods, furrowing her eyebrows and nodding.

 

“Yeah, always.” Kelley replies; scrunching her nose up in the way that Alex adores.

 

Alex pushes herself off the counter and heads towards the door but stops when she doesn’t hear Kelley’s footsteps following, she turns around, her hand on the door.

 

“Thanks.” Alex says to her, coughing before smiling slightly as Kelley approaches her, Kelley wraps her hand around Alex’s wrist before leaning forward and kissing Alex’s forehead before the pair leave the bathroom and walk back through the restaurant to the table.

 

Alex slides back into the chair easily, with Kelley at her side, Kelley’s hand subconsciously and automatically moving to rest against Alex’s thigh which has Alex immediately relaxing as her parents jump into talking about Jeri heading off to Madrid and using this to tell Alex she needs more culture in her life that isn’t Netflix documentaries to which Alex wishes she had a witty response but she doesn’t because Netflix have some really good documentaries. As breakfast progresses, Alex’s initial nervousness fades again, her mom doesn’t seem to have caught onto there being anything different between the pair of them.

 

 

“It was so good to see you, Kelley.” Pam sighs as she brings Kelley into a hug. “Say hi to your parents for us.”

 

“I will.” Kelley replies a little too enthusiastically, sliding up behind Alex and hooking her chin on the forward’s shoulder. “I should go, my parents are waiting for me. I’ll see you later, love.” Kelley murmurs, kissing Alex’s cheek before letting her go and heading back across the street to her own apartment building after saying goodbye.

 

Alex watches her go, a small smiling tugging at the corners of her lips before she turns back to her parents, her mom wrapping Alex in her arms. “I like Kelley.” Pam hums as Alex nods.

 

“I know.”

 

~

 

Alex doesn’t know whether her parents want her to marry Kelley or they want to adopt Kelley because the way they continue to talk about her as her dad drives to the nearest beach is seemingly never ending.

 

“I think she’s really good for you, you two are always smiling around each other and she brings out a side to you that Hannah never did, with _that_ girl it was just problem after problem and she betrayed your trust-” Pam continues on,

 

Alex swallows thickly, settling back into the car seat and digging her fingers into the hem of her sweater, biting her lip to not spill that Hannah isn’t the only girlfriend that’s betrayed her, she hates lying to her parents, she has never been one to keep secrets from them because she knows her parents are always there and willing to listen to whatever is on her mind but she _hates_ herself for keeping this from them, for pretending everything is fine when it’s not, for doing this because she wants to continue to hear her mom talk about how much she likes Kelley, for her dad to continue to talk football with Kelley.

 

Kelley’s completely different to Hannah, for one, her parents have taken to Kelley the same way that she did back in August; immediately falling for Kelley’s charm and it was never going to be that hard, if Alex can fall for Kelley as fast as she did, it was never going to be difficult for her parents to follow her. Alex couldn’t doubt that Kelley loved her, which was the one thing that Alex was completely sure of. Alex threw her head back, breathing out shakily as she closes her eyes, the memories of the night of the wedding before everything went wrong stick out, the way Kelley led them as they danced despite Kelley’s initial insistence that she doesn’t dance; Alex remembers the way Kelley spun her, intertwined their fingers and pressed her fingers into Alex’s hip, she wishes that she could go back and relive that moment; a beautiful night in Atlanta, when Alex imagined it was just the two of them, feeling her heart swell at how fucking good of a dancer Kelley is.

 

Alex doesn’t register the car coming to a stop but when she does; her parents get out of the car but Alex doesn’t make any initial effort to move, instead she just opens her car door and stops her dad.

 

“I need to call Kelley; I’ll be down in a minute.”

 

Her dad just tosses her the car keys. “Don’t forget to lock it.” He smiles before following Pam down towards the beach.

 

Alex puts the keys in her lap and sits in the car, the door open as she lets her legs swing whilst she calls Kelley, putting the phone to her ear; she looks down towards the beach, her eyes instantly finding two dogs chasing two purple tennis balls. It takes three rings for Kelley to answer with a soft ‘hey, what’s up?’

 

“I think my parents want to adopt you.” Alex rushes out before starting to laugh. “They have _not_ stopped talking about you since we left.”

 

“What can I say? I’m just really likable.” Kelley shoots back and Alex can practically hear the smirk in Kelley’s voice. “Are you okay?” Kelley asks her and Alex finds herself nodding along to question.

 

“I’m good, we just got to the beach and we’re going to spend the rest of the morning here before we go and get lunch, probably.” Alex explains, digging her nails into her jeans. “Have you seen your p-” Alex is cut off when she hears a door open and Christen’s voice.

 

“Hey, you ready to go? My parents just got here and they’re excited to see you.”

 

Alex freezes, her phone still pressed against her ear as Kelley answers before there’s shuffling on her end of the line. Alex pulls her phone away from her ear and laughs quietly, bitterly before she hangs up, letting her phone drop into her lap. Alex feels a pang of hurt hit her chest; Kelley lied to her, _again_ , how is she supposed to recover from this? Alex knows that Kelley and her parents don’t see eye to eye and she’s willing to back Kelley up but Kelley told her she was going to see them, Alex knew she wasn’t happy about seeing them but she told her that she _was_ going to see them and now this, now she’s going to spend the rest of the day with Christen and her parents – Alex doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the fact she didn’t see straight through Kelley’s lie.

 

Alex just gets out of the car, leaving her phone in the car as she locks it before skipping down towards the beach to go and meet up with her parents.

 

 

Kelley nods to Christen’s question, already reaching down to grab her shoes. “Hey Al, I got to – wait?” Kelley pulls her phone away from her ear and notices the call has already ended, the realization taking a few seconds to dawn on Kelley just why Alex had hung up.

 

“Everything okay?” Christen asks, looking up from where she’s standing at her bedroom door. “Kelley, you look like you just saw a ghost.”

 

“I’m – not – fuck, I screwed up again.” Kelley mumbles out, staring down at her phone as she holds it between her thumb and forefinger. “Alex is going to kill me.”

 

 

It’s a little after 1PM when Alex and her parents sit down for lunch; Alex is quiet, she has been quiet ever since the phone call with Kelley and Pam is not completely clueless to the shift in her daughter’s mood. She nudges Alex’s shoulder which causes Alex to look up from where she’s been playing with her salad for the last few minutes.

 

“Are you okay, honey?” Pam asks placing a gentle hand on Alex’s forearm. “You’re really quiet, what’s up?”

 

“It’s nothing.” Alex lies, ducking her head to avoid her mom’s stare.

 

Alex knows she’s close to cracking, she doesn’t entirely know how she’s managed to keep it from her parents this entire time because her parents have always been the first person she goes to when something goes wrong, she usually craves her mom’s sympathy and always wants a hug or she wants to go out with her dad on a drive and just tell him what’s going on but she also knows the second she tells them the truth about her and Kelley – her parents are going to immediately change their opinion of her and that’s the last thing she wants, she wants her parents to love her but she also knows the longer she keeps it from them the more it’s going to eat away at her.

 

“It’s just – something happened in Georgia – we’re in a bad place – then something happened before – it’s nothing though.” Alex talks in pieces, gesturing with her hands as she tries to keep herself from spilling everything.

 

Pam and Mike share a concerned glance at the way Alex keeps knitting together her eyebrows, and at the way her voice shakes as she speaks. They both know that there’s something more going on than what she’s telling them.

 

“She hurt me – a lot – it’s what Hannah nearly did to me.” Alex stops talking after that, excusing herself from the table and walking outside, needing to be alone as she gathers her thoughts and tries to calm herself down.

 

Pam and Mike only have to look at each other to know what the other is thinking, Alex didn’t give it away but it is never going to be that hard for them to figure out what she was talking about, especially when she mentioned Hannah again. Alex doesn’t know how she’s supposed to get past this, with Hannah it was hard enough but Kelley’s a different kind of hurt, a completely different kind of hurt and Alex knows the reason why it hurts so much but she can’t find a way to get past this; she doesn’t know how she’s supposed to be able to trust again, it seems as though it can’t be repaired, the trust between them has essentially broke and shattered into tiny little pieces.

 

“People make mistakes.”

 

Alex jumps at the voice, turning her head slightly to the left as her dad approaches her, letting the restaurant door shut behind him.

 

“It was worse than last time, dad.” Alex sighs, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “This time it hurts so fucking much, I’m trying but it’s so fucking difficult to think clearly.” Alex explodes, she’s been dying to rant about it for most of dinner and normally Mike would scold Alex for using the language she’s using but he lets it slide, he knows just how much this is eating at her. “I just want to know why or how she thinks we can come back from this because we can’t – there’s no fucking way, but I want there to be a way.”

 

“Alex.” Mike coughs which stops Alex talking.

 

“Can we just forget about her today? I want to have fun with you and mom.” Alex pleads, blinking quickly. “Please.”

 

“Anything you want, kiddo.” Mike smiles already walking back to open the restaurant door, Alex trailing behind him.

 

 

That’s exactly what Alex does for the rest of the afternoon, she pushes everything clouding around Kelley to the back of her mind and focuses on a free, fun day with her parents to try and keep herself relaxed before the quarterfinal tomorrow. Kelley on the other hand, worries her way through dinner with Christen and her parents, barely registering Stacy’s questions which leads Christen to have to continuously jab Kelley in the ribs to bring her out of her own thoughts.

 

“Sorry?” Kelley apologizes for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes. “I’m sorry. I was just – thinking.” Kelley sighs, fully aware of Christen’s eyes on her.

 

“Is everything okay, sweetheart?” Stacy asks, concern filling her eyes as she lets her gaze falls on Kelley.

 

“I’m fine.” Kelley lies, glancing to the side to find Christen staring at her with raised eyebrows. “I’m just anxious about the quarterfinal tomorrow.” She lies effortlessly, Stacy and Cody believing her instantly.

 

“ _Oh sure_.” Christen mutters under her breath but loud enough for Kelley to hear, so the defender responds the only way she knows how; she kicks out at Christen’s shin. “Sorry.” Christen coughs. “We’re both pretty anxious about the game; it’s our last chance after all.”

 

 

“What was that about?!” Kelley asks, her voice rising the second that Christen’s parents drive off back to their hotel for the night. “ _Oh sure,_ seriously what the fuck?” Kelley continues to ask, jogging to catch up with Christen.

 

“Kell.” Christen sighs, no sense of anger in her voice. “I love you but I know you were on the phone to Alex when I came into your room and I don’t know what you did but it was eating at you for three fucking hours and I just need you to sort it out because I like Alex and I hate being mad at her.” Christen explains, slowly and as calmly as she can.

 

“No one asked you to hate Alex.” Kelley shoots back causing Christen to roll her eyes. “I know I screwed up!” Kelley shouts, getting frustrated with herself.

 

“Do you?” Christen asks,

 

Two words, but they cause Kelley to fall silent completely.

 

“Thought so.” Christen adds before she turns around and heads back to the apartment building without another word.

 

~

 

Alex gets back to the apartment, she’s standing on the sidewalk with her parents.

 

“I really have missed you guys.” Alex tells them, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m happy you’re going to be at the game tomorrow, I just hope we don’t lose.” Alex laughs but it’s empty, her chest still hurts from Kelley lying to her.

 

Kelley spies Alex and leaves her own building, she knows she has to do this and she’s across the street and approaching Alex before she can coherently comprehend the plan it took two minutes to come up with. Kelley stops when she sees Alex standing with her parents, digging her hands in her jacket pockets as she bounces her weight from foot to foot; Alex notices her mom not looking at her but looking past her so she turns around and catches sight of Kelley. Alex just rolls her eyes and turns away, scowling slightly, she doesn’t need another excuse; she doesn’t know if she can keep accepting Kelley’s excuses.

 

“Talk to her.” Pam says to Alex.

 

“I’m not interested.” Alex shoots back. “I’m done hearing her out, there’s a line and she crossed it weeks ago.”

 

“Alex.” Mike sighs.

 

“Honey,” Pam walks up to Alex and lets her hands fall onto her daughter’s shoulders. “I know how you feel about her, I’ve never seen you love someone the way you love her and I think you should give her a chance to explain; there must have been a reason she did what she did.”

 

Alex shakes her head. “I’ve given her more chances than I probably should have.”

 

“Then what’s one more?” Pam suggests and Alex sighs when she realizes her mom’s right; she’s already given Kelley countless chances so another one won’t change things so dramatically, she’s sure of that.

 

“Okay.” Alex concedes already walking towards Kelley and stopping in front of her.

 

“I need to talk to you, I need to explain.” Kelley rushes out.

 

“Explain _what_?” Alex asks, unable to hide the bitterness in her voice as she does. “Today or everything?”

 

“Alex…” Kelley trails off, lifting her hand to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “I was going to see them.”

 

“Why don’t I believe that?” Alex asks, staring at Kelley who is struggling to hold back her emotions.

 

“Just let me explain.” Kelley pleads and Alex can immediately feel her resolve starting to melt at the faint crack in Kelley’s voice. “ _Please_.”

 

Alex looks back over her shoulder, her mom smiling at her and not-so-subtly gesturing for her to follow Kelley, so that’s what Alex does, she follows Kelley across the street and for a second she thinks that she’s heading back to her apartment but she walks straight past the building; staring down at her hands as she puts them in her pockets before pulling them out, she wrings her hands together before she lets her fingers mess with the hem of her sweatshirt. Kelley leads them into the small coffee shop across the street from their apartment buildings – Alex can’t help but wonder if that’s to stop either of them causing a scene.

 

“I was going to see them, I was, I saw them pull up and I was walking across the street to meet them when I just froze, it sounds stupid – yeah it does – but our family is so fucking broken by what happened that no amount of pretending to tolerate each other on Thanksgiving was going to help that.” Kelley jumps into her explanation the second that they enter the coffee shop. “I know I lied to you, Al and it fucking kills me that I did but I just can’t be in the same room as them. You need to understand that.”

 

“I do understand it, okay? I understand it really fucking well for someone who doesn’t know what went down last summer.” Alex stops speaking, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she doesn’t want to get into a fight, that’s the last thing she wants but she’s frustrated. “- I just don’t know how long I can go on like this.” Alex frowns as she speaks, watching as Kelley’s face falls once the words sink in. “Please don’t look at me like that.” Alex begs slightly, her voice rising to a high-pitched squeak as she reaches for Kelley’s hand.

 

Kelley let’s Alex take hold of her hand; Alex brings her other hand up and starts twisting the ring on Kelley’s finger, her hands are involuntarily shaking.

 

“I know you’re going to hate me-”

 

“I could never hate you.” Kelley interjects, her voice is full of the cocky, confidence that most people would find irritating but it’s more than a little reassuring for Alex to hear.

 

“I think I made a mistake – asking you to help me out today – _we’re broken up_ or we’re supposed to be.” Alex grimaces as she speaks, swallowing thickly when she hears the sharp intake of breath that Kelley takes. “I think we need to keep our space this time, we’ll see each other at practice _obviously_ but other than that, I think we need to keep our distance.” Alex drops Kelley’s hand from her own, moving them into her own lap, she looks past Kelley, her gaze settling on the set of three photographs on the far wall.

 

By the time Alex blinks and focuses again; the chair in front of her is empty and Kelley’s nowhere to be seen.

 


	24. you killed it today, superstar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't really have anything to say so i hope you enjoy this chapter :')

Syd has her arms wrapped around Alex and her face burrowed into her strike partner’s pajama shirt, eyes closed and snoring lightly as the TV flickers as the credits to The Real Housewives start to play. It’s an awkward position for Alex to be sitting in because the weight of her laptop is pressing down onto her knee which is already being used to keep Syd steady on the couch. Alex is typing away, sifting through different PowerPoint presentations, trying to keep her concentration solely on finals which seem to be coming at her far too quickly. It’s only been a matter of hours since the coffee shop and realistically, Alex should be asleep because their quarterfinal vs. Penn State is tomorrow afternoon and Alex knows she’s going to need at least eight hours of sleep if she’s going to be in any state to play to the best of her ability.

 

Syd stirs, lifting her head a little, her eyes flickering before she closes them again and falls back asleep, her head pressing down against Alex’s ribcage, it’s uncomfortable, really, it’s the least comfortable position Alex has _ever_ been in but she can’t bring herself to move – so when she can’t walk tomorrow because of the pain in her legs; Syd’s going to know about it, but for now; for now, she can handle it.

 

Alex doesn’t remember falling asleep but the living room is dark when rubs her eyes, sitting up; she immediately panics looking down and feeling around the floor before she spies her laptop, closed and on the table and Syd not beside her anymore, there’s a blanket that’s been placed over her and Alex finally starts to register the pounding headache she has. Alex lays back down, rolling onto her back and tangling herself in the blanket as she stares up at the ceiling, barely able to stay awake. Alex doesn’t get back to sleep though, she tosses and turns until the sun comes up.

 

“Should we – you know – wake her?” Morgan asks, her attempt at a hushed whisper failing.

 

Julie shrugs, looking up from her phone and reaching for the cup of coffee in front of her. “Give her five more minutes; I don’t know how well she slept.”

 

“Are you worried about them?” Morgan asks again, this time she manages to nail the hushed whisper and there’s a sense of worry across her features as Julie’s phone slips from her hand at the question.

 

“I’m not worried _about_ them, I know they’ll work things out but I am worried _for_ them.” Julie pauses, locking her phone and unlocking it again not a second later. “I don’t think things are going to change until Kelley is a hundred percent honest with her and I don’t know if KO is willing to spill the details of last year because – look at Tobin – it took Tobin so long to get over what happened to her because I remember we had to stop her a few times from going and kicking the shit out of Ann. I’m not saying Alex is going to kick the shit out of her but what if they can’t get past _that_?”

 

“I can’t imagine them not being together.” Syd chimes in as she walks through into the kitchen, her hair still wet as she pulls on the collar of her t-shirt. “Or at least not being attached by the hip all the time and I hate seeing Christen in this _overprotective best friend_ mode again because she was a total bitch the last time.”

 

“She was looking out for KO, we all were.” Julie counters.

 

“I distinctly remember you and Christen arguing after a game because you were sick of Christen talking down to anybody who mentioned Kelley.” Syd shoots back and this time Julie shuts up, knowing that she can’t come up with a response to that.

 

Alex stirs a few moments later and in those few minutes after she joins her friends in the kitchen for breakfast, everything feels calm, everything feels fine, they don’t mention it; Julie doesn’t mention that when she returned home last night; Alex and Syd were both asleep curled into each other in the awkward-est of positions, she doesn’t mention that she’s the one who took Alex’s laptop off her and she definitely doesn’t mention how she noticed Alex’s phone unlocked on Kelley’s Instagram profile when she happened to gaze down at the couch.

 

Alex looks lost, she’s sitting on the counter, her legs crossed as she twists the ring on her finger, _technically_ they don’t have to be ready for the game for another three hours at least but this is essentially uncharted territory for Alex; with her promise firmly at the forefront of her mind to give herself and Kelley the space they need, Alex feels lost, she’s so used to spending her game days with Kelley, getting coffee, hanging out, taking a nap in Kelley’s bed but now she’s sitting in the kitchen looking down the hallway as Syd and Morgan argue over a t-shirt that Morgan is holding high above her head knowing that Syd isn’t _that_ tall.

 

“- So, it’s for real this time?” Julie’s voice brings Alex out of her thoughts as she jumps up to sit beside the striker on the counter. “- You and Kell are officially done, no more making plans, fooling parents, you’re going to be a normal broken up couple now?”

 

Alex swallows thickly but doesn’t respond.

 

“I have impeccable timing.” Is what Alex does say and her voice is bitter and she’s laughing to hide the overwhelming urge to cry.

 

Alex doesn’t regret leaving Berkeley for Stanford, she has felt more at home in Cardinal red over the last three months than she ever felt in a Bears jersey; Berkeley just wasn’t the right fit for her, the excitement faded a few months after she arrived at college and Alex had initially put it down to college finally taking its toll, papers and finals weighing her down mixed with college soccer and too many parties that she and her friends made unscheduled appearances at. Alex didn’t register just how upsetting being at Berkeley was – mainly because she had Hannah, Hannah made things _bearable_ – at least for a while.

 

“You’ll be okay, you know that.” Julie soothes, twisting so that she can rest her head against Alex’s shoulder. “You didn’t need Kell before you came to Stanford-”

 

“- I did.” Alex interjects, frowning as she says it. “Not, I didn’t – I didn’t need a girlfriend but I needed Kelley.”

 

Alex reaches out and twists her fingers in the bracelet on Julie’s wrist, she barely looks up from where her fingers press so hard into the metal that it leaves indents on her thumb and forefinger.

 

“I needed someone like Kelley.” After thinking, that’s what Alex eventually says. “Kelley made me open up, she showed me a different side to my personality and she made it so easy for me to love her.”

 

“Kelley makes it easy for anybody to love her, that’s just who she is.” Julie muses, flipping her hand over so that her palm is facing upwards and Alex is quick to place her own hand in the blonde’s. “That’s why-”

 

Alex curses Syd’s loud scream that effectively shuts Julie up, sending daggers into her strike partner’s head when Syd jumps on Moe’s back and yanks the t-shirt from the midfielder’s grip.

 

~

 

Alex doesn’t expect things to have changed between Christen and herself but when she walks into the locker room and spies their number 23 arguing in a hushed whisper with their coach, Tobin at her side looking like she doesn’t want to get involved but she’s involved anyway, somehow. Alex’s bag feels heavy on her shoulder as she looks over at the three of them for a short while longer; Tobin tears her eyes away from Christen’s stony-faced expression to catch Alex’s eyes and mouths ‘help’.

 

“You don’t pick the starting lineup, I do.” Paul states causing Christen to cross her arms over her chest “- and for this game, your ability to read the game will go well with Alex’s shoot-whenever-she-gets-the-ball policy she has going on. Got it?”

 

It isn’t a question.

 

Christen scowls and rolls her eyes but she nods, it’s only slight and if their coach had blinked he would have missed it. Alex drops her head when she hears Christen storm past her, focusing on a misplaced cleat on the floor so harshly that her vision starts to blur. Alex feels a faint hand on her shoulder and notices socks barely pulled above the person’s ankles; she smiles softly as Tobin squeezes her shoulder ever so slightly before she walks away leaving Alex to stand in the middle of the locker room, still staring down at the pair of cleats that she starts to recognize; how could she not, they’re worn out and barely keeping together anymore – they can only belong to one person.

 

Alex turns and is immediately met with Syd throwing her arm around her shoulders and leading her across the locker room.

 

“Ignore her, Al.” Syd mutters, not even trying to keep her voice at a low enough register that Christen won’t hear her.

 

Alex shuffles back as far as she can into her cubby, wrapping her arms around her knees as she leans back against the wood, the wood cold on the back of her neck; Alex closes her eyes, breathing in and out steadily before she reaches inside her bag, digging through the numerous (and useless) items in her bag until she can pull her earphones out; she plugs them into her phone and puts them in her ears; cursing as soon as she hits play when the opening chords to a soft, indie song starts to play and she realizes that somewhere between October and now, the music on her phone suddenly changed to match Kelley and her music taste. Alex swallows thickly but doesn’t skip the song, she just relaxes into the space, her eyes closed as she lets the sound of the soft guitar to help even out her breathing.

 

She knows it. She doesn’t have to look up to know it, and it fucking kills her not to open her eyes and look across the locker room and find Kelley laughing with Tobin and Emily instead of having her sit right beside her, poking her side, bugging her, singing her name, pulling out her earphones – every annoying thing that Alex misses.

 

Instead, Alex feels Syd hooking her chin over her shoulder, smiling sadly as she loops her arm through Alex’s.

 

“Don’t forget who loved you first.” Syd chimes, a small hint of a smirk playing on her lips as she smacks a kiss to the side of Alex’s head before she wraps her arms around Alex’s shoulders, squeezing her tightly before reaching down to the floor, grabbing one of her socks, balling it up and launching it across the locker room, hitting Allie on the side of the head. “Bullseye.” Syd sniggers bringing a smile to Alex’s face as she does.

 

Alex feels a genuine sense of happiness for around five seconds.

 

 

No one says anything, but everybody can feel the nerves radiating around the locker room as the time ticks towards kickoff time, the music is blasting but there’s a different air to the place, whether it’s the importance of this game or the niggling reminder in the back of every girl’s minds that this is their _last_ chance, they won’t get another shot after this, or whether it’s everybody being too scared to say anything because Christen will either blow up on them or either Kelley or Alex will storm out the locker room. It’s a tension like no other and no amount of lame jokes and loud music is going to change that.

 

Alex scratches at the tape around her ankle, her chipped maroon colored nail polish shining in the bright lights of the locker room as her fingers start to trace over the nineteen that’s still visible, it’s faint but it’s there. This isn’t their routine, their game day routine was simple; they do everything together but instead they’re on opposite sides of the locker room. Kelley is talking to Tobin, smiling wide and making wild threats. Alex barely reacts when she hears Kelley threaten to take out Penn State’s star striker in true KO fashion.

 

“Ready to kick ass?” Syd asks as she slides down and sits on the floor, leaning back in-between Alex’s legs as she pulls at her socks, her cleats untied and beside her. “- Do my hair for me, please?” Syd asks as she bats her eyelashes and hands Alex the hair tie in her hand.

 

“I’m scared.” Alex admits after a few seconds as she starts brushing her fingers through Syd’s hair.

 

“The famous Alex Morgan, queen of quarterfinal goals is _scared_?” Syd dramatically throws her arms up causing Alex to chuckle softly.

 

“Not because of the game, okay, a little bit because of the game but-” Alex sighs as she continues braiding Syd’s hair. “- Christen hasn’t talked to me since she yelled at me at practice and I’m pretty sure Paul is punishing us by starting us together but what if we fuck up the team dynamic because Christen won’t even give me a second look?”

 

“I think, sweetie, you’re blowing this way out of proportion.” Syd twists and turns to look at Alex, reaching up and letting her hands rest on Alex’s knees. “If there is one thing Christen hates more than you, it’s losing.”

 

“She hates me?”

 

“Are you surprised?” Syd shoots back in response, cocking her left eyebrow which leads Alex to shake her head. “- She doesn’t actually hate you but she’s pissed, Kelley means so much to her and she just hates seeing her hurt, you know that.”

 

“I know that.” Alex repeats. “- Can I finish your hair now?”

 

Syd turns back around and allows Alex to finish her hair as Syd jumps into a story, it’s a dumb story that doesn’t seem to mean anything but Alex is grateful for Syd, she’s grateful for the stupid story easing her nerves, easing the ill-feeling in her stomach, even if it’s just for a few seconds.

 

 

Alex _seriously_ debates whether to go down, clutching her ankle in the locker room after the warm-ups, crying out that it’s a flare up of the ankle injury she sustained a month and a bit ago but she decides against it, the team dynamic is screwed up a lot already with Christen and Alex barely able to say one word to each other that isn’t dripping with bitterness or sarcasm and with Alex and Kelley barely able to look each other in the eye before wanting to leave the room – throwing a fake injury into the midst of that just seems like more fuss than it’s probably worth.

 

Becky _tries_ , she tries really hard to rally her team, her voice rasping as she screams out, getting almost nothing in response.

 

Julie’s hand wraps around Alex’s, a soft smile on her face. Alex twists her hand and squeezes Julie’s back in response before clasping her own hands together and leaning forward, her elbows on her knees. 

 

“It’s not going to be as bad as you think.” Julie shrugs, leaning closer to Alex. “Just focus on playing, your parents are here, right? Isn’t this the first time they’re going to see you play for a good team?” Julie asks, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

 

“I’ve played for a good team before now, I won the CSL championship with Cypress Elite.” Alex shoots back, a smug smile on her face and some of the light returning to her eyes.

 

~

 

Alex is hopping from foot to foot as she stands at the edge of the field; she’s got her sleeves wrapped around her hands as she turns around; she catches Syd smiling at her from the bench before she feels a hand on her back before Tobin’s beside her. Tobin holds her hand out and Alex slaps it,

 

“You good?” Tobin asks,

 

“Never better.” Alex lies.

 

Tobin’s shoulders drop before she runs past Alex and gestures something to Cheney before the referee’s whistle causes Alex’s mind to go completely blank and for her to start running, not giving a second thought to anything other than going out to win this game.

 

Penn State are never a team to be underestimated; they’re a tough outfit, strong players who aren’t afraid to challenge their opposition, as demonstrated when Cheney goes down a little after the sixth minute mark from a poorly-timed tackle from the Penn State number sixteen. Tobin helps Cheney back to her feet to take the free kick as Alex makes her way into the area; she’s backing up, resisting the urge to elbow the defender behind her who has a fistful of Alex’s jersey in her hand. The free kick reaches Sam who heads it over the bar.

 

The game itself becomes cagey midway through the first half; the magnitude of what winning this game would mean is radiating from the field to the fans in the crowd; there aren’t many chances, a couple of tame attempts from outside the box from the same Penn State forward are both easily caught by Alyssa and there’s an audacious effort from Tobin from thirty-five yards out that goes sailing over the bar but other than that; the game is being essentially played in the midfield with loss of possession and interceptions being the majority of the action as the game ticks into the twenty-seventh minute, that is until Allie loses her player in the midfield and Penn State are clean through with Stanford’s defense and midfield all over the place. Becky screaming out instructions aren’t heard, Emily’s chasing back comes too late and the subs are on the edges of their seat as they anticipate the opening goal of the game – that is until, Kelley comes out of nowhere and dives in, getting a toe to the ball and kicking it straight to Emily’s feet, the Penn State forward gets tangled up with Kelley as they both stay down for a few seconds in the penalty area; Emily taking a swipe at the ball and not even reacting when the ball flies into the crowd.

 

Play stops when the Penn State number ten scrambles back to her feet but Kelley stays in a sitting up position, her palm pressed into the pitch and her head down. It’s an instinct really, before Alex can stop herself, stop to catch Christen’s gaze on Kelley or realize that Julie’s staring at her from the bench, Alex is jogging back towards her own area and inadvertently knocking into Emily so she can kneel down beside Kelley, her hand on the defender’s knee.

 

“I’m okay.” Kelley breathes out, grimacing a little as she accepts both Alex and Alyssa’s hands to help herself back to her feet. “I’ve done worse.” Kelley adds with a shrug as she stares directly at Alex.

 

Alex lets Kelley’s hand drop, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth, nodding slightly before turning and walking away.

 

It’s the thirty-fourth minute when Stanford get their first _real_ chance of the game; Cheney manages to find a gap in the Penn State defense and sends a through ball to Christen who has made her way out to the right wing, she gets the ball and skips past the Penn State outside back and gives herself an almost clear path towards goal; Christen just runs and the closer that she gets to goal the louder the shouts of ‘shoot’ get; until the outside back that Christen skipped over manages to get back in position which leaves Christen in a position not worth shooting from and Alex in space with a clear sight of goal. The bench scream at her to pass the ball, Paul screams at Christen to cross the ball to Alex but Christen shoots and the ball goes high and wide.

 

The crowd falls quiet and Alex turns around, her hand scratching at the back of her neck as she turns towards the bench; she catches Syd’s expression, mouth agape as she stares in Christen’s direction. The crowd seem as in much disbelief as the players at how Christen didn’t just square the ball for Alex to easily bury in the corner of the goal – everybody but Alex and Tobin who exchange a glance, knowing exactly why Christen didn’t square the ball.

 

Alex doesn’t dwell on it, she can’t, the ball is thrown out by the keeper to one of the defenders and the game is continuing with many trying to forget the glorious chance to go a goal up has just been squandered. Christen just jogs past Alex casually, ignoring the pointed look that Tobin sends her as she passes her girlfriend.

 

It feels like the rest of the first half drags after that, it feels as though the referee’s whistle is never going to come until it comes and the players head towards the locker room.

 

Alex had an eye for noticing details, sometimes so small that they’re barely noticeable; it came a lot from being at home and being curious but she would always notice when her mom wasn’t happy even if she didn’t outright say she wasn’t, she noticed the hushed argument her two best friends in middle school had about her so it isn’t strange for Alex to notice the way that Christen pulls herself roughly out of Tobin’s grip when Tobin reaches out to her – probably to ask her what the fuck the shot on goal was about, Alex notices the way Tobin’s shoulders drop and when she sees Syd jog up to her side.

 

“I told you.” Is what Alex says to her roommate.

 

 

“This is such a fucking joke!” Emily shouts followed by a balled up sweatshirt being launched across the locker room in a fit of rage. “Why didn’t you just pass the fucking ball, Press?!” Emily continues to shout, jumping up and pacing the locker room, a look of disbelief on her face as she furrows her eyebrows before scratching at the back of her neck. “You really _hate_ her that much that you want us to lose?! – No offence, Al.”

 

“She’s got a point.” Ali shrugs. “She made it _really_ badly but she’s right.” Ali looks at Christen who has sat herself so far down the locker room that there isn’t a player near her.

 

“If your fucking problem with Alex loses us this game I’ll fucking-”

 

It’s Morgan putting her hand over Emily’s mouth and making a disgusted face is what shuts Emily up before she says something unbelievably stupid that she won’t be able to take back. Emily scrambles a bit but eventually gives up and throws herself into her cubby, so hard that she takes a hard hit to her back but she doesn’t mention it.

 

“She won’t tell me why she did it.” Tobin sighs as she sits on the floor beside Alex’s cubby, tilting her head back and looking up at the forward.

 

“You really needed an explanation?” Alex shoots back, twisting the cap on her bottle of water. “We both know why she didn’t square that ball.”

 

“You’re my friend, Al, and I really don’t want to be stuck in the middle of this.” Tobin grumbles, pulling at a loose thread in her sock.

 

“Don’t be in the middle then? It’s that simple.” Alex smiles slightly, pulling at Tobin’s ponytail. “Are you going to get me a goal today?”

 

“That through ball was perfect, you wasted that chance.” Tobin shoots back, stifling her laughter.

 

“Buddy, that through ball went straight through to the goalkeeper.” Alex reminds Tobin, smiling sweetly at the midfielder.

 

“I don’t recall _that_ happening.” Tobin smirks.

 

 

It’s precisely seven minutes into the second half when Penn State score the opening goal of the game. It comes from a corner that Alyssa can’t get to, it’s the player that Emily’s supposed to be marking, she loses Emily towards the back post and heads the ball into the bottom left hand corner. Alyssa sits in front of the goal defeated, muttering curse words under her breath as she glares at Emily for losing the Penn State forward she was supposed to be marking. Kelley slams her hand against the field, anger flowing through her veins at the similar position that Stanford seem to find themselves in of late. Alex extends her hand to Kelley who takes it, Alex helps Kelley to her feet.

 

“We got this.” Alex mumbles.

 

“You sure?” Kelley asks her, not breaking eye contact with Alex once.

 

Alex doesn’t respond verbally but she shrugs, she knows she has faith that her teammates are going to come through but it doesn’t stop Alex doubting herself in the back of her mind.

 

The game restarts, the game continues but the breakthrough for Stanford doesn’t come, Paul subs in Amy and Syd, subbing out Christen and Sam. Amy has a chance just minutes after coming into the game, Tobin sends a ball through and Amy takes it, skipping past one of the center backs but the shot goes wide of the far post. Stanford get a corner around ten minutes later; Tobin jogs to retrieve the ball as Syd and Alex make their way into the penalty area, exchanging a knowing glance, knowing what they’re about to do – sometimes you have to play dirty.

 

Tobin sends the corner sailing into the penalty area; Alex swings and backs up against the Penn State defender, body checking her to the ground as Syd loses her own marker and manages to get her head onto the ball to divert it into the goal, just beating the Penn State keeper’s right hand.

 

_Sometimes playing dirty pays off._

 

Alex is the first to reach Syd, wrapping her arms tightly around her friend; Alex swings them around before their teammates all crash into the both of them. The game restarts once again, this time the score is level and there’s a little over twenty-five minutes left of the quarterfinal and with the players and the crowd filled with a renewed sense of hope that they can now go onto win this game, Alex realizes just how much she wants to score _that_ winning goal.

 

As the time starts to run out with the score still level, the quality of play reverts back to cagey, both teams know the importance of what winning this game would mean but the fear that going forward to try and get that winning goal is going to leave the defenses’ exposed. It’s the eighty-second minute when the change comes; after Ali goes down from being body checked by a Penn State midfielder; Paul and Kelley are standing on the sidelines, Kelley twirling a water bottle around her hand as she engages in an animated discussion with their coach. Kelley looks as though she’s dismissing the suggestion at first until she turns around and notices Ali nodding before getting back to her feet, visibly fine and not in too much discomfort. Kelley tosses the water bottle aside before nodding and rejoining the game, up front, on the right wing with a sense of determination etched all over her face.

 

Tobin sends the ball out wide to Syd and the game continues on, with six minutes to go and a lot riding on the next goal that’s scored in this game.

 

The chance Stanford are looking for comes in the eighty-seventh minute of the game, it comes from a free kick from Tobin being slammed to the pitch; it’s Alex who crosses the ball, thinking she’s over-hit it until Kelley runs into the penalty area from seemingly nowhere, managing to get the tip of her cleat on the ball and knocking it towards the goal, the ball sliding under the helpless dive of the Penn State keeper.

 

Alex doesn’t know where her speed comes from but she’s the first of her teammates to reach Kelley, grabbing the back of Kelley’s jersey and hugging her before Tobin jumps onto Kelley’s back and the rest of their teammates surround them. Still, Alex’s fingers still hold a tight grip onto the fabric of Kelley’s jersey. Kelley wraps her arm around Alex’s shoulders when their teammates let up.

 

“Nice finish, superstar.” Alex grins, nudging Kelley in the ribs with her elbow.

 

“Someone had to make sure that cross didn’t look as bad as it was.” Kelley shoots back, smirking at Alex causing her to laugh.

 

“That’s it. No more crosses for you.” Alex jokes before jogging ahead, glancing back over her shoulder, smiling at Kelley.

 

 

They win the game thanks to Kelley’s goal, they’re going to the College Cup and they’re sure they’re going to win it.

 

The noise in the locker room after the game is deafening; there are cleats flying (thanks Emily), bad-screaming/singing and Paul couldn’t get a word in edgeways if he tried.

 

“You’re staring.” Julie acknowledges as she throws herself down onto the floor beside Alex, stealing the bottle of water from Alex’s hands and taking a long sip. “You’re giving her a lost puppy look.”

 

“First of all, I’m not staring, second of all, get your own drink.” Alex smiles sweetly as she takes her bottle of water back from Julie.

 

“You two looked – uh – after the goal.” Julie says it but by the look on her face she regrets it as soon as she says it.

 

Alex twists, tilting her head to the side. “Uh? Nice use of the English language, JJ.” Alex half mumbles the words as she twists the cap on the water bottle. “We’re still teammates.”

 

“I never said anything.” Julie protests, holding one hand up in her defense.

 

“You didn’t have to; I know you’re thinking it.” Alex pushes herself up from the floor and crosses the locker room.

 

Alex wraps her arms around Tobin’s shoulders from behind, hooking her chin on the midfielder’s shoulder and getting herself lost in the celebrations.

 

~

 

“Why aren’t you dressed yet?” Syd asks, hopping up onto the stool beside the one Alex is sitting in.

 

Alex looks down at her sweats and Disneyworld t-shirt before shrugging. “I’m not going.” Alex replies, stabbing at a piece of cereal in the bowl in front of her with her spoon. “I’m tired, the game killed me.”

 

“Al… you have to come.” Syd pleads, jutting out her bottom lip as she stares into Alex’s eyes.

 

“If that’s your compelling reason why I should go tonight then you failed big time.” Alex laughs as she uses her free hand to push Syd’s face away from her.

 

“Is it because of Kell, because you’re still teammates so you’re going to see each other every day?” Syd asks, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth as Alex falls radio silent, pushing the soggy cereal in her bowl around with her spoon. “I’m not leaving this apartment until you’re dressed so I would hurry up, sweetie.” Syd waves her phone in front of Alex’s face showing her the time.

 

Alex hesitates but after Syd glares at her, Alex huffs and jumps down from the stool walking in the direction of her bedroom before stopping and glancing back over her shoulder.

 

“Dressed. Now.” Syd urges without looking up from her phone.

 

Alex takes her time getting ready and she’s pretty sure she can hear Syd pacing up and down the hallway as she ties the laces to her Nikes. Alex pulls open the bedroom door and leans against the doorframe, watching Syd absentmindedly pace the hallway.

 

“You’re going to burn a hole in the floor if you carry on pacing.” Alex’s voice causes Syd to jump before she looks up and smiles.

 

“Ready? JJ and Moe are downstairs.”

 

“Where are we going?” Alex asks as she walks out of her bedroom and follows Syd through the apartment.

 

“A bar near campus, I don’t know, it was Ash and Ali’s idea.” Syd stops walking and Alex walks into her.

 

“Seriously, Syd?” Alex grumbles as Syd turns around, smiling sheepishly.

 

“You are okay about going, right? If you want to leave after ten minutes I’ll leave with you-” Syd mumbles, her voice is barely audible but Alex catches the words and smiles softly, reaching out and holding Syd’s hand.

 

“I’m okay, I’ll be okay and if I can manage to drag you away from the bar at any point during tonight I’ll be surprised.” Alex jokes but she’s not entirely sure she does a good job of reassuring Syd. “It sucks but we’ll get through it, Kell’s worth working through this.”

 

“So you’re saying there’s a chance?” Syd asks, swinging hers and Alex’s hands as they leave the apartment and start walking downstairs.

 

“I’m saying I don’t know what’s going to happen but I want us to get to a place where we can try it again; I’m not willing to let her go that easily.” Alex smiles sadly. “I think if we did, you know, get back together, she would have to explain everything to me first because it hurts that she’s keeping it from me even though I know it must be hard for her.”

 

“I can’t imagine you and Kell not working this out, you two are perfect for each other.” Syd muses as she pushes open the building door.

 

“I shouldn’t take that as a compliment, should I?” Alex asks cautiously.

 

Syd laughs and glances back over her shoulder. “I wouldn’t.”

 

 

By the time the four of them finally arrive at the bar, the rest of their teammates are already on their second or third drinks and it doesn’t take long for a drink to appear in Alex’s hand and for Syd to urge her to ‘ _drink up because you’re ruining the mood_.’

 

Alex realizes a talent that she didn’t know she had when she’s three drinks in and twirling a dart around her finger before throwing it and watching it hit the bullseye which of course causes Ali who is apparently the reigning darts champion within the team to challenge her and a few minutes later, the team have split and decided who is rooting for who and Julie and Morgan are slurring Alex’s name and gesturing wildly whilst spilling a drink, presumably vodka.

 

The first thing that Alex notices is Kelley sitting on her side of the bar, peeling the label off her beer bottle.

 

“I thought you defenders all stuck together?” Alex asks, sitting on the table beside Kelley and nudging her in the arm.

 

“I can go and root for Ali if you want.” Kelley suggests, fighting back a smile. “After all, she _is_ the reigning champion.”

 

“What do I get if I win?” Alex asks, raising her left eyebrow as she focuses on Kelley’s facial expression as the defender thinks.

 

“A kiss, even if you lose.”

 

Kelley isn’t the one who says it, in fact, most of the team look around and at each other but no one admits to answering Alex’s question.

 

“Is this competition going to start before Christmas or?” Tobin asks, looking over from where she’s slouched against Christen’s side.

 

So it does and it takes up most of the night; in the end it’s Ali who beats Alex.

 

“I guess that’s why you’re the reigning champion, huh.” Alex grins as she holds her hand out to shake Ali’s hand.

 

“You’re still the best competition I’ve had in a while. You’re better than Ash.” Ali teases before blowing a kiss to Ashlyn and pulling Alex in for a hug.

 

 

Alex makes her way through the group of students to the bar and leans against the bar, tapping against the wood as she waits flag down the bartender who seems less interested in getting Alex a beer and more interested in the girl twirling a straw around her drink. Eventually, Alex gets her beer but when she tries to pay the bartender, he just tells her that it’s already been paid for leaving Alex confused.

 

“You can thank me later.” The voice sends a shiver down Alex’s spine as she spins around. “Or you can thank me now.”

 

“Thanks.” Alex mumbles, taking the bottle of beer and walking away, she’s heading back to the table she’s sitting at with Tobin and Ashlyn when she stops and turns around. “Of all the bars in this state, you conveniently end up at this one?”

 

“I’m not stalking you.” She defends, holding her hands up in surrender. “I was just meeting a friend.”

 

“Good to know.” Alex mutters.

 

“Still hate me?” Hannah asks her, looking more amused than Alex wants her to.

 

Alex purses her lips before pressing them into a thin line to avoid saying what she wants to. “Not as much as I probably should, that’s for sure.” Alex starts scratching at the label on the bottle. “Why’d you buy me a drink?”

 

“Peace offering.” Hannah replies almost immediately. “I actually wanted to talk to you.”

 

Alex hesitates, really, she shouldn’t be giving Hannah Wilkinson the time of day but something’s pulling at her and she’s agreed to it before she can stop herself, so that’s what they do, they sit at a table far enough away from Alex’s teammates so that they might not be able to tell who she’s talking to and definitely out of earshot because the last thing she needs is Syd or Allie to eavesdrop on her conversation.

 

The conversation is forced at first with how Alex left things at Berkeley, it’s awkward, with Hannah it’s awkward, there are so many unanswered questions that Alex doesn’t know if she’s ready to go back and revisit. Hannah’s talking about the trip she took back home to see her family when Alex notices the beer she’s drinking.

 

“You bought me this on our first date.” Alex interjects. “When we got lunch by the beach, right?”

 

“You remembered.” Hannah laughs nervously, pressing her palm into the table. “I thought you’d drowned out everything to do with me.” She jokes.

 

Alex smiles before it fades. “I’m sorry I left in the way I did.”

 

“Al, I was surprised you didn’t punch me in the face, you don’t need to apologize for leaving.” Hannah smiles slightly. “Hope talks about you a lot, she still hates me, she was talking about you the other day, and she misses you more than she will _ever_ admit.”

 

“Do you miss me?” Alex asks, raising her eyebrows as she stares at Hannah curiously.

 

“I miss your goals, but yeah, I do.” Hannah shrugs. “You were a huge part of my life Al, I can’t forget that.”

 

“That’s what I was going to say.” Alex laughs sadly. “You gave me so many memories that I don’t want to forget, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss you, I just hated what you did.”

 

“Alex.” Hannah leans across the table and pries Alex’s hand off the bottle and holds it.

 

“If you’re going to tell me you’re sorry again, don’t, because I know you are.” Alex squeezes Hannah’s hand.

 

Alex and Hannah spend the rest of the night talking until Julie stumbles over to her, digging her fingers into Alex’s shoulders and asking if she’s sober enough to drive them home and something about shots and puking.

 

“I guess that’s my cue to leave before Julie gets so drunk she thinks she can do something stupid like fly.” Alex stands up and walks around to Hannah, pulling her in for a hug. Alex holds Hannah close for a minute before whispering. “I’m not there yet but I think I can forgive you.”

 

“That’s all I’ve wanted, Al.” Hannah smiles, after that, it’s a blur.

 

Hannah kisses Alex, somebody screams, Morgan falls off her chair and out of the corner of her eye, Alex sees Christen chasing after Kelley who headed straight for the exit.

 

 

“Can you stop talking about it now?” Alex grumbles, rubbing her temples as she walks into the apartment, tossing her keys to the side as she heads straight to the kitchen. “It’s not like I asked her to kiss me.”

 

“Do you even hear yourself?” Syd laughs bitterly. “Hannah, as in the Hannah that outed you to your fucking parents.”

 

Alex slams the refrigerator door shut after grabbing a bottle of water. “Why are you so fucking pressed about this?” Alex asks, her voice rising as she glares at Syd. “Last time I checked I didn’t need your permission to kiss someone and at least I had the fucking audacity to wait until I was single before I kissed another girl!”

 

Syd doesn’t reply and the conversation falls dead giving both a minute to breathe.

 

“Where are JJ and Moe?” Alex asks without looking up.

 

“Puking in the bushes outside.” Syd replies before starting to laugh, which causes Alex to start laughing just seconds later. “I’m sorry, Al.”

 

“I know.” Alex smiles, meeting Syd’s gaze. “I know it was stupid to kiss Hannah Wilkinson of all people. Did Kelley storm out?”

 

“She didn’t storm, she looked like she was about to cry.” Syd grimaces as she says it which causes Alex to frown. “She’ll be okay; I think she was more upset about who it was.”

 

“I should – I should go and make sure they haven’t passed out in the bushes.” Alex mumbles the words out quickly before rushing out of the apartment and running down the stairwell so fast that at one point she thought she was going to run straight into the wall.

 

Alex runs out of the building, noticing that Julie and Moe are sitting on the ground outside holding their heads so she rolls the bottle of water towards them and tells them to drink before walking past them and across the street to Kelley’s building; she doesn’t know why she’s so insistent on giving Kelley an explanation and she knows in the back of her mind that she doesn’t have to but the thought of Kelley being upset tugs at her chest and she can’t help herself.

 

Alex pulls open the building door but stops when she sees Kelley sitting on the stairs, her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.

 

“Kell?” Alex’s voice causes Kelley to jump and when she lifts her head, Alex gasps quietly. “What’s up? Why are you crying? I’m sorry!” Alex exclaims.

 

“S’not you.” Kelley mumbles, sniffling before starting to cry again.

 

Alex rushes in and sits down on the step beside Kelley, wrapping her arms around Kelley and holding her close to her, running her hand through Kelley’s hair. Kelley twists and wraps her arms around Alex before mumbling but her voice is so muffled by Alex’s shirt that she can’t understand what Kelley’s telling her at first until she repeats it, louder and clearer.

 

“I think I fucked my knee up during the game.” Kelley manages to get out before screwing her eyes shut and breathing out shakily. “It felt familiar, I had a bad knee injury in high school that nearly screwed up Stanford for me and it – it felt like that. I can’t go through an injury like that again.”

 

“Don’t, try and stay optimistic, it was a really physical game, it might not be as bad as it seems.” Alex tries to reassure her, reaching for Kelley’s hand and holding it, intertwining their fingers. “You killed it today, superstar, we wouldn’t have won without you.”

 

“Thanks, Lex.” Kelley mumbles. “You also didn’t need to apologize for kissing her.” Kelley adds, sitting up and looking at Alex, not letting go of her hand.

 

“I didn’t want to kiss her, we were just talking about things.” Alex explains. “It was weird, it was the best conversation we’ve ever had, we never used to just sit and talk when we were together, but I actually talked to you, we talked about so much, I miss that.” Alex mumbles out tiredly.

 

Alex helps Kelley limp up the stairs to her apartment, Alex is just about to walk back to go and get Julie and Morgan if they haven’t already sobered up enough to walk up the stairs.

 

“We’ll be okay.” Kelley calls out before Alex can leave.

 

“I know.” Alex smiles at her. “Go and rest your knee and I’ll see you tomorrow, lov – night, Kell.”


	25. screw the high road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, heads up, it's part of the storyline ok so don't come at me

“Coffee?” Julie offers, glancing up from her phone as Alex walks into the kitchen, climbing onto one of the stools and dropping her head to the table.

 

Alex mumbles out an incoherent response that Julie takes as a ‘yes’ and seconds later there’s a full mug of coffee by Alex’s head; lifting her head up, Alex yawns as she curls her left hand around the mug.

 

“Our flight couldn’t be at midday? It _had_ to be at seven in the fucking morning.” Alex grumbles as she takes a sip of coffee, pulling a face when she burns her tongue. “Have you tried to wake Syd up yet?”

 

“God no.” Julie laughs as she locks her phone and sets it aside. “I am not risking her biting my head off, you do it.”

 

It goes back and forth for the next five minutes; Alex and Julie coming up with all ridiculous reasons as to why they shouldn’t be the one that goes and wakes up their roommate, they’re so deep in conversation that they don’t register Morgan entering the kitchen, a handful of Syd’s sweatshirt bunched up in her fist as she drags the forward into the kitchen with her. It’s only when Syd throws herself down beside Alex do the pair of them realize,

 

“What are you doing awake?”

 

“We thought we would have to drag you out of bed.”

 

“There’s this thing called an alarm.” Syd grumbles before yawning “- and Moe and her stupid loud voice; there was _no_ way I could sleep through that.”

 

They barely talk, all four too tired to formulate a coherent enough sentence to start a conversation so they just sit there with coffee, grumbling about how tired they are until realizing that if they don’t hurry up they’re going to be late.

 

It’s a rush and Alex and Syd are convinced they’ve forgotten stuff but they’re out of the door and heading downstairs a little after 4:30AM; it’s dark out and Syd trips over Morgan’s backpack but they eventually find the rest of their teammates; all of who are in similarly irritable moods and it doesn’t take long for small, unneeded arguments to ensue amongst various teammates; like how Becky’s talking to herself is getting on Tobin’s last nerve and how Kling’s humming is making Sam want to tear her hair out and how Emily’s general personality is getting on _everybody’s_ nerves. Alex rolls her eyes when Christen walks past her and bumps her shoulder deliberately but she bites her tongue because she’s so tired and that incapable of keeping her temper under wraps, she doesn’t think she’d be able to stop herself from slapping Christen so hard.

 

“Why did it have to be all the way across the country?” Amy sighs, blowing her hair out of her face. “Why couldn’t the Cup just be held in – I don’t know – Utah?”

 

“Duke are basically playing a home game-” Tobin chimes in. “- This game is going to be so much harder than we think.”

 

“Thanks genius, _we had no idea_.” Syd sarcastically draws out as she looks over her seat at Tobin. Syd opens her mouth to say something else but Alex’s hand on her arm stops her as Alex pulls Syd down to sit properly.

 

“That’s enough talk about soccer; it’s too early.” Sam yawns, snuggling further into her sweatshirt as she leans back against the window.

 

“I agree!” Emily exclaims causing the majority of the team to immediately shush her. “I want to talk more about Alex kissing her ex girlfriend; isn’t there some unwritten rule about that?”

 

“ _Oh yeah_ , this I _need_ to hear.” Christen smirks, crossing her arms over her chest as Alex scowls, meeting her eyes for barely a second.

 

“We’re not talking about this.” Alex shakes her head, pulling the collar of her sweatshirt up to hide her face as she slouches in her seat. “Somebody change the subject.”

 

Nobody willingly changes the subject.

 

“I thought you said your ex was the reincarnation of Satan or something?” Emily continues, ignoring the glare that Alex sends her across the bus.

 

“Kelley said that.” Alex replies through gritted teeth. “I said that calling her the reincarnation of Satan was being nice.”

 

“Why did you kiss her, honestly?” Emily climbs up onto her knees as she leans over the back of her seat, swiping the bottle of water from Kling’s hand as she does.

 

“I didn’t.” Alex sighs as she brushes a hand through her hair. “She kissed me.”

 

“Oh, that excuse again.” Christen mutters from the row behind.

 

Alex grits her teeth, balling her hands up into fists as she bites her tongue to avoid causing an argument.

 

“Did you want to kiss her?” Emily asks, leaning forward even more, thoroughly immersed in the moment and a lot more awake than she was before.

 

“No, no, I don’t think so; we were just talking about stuff.” Alex tugs her bottom lip between her teeth as she shrinks back into her seat again. “It caught me way off-guard but no.” Alex confidently states it this time, knowing that she’s not just saying it to kid herself.

 

“Boring.” Emily groans. “I wanted drama.”

 

“Then watch Netflix.” Alyssa tells her as she climbs onto the bus with Kelley trailing behind her.

 

Kelley smiles at Alex as she passes her row and sits down in the seat beside Christen after making Christen move so she can have the window seat. Syd shuffles around in her seat before she curls herself against Alex’s side and mumbles out something that sounds vaguely similar to ‘comfy’. Alex shifts slightly to make herself more comfortable; she closes her eyes as the bus starts moving. It’s a bumpy ride and it doesn’t help Alex to fall asleep as easily as she would have liked and Syd’s snoring in her ear definitely doesn’t help matters which makes things so much harder when they arrive at the airport and Alex has to resist the urge to bite back a list of insults that are on the tip of her tongue.

 

 

“If you keep glaring at her you’re going to burn a hole into the side of her head.” Julie sings in Alex’s ear as she sits down in the chair beside her, crossing her legs and handing her the cup of coffee that she just went to get.

 

Alex takes the cup and scratches at the lid, staring at Christen and Kelley for a few more seconds before finally tearing her gaze away and turning to look at Julie who is already focused on Alex; her eyebrows raised.

 

“Burning a hole in the side of her head doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world.” Alex scowls as she speaks, knitting her eyebrows together when she burns her tongue on the coffee. “- I know, I know, take the high road.” Alex adds an eye roll for effect as she slouches down in the chair.

 

“Screw the high road.” Julie muses, wiggling her eyebrows and bringing a smile to Alex’s lips as they both drink their coffee. “If she wants to let this drag on, I say, game on but not like be violent, don’t hurt her, please.”

 

Alex laughs and humors Julie’s tough act promising not to slide tackle Christen until she asks for it, only fueling Alex’s laughter further with the horrified, panicked expression on Julie’s face. Alex wraps her hand around Julie’s wrist and twists in her seat so she’s leaning against the blonde.

 

“I could take her.” Alex mumbles, shooting one last glare at Christen who is gushing over something that Kelley’s showing her on her phone.

 

 

A three hour delay is the last thing the team need to hear when Cheney returns; she holds her hands up in defense and groans, stating that it’s not her fault their flight is delayed and not to shoot the messenger although it’s not so bad considering in their area of the airport that they’ve made home; at least half of the team is lying across three chairs, lying on the floor or lying on top of each other asleep. Alex isn’t, though she is sitting on the floor with Julie splayed across her lap asleep after having her complain for nearly an hour about how tired she was before Alex finally forced her to go to sleep but now she’s stuck, she can’t move without disturbing Julie but she really needs to pee.

 

Another body slides down to sit beside Alex; nudging her elbows.

 

“Say Cal win their semi final and we win ours; think Kelley will kill Hannah again?”

 

Alex tilts her head to the side, watching for a second. “Is it just me or are you excited about that prospect?”

 

Tobin laughs and nudges Alex’s shoulder. “Hannah’s a giant compared to Kell; come on, admit it’s a little funny.”

 

Alex smiles and leans back against the wall, letting her gaze move around the departure lounge until it lands on the two people she’s looking for; Christen and Kelley are curled up together, Kelley’s wildly shaking her head as she points to something on her phone.

 

“Stop-” Tobin draws out, reaching out and wrapping her hand around Alex’s wrist causing Alex to tear her eyes away from the two of them. “- I know you hate it, I know that Christen’s behavior is irrational and uncalled for and I know you understand why you’re doing it but if you just want to go and talk to Kell then do it; she’s not going to stop you, she’ll just glare at you but she’s not banning you from talking to Kell.”

 

“What makes you think I want to talk to Kell?” Alex asks, cocking her left eyebrow as she meets Tobin’s eyes.

 

Tobin tilts her head to side and Alex gives in way too easy.

 

“I don’t even know what I want to talk to her about but it’s weird not talking to her every single second.” Alex grumbles as she throws her head back against the wall, cursing quietly when she bangs her head.

 

“I thought you two were on good terms?” Tobin asks, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

 

“We are.” Alex sighs. “We just suck at being broken up; I’ve never had an ex like her.”

 

“No offence but you can’t really say much when your ex girlfriend is Hannah Wilkinson.” Tobin shrugs. “You can’t compare the two.”

 

“I’m not.” Alex protests.

 

“Tell your face, buddy.” Tobin grins as she nods towards Alex. “Nobody told you that you two couldn’t still be friends. So what? You don’t have sex in the nearest bathroom, aside from that has _anything_ truly changed between you two?”

 

Alex pauses, pursing her lips before shaking her head. “That’s the problem, nothing _has_ changed!” Alex exclaims before immediately shutting up and glancing down to Julie who doesn’t even stir. “Maybe I’m just used to everything changing, with Hannah it was us completing deteriorating, my teammates all turned against me because Hannah told them some bullshit about why we broke up, Hope threatened to punch anybody who came near me – which is exactly what Christen is doing without the violence.” Alex sighs and runs a hand through her hair. “You’re right, I’m comparing them.”

 

“If it makes you feel any better; Kelley’s only damaged by things that have happened to her; Hannah’s just a bitch.” Tobin grins at Alex causing them both to laugh. “Whenever you want to talk to Kell, text me and I’ll distract Christen.”

 

“You’re the best friend a girl could ask for.” Alex smiles sincerely which causes Julie to stir, wake up and sit up, pointing between Tobin and Alex.

 

“I’m her best friend.” Is all she says before she lies back down and closes her eyes again.

 

 

They finally board their flight to North Carolina and by this time, everybody is completely over their travel day and everybody just wants to get to the hotel and sleep for at least three hours. Alex wishes she could sleep, she’s usually fine on flights; she finds them so relaxing (once they’re in the air that is) but it’s been twenty minutes and she’s irritable; she’s crossing her legs, uncrossing them, twisting in her seat and trying to find a comfortable position but nothing feels right and she doesn’t know if she can handle another five hours on this plane.

 

“I swear to god if you move once more I am going to kick your ass.” Syd grumbles, lifting her eye mask and leaning back to meet Alex’s eyes.

 

“I’m sorry.” Alex sighs, sitting straight forward and staring at the seat in front of her.

 

Syd goes quiet for a few seconds and Alex thinks she’s gone back to sleep when she starts muttering something incoherent and pulls the eye mask over her head before she fully turns in her seat to face Alex.

 

“You’re lucky I love you Morgan because I’m giving up my precious sleep to see what’s up.” Syd tries to act tough but she’s concerned when Alex doesn’t even crack a smile at her. “Babe, come on, what’s up?”

 

“I wanted to kiss her.” Alex admits shyly; testing the words, it’s the first time she’s said them out loud. “Not for the reason you think-” Is all Alex manages to get out before Syd pulls a face.

 

“Humor me.” Syd’s tone drips with a strong hint of bitterness as she slouches in her seat.

 

Alex scowls before softening her features and thinking through carefully how she is going to explain it without it being completely jumbled up and confusing for anybody but her.

 

“I wanted some sort of validation, she did some _terrible_ things, she took away the one thing in my life I could control and whilst that destroyed our relationship; it didn’t just magically cause my feelings for her to evaporate; I was hurt, upset, angry, sure but it didn’t mean I was just going to automatically stop loving her overnight.” Alex stops talking, realizing that it wasn’t so hard to explain after all.

 

“You’re not over her?” Syd tries (and fails) to hide the frustration in her voice as she wraps her hand around Alex’s bicep, trying to force her roommate to look in her direction.

 

Alex doesn’t answer; she bites her tongue to avoid making any sort of sound; keeping herself frozen until Syd sighs and gives up.

 

~

 

Alex is glad that she’s rooming with Amy when they finally arrive in North Carolina and get to the hotel a good four hours after they were supposed to. Amy’s one of Alex’s favorite people and she also knows that Amy wouldn’t push her to tell her anything unless she’s ready; they laugh as they unpack their stuff, listening to a playlist on Amy’s phone as they do. Cheney and Tobin come to their room around twenty minutes later; Tobin flopping on Alex’s bed by the window and lying back with her arms behind her head whilst Cheney sits on Amy’s bed quietly and scrolls through her phone.

 

Tobin strikes up a conversation with Arod whilst Alex taps against her phone screen, looking around the room; Syd hadn’t said a word to her since their conversation during the flight; in fact, she had barely spared Alex a glance once they arrived in North Carolina and it was eating at her insides.

 

Alex wishes she wasn’t so used to this feeling; she’s felt like this so many times. Imagine this feeling, but imagine feeling it for three straight years; she felt like this when she was on the field at Cal, she felt like this when her teammates were celebrating a win, when they were hanging out, she felt completely disconnected. Usually, she would just sit back and let it blow over, wait for the other person to make the first move but this isn’t Cal and Alex isn’t the same person she was four months ago.

 

“I’m going to-” Alex stands up abruptly “- I’m going to find Syd.” She adds quietly, smiling at Cheney when she passes and leaves the room.

 

Alex walks down the hallway, her phone in her hand as she tries to find Allie and Syd’s room; she stops and knocks on the door, backing up a little and swinging back and forth on her heels, holding the corner of her phone between her thumb and forefinger when the door opens and Allie smiles, leaning against the door.

 

“She’s not here.” Allie says to her. “She said something about ice or _Allie I’m going to find the cute guy from the lobby_ or something to do with icing the cute guy from the lobby-” Allie waves her hands in the air, a puzzled expression on her face.

 

“Icing? You know what, never mind, I don’t need to know; thanks.” Alex offers Allie a smile as she’s already turning around to head downstairs to the lobby.

 

“Al-” Allie grabs a fistful of Alex’s shirt before she can get away. Alex stops and Allie wraps her arms around Alex’s shoulders from behind, hugging her. “- Nobody with _maybe_ the exception of Press thinks you’re a bad person, just like nobody thought Kell was a bad person last year; things happen and they fuck you up, okay it just-”

 

“Makes you human?” Alex finishes her sentence for her. “I know; thanks.” Alex smiles up at Allie before leaving and heading downstairs to the lobby.

 

 

Alex decides against talking to Syd, realizing she needs a little more time to think through everything that’s running through her head; she trails Julie for most of the afternoon and lucky for Alex but strangely for Julie, Julie doesn’t ask any questions and definitely doesn’t call out Alex on her lack of focus and inability to string a sentence together that has more than three words in it.

 

That evening, early on they have a light training session that was changed at the last minute due to the horrible travel day that the team had, the flight delay combined with the early wakeup call had drained the team of nearly all their energy – except for Emily. Kelley takes part in some of the session, only the light stuff considering her knee was still giving her issues, not as many as they were during the aftermath of the quarterfinal and Kelley being Kelley; she was never going to sit back and forcibly sit out of these next (hopefully) two games.

 

A ball hits Alex’s ankle as she’s standing around waiting for Julie to go and retrieve theirs; when she looks around, she narrows her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest when she finds Christen staring at her with her hands on the hips until Christen dips her head and nods towards the ball. Alex smiles, batting her eyelashes as she slides her foot on top of the ball, rolling it under her foot; Christen looks expectant for a brief second before Alex turns her back on the other forward and boots the ball as hard as she can over the opposite side of the field; feeling smug when it heads straight for the stands. Alex smirks when she turns back around, throwing a sarcastic wave towards Christen as she passes her before holding out her hand to catch the ball that Julie sends towards her.

 

“She’s going to slap you before this weekend is over.” Julie comments; laughing a little as they pass the ball between each other.

 

Alex shrugs as she starts juggling the ball, only stopping when she notices that the rest of her teammates have stopped or are stopping and looking behind Alex. Alex turns around and notices what the rest of her teammates are staring at, or rather, who they’re all staring at. Hope throws a wave across field to Alex when they find each other and Alex barely waits until Paul has told them that training is over before she’s jogging across field and up the stairs.

 

“It’s been a while, Morgan.” Hope comments when Alex reaches her and brings her into an (almost) bone-crushing hug.

 

Some of her former teammates glare whilst others come in for a quick hug but Hope hangs back whilst most of her teammates head towards the locker room.

 

“So, I thought the ship had sailed with you and Hannah?” Hope asks casually, raising her eyebrows as she glances at Alex who just tugs her bottom lip between her teeth and looks anywhere but at Hope in response.

 

“It has.” Alex shrugs. “Sorta.”

 

“ _Sorta_?”

 

Alex notices most of her teammates packing up. “Listen, I’ll call you tonight and tell you everything, and not Hannah’s twisted side of the story.”

 

“So you two didn’t kiss?” Hope asks as Alex starts walking away.

 

Alex turns on her heel and walks backwards before shrugging. “Oh, yeah, we definitely did, I’ll tell you later.”

 

~

 

Alex is sitting on the floor of her room with Amy tying the laces to her Nikes and yawning, it’s a little after 7:30AM and Alex doesn’t know why she’s awake but after her phone call with Hope last night that went into the early hours because Alex didn’t spare a single detail on how she’s feeling, she fell asleep as soon as the call ended and despite her hour tossing and turning trying to get out of her head, she’s wide awake and ready to get on with her day, and trying to be as quiet as possible because Amy’s still asleep.

 

There’s a soft knocking on the door and Alex stands up, tripping over at first because she’s still only tied one of her laces but when she pulls the door open; Syd’s swinging back and forth on her heels and Alex feels her throat close up.

 

“Hey…” Syd trails off. “I didn’t think you would actually be awake.”

 

“Says the girl who would sleep until noon if we let her.” Alex teases trying to break the tension between them.

 

“I don’t trust people who are awake at the crack ass of dawn.” Syd shrugs before she looks between herself and Alex and smiles. “Never mind.” She waves her hands around. “I came over to see if you wanted to get coffee with me?”

 

“Do you even have to ask?” Alex grins as she turns around, letting the door shut for a minute as she grabs her phone and her keycard, remembering to message Amy before she leaves in case she’s wondering where she’s gone when she wakes up. “Let’s go.” Alex says when she opens the door again and leaves the room.

 

They struggle at first to find a coffee shop and have to stop a few times to make sure they know how to get back to their hotel, they walk in silence and Alex fiddles with the hem of her t-shirt as they walk, wanting to just mention it so that they can talk about it and get over it because Syd’s not quiet, she’s never usually one to hold back on saying anything to anybody but she’s biting her tongue on this and Alex doesn’t know if she prefers it this way or the other way – at least with the other way they already would’ve talked about this and be over it.

 

They finally find a coffee shop fifteen minutes later, after buying their drinks they slide into a table near the window and Alex shrinks back into the chair as she crosses her legs. Syd scrolls through her phone at first before dropping her phone and staring at Alex.

 

“Be honest-”

 

Alex opens her mouth to protest but Syd shakes her head.

 

“- I know you’re not over her, she fucked you up, dude but you’re going to get hurt.” Syd tells her straight before drinking her coffee.

 

Alex balls her hands up into fists and drops her head. Alex knows she sometimes struggles to fight her own battles but she’s sick of having people tell her that she’s straight up going to get hurt, if she wants to make mistakes then she will and she’ll learn from them – it’s not the healthiest path to go by, walking into something that will usually end up in her tears but that’s down to her.

 

“- I also know that kiss meant more to you than you told me.”

 

“You know nothing!” Alex groans, rubbing her hands across her face as she scowls.

 

Syd doesn’t seem fazed, she just leans back and waits for Alex to calm herself down which doesn’t take long before Alex is apologizing and Syd’s waving the apology away.

 

“I wasn’t there when the stuff with Hannah went down-” Syd leans across the table and wraps her hand around Alex’s “- but we’re friends now and I don’t want any of my friends to get hurt, it hurt seeing Kell end up the way she did and I don’t want to see you go through something like that. You know you’re playing a dangerous game if you fall back into her trap?”

 

“Her trap?” Alex asks; cocking her left eyebrow.

 

“Do you honestly think she’s changed?” Syd half-changes the subject as Alex shrugs. “Don’t let her get into your head.”

 

“I’m not letting her get into my head.”

 

“Good.” Syd smiles and squeezes Alex’s hand before letting it go and changing the subject to something so light-hearted that Alex’s sleepy state begins to wonder whether the previous conversation even happened.

 

 

Alex thinks it’s Christen’s idea by the way she’s smirking but when the idea that they all go to the stadium and watch the first semi-final instead of watching it on TV spreads around the team, it’s a resounding yes in response that has Alex sitting on the edge of her bed and brushing her hair before pulling it back into a ponytail.

 

It’s a strange concept to think about; Cal missed out on the semi finals last year, Alex was heartbroken when they lost to USC; she remembers slamming her right cleat into the wall and storming out of the locker room; berating herself for missing that golden chance when the score was level – not that it would’ve made that much difference; they still fell to a humiliating 5-0 loss. She still remembers that day as though it was yesterday, the hurt is still fresh when she thinks about it; she remembers the way Hannah stared at her as she walked out and how Hope had muttered something before following her. She remembers the way that her chest heaved as she slid down the wall around the corner from the locker room; her head in her hands as the tears flowed, how her entire body ached from being body-checked for ninety minutes, how angry she was because Hannah was being irrational.

 

Thinking back; Alex would laugh at how much that single argument with Hannah hurt, because that was nothing compared to what she was going to do just a few days later, Alex is still mad at herself, she still blames herself for not putting two and two together sooner, how she didn’t realize that Hannah could be that fucking stupid, that cruel that she would out Alex to her sister, who in turn told her family, she never blamed Jeri but those final months at Cal; when Hannah pulled a disappearing act and Hope had cornered Alex and told her that Hannah was thinking about transferring. Alex panicked, immediately racking her brain for something she could have done that would force Hannah to leave, she feels stupid that she didn’t realize that Hannah’s transfer idea came from her trying to protect herself.

 

Syd’s right, Alex knows she’s right; she can’t fall down that path again; Hannah screwed her over once and she can’t let that happen again. She’s pretty sure that she’s learnt from her mistakes this time and whilst she’s not at the point where she could ever truly forgive Hannah from stealing the one thing that she had complete control over, she hates even more than she never got time to truly grieve their relationship and think about it and she despises the fact that _now_ is the time that she chooses to think through the trainwreck after last year’s quarterfinal.

 

“You ready?” Julie shouts through the door.

 

Alex frowns momentarily before standing up, grabbing her phone and jacket and walking to the door; pulling it open with a smile on her face.

 

“More than ready.”

 

Julie links her arm through Alex’s as they head down to the lobby to join up with their teammates, not knowing why they’re letting Kling drive the bus because she’s a terrible driver.

 

 

Alex feeds Julie an excuse once they’ve arrived at the stadium, telling Julie to save her a seat as she disappears through the stadium, she knows she’s not supposed to be back here but the lack of security at the stadium isn’t as shocking as Alex thinks it should be and she’s walking through the tunnel casually until she hears familiar voices. She leans against the door leading into one of the locker rooms and smiles at some of her old teammates who haven’t even noticed she’s here yet. Alex crosses her arms over chest when she hears a familiar shout.

 

“Hey traitor!”

 

“Alex!”

 

“Dude!”

 

In the space of a few seconds; Alex is being pulled into the locker room and in the middle of a huge group hug, Alex thinks she’s going to run out of air by the time her former teammates release her and she’s able to hug some of her teammates properly and still keep the ability to breathe. Alex is talking to her old roommates when she feels two arms wrap around her shoulders from behind and she doesn’t even need to guess at who the person is, she keeps the conversation going, listening to everything she’s missed over the last year but she’s scanning the locker room trying to find Hannah.

 

“Sorry guys, I need to steal her.” Hope smiles before shooing away her teammates and pulling Alex out of the locker room, both standing on either side of the door. “I need answers.”

 

“I told you everything last night.” Alex grumbles, though she feels her heart rate slowly start to speed up.

 

“Cut the bullshit; it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that you came here for looking for Hannah.” Hope’s voice cuts like ice and Alex frowns realizing she hasn’t got a chance of lying. “I love you but I can’t let you do this _again_.” Hope sighs, pulling at her ponytail.

 

“I’m not doing anything; I just came to see my old friends.” Alex shrugs. “Since when was there a rule against that?”

 

“Alex?”

 

Alex spins around and smiles slightly when Hannah approaches them, looking wary as she looks between both Alex and Hope who is glaring; clearly their relationship hasn’t improved; that’s what Alex picks up on at least.

 

Alex turns around and watches as Hope’s jaw relaxes ever so slightly so she turns back around and walks closer to Hannah, wrapping her hand around her ex’s bicep, smiling.

 

“I just came by to see you guys before the game.” Alex says loud enough to appease Hope’s frustration before leaning up on her tiptoes and whispering in Hannah’s ear. “I need to talk to you, later though.”

 

Alex is around the corner before she has time to gauge Hannah’s reaction; her heart is beating a little faster than normal as she makes her way back around to the stands and slips into the empty seat beside Julie, putting her feet up on the bench in front.

 

“Where have you been?” Julie asks, nudging Alex’s shoulder. “I was about to send a search party for you.”

 

“You mean Syd and Moe.” Alex corrects with a grin as she steals the bottle of water from Julie’s hand and twists the lid. “I just got a little distracted, no big deal.”

 

“I know this game isn’t going to be easy for you.” Julie sympathizes causing Alex to shrug.

 

“Yeah sure, let’s go with that.” She mumbles although her words are barely audible.

 

~

 

The team makes bets on who they’re going to face in the final, ignoring the fact that they themselves have to beat Duke first; it’s an _almost_ clean sweep for Florida before everyone makes up random bets on who’s going to get sent off. Alex slouches and turns her head to the side, smiling when she sees Kelley looking at her, Kelley smiles back and Alex closes her eyes, suddenly finding it a little harder to breathe in and out.

 

The teams take the field and Alex twists her body so she can lie against Julie, her arm linked through the blonde’s.

 

Alex doesn’t know who she would rather face in the final (providing they win tomorrow); getting Cal in the final and beating them would give Alex a huge sense of satisfaction that she doesn’t think she’s able to imagine, although she does imagine it will be like standing there and saying a huge fuck you to everybody who made her time there uncomfortable – especially knowing she would have won it with a team that she has only known a matter of months but who have made her feel at home, and loved and cared about in such a short time over the people who _liked_ her but didn’t make Cal feel like home for three years.

 

“You okay?” Julie asks when she notices just how hard Alex is holding onto her arm.

 

 

Alex loosens her grip a little before nodding, unable to fight the smile threatening to break out on her lips. “Never better.”

 

The game is fast paced from the off; three shots in the first five minutes from both teams that test the keepers is just the tip of the iceberg on how this game is going to go.

 

Alex didn’t have the best relationship off the field with her teammates but when they were on the field and it clicked, it was singlehandedly the best thing about Alex being at Cal; when it worked, she was unstoppable, scoring for fun. That’s what she misses most if she had to pinpoint a time where college didn’t make her feel so left out, it was during their seven match winning streak when they were scoring three and four goals a game, when Alex didn’t feel completely weighd down by the pressures of her teammates, when scoring and playing became easy and didn’t feel like a chore anymore.

 

The first goal of the game goes to Florida in the twelfth minute, it’s a corner kick from the right that manages to evade everyone but the defender at the back post who heads it back across goal for the Florida number fourteen to slot in past Hope’s fingertips.

 

Alex frowns when the goal goes in, gauging Hope’s reaction when she slams her hand into the post before putting her hands behind her head as she tries to regain her composure before the game kicks off again. Alex takes a sip of water before turning her head and looking at the row behind her, most of the girls are watching the game but Kelley is focused on Alex before she gestures for Alex to come over to her. Alex gets up and walks around the stand until she’s sitting beside Kelley who has slid further away from where she was sat next to Christen.

 

“What’s up?” Alex asks as she nudges Kelley’s arm.

 

“Nothing.” Kelley chuckles softly. “I just haven’t seen you all day, I wanted to hang out.”

 

“You wanted to talk shit about Hannah and Cal to try and annoy me.” Alex tells her, rolling her eyes for effect.

 

Kelley wraps her hands around Alex’s arm and leans against her. “You know me so well.”

 

“Trust me-” Alex teases “- it’s a curse.”

 

Florida shout for a penalty kick in the nineteenth minute that’s initially waved away by the referee before he changes his mind and gives it; the Cal players surround the referee, up in arms, berating the decision; Hope is furious as she storms back towards her goal, she grabs her bottle of water and takes her time as she readies herself to face the penalty; the fans start to get restless and the Florida captain lining up to take the penalty kick calls Hope out to the referee.

 

Hope eventually gets into her goal and the whistle is blown for the penalty; the Florida captain steps up and buries it into the bottom right corner of the goal. Alex doesn’t react; she just crosses her legs and starts playing with the zipper on her jacket.

 

Kelley reaches out, it’s still so normal, she takes hold of Alex’s hand, their fingers intertwining the way they always do, Kelley’s thumb grazes over Alex’s knuckles. Neither of them say a word, they just turn their attention back to the game, their hands resting in-between them, it’s comforting in a way that a safety blanket is for a child; Kelley still has hers; it’s green and has a worn-out stitched Tyrannosaurus Rex on it from when she was going through her dinosaur phase when she was three or four.

 

Kelley took that blanket everywhere, she dragged it through puddles, played with it in mud, she left it at the beach and the park a number of times but she always found it again. The blanket was there when she was sleeping, whether she was wrapped in it when she was napping or balling it up and throwing it at Jerry when he annoyed her, the blanket was always there, even when she got older and Alex gives Kelley that same feeling of safe, Kelley knows that Alex isn’t ever going to completely abandon her, they might clash, they might have their own issues that they’re working through on their own pace but Kelley knows she could call Alex in the middle of the night just wanting to talk and Alex would stay up until the sun came up talking to her about whatever came to mind. Kelley can count on Alex for most things, and it’s more than reassuring for her during this time; when she’s still struggling, when things with her family just continue to fall apart; Alex is always there, she’s _always_ been there.

 

“She didn’t deserve you.” Kelley mutters under her breath when Hannah body checks a defender.

 

Alex pretends not to have heard her but she squeezes Kelley’s hand not a second later before shuffling and resting her head against Kelley’s shoulder.

 

 

The first half ends with Cal going into the locker rooms facing a tough ask to claw back a two goal deficit. Alex knows what the locker room is going to be like; it’s going to be somber, there’s going to be some accusations thrown about amongst the most short-tempered of her teammates; Hope would be sitting on the floor, legs stretched out in front of her as she bandages her fingers. Hannah would be pacing, arms out in front of her as she tries to get herself into a better mindset and the coach will be giving them a story about how when they were in college they were faced with a tough task of coming back from two goals down to win, citing to the girls that they could do it too because _all it takes is one goal_. Alex remembers her place, depending on how badly she berated herself she would either be curled up in her cubby with her head in her hands or sitting out in the hallway for three precise minutes, the first minute she would probably cry to get over her high emotions, the second minute she would breathe in and out deeply and the third minute she would try and give herself a pep talk to get herself into the mindset she needed to be in the for the second half.

 

It was the same story every time Cal walked into the locker room losing at halftime, it never really changed, sometimes it worked and sometimes it completely failed; it just depended on the game that was getting played.  

 

“Do you miss it?” Cheney asks turning around and facing Alex, Tobin turning around with her.

 

“Miss what?” Alex asks her, furrowing her eyebrows until she realizes. “- Oh, sometimes I miss them but I wasn’t half as happy there as I am here.”

 

“Oh my god – you love us!” Emily and Moe shout over Alex, jumping up and rushing over, wrapping their arms around Alex from behind.

 

Alex starts laughing as Emily and Morgan gush about how much they love her. Tobin holds her hand out for Alex to slap it and Alex feels light, there isn’t a weight on her shoulders for the first time in a few days; she’s laughing and she’s not plastering a fake smile on her face to appease her friends to avoid them asking questions.

 

 

The second half starts and Cal go into the second half knowing they need to score the first goal and they need to score it quickly if they’re to give themselves a proper chance to make it through to the final. It’s three minutes into the second half when that goal comes; it’s a freshman that Alex doesn’t know who scores the goal but suddenly there’s a renewed sense of hope around her former team.

 

After that, the game is completely in Berkeley’s hands, they keep knocking on the door looking for the equalizer but the Florida keeper is just as up to the task, palming away long distance shots, pulling off incredible saves and making life incredibly difficult for the Berkeley players. Kelley knows Alex is fighting an inner battle with herself because of the way she’s holding on tightly to Kelley’s hand.

 

“Who do you think would win in a fight between an alligator and a bear?”

 

“I’m sorry?” Alex turns her head to face Kelley.

 

“An alligator and a bear; who would win?” Kelley repeats, her voice is slower this time so Alex  can catch the words fully.

 

“On a scale of one to ten-” Alex has an amused smile on her face as she speaks “- how bored are you?”

 

“A twelve.” Kelley answers but dismisses the question with a wave of her hand. “Seriously, who would win?”

 

“A bear.” Alex answers immediately, not thinking it through, out of the corner of her eye she’s concentrated on the corner kick that Cal have over the far left side. She’s concentrating on the game again when she starts thinking. “Or, where would the fight take place because that’s important, if it’s fought in water then the alligator would probably have an advantage-”

 

Alex stops when she glances over at Kelley who is trying hard to fight back a smile.

 

It’s the whistle from down on the field that captures both of their attention, whipping their heads back down to the game; it’s the referee pointing to the penalty spot and Hannah spinning the ball in her hand that Alex notices immediately.

 

_She was their penalty taker._

 

“Miss it!” Tobin cups her hands around her mouth and yells out, earning a jab to the ribs from Amy.

 

Alex pulls her hood up and curls into Kelley’s side, lying sideways as she lifts her legs up to rest on the stand; she has a clear view of Hannah stood with her hands on her hips ready to take the penalty kick. The whistle blows and Hannah steps up and despite the keeper getting her hand to the ball, she scores.

 

Tobin leans back and looks over at Alex who just smiles nervously in response; she avoids Tobin’s eyes for the most part.

 

“Ten bucks says Cal blows it in the last minute.” Tobin bets, holding her hand out towards Kelley who is never and has never been one to turn down the chance to take money from Tobin.

 

“Make it twenty and I’m your girl.” Kelley grins.

 

The game ticks towards the final minutes of the game, both teams still pushing hard for that all important winner. Kelley and Tobin are talking shit, neither willing to give up their money that easily; Kelley’s screaming for a Florida winner before the clock ticks into the final minute of the game.

 

There’s two minutes of regulation time left when Florida score what seems like it’s going to be the winning goal which causes an argument between Kelley and Tobin because they don’t know _exactly_ when the goal was scored and Tobin holds the money in her hand as far away from Kelley as she possibly can. Alex slips away from the stand during the arguing, not that anybody notices because most of her teammates are on their phones or engrossed in their own conversations so Alex finds it easy to disappear away from the game and find a quiet spot to sit down.

 

It starts to rain just as Alex sits on the ground, her arms wrapped around her knees as she tries to steady her breathing; she feels relieved, she’s sure she does because deep down she knows she didn’t want to run the chance of playing her former team in the final; the game would too emotional for her and she’s certain she wouldn’t be able to play to the best of her ability; not like this, not when she’s finally coming to terms with how she left, how bad she truly feels about leaving without a word, how she didn’t get the closure that she craved and how months later she was finding out about what truly went down.

 

Alex feels another body sit down next to her, she can see it’s Syd out of the corner of her eye but neither of them say anything, Syd just links her arm through Alex’s and lets Alex sit there and try to catch her breath. Alex’s hands are shaking as she balls up Syd’s jacket in her fist and her bottom lips starting to quiver but she tries to keep her composure.

 

“… They lost.” Syd says after what feels like a million years, exaggerating for sure.

 

“That could’ve been me out there.” Alex laughs bitterly.

 

“But now you’re here, playing for a better team with us, your favorite people in the world.” Syd reminds her.

 

Alex smiles and nods. “I can’t argue with those facts.”

 

~

 

“Hey, I’m going to hang out in Cheney’s room.” Amy says softly, crossing the room and tapping Alex on the shoulder from where she’s lying in bed. “You going to nap?”

 

“Yeah-” Alex yawns. “Ask Tobin if she’s still mad about being twelve seconds away from twenty bucks.”

 

Amy laughs and nods as she stands up straight, reaching for her phone on the bedside table. “You got it, Al but I’m pretty sure we both know the answer to that.”

 

Amy leaves the room and Alex does actually nap for around an hour, not realizing just how tired she actually was. It’s nearly eight when she wakes up and Amy’s still not back; sitting up, the comforter falls down to Alex’s waist as she reaches for her phone; pulling it off charge and scrolling through her notifications – most of which are from her family’s group chat but at least she now knows that her Aunt’s dog peed on her cousin’s boyfriend who nobody liked – there’s never a dull day in the Morgan family.

 

 

She’s an idiot, she knows she’s an idiot, she already told Syd that Hannah wasn’t in her head, that she wasn’t going to fall back into the trap and make another mistake but she needs closure more than anything; she has a thousand questions running through her head and for once she just wants to sit down and have them answered without them at each other’s throats, without the shouting, without the underlying bitterness in their tones as they try to protect themselves.

 

All that changes when the door swings open and Alex barely even remembers why she’s there in the first place; Hannah’s leaning against the door frame with a look of such surprise that she’s frozen to the spot and Alex almost regrets turning up here.

 

Suddenly all the questions that were on the tip of her tongue, the questions she’s needed answers to for months are the last thing on her mind and she knows she playing a dangerous game but when she wraps her hand around Hannah’s neck and pulls her down so their lips meet, she doesn’t give a single damn about how big of a mistake this could be because it’s a year ago, they aren’t messy and dealing with the outcome of a bad, drunken decision that hurt Alex more than she could ever put into words; they’re them and Alex hates that this feels right, it doesn’t feel totally right but for the moment it’s everything she needs.

 

“What?” Hannah chokes out when Alex leans back, rocking back and forth on her heels. “Alex, I don’t get-”

 

“You know our problems started when we talked.” Alex interrupts, cocking her left eyebrow as she crosses her arms over her chest.

 

“Okay, no talking then.” Hannah shrugs as she pulls Alex by the hand into her room.

 

Hannah kicks the door shut before flipping herself and Alex and pinning Alex against the door, connecting their lips again.


	26. oh, that's a line, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're finally in the home stretch of this fic guys + i'm so sad ((also there’s one final little piece of drama left which makes me happy and sad again because I love drama lol)) anyway here's hoping it's completed before 2019 lmao

“Wait, wait, stop.” Alex pushes her hand against Hannah’s chest, breaking the kiss and causing Hannah to stumble as she leans back, watching Alex’s face fall. “This isn’t even why I’m here.”

 

“I figured it was too good to be true; so what, feeling guilty over Kelsey?”

 

“ _Kelley_.” Alex corrects, frowning as Hannah shifts and moves, sitting at the far end of the bed. “I wanted answers.”

 

“Oh I’m sorry.” Hannah narrows her eyes as she turns to face Alex. “You wanted to ask me stuff? Excuse me for not realizing when you kissed me first.”

 

Alex grits her teeth. “You know, I was right, our problems always started when we talked.” Alex pushes herself up off the bed, already regretting turning up here, she’s always hated how weak she was when it came to people who didn’t deserve the time of day from her. “This was a mistake, _obviously_.”

 

Alex sits on the opposite bed, tucking her legs underneath her as she thinks; she tries to formulate what she wants to say in a way that won’t kick start an immediate argument.

 

“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if _that_ didn’t happen?”

 

The question hangs in the air for a moment and the silence is almost deafening, it’s uncomfortable and Alex’s shoulders tense every time Hannah shuffles around. Alex opens her mouth to add something else when Hannah speaks up.

 

“A lot. Do you?”

 

“Sometimes.” Alex shrugs. “I used to think about it all the time. I figured it was because I was still upset so you were constantly on my mind but the more I started to think about it – I realized it was because I had so many unanswered questions.” Alex looks like she’s about to say something else when she decides against it and stands up.

 

Alex is just about to walk past Hannah when Hannah’s hand wrapping around her wrist stops her. Alex stops dead, still staring at the door but when Hannah’s grip on her wrist doesn’t loosen; Alex sighs and backs up and stares at her, waiting for whatever bullshit she’s going to say next. Hannah hesitates upon talking and Alex is about to give up and leave for good this time when Hannah finally speaks.

 

“There was more.”

 

“More of what?” Alex asks, though she’s hesitant because of the way Hannah’s head drops; it’s then that Alex realizes what she’s referring to. “What else did you do?” Alex asks, feeling her heart rate start to accelerate as her bottom lip quivers.

 

“That night, the night I told Jeri about us; Hope and I had gone out together, she came to try and stick up for you like she usually did but I was still mad and I’d had enough of her bullshit so I disappeared for a while and – you know how she hates me? _Really_ hates me? She found me a while later and there was another girl-”

 

“I can’t hear this!” Alex yelps, bringing her hands up to the back of her neck as she starts pacing the room. “You are _not_ about to tell me – wait – is that why you told Jeri?!” Alex shouts “because you we’re so fucking scared that Hope was going to tell me about the other girl so you needed a distraction?!”

 

Alex continues pacing, laughing bitterly the more she thinks about it, the pieces of the puzzle starting to fit together; Alex didn’t tell Hope about her family finding out until a few days after it had happened but Hope had seemed furious at Hannah since that weekend but Hope didn’t know anything about Hannah outing Alex until Alex told her. Alex slides down the wall, wrapping her arms around her knees as she stares straight ahead at the wall in front of her.

 

“You outed me to my parents because you got caught kissing another girl, fuck Hannah, even Kelley isn’t that bad.”

 

“Kelley?” Hannah repeats causing Alex to look up.

 

“That’s not important. Oh my god.” Alex mumbles, her mind is racing and she feels like she’s going to throw up if she hears another word. “You would have done anything to protect yourself, what kind of fucking person does that?!” Alex’s words cut like ice through the room. “- Don’t even get me started on the disappearing act you pulled, at least have the fucking audacity to own up, I was so mad at myself, I thought it was because you thought I didn’t love you!” Alex jumps to her feet again, continuing to pace the room. “Do you even know how guilty I felt when I had _nothing, nothing_ to feel guilty of?”

 

“I know it sounds bad-”

 

“Understatement of the fucking century.” Alex shoots out, glaring at Hannah who is yet to move an inch from the bed. “You know what, you continue to surprise me; just when I think you can’t hurt me anymore – you tell me this.” Alex smiles, pressing her tongue to the roof of her mouth as she leans against the wall. “I’m done, I can’t hear anymore of this.” Alex holds her hands up as she makes her way towards the door again.

 

This time Hannah doesn’t stop her and the door slams shut behind Alex.

 

 

Alex is shaking as she returns to the hotel; her hands are balled into fists and she’s fighting back the tears in the corners of her eyes as she heads back towards her room, her hood pulled up over her head in case any of her teammates are walking around; she stops and looks across the hallway at her room before turning around and knocking on the door she’s standing in front of. She knocks quietly at first but when she doesn’t get a response; she knocks louder, realizing that she’s probably going to have to face Christen but at this point – she’s not angry at her anymore, she can deal with the sarcastic comments that are going to come her way.

 

The door swings open and Kelley’s rubbing her eyes before she realizes it’s Alex at the door.

 

“If you promise not to ask questions can I come in?” Alex asks her, looking anywhere but Kelley’s eyes.

 

Kelley steps aside, her eyes never leaving Alex as Alex walks into the room; pulling her sleeves over her hands as she stands in the middle of the room.

 

“Where’s-?”

 

“Julie’s room.” Kelley interjects and Alex nods. “I know you said no questions but-”

 

Kelley doesn’t get a chance to finish her question because Alex is pulling her hood down and Kelley gasps quietly when she sees the red rings around Alex’s eyes and how puffy they are, she can see how tearstained her cheeks are and how red her lips are from where Alex has bitten down on them to try and stop herself from crying. Kelley crosses the room in two steps, slipping her hand into Alex’s and pulling her to sit down on her bed with her. Alex keeps her eyes trained forward but Kelley’s got a hand on her back as she waits until Alex is able to start talking.

 

“I kissed Hannah, again, we made out for a little bit.” Alex admits; the words make her feel numb and she barely reacts when she feels Kelley tense up behind her.

 

Kelley doesn’t say anything but Alex can hear how her breathing becomes heavier than it was; they’re silent for a few minutes as Kelley lets the information sink in.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Not okay.” Alex argues, finally turning around to face Kelley, tucking her legs underneath her as she stares at Kelley. “I was right all along, I mean, my subconscious was right; she was protecting herself the whole time. The night that she outed me to Jeri-” Alex starts laughing again, figuring if she laughs she won’t cry. “- She wasn’t going to do it, she only did it as a distraction from Hope finding her kissing another girl.” Alex shakes her head in disbelief. “A fucking distraction, _sure_ , take away the one thing in my life that I had complete control over at that point because she was scared, _she was scared_. Un-fucking-believable.”

 

Kelley doesn’t react and Alex falls quiet, the silence is the room quickly becomes tense and Alex thinks she’s made a mistake telling Kelley what happened because it instantly brings them both back to Georgia and there are still a lot of unresolved feelings and outcomes from the wedding.

 

“Say something.” Alex pleads; her voice barely above a whisper as she tilts her head to the side to look at Kelley.

 

“I wish Cal had won so I could kick her sorry ass.” Kelley says which causes Alex to laugh a little.

 

Kelley smiles but it quickly fades when she notices that Alex is crying. Reaching forward, Kelley wraps her hand around Alex’s bicep and pulls her into her arms, wrapping her arms around Alex and holding her as tightly as she possibly can whilst Alex cries softly into the material of her sweatshirt.

 

“Are you mad?” Alex asks after a while. “At me?” She adds, though she’s got her bottom lip tugged between her teeth as she waits for Kelley to answer.

 

“Not at you.” Kelley reassures her. “I’m not happy but I can’t say anything about kissing an ex.” Kelley sighs, though the regret is clear in her voice. “Hold on.” Kelley reaches for her phone on the bedside table and unlocks it, Alex can’t get a clear look of what she’s doing until she’s finished and locked her phone again. “I just text Arod and told her you’re here, okay?”

 

Alex is too tired to argue; she figures she’s going to have to face Christen later but she’ll deal with that when it comes to it.

 

~

 

Alex barely sleeps over the next hour or two; she just has the guilt-ridden look on Hannah’s face going through her head over and over again and the more she tries not to think about it, the more she does and the more she feels herself wanting to puke. Alex wakes up and the room is empty which she’s somewhat grateful for, she sits up, dragging her hand through her hair as she pulls it up into a ponytail. It takes her a few minutes to remember that in a couple of hours it’s their semifinal against Duke – it’s not Alex’s ideal buildup.

 

Kelley returns to the room, she looks nervous but she doesn’t mention it; she just hands a cup of coffee to Alex wordlessly and sits beside her on the bed.

 

“How do you feel?” Kelley asks her.

 

“Stupid.” Alex chokes out, the warmth radiating from the cup to her hands. “I don’t know why I went there expecting closure, I’m stupid for being so weak and I’m an idiot for not realizing there was more to the story than she told me – so, I’m feeling pretty good. Where’s-?” Alex nods towards the still empty, made bed across the room.

 

“I don’t know; I haven’t seen her for a few hours.” Kelley interjects. “It’s probably for the best; she’s been smothering me for the last few weeks.” Kelley pulls a face as she speaks. “I love her but our friendship needs boundaries.”

 

There’s a knock at the door which causes Kelley to roll her eyes before she’s off the bed and shuffling across the room to open it; Kelley doesn’t stand a chance when Julie and Syd come rushing into the room, running over to the bed and crowding Alex.

 

“Is it true?” Syd asks, disbelief is evident on her face.

 

“Is what true?” Alex asks warily, looking past the pair of them to Kelley who is still standing by the door, shrugging.

 

“That you went to see Hannah before, I thought you said the bar was a mistake?” Julie is hopping from foot to foot as Alex stares at the both of them, eyes wide before she’s scowling.

 

“Where did you even here that? I’ve been here since I got back?”

 

“Christen.” Syd and Julie answer in unison.

 

“Of course.” Alex leans forward placing her cup on the table before pushing past the both of them, shaking her head as she walks out of the room; Kelley immediately following her, grabbing hold of Alex’s hand but Alex is furious and she’s stronger than Kelley, pulling her hand out of hers and heading for the stairs; running down them at full speed.

 

It takes her longer to find Christen than she thought it would but she eventually finds her and a few more of their teammates hanging out in one of the lounges. Alex walks and stops in front of Christen with her arms folded across her chest.

 

“What the fuck did you tell them?” She growls; watching as Christen just puts her cup of coffee down on the table, a smug smile on her face as she does.

 

“I’m sorry-” she plasters an overly fake smile on her face “- was I not supposed to tell them that you and Hannah are back together, congratulations.”

 

“I fucking – we’re not back together.” Alex grumbles.

 

“That’s not what I heard; here’s a tip, don’t mumble when you speak it makes it _so_ hard to hear through the door.” Christen’s smile drops and she’s wearing a similar expression to Alex’s.

 

“Fuck you, Press.” Alex spits out. “I’m sick of you, I’m sick of the sly comments; I’m done with you making me out to be the bad guy no matter what I do. I don’t know what the fuck I did to _offend_ you but I’m done with this.” Alex gestures to the both of them.

 

Christen swings back before slapping Alex. Alex stumbles before bringing her hand up and pressing her palm against her cheek as she stares at Christen.

 

“Alex! Christen!”

 

Christen and Alex whip their heads around; watching as three of their coaches appeared at the door to the lounge; arms folded across their chest as they stare at the pair of them. Alex still has her hand pressed against her cheek and Christen has a fearful look in her eyes.

 

“Out here, now.”

 

Christen and Alex look at each other; Alex scowling as she drops her hand from her cheek as Christen rolls her eyes but the two of them walk out of the room; well aware that some of their teammates have their eyes glued to them.

 

It’s no surprise when the both of them are relegated down to the bench for the semi final against Duke. Christen is furious, trying to plead her case, that she lost control for a second and she didn’t mean it but Alex knew it was coming and she just leaves when she’s dismissed. Julie, Syd and Kelley are waiting near the door, they look nervous but Kelley’s the first to grab Alex; pulling her beside her and lifting her own hand to press against the obvious red mark on her cheek; Alex flinches but Kelley doesn’t pull her hand away.

 

“I really hope she doesn’t hear this because her ego does _not_ need to grow any bigger but she’s got one hell of a slap.” Alex tries to break the tension by joking but her words catch in her throat and come out choked.

 

“Come here.” Kelley coos, wrapping her arms around Alex’s shoulders and bringing her into a hug. “For the record; you’re not the first person she’s slapped in a fit of rage.” Kelley tells her before letting Alex go.

 

“Forget that.” Alex grumbles leaning against the back of the couch and crossing her arms over her chest.

 

“Kell, can I talk to you?” Christen appears behind Kelley; she refuses to look at Alex which just causes Alex to roll her eyes.

 

“I’m busy.” Kelley mutters in response.

 

Christen stays for another few seconds before she just sighs and walks across the room to Julie. Alex glances up to Kelley and opens her mouth ready to ask but Kelley beats her to it.

 

“- There’s a line and she crossed it.” Kelley reaches forward and slips her hand into Alex’s, intertwining their fingers.

 

 

They still have just over an hour before they leave for the stadium and there’s only so many times that Alex can scroll through her social media before she loses the will to live.

 

“You know what we haven’t done for a while?” Kelley asks, jumping onto the bed beside Alex.

 

Alex hums as she drops her phone from in front of her face and glances over at Kelley. “I can think of some things but I’m sure they’re not what you’re thinking.”

 

“I meant coffee, dumbass.” Kelley laughs as she pokes the back of Alex’s phone, knocking it out of her hand. “I’m open to whatever you’re thinking though.” Kelley winks as she reaches down the side of the bed for her shoes.

 

“I’m down.” Alex shrugs, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as she stands up and pockets her phone.  “Coffee first though.”

 

“Good idea.” Kelley agrees as she heads towards the door, Alex trailing behind her.

 

One of Kelley’s ultimate favorite things to do in life is do whatever she can to annoy Alex; as they’re walking to the coffee shop that Syd and Alex were in the other day, Kelley is grabbing hold of Alex’s hands, spinning her around, circling her, poking her in the ribs, telling her the _worst_ jokes she can think of, using lame pick-up lines on her that have Alex equally blushing and laughing until her stomach hurts. Kelley holds the door to the coffee shop open for Alex, bowing when Alex enters causing Alex to roll her eyes at Kelley.

 

“You remembered?” Alex narrows her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest as Kelley recites her coffee order word for word.

 

“We’ve been broken up for a couple of weeks not a couple of years, Lex.” Kelley grins before rolling her eyes. “Too soon?” Kelley adds, unable to fight the smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

 

Alex lets her hand fall onto Kelley’s shoulder. “I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just ask me that.” She murmurs, but still she has a smile forcing its way onto her lips.

 

Kelley hooks her foot around Alex’s ankle when they’re sitting at a table with their drinks.

 

“How’s your knee?” Alex asks, noticing that Kelley has her mouth open and is just about to say something.

 

“It’s okay.” Kelley shrugs. “It only hurts when I don’t move it for a while.”

 

Alex nods, wrapping her hand around her cup. “So stiff?”

 

“Pretty much.” Kelley replies, frowning slightly as she leans forward, her elbows sliding along the table. “How’s your cheek?” Kelley asks, reaching across the table to let her thumb drag across Alex’s cheek where Christen slapped her.

 

“It’s fine.” Alex mumbles under her breath, Kelley’s thumb doesn’t move from her cheek for a few seconds and they both hold each other’s gaze. “I should have seen it coming; she’s wanted to slap me since Thanksgiving.”

 

Kelley’s thumb brushes against Alex’s cheekbone once more before she drops her hand, wrapping it around her coffee instead.

 

“That doesn’t give her an excuse.”

 

“I wasn’t excusing her.” Alex argues. “I was just saying that I should have expected her to react like that. Can we please change the subject now?”

 

“What are you doing for Christmas?” Kelley asks, glancing over the top of her cup at Alex.

 

“Spending it with my family, mostly with Jeri before she goes to Madrid in January – that’s going to suck big time, I’ll miss her so much.”

 

“We should go to Madrid, or Barcelona.” Kelley muses and for a second, Alex thinks that she hasn’t realized she’s said the words aloud until she’s staring at Alex waiting for a response.

 

“ _Oh_ , you’re serious.” Alex laughs, hiding her face behind her coffee as she forces herself to hold Kelley’s gaze.

 

“I _am_ serious.” Kelley promises.

 

Whether it’s the seriousness of Kelley’s voice or the way she hasn’t broken eye contact with Alex since she mentioned Barcelona and Madrid, Alex can’t help the heavy feeling that settles in the pit of her stomach. It shouldn’t be like this, she shouldn’t want to grab her phone and look up flights to Barcelona and go on vacation with Kelley when everything is still up in the air. Nothing has changed between them, but still, the pull that Kelley has on Alex when she mentions even the most random of things, it pulls Alex back in to a place where everything between them didn’t fall apart.

 

Kelley notices it too, she notices the way Alex is thinking hard, she has subtle hints that show Kelley just how hard the cranks are turning in her brain.

 

“You’re going to sit next to me on the bench, right?”

 

“What?” Alex coughs, furrowing her eyebrows at Kelley’s question, the subject change coming out of nowhere. “Yeah, you know I will.”

 

~

 

Alex hates this. She hates how she’s being punished for something that Christen did, sure, she probably could’ve rephrased half of what she said to Christen this morning better but Christen is still the one who slapped her so she’s the one who shouldn’t be playing, not both of them. The locker room is tense before the game, a mix of game nerves and the underlying tension that seems to follow Alex, Kelley and Christen wherever they go lately.

 

“So-”

 

“- Nobody’s going to mention how hard a slap Christen has?”

 

Allie and Syd draw their words out slowly, the music in the locker room still being played as background noise, barely loud enough to coherently follow along to the lyrics. Most of the team ignore the conversation, not letting getting involved in drama put them off their pregame routines. Alex’s cheek is still a little red when Julie pokes her in the cheek.

 

“We’re not talking about this – guys.” Becky pinches the bridge of her nose. “We have a semi final in seven minutes, we’re not getting involved in drama that doesn’t involve all of us, our focus should be on going out there and beating Duke in their own backyard!”

 

It works, in a way.

 

Alex hangs back in the locker room when the team head out to line up; she’s leaning against the doorframe as Christen packs something into her bag, Alex crosses her arms over her chest and stares at Christen until she looks up with a scowl set firmly on her face.

 

“Just say it, already.” Christen grumbles, zipping up her bag and standing up straight.

 

“You fucking slapped me.” Alex deadpans. “I’ll be honest; I’ve wanted to slap you a few times these last few weeks but – fuck – why?”

 

“I don’t know.” Christen’s voice is smaller this time, quieter and it completely catches Alex off-guard. “I didn’t – I just-” Christen stumbles over her words, trying to gesture what she wants to say with her hands.

 

Before Christen can actually formulate her response, Kelley slides up beside Alex, her hand on the small of Alex’s back, Christen turns away in a huff and the conversation simmers away to nothing and Alex tries to hide her frustration at knowing she was so close to (maybe) repairing how broken her friendship with Christen has become.

 

“Ready?” Kelley asks Alex.

 

Alex takes one last look at Christen who still has her back to them.

 

“Yeah, sure.” Alex smiles before she follows Kelley out of the locker room.

 

Her cleats hitting the floor cause a pounding in Alex’s head that is louder than any amount of screaming in the dead of the night could be. Christen’s wavering replays in the back of her head, something about it had Alex so lost in thought she doesn’t register walking into the wall, cursing out as she rubs the side of her head, ignoring Kelley’s raised eyebrows and walking ahead. Kelley jogs to catch up with her but doesn’t manage to catch Alex before she’s already sitting down at the end of the bench, though there is a space between her and Morgan left specifically for Kelley.

 

“What happened between you two?” Kelley doesn’t try to keep her voice at a low register at all and Christen’s eyes meet Alex’s as she walks past.

 

“Can’t two people just talk?” Alex shoots back, raising one eyebrow as she waits for Kelley to mull over the question.

 

“The only way you and Chris are going to talk is when a ref is around.”

 

Alex fights back a smile as she points out to the field. “We are _at_ a soccer game. We didn’t talk; we just glared at each other, happy?”

 

Kelley isn’t but she lets it drop when the national anthem plays and the game kicks off.

 

Alex tries to be supportive but in the back of her mind she knows that she could if not should be out on the field, she has a half decent record against teams from across the country and if it wasn’t for _her_ being slapped she could be partnering Syd or Amy.

 

The game is tentative and mostly being played in the midfield where instead of free-flowing soccer it’s a lot cagier and neither team can string more than three passes together before possession is stolen by the other side. Alex tries to stifle her laughter at Kelley’s screams, she knows that Kelley is vocal ( _literally_ ) but the way she jumps up at every challenge, loss of possession and the occasional run towards Duke’s penalty area is more than just a little amusing.

 

“I know you’re laughing.” Kelley grumbles as she falls back onto the bench and swings her legs over Alex’s.

 

“I think it’s endearing.” Alex whistles lowly, tilting her head to the side and blowing a kiss to Kelley.

 

“No you don’t.” Kelley scowls, slapping her hand away before grabbing it again and lacing her fingers through Alex’s.

 

“You’re right, I don’t. You have to admit it’s a little funny though.”

 

The game continues in a similar fashion until Sam puts a through ball towards Amy on the edge of the penalty area, the pass alluding a Duke midfielder and defender as Amy takes the ball and skips past the half-assed attempt of a tackle before shooting and only able to stand and watch as the ball rattles off the joining corner of the post and crossbar and going out of bounds.

 

The breakthrough comes midway through the first half; it’s a corner from the right that Tobin swings in and it’s Emily’s header at the near post that narrowly beats the diving Duke keeper and hits the back of the net. Kelley jumps up and gets Alex’s foot to the back of her knee.

 

“You’re going to make it worse.” Alex sing-songs in a way that Kelley chooses to sound a lot more patronizing than it probably is.

 

It’s the goofy grin that Kelley shoots her in return that causes Alex to stumble over her next words, it’s a feeling she hasn’t registered since before they started dating. It’s Kelley throwing herself back down beside Alex and repeatedly hitting Alex’s shoulder until she looks at her that has Alex resisting the urge to roll her eyes but not missing the unfamiliar yet so familiar tightness in her chest as she tries to keep her attention solely focused on the game, yelling for Emily when she runs back past their bench. When Alex was seven, she had her first crush, it was on the girl who lived next door and she was two years older, braces and two braids in her hair with a purple and blue hair tie. She was always nice to Alex, saying hey when they passed each other, sharing candy and playing in the park near their house if they were ever there at the same time. Alex liked her more than she liked any of her other friends and it wasn’t until her family moved to Seattle that she figured out why she liked her more than the others.

 

Alex first properly dated a girl in high school, she was sixteen and dating a girl from her English class. Alex liked her a lot, she was pretty, funny and always held her hand when they were outside and she didn’t give a damn about what anybody else thought. Overall, she was comfortable for Alex, especially for a first _serious_ relationship, sure, at certain times it felt as though they were just still friends who made out in their bedrooms but Alex liked it. She liked it until her friends all gushed about the guys they liked and she realized that she didn’t feel half of the things that they were feeling about her own girlfriend. Her mom put it down to every relationship being different, her sister feigned sympathy for all of three seconds before telling her to dump her girlfriend, her dad tried to listen but the grimace on his face as he listened to his daughter’s relationship drama caused Alex to storm into the house into a huff. That relationship lasted two more weeks.

 

For years, Alex has admired her parents’ relationship and the love they have. Alex wasn’t exposed to many fights growing up but that doesn’t mean there were not some nights when she snuck into her sister’s bedroom and stayed until the shouting stopped. It means that Alex got to see two people who were different and who on paper were shown to be incompatible grow together, fall in love and work through whatever life threw at them. It wasn’t perfect but Alex remembers it being just that and she knew that was the type of love she wanted to find.

 

For the longest time, Alex thought that _that_ love was Hannah but slowly and surely Alex has figured out that the love she wants is – in all cliché terms – right beside her. It’s not perfect but Kelley is the one who has made Alex feel all the same ways that her friends in high school did over the boys they liked, Kelley makes her feel the same way she felt when she’d watch her mom and dad gush over each other after a few drinks at Christmas.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too buddy.” Kelley grins as she nudges Alex’s shoulder. “Let’s go Em!”

 

 

The second half starts with a substitution; Morgan is subbed on for Sam and a quick-fire equalizer that comes straight from kickoff through a long ball played over the top of Emily’s head as the Duke striker weaves her way in behind and laces her cleat through the ball and sends it soaring high into the upper ninety giving Alyssa next to no chance of stopping it. Alyssa jumps up and starts screaming at her defense as the players stand frozen, all looking between each other wondering what the fuck just happened.

 

The shock over the equalizer takes a few seconds to sink in before the team shake it off and fall back into the natural flow of the game, now knowing that they definitely need that all important third goal first.

 

Around the seventieth minute of the game, Amy and Syd are starting to tire, especially Syd after being slammed to the floor by overzealous Duke defenders unable to find a better way to stop her. Christen and Alex exchange a glance, both of them know what the other is thinking and that is that they know they need to come up with a way to change their Coach’s mind and get him to sub them on before they’re made to pay for it.

 

As it turns out; Christen and Alex don’t need to do much because whilst they’re focusing on the game as Amy goes down under the next challenge; Paul is already looking at the pair of them and gesturing for them to start warming up, albeit with a scowl set firmly on his face – he knows that they just need more firepower up front, regardless of the morning’s events. Kelley grabs Alex’s wrist just before she can stand up.

 

“Score the winning goal.”

 

It’s not a question.

 

After a couple of minutes warming up and watching a free kick that gets deflected out for a corner which in turn comes to nothing Syd and Amy are substituted for Christen and Alex. With one last look over her shoulder as she hugs Syd and with Kelley’s huge grin in the forefront of her mind, Alex jogs onto the field and at most, hopes for the best.

 

As it happens; Stanford get one chance in the dying minutes of regulation time from Morgan that is palmed away by the Duke keeper and kicked out of bounds by a backtracking defender.

 

The final whistle blows at the end of the ninety minutes as both teams ready themselves for the two periods of overtime to come. Tobin has her arm around Alex’s shoulders as the team huddle on the sidelines as Paul switches things, reminding them that this is still their game to lose and that they _could_ win it in overtime.

 

“Remember our deal.” Kelley tells Alex as she passes her.

 

“What do I get if I win?”

 

“Whatever you want” Kelley shrugs, cocking her left eyebrow as Alex just smirks before running back onto the field.

 

The first period of overtime doesn’t bring a goal but it does bring a save from Alyssa from a point blank header from a corner swung in from the left that’s eventually cleared by Tobin booting it up field, the ball just evading Christen as she tries to control it and bring it down. The second period of overtime doesn’t bring a goal either, the best chance falls again to Duke who are unable to capitalize on a lapse in concentration from Ali who passes the ball straight to the Duke captain who in turn plays a low pass into the striker who is unable to keep her shot on target and it sails high and wide.

 

Both teams know that a penalty shootout could go either way. It’s not about which team is on form or which team has played better over the course of the game and that’s what makes it so much more nerve-wracking. Alex hates shootouts, whether she’s participating in them or at home watching one of her favorite teams in one – even if she has zero emotional connection to any of the teams in a shootout she will still find herself pacing in front of the TV with her hands wrung together and being unable to watch the decisive penalty kick.

 

Stanford win the coin toss and choose to go first in the shootout and Cheney’s the first one to take a penalty, she scores it low into the bottom corner.

 

Duke score their first penalty too, straight down the middle.

 

Tobin takes the next one and she scores, despite the keeper getting a hand to the ball but she can only assist in diverting the ball into the roof of the goal.

 

Duke’s captain takes their second penalty and she scores, she blasts it high and into the top corner of the goal giving Alyssa absolutely no chance of stopping it.

 

Morgan takes the third penalty and coolly slots it into the opposite corner of the keeper’s dive before Duke take their third penalty and unfortunately for the Duke freshman she slots it just wide of the right hand post and the head in her hands makes Alex nervous to take the next one – knowing it could give them the upper-hand in the shootout.

 

Alex’s walk up to the penalty area is stiff and her hands are balled into fists at her side as she glances over to the sideline where Kelley is standing in-between Sam and Amy, she smiles over at Alex as Alex picks the ball up, spinning it in her hands as she places it down on the penalty spot. She’s pretty sure her heart is racing as she takes three precise steps back. She doesn’t think she breathes between the whistle blowing and her running up and striking the ball but when it hits the back of the goal with a satisfying swishing sound, Alex allows herself to breathe.

 

She’s pretty certain she can hear Kelley’s cheers above anybody else’s.

 

Duke score their next penalty to level the scores once again.

 

Christen is the one tasked with the responsibility of taking Stanford’s final penalty of the shootout and Alex doesn’t miss the flash of nerves on her face as she starts walking towards the penalty area. Alex tries to remain optimistic but Christen looks three seconds from running in the opposite direction and foregoing her penalty kick. Alex doesn’t watch the penalty but when Tobin’s arm around her shoulders falls limp and feels heavy, along with the stone silence of her teammates – Alex knows the outcome.

 

Emily and Lauren’s rallying cry and shouts of ‘ _we’re still in this_ ’ sound as they cheer Alyssa on, wanting nothing more than for her to show up and win them this semi-final.

 

It’s quite honestly a stunning save, Alyssa gets her fingertips to Duke’s final penalty, it’s a good penalty but a better save. Alyssa manages to divert the ball out by the faintest of touches and Stanford win the game. The team take off racing towards the goal, all wanting to be the first to congratulate Alyssa. Emily gets somebody’s knee to her eye, Tobin trips and falls into Amy’s back and Alex is halted by a hand tugging on her jersey.

 

“I told you.” Kelley’s smile is so big it practically lights up the entire stadium as she places her hands on Alex’s cheeks. “Winning goal, Al.”

 

Alex is laughing as she wraps her arms around Kelley’s neck and hugs her. It lasts a second because Syd, Julie and Morgan are jumping on the pair of them and pulling them in every direction as they celebrate. Julie is spinning Alex around and screaming so loud when Alex notices her, she stops spinning and lets her gaze focus on Christen sitting on the bench alone. Alex excuses herself from the celebrations for a second, holding one finger up to Kelley before she can ask and crosses the field to the bench, sitting down beside Christen but far enough to avoid a snarky comment that doesn’t come.

 

“It was a good PK; it was just a really good save.” Alex keeps her voice at a reasonably low register and she half expects Christen to scoff in response and tell her to leave but instead she just gets a soft sigh and Christen lifting her head up. “It was a fifty, fifty chance but don’t beat yourself up.”

 

“I wish it was that easy.” Christen mutters but for once her underlying frustration isn’t aimed at Alex.

 

“It can be, we have our teammates out there celebrating and I’m not going to let you be left out.” Alex stands up and extends her hand to Christen.

 

Christen stares at Alex for a second, eyebrows raised before she’s narrowing her eyes but Alex doesn’t retrieve her hand and instead just stares at Christen until the faintest of smiles starts to tug at the corners of her lips and she takes Alex’s hand.

 

“I’m sorry, Alex.”

 

“I know.” Alex smiles reassuringly. “- We should probably talk about it but there’s going to be plenty of time for that later.”

 

Alex wraps her arm around Christen’s shoulders as the pair jog back towards their still celebrating teammates. Julie’s the first to grab Christen and drag her into the middle of a group celebration whilst Kelley slides up beside Alex and wraps her arm around Alex’s waist.

 

“I’m proud of you, Superstar.” Kelley beams as she kisses Alex’s cheek.

 

“That’s my line.” Alex grumbles in protest.

 

“ _Oh_ -” Kelley snorts. “- That’s a line, huh?”

 

“It worked on you, didn’t it?” Alex sasses back, winking at Kelley before shouting Syd’s name and missing Kelley telling her it never stopped working.

 

~

 

Alex is happy, she’s happier when her mom texts her a screenshot of flight confirmation for just a few hours time. She may have only seen her parents just over a week ago but she can’t hide just how excited she is for them to be in the crowd on Sunday. They don’t celebrate their semi-final win the way they want to (a fuck load of alcohol and playing drinking games until they can’t remember their own names) but they do all cram into Amy and Alex’s room to watch a movie – or at least they attempt to. A blaring argument as soon as there are more than five teammates in their room starts when they realize they can’t come to a unanimous agreement over what movie to watch. Kelley jumps over Emily and onto Alex’s bed, forcing Julie to move so that she can be the one to sit beside Alex and Alex tries her hardest to feign annoyance but when Kelley’s hand rests against her thigh she forgets all about it.

 

Tobin, Morgan and Syd are stood at the front of the room still arguing over movie choices whilst Becky tries to play peacemaker but she’s pinching the bridge of her nose and muttering something that sounds vaguely familiar to _you’re acting like fucking children._

 

The argument starts to die down when the opening credits to Beauty and the Beast start playing on the TV as Amy holds the remote control in her hand, she snorts at how a Disney movie happened to be the only thing that could subdue her fighting teammates. Alex loves this movie but for the most part, amongst her sleeping teammates and quiet chatter from various corners of the room; Alex is distracted.

 

“We’re good, right?” Alex has asked the question before her brain has caught up to her mouth.

 

“We’re cuddling in a room full of our teammates, so yeah, I’d say so.” Kelley jokes but her smile falls at the seriousness of Alex’s expression. “Are we – not?”

 

“I think I’ve decided what I want for scoring the winning goal.” Alex tries to hide the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as Kelley waits in anticipation.

 

“Go on, amuse me.”

 

“You.”

 

“Me?” Kelley furrows her eyebrows. “You've had me since we met.”

 

Alex leans in until her forehead is pressed against Kelley’s. “I know.” Alex whispers trying not to wake up Julie who is asleep at the foot of Alex’s bed before she kisses Kelley quickly and shuffles down her bed, curling into Kelley’s side and yawning. "Just don't forget it." 


	27. no ditching me on game days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't expect a happy ending.

When Alex was younger and just getting into soccer she used to sit in her bedroom, still wearing a muddy kit with her muddier cleats hanging off the edge of her bed and dirtying her pristine, freshly pressed white comforter and imagine what it would be like to win her first championship. She used to imagine what lifting a trophy high above her head would feel like and a winner’s medal around her neck as opposed to the losers – or runner up medals that she has hanging on her shelves. She knows now is her best chance to actually be on the field to win the college cup surrounded by teammates who actually care about her and who she cares about.

 

Kelley too. Alex wonders whether Kelley has had enough time to come up with another ridiculous bet for the final this afternoon. Alex knows Kelley and she knows that Kelley will spout ridiculous things for the next hour.

 

“ _Al, you’re going to score an overhead kick._ ”

 

“ _Alex! You’re going to score a free kick in the final minute to win the game. Bet._ ”

 

Alex could go on.

 

“Alex. Alex. Alex. Alex.”

 

“Earth to Alex-”

 

It’s the bread roll that Tobin throws at her face that manages to shake Alex out of her trance. Blushing bright red, Alex smiles sheepishly at her friends as she stirs her cereal around her bowl and reenters or tries to reenter the conversation that’s ongoing at her breakfast table. Julie gently-but-not-that-gently stands on Alex’s foot forcing the forward to look at her.

 

“So-” Julie draws out slowly but knowingly. “- Are you ever going to tell me what last night was about?”

 

Alex furrows her eyebrows, staring at Julie before glancing down to her bowl of cereal before back up at Julie to find her still staring at her, unmoved.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Are you _really_ playing dumb right now?” Julie asks with an exasperated sigh. “You’re better than this and you know exactly what I’m talking about. Last night, movie, Syd and Allie fighting, you kissing Kelley, Moe spilling an entire bowl of popcorn onto the floor-”

 

“You saw that, huh?” Alex asks before tugging her bottom lip between her teeth as she glances across the room to the table that Kelley’s sitting at.

 

“Not intentionally.” Julie shrugs. “I turned around to tell Moe to shut up and saw you guys – so what’s going on?” Julie’s eyes widen and the smallest hint of a smirk tugs at the corners of her lips.

 

Alex purses her lips before shaking her head. “Nothing. It was one kiss. No big deal. Heat of the moment kinda thing? I don’t know Jules.”

 

“Maybe you should talk to her?” Julie suggests as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Isn’t talking one of the things you two agreed to work on?”

 

“Yes but later-” Alex dismisses. “- Before that, we have a championship to win.”

 

“Hell yeah we do!” Syd shouts from across the table, raising her cup of coffee to cheers from the rest of table eight. “We’re going to kill them!”

 

“Literally – because Allie is playing!” Tobin grin across the table at Allie who tries her hardest to reach over and slap her but misses by a mile.

 

**[Momma]**

 

_Can’t wait to see  
you! _

 

Attached is a picture of her mom and dad wearing more Stanford clothing than Alex thinks she owns. She really does love her parents.

 

 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Kelley asks with one hand on Alex’s waist and the other on her wrist as she spins her around. “No ditching me on game days.”

 

“Since when was that a rule?” Alex asks as she tries to hide the hint of a smile that’s threatening to form.

 

“New us; new rules.” Kelley shrugs as though it’s the simplest thing in the world, twisting her fingers until she can intertwine them with Alex’s. “I have a list, want to hear them?”

 

“Do I get a choice?” Alex asks although she’s almost certain she knows Kelley’s answer.

 

“Not really. Coffee?” Kelley asks, already walking towards the entrance of the hotel and dragging Alex along with her. Alex doesn’t answer but she’s sure Kelley would’ve ignored her if she declined anyway.

 

Julie’s words ring in Alex’s ears as they leave the hotel and go to their favorite coffee shop. Alex knows that they do need to talk about the night before and talk about where this leaves them because from previous experience it doesn’t end well if they don’t sit down and talk things through and Alex isn’t sure if she can go through all that again.

 

“Your coffee order sucks.” Alex comments as she grabs her own coffee from the counter and starts weaving in and out of tables until she reaches an empty table in the corner.

 

“Don’t knock it until you try it.”

 

“I’m not trying it.” Alex pulls a disgusted face as she pulls out a chair and sits down, watching Kelley do the same. “It’s kinda gross.”

 

Kelley nods towards Alex’s cup. “You’re one to talk.”

 

Ignoring her, Alex rolls her eyes. “You said you had rules?”

 

Kelley suddenly smiles as she reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out a scrunched up piece of paper and starts opening it up.

 

“You didn’t-” Alex laughs, squeezing her straw between her thumb and forefinger. “You _actually_ wrote them down. Give it.” Alex snatches the paper from Kelley’s hand and holds it high above her head where she knows Kelley can’t reach. “No, we’re not doing that. That’s a stupid rule. Kelley we don’t even do this now. I agree with that one.”

 

Alex scrunches the paper back up and tosses it back towards Kelley; it misses her and flies over her shoulder.

 

“Great. Thanks Al.” Kelley grumbles as she gets up to go and retrieve the paper.

 

“I hate all of those rules.” Alex comments as soon as Kelley has sat back down. “Except for the daily coffee date one.”

 

“ _Of course_.” Kelley rolls her eyes. “You drink too much coffee.”

 

Alex responds by sipping her coffee and flipping Kelley off.

 

~

 

The music is blaring, probably too loud. Water bottles are flying across the locker room; bouncing off walls whilst a wayward bottle narrowly misses the side of Emily’s head. Kelley’s spinning around in the middle of the room; dodging teammates and flailing arms as she tries to dance.

 

Alex feels good about the game. Usually so close to kickoff; Alex has closed herself off by now and she’s feeling nervous about the game but something feels different this time. She’s not nervous, her phone and earphones sit untouched beside her.

 

“Hey superstar-” Kelley wraps her arm around Alex’s shoulders and sits beside her. “Are you going to score a goal for me?”

 

“You ask me this before every game.” Alex reminds her.

 

Kelley hums in agreement. “That’s because I know you’re good enough to score every time you play.”

 

“Don’t be a suck-up, Kell.” Alex mumbles under her breath thinking that Kelley won’t hear her but she does and she slaps Alex’s shoulders and gasps offensively.

 

“Can’t you just take a compliment without being sarcastic?” Kelley shoots back, twisting her fingers in the loose hairs at the base of Alex’s ponytail.

 

“ _Thank you for the compliment, Kell_.” Alex draws out as emotionlessly as she can before she grins causing Kelley to roll her eyes.

 

Kelley starts to stand up but Alex pulls her back down first and starts rummaging through her bag whilst Kelley watches on expectantly. Alex pulls a black sharpie out of one of the inside pockets and points at the bandage that’s on Kelley’s wrist.

 

“You keep a sharpie in your bag at _all_ times?”

 

“Yes. Don’t laugh.” Alex tells as she pulls the lid of the sharpie and draws a number thirteen on the bandage. “I don’t know why you wear this even if you’re not playing.”

 

“It’s good luck.” Kelley shrugs before swiping the sharpie from Alex’s hand and looking for something to write on.

 

It take Alex a second and until Kelley digs the tip of the sharpie into her thigh.

 

“Kelley!” Alex exclaims only causing Kelley to laugh as she draws the nineteen in block numbers and colors them in. “You drew on my thigh – are you kidding me?”

 

“Nobody’s going to see it, stop complaining.” Kelley puts the top back on the sharpie and tosses it into Alex’s bag. “I think you should get it as a tattoo.”

 

“No; getting your jersey number tattooed on my thigh is about as tacky as getting your girlfriend’s name tattooed on you.”

 

“Nineteen or Kelley. It’s your choice, babe.” Kelley grins as she tucks a loose strand of hair behind Alex’s ear.

 

“How about neither?” Alex shoots as she shoves Kelley off the bench. “Go and put your damn socks on.”

 

Kelley winks and blows a kiss over her shoulder before she slides across the locker room and crashes into Tobin.

 

 

Warm-ups go well; Alex hits four shots during warm-ups; ignoring the one that smacks back of the crossbar but she makes the other three and Kelley whistles every time the ball hits the back of the net. One of Alex’s favorite sounds are the sound of cleats hitting the locker room floor; it’s so loud and she knows as long as the cleat sounds are louder than her thoughts it puts her in a good mood. It’s when the sounds are soft and sound sad that Alex hates. She can’t imagine how upset she’s going to be if they lose today.

 

“This is it, losers-”

 

“- Winners.” Emily corrects; holding her hand up and cutting Kelley off.

 

“Both of you shut up; I’m talking.” Becky grumbles as she crosses her arms over chest.

 

“Bossy.” Kelley and Emily mutter causing Becky to roll her eyes.

 

It’s not the best pep talk – mainly because Kelley and Emily use any opportunity that presents itself to interrupt Becky to derail her speech. In the end; Becky just tells them they better fucking win – which gets more a resounding cheer in response from the team than any heartfelt speech could have done. Alex finishes tying the laces to her right cleat and stands up, tugging on the hem of her jersey, twisting her fingers into the material.

 

“Nervous, superstar?” Kelley asks; sliding in front of Alex and immediately wrapping her hands around Alex’s.

 

“Me? Nervous? Never.” Alex scoffs.

 

“You’re a really shit liar, Morgan.” Kelley laughs as she wraps her arm around Alex’s shoulder and leads her out of the locker room. “Come on, it’s only a game. Kill it out there.” Kelley tugs on the back of Alex’s ponytail and smiles at her before walking up the line of their teammates waiting.

 

_It’s only a game._

 

Alex knows it’s only a game but the thought of losing this game and losing the championship in her senior year is something she doesn’t want to experience. Alex knows she has something to prove in this game; it’s the same thing that she’s tried to prove all season – that she was a better player than Cal ever made her feel. She knows she’s already better for actually being with a team that’s made it to the final but she doesn’t think she can confidently say out loud that leaving was the right decision unless she has a winner’s medal around her neck in a couple of hours time.

 

“Ready?” Julie asks, hooking her arms around Alex’s shoulders from behind.

 

“I think so.” Alex shrugs.

 

“Talked to Kell?” Julie asks.

 

The teams start to walk out onto the field and Alex quickly escapes Julie’s grasp.

 

“Oh look at that, we’re going.” Alex grins as she runs to catch up with the rest of her team. “Kill it JJ.”

 

 

Neither team, nor coach or fan inside the stadium expect the game to be easy; they’ve proved that just by getting to the final that they’re the best two teams and all morning, all their coach drilled into them was not to underestimate Florida. All that Becky kept repeating them was they have to stick to their game plan because the minute they try anything different and it fails – Florida won’t waste any time taking advantage.

 

It’s scrappy at first; nerves from both sides show in the early stages. A lot of misplaced passes take up the first few minutes of the game with neither team being able to do anything positive with the small bouts of possession that they actually have. It’s a difficult environment to be in; with the game close enough to Florida; there is so much support for them and instead of a neutral stadium; it’s almost though Stanford are playing an away game and it’s unclear whether that’s going to be a hindrance or give them the boost they need to disappoint nearly everybody in the stadium.

 

“Good start.” Tobin mutters when Sam brings down a Florida midfielder for a free kick.

 

“Don’t jinx us.” Alex grumbles as she shoves Tobin’s shoulder; the pair running back to defend the free kick.

 

The free kick comes to nothing but it’s just a couple of minutes later when Ali gets tackled and goes down clutching her knee and screaming so loud that every single person in the stadium could definitely hear her. The Stanford players freeze and all look between each other with identical nervous and concerned glances as the doctors run onto the field.

 

“How bad did it look?” Alex asks Kelley as she walks over to the sideline and takes the bottle of water that Kelley’s holding out to her.

 

“Bad. Really fucking bad.” Kelley swallows thickly as her eyes dart between Alex and Ali who is still unmoved. “I don’t think she’s finishing the game.”

 

“Who’s going to come in, you?” Alex asks.

 

Meghan and Whitney both sit at the end of the bench; neither of them can play because of injuries sustained in practice and in their semi-final against Duke.

 

“Probably.” Kelley shrugs as she takes the water bottle back. “My knee’s okay, I think I’ll be good. I need to get my star a goal, right?”

 

Alex just rolls her eyes and turns around as a stretcher is brought onto the field. It’s sad and Alex feels horrible having to see Ali go through this in their biggest game of the season.

 

“Sometimes soccer really fucking sucks.” Alex sighs as Paul sends Kelley to start warming up.

 

It’s nearly seven minutes of Ali being down before she’s stretched off the field and replaced by Kelley after she gets the briefest of instructions from their coach. The mood swings after that, the stadium isn’t as lively but that’s the extra push that the Stanford girls needed to go out and win that; they don’t just want to win it anymore, they want to win it for Ali.

 

It’s around the twenty-fourth minute when Stanford get the first goal of the game. It’s Julie and it’s from a corner – never leave JJ unmarked during a corner.

 

Alex reaches Julie first and jumps onto her back before the rest of their teammates reach them and crash into them.

 

It’s ten minutes later when they score the second goal; this time it’s Syd and she and Alex just about manage to finish their handshake before they’re knocked to the ground by Emily, Kelley and Tobin colliding into them.

 

“It’s your turn next, okay.” Kelley phrases it like a question but Alex knows she isn’t asking.

 

They reach halftime two goals up and the entire team run down to the locker room and the first question on everybody’s lips is if Ali is okay. Ali’s sitting in the corner of the locker room, her foot in a boot and crutches by her side.

 

“This sucks.” She groans. “But hey, at least we’re winning.”

 

Halftime is over as soon as it starts and starting the second half with a comfortable but dangerous need causes the Stanford team to come out of the locker room and start off a little shakily. The defense allows two long range shots on frame within the first four minutes – luckily they’re both saved but it reminds them that this game is still far from won. It takes them around five minutes to get into the game properly and for the chances to start coming and once the chances start coming; the goals don’t but Stanford start to look the better team again.

 

The third goal comes from a free kick from twenty yards out and Tobin buries it into the bottom right corner after spotting a gap in the wall.

 

“You’re killing me, Al. Score already.” Kelley groans as she trails after Alex after celebrating the third goal.

 

“I would if you could actually cross the ball.” Alex shoots back with a sweet smile.

 

Kelley takes that as a challenge and for the remainder of the game; every time she gets possession of the ball, she drives forward and puts as many crosses into the penalty area as she can trying to get Alex a goal to disprove Alex’s theory about not being able to cross the ball.

 

It takes until the last few minutes of the game for Kelley to curl the ball in from the left and for Alex to out-jump the defender who has been keeping tabs on her for the entire game and get her head to the ball first, diverting the ball towards the goal and out of the reach of the helpless dive of the Florida keeper.

 

“Told you.” Kelley smirks when Alex reaches her and wraps her arms around Kelley’s shoulders.

 

“Shut up.” Alex groans as she wipes the sweat off her forehead onto Kelley’s even sweatier jersey; instantly regretting it. “It was one decent cross.”

 

“You scored, didn’t you?” Kelley shoots back and this time Alex doesn’t answer.

 

Instead Alex just tightens her grip on the back of Kelley’s jersey and sighs. She’s content. She’s so fucking content and just about to become a champion.

 

~

 

Alex finds Kelley instantly after the final whistle blows. They run out winners by four unanswered goals and for a minute it feels completely surreal. Alex’s go-to reaction is to laugh because she can’t believe they just did it and made it look so easy. It’s almost a bitter-sweet win for her, her mind still instantly goes back to Berkeley, back to the last three years when she played there and all she desperately wanted was to win this competition with them; sure they won it but they won it before she started college and all she wanted was to win it with them and as soon as she leaves; she wins it.

 

“We’re fucking champions.” Kelley grins as she reaches Alex and slips her hand into Alex’s. “How cool is that dude?”

 

“Pretty cool.” Alex laughs as she looks around. “It beats being a loser anyway.”

 

“That’s – that’s enthusiastic.” Kelley snorts. “We won! Act like it!” Kelley jumps around excitedly with both of her hands on Alex’s shoulders. “What’s up?” Kelley slows and she drops her arms back to her side.

 

“I just-” Alex hesitates; she really doesn’t want to get into it right now. “- It’s just surreal.” Alex smiles as she slings her arm around Kelley’s shoulder. “It’ll sink in soon; let’s go.”

 

 

As soon as the winner’s medal is placed around Alex’s neck she’s already thinking about where her mom is going to hang it when she brings it home at Christmas; her mom displays her loser’s – runner’s up medals so she can only imagine what she’s going to do when she comes home as a champion. Speaking of her parents; she can hear them screaming from across the field so she waits for Kelley to get her medal before she runs across the field with Kelley’s hand in hers until she reaches her parents who are already waiting for her.

 

“I’m proud of you, Champ.” Mike says to her the second that Alex reaches him. “I never had any doubt.”

 

“Mom?” Alex asks to make sure.

 

Pam holds her hands up. “He’s telling the truth, he had faith in you guys from the first whistle.”

 

“Nice.” Alex lets go of Kelley’s hand and jumps onto the barrier and hugs her dad tightly.

 

The medal digs uncomfortably into her ribs as she hugs him but she would take all the discomfort in the world to see the proud smiles on her parents’ faces – especially after they both initially doubted her decision to leave Cal at the end of last year – also maybe she likes being smug and proving her parents wrong.

 

Her mom denies she’s crying when Alex hugs her and Alex humors her, normally she’d tease her for getting over-emotional but it’s kind of endearing.

 

“Nice job, Kelley. I see yours and Alex’s connection is still going strong.” Mike says to Kelley.

 

Alex turns around; narrowing her eyes.

 

“I meant on the field.” Mike tells Alex who just holds her hands up in surrender.

 

“You know us, Sir. We’re good together.” Kelley smiles; glancing over at Alex.

 

“Kell! Alex! Trophy!” Allie screams across field.

 

“Shit.” Alex and Kelley mutter in unison as Alex jumps down from the barrier and the pair sprint back across field and make it to the podium just in time.

 

 

After the trophy presentation; the trophy is passed around teammates; Alex’s champion t-shirt is soaked through and sticking to her body in the most unflattering way after Julie, Syd and Moe all ambushed her and poured water over her head completely soaking her.

 

“Thanks for this guys, really. Why is it so warm though?” Alex shudders as she tries to peel the shirt away from her body to ring it out.

 

“You love us, shut it Morgan.” Syd grins as she kisses Alex’s cheek.

 

“Yeah, no, not so much.” Alex laughs as she pushes Syd’s face away from her.

 

Sitting on the field; Alex leans into Julie’s side.

 

“You and Kell look… cozy.” Morgan comments when she spots Alex with her head turned watching as she chases Tobin down to grab the trophy.

 

“Cozy?” Alex snorts. “Who are you? My Grandma?”

 

“Shut up. Are you guys back together now?” Morgan asks.

 

Alex twists until she can lie down with her head in Julie’s lap whilst she messes with her medal.

 

“Can’t say. I guess we’re getting there?” Alex shrugs. “We still have a _lot_ to talk about but it’s nice right now.”

 

“Ah talking, your least favorite relationship activity.” Julie winks before her eyes widen. “Wait – that did not mean to sound so sexual!” She exclaims suddenly causing the four roommates to start laughing.

 

“Oh god.” Alex mumbles as she covers her face with her hands. “You guys are so annoying.”

 

 

“No ditching during celebrations.”

 

Kelley’s hand on Alex’s wrist is what stops her from heading into the locker room.

 

“Okay. That’s _definitely_ not a rule.” Alex murmurs with a roll of her eyes.

 

“You know what the best thing about wearing this is?” Kelley asks as she gently lifts Alex’s medal up.

 

“Amuse me.”

 

“I can do this.” Kelley sighs as she pulls Alex closer to her by her medal and kisses her.

 

“God-” Alex scoffs. “- You’re such a dumbass.” She laughs before kissing Kelley again and walking into the locker room.

 

~

 

“Are you sure I can’t just sleep?” Kelley asks again as she covers her face with one of the pillows from her bed. “I’m fucking exhausted.”

 

“You know if you stay here; Allie and Syd are just going to come in here and carry you to us.” Alex sings and Kelley groans because she knows Alex is right. “Just go, we can always sneak away early; by then they’ll be too drunk to notice anyway.”

 

“Pinky promise?” Kelley asks sticking her hand up in the air but making no attempt to get out of bed. When Kelley realizes that Alex has no intention of getting up and walking over to her she waves her hand dismissively. “Never mind; I’ll take your word for it.”

 

Alex knows this is the perfect time for them to talk; they still have at least twenty minutes until one of their already tipsy teammates bangs on the door and tells them to hurry up so they can at least begin to talk about what they’re getting themselves into, again. Julie’s right; they suck at the talking part and maybe they’re more alike than Alex realizes. They tried to avoid talking about what they were in the first place for weeks and it really didn’t help them in the slightest but now they have the chance to talk about it before anything serious happens again so that they both have boundaries at least.

 

The thought makes Alex want to bolt for the door and she’s pretty sure Kelley would follow.

 

Instead she settles for straightening her hair instead; silently because she’s pretty sure Kelley’s fallen back asleep.

 

When Alex was seven she asked her Grandma how she stayed married to her Grandpa for so long and she sat Alex on her knee and told her it’s all about communication – if you don’t talk, things get confusing and people get hurt. Her Grandma told her about all the fights she’d had with her Grandpa over the years because they didn’t just sit down and talk through their problems like adults. When Alex was nine; her Uncle was killed in a motorbike accident and she tugged on her mom’s hand and asked if him if he communicated with the guy in the van who hit him – would he still be alive? Her mom said no and Alex realized that communication doesn’t solve anything, bad things still happen and talking doesn’t help.

 

It took Alex until she was in high school to realize that tragic accidents happen and talking can still help with a lot of things. Alex still reluctantly talked about her problems though; she liked to do things by herself, suffer in silence if you wish.

 

It took until she started dating Hannah that talking just wasn’t an option; their relationship was never built on anything other than mutual attraction and Alex being in college and wanting something fun. The seriousness of every relationship she had ever witnessed never occurred to her and even when the slightest hint of it did – it was forgotten almost immediately. That was their first mistake; Alex still does wonder what would have happened if they had became friends first, slowly worked their way into a relationship, would things have been different?

 

In realizing all of the mistakes she made with Hannah and everything different that she did with Kelley; Alex started to understand what her Grandma was talking about when she was seven.

 

Friendship first. Out of everything, that’s the one thing that Alex is grateful for; she had that strong friendship with Kelley before anything and it proved everything that Alex is sure she already knew; everything with Kelley has been different, well, almost everything. She also knows that avoiding having a serious conversation about them almost ruined them before they began so she knows that Julie’s right and they need to talk about what this is before it becomes what it was before.

 

Turning around; Alex grabs the towel from the floor beside her and throws it across the room at Kelley to wake her up.

 

“What?” Kelley asks, jolting upright, looking all kinds of disorientated.

 

“I think we need to talk.” Alex surprises herself with how much her voice doesn’t waver.

 

“Now? I’m trying to nap. Goodnight.” Kelley flops back down onto the bed and covers her face with the pillow again. “Whatever you want to talk about, we can talk about tomorrow.”

 

“Kell, we can’t, we need to talk about it now.” Alex sighs as she pushes herself off the floor and walks across the room, pulling the pillow from Kelley’s hands and tossing it to the end of the bed.

 

Kelley cracks open one eye. “What?”

 

“This is important.” Alex tells her as she sits on the bed, pulling her knees to her chest. “We need to talk about us before we become us again. We made that mistake the first time and I don’t want to make it again.”

 

Kelley groans as she pulls herself up. “I don’t see why we can’t have this conversation tomorrow.”

 

“I can’t wait until tomorrow.”

 

“You can’t but I can.” Kelley shrugs. “If you _really_ want to talk; then talk.” Kelley gestures to the room before leaning back and making herself comfortable.

 

Alex doesn’t know how to start. She knows she wants to have this talk, she knows they need to have this talk but she hasn’t exactly figured out how she’s going to approach this subject properly, their serious talks in the past haven’t exactly gone to plan. Alex has no idea what this is; it feels like nothing has changed whilst feeling like everything has changed again. Does she even _truly_ want to go down this road again?

 

She hasn’t thought about Georgia for a couple of weeks; not properly at least. It still hurts knowing what went down during that weekend and Alex needs to take a minute to decide whether she’s willing to forgive; she’s a lot more understanding than some people would be but does that mean she’s willing to let herself fall into a circumstance like that once more.

 

“You hurt me. A lot.” Alex murmurs; her voice so soft that she doesn’t think Kelley’s caught the words until Alex feels her tense up. “You were the last person I thought would hurt me. I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt for a while but I couldn’t because every fucking time I looked at you I saw _her_.”

 

“Al…” Kelley trails off.

 

“- No. Don’t. Don’t stop me because I have to say this.” Alex interjects; holding her hand up but still avoiding Kelley’s eyes. “You had me from the first time I met you and I was still wary because you know everything that happened with Hannah and I was still reeling from that but you always made me feel like I was important, that I was the only girl you cared about – _relationship wise_.” Alex stops for a second. “I thought you wouldn’t hurt me and especially not in the same way you know I just had been. Part of me really hated myself, I blamed myself for the stupidest reasons, reasons that you wouldn’t believe because that’s what I do. I couldn’t understand why _you_ would be the one to hurt me, you know?”

 

“I didn’t – I wanted – I – I don’t know.” Kelley stammers out a response before falling quiet.

 

“My parents adore you; even though they know parts of what happened, they figured it out pretty quickly but they still love you.” Alex draws out. “If they would have straight up asked I probably would’ve lied because I still want them to like you. Crazy right?”

 

Alex finally turns to face Kelley.

 

“I’ve had this voice in my head all weekend trying to talk me out of this because I don’t honestly know if I’m ready to give this another try. I don’t know if I can ever completely get over this but at the same time I know I can.” Alex drags a hand through her hair as she thinks. “A huge part of me wants to just do what we did the first time and just not label it for a while because that was fun, we had fun.”

 

“That’s all I wanted at first.”

 

Alex freezes. She’s sure she hasn’t heard Kelley right, she’s sure she’s just hearing things.

 

What’s that supposed to mean?” Alex asks warily.

 

“When I first met you, at Allie’s, I saw you in the kitchen and I was finally getting back to being me so I thought you’d be fun to flirt with and have a bit of fun. I was still getting over Ann so the last thing I wanted was something serious.” Kelley explains with a light shrug of the shoulders. “That’s what I thought you wanted too.”

 

“ _You’d be fun to flirt with and have a bit of fun_?” Alex repeats the words slowly, so slowly that she almost chokes getting them out. “What the fuck? You had _no_ intentions of wanting something slightly serious? I was _a bit of fun_ to you?”

 

“You’re overreacting.” Kelley grimaces. “I fell in love with you; didn’t I?”

 

Alex gives Kelley the blankest stare she can muster but she’s scowling and Kelley’s eyes widen when she realizes she probably should have kept her mouth shut.

 

“Call me out for overreacting-” Alex stops when Kelley holds one finger up. “- I wasn’t being serious.” She cuts Kelley off before she can speak. “You’re honestly telling me that you wanted to have fun and that I caught a lucky break when you started to have real fucking feelings for me?”

 

Kelley scoffs. “Come on Al; you can’t tell me you actually wanted a real relationship from the start.”

 

“No but I know better than to play with someone’s feelings.” Alex shoots back, standing up and crossing her arms over her chest. “What if you hadn’t caught feelings, huh? What if I had and you hadn’t. What would you have done then?”

 

“You’re blowing this _way_ out of proportion.” Kelley dismisses with a shake of her head.

 

“No, I’m being perfectly proportionate right now.” Alex disagrees. “Answer my question; what would you have done if I was the one to have feelings and you didn’t?”

 

“I don’t know!” Kelley exclaims exasperatedly. “I don’t know because that’s not what happened. You’re forgetting that I love you and you’re getting mad over something that worked out.”

 

“You still cheated on me.” Alex reminds her. “Let’s put all that aside for a second. You kissed your ex, Kell and that broke my fucking heart.”

 

“Are we actually having a conversation about us or are you just standing on your high horse and reminding me of all the stupid mistakes I’ve made?” Kelley asks her, jaw clenched as she stares at Alex.

 

Alex laughs and Kelley freezes.

 

“I can’t believe you’re throwing this all back in my face.” Alex laughs almost bitterly. “Maybe the reason we’re stuck in – whatever the fuck this place is – is because you’re too immature for an adult relationship.”

 

Kelley doesn’t have a comeback and instead she just sighs and unclenches her jaw, sitting on the bed and staring down at the floor. Alex uncrosses her arms and brushes her hair out of her face. The anger in the room starts to disappear but they’re still standing in stone-cold silence as they let their fight sink in and think about what has been said.

 

Alex was right; serious talks never go to plan for them.

 

“Was your plan all along just to play me because you were still getting over Ann and praying that I wouldn’t catch feelings?” Alex asks after an eternity of silence.

 

“At first.” Kelley answers. “Did you really think I was after a serious relationship after getting all the tiny bits of information about me that everyone kept telling you?”

 

“No.” Alex sighs. “But by that time, I already knew I liked you so I figured the feeling was mutual. I didn’t think you’d continue it after you got your _bit of fun_.”

 

“You’re forgetting that at one point it stopped being just _a bit of fun_.” Kelley reminds her.

 

“Do you know that hurts to hear?” Alex asks her, grabbing her phone from the bed and slipping it into her back pocket. “Do you even realize how much it hurts to hear you say you were flirting with me for fun for weeks?”

 

“I know it hurts.” Kelley groans. “I love you.”

 

“When has love _ever_ been enough?” Alex’s voice wavers and she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth to stop herself from crying.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kelley asks; her tone all kinds of offended.

 

“It means-” Alex starts but she hesitates. “- That you can’t fix everything by saying I love you. It means that you could say it a hundred times but I’m still going to be upset and hurt and it’s not going to magically disappear.”

 

“Great.” Kelley mutters.

 

“Listen-” Alex starts making her way to the door. “We have an entire room of teammates waiting for us to go and celebrate with them and if we don’t go now; they’re going to come here to drag us there by our hair.”

 

“I’m not in the mood for celebrating.” Kelley scoffs.

 

“Suit yourself. Allie will come and get you though.” Alex shrugs as she opens the door and lets it slam shut behind her as she walks down the hallway to Allie and Syd’s room.

 

Knocking on the door; Allie pulls it open and grins brightly as she pulls Alex into the room and slams it shut behind her.

 

“Where’s Kell?” Allie asks.

 

“I don’t know, I think she’s coming.” Alex shrugs and ducks away before Allie can ask any follow up questions.

 

Alex scans the room for Julie and finds her standing over by the window, a cup in her hand whilst scrolls through her phone. Alex weaves in and out of her teammates and reaches Julie, tapping her on the shoulder and frowning.

 

“You’re a shit friend.” She says immediately.

 

“Excuse me? What did I do?” Julie’s aghast as she pockets her phone.

 

“You told me to talk to Kelley; which I did and it fucking sucked and now we’re in an even worse place than before. Did you know she had _zero_ intention of actually wanting to date me? I’m so stupid, Jules” Alex grumbles as she leans back against the wall.

 

“Here-” Julie hands her cup to Alex. “- You need this more than me.”

 

Alex downs the drink in one large gulp and hisses when the vodka burns the back of her throat.

 

Alex stays against the wall whilst Julie ducks underneath Christen’s flailing arm to go and get them more drinks when there’s a knock at the door and Syd opens it allowing Kelley to walk in. Alex watches Kelley walk past their teammates until she reaches Christen and whispers something in her ear to which Christen and nods and the pair leave the room almost immediately. Alex sighs, the last thing she needs is for Kelley to give Christen more ammunition to hate her, she might be over her initial anger but their friendship isn’t anywhere close to being normal.

 

“I feel like this is my fault.” Julie says as soon as she reaches Alex and hands her one of the cups in her hand.

 

“It is.” Alex mutters. “It’s not.” She shakes her head not three seconds later. “It’s my fault for trying to instantly fix this. We have more to talk about and she needs to just open up and tell me everything but I don’t think she ever will.”

 

Julie wraps her arm around Alex’s shoulders and pulls her into her side.

 

“What a celebration, huh?” 

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me over on my tumblr or be my friend, I don't mind which: leahgaltons


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